Constants - (Updated August 12)

[sadie]

Wonderful, wonderful update! The admission between them was so cute and poor them having to watch tv for 90 mins when they *really* wanted to be making out...

[taranwillow4ever]

Really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the pieces that you put in the chat room. You are doing a very good job with the various issues that each of them are coping with. Keep it up. You've wetted my appetite for Constants again.

[Yours]

Awesomw update Megan!

I'm so glad that Willow and Tara finally told each other that they both want more.

I really hope that Tara will think about moving out of her father's house...

XX Rachel XX

[sadie]

I'm going to read it for the 3rd time now... :$

[JustSkipIt]

What a very good update. You’re definitely moving things forward. It’s still a little hard to see from the outside how this is going to move Tara into a safer environment. I know that I’ve expressed concern about that and I’ll continue to do so until she and preferably Donnie are out of her father’s home. I’m still wondering if the relationship with Giles is going to come into play there. Faith seems to fit in surprisingly well with the college geeks in spite of being a non-college and non-geek type. Cordelia seemed somewhat rude here but perhaps that’s just her.

“He didn’t seem very sincere,” Andrew agreed. “I kind of feel like his meeting us was part of this weird thing, like he’s trying to control every aspect of her life.”

Nice observation, Andrews. You hit that one on the head there. He wants to not only control every aspect but he wants her to know that he controls every aspect.

“It’s really hard to do anything about domestic violence unless the individual who’s being abused steps forward,” Cordelia offered.

Sadly, and not terribly compassionately stated, but quite true. It’s especially true in this situation given that Tara’s no longer a minor.

Willow’s attention, however, did not stray to the room, but remained fixed on Tara. “Are you wearing makeup?” she asked.

“Uh … ” Caught. “W-well, I mean, from work …” No, Willow would know she had just showered. “Uh, yeah, a little.”

Is she wearing the makeup for Willow? I’m just not totally clear here. Of course it could be that I despise make-up so it wouldn’t impress me but I know that’s an unusual and strange thing.

I’m impressed that Tara’s father let the two girls go to the milkshake thing. He seems reasonable these days or as reasonable as an abusive rapist can seem on a good day. How funny that Tara is showing her Xena. I’ve never gotten into it but I’ve always thought it was one of those things like Buffy or soap operas that if you love it, you love it and if you don’t, you probably think it’s sort of stupid. You know what I mean, I hope.

I like the way Willow brings up the whole Xena/Gabrielle text/subtext thing. She’s pretty direct about it which is cool.

“Willow …” The word was half spoken, half pleaded. Willow’s eyelashes swept upward, and her eyes found Tara’s. “Sweetie …” She almost died when Willow’s tongue darted out to moisten her lips. “I want to kiss you so badly right now …” she breathed. Willow’s eyes widened at the admission. “I know I shouldn’t. I—I shouldn’t even be saying it. B-but I want to …” It took all of Tara’s willpower to hold her gaze on Willow, when every instinct told her to look away.

Well done, Tara.

“No, I’m glad you said it,” Willow assured her. “I’ve wanted to, for a while. Since the party.” She paused. “Since before the party.”

And equally well done and direct, Willow.

And then they watched more TV? Wow, they either have a super-human amount of restraint or a sub-human level of hormones. I’m either impressed or dismayed. But then I love that Willow comes back to kiss her. How wonderfully romantic.

Dream = nice. Waking up in room with Donnie = blech. Vision of headstone = WTF. Who’s headstone is that? Why is she having that vision? I like that she’s going to paint but am worried that the headstone is Donnie’s.

[jasmydae]

Meant to FBFB on that last post, but since we're on a new page already, I'll talk here.

Chapter 26 FBFB:

JujuDeRoussie: Congratulations on the dibsiness. The chapters are becoming more Willow/Tara focused, which is a real treat to write. I don't see this changing any time soon. Donny at first doesn't really think anything of Willow--she's just a friend of Tara's. But as they interact more, I expect Donny form bonds with some of the Scoobies. As far as what he saw/thinks/knows from his glimpse of their closeness during Clue, that will come back around. You are always welcome, sweet Kitopian. ^_^b

Cardoza: Tara's mentioning that she liked "their version" better makes me wonder what words they were putting into the characters' mouths before Donny entered! That's one of those things best left to the minds of the readers. *I* like to think it was sassy dialog. ^_^ I love that you love the story. Makes it all worth writing.

SickSadGirl: Hey, there. ^_^ New face. Clue's one of my favorite movies, too; definitely my favorite comedy. Like Willow and Tara, I've said many times that I could probably recite the whole thing by heart. But between you and me, I probably couldn't. Don't be so hard on yourself; nothing good comes of it. ^_^ Thanks for chiming in; the feedback (and ego boost) really makes my day!

JustSkipIt: No doubt about it: Tara's in a bad spot. There is resolution coming, of course--and in the meanwhile, at least we get some Willow/Tara screen time. Chapter 28 *will* come faster than the prior ones. Gotta break this slow update cycle.

Sadie: Yep, the girls might not be together all the time, but I'm also planning on picking up the pace of the story a bit, so make faster the spaces in between their visits. Hopefully it'll balance well without being too jarring a shift. What Donny thinks about what he saw will be a subject in a near-future chapter. Probably 29ish.

love_2003: Maybe, although that would break her 10PM curfew. Thanks for the FB!

Sami: There will be. Upcoming chapters are a lot more W/T-centric. (At long last!) I'm looking forward to their next *totally* along meeting as well, particularly after Chapter 27.

Chapter 27 FBFB:

JujuDeRoussie: Another dibs! You're on a streak. Was waking up at 5AM worth it? ^_~ I had a *lot* of fun getting inside of Tara's head and seeing her frustration with wanting Willow and the timing of the breakup and ... generally being on edge. So, yes, they've admitted they're into each other; didn't seem terribly hard to do so, particularly with their bodies offering lots of evidence to help out. I don't think Mr. M would be keen on overnights (despite how keen we might be!). 93? That's biotastic! Yes, Tara's got her painting muse. *hug*

Zampsa1975: The way that Tara's awful situation gets resolved might come as something of a surprise.

sadie: Tara seems to have the desire to "do the right thing." (Like she thinks: does that ever really work?) However, this is nicely balanced by Willow's impatience.

taranwillow4ever: Hey, there. ^_^ Nice to see you in here! Thanks for the kind words. This story's been a blast to write. By the way, whetted.

Rachel: Really. It was about time, wasn't it? Don't you worry: Tara's getting out of that apartment one way or another. (probably another, though ... )

sadie: Let me know if anything's different!

JustSkipIt: Holy crow, that's a lot of feedback. It's got ... paragraphs! So, yes, I'm going to be speeding up the story (which was going at a snail's pace) now that I've gotten a bit more comfortable with writing and these characters. Hopefully the pace shift isn't jarring--most people listed the slow pace as a complaint, so hopefully this'll turn out better. ^_^ I don't talk much about what's going to happen with Tara's dad because it was one of the earliest story arcs I planned out, and it has a few surprises. But feel free to continue to guess ^_~ Sadly, Mr. Maclay is based on several parents I've had the displeasure of meeting in the real world.

Cordelia's not the most diplomatic in her communication (one of the few characters in this story for which this is true), but I think her motives are good.

Yes, Tara was wearing makeup for Willow. It's kind of strange, writing characters from a TV show and trying to determine whether they'd be the type to wear make--since *everybody* on TV shows does. They wake *up* with perfect makeup. Since it was something I'd had her do earlier in the story--and had Willow think it was strangely out of character for Tara--I stuck with it in this scene.

I wish I could say he was being understanding and reasonable, but for the hyper-controlling, making allowances like these are almost a form of currency.

I started watching Xena a couple months ago (thereby breaking my vow to not start any new TV shows until I'd finished this story), and, like Willow, thought it was *very* silly and kind of bad--but watchable. I've got a weak spot for characters. If I like the characters, I can watch *anything*, no matter how terrible. There are a few episodes that are gems, particularly the really funny ones that have little to do with the season arcs.

I like the idea that Willow and Tara are comfortable enough with each other to talk about anything--including how they feel about each other. Plus, I just get *so* tired of "W likes T but can't imagine T liking her back; ditto for T; they secretly pine for each other for ages" plots. In my original disclaimer, I promised that there would be life angst, but *no* relationship angst between the girls. Direct is best.

Despite her admission, Tara doesn't feel right about the timing of Willow's breakup. Almost like she ... like she wanted to call dibs on Willow, but felt like there should be some undefined mourning period. Luckily, Willow's impatience (often depicted as a flaw) will do some good on that front.

This is the problem with writing one chapter a month: earlier chapters get forgotten (or feel like they occurred ages ago, while really the entire story has only spanned a few weeks). The flash vision Tara had on the deck is actually a memory from a dream she had in an earlier chapter.

[Owl]

Ack! I feel bad coz you updated again before I managed to feedback for Part 26. Apologies for the slackness. They watched Clue right? I love that movie!

This latest update was great. I loved how they talked, all direct and disclosey, especially about Oz and Willow’s breakup. I loved the suddenness of the kiss and then the end with Tara outside painting at night. I also loved that they watched Xena. I found an old VHS cassette of mine in the cupboard the other day from about 10 years ago which has on it taped episodes of Charmed, Roswell, Buffy, Hercules and Xena. It was like a ‘greatest hits’ of my late 90’s TV drama obsessions and I’m now very certain that I need to have a Xena marathon sometime in the near future.

Anyway, back on topic, I’m very eager to see what Faith and the gang do in regards to their inklings about Tara’s father and I’m also very eager for lots more kissage and dating type things now that Willow has started them off so spectacularly. Thanks for the update.

[restlessminds]

Having read that for the 480th time, I can confirm that it just keeps getting sweeter.

Thanks for sharing
restlessminds

[Bellalocke]

Hi! This is my first post on this board, and well... your story was just so wonderful that I decided I had to sign up, if only to leave a comment. So, I come in peace

First of all, the characters are wonderfully developed and true to form. I hate that Mr. M is such a... bastard but then again, it is good motivation to get Tara (and Donnie) out of that house.

I think that speeding up the story is a good idea - i just hope that you are not going to get to Tara/Willow smoochies and other good stuff and have the storyline drop to the way side like some of the other stories I've read have done.

Anyway, I will stop babbling.

Update soon please?

[rayn]

So, you know that feeling you get when you make eye contact with a 'special person' in your life and your chest just swells with anticipation at the idea of interacting with them for a short while...? Y'know, you get all fluttery and stuff?
This is the feeling that I will be getting when this story is updated. It's trucking along nicely with a perfect balance of life's reality and joy at seeing the familiar faces of the Buffy crew. It's a wonderful story. Can't thank you enough for writing this!

[Bellalocke]

mmm I'm getting all sad faced waiting for an update... you have me hanging by a thread here! Soon I hope? I know I sound like an impatient 5 year old on Christmas Day

[AmberGoddess]

Yay for i hope there is an update!

[sadie]

Ahem ... and *BUMP*

[leonhart17]

Okay, I just found this after it bumped to the top of the board...and it sat open in my browser for days before I actually got started reading it, but that was yesterday morning and I totally do not regret losing sleep to keep reading - I kept promising that I would stop at the end of the chapter, but they always ended so well and left me wanting more so I kept going and now I'm caught up and I have to say that this is an amazing, well written story and I really hope you plan on continuing it!

[MelCar19]

This story needs to be updated imo

[sadie]

imho as well

[vazy]

Oh! Oh! Oh! This story is way to awesome. Its so sweet although, I suspected Oz was going to cheat on Willow with the singer who you said was a girl and I assumed was Veruca. Mr MaClay? Bastard! I love little Donnie though. Will you tell us Willow's name soon? Pretty please? [/center]

[Mrs. Pineapple]

Aaah... I'm again indulging in a bad habit. I bump great stories that haven't been updated for waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long... But I can't help it! This is such a great story. If you're still out there somewhere, please please update this story again! It's too great to just be forgotten. *sigh*

[Suzyque4215]

I read this Story on your sight it's great. Please finish it. And please do something real soon about Tara terrible father. That should not be happening to our wonderful Tara. Also you are a wonderful writer. And I love your website as well keep up the good work.

[jayelle13]

It's um been like 3 years since this was updated and I just found it a few days ago and would love it to continue so please come back and I'll make you funny shaped pancakes

[lwordgirlmsm]

I have been absent for a while but when i came back (this is one of the stories I re-read again) Im a lurker so im getting out of my comfort zone writing this. my main point is that i love this story and would love to see it coming to an end. Your a brilliant writter hope to see you continuing it.

[xenarose11]

Hi. I know this will probably sound really strange, since it's apparently been years since you wrote "Constants".
However, I just got to it, and I just had to say something.
Normally, I refrain from reading stories that weren't finished, because I know the frustration and curiosity might get the best of me. Sometimes, if the summary interests me too much, I go check the last page to see if the story was left in a point which could be considered satisfying (the characters being together, mostly). Then, well, I could see that "Constants" wasn't truly resolved like that. However, reading a few paragraphs, I decided I needed to read it either way. It just seemed too good not to.
And wow. Was I correct. This story has blown my mind. It's so carefully and beautifully written. The Willow/Tara dynamics are perfect. The slow progression of their relationship is precious. And the way you included the other charactes made the story so much richer. They give it more depth, they bring humor, they are great there. And your writing is fantastic. The way you begin each session... wow. You have honestly blown my mind. I'm torn between feeling all fluffy because of Willow and Tara, help with the group of friends they are forming, and devastated and nauseated by Tara's horrible father.
I wanted to give you a thousand kudos for this story. It's one of the best I've ever read. It's truly magical. Thank you, thank you for writing and sharing it. You get me wishing so badly to see it continued, even though I know it's not likely. And I know, life happens. Either wat, thank you for the lovely hours this story has given me. Hope you are well

[Azirahael]

Good story. Well written. Excellent characterisation.

At first i could almost sort of 'get' Mr Maclay.
He did a horrific thing, but he was drunk and confused.

I'm not saying i'd let him off. He still raped his daughter.

But i'd say extenuating circumstances, and only give him 30 years, 15 with good behaviour, and a shitload of counselling.

But now i want him burned alive.
Control freak parents are bad enough, but people who rape their own family, and then act sanctimonious afterwards?

Burned alive. Feet first.

Please finish this story so i can see something terrible happen to him. Like when Faith finds out.

I wouldn't say no to a little Fuffy, either

[Laragh]

We are sad to learn of the recent passing of this author. She contributed endlessly to the KB and Willow/Tara fandom with her own archive, tagging system, fics and through chatrooms.

This fic breaks our FAQ but as her archive is now lost, I want to leave this here out of respect as it may be the only copy online any more.

RIP Jasmydae/Megan, you will be missed.

[shirrey]

thank you Laragh. Rutowski, and GrimCityGirl and I are working hard to find the fics that were on her site and provide links, I am glad tp know where to find Constants . I did not know Megan, but the work she put into her site was much appreciated

[Rutkowski]

And just FYI, there's another mirror at https://www.uberwillowtara.com/constants01.htm but I love that there's at least one backup if the other goes down.

(also my name is spelled Rutkowski, not Rutowski =P)