Fic: Terra Firma

[darkmagicwillow]

I really like how you filled out Giles' past and dispelled ME's overly simplistic magic=drugs idea. I also like seeing Giles being supportive about Willow's problem as he should have been in the first place.



I also came to a realization with this part--Willow needs more than simply Tara returning to return to the kind of person she was before the dark magic. Tara may be the most important part of restoring Willow, but she's not the only one.

--
"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[funkyasian]

that was an amazing update...wow...the speech...giles...willow...oh my god...

[Puff]

Wow Tulipp that was brilliant. I liked all the story about Giles's past and I can see it actually fitting in with a lot of the things that he has said. I am so glad he talked to Willow and I look forward to the next part and finding out how Willow (and Tara) are going to deal with everything Giles said.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[SlayerTazz]

Tulipp - WOW, that was an amazing update. I'm pretty much at a loss for words. I loved the depth that it had and the whole tone it had. Amazing!!

A dream is a wish the heart makes.

Willow: "You had two eggs, sunny-side-up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs."

Tara: "Sassy Eggs."

[Latsric]

Quote:

---

“We’re the same, you and I,” he went on. “And sometimes we have to do the things that others won’t do. That others can’t do. The things that are too hard. I can try to bury it in research, and you can try to hide it with addiction, but it doesn’t work.”



He smiled at her, and the smile was sad and hopeful and knowing. “You and I, Willow,” he said. “We’re sorcerers.”

---

This really got to me for some reason, it just rings so true. I'm so glad that giles and willow have had this talk and it really fits. I never got why Giles reacted to Willow's resurrecting Buffy with such anger...but these parts of his past make it clear. This is the scene between the two of them that should have followed that one on the show...it's what Willow needed to hear. Thanks for sharing this story with us.





-lat-

- I need my obsessions, they keep me sane -

[Sandbox]

Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! and did I mention Excellent?



So many pieces falling into place and hard, simple truths acknowledged. Love the Willow/Giles dynamic... finally someone offering the direction that Willow has so needed.



And I can't say enough about the language and tone of your writing. It makes for such a beautiful read!



*** Trying to contain the gushing, but I'm just so taken with your style ***

[Thanatopsis]

Definitely great. Finally the Giles/Willow talk we should have seen earlier. I especially like Willow's imagination springing up as it did as Giles told the story. His opening up to Willow is definitely gonna help because maybe now she'll see that it's possible and have a better understanding of what needs to be done. Nice tie in with the NY slayer too.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[Miss1234Kitty]

Amazing update. This is the Giles that we should see in the show. Not the one that flies of to England and abandons them, as though Buffy is the only one that means anything to him. (Can you tell I'm slightly bitter?)



I know I've said this before but I just have to say how much I adore your Tara and Willow.



Gem

Tara: There's just so much to work through... and can you just be kissing me now?

[mollyig]

Some wonderful insight into some of Giles' shadier past. I think this is a story that needed to be told by Giles, and heard by Willow. Interesting that Willow could embellish Giles' tale with such description, such was her understanding of it. That Slayer was the one killed by Spike? Did Giles know I wonder. Will you address this further on?



Yet another enthralling episode. I thank you.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Tulipp]

Some responses to your lovely, lovely feedback, which I love! Have I mentioned that?



LeatherQueen: You may have mentioned that before, but I have not got tired of hearing it yet. *s*. As for Giles and his past…it works, doesn’t it? Even if he’s been relentlessly heterosexual every since, I think that his relationship with Ethan colored how he has been able to view life since….And yes, it will be hard for Willow to take all this in. I ended up actually taking some of her reactions out to save for later because it was just too much.



AutumnT: Glad you liked it. Giles comes through in the end. He has kept so much bottled for so long, and that might have some repercussions that last beyond this chapter, but yes. It was time.



Tiggrscorpio: Oh yes, the NY slayer. I couldn’t resist. Giles certainly has responsibility, and it is part of his stubbornness that even after all those lessons learned in the past, he would leave his Slayer alone. Again. And leave Willow alone. Again. Do we spend our lives making the same mistakes over and over again?



Ghostwriter: I’m glad you liked it. I always wanted to know more about G’s past, too. And more will come to the surface, I think….



Darkmagicwillow: You are very right that Tara is an important part of Willow’ s restoration but by no means the only part. And seeing how her character developed over the last few seasons with magic as well as with Tara, I just don’t want to see her stripped of that. In some ways, though, it will be harder for her this way, harder to have to always be tempted and struggle. But she can do it.



Steph: So glad you liked it!



Puff: Thanks. I really have always thought there was a LOT of chemistry between Ethan and Giles. They had a real connection on the show. And there is a lot to deal with, isn’t there? Plus, I don’t want to give anything away, but I don’t think everyone will react to Giles’ realizations the same way….



SlayerTazz: Ooh, depth and tone, my favorites! Thanks so much.



Latsric: I really, really wanted it to fit, so I’m glad that it seems to have worked. Of course, the specific past I’ve given Giles here makes it all the more shocking that he would have left last season, you know? Does he never learn? I’m so glad you liked the end…that was one of my favorite parts.



Sandbox: Thanks. Yes, I am very liberally taking any little piece I can find and shoving them into place. Nothing is safe from my greedy plotting—simple truths and every little thing I can think of. And thanks for saying that about language and tone. I really appreciate that.



Thanatopsis: Oh good. Yes, we know Willow has an active imagination, but of course all those thoughts were happening instantly and instinctively as she was listening. The NY slayer…I just seem to want to take the giant unraveling sweater of BTVS and tie it up tight. Giles’ opening up to Willow will make a huge difference to her, but again, some people spend their whole lives learning the same lessons, and so there must be pebbles in the road ahead….



Miss1234Kitty: I’m so glad you like the T and W I have here. They’re not as lighthearted right now—no babbling, etc.—but this is how I see them right now. And yes, Giles…I’m bitter too.



Mollyig: I had this image of Willow listening and supplying detail and atmosphere, but again, it all would have happened really fast. She was hearing his story emotionally rather than literally, if that makes sense? Really feeling it, identifying both with the Slayer and with Giles. I hope I conveyed that a little bit. As for the NY slayer…Giles had to know, right? He might not necessarily recognize the coat, but he would know. I’m thinking that Giles repressed a heck of a lot of stuff—not just his bisexual past, but lots of associations with that time—and that this repression allowed him to move on. But yes, I think that it will have to come up again. But how? That’s the question.



Thank you all for reading; your responses really make all the difference; they make writing this story worth doing! Thanks.

Edited by: Tulipp at: 7/31/02 10:57:36 am

[oneinten]

Crikey! Tulipp this is awesome! I have definately gotten off this highway and will stop for a good long time! :gin (Btw it's a motorcycle...)



I love how you are protraying these characters. It's neat to read about Giles past and what he's done. I am very anxious to see what Doc will do when he finds out Tara was the one that came back.



Can't wait for more!



kath

[Lusciousbr]

Rupert Giles is indeed a character that always needed a deeper close-up, at least that’s how I see him: always hiding secrets to prevent the worst to happen. And certainly, there’s a strong magic bond between him and Willow, something that was never really explored by the show (I mean, BtVS). But then again Tullip, you gladly surprised me with this last uptade. You forecast the things we can’t see, although they’re right in front of our eyes. Thanks again for this update. I’m a fan u know

[Grimaldi]

great update



loved Giles telling Willow about his past. nice tie-in of the Slayer in NY that Spike killed.

Dude, we're surrounded by perverts!

Cross my heart, smack me dead, stick a lobster on my head.

We'll roll on with our heads held high - The Living End

[Tulipp]

Oneintenp: I just knew it was a motorcycle. So glad you’re liking it. And yes, the last two chapters have been Doc-light, and Scooby-light, but that will be changing. A little action picking up in the next few chapters….



Lusciousbr: I like what you say about looking closely at things we can’t see although they’re right in front of our eyes. One of the things that I always used to love about the show was how much happened on screen that didn’t get captured in dialogue: little looks, suggestions, etc. Thanks for being a fan!



Grimaldi: Thank you. I really couldn’t resist Spike’s second slayer, although as Mollyig pointed out, that may need to come up again. Because Giles would have known in some way.



Thank you all for reading, and thanks for the feedback!

Edited by: Tulipp at: 7/31/02 9:17:58 am

[darkmagicwillow]

As you mentioned taking out some of Willow's reactions in the feedback, I realized something I really like about your writing style. You're able to convey emotions strongly and convey a story without using too many words. I'm always impressed by that, especially as my style tends towards the verbose.



Your descriptions of Willow's nonverbal reactions here really make the story work without the use of more cumbersome internal dialog. I always enjoy internal Willowbabble, but you make her reactions work without all that here and especially in chapter 7 with Willow's confession to Tara. As you mention, there was a lot of that type of reaction on screen and I don't think we see enough of it in fics. In fact, as I've been watching the reruns of past seasons this summer, I've been doing a lot of pausing and rewinding to catch just that kind of detail (and a lot of fastforwarding to skip the parts that don't involve Willow and Tara *G*).



Regarding Doc, your chapter title deceived me. I thought he, or just possibly Ethan given your signature lately, was going to be one of the two sorcerers.

--
"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[Tulipp]

darkmagicwillow ,

Quote:

---

Regarding Doc, your chapter title deceived me. I thought he, or just possibly Ethan given your signature lately, was going to be one of the two sorcerers.

---

Yes, you know, this was originally the idea: multiple pairings of two sorcerers (ethan and giles, ethan and the professor, giles and doc, giles and willow, etc.), and I wonder if this is one case where I actually cut out too much. My first drafts always have a lot of extra stuff in them, lots of description and dialogue that works for me as a kind of placeholder: what is the emotion I'm trying to get to? But then I want to take the placeholder out and have the emotion stay.



So Chapter 8 was originally (in the first version that even my beta Ruby didn't see) a lot busier: multiple pairings of sorcerers all over the place. It felt crowded. But in the end, some of that complexity got lost.



That said, however, Doc is definitely on the horizon here, and he will become important again in the next few chapters. Those pairings....well, they still matter, even if they weren't even really hinted at here....

Edited by: Tulipp at: 7/31/02 9:17:40 am

[MissQuirky]

Wonderful! This was a awesome update!! Learning more info is very good. All the stuff w/ Giles' past, was very interesting. Can't to read more of this amazing fic!

"W-well, I-I was wondering, maybe, you would wanna go out sometime? For coffee ... food ... kisses and gay love?" - Willow (Normal Again)

[darkmagicwillow]

Quote:

---

Yes, you know, this was originally the idea: multiple pairings of two sorcerers (ethan and giles, ethan and the professor, giles and doc, giles and willow, etc.), and I wonder if this is one case where I actually cut out too much. My first drafts always have a lot of extra stuff in them, lots of description and dialogue that works for me as a kind of placeholder: what is the emotion I'm trying to get to? But then I want to take the placeholder out and have the emotion stay.

---

Interesting, you write by removing pieces like making a sculpture. I write more like a painter. I get an idea then I walk around working it different ways in my head until I have a clear picture of the central events and people. I always think best when I'm moving. Then I sketch in a skeletal version of the work with just the major actions and dialog, then adding descriptive details, less important conversation, and occassionally painting over a previous version of an interaction with a new, better one.



Without having read the initial draft, I think you're right that it would have felt crowded with all those interactions. More people would have diverted attention from the essential Willow/Giles conversation. Of course, I am looking forward to seeing more of the other pairings later.

--
"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit. "   "Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost."

[little wicca dude]

hey dude



i loved ure last update, very cool how you went into giles's past coz thats the kinda thing i would have thought he'd have done in his ripper days



cant wait for more



luv jill xx

"did i just say that? did i just say that too?"

My Scooby Page

[KJchicago]

Tulipp - I read this from start to finish. You really did such a great job with Willow's grief. I like the relationship btw her and Dawn.



Also, I am intrigued with the mystery that you are building along with some excellent character development of the Scoobies.



I like the last part and Giles' admissions to Willow. And makes complete sense how you had him explain his relationship with Ethan. Sounded like poor Giles was a bit jealous of the Professor.



Like how you also tied in the demise of the NY slayer. And, Tara is insightful as ever. Cool how you had her come back.

[IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous]

hi Tulipp,

great update! good that Giles told Willow about his past. i was never utterly fond of Giles but you made him do the right thing here.

and now to the harassing: when can we expect the next update? c'mon, we already established it's much better and more fun for you to be online when at work than to actually let yourself be swamped in evil work, writing can be a relief too

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)

[IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous]

sorry for the double post. it's the evil internet connection.

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)

Edited by: IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous at: 7/31/02 11:00:03 am

[Tulipp]

MissQuirky There are still a few pieces of the info puzzle yet to come into play, Giles’ past included. I’m so glad you are reading and liking. Thanks.



Darkmagicwillow: I really love the sculpting and painting metaphors…I never thought of it that way, but it fits. I like the idea of your writing moving…the idea of a paintbrush going back over with broad strokes, then gradually touching in details and occasionally washing over with a new color. I love that. And of course, the idea of chipping away at a big stone Idea works for me. And as for the other pairings, they will definitely be coming back. All of them. And then some.



Jill: Thanks! Yes, I think Giles was probably even more transgressive than we’ve seen. And sadly, I think he probably associated the fun parts of that transgression with the scary demon parts. A shame.



KJChicago: Thanks so much for telling me what you think; I appreciate it. Yes, I have more development of the Scoobies in store…Buffy and Dawn haven’t even made an appearance in the last few chapters. I’m glad that you think G’s relationship with Ethan makes sense; I had a dream last night that I was flamed by an anonymous reader who said “Are you crazy? What about Jenny Calendar and Olivia? Giles would never sleep with a man! You fool!” But maybe that’s more than I should say about my dreamlife… And Professor Berlin…well…I’m just not going to say more. *s*



ISABIG: You are relentless! Five story cake or not (and yum, by the way), I have to work. Oh, um, [Tulipp glances around and realizes that she is sitting in her office surrounded by piles of paper], never mind. As for Giles, did you really never like him? But he’s so ravishing.



Thank you all so much for your feedback!!!

[IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous]

relentless doesn't even cover it

no, i never liked him and after the final episodes of season 6 (his stupid laughing marathon with Buffy) i like him even less, as there was not much likeness to begin with on my part, now it's like not at all. sorry if you find him ravashing...

about the stacks of papers, see if you smoked ... accidents happen and puff = not so many papers anymore.

take care and write much.

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)

[Scailey]

This latest chapter is great - one of my favorites so far. Your story made it into my dreams last night! I've had BtVS-themed dreams before, but I don't think I've ever had one that was so clearly rooted in a fanfic universe. So, just wanted to let you know that your work seems to be reaching me on many levels, including my subconscience.

k.

[xita]

I loved Giles here, he is being what Willow always needed, a mentor. If only you wrote the show. Willow was long ignored but here he makes good points and can actually help Willow a whole lot just by showing her she is not alone. And I really liked what he had to say about having to make the right choice everyday of your life. It really puts the responsibility on herself. excellent.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oooh Xita!" - Amber Benson

[Tulipp]

ISABIG, you're right about the Giles laugh-a-thon; that was really offensive. I miss the old Giles who sang The Who songs in bars. Anyway...we can agree to disagree about his ravishicity....



Scailey, hi! Wow, then this fic made it into two dreams because every time after I post I have flamey nightmares. And not the good kind of flamey but the e-mail kind. I'm glad you liked this one.



And Xita, wouldn't I love, love, love to write the show? I want to recuperate Giles as much as I want to recuperate everything that I miss about BTVS. And that includes a Willow with a sense of responsibility but also with a sense of adventure, you know?



Thanks!

[VampNo12]

Tulipp a very insightful update. I was as riveted as Willow was when Giles shared his "dark" history in this part. Loved how the power of seduction was conveyed ("literally as well as metaphorically"). I always thought Giles/Ethan had a very complex relationship, and your vivid description conveys so well the depth of emotions Giles was experiencing in the past, as well as these feelings carrying over to his present.



I thought it was very significant not only Giles sharing his "dark" past with Willow, but admitting he killed Ben. When Giles was explaining his history with Ethan and the Professor (ie with the incantations), Willow makes an excuse by ("You were tricked."), but what I found significant was Giles replying ("No, I wanted to be tricked. Don't you see... I wanted the black magick, the darkness..... But I didn't want...") With this in mind, Willow makes the connection with replying "The responsibility", and thus, conveys what the true lesson is acting responsible (knowing what lines not to cross).



Giles/Willow have a bond over shared experiences. In the past Giles knows he was remiss for ignoring the problem (in regard to Willow's magick use), and now he wants to remedy the situation by being her mentor. I loved the last exchange with Giles saying ("I can try to bury it research, and you can try to hide it with addiction, but it doesn't work".), this just crystallizes so well that Willow can't hide from the magick (that "itch" Willow feels). Yes it's hard/a struggle, but Willow needs to learn from her mistakes (ie learn to respect/use magick properly). Can't wait for the next part!

[Tulipp]

Good morning!



VampNo12, your response really highlighted a couple of the things I most wanted to convey with this chapter, namely that 1) Giles and Willow have some important parallels, not just with magic use and temptations to darkness, but also with this new (or at least newly uncovered) element of sexuality. I wanted to play with that a little bit, and in light of this, I’ve been really interested in the “some of my best friends are gay” thread on the Kitten.



And 2) is that as I see it here, you are right to say that Willow can’t hide from the magick. It’s not just a temptation anymore, not just an experiment or a way for her to get out of herself. It is part of her now, and rather than suppress that part so ineffectively that it just bounces out of control at an appropriate trigger (Tara’s death, for example), she needs to understand it, to make choices about how she’s using it. I think that’s why Willow responded so much to Rack: it wasn’t just that he was offering her a magick boost but that he was offering her a way to use magic without accepting the consequences. If it was a drug she got from her dealer, then she wasn’t really responsible for what she did with it. And in some ways she learned that lesson quickly in “Wrecked,” but she didn’t understand what it was she had learned until much, much later. She’s just starting to understand it now, in fact, but hearing it from Giles and comprehending it and really understanding it are very different things.



Thanks for your insightful response!

[moominmamma]

I've been watching this story all along; the writing is gorgeous.

So does this mean that Willow finally gets to kick some ass again? I've been missing the tough Willow who sucked Glory's brain for Tara. I know, I know, she's been grieving, but I'm ready for some leather. Just a little? Pretty please?

--Moominmamma