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The Amazing Kitten Race

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The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2 Extra

Postby hidden watson » Tue Mar 08, 2005 7:20 am

A Private Moment, or What really happened under the cherry trees?



They made their decision without needing to consult each other, pick the cherries. The fruits look so enticing, so black, plump and juicy. It was right for them. They were in sync that way.



"Does the clue say anything about picking them off the trees or can we grab the ones already on the ground?" asked Willow.



"Nothing specific. I think we're allowed, it just says gather the fruit," Tara reasoned.



They worked together to pick the fallen cherries from the ground. This filled up at least 20% of the container they were given.



"Not bad," Willow grinned.



"Yeah," Tara concurred.



"Wanna split up with the trees? I'll start that end," Willow said.



"We only have one container, better if we work in the same vicinity so we can both reach it," Tara reasoned.



"How'd you get so smart?" Willow grinned.



Tara was about to say something, probably more spicy than was appropriate, but she thought better. She grinned back.



They worked quickly and efficiently, picking the ripe cherries off the trees. In the process getting purple juice all over their shirts, faces and hands.



"I'm grateful I didn't wear a plain white T-shirt today," Tara joked.



"I like you in plain white T-shirts," Willow breathed, her eyes strayed to Tara's blue, and stubbornly loose-fitting, T-shirt.



"Will, behave, we're Racing," Tara mock-admonished.



"I can think about you and do the challenge, I'm multi-task girl, you know that," Willow smiled.



Tara blushed and dipped her head, returning to work.



After a while Willow tried to check her watch but realized she left it in her backpack.



"Tara?"



"Hmmm?"



"How long do you think we've been doing this?"



"I don't know, may be 20 minutes? But we're nearly finished."



They paused, checked their progress, noted that their container was almost full, and blurted out at the same time, "Wonder how they taste?"



They started giggling, giggles which turned into more throaty laughs. Willow looked pensive for a second and said matter-of-factly, "There's nothing stopping us from trying them."



"Yeah, but we need to think about the task and not waste our effort," Tara answered.



"Just one, please honey," Willow pleaded, accompanied by the cutest pout Tara had ever seen. Nothing could resist cute Willow pout.



All thoughts of Racing vacated her mind all of a sudden. Tara smiled, reached into their container and fed one to Willow, making sure her fingers softly caressed Willow's lips in the process.



Willow accepted the offering, grinned impishly, took another cherry from the container and offered it to Tara.



It was an innocent gesture. Well, the intentions were innocent, at first.



Innocence went out of the window as Tara licked Willow's fingers before wrapping her lips round the fat cherry and biting down, the juices oozing out into Willow's palm and down her arm. Before she was able to wipe it off, Tara had taken her hand and was cleaning the inside of her wrist, lapping the stray juice up.



They felt the heat flare up between them. For months they had been building up to increased closeness, the more time they spent together the more certain in their separate minds this was it, the real thing. Only the sparseness of their visits prevented them from fully admitting and acting on it.



"Hmmm. Mutual fruit feeding. You know what it means, what they say it leads to," Willow whispered.



"No, tell me," Tara purred into Willow's wrist.



Willow's brain, body and other parts were going wild at Tara's sultry tone and her lips still on her wrist.



"I could show you instead," Willow said softly.



Tara stopped the touches she was placing on Willow's wrist and looked up to catch her girlfriend's eye. Eyes that were speaking to her right now in a language that did not require words.



"Yes," she said, even more softly.



They had kissed before, of course. Many pleasurable times. Sometimes a little more than just kissing as hands and lips searched and strayed near places that needed more.



But this one. This particular kiss. The flavor of the cherries still lingered with other tastes, of Tara, of Willow, of a united being. TarWil. WilTar. Rosenberg-Maclay. But at the end it was a coming together that needed no words, no names. It was just them.



And still the kiss continued to consume them, not hurried, it was just ... words were not necessary, but the feelings and the knowledge manifested inside them. Words and feelings like soft, warm and mine echoed clearly in the parts of their minds still able to discern words.



"Do you want another cherry?" Willow hummed into Tara's cheeks. After they came back to the physical plane she was barely able to speak, the question popped out before she knew it.



"I want something better, and I have it," Tara turned, cupped Willow's face in her hands and they blended seamlessly into each other again.



Seconds. Minutes. Moments passed.



A tentative hand reached inside a juice-splattered T-shirt, fingers and palms tracing more warmth up the already warm flesh, this was territory relatively new to them, though not totally unchartered. Another hand reaching round to the small of the back to bring them impossibly closer.



A moan. A shiver. Bodies sliding slightly against each other.



I have you.



A rustle of leaves and the sound of movement in the near distance. Reality stuck its foot inside the private garden of heaven they just created, bringing them down to earth.



The kissing slowed down, but didn't stop.



"Don't stop," Willow implored.



"We have to get the fruit to the judges and, oh god," Tara's sensible words were swallowed by the force of another Willowkiss.



"We should, um, go back to the task," Willow agreed, but she didn't stop, or let her hold on Tara recede.



They were on the verge of forgetting about the task again.



Until Tara took a deep breath and reluctantly pulled herself out of Willow's grip, resting her head on Willow's shoulder, slowing down. Cooling down.



Rational thoughts made their come-back and she suddenly remembered, "Oh god, Will, the camera."



"What of it?" Willow was still in the hazy heaven they just created.



"We didn't check. They could have been here the whole time!" Tara exclaimed, turning her head in her attempt to spot the crew.



"Didn't we agree we won't act differently cos we're on camera? That's one of the first lessons the producers drummed into us," Willow said.



"But, but ... we just gave them an eyeful, more than a whole eyeful," Tara fretted.



"Lucky them, now the whole world can see how lucky I am," Willow smiled. In those split seconds she made up her mind, Tara was hers and from now on, no more hiding, denying, pretending. She wasn't afraid of people knowing about them. Not anymore.



But what about Tara? With a start she realized to take that step in their relationship needed both of them to agree. And Tara hadn't, in fact Tara wasn't reacting well to her rash declaration that bordered on glib. How much more inconsiderate was she going to get?



She made a decision about their relationship, a big decision, without Tara's consent. That wasn't right. She can't do that again, if she wanted to be with Tara for the eternity she wanted.



She froze and frowned.



"Sweetie?" asked Tara, who had immediately detected Willow's change in demeanor. She had an inkling it was her reaction, or rather, her non-reaction to Willow's comment about how lucky she was, and how she wanted the world to know. And she reacted just like the girl pre-conditioned to think of romance as somewhat superfluous and frivolous; and where coming out of the closet meant a virtual social death and becoming persona ex communicata.



But she had to get out of that frame of mind. Coming on the Race with Willow, opening herself to the world at large, confronting her own deepest fears and reservations, that was her aim.



"I'm sorry, Tara, I spoke out of turn," Willow apologized. "We should have been more careful, but ... but there was you with the fruit feeding and the licking and I can't help myself ..." she trailed off.



Tara smiled a half-smile.



"You're right, Will. We shouldn't censor what we do, we're not doing anything wrong," she re-assured. "But we really need to get back to the task."



"Do we have to? Now?"



"Yes honey, we're here to win the Race, aren't we?"



Sigh. "Okay."



They retrieved their full container and exited the cherry orchard hand in hand, but not before placing another kiss solidly on each other's swollen cherry lips.



What of the cameras? Let them see.




*****

------

quiet thoughts

hidden watson
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2 Extra

Postby Irene73 » Tue Mar 08, 2005 12:07 pm

Madame Watson:wave



So...they stay hidden? Hence your Username. Well I like female parts...they make me feel giddy inside...he he!:blush



How do you do it? I am so loving this.:laugh

I can see how it can be difficult to not only think of destinations, challenges, roadblocks, detours, fast fowards, etc., but then you go and make us laugh hysterically with your WITTY comments about the participants...ANNNNNND...on top of that you add in the racers attitudes, mannerisms, foibles, and well in general their personalities. Bravo:bow I KNEW THAT YOU COULD!!!:laugh



And as of right now, I am heading to the nearest nursery to find a Cherry Tree of my very own...I don't know if I live in the type of environment where one can grow...but damn it...I will try...KISSABLE CHERRY FLAVORED LIPS my new mantra!!:kiss



MEMORABLE QUOTES...that made my day:



"His cheekbones almost puncturing a hole on my screen"...classic:rofl



"Psychedilic outfits"...I'm sure Tara had something to do with the choosing of said attire.:crazy :wtkiss



"Oz and Adam get clue, drive off...they say nothing"...:lmao



"Lovebirds go for the cherries"...did we expect anything less?:laugh



Regarding Adam and Oz "Will they show enough emotion to help out in my recap?"...you have to ask:lmao :rofl :lol



Thank you for a great fic...now if only I can get my S.M.U.T Bunny Badge avatars to show under my user name I'll be a happier gal...



UPDATEY GOODNESS SOON?



Saluting you while holding up a glass of H2O,

Irene...Hot Tamale

AHOOWHA!!!



Side note: The principles have to go. Hey do you think they'll be taking a trip to Mexico? Just a suggesstion...when I was 10 my parents and grandparents took us to the state of Jalisco, Mexico. In that city there is a famous church called "El Santo Nino de Atoche" which is really Jesus as a young boy. Anywhoo...Mexican Catholics, especially...when faced with a difficult time in their life (illness, hardship, whatever)...pray to the Santo Nino and ask for Help...I guess, for whatever it is their going through, and make thier lives better. Now when they pray to the Santo Nino, they also vow to take a pilgramage to Jalisco, Mexico and pay a visit to the church their. Once there...they kneel outside on the pavment in front of the church, and proceed to walk on their knees to the inside of the church and in front of the altar to say a Rosary. Well...my suggesstion would be...one of their tasks would be to find the church...do the kneel walking to the Altar where they will recieve their next clue. Believe me, I saw people doing that and I still cringe. My mother has taken many a trip to this church ever since she found out that I no longer resided in the closet. Her knees must be really sore. Viva la community of cherry tree lovers!!:crazy

Sorry for the long reply...I do believe it my longest yet.:kgeek :pride

Later Homey :bigwave

Edited by: Irene73 at: 3/8/05 11:17 am
Irene73
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2 Extra

Postby meretricious » Wed Mar 09, 2005 6:34 am

watson, took me a while to get here, long updates are awesome but i wanted to wait til i had time to really read and not skim. gawd, but this is a fun read! between you and debra i could almost be willing to give reality tv a try, but then i think what makes these fics so great (besides the writing) is our familiarity with your cast, and what little reality tv i've seen, they aren't people i want to get to know.

if i started quoting favorite parts i'd be here all day, amazing how with just a sentence or 2 on each pair you get so much across, and so perfectly. as for rooting value, have to agree with debra that robin and faith are easy on the eyes. also enjoying tall/short i'm not sure why, adam is just such a novel character i guess. also have a weakness for lorne, he's just so damn likeable that i want him to do better. have to believe the principals will weed themselves out soon, likewise the moms, although would be nice to see them keep representing the older set for a while.

as far as the extra material fruit feeding, well all i can say is i ordered a cherry scone with my latte this morning cause i couldn't pass it up. didn't come close to enjoying as much as they did though (which i guess is good, don't want to scare my coworkers).

also bonus points for your links to these locations, gives the whole enterprise an extra layer that i probably wouldn't have missed if you hadn't done it, but now i really look forward to. fabulous that you've been so many places, makes you uniquely qualified to take this on.(if you start running short on locations, there are a couple of islands in nova scotia that hang off into the bay of fundy and are only accessible by ferry-seems remote enough).

almost wish i'd waited longer to read this, because i want more now! i'm never demanding in the feedback, don't want to pressure authors when i'm too lazy to even try writing, but i'm making an exception here-want instant gratification, willing to beg if neccesary~mary

you're dangerous, 'cause you're honest
you're dangerous, you don't know what you are U2

Edited by: meretricious at: 3/9/05 2:35 pm
meretricious
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2

Postby JustSkipIt » Wed Mar 09, 2005 6:38 am

Hey there,

Well did the site admin and my partner read? Probably not yet but my partner did ask me what's happening in Common Areas so I'd take that as a real compliment.



Again hysterical. And can't be unhappy to see B&G gone. Now if AAbot & Actors would just disapear too... That would make things so much more interesting (or at least less confusing). Not to say that your writing is confusing: the AR format is confusing with so many teams. The W/T parts are fantastic. Like the extra with the whole "coming out!" (I hear a choir singing) part. Very very well done and nicely glib.



As far as rooting: Defiintely the Marathoners. Why: because I love Faith and if you think Phil is yummy, you aren't really looking closely at Robin--mega hunk! After them: Pirates because... Xander's a pirate! Can't root for Goldies because 1/2 of Goldies=Riley. Urghh!



Well done!

"Most editors are failed writers--but so are most writers." - Thomas Stearns Eliot

"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there." - Chare Booth Luce

My latest story: Survivor - Ash Island

JustSkipIt
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2 Extra

Postby amazonaa » Wed Mar 09, 2005 3:21 pm

Mmmm. Glad ot was cherries instead of strawberries. And loved every minute of the story even if it kept me up 'till eleven.



Great job. More soon, please.





brittney





~Good friends help you move. Real friends help you move the body.~

amazonaa
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2 Extra

Postby cygnet 6 » Mon Mar 14, 2005 5:36 pm

Another great episode. The task with the Canterbury tales questions was very well done. I wish they did that kind of thing more frequently on TAR—make the Racers figure out a clue instead of just running around from here to there as fast as possible. And, the detour was great, too, especially the Willow and Tara “Private Moment” you added in the extra.



I loved the Heave reference—very TWoP-ish. (Can we also expect some Bald-Snarking of detours or perhaps a guest appearance by the Amazing Exposition Hands?)



Also, I checked out the links—the Catacombs were very, very creepy. They definitely will not be added to the list of places I want to go.

cygnet 6
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2 Extra

Postby mollyig » Wed Mar 16, 2005 6:50 am

I've never seen TAR, but your detailed description of its format has given me an idea of what it entails. As others have said, some of the pairings are an inspired choice, especially Flutie and Snyder. The cynicism of the narrator is extremely amusing.



Willow's journal was an interesting read, despite the uncertainty about what the future holds for her and Tara, she almost unconsciously believes it will work out, when she says "I'm going to add England to the places we have to come back to visit."



Faith's reasons for why the alliance between the YDCs is well reasoned, but how long will it last, me wonders. There are some ultra-competitive egos in that group.



The more detailed expose of what happened when our girls were, ahem, picking cherries, was delicious. The line "It was just them.", delightful.



Thanks!


You stay the course, you hold the line, you keep it all together.

You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
- Sarah McLachlan

mollyig
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 2

Postby tarawhipped » Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:52 am

Hooray for another thrilling update, Watson. You write the tension so well, about a third of the way through I actually had to jump down to the end to find out who lost and then go back and read in slightly less frantic manner. Now that they've left england, it'll be interesting to see if anyone else has a geographical advantage a la Rupert and Randy.*snicker* Perhaps Lorne and Cordy's fashion sense and ability to schmooze will prove useful somewhere? I hope so, since even though you haven't spent much time on them, the idea of them as a team makes them my second fave, though I have doubts that their combined skills will save them for long (feel free to surprise me!). Still lovin' the extras, now with new and improved orchard-fresh smoochies! Woohoo!



:p -Cam



What should I be but just what I am? - Edna St.Vincent Millay

tarawhipped
 


The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby hidden watson » Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:28 am

Title: The Amazing Kitten Race

Author: watson (hiddenwatson@yahoo.com)

Distribution: this is for Pens, if you want to archive it elsewhere, please let me know me first

Rating: Episodes are PG-13, Recaps and Extras are R or more

Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The Amazing Race belongs to CBS, Amazing Race Productions Inc, Touchstone Television Productions Inc, Jerry Bruckheimer Productions and others.

Summary: The Amazing Race Crossover. It's a race around the world. Who will be Eliminated? Who will win $1 million?





Episode 3 - My knees don't ache in Nice



Here we are, in Paris, arguably the most romantic city in the world. The City of Lights. Of Love. Romance. And crazy drivers around the Place de la Concorde. [bomp]



I wonder how much love there is and how much love lost among our racers, who we see eating, sleeping and mingling at their mandatory 12 hour Pitstop. Do they get snails? Stinky cheese? More wine than they should drink? There's even a shot of them taking a little tour around town, temporarily shredding their racer mantle for that of ugly American tourists. I pity the poor French.



11.17pm. Xander & Anya rips open the clue, which tells them to go to the Centre Pompidou and find the Dionysiac Exhibition. They have to search through the exhibits for the exhibit that matches a postcard enclosed in the envelope. They run off. Anya interviews that she's very intense and competitive but sometimes Xander is too relaxed [read: clueless]. It's been challenging, trying to run the race and not piss each other off.



11.36pm Adam & Oz. They realize the exhibition most likely is closed at that hour. Their disappointment at the bunching is obvious even on their normally impassioned exterior. "This is not a good situation, teams bunched together, it makes the race hard to run," Adam says, he has a nice voice, he should speak more.



11.45pm. Lorne & Cordy and Willow & Tara leave at the same time. "The girls are a-go!" exclaims Lorne in a girly squeal. He's really as sissy as they come, yet I can't help liking him. True, I mock him endlessly, but he's the kind of older sister who you can go to with your problems, like, anytime, and he'll give you sisterly lovin' and advice. I want an older sister like Lorne.



The Lovebirds are wearing yet another concoction of ... I search desperately for words but can only come up with something that makes me cross-eyed. I learnt a new word today at work, relating to VisualBasic in Excel of all things, that VB code is all rojak (the mixed-up Malaysian salad), and that is exactly what I think of the Lovebirds' outfits. I seriously consider sending an urgent SOS out to Carson Kressley.



12.04am. Snyder & Flutie count out the money they have for this leg. $442. The principals are congratulating themselves, or rather, Snyder is doing some smug psuedo-analysis of their position while Flutie looks on blankly. Flutie's blank expression is getting on my nerves, is that how he acts at school? Smug Snyder (hey! I made an alliteration!) drones on about how they jumped from the bottom third to the top half and if they continue like this, they should do well. Okay Principal Snyder, I hate to break it to you, but you're only at Leg 3 of the race, there's a hell of a long way to go yet.



12.13am. Joyce & Sheila, wrapped in designer headscarves and bright puffy jackets, depart. Did they, like, manage to go shopping during the Pitstop? Cos those scarves? Look awfully new to me. But then what do I know about designer accessories? I pronounce Hèrmes like it rhymes with herpes, for crying out loud.



12.56am. Faith & Robin rip the clue, read the clue, and jog off efficiently. If I haven't already changed their nickname once already, I'd be inclined to call them Team Efficiency. They do seem to be self-sufficient and strong racers. Their only problem is they don't have a lot of personality. Robin voices over that he is very happy with how they did the previous leg, they were in front, and were ambushed by bunching at the Catacombs, that's all. Faith adds that after the race, they really have to decide on what to do next about their relationship, they're at a point where something needs to happen, though she doesn't say what. I wonder too.



1.09am. Rupert & Randy step up. Wow. The displaced backpacks really took a chunk of time out of those teams. Rupert looks at the postcard and wonders if the exhibition has anything to do with the Greek god Dionysius. I'm impressed, he really is as cultured as he seems, although I can't quite forget his declaration at the beginning of the race that he is not as mild-mannered as people think. Randy wastes space again.



1.29am. April & Andrew, looking bleary-eyed. Already? If that's what they look like after 2 legs I wonder what my eyes will have to endure when Killer Fatigue kickes in. April interviews that she and Andrew can be wishy-washy and they know they have to be more aggressive to get themselves out of the bottom three. "We're not as physically strong as Faith & Robin, or have the travel experience of Rupert, but we are on par with the likes of Willow & Tara or Joyce & Sheila, as long as we stay in the Race, with some luck we'll be in the final three." So April, you're relying on luck to get you to the final three, interesting. Unlike the other teams who are likely to rely on, um, strength, mental agility or a good strategy. Go team AAbot!



1.55am. Buffy & Riley. "We don't like being last, we're not used to it," Buffy states. Ah, but you are right now, Miss Goldie. Riley adds that they need to change their tactics, with the amount of bunching that's gone on so far, they need to start using the other teams' weaknesses against them. Just what those weaknesses are, Golden Farmboy is strangely silent on.



Teams arrive at Centre Pompidou. Not surprisingly, it's closed. Honestly, this bunching business is getting worse.



~~~~~



9am. The sight of 20 people in catalog-leisure outfits and bulging backpacks rushing through a renowned art museum is not one I'd like to see again any time soon. They trample from room to room, brandishing a postcard in front of them like it's a homing beacon. Yeah right.



A triumphant shout from Riley signals that he has sighted the treasure. I spy a rather disgusted frown on the face of a guard, man, doesn't Farmboy know he has to stay quiet in a museum? Didn't his Mom take him to one when he was young? Probably not.



The clue tells them to go to one of three marked souvenir shops outside the Pompidou and purchase a postcard of the Liseuse à la table jeune by Henri Matisse, which they will need at a later stage of this leg. Okay, make a note of the last sentence, will ya?



Easier than it sounds, because none of the teams, not even Professor Rupert, have a clue what this Liseuse à la table jeune looks like. Sheila, who claims to know a little French, speculates it's a painting of a girl called Liseuse sitting at a yellow table.



Hang on a minute. Doesn't jeune mean young person? Isn't jaune yellow? This ain't Wheel of Fortune Sheila, you can't just buy a vowel, any vowel. Vowels matter, dammit!



Teams disperse into the shops. I actually think this is one of those tasks that is more deceptive than it sounds. If they have no idea what to look for, they're gonna have to flip through hundreds, even thousands of cards to find the right one. The producers are being sneaky. I like.



We spot Willow and Tara whispering conspirationally before running off towards a coffee shop nearby. Do they need a caffeine injection? Or the little girls' room? Our intrepid Cameraman follows. Once they get there, Willow throws her backpack on the floor and zooms towards a free PC terminal. Ahhhh, I get it. I wonder if it's a stroke of genius or if it's going to waste valuable time.



Tara explains while Willow activates the computer, that they think it'll be quicker if they know what they're looking for and Willow thinks the painting is easy to find on the web.



While Tara speaks she's already interrupted by Willow who waves her over to look at a picture of a watercolor painting with blue background and, now I 'm confused! A girl sitting at a yellow table.



"While we were waiting for the Pompidou to open we came here for a coffee and I had a little play on the machines, I can't help it, I can't pass a computer terminal without touching it," Willow grins at the interview. "I knew it'll only take a minute to google that image and if we know what it looks like it'll make searching so much quicker."



"You didn't get it first time, though," Tara teases.



"Yeah, I searched for 'matisse liseuse' but got multiple images then I searched for 'matisse liseuse table' and I got it," Willow beams. She pronounces table properly in French. Tara beams back. In my mind they smooch, or at least exchange a small peck. Come on, CBS, I want to see Lovebirds doing the kissy thing, otherwise I'm ... I'm ... I don't know what I can do to make a difference, but thinking about it, yeah, I'm sending 'give us Lovebirds smooches' vibes right this second.



They run to a shop and join in the search. Joyce asks them if they're alright and they hem and haw and mumble something about needing the bathroom. I understand their embarrassment about lying, but this is a RAAACE! I'll have no qualms doing the same, am I a bad person now?



Meanwhile in another shop a few doors down, April, Andrew, Xander, Anya, Buffy, Riley, Lorne and Cordy are on all fours playing Twister. No, seriously they're sifting through a carpet of postcards spread all over the floor. When I say spread I mean spread, the entire floor is full of these 7x5 cards, there's a whole mountain of them.



They're not doing very well, not having a clue what they're looking for. And attracting the wrath of the shopkeeper, obviously not keen that his merchandise is being trampled all over his floor like that. He yells, first at Anya, who gives him a dirty look, then at April who hides behind Andrew. It's Andrew who eventually has to take the flak.



"That guy was screaming at me and making all sorts of obscene gestures. Kinda glad I don't know French, but it was a hostile situation," he voice-overs.



"I think we atom-bombed his shop, it's like the aftermath of Helm's Deep," he says back at the warzone.



Elsewhere at the Moms / Lovebirds / TallShort shop, the googling pays off as we see Willow and Tara searching with more purpose. They find it first, flips over the card to check the description and rushes off to the cashier who give them a clue. The other 2 teams strain to catch a glimpse.



"I think I saw some dark sky blue on the card, and it doesn't seem like it's an oil," says Sheila. From the mouth of the person who thinks yellow is young, I'm not convinced.



In the third shop, Randy furiously looks through the stacks and lets out a whoop! when he finds it. He shows it to Rupert, at that moment, father and son huddled together, the similarity is so apparent.



In a move that I think is unnecessary and too generous, they show their postcard to the other two teams before getting their clue.



They are to travel by TGV to Lyon, where they are to find the Parc Albigny.



Helped by the Professor's clue, Team Efficiency (formerly known as Marathoners, formerly known as Workout Duo) finds the postcard but before running off, give the Principals a quick "good luck!". It's a small gesture, but I like it.



The Pirates find the card next, and in a move completely opposite to that in the other shop, shifts to the cashier sneakily and leaves without speaking to the other teams. The other teams, however, are too busy a) with the postcards all over the floor and b) trying to ignore the evil eye of the storeowner, they don't notice the maneuver.



We see the Lovebirds buying tickets at Gare de Lyon, where trains go to, duh I'll never guess it, Lyon. They settle into their seats happily.



R.Randy, Team Efficiency and the Pirates manage to catch the same train as them. Anya helpfully expositions that trains depart every hour on the hour, so they have a small lead.



The second group gathers at Gare de Lyon, watching a departing train, though it looks nothing like the one the first group got on. Don't try to con me, Amazing Editors.



~~~~~



Two Amazing Yellow lines show us the progress. The first group arrives at Lyon and jump into taxis.



The Parc Albigny City Aventure is an adventure park set in a forest, with beautiful views in the background. Rope bridges, slides, nets, swings, the works. My nieces and nephews will love the place. In fact, I want to try it out myself.



In a milder version of a Fear Factor stunt, teams negotiate the obstacle course and deposit ten miniature red and yellow flags on marked posts along the way.



Team Efficiency get a great headstart and quickly move into the lead, Robin and Faith chaneling Tarzan as they fly through the bridges, rope swings and balance beams. This is the sort of physical task that suits them, and it shows. They open the next clue, which tells them to take a train to Nice and find the Musée Matisse.



Randy scampers through the course, and even Rupert makes steady progress. No one has any trouble going through the course, except for a heart-stopping moment when Anya loses her footing. Three pairs of hands reached out to grab her in a display of camaraderie and they all finish within a short time of each other.



Team Efficiency arrive at the train station and hop onto another TGV. The pursuing 3 teams also arrive and head straight to the ticket booth. Tara and Willow again show their intellect by checking on the timetable first. They share the information with the other teams, that they should take the express that leaves a few minutes later but arrives at Nice 3 hours earlier.



"We figured the museum will be closed by the time we reach Nice. Everyone will be equal again, so why not work together, get there early and have some rest?" Tara explains. I cannot believe it, more fucking bunching. Even the racers are becoming conditioned to accepting it.



The second cluster of racers arrive at City Aventure and gear up. The atmosphere is more tense and the competition more pronounced, there's a degree of pushing and may be an elbow or two along the planks and steps, which tend to be one person wide. Adam and Riley, have a big advantage and they get ahead quickly, leaving the trailing pack in a, um, pack.



Things get nastier and soon there's a shove-off between Joyce, Andrew, Snyder (boy why am I not surprised his royal pain in the butt is in the thick of a catfight?) and Buffy. There's obstructing. There's squashing. Tripping. Yelling. And screeching. Oh my ears, screeching.



They're all trying to climb up a netting onto a platform that is the launching pad for a rope swing. Now that platform can hold two, may be three people at a push, it wasn't designed for seven, eight people. A sickening creak, then a sharp crack, and the platform's gone in a spectacular collapse. There was dust and wood splinters everywhere. And with it the not so proud of themselves racers, who find themselves in an undignified heap. All rojak. [See? I can use new words.] They have safety harnesses, so the only thing hurt is their pride and composure. As if I care. Snerk.



In a completely priceless development, they're told they have to start again! On another course, from the beginning! How sweet! The cacophony of protests can be heard all the way in China, between April's screeching, Snyder's yelling and Cordy's foot stamping, for a moment there I fear for the life of the official who tells them the course is no longer safe.



"Part of the course crashed to the ground, and they wanted us to move to another course, cos we couldn't continue. But we have to start from the beginning, and we think it's unfair, so some of us have gone over to argue with the officials, it's not fair," April whines. She's probably one of those people at high school who whines that homework is unfair, life is unfair, little whiny girl.



More arguing in both languages, neither party willing to listen. Haven't they ever heard of listening to the other party and trying to work out a compromise? Guess they never went to negotiating skills training.



"Eventually a Race official intervened and we could start halfway round the new course. But with all the time wasted arguing we could have just started at the beginning," a dejected looking Buffy comments at the end of the course, where Adam and Riley have been patiently waiting, having avoided the altercation. The stragglers arrive and they drag themselves to the train station.



~~~~~



Beautiful shot of Nice, with glamorous models displaying their wares on beaches in contrast to the children running along the cobbled streets of the old town. Do you know the beach at Nice is made of very large and very uncomfortable pebbles?! It'll take billions of years before they become sand, I thought a beach as famous as Nice will have sand, but no. Nothing like that. Very disappointing.



The second group arrives, to find the Musée closed and the first group camped outside.



Teams decide to explore the town, enjoy the nightlife. On the forum someone worked out that they arrive around 8pm, so basically have the whole night of hanging around, courtesy of stupid bunching. The YDCs take off, trying to shake off their stalkers, aka the Amazing Cameramen. No prizes for guessing what they have in mind :). I send more hate vibes CBS' way, for yet again robbing me of the sight of Lovebirds snogging.



Lorne & Cordy browse around the night market, Lorne is singing this ridiculous ditty he obviously just made up:



Oh it's nice to be in Nice,

Be nicely neat in Nice.

My knees don't ache;

My niece knits and kneads;

Oh it's nice to be in Nice.




He has a nice voice, but, "my knees don't ache, my niece knits and kneads"? Please. Kill. me. now.



"If I had to choose which city to have an enforced layover Nice will be high on my list, I've always wanted to be part of the jetset and rub shoulders with the rich and famous," says Cordy. And we cut immediately to a shot of Cordy with ice-cream split all over her front and looking anything but jetset-y. Be careful of what you wish for, sister.



Elsewhere the older teams gather at a café at the square; sipping coffee. "We didn't want to overspend, but it was a golden opportunity to rest for a while, and we get to people watch too," says Joyce.



Xander & Anya walk along the promenade, right where Cordy's rich and famous hang out. It's not lovey-dovey though. Xander comments on the fur-clad ladies and men in penguin suits entering the casino. He suggests they go in and have a look, but is taken aback at Anya's reaction.



"I'm not going to the casino, why do you want to go gambling again? I want to go shopping and sit outside at the coffee shops and pretend I'm a minor European royalty. You're getting as stupid and stubborn as your father, Xander. And no matter what you say, I'm still not sharing the prize with him."



"You leave my old man out of this," Xander retorts as he stomps off.



Uh-oh. Trouble.



Which seems to continue into the morning, teams run through the Musée entrance to get the clue. It's a Roadblock, where they take the postcard they bought in Paris (seems eons ago), find the real painting, and put in the slots with their names on to exchange for the next clue. So far, Roadblocks have been drive a motorboat through canals, shop for groceries and now a Search and Locate. I wish the Amazing Producers have better imagination, but I'm happy that they haven't been the usual heavy lifting.



In an almost repeat of the dash through the Pompidou, now we have mad Americans invading another part of France. Ooo la la, the poor French.



In order of who finds the clue first: Buffy, Adam, Faith, Tara, Anya, Rupert, Flutie, Joyce and Andrew. Spot the missing person. No? Try again. Yes? No? Still too many of them all rojak?



Give you a clue. My knees don't ache in Nice.



It's Lorne & Cordy. And they're searching frantically, but not in the Musée. They look pale, in shock and on the verge of tears. It's not the same two people who were singing that stupid song last night, or the wannabe glam queen getting strawberry ice cream all over her white T-shirt. This is the look of a team who has lost their postcard.



They turn everything out on the ground and I can see Cordy's hands shaking almost uncontrollably. They don't have the postcard. They know they need the postcard. Sometimes if you miss a task you can go back and re-do it, you lose the time you spend, but you're on the right track again. But how are they supposed to go back to Paris and buy another card?



They talk about it, and the conversation is reminiscent of Lena & Kristy at the haybales. "We can't give up now." "They'll give us a time penalty." "May be it's a non-elim." I'm sad.



Cordy sucks it up for her team, goes in and retrieves the clue. I cross my fingers and toes.



~~~~~



It's a detour, the choices are Five-a-piece Socca or Five-a-side Soccer. Hahaha! My smile grows broader as yummy Phil comes onscreen to explain that socca is a traditional soft bread made from chickpea flour that is baked in a wood oven. Soccer is better known as football in these parts (in fact, anywhere outside the American continent) and generally not played by high school girls.



Teams have to choose between helping a local chef make 5 pieces of socca or participating in a 5-a-side soccer match and scoring 5 goals. Alright, this isn't an obvious Tortoise/Hare task, playing ball seems to have a slight edge for the physical teams.



And that's how it splits up roughly. Goldies, TallShort, Efficiency and R.Randy go off to the field of dreams. I didn't expect Rupert to be in that group. "I played football, as the English calls it, when I lived in England. Weekends at my local park, but it's the pub-crawl afterwards that we all looked forward to," he explains.



Team Efficiency reaches the soccer stadium and joins the first team. Boy these soccer players mean business, they're not some weekend junior league, they have skillz mon, I think they're all trying to be the next Zidane. Faith taps in their first goal and does the traditional celebratory gig of dancing around the corner flag. Okay, does anyone just go to a scary visual place? Cos, Faith, in a tight T-shirt slightly damp with perspiration, gyrating her well trained parts around a narrow pole-like object? Drool and a half. I want to strangle Robin so I can take his place in Faith's world, sigh, I'm sick, I know.



The Goldies are on the other team and Riley shows some skills as he dribbles past a couple of defenders. Buffy, in acres of space, waves to him to pass but he wants the glory for himself. He shoots! The shot is deflected. Selfish, selfish Riley.



The match is fascinating, in a mindless entertainment kind of way. Team Efficiency efficiently [*groan*] puts away their fifth goal and they high five each other. Lots of fives here. They are replaced by TallShort, while the Goldies are still on the pitch. R.Randy wait at the sidelines, Randy does stretches and running on the spot to make you think he's an athlete.



Robin reads out the clue, they are to travel to the Ephrussi de Rothschild (or Villa Ile de France) at Saint Jean Cap Ferrat, the Pitstop for this leg of the race. My goodness, Phil's making his introduction at the most magnificent mansion I've ever seen. The pink belle epoch exterior overlooks perfect gardens on one side, and perfect blue Mediterranean coastline on the other. Phil explains that this is his vacation home and we're all welcome to spend our summers there. Yeah, in my dreams. The mansion was built in 1905 by Baroness Ephrussi de Rothschild as her personal folly inspired by the great Renaissance palaces of Venice and Florence. This, my friends, is luxury to the utmost extent.



Meanwhile at the socca restaurant, flour spills everywhere, at least there's no fishy smell for Anya to complain about. It's actually quite easy, mixing an oil and water mixture into flour then pouring the batter into the baking tins for 5 minutes. Xander and Andrew start a flour fight and they're joined by a Willow wearing an absolutely sparkly grin. Nice to see the young people having fun, but ... RAAACE!



There are so many teams that they have to line up for oven space, causing some minor pushing, shoving and exchange of nasty words between those not currently engaged in a flour fight. Shut up, Snyder. Stop with the screeching, April.



The Moms and Tara and Anya finish first. I'm like, I totally hate stereotyping, but it just shows who has the best cooking skills. Joyce waves goodbye to the others as she and Sheila leave in a taxi to the Pitstop.



Lovebirds and Pirates soon finish and they're on their way to the more luxury than they'd ever imagine.



At the soccer field Riley finally gets a goal, making the five the Goldies need. R.Randy make their way onto the killing, er playing, fields and straightaway Randy concedes an own goal. Rupert gamely encourages him while in his mind he's got Randy strung up on one of the goalposts while the Zidane wannabes take pot shots at him at close range. I'm sick, you should know this by now.



Back at the socca place the Actors finish. But they don't look so good, I think the postcard Roadblock is still on their minds. I'm sad again.



TallShort get their fifth goal. They're off.



At the Heavenly Mansion of Decadence, Faith & Robin arrive. Congratulations, you're team number one. They high five and Faith comes up with this really awesome smile, Robin hugs her close and looks superhot. They high five more when Phil tells them they've won a vacation to the Caribbean. Woo-hoo!



Joyce & Sheila arrive, they're team number two. Like us, they're in absolute awe of the mansion. They interview that they're proud of how they've done so far. "We haven't let the younger and stronger teams intimate us, we're like the Moms but when it comes to the wire, we're no wimps," says Sheila.



Willow & Tara arrive, they're team number three. They're here cos they were very smart, first with googling the picture, then with checking the train timetables. But I sulk cos I don't get my Lovebird smoochies yet again. How many more episodes are they going to make me wait? Wahhh!



Xander & Anya arrive, welcome bickering team number four. They interview that they know they need to start communicating with each other and act more like a team.



Elsewhere at the soccer fields Rupert, bless his fifty-odd year old heart, gets the fifth goal. Soccer camp wraps up.



AAbot and the Principals get their last piece of socca out of the oven and get their clue. Andrew glances back at the table and grabs a piece of the bread, the chefs look on in pity.



Back at my pretend vacation home, Buffy & Riley do a little hop together onto the Amazing Bathmat. Phil's eyebrow twitch a centimeter as he informs them that they're team number five.



Lorne & Cordy arrive. They are the sixth team to arrive, but Phil laments that they're not team number six. Because they misplaced the postcard which forms part of the clue, they will receive a time penalty. Normally time penalty for not obeying the instructions on a task is equivalent to the time gained and skipping a task totally means a 24 hour penalty (remember Momily?), but that's not the same. Phil says this is the first time this has happened (may be cos it's the first time they used part of one clue on another task), and they will receive a 4 hour penalty for losing the clue. They smile thinly, the smile of the condemned, as Phil tells them to wait to see how the rest of the teams do.



Adam & Oz arrive, they're given the title of team number six. Rupert & Randy is just behind them and they're team number seven.



The atmosphere is like a hospital waiting room where everyone is waiting for bad news. This is torture for the Actors, and for me. I don't think it's humane to force them to stand there waiting for the chop, I'm sad.



Snyder & Flutie arrive, yeah, team number eight. April & Andrew, team number nine.



Then Phil asks Lorne & Cordy to step up, and they're philminated.



Yes, they should have been more careful, and have no one to blame but themselves. Part of racing and traveling in such haste around the world involve taking care of your belongings. I'm still sad at their elimination, I like this quirky team and I wish I have more chance to get to know them.



At least they gave us an amusing song. Knees don't ache in Nice indeed. Thank you, Actors.





*****





Teaser for Episode 4



Shot of a sign at a gas station that states clearly "Diesel".



Teams puzzling over a small euro coin.



Trouble at the border. "Can't treat us like that, we're Americans," Riley protests.



"Honey, I think we have the wrong castle," says Tara.





*****





Useful links & information



Picture of Liseuse à la table jeune, the one Willow googled

Musée Matisse

Ephrussi de Rothschild

Lyon City Adventure



rojak recipe - in Malay "rojak" means a mixture

socca recipe



*****

------

quiet thoughts

Edited by: hidden watson at: 3/20/05 7:54 am
hidden watson
 


Replies for Episode 2

Postby hidden watson » Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:24 am

Chris - no worries, I myself am still getting used to this format, it's my first time writing about such a big cast too. The fun part is, coming up with the route and the tasks with my Amazing Producer hat on, then totally dissing it in the recap, it's positively schizophrenic and actually a great leveler. :)
Quote:
I notice watson-the-recapper is taking something of a liking to the Lovebirds and their lovebirdy activities
Oh yeah, recappers are allowed to have favorites (Miss Alli and her Kevin/Drew fetish for instance) and watson the recapper is firmly on the Lovebirds lovetrain. In fact, much more so next episode.



Hot Tamale Irene - I love your long reply, please continue! wow, so many adjectives at once, makes me blush frantically already :blush es The great thing about writing my own episode then recapping it is that I can be totally brutal to myself. Like I planned for the bunching, then as a recapper I complain about how stupid it is. It's great fun, I tell ya. I'll try try try to update as soon as I can, this is the first fic I've written that I'm posting as soon as I finish, and with the recaps at 5,000+ words it's a long slog. But I'm enjoying it. Hmmm, Mexico huh? Unfortunately I've never had the pleasure of visiting, but the knee-walking sounds like a task.



Debra - :wave hiya! Glad you're enjoying. You've hit the nail right on the head, Robin is a Mega Hunk! And Faith, oh my Faith, has she been anything but hot? Good choice, on paper they are one of the strongest teams and is one of my choice for the final three (or four, haven't decided). I can't tell myself, cos I haven't written that far yet, and of course there's always the luck factor.



mary - thanks so much for taking the time. It's a long read, I know cos it's a long write too. I think something that the reality TV producers have forgotten is that us viewers want to see interesting people on our screens, and even if they have the best premise, the best hooks, if we're not interested in the characters it's a big turn-off. In my opinion, both Survivor and TAR have tried to get back to the winning ways this season. For us, it's easier cos we have a known cast of Buffyverse characters, and it's been an interesting challenge to put them in a different situation.



You ordered a cherry scone :D that's so fantastic! As far as demanding for an update, I'll do my best. I'm writing this as fast as I can, and posting as soon as it's finished. It takes a little time to write, cos of the length of the episode and I want to do proper research. Some places might have closed or changed since I visited and I want the Race to be as realistic as possible. Thanks for reading :bigwave



amazonaa - the cherries seem to be popular with the kittens. Having tried both strawberry and cherry picking, I must say cherries is way more fun, especially if they're as ripe and juicy as they come. Thanks for dropping by!



cygnet 6 - thank you!!! I don't like spoon-fed instructions either, I'll try my best to make it interesting. Hmm, Bald-Snark, good idea! I love me Ken & Gerard, in fact my favorite season was S3. Jon Vito & Jill, mmmm. Some fave TWoP moments will appear in future updates, be sure of that.



mollyig - thanks for dropping by. I hope that it's not too confusing for non-TAR viewers, or non-reality TV viewers in general. Willow's journal gives an insight to her motives, I will have Tara's thoughts at a later stage.



Agent Whipped Bunny - :bigwave
Quote:
new and improved orchard-fresh smoochies
that sounds like a very convincing and desirable advert for more W/T goodness. Yay! Some of the teams are obviously stronger on paper, Faith & Robin and Buffy & Riley for example. But the great thing about TAR is , there's the luck factor, and the "ooops we just got lost" factor, that makes prediction so difficult.

------

quiet thoughts

hidden watson
 


The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby hidden watson » Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:34 am

30 Things





"I just slide it in?"



"Yep."



"It's not gonna spit it out again?"



"Don't be silly."



Whirling sounds of a disk drive.



"Will?"



"Yeah?"



"Why are we doing this in the dark?"



"Effect."



"You've managed to incorporate fireworks, a chamber orchestra and dancing babies into a 3 minute animated short? I know you're good, but this is taking overachievement to an extreme."



"Huh? No, I just thought it's more, you know, intimate."



"Um, okay." Beat. "It is."



Small silence.



"You sure you want to do this?"



"Watch the DVD, let complete strangers watch the DVD, or go on this trip around the world with you?"



Another small silence.



"Am I a greedy monster if I say all of the above?"



"We'll see."



Sigh.



"Do you want to go on the race? Tell me the truth."



"I said we'll see. We don't even know if we get through the first round of applications."



"What if we do? We have this cool video we made ourselves."



"I don't know, let's wait and see. Why talk about something that's still kind of remote?"



"I don't want you to do something if the only reason is to please me, I feel like I've pushed you into doing this race and this isn't what you want."



"Honestly? I'm still thinking about it. I know I said yes, and a big part is because you want to and I want to do something you want to. But I also want to find something we can do together."



"We can do other things, I don't want to force you."



"Look, Willow, I want to do something with you that doesn't involve one of us hopping on a plane and snatching a weekend here and there. Whether running around the world in a stressful situation with a bunch of total strangers is the right thing, I'm not totally convinced, yet. But I'm not dismissing it either."



"I want to do the right thing, Tara."



"I know you do. That's why I'm not saying let's not go. We have this DVD, let's send it in and see, okay?"



"Sure?"



"I'm sure. We spent all that effort putting it together, coming up with the theme, writing, programming. Not to mention filling in that horrendously long application form."



"She's so cute."



"Yeah, but I still think you're cuter."



"Sweet talker." Smile.



"Yep that's me. But why are you all the way over there? I thought we're watching it together, intimately."



They snuggled close and hit the play icon.



~~~~~



A cartoon version of a black and white kitten sleeps contently in her soft basket. She yawns, stretches and opens one eye.



Oh, you're here. I was getting comfortable in these blankets.



Hi. I'm Miss Kitty Fantastico and I'm here to tell you 30 things about my owners. Well, strictly speaking I don't exist except as a digital image, cos my owners don't live in the same part of the country, and even though they have plans to have a real cat, the "not living in the same part of the country" bit makes it difficult.



And ooops, that tidbit is one of the things I want to tell you about them. Well, I'd better get started, otherwise I tell you something more.



Comfy? Let's get started.



An animated montage of two girls, one blonde one redhead, going about their normal business. Willow works diligently at her laptop, surrounded by computers, Tara sits at her desk staring at the full moon and absent-mindedly chewing on a pencil. Miss Kitty is at the bottom corner, flashing placards with large numbers, she starts with Number One.



  1. The redhead is Willow. She lives in California, near where you humans call Silicon Valley. She quit her job in computers so she can start working for herself ... in computers. In other words, she loves computers. She was the one who took hand-drawn versions of me and gave me form.


  2. The blonde is Tara. She lives in Alabama, more than 2,300 miles away from California. She finds computers useful, but she is more interested in drawing cartoons and writing stories. She did the drawings and most of the storyboarding of this one with me in it. She's my creator.


  3. It's hard to take Willow away from computers, and Tara from drawing, they love these so much. But what they love more? Each other. Now, repeat after me: "that's soooo sweet!"


  4. They met when they worked on a web-based animated series, Willow was involved in the digital graphics and Tara was one of the animators.


  5. Their first kiss was at the end of a busy and frantic week of work deadlines and stolen touches. They'd just had a quick dinner, their first proper meal in days, and were walking back to the studio. Neither can remember who started it, but both describe the buzzing and almost insistent urge that completely took over them. It was the right time.






Animated Willow goes shopping at Chinatown in San Francisco, she picks up a postcard with a big heart that says "I Miss You" and sighs. Tara takes her dinner into her living room and eats by herself, watching TV. She sighs.





  1. It takes between 6 and 6 1/2 hours to fly from San Francisco to Birmingham, including one layover at Denver or Atlanta. They usually use San Francisco airport cos there are more flights and it's cheaper than from Oakland.


  2. The trip takes over 2 days by road. They joke that one day they will try it, but haven't had the opportunity.


  3. They haven't talked about how they want to deal with the long distance travel situation.






Willow and Tara play with Miss Kitty Fantastico outdoors. It's a beautiful day with blue skies, cotton candy clouds and brilliant sunshine.





  1. I wish they can have more time to spend together, then may be one day they can have a home and I'll be a real kitty and play with balls of string, sleep under the sun and have my own warm blanket.


  2. I think it's sweet that they've given me a name already.


  3. They have a habit of naming their things. Tara's car is called Nadia, Willow's bike is called Miguel. The only exception are Willow's computers because there are so many of them.


  4. Willow owns 37 domain names and is conversant in almost all the required web language.


  5. Tara owns a copy of every single book written by Enid Blynton and can carry on a simple conversation in sign language.






Willow and Tara in a kitchen cooking a meal, Miss Kitty peers inside looking for food, rubbing herself on first Willow, then Tara. The girls laugh, and pick her up.





  1. They love to try all sorts of new foods, at newly opened restaurants or trying new recipes.


  2. According to Willow the scientist, cooking is a lot like chemistry, it's just a matter of mixing the right ingredients together.


  3. Tara thinks cooking and gardening have more in common. Though there are rules and instructions, instincts play a big part.


  4. Spicy food is a joint favorite. There is a Japanese noodle chain that serves only spicy noodles on a scale of zero to five chillis, they managed to get up the four chillis one time but usually stick with one or two.


  5. Another favorite type of food is garlic, with mushrooms, roasted with chicken and even garlic ice cream!


  6. In fact, ice cream and chocolate have their own food groups. The definition of heaven is Phish Food.






Enjoying themselves at the park, at the zoo and at home in the bath (separately!).





  1. They are spiritual people who observe the Sabbats. Which is kinda funny because Willow is Jewish and Tara is brought up Baptist.


  2. They find visiting aquariums a calming experience.


  3. Another favorite activity is running through grass that still has morning dew on them, barefooted.


  4. They love, love, love the smell of freshly mowed grass.


  5. What is more luxurious than a nice hot bath with scented bath oil, more bubbles than you've ever seen, and soft candles burning in the background?






Miss Kitty then brings us to scenes of their adventures.





  1. Tara has never been outside the US before last year, when she went with the animation company to meet the other team members in Japan, home of anime.


  2. Willow studiously keeps a record of the states and countries she's visited in an online map.


  3. The most memorable trip was one they made to visit Tara's Great-great-Aunt Edna, who lives in a rural part of Oklahoma. They had tea and sampled the brownies made by the still active 106-year old. It wasn't to a famous tourist attraction or a museum with rare artefacts, but they felt real kinship with the elderly lady and it was an afternoon they'd never forget.


  4. If you ask them which country they want to visit, Willow will say New Zealand for the rugged scenery and the fact that it's so far away. Tara will say India or China because of the ancient civilization and spirituality.


  5. One of their most embarrassing moments was when they crashed their car into a giant inflatable chicken. They were on their way to a farm show when a wasp flew inside their car. Amidst the wild panic and screams that followed the car skidded into the giant inflatable chicken that was at the entrance of the show. Neither car nor chicken suffered lasting damage.


  6. They confess separately that they want to see naked childhood pictures of the other, but are too embarrassed to ask. May be one day?






We fade to black, then fade in again. Miss Kitty is back at her basket, this time in front of a warm glowing fireplace.



Well folks, I hope you enjoyed this short film. I'm going back to sleep now, thanks for watching.





~~~~~



Author's Notes:

Every team that applies for the Amazing Race have to submit a lengthy application form together with a 3 minute video about themselves. Needless to say if the video catches the eye of the casting directors, the applicants have a better chance to proceed to the next stage of the casting process.



Willow and Tara's video is an animated short of Miss Kitty telling the viewers 30 things about them.



*****

hidden watson
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby Missocki » Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:11 am

OMG! That video was the cutest thing ever! I only wish I could see it in real life! I just love this story, and seriously wish it was a real show!



By the way, The best part had to be the soccer scenes! WOOT!!!







"I think when I cease to go to the bathroom, then I can call myself famous." -Amber Benson

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." -Rose Franken

Missocki
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby JustSkipIt » Sun Mar 20, 2005 1:27 pm

Wonderful update. Yes: stupid bunching! It makes me crazy and yet I can see the necessity. Otherwise people like Faith & Robin (or Rob & Amber in real life) would be on completely different continents and rather than disrupting business at some taco stand in Paraguy for 3 hours, it would be disrupted for two days. That doesn't change the whole: stupid bunching!



The other thing is that I share your frustration over CBS's editorial policies. We know that last season on Survivor they actually made a conscious decision to cut away from both lesbian kisses during the "family challenge" episode. And when asked about it the basic response was that it's not popular right now (causing me to wonder who it's not popular with but that's a different thing). So like you, I struggle with attempting to have some verisimilitude in writing a CBS-reality TV crossover and still exposing some amount of W/T smoochies. I mean for real! It's frustrating and your "Miss Ali" is doing a great job expressing your frustration.



That said...



The update is so great. Of course W/T would run over to the Cafe for a pic of the painting. Brilliant girls! I can't say I'm sorry to see L&C go and only hope to lose AAbot and the Principals next. Boring and clutting up the landscape.



Finally: the "extra" is awesome. Take it as no insult when I say that I like it better than the udpate itself. To think that they would make up an animated short for their application is adorable. Truly adorable. Mmm 4 peppers... (but I digress). Well done!!! Thanks for the update.

"It is better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all- Georges Courteline

"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there." - Chare Booth Luce

My latest story: Survivor - Ash Island

JustSkipIt
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby the hero factor » Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:38 pm

Quote:
Randy wastes space again.




Quote:
Randy does stretches and running on the spot to make you think he's an athlete.




Poor Randy getting snarked on. Hee!



Quote:
At least they gave us an amusing song. Knees don't ache in Nice indeed. Thank you, Actors.




Too bad about Cordy and Lorne. I like them both. But them's the brakes in a competition fic like this, not everyone I like can win. Especially since I'm the type who likes most everyone. I just hope Tara and Willow continue to do well.



Loved the update, funny as always. And loved the extra. Seeing Will and Tara's video was cool.

the hero factor
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby Artemis » Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:57 pm

More TWoP wonderfulness :bow Now that you mention it, it is really strange to realise you're recapping yourself, with all the attendant sarcasm and snide comments. That honestly hadn't occurred to me, so yay you for getting my disbelief suspended without me even noticing :D I guess it'd be tempting to fix all the problems with the 'episode' internally, but I like it this way - it provides many opportunities for sarky goodness, and feels just like a real recap, which makes the whole thing so much better.



I loved all the characterful moments along the way - Willow and Tara's 'interesting' fashion (darn, I'm so smitten I can't even criticise their clothes now), Snyder being an argumentative prick and getting them all in trouble, Willow using her Google smarts to get them a head start, Lorne and Cordy screwing up tremendously - yep, it was painful to 'watch', poor guys - Lorne being a 'big sister', that's so perfect, Anya and Xander testing each other's patience... so many things, it's all great :bow



I agree 100% with Recapper-Watson: more smoochies! There'd better be a half-hour special just devoted to Lovebird smoochies somewhere down the track, or CBS is in trouble :wtkiss



Okay, and the audition video... :blush I love the video. If I was a TV executive seeing that, I'd totally give them anything they wanted - a race spot, their own TV show, whatever... Miss Kitty Fantastico is adorable as ever, and it's lovely how it's on the one hand different and eye-catching, yet at the same time it's totally true to the spirit of doing the audition video in the first place. It's not some gimmicky thing, it's what Willow and Tara do, drawing and animation, it's them in a cute-as-a-button package.



The little conversation beforehand was great too, and brought back memories of that earlier part when Tara was thinking about herself and her reasons for doing the race. I'm glad she decided that she did want to go, for herself not just to please Willow (though I'm sure the fact that she could do both wasn't minded at all :D ).



Lastly, thanks once more for the extra info links - wow that is one luxurious mansion alright! :thud And apropos of nothing, soccer is soccer in Australia too - here 'football' means rugby league (like American football, but without the armour or the stopping all the time).



I'll definitely be tuning in to the next episode. Thanks :bow

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.

Smut Bunnies!: Saving the world, sexily!

Artemis
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby meretricious » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:26 am

this is such a fun read! seems like every other paragraph i think, "that's my favorite line;no wait, that's my favorite.." and so on thru the entire update. but then i have a deep apreciation for snarky when it's smart, and yours always is. interesting observation that you're taking shots at yourself. i especially enjoyed the self-destructing obstacle course, by then they all just seemed to deserve ending up in a pile. every update i think snyder and flutie can't last much longer, and then they do. starting to worry more about xander and anya, though, their differences seem a lot more personal than any of the other squabbling teams.

and i can only add to the chorus of "aawww"s for the entry video, completely enchanting. made me think that even if willow and tara don't win tar, they've already won the most important thing. totally out of character for me to have such a sweet thought, so i went back and read the snarkier parts of the update til it went away.

~mary

take me somewhere we can be alone
make me somewhere i can call a home~zero 7

Edited by: meretricious at: 3/21/05 5:29 am
meretricious
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby hidden watson » Mon Mar 21, 2005 7:48 am

Hey Chris, I just want to reply to this. I would have thought in Australia "football" means Aussie Rules. I was in Sydney last year and chickened out of a Swans vs (another team I can't remember) match cos I was lazy and wanted to stay indoors. I watched it on the hotel TV though. I know a little rugby union so I was able to follow it, it's fun and the players are so fit!



The reason I wanted to add a comment is in the application video I had:
Quote:
21. They find visiting aquariums a calming experience.
and then in Smut Bunnies Tara said:
Quote:
"My safe word is 'aquarium',"
Co-incidence much?



------

quiet thoughts

hidden watson
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby Artemis » Mon Mar 21, 2005 8:40 am

Re 'football' - Aussie rules (AFL) has its heartland in Victoria, and there yes, I think it's what they mean when they say 'football'. In the other states though, rugby league is more popular than AFL, and gets the 'football' tag, while 'rugby' refers to union. I differ from my fellow Sydney residents in vaguely preferring to watch AFL, though tennis beats all for me.



It does mean that there are currently three separate shows on TV here, all called 'The Footy Show'. I derive some modest amusement from this, which is more than I ever did from watching any of them.



I totally didn't notice the 'aquarium' coincidence until you pointed it out; I wish I could say it was a deliberate nod to the Kitten Race, but no. However, one such nod is on the way, somewhere in the next few chapters... :D

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.

Smut Bunnies!: Saving the world, sexily!

Artemis
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby Irene73 » Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:44 pm

Howdy Madame Watson:laugh



I was reading one of your replies to Chris about the "AQUARIUM" coincidence...and I realized that the Smut Bunnies are in the city of Long Beach, California where the "AQUARIUM" of the Pacific is located...MUCH COINCIDENCE?:hmm



And now for TAR replies...BRAVO:bow

I hadn't realized that you were making comments...and funny ones at that...on a fic your writing...I can see how that can be daunting...but you are doing a marvelous job.:blush



I find I can't get through the first few lines in the beginning of a chapter (episode), without laughing hysterically. OH and by far the title for this portion of TAR had me crying I was laughing so much...I don't know if it was done on purpose or not...but I kept thinking about what I had mentioned to you about Mexico and the whole "knee walking" thingy...and then the title to this chapter (episode) and the laughter just erupted...:rofl :lmao



So on to favorite and memorable quotes:



1. Referring to Adam

"he has a nice voice...he should use it more often"...indeed.:crazy



2. "I want an older sister like Lorne." ...me too:p



3. Referring to Willow and Tara's wardrobe choice

"I search for words but can only come up with something that makes me cross eyed-CONCOCTION"...The Kitten, The Witches, and THE BAD WORDROPE!!!!!...poor girls...I guess originality counts for something?:wtf :wtkiss



4. Referring to Joyce and Sheila

"Bright puffy Jackets"...OMG THATS MY MOM AND HER SISTER, MY AUNT!!!!!!!:lmao :rofl



5. Referring to the Marathoners...oh my bad...team Efficiency

"they rip the clue, read the clue and jog off efficiently."...need I say more?????:D



6. "Randy wastes space again."...that is why DVD's are great...skip to the next chapter...or time for a bathroom break. I love Billy Idol...and after seeing blondie on BTVS I was hoping Mr. Idol would kick is ass.:applause



AND LASTLY:



7."Soccer players...they have skills mon."...it was the "MON" part that got me...the next thing that popped in my head was "They're jamming...jamming, jamming...I hope you like a jamming too." which led me to breaking out with the Reggae and Skaw CD's...a little Fishbone...a little Madness...a dash of Shabba Ranks...a sprinkle of The English Beat and General Public...OF COURSE BOB MARLEY...and then I did a whole 80's flashback the entire day ending with "Pass the Douchie...on thee left hand side." If I hadn't of read this update...I wouldn't have enjoyed reliving my teenage years...thank you:happycry :bigkiss :crazy



THE 80'S RULED!!!!!!!!!:laugh :D



And I have go along with everyone and say that the little video the girls submitted was so adorable. And since it was you who came up with the concept...HOW CUTE ARE YOU?!!!!!:blush



Updatey Goodness soonish?:flower



Saluting you while be-bopping to the lively toons of Depeche Mode...still in 80's mode...

Irene:pride

Irene73
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3

Postby mollyig » Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:55 am

Another exciting episode of TAR. As usual, there was so much going on, yet it's so easy to follow thanks to your descriptive talents. Being a football fan, I would have liked to see the lovebirds play a bit, I'm sure they would have found a way to distract the goalkeeper in order to score 5 goals! ;)



The extra you gifted us with was delightful.



Thanks!


You stay the course, you hold the line, you keep it all together.

You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
- Sarah McLachlan

mollyig
 


The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 4 Extra

Postby hidden watson » Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:00 am

Bouncing back



As soon as the director shouted "cut!" Tara collapsed into Willow's arms and sobbed uncontrollably.



"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she blubbered.



"Hey, honey" Willow said, as she lifted Tara's chin. "Why the sorries?"



"I got us lost and nearly out of the Race," Tara whimpered.



"Of course not, we're in this Race as a team, so whatever we do, we do together. No blaming anyone, is that clear?" Willow soothed her girlfriend. "Which of course means if I do something wrong, you're not allowed to blame me."



Tara managed to smile at Willow's attempts to cheer her up. It was working.



Phil Keogan came over to them. "Are you alright?" he asked with genuine concern.



Tara managed to wipe a tear off her face. "We will be, thanks Phil."



"You must have seen your fair share of weepiness by now," said Willow.



"It doesn't take the impact away. I've been doing this season after season, but for the contestants, it's the chance of a lifetime and it's understandable if they get emotional. I'm glad you're still in the race, take care and I'll see you at dinner?" said Phil as his assistant came to usher him off.



The crew's work didn't end after the cameras stopped rolling. Moving the entire production to hotels, loading the equipment to storage trucks and liaising with local officials required degrees in logistics, hospitality and communication.



Teams were put up at a local farm that also offered B&B facilities, they were thrilled to be sleeping in converted barns and stables. "To sample the local life," as Sheila described it.



After settling into their quarters, they met the line producers for the customary interviews followed by the debrief with all teams present.



"Hope everyone is not too tired. I know it's been a long day, you did very well with drive across 3 countries," said Elise, the senior executive producer who ran the show while it was on the road. "As you gathered, it was an non-elimination round so we have 9 teams intact. I'm going to turn over to Ashley to go over the Pitstop logistics. I'll see you all at dinner."



Ashley was the staff member the racers were closest to, she was the one they went to with any problems and she stayed with them during the Pitstop. As usual, she started with the arrival times, signing each team's time card that served as proof of their progress in the race. She also confirmed there were no time penalties this leg and went through the departure times.



"Now I have some good news and some better news. This is going to be a 36 hour pitstop, we're leaving the day after tomorrow. The even better news is, you'll be able to go out into town, they don't get TAR here so a decision was made to allow you to venture out. There are some conditions: 1) you are not allowed to talk about the Race, that's a given under any circumstances anyway; 2) you can't bring any race equipment with you; 3) you should consider yourselves in the same situation as a pitstop, ie no contacting friends and family; and finally 4) you will be chaperoned. Any questions?" she said, to rapturous cheers from the teams.



"Do we have to stay around Bellinzona or can we go a bit further?" asked Rupert.



"Within reason, you can go anywhere you want, when in doubt, check with your chaperone," she answered.



"Can we borrow the cars we came in?" asked Adam.



"No, they're being returned. You'll have to rely on public transport," Ashley said.



"What about money?" asked Anya.



"Good point, Anya. Each team will be given a per diem of 20 francs, if you have any left over, you can keep it," Ashley explained. "Any more? Okay, dinner will be served in the main hall in 30 minutes, I think you deserve a good meal."



Teams dispersed back to their rooms or to walk around the farm. Willow & Tara came up to Ashley.



"We have a question we didn't want to pose in front of the others. We have to get money for the next leg, can we do that during the Pitstop?" asked Tara.



"I don't see why not, as long as you don't tell people what it's for. The normal rules apply," Ashley answered. "What are you going to do?"



"Probably the usual groveling," said Willow.



"Tell you what. I'm going to approve this, provided a cameraman and a soundman come with you, okay?" Ashley offered.



Willow and Tara exchanged a quick look.



"Sure," they said in unison.



*****



"What happened?" Anya asked when they joined each other at dinner. "One minute you're in my rearview mirror, the next minute you're gone."



"We got off the wrong turning, ended up on the wrong side of the Alps," Tara explained.



"We were so happy to find Bellinzona we went straight to the first castle we could see, and it was the wrong one," Willow added.



"That's not like you," Xander interjected.



"Yeah well, it's been a long day," Willow replied.



"I can't believe they made us drive all day," Anya agreed.



They were interrupted by the arrival of the food. Trays of salad, pasta, sausages, roast chicken, fries, breadrolls and fresh fruit greeted the famished racers and they attacked everything like they had not eaten for a whole day. Which in most cases were true.



At the buffet table Flutie was asking the chef where they get their sausage meat from.



"This sausage is very good, I want to try making some of this at my farm. What is it called, do you have the recipe?" he asked.



The chef shrugged his shoulders. "It's bratwurst and we get it from the suppliers," he said.



"It's pork isn't it?" Flutie followed on.



"It's veal," said the chef.



"Oh. That's no good then, veal import into the US is strictly controlled," Flutie said, disappointed.



Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara were joined by Faith and Robin. "Look, I think Randy is heading for a lot of trouble," Faith remarked.



"What does he think he's doing?" Xander wondered out loud.



"He's not being subtle about it, is he?" Willow added.



"That guy's got as much subtlety as a bull in a china shop," Anya chimed in.



"I think someone better steps in before — uh oh, too late," Robin said as he jumped up to stop the fight rapidly developing between Randy and Riley. Riley got first punch in, which landed Randy on the floor. With a snarl Randy sprung back up on his feet again immediately. Both men were swearing profanities at each other at that point.



Robin managed to get to Randy while Adam put a restraining hold on Riley. Rupert stepped in and forcefully dragged his son away.



"You better watch out, I'm onto you now, you son of a bitch," Riley shouted at the retreating Randy.



*****



They were at the bus-stop early next morning.



"Are you girls going into town?" Sheila asked.



"Oh yes, we need to find some money for the next leg. Luckily we're in a touristy area," Tara answered.



"Here, take this, to help you out," Joyce handed over $10 to Tara.



Tara smiled the sweetest smile Joyce had ever seen. "Thanks, Joyce. We really appreciate this, you didn't have to."



Willow crossed the road and greeted her girlfriend with a peck on the cheek. She gave Joyce and Sheila a hug when Tara told her about the gift.



They parted ways when they got into town.



"We have the $10 the Moms gave us, plus the $10 from Anya and Xander. How much do you think we need?" asked Willow.



"I dunno. We may be staying in Switzerland so it'll be expensive if we need to get taxis and trains. At least $100, may be more," Tara replied.



"Oh boy, this is going to be humiliating," Willow sighed.



"We're in this together, Sweetie, we'll always have each other," Tara smiled and gave Willow a long, hard kiss. They had since the cherry orchard gotten used to showing their feelings freely in front of the crew.



They hadn't talked about the "always" yet. But it was becoming increasingly clear that this was the relationship they were both waiting for all their lives and they weren't going to let it go easily.



After an hour of pleading and begging they had about CHF 30, mostly in spare change. They decided to take a break and headed towards the town square.



"Water?" Willow offered.



"Thanks," Tara distractedly took the water bottle they filled up at the Pitstop, she was looking at a group of teenagers with a pensive expression.



"What?" asked Willow.



"Look," Tara nodded at the group she was observing. "They're setting up some easels. Come on, I want to talk to them."



A few minutes later Tara had negotiated the use of a sketch pad and some pieces of charcoal. It took her a few minutes to outline a portrait of one of the teenagers, who couldn't take his eyes off it.



"Wow," Willow said. "You know, honey, you can —"



"Yes I know," Tara smiled knowingly. Turning to the boy whose portrait she had just drawn, "This is for you, what's your name?"



"Claude," he replied.



"Well Claude, can I buy this sketch pad and a few pieces of chalk from you?" asked Tara.



"No, no, it's okay. It's un regalo, um, gift," Claude smiled. The other children crowded around too and Tara ended up sketching portraits of all of them.



By that time she had attracted attention from passers-by and tourists. She was kept busy all morning doing sketches while Willow, with Claude's help, managed to find a shop to buy some refreshments for everyone waiting in line.



Tara didn't charge a fixed price for the portraits, when people asked she would say as much or as little as they thought it was worth. They called it a day just after lunchtime and retired to a small pizzeria where they treated themselves to a vegetarian pizza and large glasses of soda.



"You were great, I'm so proud of you," Willow beamed.



"You know how much I love drawing, it was enjoyable. How much did we make?" Tara smiled back.



"CHF 200 and change, I almost fainted when that couple gave us a 50 franc note," Willow said excitedly.



"You think we have enough?"



"I think so, are you tired?"



"A little."



"Let's take it easy, do a little sightseeing, get our dinner and have an early night."



"Okay."



"I'm so proud of you today, I just want to tell you again."



Tara's heart felt like it would burst, she looked at the redhead by her side, her redhead, with the most sincere and loving expression on her face, and every uncertainty, every frustration, simply melted away.



"Let's go back now. I need to hold you, feel you around me, all of you. Right now," she said thickly. They had been waiting, taking things slow. But it was time to take the next step.



Willow nodded, paid the waitress and they headed back to the farm.



*****



They sat facing each other on the bed. Outside were the sounds of a working farm — cowbells ringing, horses trotting in the distance, a tractor hauling hay bales. Inside their room, none of it mattered. They knew in about 12 hours' time they would be back in the race. But right now, none of it mattered.



Tara reached out with her left hand and gently stroked the side of Willow's cheek, feeling her love sigh and lean into the caress. With her other hand, she traced a path along Willow's neck and the first button on her shirt. Her left hand joined her right and she slowly undid the buttons, one by one, she wasn't about to rush things, the slowness of her actions a sign of her desire to prolong the pleasure.



Just looking at Willow was pleasure enough.



Every button she eased off opened up an expanse of skin that, every time she saw it, always felt like the first time.



Willow sat very still, barely breathing, her eyes wide with the wonderment that was Tara. Her heart singing her love and devotion to the woman in front of her. A woman who she found, and was never letting go.



When all her buttons were undone, and while Tara was gently sliding her warm hands inside to undo her bra, she tugged at the bottom of Tara's T-shirt and softly rolled it up until it bunched at Tara's neck, then her hands found their way to Tara's back and mimicked her love's action there.



She shrugged her shirt and bra off and helped Tara out of her clothes.



Pants were removed with equal reverence and celebration. But they kept the last small piece of clothing on, today was a day for simple pleasures.



Looking at each other was pleasure enough.



They were lying face to face now, arms and legs in an unorderly but comforting embrace.



Holding.



Touching.



Light, feathery brushes that caused goose pimples to spring up and breaths to shorten.



Tiny kisses that grew more intense. Lips and tongues and teeth smashed together.



Bodies in contact, the shared warmth a conduit for a closeness they thought they felt before, but was becoming fully manifested.



Being.



Belonging.



It was just them, tonight.





*****

------

quiet thoughts

Edited by: hidden watson at: 4/15/05 8:02 am
hidden watson
 


Replies for Episode 3

Postby hidden watson » Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:46 am

Missocki - The video seems to have gone down well, I'm happy now. I wish I had enough skills to actually make that animated short, but alas, no. You liked the soccer scenes :) ? Thank you!



Debra - I have a feeling Faith and Robin will completely dominate a real life TAR, the way Rob and Amber are doing. It's a shame about the lack of W/T smoochies, but I will probably start taking liberties with that. After all, I'm the producer of this "show", not Jerry Bruckheimer, not Les Moonves, and I need my :wtkiss smoochies :)
Quote:
Take it as no insult when I say that I like it better than the udpate itself.
Believe me, none taken. Part of me, when writing the extra, felt like the purpose, the pinnacle of this Episode was the video, and the preceding 5000+ words about the actual episode was just appetizer (did that make sense?). Personally I like the video very much, it's my favorite part, episode or extra, so far. So you're not alone on your opinion. Thanks again.



the hero factor - you can tell I'm not a big fan of Randy, Spike or William ;) For his father's sake though, I'll probably give him some more attention. Good attention or bad attention? You'll have to see. By the way, love your avatar, it's mucho cute!



Chris - thank you indeed. I'm one of those people who talk to myself, usually silently, so donning 2 opposing hats isn't that difficult. Fun, though.
Quote:
darn, I'm so smitten I can't even criticise their clothes
I know exactly what you mean! It's dead easy to snark on all the racers, but :willow and :tara can't do much wrong in my book.
Quote:
Snyder being an argumentative prick
I'm going to borrow that description and stick it in the next episode. Serious. Glad you like the video too, like I said to Debra, it's my personal favorite, and it's totally what 2 professional animators who are the cutest people on earth would do as an audition video :) Funny anecdote about football and the Footy Show, I can see how it can get confusing.
Quote:
one such nod is on the way, somewhere in the next few chapters
something to do with cherries, may be?



mary - lovely feedback indeed. I'm so glad you found so many favorites.
Quote:
totally out of character for me to have such a sweet thought
:lmao keep them sweet thoughts at bay, cos there's more snark to come!



No. 1 fan Irene73 - :bigwave yeah, I planned the route, the placing, the stupid mistakes, the bunching, all the stuff we hate about the production, even the lack of smoochies. And then I turn around and I snark on it. It's not daunting at all, it's huge fun :D I know, I'm a bit strange, to be making my own fun like this. I just had to throw the "mon" into the football sequence, I don't know why, but it just fit there, you know? So, another child of the 80s? Of course, being in the UK then, I was all about Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and the likes. Depeche Mode, they're alright *nods*.



mollyig - thanks for reading. Glad you like the football, I read somewhere that AH used to play (of course for Americans "soccer" is played by high school girls), but it made better sense for them to do the cooking. May be there will be other opportunities for them to do sports later, I dunno yet, haven't written any more than the next episode.



Speaking of next episode ...

------

quiet thoughts

hidden watson
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 4

Postby hidden watson » Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:58 am

Title: The Amazing Kitten Race

Author: watson (hiddenwatson@yahoo.com)

Distribution: this is for Pens, if you want to archive it elsewhere, please let me know me first

Rating: Episodes are PG-13, Recaps and Extras are R or more

Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The Amazing Race belongs to CBS, Amazing Race Productions Inc, Touchstone Television Productions Inc, Jerry Bruckheimer Productions and others.

Summary: The Amazing Race Crossover. It's a race around the world. Who will be Eliminated? Who will win $1 million?





Episode 4 - Bless me father for I have sinned, I'm looking for a clue



Episode recap



Oh hello there, nice of you to join. I'm so cozy lazing around at the poolside of my pink belle epoch vacation mansion here at the French Riviera. Just let me finish sipping my champagne and have my butler bring me my robe, and I'll be with you.



Okay, I'm back in reality now, what a drag.



We get a sweeping aerial shot of the Ephrussi de Rothschild in its splendor, then it's time to start. No eat, sleep and mingle sequence. With the enforced rest and shopping the teams got the night before in Nice, they should be well rested.



Phil, in a rugged Aussie Outback jacket, wonders if Faith & Robin, who have moved up to first place, will stay focused enough to retain their lead; and whether April & Andrew, who haven't finished higher than ninth place so far, can get their act together and get out of last place.



It's a late night start again.



11.05pm. Team Efficiency, looking full of energy even though it's raining and dark and miserable. Looks like someone had a healthy dose of Pitstop sex. They are to drive more than 180 miles to Torino, Italy. Better known as Turin, it's the home of the 2006 Winter Olympics, Fiat cars and the Shroud.



They are to find the building that is on one side of a copper coin inside the clue envelope. I'm so happy about this clue, first, no airport or train station bunching; second, all they get is a town and a coin. Chances are the building is well known, but at least the Racers need to use a little brainpower to find out what it is.



They run to their car, throw in their backpacks and are off, not with a squeal of tires, but close. "We're totally pumped, we'll do anything to keep our first place," Faith growls. It's official, Pitstop sex is good for you.



11.17pm. The Moms. "We benefited from teams moving in a group together last leg, we're still worried about future physical challenges, but with our determination and respect for each other as a team, we're not afraid of anything," Sheila says. I'm surprised they came in second in the last leg, bunching was a big factor. However I also think the detour suited them and they managed the task quickly, so credit where credit's due.



11.23pm. Lovebirds. Can't tell what ridiculous outfits they may be wearing underneath their raingear, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say, colorful and uncoordinated. They are still by far the team I find most adorable. They've run a smart race so far, and have not constantly pushed their relationship in my face (Lynn & Alex I'm looking at you), I find myself genuinely wanting them to do well.



11.39pm. Pirates. Anya examines the coin carefully and remarks at how small it is. Hey! It's the Amazing Exposition Hands holding the coin in his very large palm. How I've missed you, Hands! Phil explains that coins in the Eurozone have one common side and country specific motifs on the other side. The coin in the clue is the Italian 2 cent and it shows the Mole Antonelliana, a Torino landmark with a tall strange narrow spire. It looks like a giant inverted ice-cream cone, or a long toilet plunger, if you ask me.



euro2centIT



And okay, I can't help it, Photoshop is just sitting there on the dock, mocking me, begging for me to click on it. You can tell I've done Pixel Challenges before, and no, Glark hasn't killed me where I stand. He doesn't dare. My sincere, sincere apologies to the good people of Torino.



mole normal mole plunger





11.51pm. The Goldies are excited to be going to Italy. They're also happy that they moved back to the middle of the pack. "We'll just carry on moving up, picking off the competition one by one. It's what we're good at," Riley says smugly. To their credit, they haven't been all "we're famous celebrities" so far, just another YDC in a pack of YDCs. Boring, but not offensive. They're this leg's money announcer, they have $166.



12.19am. TallShort get their clue, examine the coin and rev up their car. At last we have the honor of hearing Oz talking at length! "We haven't really built alliances with other teams at this point. The older teams tend to stay together and the couples generally hang out. Adam and I don't fit into either group and that suits us fine. We just get on with it." He looks good in a baseball cap too.



12.22am. R.Randy. They moved up one place to seven, but are still slipping compared with first place on the first leg. Randy was a little more useful last leg, finding the postcard and all, but I had nothing to do the other day [*perish forbid!*] and was thinking how Rupert could have been paired with the other racers. I had images of him with Buffy, Anya and even Joyce . Heh, I'm shipping a racer on a reality tv show, I must be reading too much fanfic.



12.36am. Principals. I wish they're gone, and I'm not being foreshadow-y. Snyder's been an argumentative prick and I'm beginning to hate Flutie for his passive-aggressive ways. We've seen more than our fair share of pricks on the Race: TAR3 Ian and TAR6 Jonathan to name a couple, but at least they were entertaining villains. Snyder makes my teeth grate. I can't wait for them to get off my screen.



12.52am. AAbot. I should want these two off my screen too, they've been piss poor racers. But like a wet puppy in the rain I feel a bucketload of pity for them because of their ineptness. They need to do better, way better, otherwise it's Sequesterville for them.



~~~~~



Driving more than 180 miles with little sleep, in the dark and in a strange country is no fun. I don't envy the teams. And yes, I know it's only 10 minutes into the episode and I've used up my quota of sympathy. My girlfriend is staying with me and I'm in a good mood, okay?



It's still dark when the teams take the turning off the autostrada towards Torino. Team Efficiency pull into a gas station to ask about the coin, they learn it's the Mole Antonelliana. Lovebirds and Pirates do the same at a hotel, sounds like the Mole is a large enough landmark to be distinctive.



Goldies, Moms and R.Randy meet at roadside and confer. It's funny to see 6 people puzzling over a tiny coin by torchlight, they decide they need to ask someone. Oh my, I'd never think of asking the local people, what a brilliant idea! [/sarcasm]



TallShort car. Oz is looking through a large foldable map. He identifies Torino and guesses the building is a famous church or museum. They agree to find the nearest gas station or shop so they can ask directions.



AAbot pull into a 24 hour convenience store. April cheerfully goes up to the cashier and naturally asks Andrew for the coin. Andrew reaches into his pocket and pulls out all manner of coins. He looks sheepish as he confesses that he PUT THE COIN IN WITH HIS OTHER COINS. And now he can't remember which one it is. Really, this team doesn't deserve to be on the Race.



All they remember is that it's small, which applies to all coins on the planet earth (well, except the chocolate coins we get at Easter) so the ScreechPrincess, StupidBoy and Not!Seven-Eleven employee examine all the coins that are now scattered on the counter and ask each other questions in languages neither party understand. This is just great, god, my good mood just took a swan dive into oblivion.



Principals ask the cashier at a road toll about the coin, she shakes her head. They ask some more, she shakes her head again and tells them to move along. Space clutterers.



Establishing shot of Torino night sky, with the Mole prominent in the foreground. Team Efficiency negotiate the narrow streets trying to reach it but there are random cars abandoned in the middle of the street, bumper to bumper, side to front, whatever way you can imagine. Robin wonders how they get out of those tight spaces and snarks that no wonder Fiat makes these insanely teeny cars.



The Goldies are the first to arrive, Riley impresses me by making up the 46 minute difference between him and Robin, who parks his team's car shortly after.



I was afraid of more bunching cos the Mole opens at 9am. Thankfully the cluebox is outside and teams can retrieve their clue without needing to enter the museum. They are to drive 240 miles to Strà near Venice and find the Villa Pisani.



But they can't leave yet. Each team must start a clock located in a small tented reststop and leave only when 45 minutes is up. Refreshments and freshen up facilities are provided but they cannot leave the immediate area. This is new, we've never had a mandatory stop like this. I mean, they just drove 3-4 hours and now another 240 miles? It's just TPTB making sure they don't get sued if someone causes an accident by falling asleep at the wheels.



Pirates, TallShort, R.Randy and Lovebirds arrive in short succession, get the clue and join the others. Xander asks Anya if she'll be alright with the driving and he can take over for a while. That's the first time I've seen them acting like they care about the other, well about time.



Now we get to see some team dynamics we don't get to see. The two tallest guys, Adam and Riley, strike up a conversation. Oz and the testosterone half of the YDCs, Xander and Robin seem to be comfortable with each other, and they're even joined by Willow, guess we now know who wears the pants in that relationship. Buffy and Faith look like sportswear models as they enjoy a coffee, in terms of fitness Faith is on par with Buffy, even though one is a famous athlete and the other, well, isn't. It's also quite obvious that Randy has a crush on Buffy, the way he appears to eye her up and tries to edge near her. Someone better tell the spiky haired one that he's invading the territory of a world record breaking athlete who can probably crush his windpipe with just one squeeze of those large hands. Plus which, you know what they say about large hands.



The Moms and Principals arrive in the meantime, to the relief of Rupert, probably out of place surrounded by younger folks.



Buffy & Riley and Faith & Robin's time is up and they get going. The mini-bunch of Xander & Anya, Adam & Oz, Willow & Tara and Randy & Rupert also leave when their time is up.



AAbot finally arrive, to find the Moms and Principals getting ready to leave.



~~~~~



Morning has broken. A parade of cars make their merry way across Italy's shoulders.



TallShort pull into a gas station. "Check the type of gas," Oz reminds his teammate. Just as well, cos they have a diesel car. Now why do I think the Amazing Editors showed me that clip?



Other teams fill up also. We're treated to an exhilarating shot of a large sign that says "DIESEL". Anya does a some stretching exercises while Xander works the pump, I notice the color of the nozzle, it's black.



Finally I get to see the Lovebirds' attire for today. Oh, no rojak. They're wearing something ... normal looking, long sleeved T-shirts in pastel colors and jeans. They look nice, but I'm kinda disappointed. Willow gets some drinks from the vending machine while Tara fills up, yep, the nozzle's black.



And then we cut to April & Andrew. I spy with my own little eye Andrew's using a green nozzle. Yikes. It's dieselgate again. Don't they ever learn? A prerequisite for any team entering TAR should be to watch old programs and note down important To-do or Not-to-do, like if a car runs on diesel, don't put unleaded in it.



Lo and behold, their car splutters to a halt on the highway. They totally freak out, screaming at each other, at the car, at anything. Andrew slams the door, grabs the hood and shakes it, it's no good boy. He looks like he's on the verge of tears. April is already blubbering.



Eventually Andrew gathers enough sense and says they need to get to a garage, they walk back in the direction they come from. Not looking good, man. I have a very bad feeling this. First the mistake with the coin, then the mistake with the diesel. I don't think they will last long.



Elsewhere the sun is well up in the sky when the first of the teams arrive in Veneto. Phil explains that the Villa Pisani is one of the grand villas dotted along the banks of the Rivera del Brenta that flows between Padua and Venice. Finished in 1760, it was modeled after Versailles and bankrupted its owners when completed. It has one of the largest hedge mazes in the world with paths totaling over 4 miles and a distinctive tower in the middle. Phil has shred his Outback jacket and has a brown V-neck sweater that's a little too tight for him. Somehow I feel like squirming when I see that sweater, it wigs me out, I prefer my Phil in loose-fit shirts thank you.



Buffy & Riley are the first to arrive, they must be fast and aggressive drivers to have consistently beaten Faith & Robin on the road. They find out the next task is a Roadblock that, not surprisingly, involves going through the maze. Riley plunges in.



Adam & Oz arrive next and Adam takes the Roadblock. I dunno, his height may be an advantage here. Faith & Robin park their car, Faith takes the Roadblock, that makes three in a row for her. Yes I've been keeping track, it's my job. Also, I want more shots of her running. I'm a pervert, so sue me.



Xander & Anya arrive, looking a tad worse for wear, the drive is exhausting. I have the feeling that because of Xander's eye, Anya does more of the driving. Xander lets his wife rest and goes into the maze. He decides to try the "keep turning left" rule and promptly find a dead end. Uh-oh, not so smart my Pirate.



Willow & Tara. Following a pattern that the person who doesn't drive to the Villa takes the Roadblock, it's Tara who will go a-mazing [*groan*, watson, can't you come up with anything better?].



Rupert & Randy, Rupert takes the Roadblock with a satisfied smile. He interviews that he is a big fan of puzzles and mazes, recognized the name of the Villa and speculated that it's a task. Randy slides over to Buffy and tries to speak to her, but she's too tense to give him more than a cursory glance. I want her kick his ass up where the sun don't shine. Piss off, Randy.



Somewhere many many miles away, a mechanic tows the helpless AAbot car and with broken English and an assortment of hand gestures, tells them that the fuel tank needs to be drained. The color drains from their face. The extent of their screw up hits them full in the face.



Back at the Roadblock Adam takes one last turn and finds himself at the center. He smiles a small smile of self-congratulation, runs up the stairs on the outside of the tower and gets the clue.



Faith comes through and she yells at Robin that she's found the tower. He high fives himself and beams at how wonderful his girlfriend is. Hot too, I know. Damn it.



The shadows are very short when Snyder & Flutie drive up. Smartass Snyder decides he's the one to do the task. I groan as I realize he's staying on my screen. Copious amount of beeping as we follow him to one dead-end after another.



Riley finds the tower, he three-steps up, grabs the clue and is down in a fraction of a second. I can tell he is enjoying the race, I'm happy for him. Like I said, he and Buffy could have come into the race all stuck up and riding on their fame. I was all prepared to hate them, and though I'm up to meh now, I think if I have to pick the last 6 teams, they'll be in.



TallShort read the clue, they are to drive 22 miles to Venice, park their car at the Tronchetto carpark and find the church of Santa Maria del Giglio where they will get their next clue.



In other news, Sheila starts on the maze just as Rupert finds the tower. Man, the Professor manages to leapfrog a couple of spots. He's impressive, that man.



Xander and Tara meet somewhere in the maze and team together. They find the tower soon after, a sign that their co-operation is working. They run back out to their partners.



Sheila gets the clue. Snyder lets loose a whoop! as he finds the tower. How despicably little I care.



April & Andrew finally arrive. Andrew does the Roadblock, perhaps to atone for his mistake. I have a feeling it's too little too late.



~~~~~



TallShort, Goldies and Team Efficiency park their cars at the Venice carpark and try to figure out how to get into the city. They get onto the bus, which, it being Venice, is a boat rather than a vehicle on wheels.



The tentative alliance of Pirates and Lovebirds arrive, park and head for the bus stop. What do they do next? They go to the counter and ask directions to the church, another sign of good racing skills. No prizes for guessing whose idea that is. My adoration for them cements another block.



They learn that they can take the No. 82 waterbus, but the stop serves buses going both sides and they need to check the sign on the boat.



Music of impending doom greets us as we cut to the earlier boat. Why oh why do I know this was going to happen? It's almost clichéd, that someone'd rush onto the first bus along and it's the wrong one. Robin and Riley puzzle over the route map and they show the others. They look annoyed.



R.Randy arrive at the car park and line up for their bus.



Pirates and Lovebirds waterbus. Xander interviews that they're on the way to Santa Maria del Gigolo [sic], and that he and Anya and Willow and Tara have decided to work together on this part of the leg. It's Giglio, Xander, please don't confuse a saint with a male prostitute.



They disembark at a busy square, spy the routemarker and run straight into the church in search of the clue. Ah, in a small twist, the cluebox is actually outside the church so we see them walking briskly (cos, we never run inside churches, remember children), peering down pews, looking everywhere, but not finding a clue. Anya opens the door of a confession chamber and comes face to face to a rather irate priest. "Bless me father for I have sinned. I'm looking for a clue," she actually has the temerity to say. She's incorrigible, that one, she's going straight to hell.



R.Randy's waterbus arrives, they help a woman with a child and bags get on. How chivalrous.



The accidental tourists get off their wrong waterbus and wait impatiently for the right one. "We've just lost our lead," Buffy sulks. "It's only 4 stops, don't think we lost too much time," Riley comforts her. Suck you lips back in, Golden Girl, it looks very unpretty. Continue like that and the lucrative modeling contract will disappear, you'll have to resort to hawking unfashionable cosmetics like Maybelline.



Meanwhile the Principals drive up at the carpark. The Moms are almost there too. The Principals get on the bus to see the accidental tourists. Disbelief all around. Snyder mutters "Go, go, go" to no one in particular. The Moms park. Snyder stamps his little foot impatiently for the waterbus to leave, but it's waiting for some crates to be loaded. The Moms park, see the waterbus and run. Snyder looks like he will murder the driver any minute soon. The Moms squeeze on and exchange hugs with the Goldies and Team Efficiency. The Principals ignore everyone else.



Back at the church the Pirate and his cohorts discover the cluebox is nowhere inside the church. "May be it's outside?" speculates Tara. Ding! goes the lightbulb and they troop outside and find the clue almost straightaway.



It's a Detour. Teams have to choose between Barca or Bauta. In Barca, teams have to go to a nearby camera shop, pick up a digital camera and take photos of themselves on 3 forms of popular Venetian transportation — a gondola, a vaporetto and a traghetto. In Bauta, they go to the same camera shop, equip themselves with a camera, and take photos of themselves in a full bauta outfit. When they finish, they have to return to the camera shop and make printed copies of the digital photos to get the next clue.



They are not told what any of these terms stand for, and I continue to be vaguely impressed with the Amazing Producers for not spoon-feeding the tasks. Phil tells me what these are though, yay! A gondola is of course the mode de choice for romantics, a vaporetto is the waterbus the teams just came from, and a traghetto is an old gondola that is used to transport people across the canals at set points. A bauta is the outfit of white creepy mask, black robe and trihorn hat that so epitomizes the Venice Carnevale, they can rent one at most mask shops. The boats are better known, but teams have to run around to get 3 photos. They may need to ask about the bauta, but once they figure out what it is, renting one for a photo is easy as mask shops are found at almost every street corner.



The alliance choose the familiar and go for Barca. "The square we got off the waterbus is full of different means of boat transport. We know for certain what vaporetto and gondola are, and we think we know what a traghetto is, we saw a small sign over at the side," Willow explains.



Meanwhile R.Randy, who are out on their own, arrive at the church and spot the cluebox. They go for Barca also.



The mini-bunch arrive on the waterbus (or should I call it a vaporetto now that I know what it's called) and search for the clue. All go for the Barca. That makes it 8 for 8 for the boats. Somewhere, a mask shop owner weeps tears of rejection.



I love the way a traghetto operates. These black gondolas ferry people between the banks of the canal for a small fee, and it's standing room only. Looks kinda rickety and unstable to be standing, but that's just me.



The Pirates/Lovebirds alliance finish their Detour and head back to the camera shop.



The mini-bunch sends Buffy as the rep to ask a vaporetto conductor about the traghetto, and she gets the answer. They all run off to the pick up point. Needless to say, they jostle cos the old gondola is only that big and can take 6 or so people per crossing. The fitter teams get on first, meaning Team Efficiency, Goldies and TallShort finish first. Adam and Riley on that traghetto gave me a bit of a heart attack, I was so afraid they'd fall into the canal.



The Principals and Moms draw the short straw and have to wait, barely fuming, at the side. R.Randy arrive.



Eyepatch and his cohorts print their photos at the 2 terminals at the shop and receive their next clue, which tells them to return to their cars and drive 230 miles to Bellinzona, Switzerland. Once there they are to find the Castello di Montebello, the Pitstop for this leg of the race. I cannot believe it, it's more driving. Do they get car miles the same way they get airmiles?



They get back to the carpark without much problem and drive off happily. "We think we're at the front, or near the front. Hopefully we can keep our position," Willow smiles. I hate clips like this, it gives me wiggy feelings that the Editors are trying to tell me something. My heartstrings are so easily pulled.



Teams Efficiency, Goldies and Tallshort head for the camera shop. Only 2 terminals, and Goldies draw the short straw this time. It takes around 10 minutes for the photos to print, soon the shop is full of obnoxious American racers, taking up space but not purchasing anything. I hope CBS paid an appreciation fee, for loss of business during that time.



Just as the Goldies get their clue, the Moms walk in through the door, followed by R.Randy. The Principals seem to be having a spot of trouble finding the shop.



In an absolutely fantastic bit of camera work, we have a shot of the Efficientmobile leaving the carpark just as the AAbot car arrive. Oh shit, I've totally forgotten about those two, at the back of my mind I've written them off.



April & Andrew park their car. April & Andrew get on the vaporetto. April & Andrew get their clue at the church. April & Andrew go for the Bauta Detour! "I know what a bauta outfit is, I've seen people wear it at Horror Cons, it's a mask, bat cape and executioner's hat, it should be easily found in a costume or mask shop," he says as they run off. That's one thing the boy's done right today.



~~~~~



Phil at a medieval castle that is ... kinda bare. When I think about castles, I think about Windsor, Neuschwanstein, Beauty & the Beast, the grand ones with intact structures and some still in use. Why am I surprised there are castles in the world that have fallen into ruin? I didn't fail history at school, honest, miss. So that's what the Castello di Montebello is like, I have to use my imagination to "see" where the grand rooms are, cos ultimately all I have to work with are some walls and parts of a roof.



There are three UNESCO listed castles in Bellinzona, Phil is at the largest, our Pitstop, and he points out the other two to us, remarking that they are all perched at strategic points on the hillsides surrounding the town.



To reach Bellinzona, teams have to drive through Italy into Switzerland.



Now is time for a little social economics and geography lesson. Switzerland, despite being right smack in the middle of Continental Europe, isn't part of the European Union. It doesn't use the Euro and is staunchly neutral, the last war it fought was over 600 years ago. Centuries of peace means one thing, that a nation's riches have not been diverted to war efforts, freeing up the good Swiss people to concentrate on making watches and of course, making money. Having the most beautiful scenery on Earth is also fairly conducive for its tourism industry.



Going back to the not being in the European Union business, crossing into Switzerland isn't like driving from France to Italy, where the border is just this little sign at the side of the road that says "Welcome to Italy" in 4 languages. The border crossing into Switzerland is really a border, with immigration checks and customs.



Why am I telling you this? Because that's where our racers are at. The first few teams are waved through by the friendly looking Swiss officials, but then they start noticing our intrepid teams. First Team Efficiency have to stop at the side and have their passports examined. Then the Goldies, of all people, are stopped and questioned.



The official asks Buffy & Riley the obvious question, "So, you're Americans?" Riley is like, dude, do you ever watch TV? Like, my girlfriend and I are famous gold medal winners at the Olympics, we're in a hurry and don't want to talk to you. He should have just say yes, and lose the attitude. The official asks where they come from and where they are going.



Now if Rob & Amber were on this race, I'd bet $1 that Rob has spun some sort of tale and asked the border officials to detain and delay teams behind him. No, not bribe, cos Swiss Immigration Officials are not South American bus drivers, attempts to bribe them will have fairly dire consequences. But thankfully (or not, as the case may be), Boston Rob and his pretty bride are not here, so I guess the official is putting the Goldies through the wringer cos, well, cos he can. May be there's a Q&A quota, that so many questions have to be asked per day, and that guy is running low. May be it's the time honored border official mantra, pick an unsuspecting tourist at random and treat them like they're drug smugglers.



Anyway, Riley just wants to get going and tells the uniformed guy they're on a race and they really have to go now. The official is so impressed that ... he tells Riley to pop the trunk. He really is unfazed, this Swiss guy. Riley is getting furious, "you can't treat us like this, we're Americans," he protests.



"Then you should understand the need to check people going through our borders carefully. In America, the entry formalities are even more strict," the official explains. "In Switzerland we don't fingerprint people for no good reason." You know what? Guy has a point. Why does our government insist on always over-reacting? Most people who come into the US just want to get on with their business, visit family, attend meetings, go sightseeing, whatever. The way they are treated, like they are all potential terrorists, smacks of small-mindedness and ignorance.



Okay, I'm stepping off my soapbox now.



It's been a long day, very early start and an intense amount of driving. Xander & Anya arrive at Bellinzona, park their car at the castle and land on the Amazing Bathmat, totally exhausted. They're team number one but they have just about enough energy to give each other a weak hug. Anya says that she's never done so much driving in her life and doesn't want to repeat it soon, she looks completely clapped out. I'm happy for them, they haven't yelled at each other all day, and Anya's stepped up and taken up more of the responsibility, and for that she has my respect.



I expect the Lovebirds to be arriving any minute, but all the minor forshadowing is coming back to kick me in the ass. Tara, who is in the car furiously trying to map-read, tells us that they took a wrong turn in Italy and entered Switzerland via a different route, ending up on a smaller and more windy road, with no cut-throughs to the main highway. They're just going to have to follow the road to the next junction. Shit, shit, shit.



April & Andrew drive into Switzerland. They're waved through, no delays.



Adam & Oz arrive at the Pitstop, looking a little fresher than the Pirates, but not that much better. They're team number two.



Faith & Robin park and manage to run around the car park in the wrong direction, before Faith shouts and they get back on track. Welcome, team number three. Phil asks them if it's been tiring, man he is the master of understatement today isn't he. Robin smiles thinly and says it's been very demanding, mentally and physically.



Buffy & Riley are team number four. Looks like the border guard let them through at the end. Rupert & Randy and Joyce & Sheila arrive one after the other, they're teams numbers five and six respectively. They collapse in a heap at the Amazing Bathmat, to the amusement, and slight concern, of Phil.



Where are Willow & Tara? I'm beside myself with anxiety.



Snyder & Flutie arrive, team number seven. They say something, but I simply can't listen, all I can hear are my teeth grinding.



It's getting dark, the Lovebirds find a roadsign that says Bellinzona, and a picture sign that indicates a castle. Whoopee! They drive up a steep winding hill and arrive at a deserted car park of an medieval castle. No Phil, no routemarker, nothing. They get out of their car to look for an information board.



AAbot car turns off the exit into Bellinzona. This is going to be close.



"Honey I think we have the wrong castle," an anxious looking Tara says to an equally anxious looking Willow. They whip out their map and realize they have indeed gone to the wrong castle.



"Let's hope for the best anyway," Willow tries to smile but she looks close to cracking. Tara leans in and gives her a small encouraging kiss, they take comfort in each other. And I want to kiss and punch Jerry Bruckheimer at the same time, cos I've been clamoring for Lovebird smoochies and he's given me the perfect one at the perfect time, no big buildup, no gratuitous publicity. Just two people who have the utmost respect and love for each other trying to get through a tense situation. And for that I'm grateful. But why does it feel like it's the last chance?



A car arrives at the Castello di Montebello carpark.



Drunken careening cameramen running up to Phil and the bathmat. Who is it? Who? Who? Who?



Oh my god. It's April & Andrew. This means ... OH NO!



Willow & Tara run up to Phil hand in hand, fully prepared for the consequences.



Phil goes "you're the last team to arrive and I'm ..." he pauses. Willow & Tara have cute little frowns on them. And it's Non-elim! I let out the breath I don't know I'm holding. It takes them a second to realize that too and they finally let the tension out. Phil tells them that they're still in the race but of course have to suffer the penalties.



"I've never been so happy to hand over all my money before," says a grinning Willow.



"We won't get any money to start next round, but we'll figure out what to do. We've grown so close since we started the race, we're not going to let that bother us," Tara agrees.



It's my job to recap the episodes, but nowhere in my contract does it state that I have to be impartial. I can't stand Snyder & Flutie. Buffy & Riley started to get into my good books but Riley's antics at the border was so typical of an ugly American it puts me to shame. I have a grudging admiration for Faith & Robin, if they win I'll have no complaints. I applaud Joyce, Sheila and Rupert for coming so far. But I'll make myself clear, in case it isn't already, my favorite team this Race is Willow & Tara, apart from off-the-scale cuteness, they're smart and show a lot of respect for people around them. A couple of unfortunate navigational errors almost cost them, I hope that they will learn from it, cos I, for one, want to see them in the final run-in to the finish line. And I'm not ashamed to say this.





*****



Teaser for Episode 5



Driving through an extremely dark tunnel. "Watch out for that truck! You're too close to the line!" screams Rupert.



Teams argue about who is the best James Bond.



"This is stuff that dreams are made of," Andrew says with a grin as wide as the hellmouth.



"I can't see my fingers," says Robin.



The Moms break down. "It's too much," they plead.





*****



Useful links & information



Euro coins



Torino:

Mole Antonelliana



Venice:

Villa Pisani

Carnevale costumes



Bellinzona:

Bellizona castles



*****

------

quiet thoughts

hidden watson
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby justin » Tue Mar 29, 2005 11:22 am

Well that was certainly a nerve wracking end to the leg. When Willow and Tara got to the castle I was hoping they might just make it ahead of AAbot, but they'd gone to the wrong castle (the fools). When they arrived last I started hoping one of the other teams might have gotten a time penalty (maybe the principles could get one for being annoying?) but that turned out to not be necessary as it was a non elim round - phew :sigh



Hopefully they'll take better care with their map reading in future legs, so as not to put us through that again.



The extra was fun to read, as always. Especially how Willow and Tara managed to get some money for the next leg.



I wonder if the fight between Riley and Randy will affect the race. Will we see them trying to sabotage the other's efforts?



Looking forward to :read more

--

Homer Simpson: When will people learn, democracy just doesn't work.

justin
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby Artemis » Tue Mar 29, 2005 1:55 pm

So, I see you've posted an update... at about 4:30am, local time (don't ask why I'm up that late to begin with). Now some people would say the rational thing to do would be to go to bed and read it in the morning. But that's crazy talk.



This episode had pretty much everything I'm starting to love about The Amazing Race, none of the things I don't (i.e. no Jonathan & Victoria :wink ), plus a whole heap of what I love about TWoP, and a whole heap more of the stuff that only comes from this very fic. I mean, the racing, the competition, teams moving up and down, speed and brains and luck (good and bad) all having their part to play - the producers (i.e. you) really hit the mark this episode. The real producers could take lessons. And the locations - I haven't yet seen a 'real' TAR episode set somewhere I've been, but just reading it I had that whole "Yay! I know that place!" feeling - mainly Venice, but I remember Switzerland a bit from a holiday quite a while ago. But reading about all the teams racing and blundering around Venice, going on the vaporetto, the two-way stops (I've made that mistake :blush ) even Andrew heading for a mask shop, it was great.



Then there's the added goodness of the TWoP snarkiness, and all the Buffy in-jokes - and the supreme self-referential line about shipping people on a reality TV show from reading too much fanfic, when it's a fanfic of a recap of a fanfic of a TV show based on another TV show... and then my head explodes. But in a good way. Oh and at 'guess we know who wears the pants there' regarding Willow, my first thought was to wonder what CBS would make of Debra's "Please" series (they'd probably have to edit out 99% of it, darn it).



And of course, on some level I knew that Willow and Tara wouldn't get Philiminated this early on, unless the rest of the story was just the two of them enjoying smoochies in some tropical Sequesterville resort (doesn't sound so bad when I put it that way), but boy did the edge of my seat get a workout anyway. Having all the teams arrive one by one, and then AAbot finally showing up, after messing up time and again, and still no Lovebirds... it was like watching that woman push those massive hay bales around for eight hours just because she didn't want to let down her sister. But by the grace of the gods and Phil, the Lovebirds were saved :party



And of course there was the kiss... perfectly timed, putting aside the angst that that might have been the only one we loyal viewers got to see during an episode, of course. Not exploited for ratings or sensationalised or trivialised, just there, in its proper context, tender and loving... if only real TV were like that more often.



Then there was the extra, which was fascinating - all the stuff that goes on behind the scenes, you imaging the Race consisting of a bunch of teams and some fast-moving guys with steadycams, but then you realise it's a whole production, and wow. Plus, Riley and Randy :punch I'm not in favour of people jumping straight to the fisticuffs to sort out their problems, but I've gotta admit that was kind of funny. Still, tensions will certainly be high in a non-funny way next time they bump into each other during the Race, especially if it's a tense racing situation :paranoid



Then the Lovebirds, and I am so full of admiration for Tara - not that Willow (or me) would have held it against her for misreading the map on that stage, but she completely restored her reputation as a racer par excellence there, even though it wasn't technically part of the race. But they did have a camera crew along, so hopefully that'll be featured next episode?



And then back at the hotel, with the :wtkiss , that was so sweet and gentle and lovely :blush And apropos of nothing, it reminded me of this cute little thing I saw when I was staying in Lucerne, it wasn't a farm-hotel but there was a big field full of grass in front of it, and in the morning a handful of kittens would go prowling through it, chasing mice or something (or who knows what they were doing, kittens are admittedly a bit insane at the best of times). The grass being long, you'd just see these little tails poking up, creeping around in circles, and then one of them would pounce on something and it'd be like a dolphin jumping out of the water, this kitten would just pop up out of the grass and disappear back down into it. You could just sit on the balcony and watch them, it was a real not-a-care-in-the-world moment. So, y'know, with Willow and Tara being all tender and lovey and :heart in their room, I was just picturing kittens bouncing around outside.



And it's almost 6am, and I appear to be rambling with little or no relevance to the story. No surprise there then. So thanks for the update, the plunger on the dome was funny, and yay generally :bow And now I'm off to sleep :sleepy

Chris Cook

Through the Looking-glass

A Willow and Tara for every world.

Smut Bunnies!: Saving the world, sexily!

Artemis
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby Still Waters T » Tue Mar 29, 2005 5:05 pm

Hey :wave



Seems justin and Artemis have said all there is to gush over about Willow and Tara in the update, so I won't say more than that up until now I had been wondering about when Tara would make her mark in the race, and not Willow who it seems usually figures out the clues. Awesome way she did it too. It's easy to read maps wrong on the go, and all that pressure to get it right and win the money - poor Tara. :| But nice way of getting money for the next part of the race! :clap Way to go Tara! :D



Quote:
Riley is getting furious, "you can't treat us like this, we're Americans," he protests.


Did anyone (non-American) roll their eyes at this? :p Cos I know I did! :sigh :laugh



Quote:
"Then you should understand the need to check people going through our borders carefully. In America, the entry formalities are even more strict," the official explains. "In Switzerland we don't fingerprint people for no good reason." You know what? Guy has a point. Why does our government insist on always over-reacting? Most people who come into the US just want to get on with their business, visit family, attend meetings, go sightseeing, whatever. The way they are treated, like they are all potential terrorists, smacks of small-mindedness and ignorance.


I really really loved this! Thank you soo much for writing that! :clap The last time I went to the US I had to show my passport 13 times (yes, I counted the times) :eyebrow and I had only travelled from my own country, to the Netherlands to change planes and then on to the US. At the end of the trip I was exhausted, pissed off, and kinda feeling like a terrorist. (And I can't for the life of me think of why the security at the American airport should think it necessary to search an old pensionist woman.) :crazy Oh and on the way home, I was checked for drugs in my bags (none found of course), which was when my mom exploded and yelled at the officer :lmao but that was in my own country (and completely beside the point).



Very nice update! :D Can't wait to read more. :bounce



Liv :sheep

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity...and I'm not sure about the universe. - Einstein


What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters to what lies within us. - R.W.Emerson

Still Waters T
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby TaraBaby77 » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:28 pm

Holy Frilly Hecking :sheep



I have never watched that show, but have heard of it. But this, this is awesome. I am so excited to read more. Ow, I love the teams too, definitely funny and witty. But, I'm going to stop before it sounds like I'm babbling... More more more please??? Yay, another fun exciting story to read... =)

Aaron

'Tarababy77'


"Don't buy into all the media crap. Love yourself for who you are, not what others THINK you should look like. It's DEFINITELY more important in this life to love each other despite our imperfections." - Amber Benson

TaraBaby77
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 4

Postby JustSkipIt » Wed Mar 30, 2005 8:52 am

Hidden Watson – Well you must be burning the late night oil (or whatever time it is there :grin ) to be producing so many updates in such a short time. This update had so many great moments and things I wanted to comment on so I’ll try to go through it in a moderately methodical fashion.



Quote:
It's a shame about the lack of W/T smoochies, but I will probably start taking liberties with that. After all, I'm the producer of this "show", not Jerry Bruckheimer, not Les Moonves, and I need my smoochies
Must say that I am certainly taking the liberties with the smoochies on Survivor (or will be soon). I can’t really imagine how I would write a decent Kitten story with the CBS editorial policies.



Now on to the episode. Phil in Outback jacket: did you see him in the shirt last night? Not my type but he really looked great. The bit about Faith and sex was good but this
Quote:
11.23pm. Lovebirds. Can't tell what ridiculous outfits they may be wearing underneath their raingear, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say, colorful and uncoordinated.
So wonderful. On most Bufffy DVDs (or maybe it just seems like most) there is a bit with the costume coordinator or whatever and I always wonder what possesses her to show her face. I mean really?



Quote:
I had images of him with Buffy, Anya and even Joyce . Heh, I'm shipping a racer on a reality tv show, I must be reading too much fanfic.
Hysterical and I think that Chris said it better than I could (or than I have the energy to do).



Quote:
We've seen more than our fair share of pricks on the Race: TAR3 Ian and TAR6 Jonathan to name a couple, but at least they were entertaining villains.
Have you been asleep for the last 4 weeks? How about TAR7: Ray? What a jerk and again I say good riddance.



Quite interesting your touch with the mandatory 45 minute reststop. Why? To get some group screen time? As a setting for the “pants on Willow” joke? Just because you couldn’t imagine having them drive that far? And of course Aabot don’t check the gas. Idiots (even if fictional).



Fun maze challenge (how do they get out after they find the clue? Do they have to renavigate the maze to get out?). Great snark about Robin high-fiving himself! It seems to me that Aabot arrive very quickly considering their coin and gas stupidity. I would have expected them to arrive long after the others are all gone. I know it’s necessary because otherwise how would W/T come in last even though they get lost but seems like the timing is off.



How great about the water bus thing going the wrong way but too bad about X/A and W/T searching inside the church. Look around guys! Great detour too! Too bad about Adam and Riley not falling in the canal. Like you I hate that AR editing. A “friend of a friend” (classic huh?) was an editor on TAR6.



Yay for the well placed W/T smoochie though. Well done. And of course the after: so wonderful to be seeing that these two have cemented their love. It seems that in the short course of about 9 days or so, they have gone from ld-dating and not out to being out and definitely in love! That’s just so cool. I love that they seem to really love each other and really appreciate the skills and abilities in each other that are complementary.



Quote:
"Thanks," Tara distractedly took the water bottle they filled up at the Pitstop, she was looking at a group of teenagers with a pensive expression.
Again to contrast with Chris’s SB story, these teenagers seem to be wholesome and generous whereas the ones in SB were just trying to scam looks and pictures of W/T in their spy gear. Hmmm… Coincidence? I don’t think so. The love scene: beautiful and nuff said.



Edited again to say that Ray is the jerk, not Rob or Ron.

"It is better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all- Georges Courteline

"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there." - Chare Booth Luce

My latest story: Survivor - Ash Island

Edited by: JustSkipIt at: 4/9/05 5:52 pm
JustSkipIt
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 4

Postby Irene73 » Wed Mar 30, 2005 3:04 pm

TOILET PLUNGERS ANYONE? :rofl



Howdy Madame Watson:bigwave



First of all I gotta tell you, when I saw your replies and "NO. 1 FAN IRENE73"...I felt humbled, honored, and :happycry . Thank you:blush :p :stop



Yeah child of the 80's...and Duran Duran...OMG...My best friend and I were like the biggest Duranians ever!!! There was this building at our Junior High School that resembled the front of the church in the video "Save a Prayer" and he and I would always reenact the bit where the fella's would walk up to it slowly, then look up. God I miss those days!!!:( :sob



So now on to TAR replies:

First, I was thinking about the nicknames you've given the different assembled teams and thought "Wow...pretty accurate and funny", and then out of nowhere I thought about Joyce and Sheila and the word "MOO" came to me. Anyone up for a burning at the stake...anyone?:laugh

Team MOO...or M.O.O...but what would it stand for? Still have no clue.:wtf :whistle



Also...the fight between Riley and Sucks his cheeks in, I always thought that participants in any reality type show are to sign a contract stating that they cannot engage in any type of physical violence that results in causing harm to others. Don't participants usually get kicked off a show if they do? And if that is the case, what does that mean for team "Goldies" since it was Riley who threw the first punch?:shock :gnome :paranoid :p ray



The bit about Willow wearing the pants in the family, I always thought so too. She might be lithe and shorter, but she is a firecracker. Not so much butch as assertive...head of household...don't worry baby I'll kill that spider for you...I'll take good care of you...type of persona.:wtkiss



And now onto my favorite quotes...hmmm....hmmm,



1. Regarding Rupert and Randy:

"I'm shipping a racer on a reality TV show, I must be reading to much fanfic."

Aren't we all...VIVA LE FANFIC!!!!!!!:bow :bow



2. "My girlfriend is staying with me and I'm in a good mood...OK."

Who can blame you...YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!!!:banana :eatme :bounce :D



3. Diesel vs. Unleaded

"April is blubbering."

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."..."Have you seen my boyfriend Warren?"..."Warren where are you?"..."Warren is my boyfriend, if I stay here he'll come for me."...Yeah ok April, you keep thinking that.:lol



4. Admitting to yourself that the sight of Faith running is HOT, does not a pervert make...it is ADMIRATION.:D



5. Regarding Anya's comment to the priest:

"Bless me father for I have sinned, I'm looking for a clue."

Didn't she spend seasons 3 thru 7 doing just that?:wtf



6. And my dear Madame Watson...please, please, please, step back up on your soap box. It's about time someone said and spoke the truth about America's borders. I'm first generation Mexican / American, and anytime I travel to Tijuana or Rosarito...to party, but they don't know that...I get the 3rd, 4th, and 5th, degree from the border patrol coming back into California. And that despite the fact that I submit my social security card, Drivers License, work I.D. and even birth certificate. I was almost fingerprinted once, until a senior officer came and said I was cleared to go. Never understood why, I grew up in California and I don't have an accent. Weird!!! Gotta give props to my folks for taking a chance and giving us a better life.:applause



And last but not least,

I defy anyone to say that Willow and Tara are not the best team on the race and the favorite to win. My predictions for the outcome are as follows...in regards to the teams that are still left in the race:



1. Willow and Tara...yeah, that's right!!!

2. Team Efficiency

3. Tall Sort if the Goldies get eliminated for fighting...if not then the Goldies.

4. The Pirates

5. Rupert Randy

6. MOO...I mean The Moms

7. April and Andrew

8. The Principles



So once again I thank you for sharing your vision with us and I look forward to Updatey Goodness Soon.:bow :applause :pride



Saluting you while head-bopping to the sounds of "The Clash",

Irene:pride :flower

Irene73
 


Re: The Amazing Kitten Race - Episode 3 Extra

Postby meretricious » Wed Mar 30, 2005 8:28 pm

hey watson, rl has really cut into my feedback time lately, trust that i've been reading and immensely enjoying all of your updates these last few days. caught this update yesterday right before i left for work, and before you got the extra posted, so i had it waiting for me when i got home. double my pleasure! (good thing, too, thanx to a slow barrista i was almost late for work anyway, and i wouldn't have been able to put off reading the extra).

so not being a follower of tar on tv, i didn't know there was such a thing as a non- elimination round, my heart was totally in my throat even though i couldn't imagine you eliminating our girls yet. have to agree with chris that it's really fun when all the contestants are running around someplace i've actually been to (first time i was in italy we took pics of ourselves on every different form of transport, including vaporettos, but not traghettos, we had 9).

nice to see xander and anya being a little better to each other, maybe there's hope for them yet. loved all of the little snarky moments ( i spy with my own little eye...) but i think my favorite image is aprilbot wandering around the maze. i can just picture her walking up to people like on buffy "hi, i'm looking for the exit, have you seen the exit?" also, snyder as a rat in a maze, perfect imagery, can't believe the principals are still in this, wtf?

and then your extra love how adversity brings w and t even closer together, can easily see most of these teams self destructing in that situation. every update to this fic, first you make me laugh out loud with the snark (and the smarts, snark without intelligence is just mean and dull) and then you make me swoon with the sweetness. i so love this! (did have a moment where i crossed this with ash island in my mind and thought "wow, riley's sure getting around on that bad leg).

and the biggest sign i'm completely smitten here, i actually watched 15 min. of the real tar last night, the boyfriends not letting rob and amber into their taxi bus was hysterical.~mary

take me somewhere we can be alone
make me somewhere i can call a home~zero 7

Edited by: meretricious at: 3/30/05 7:31 pm
meretricious
 

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