Author's note: All bow to Jessie. She rocks.
PS: Sorry its been a while. I've decided to live my life as a line from an Indigo Girls song: "Once upon a time, I was nobody's fool. Two Jobs and showing up for school..." Yes, I now have 2 jobs. Which means I work, show up for class, and occassionally sleep. Sorry. That's about all I've got time for right now. This means what to Kitties? It means that updates will be slow. I hardly ever see my beta, the awesomest Jessie, anymore and ... lol. I hardly ever see DAYLIGHT anymore! *G*
If you give up on me, I'll understand. But you have been forwarned.
I'm off to frost a cake.
:-P
Oh yeah, feedback would be nice. IM's would be nice. ...assuming I'm ever on again! *G*
-Ker
********
Willow stood in the garden in the back yard. The moon acted as her only light. She had forgone her computer work, unable to keep her mind on task, and come out to the small garden that edged in the plotline.
The herb garden was Willow’s baby. There were two small Bonsai trees that Buffy claimed to be hers; it was obvious as they browned from neglect. The rosebushes had always been Joyce’s favorite and were now Dawn’s pride and joy.
She ducked her head, sniffing one of the blossoms deeply. Willow smiled, somehow knowing Joyce’s presence was deeply engrained in the garden.
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered aloud. “She’s all I’ve ever wanted…ever needed,” she spoke, not expecting the night air to reply.
The breeze rustled in the tree leaves and a cricket sang. Out of the corner of her eye, Willow saw the lights in the attic room come on.
Tara must be up, she thought, seeing the same lights flick out and then the lights in their old room come on and then off.
Back to her own bed. She sighed, feeling oddly disappointed.
“How’s life with a wife and kids?” a voice said, a brooding figure sliding around the corner of the fence.
“Hey Spike,” Willow said, not even surprised at the vampire’s sudden appearance.
“Feeling off, red? Not your usual over-caffinated self.”
Willow shrugged. “I dunno. I feel just like I’ve felt for the last few years.”
He smirked. “Except now you’re reminded of what you’re missing?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Love’s a bitch that way, ain’t it? Its like a drug dealer,” he said grumpily. “Gives us a taste of what we want…enough so we need it for the rest of our lives. Enough to get you hooked, then it’ll string you along for eternity.”
“Six years of with-drawl sucks, Spike,” Willow said, her pouty face in full affect. “I’m tired of hurting for something I can’t have.”
“Who says you can’t?”
“She did.”
He nodded. “Six years ago.”
Willow sighed again. She frowned for a moment before speaking. “Spike? You should tell her.”
“I think that’s your job, love.”
She shook her head. “Buffy. You should tell her how you feel. Six years from now she may not be here. Buffy’s a night-by-night girl and we’re really lucky to still have her around, you know? Giles says she’s probably the longest-lived slayer and…I don’t know if I’d wait for her luck to run out, if I were you. I think that when she gets back tonight, you need to tell her how you feel. You need to just…kiss the hell out of her!” she said. She turned and headed towards the house.
“That’s what you think, Red? Big words…unless you do it yourself.”
"There's a difference, Spike. The woman I'm in love with isn't the slayer."
***********
Something was watching her; like prey being sized up by predator.
She felt it in her sleep.
The small hairs on the nape of her neck rose in anticipation.
Her eyes opened slowly and, as her conscience caught up with the rest of her, she took in her surroundings. The unwavering stare of two greenish blue eyes watched her from the foot of the bed.
“Hi, Willow managed to mutter, her voice filled with sleep. She shifted in bed and leaned against the headboard, regarding the child with a curious glance.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
Willow smiled slightly, knowing the feeling full well. “Don't you know where your mommy’s room is?”
Hannah nodded, her bed-mussed locks rattling with the motion.
“Don’t you want to sleep in her bed?”
“No.”
The redhead turned and looked at the clock.
Four a.m? Great. “Ok,” she replied simply. Willow ran her hand over her face, trying to rub the sleep away.
Didn’t I just fall asleep? This is ridiculous.The small girl shifted closer to the head of the bed. “Can I sleep here? You’re nice and you’ll keep the baddies away.”
“The baddies? Are there bad things in your room?” Willow asked, not sure if there was a legitimate bad-guy on the loose or if it was instead a figment of the child’s imagination.
Hannah nodded, scooting even closer to Willow on the bed. “Shadows make scary shapes on the wall.”
Willow smirked. “I know. Sometimes bad shadows scare me, too.”
“Yeah?”
Willow nodded. “Know what helps?”
“What?”
She reached to the bottom shelf of her nightstand. “I’ve had this for a long time and when I get scared, I cuddled it really tight. She’ll protect you,” she said, handing the child a black and white stuffed animal.
“Wow.”
“Her name’s Miss Kitty Fantastico the Second,” Willow informed, watching the young girl regard the stuffed animal.
“That’s a big name.”
Willow nodded and smiled. “But I bet it’d be ok if you just called her Miss Kitty. Does that sound Ok to you?”
The child grinned, hugging the animal close. “Can we sleep in here? Me and Miss Kitty?”
“Yeah, I think that’d be ok,” Willow said, tucking the young girl in on the far side of the bed. “But I should go tell your mom so she doesn’t worry when she can’t find you in the morning, ok? I’ll be right back,” she said, standing and padding down the attic-room steps to Tara’s room.
“Tara?” Willow whispered, knocking quietly on the door. “Tare?” she called in a slightly louder whisper when there was no initial response. She turned the doorknob slowly in her palm and cracked the door, peaking in cautiously. The blonde woman, splayed across what Willow knew as ‘Tara’s side’ of the bed, was oblivious to Willow’s whispers. The redhead tiptoed into the room and knelt bedside. “Tara?” she whispered again, placing a gentle hand on Tara’s cheek. “Tara.”
“Hmm?” the blonde turned her head into Willow’s touch, moving purely on instinct. “Will?” she asked as she began to come around.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me,” she said softly, using the term of endearment without even considering it first.
Tara pulled herself from sleep even further hearing Willow use that nickname. “What’s wrong?” she asked, opening her eyes and taking in the incredibly sexy form of bed-mussed Willow.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Willow said, smiling and resting her chin on the edge of the bed. “I wanted you to know so you don’t panic tomorrow morning--Hannah’s decided my room is the safest in the house.”
“What?” Tara asked, frowning and sitting up slightly.
“She had a bad dream or something and came to my room. She’s goona stay the night up there; I just didn’t want you to panic or anything if you didn’t see her in her bed tomorrow morning.”
Tara sighed and sat up. “I’ll come get her.”
“No, you don’t have to,” Willow replied, placing a hand on Tara’s knee. “She’s fine. I don’t mind.”
“I know, but I mind. She knows she shouldn’t just wander into some random person’s room,” Tara said, stopping as she realized how that sounded. She looked up and caught the brief hurt look that passed over Willow’s face. “…not that…not that you’re a random person to me. But to her, you are. To her you’re a s-stranger and she shouldn’t be c-comfortable with…oh geez,” she said rubbing her face with one hand.
“I know what you meant,” Willow muttered, standing up.
“I don’t think you do,” Tara replied, standing toe to toe with her former lover. “You’re family to me, Willow, b-but she just met you.”
“I know what you meant,” the redhead repeated. “I just…look, Tara, it’s goona take time for me to get used to the fact that there’s a part of your life this big that I wasn’t involved in. I know that sounds really selfish -and it is selfish- but it’s true. I knew we were leading different lives. Hell, I was ok with the fact that you might be with someone-I just wasn’t prepared for her to be a six year old.”
“You were ok with that? With me being with someone else?”
Willow frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I wasn’t ok with you being with someone else,” Tara admitted softly. “I guess I-“
“Really?”
Tara nodded. “I really had a hard time with that idea. Dawn helped with it a lot, though.”
“How?”
The blonde shrugged. “She reminded me that I was the one who left. That this is my fault,” she said, gesturing to the distance between them.
“Maybe it was for the best, though,” Willow mused. “If you hadn’t have gone, we might not have Hannah.”
Tara grinned when she heard ‘we.’ “Speaking of Hannah, I
should get her.”
“You really don’t have to, Tara,” Willow said. “I don’t mind.”
The blonde sighed. “Yeah?”
“Honest.”
“Can I come check on her?”
Willow nodded. “Re-tuck her in-- the right way this time; I’m sure I messed it up somehow.”
“I doubt it,” Tara replied, following Willow up the stairs to the attic room. She smiled and looked around the homey room, smiling when she saw her daughter curled up in Willow’s huge bed, her arms wrapped around a black and white stuffed animal. ”She’s out like a light.”
Willow smirked at the child in bed. “She hogs the bed like her mother.” When she left the girl had been curled in one small corner of the bed. Now, Hannah was spread across the width of the King sized bed, taking up as much of it as her tiny body could.
Tara blushed. “You got used to it.”
“Yeah, but that’s only because I was usually too exhausted to care,” Willow replied with a self-indulgent smirk. She chuckled as she watched Tara’s face blush even further. “Not that I’m complaining!”
“That bed is huge,” Tara commented, trying to sway the conversation for a while.
“Yet she’s managed to take up all but a foot,” Willow remarked, gently moving the child back into her spot on the bed. “There. Now there’s enough room for everyone else!”
“You’re going to get kicked,” Tara warned softly. “She kicks in her sleep. If you’re not used to it, you’ll be hurting in the morning.”
“I’m um…definitely not used to that.”
“If you’re not going to let me move her then why don’t you sleep in the big bed and I’ll stay here with her?” Tara offered. “I’m used to getting kicked all night.”
“No, no,” Willow said, sighing and rubbing her eyes. “I didn’t mean for this to turn into a big thing, Tara. I just wanted you to know where she was.”
“Oh.” Tara said, looking down. “We’ll if she gets to be too much, come get me.”
“Tare…” Willow called after the woman, sensing her desire to help. “Why don’t you act as the buffer?”
“Buffer?”
Willow nodded, pulling the covers back on her side of the bed. “Sleep between me and Hannah?”
“I don’t know…”
The redhead snickered. “What? You think I want to be kicked all night? I don’t’ think so. She’s your kid--you get beat up.”
Tara grinned. “I just…I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“I can put her back in her bed if you want.”
“No,” Tara said. “I just…” she gestured between herself and Willow. “I don’t know, Will.”
“I’ll keep my hands to myself,” Willow said softly.
Tara blushed. “Yeah, but I don’t know if I can,” she whispered.
Willow’s eyes felt as if they were popping out of her head. She certainly wasn’t used to Tara being so forward. “I’m willing to risk it,” she returned. “Come on,” she said, holding up the blankets.
The blonde smiled, feeling the blush on her cheeks, crawled into bed next to her daughter. “Willow?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think tomorrow m-maybe you and I could…”
Willow noted Tara’s hesitation. “Whatever it is, baby, the answer’s yes.”
"What a curious thing to be so upset about. Nature delights in diversity. Why don’t human beings?" -HBO Southern Comfort
by xita » Thu Jul 04, 2002 3:23 pm 
I know you can write smoochies, cause I just went and read, "Shadowy Bridge." 
**HUGS** I was just giving you a hard time. I sorry... 
at: 7/4/02 2:30:43 pm
Okay... I see. But... but.... 
I can feel W/T smoochies r gonna be comin soon, hopefully! Can't wait 4 ur next update! 
Thank you.