Here you go kittens... I am off for a shower.
Katharyn
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Title: The Sidestep Chronicle – Being in the Happy (Part 89)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome. katharynrosser@hotmail.com
Spoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe though reference is made to events that occur in both realities.
Summary: They are in love and they are getting closer. Heck, just read it okay? I am sick of making these summaries up and not giving anything away!
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: 15
Couples: Willow and Tara. See that was easy wasn't it.
Notes: Nope.
Thanks To: Kerry for her usual fine job. Jo for all that she was able to do. Missing you and you might notice stuff creeping into this thing that is a consequence of your absence. Or you might not. It is planning ahead babe. Xita who, this morning, we have established has figured out the definition of cute in new and interesting ways.
The Sidestep Chronicle
Being in the Happy
By
Katharyn Rosser
It was a giant jelly doughnut. Doughnuts were definitely of the good and this one was all sugary too… but it was going away from her as fast as it’s little legs – they were such little legs for such a big doughnut - could carry it. “Don’t go…” she said plaintively. She said it to herself, because the doughnut was already long gone… in fact, when she blinked, the dream was gone too.
She was sorry to see the back of that dream – unlike so many others.
Instead of the dream there was just a vision. A vision that more than compensated for the loss of that sugary goodness filled dream. She was just barely awake and Tara was already filling her vision. It was a vision of Tara she knew she was never going to tire of. Her girl… her girl asleep with her head on the pillow next to her. A head that had everything that heads needed. Lovely, long, hair… the sort that a person could brush for hours and know that the owner was loving every moment of the pampering.
And that beautiful face with the… eyes. God the eyes. She loved looking into those big blue eyes… even if she couldn’t see them right now as they were closed. Which was the sort of thing that you expected while someone was sleeping. But the lips, she could see the lips too. Attention to detail… it was a sure sign, if she’d still needed one, that she was smitten. She was like a smitten kitten and that feeling of joy wasn’t fading at all. It wasn't going to anytime soon – she was sort of looking in the region of decades before anything about that even started to change. Plurals of decades. Lots and lots of decades. And even then… it would probably be fading eyesight that lessened her appreciation – not the vision itself. If anything, right now, it was getting more and more intense as they got closer and closer to each other.
They’d been waking up together for quite a while now and in that time Willow had always enjoyed the physical presence of another human being there with her – just as she liked to fall asleep that same way. In fact she’d enjoyed the physical presence of this particular, wonderful, human being. Falling asleep and waking up… it had taken her some time to realise why, even during the bad days, they were her favourite times of day. It was because, whilst Tara was always supporting her, it had been when they were so close to each other physically. When she could feel Tara’s warmth. Smell her. Enjoy just being there with her.
She’d needed and liked that.
And it had also been, because Tara was suffering in her own dreams back then, that was the time that she could support Tara – give most back to her. The time that Tara, without saying a word, had needed her most. That helped Willow a lot to be able to help when she was needed. But now, now that they’d decided that they were together… and they were waking up that way… mmmm. Together. They had been together for three weeks, two days, Willow looked at the clock across the room, ten hours and a few minutes. Officially together. And they just kept getting closer. More comfortable with each other with every word. Every gesture. Every touch and every breath. Falling for each other more and more deeply. Love seemed bottomless. And falling seemed strangely like ascending. She often felt dizzy with it all.
Dizzy in a good way.
They were really together now. They were… well it was all different even if she wasn’t sure quite how. Yes, they both knew they belonged to the other, but apart from that the changes were sort of subtle. And sort of huge too. Subtly huge. They were still living together in the same house. They were still eating together at the same times at the same table, having the same food. Except for carrots – which Tara was not a fan of. They were still sleeping in the same bed. They were still falling asleep with an arm draped around the other.
They were still waking up together, like this morning, after they had done that falling asleep thing. Just like today. She brushed Tara’s hair from her face so she could get a better look at her baby. ‘Baby.’ She still liked that. Baby. She had this woman to call her baby. Like wow! Who would have guessed when she was brought back in that box that this was what awaited her?
They weren’t avoiding the intimacy either anymore… they were pretty much seeking the intimacies out now. Undressing and getting ready for bed in front of each other, which they had previously avoided, was pretty much a big exercise in tantalising each other about the ‘when’ now. ‘When’ would come slowly – they were making their way to that. Slowly and surely and Willow couldn’t even fret at the delay because the waiting room was just as good as the journey – though maybe not the destination itself.
She wanted to be there… but not yet.
At least… she breathed in and she could smell Tara’s sweet scent. Her baby had showered before bed last night and the shampoo… oh the shampoo was so fragrant. Wild flowers…
So she could smell now, but she did want to taste soon too.
It was definitely getting time to taste. Past time to taste. She wanted to taste now being as she had thought of it, but Tara was still asleep. Maybe when she woke up… but she would have to be careful how she put that desire. If she said that she wanted taste… then Tara might get the wrong idea. Or maybe too much of the right idea. She meant that she wanted to be using her tongue – but that could be misconstrued too.
She wanted to kiss with tongue. They were at that now. They had to be there by now. Now was definitely the time for tongue.
Since they’d been together it was just… different. They did the same things but they were always doing them with the other in mind. Just walking by each other was an excuse to breathe the other’s scent deep into their lungs and their consciousness. An excuse to touch the back of each other’s hands with an outstretched finger and in the last few weeks there had been some bolder touching than that going on in passing. Pressing against each other, folding the other in their arms just for the sake of giving them a hug.
A hand finding a knee when they were sat together studying – and Tara had been doing more and more of that. Hand finding butt too… All the touching had developed after they’d started to kiss. They knew that they were the one for each other… but they were still working their way along gradually. Kissing had sort of stalled though – short of how the French did it apparently. It was kissing but not with tongue.
That was the taste that she wanted and she wanted it soon. They were moving slowly and it was a physical movement… because emotionally Willow couldn’t believe that they could get any closer… any more… than they already were.
She had thought that every day… but every day she found herself closer to Tara anyway. And Tara said the same… they just kept becoming more and more… well more. Them. One. Together.
More and more in love.
They’d had their first kiss… and their second… and their third. And probably their twentieth or so… but now Willow wanted tongue. The whole thing… not just teasing at her lips – maybe touching her teeth… she wanted their tongues to be as entwined as they sometimes were when they woke up in bed. Dancing as… well they hadn’t danced since they’d got together – there had been the special meal in the holiday… that dance had been nice. And… well Willow wanted that again too.
She wanted so many things and they were all Tara. She wanted everything that Tara did. She wanted Tara.
And I’ve got her.
And she’s got me.
She kissed Tara on the cheek that she had moved the hair to uncover and when Tara started to stir she couldn’t think for a moment that she was unhappy about disturbing her. Much as she loved to watch sleeping Tara, wakey Tara was even better. She laid her hand on her love’s side and it was just a reaction when Tara’s hand came to rest on hers. Automatic. They were so attuned… it had to be fate.
Willow was liking fate more and more every day that passed.
Now if fate would just give her some tongue kissing then that would be very nice, thank you.
Kissing Tara had become the first thing that she did… the best way to start every single day. Tara spluttered her way out of whatever dream she might have been having. Splutter. Oh very sexy love of mine.
Sexy enough to be Tara.
It wasn’t as if they hadn’t got to some hands on fun in their more recent evenings together – so where was the tongue? They’d been doing the touching thing in the days and in bed too… Stroking. Holding… those had proven to be fun. Tara felt nice. Being felt by Tara was nice. But now Willow wanted... to really kiss her. To kiss her as deeply as she loved her baby.
And she wanted to say something that they’d never really thought they needed to say. It had just seemed all so obvious and perhaps a little bit superfluous after what they’d already been through. Willow wanted to be the first to say a few little words to Tara.
But that could come after the kissing with tongue.
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Tara stretched and her toe found something smooth and also sort of knobbly. It took a moment to realise that it was probably an ankle… Willow ankle. At least it better be Willow ankle because if it was anyone else’s ankle then there would be trouble.
Willow was there, next to her, just as she had been last night when they went to bed but probably more mussed up – she wasn't sure as she hadn’t opened her eyes yet. She pulled her foot up along from the knobble and she knew that it had definitely been an ankle… because there was the smooth calf under her big toe. Just the feel of Willow made her want to purr with contentment. They belonged to each other.
Never mind fate… this was the real deal.
One day… one day there would be naked Willow beside her instead and a question about ‘how they were feeling’ when they woke up would take on an entirely new meaning. Not that they’d been doing so badly in the feeling without the nudity. Clothes could be lifted, pulled aside… worked around. They’d been learning a lot of the methods of doing that. Just not taking them all off for the sake of being together. Not yet.
Under her palm and her fingers was fabric, and she had to gauge the position from experience and from touch alone. It definitely wasn’t on her own body… or on the bed. Which meant that it was on Willow. Willow was in her hands. Again. She gave a little sympathetic stroke with those fingers as her own knee bent and the toes pulled up towards Willow’s knee. A stroke that changed in mid-movement to allow her to have her hand on the outer curve of her love’s rear.
Only a little pressure needed to be applied to bring Willow into her… and Willow seemed more than happy to snuggle up like that. Snuggling was a big thing for Willow. Not that Tara was in any way against it but it was the word that Willow liked as much as the doing. That was what she said when she wanted to be a little physical with Tara… in ever-changing ways as they felt their way along.
Now that they were feeling their way.
Willow had said that she wanted ‘snuggle’ and they’d held each other for the first time. At least when they had been holding just for the sake of holding. Really held each other. Just because it felt good. Just to be with each other – rather than to provide comfort or warmth. Now they were doing that all the time, that was just them as they were now. Not just in a bed… on the couch, in the kitchen. Wherever they were.
And Tara liked it all.
Then, a few days later, Willow had told her again that she wanted to ‘snuggle’ and there had been something in the tone of her voice that had reminded her of the first time – when they’d done the holding. That afternoon, with Willow in her lap as she sat in the armchair, there had been lips. First there had been holding and then there were lips too.
Actual lips. Soft, delicately placed lips that barely parted. Lips without ravaging, thrusting tongues – or actually any tongue at all. Tara had wondered where Willow had learned to kiss her like that – to have that effect on her. The effect of her heart pounding while everything seemed so calm. Of things melting inside her. But then she hadn’t really cared… she’d just lost herself in the succession of tiny kisses on her face, her hands and her lips. They touched her and withdrew like ripples against the shore of a lake on a warm, calm day. Barely moving. Always there… but never the same. Ever changing without being anything more than peaceful.
Peacefully exciting.
They were definitely kisses rather than smoochies though. Willow seemed to like to call them smoochies but it was kissing to Tara. In ‘smoochies’ there was smooching. This was just kisses and kissing. And like everything else that she did with Willow it was at the bare minimum nice… usually bordering on exciting. It was funny though… one thing never really led to another with them. They always found a level… stopped there for a little while. Things developed later on… and then they led to another.
Willow, Willow had called that, the afternoon in Tara’s lap, her first kiss. Her first kiss and it really was. Tara liked to think of it that way for herself ignoring the bad old days, but for Willow it really was. When Tara and the… other… Well they had never just been together… holding. Never just kissing… not without any other motive being behind it. There had always been the thought of playtime behind that… and not just from the other. Tara had been guilty of enjoying the moment… but it couldn’t compare in the slightest to the love she felt for her Willow all the time.
When her Willow told her that, that it was the first time for her, she had started to babble. Willow usually did… babble was what Willow did to get her feelings out and sometimes, Tara just took pity on her and showed her that she understood. She’d admitted that she had never been kissed like that either. Whether fast or slow it was delicious and it was beautiful.
It was her idea of heaven… but heaven… seemed to have many different levels and Willow was taking her to all of them. One by one.
Some nights later again… Willow had wanted to ‘snuggle’ once more – even though they’d never really stopped. The way she said it had suggested, again, that there was going to be more progress and neither of them had been disappointed by what they’d accomplished. There had been the laying on of hands just for the sake of touching. Some might even, after a little tentativeness, have accused it of bordering on groping. Not there, not rubbing or anything… but close to groping.
They had not been, very, naughty hands – but they had definitely been interesting hands. Very definitely in interesting places. It was… just different to how they might have found themselves when they were cuddling up. She supposed that it might have been more playful… with more of a purpose. A purpose that was to feel good… physically good. And it did. So ten out of ten there. Tara was happy to let Willow find the pace for them because her love’s instincts in this were just so right. And it wasn’t like she was meekly following… she was right there alongside Willow. They were holding hands and laying on the other hands and kissing as they walked forward towards the place that one day they had to reach.
They were together. Somehow Willow just knew the right time to bring them on another step. Tara had never felt rushed… and she had never felt left out either. Willow’s desire was her desire and there was very definitely desire building. Desire that was… one day… going to find its way out of – or through – them both.
She freed her hand from under herself and reached out for Willow’s hair. The other she left there on the curve of Willow’s buttock. It seemed to have found a home there and she was feeling sort of possessive about Willow. Even though there was never anyone else even at the house with them she wanted to hold onto Willow. To stress the point she gave another little tug on that butt and Willow was soon ever closer to her. Tara stroked her hair, looking straight into her eyes over a gap that was hardly even there anymore.
“Morning,” she said quietly. No need to shout when they were this close was there?
Willow looked thoughtful for a moment, almost as if she was deciding whether it was, in fact, morning. The little look Tara gave her must have prompted her to speak though. “Morning,” she replied.
“What is it?” Tara asked her wanting to know what she was thinking.
“I think… I think that I want to call you ‘baby’ now,” Willow told her then hesitated again. “Like, ‘Morning baby,’ I think that fits… if its okay with you I mean?” Willow asked her the question in an equally quiet voice. She was so cute when she was so quiet.
It wasn’t too early for Tara to know that she liked that. She was Willow’s ‘baby’ now? Baby would do just fine. Not that Willow was stopping with her explanatory question.
“Because if it’s not okay,” she continued, “you know I can call you-” Tara stopped her words by kissing her on the lips. It was going to be absolutely fine.
“Call me baby,” Tara insisted.
Willow smiled, “Really?”
“Really.”
“So you’re my baby?” Willow asked her and Tara just had to kiss her again – and this time she wasn’t shy about parting her lips and touching her tongue against Willow’s own lips. She felt the parting of those against the tip of her tongue, against her lips. She danced her tongue over them as Willow did so, gently exploring.
She’d perhaps not been pushing things herself because she’d been so comfy with Willow leading the way and perhaps because that other… well the other had always wanted her Kitty to take control. Perhaps that was why she had been shying away from that – not wanting them to be at all like that - to be pleasing the vampire after the fact. But she knew that the link would have been tenuous. She knew that that they would never be like that. For one thing… Willow loved her. She loved Willow. It wasn’t even the same person. Neither of them were – which was why it had seemed like time to take this step. She moved her tongue again, waiting this time for Willow’s reciprocation – touched at it, felt Willow respond to her.
A new step… maybe even two steps. Not all the steps… they weren’t up to much else yet – but another step would be a step in the right direction and more that they took then the less that were left… and ohh she was babbling as much as Willow ever had… and double ohhhhh Willow was kissing her now.
Everything looked so good… Willow looked so good. So much better than they had looked before. Tara didn’t want that impression to be wrong. Anything could go wrong… that was why she’d been taking it so slowly and it was why the less patient Willow had seemed to agree with her. It had to be slow and deliberate… just like the kiss really wasn't anymore.
She didn’t think that it, they, could end up being nothing, but she wasn’t going to take that chance. Not with Willow – not now that she had her. She pointed her tongue and thrust it into Willow’s mouth. Slow in the build up was one thing… but once they were at each marker… it was full speed ahead. They were in love and faster or slower wasn’t going to change that. Besides she thought her patience was, one day in the not too distant future, going to be rewarded. So was Willow’s.
Maybe nothing could go wrong anymore. When she was in Willow’s arms… her mouth too now… she didn’t think that it could.
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Oh… Tara was wanting the kiss. Tara was driving the kiss. How had she known? Had she known… perhaps she’d just wanted it? Whatever it was good. It was very, very good and it could get better still. It was… Tara. Tara wanting.
Willow herself, really, really wanted and as Tara was the one who’d started it she wasn’t exactly sure where she, they, were going in the kiss. Perhaps she didn’t need to… perhaps she just had to stay where she was because, tentatively… Everything started off tentatively, but once begun things really moved. Like Tara’s tongue in her mouth. The only thing not even remotely tentative was the strength of their love. There was a tentative hand on her cheek. It was tentatively moving, off her face to her breast… It wasn’t the first time that Tara’s hand had been there, but this time it was delicate, so barely there that she felt that she had to show Tara what she wanted. She had to put herself more firmly into that hand, letting it start to rub her by encouraging it to do so… moving herself against it. It didn’t take Tara long to get the idea.
The squeeze, like the rest, was tentative at first. If there could be such a thing as a tentative squeeze. But its coming told her she could really, really, do the tongue thing. It was another first time for her and she had wanted to try it but as Tara had surprised her she was so afraid of doing it badly… She hadn’t had time to read up on technique here.
She remembered it, like she remembered other stuff, but she had never done it until now and what she was enjoying wasn’t what she remembered enjoying.
She was enjoying it so much that she wanted to leave the memories out of it entirely.
Willow took up the duel, battling Tara’s tongue back into her mouth, following it and pressing home. Tara’s mouth seemed like a nice place to call home. She tasted Tara just as she wanted to. She tasted Tara, her baby – and she was so sweet In every sense – even with what was probably pre-breakfast carpet tongue.
She was so sweet and she was so hers. They’d have to stop soon because Willow wanted was starting to want more already and this wasn't… the right time. There were too many memories between them and that but that didn’t seem half as important now as it was always made out to be. Perhaps it was like being in a desert with no water… when you got some to drink you didn’t turn around and demand wine. Water was good…
Wine would come later.
That was just the physical stuff that was feeling so good right now. The hand on her breasts, the other back in her hair again. The tongue once again in her mouth… All the pleasure from those sensations was sort of at the meeting at the junction of their lips.
The important thing wasn’t that it was this - it was saying the words. She broke from her thoughts knowing the words that she wanted to speak. She loved Tara’s touch on her and she was finding that she loved her own touch on Tara – even if her hands were on automatic pilot. “I love you.” She was the first to say the words that had sort of been superfluous just because it was as plain as day. They knew it.
But it was something that should be said. That was the second step they were taking now – and an ultimately better and more satisfying one.
If she remembered this… physical stuff… even if it had never compared – but had never done it then the other things that she remembered… she had never done them either. It was easier to say herself than to totally believe it… but she wanted to.
She would believe after they had finished kissing.
When everything seemed better, everything was better.
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Tara pulled back and looked at her, mouth still open, both their hands were still now… even if they were still in those interesting places. “Oh… me too sweetie. Me too. I love you too.” They were going to have to think of waking up this way everyday from now on.
She took hold of Willow’s face and their lips didn’t part for an age.
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If I want a little pussy, I got my own to play with.
Chance in Chance.
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)! You have captured so well the state of being in love/just basking in the moment (ie W&T's feelings/emotions are so palpable to me). Really I just so enjoyed both W&T reveling in being truly "together" (how things in a way are the same in the sense of their routine, but on the other hand completely and amazingly "different"). They might be moving slowly in a sense, but they are definitely savoring 
each new step/stage as their relationship progresses.
at: 10/10/02 1:15:25 am
Your writing is always so....so....erotic. I love it. This is one fic I will be truly sorry to read the end. hee hee...I have got to go back and read that last update again. 
to Willow's method of explaining what she wants by saying, ("I was thinking- well you know, maybe, if it was okay with... well... a...well a thirty-three and thirty-six").