Hey all,
First again I want to thank you. The kittens have always overwhelmed me with their graciousness and encouragement and this posting is a great example of what I mean by that.
Second....I'll update in a couple hours.
SlayerSydneyHiya! Thanks for letting me know that you are enjoying everything. Next update will be longer, I promise.
I love the idea of fate and our girls too. I love the idea that no matter what and where, they are meant to be.
Puff Dearest Puffster, every part of this will not be an easy read BUT...people are often brought closer together by hardship. Love often needs obstacles in order to set down the deepest roots.
onyxsundrops Thanks for the comments. There are a few references to music and what not that I slid in so that the story is a bit more authentic. You, being a fan of the time period, I hope you like them!
The Rose24 I think when you are faced with someone that is a beast, you have a choice of becoming the beast or not. I'm not sure it's always a question of stopping as much as standing up in a way that maintains dignity. and yes, I believe our girls are chock full of dignity
nika I promise you that my talent is FAR from endless. I struggle to post what I post. It's not an 'easy' process and half the time I am sure I am doing it wrong. But I do my best, and I'm really gratified when one of my stories touches someone.
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I'll say it again I'm amazed and it's stories like yours that make me glad I found this board.
Wow....thank you for saying that. That's a huge honor. I hope this story flows in a way that warrants such kind words.
bindingwiccan - I'm glad you found her too.
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true love knows no gender. dont be afraid to be yourself
You know what? That is wonderful advice. Sometimes it's hard to have faith. But seeing someone that so clearly does is very inspiring to me.
Cindy Lou Who Oh luminous reader of rants and ramblings!
I was more just commenting generally than
TO YOU regarding men and my concerns. It was something I was afraid I might winding up doing in the story unintellionally.
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No *one* gender holds the title of "Grand Perpetuator." But women and men alike should get credit for turning their minds to what could be.
Huzzah! I very much agree. I think many men helped the women's movement and the GBLT movement as a whole. And youhave to wonder what women would do had THEY been the sex in charge. I think wanting control is a human thing mostly.
Ahem...did I mention that sometimes I ramble?
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And Tara recognized the eyes.
Yeah, that was one of my favorite bits that I wrote in that last part. I really want our two girls to be potrayed as meant to be. So I try and slip little ideas (sometimes big ideas ) in, backing that. And Tara, I can see her being "senstive" enough to magic that she might have prophetic abilities. Even ones not totally developed. Besides...I thought it was romantic.
Red Jassy Always glad to provide color.

(come on, you knew I was gonna go there, didn't ya?)
When I write Willow it is often easy to thrown in humor. Especially in 'Willowthought.' I think she has a very vibrant imagination and I like to play with that.
Er...did that come out the way I meant it to?
bluewillowwitch -
Thank you for commenting! I am glad that you are liking the story and...

and
the vamp nurd Definately fate...Our girls are fated to be together.
shuyaku I think, if I was Tara looking at Willow - esepceially given the dreams - I'd be dieing for that first embrace.
Pssst...we'll get there
TareBearRS Well, I do promise more goodness. But...there is some dark. Hopefully the goodness will make up for it though.
willntlover They did indeed meet, and that's the beginning of a great story that...well Amber and Aly deserve muuuuuuch credit for.
Didja notice that Willow's hat had a kitten on it? All true.
some dark thingWhat your post is about - among several things - is the question of evil and evil acts. It's an interesting topic, and it raises tons of interesting possibilities and problems. The first thing I believe is that overgeneralizing, while good for logic, always leads to scenarios where that logic does not apply. At least when you try to apply it to human beings.
There are always those that are exceptions to the rule.
Also, there's a difference in my mind between an evil act and an evil person.
ALLLSOO, when you talk about good and bad...right and wrong...and well...evil - it all becomes subjective at some point.
Lastly, I can say that I have studied human beings. But not all of them. And not exclusively. So my expertise/logic/conclusions in many things may be as thin a toliet paper. Insert comment about worth of said thoughts ALSO being possibily worth the same. (I said that, you didn't)
An evil act....I believe...is one that willfully destroys. Destruction is somewhat relative. It can be emotional or physcial. The most damning type is when it is 1. both 2. to someone that cannot defend themselves and that you are AWARE is weaker than you 3. to someone dependent on you
Someone that is evil...seeks out to willfully destroy. Not once, not twice...but is in active pursuit of it. The need to destroy -in short - is what they live for, and what they compose most of their life around.
I believe in a phrase that states "there but by the grace of God, go I." I believe that anyone is capable of anything - if they are in the right (or wrong) circumstances and/or frame of mind. There are people out there that kill in the heat of passion. I don't think these people are evil.
In one of my worst and most needy states of mind - wayyyy before I ever found the kitten - I lied to someone for about
three months straight. I knew it would hurt them if they found out. And I knew that they WOULD find out eventually. But somehow I cared much more about what I was getting from them, then any pain that might come later. I used them to make ME feel better about ME. And I knew I was doing it. I knew it was wrong. I knew how it would end. That person cared about me. And I put them in a position to be deeply hurt. Because my needs - at the time - were more important to me then anything else. It is the only time in my life that I have ever been a pure unadulterated user.
But that's not who I normally am. And someone that can lie that long, and put someone's heart in that much danger is not who I normally am, either.
What amazes me is how quickly I became what I have always despised. How little - in the end all, be all - that it took.
The reason for me telling you all that is - we all screw up. Most of us act in evil ways. I think we all embrace a darker, much more selfish side sometimes. Sometimes we are egged on. Sometimes we are not ourselves. Sometimes we are pushed. And sometimes we push ourselves.
As a friend told me once...the reason that we screw up is so that we can learn who we are, and who we want to...NOT so that we can learn that we like screwing up.
So....to quoeth myself (and you) "I think some people have things in them that others don't."
If I believe that anyone is capable of anything, what do I mean by this?
Some people...enjoy the destruction. Enjoy it, in general. Enjoy the using. Enjoy the taking. From the word go. There is no reviewing the issue later. There is no care if/when they realize how they are effecting others. There is only hunger for more of the same.
We may all have the potential to be Ted Bundy for a day...but we do NOT all have it in us to BE Ted Bundy.
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But is it true only for people that "have it in them"? like DMW was in Willow, but there was no Dark (Magick) Tara in Tara.
Are evil men(women) born or made? Tara was mistreated (by cannon) for a good part of her life. I believe that she made choices to turn away from both anger and the darker aspects of her own power. To embrace the ideas of nature and healing, as opposed to seeking power.
But if Willow and/or Dawn had been murdered in front of Tara - does Tara have that IN her? Oh hell yeah, I think she does.
But unless she let go of who she is...and became someone else....unless she fostered that darkness and fostered it again and again. I think though, that OUR Tara could not exist in concert with that much darkness. She would have to become someone else. She would stop being Tara in all but name and face.
xita I think that the past...the dark times were all about finding strength in yourself and in love. I think that is why things change - love - if and when they do.
Katharyn I don't know that I mean to take risks. But I do want to try and give new takes on things...
I try to love the characters and the time period. I try and be honest. And I have a lot of help from you (and Michele) on that. On what you think, and what you feel is emotionally truthful.
Thank you, my dear, dear friend
Edited by: mariacomet at: 5/27/03 6:30:29 pm