I apologize for the delay. I’ve been in Dallas and my mother’s ISP
shut down all service so they wouldn’t get wormed! Can you believe it? Here’s a few comments and my delayed update.
Insanity - Yes they have a bit to learn and grow yet. It will be fun and wonderful though. You are right about the power: this Tara has been forced to grow more powerful on her own. Thanks.
Natti - I’m glad you liked that part. We will have a few more days at the farm before returning home. I hope you like.
sapphocrazygirl - Howdy! Good to see you here. I have to ask: did you read Y’all first or just start with this one? This one can certainly stand on it’s own but I recommend the prequel to fill in a few holes and make some major connections. Everything will tie to the end.
Yes, the concept is a bit much to take but I’m trying to bring it in fully slowly so that it doesn’t seem cheap or wrong. I’m glad you liked the art gallery scene. I’d say that’s my favorite piece of writing I’ve ever done.
PS: I like your fic too but don’t know if I’ve posted over there. Good job.
PPS: Have you read Sappho’s Leap by Erica Jong? It’s excellent and beautiful.
Helen Hey, sorry about the delay. Like I said, no internet service. Normally I would have posted even though I was out of town or sent an e-mail to someone to post it but I couldn’t even do that. That’s awesome that you’re writing. I can’t wait.
Karen - Happy Birthday and sorry for the delay. The update after this one will come quick. I promise.
shuyaku - Thank you so much. Yes the restaurant scene was in there for comic relief and the revelation of Tara’s status. Glad you liked but I agree that it’s sad. And yes, more to emphasize the new relationship coming up in a minute.
Still Waters T - Thanks so much. Here it is…
Title – Paths Diverged/Divulged Part 19 –
Taste Author – JustSkipit - Debra
Spoilers –Season 6
Rating – Part 19 – R?
Disclaimer – Guess what, I don’t own W&T, Buffy or the rest of the BtVS crew. Any similarity to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental and fortunate. Also Rachel thinks I should point out that I don’t make any money from this…
Thoughts in italicsFlash backs indentedMemories and dreams indented AND italic Willow woke to a feeling of complete disorientation. She had no idea where or when she was. She looked around trying in vain to recognize the room. It wasn’t her room at home or in the dorm. It wasn’t her room at Buffy’s house, the room that she had shared with Tara after Buffy and Joyce had both died. It wasn’t even her hotel room. Finally it slowly came back. She was with Tara at a ranch where they were working with an injured horse. She looked around the room and noted the sunlight coming strongly in through the window. Of course Tara had woken before her and left the room; she always did. No, that wasn’t right. Her Tara always did. She didn’t know if this was usual for this woman or not.
I’ve got to learn that they are different people, she reminded herself.
Looking to the bedside table for the time she noted it at 9:30 but was more shocked by what sat by the clock. A small plate sat by the clock with a shiny green apple on it. It was as if all the breath had been sucked out of her lungs. Staring at the apple her dream came rushing back and just then she realized that she was soaked in a cold sweat.
Tara’s hands lightly tickled the back of her neck as she felt them entwined in her hair. As their kiss deepened she felt them tighten and it was as if they were reaching not only into her hair, but all her hair. She felt as if tiny fingertips were tickling at her flesh, her legs, her breasts, her stomach, and ass. Fingers reaching and probing through her most private areas, areas which grew more wet with every thrust of her girlfriend’s tongue. Willow thrust her tongue again into the blonde’s mouth and began to taste her essence. She had always believed that the unique scent and taste that belonged to her Tara was the same whether licking the sheen of sweat from her soft skin, tasting the tender flesh inside her mouth, or licking her wet lips of her lovely center. And now she could smell and taste that smell from this woman. It filled Willow’s senses and encouraged her to press her knee more firmly between the taller girl’s legs.
“We should g-go inside,” Tara moaned through the kiss. Willow pulled back for a second wondering where they were and the view came into focus. They stood on the porch of the Summers home and she had Tara backed against the pillar by the steps.
Seeing that the door was slightly open she nodded her agreement as she stepped back to entwine their fingers. “Yes, let’s go in and you can meet Buffy and Dawn,” she agreed. “Oh we just arrived,” she realized. At the door she suddenly worried that it would be too much of a shock for her friends. Turning to Tara she asked her, “can you wait here for just a second baby?” Tara nodded silently, obviously understanding that Willow didn’t want to shock everyone.
Pushing open the door she was greeted by the blaring of music from the stereo. A streamer hung across the archway. “Welcome home!” it shouted in bright rainbow letters. Wow, cool that they knew I was coming. So many people were in the living room. Buffy and Spike danced in the center of a circle of friends including girls Willow didn’t know, Clem, Dawn, Faith, Xander, Anya, Hallie, D’Hofryn, Giles, Oz, Michelle, Eliza, and many others she didn’t recognize. “Hey everyone,” she shouted tentatively from the doorway.
No one turned so she shouted again, “hey everyone.” Since no one moved she walked over to the stereo and turned down the music. Everyone in the room turned to face her and she noticed that the crowd was now greatly culled. Now only the true Scoobies were in the room and even Spike was gone.
Dawn ran across the room shouting, “Willow!” as she embraced the redhead. Buffy was next, hugging her so hard that Willow had to shout: “Oxygen becoming an issue.” Xander was next and finally Anya got into the mix giving her a quick hug.
“You’ll never believe who is with me,” the redhead exclaimed excitedly. She couldn’t wait any longer moving quickly to the open door and reaching her hand out. “Come in sweetie.” Tara took her lover’s hand and stepped through the door, leaning only slightly on her cane.
Seemingly forgetting about the others in the room Willow bent her head toward Tara’s capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. It was as if everyone else faded away as she kissed the blonde, running her hands over her naked body. Quickly her hands found her soft breasts and hard nipples as she moved her body atop her lover’s. Running her hands up the blonde’s arms to find her hands grasping the headboard. Her hand strayed to her lover’s wet curls as she heard footsteps at the door. “We should have locked the door,” she told her lover.
“Yes, y-y-you should have.” Willow’s head snapped up as she heard the unmistakable voice of her love. Tara stood calmly in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and her patented half-smile on her face as she watched the two figures in bed.
Willow looked back and forth between her lover and … well her lover. Both had calm but amused looks on their faces. “I ... well…what? … how? … when? How…?”
Willow still looked back and forth between the two women as her naked lover reached her hand up to trace her face gently. “I’m right here baby,” she purred.
Her mind spun as she tried to understand the dream. What did it mean? Was it a communication or just her fears? Did it mean anything?
Tara moved carefully up the stairs to avoid spilling either cup of coffee. She had, of course, been awake for hours. In the short time she had known Willow, it was apparent that the girl would usually sleep much longer than she would. Of course it was doubtful that the redhead intentionally subsisted on short sleep hours. Tara had learned to sleep few hours in high school to keep up with everything she needed to do and had maintained the habit. While the chef was making her a fresh vegetable omelet, she had spotted the bowl of fresh fruit on the table. Her moment of inspiration came not only from hearing Willow recount how her lover had frequently left fruit for her in the morning, but also just from the simple thought that Willow would like it. So while her omelet was being prepared, she had taken the apple to their room, set it on the nightstand, kissed the redhead on the forehead, and returned to the kitchen. Although Tara wanted to check on the injured horse, she knew that that visit may take a while and was returning to the room to gently wake the other girl before going.
Quietly she turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. Seeing Willow on the edge of the bed, holding the apple, at first she thought that she had just awoken and picked it up. Gently Tara closed the door and moved toward the bed, expecting to see Willow take a bite or perhaps turn toward her to say good morning. Rather, the redhead continued staring at the piece of fruit. Tara set both mugs on the nightstand as she continued watching the girl. As she did, she noticed that Willow was covered in a sheen of sweat as if she had run a race or awoken from a bad dream, an experience Tara was all too familiar with.
Mirroring a motion Willow had used with her in recent times, Tara gingerly kneeled in front of the redhead. Softly she took Willow’s hands in her own and began stroking the back of her hand with her thumbs. Willow?” she asked.
Willow finally broke her stare, her eyes resting unfocused on the blue ones in front of her. “You… You left me this?” she asked.
Tara glanced at the apple before returning her attention to Willow’s eyes. “Y-y-yes,” she stuttered, “I thought you’d l-like it.” She trailed off, unsure how this gesture could have gone wrong. As she stilled the motion of her thumbs she realized that the redhead was shaking. Softly she climbed onto the bed behind the smaller girl and wrapped her arms around her. She could sense Willow’s exhausted emotions, chief among them confusion, arousal, and grief. Finally she asked, “did you have a d-dream?”
Again the redhead appeared shocked to hear Tara speak. Slowly she turned to face her. As if realizing the fact for the first time she asked, “you’re not her?”
“I’m not her?” Tara echoed. She suspected that she knew what Willow was asking, what she had somehow realized but she didn’t want to make Willow’s conclusions for her; she wanted the smaller girl to work through this conclusion on her own.
“You’re not her are you? Not my Tara?” Willow clarified. It wasn’t so much that she thought this woman could tell her; but she needed to work through this understanding.
I’ve been yours since that kiss four years ago, Tara thought, but what she said was, “No sweetie. I’m not the woman who was your lover. I’m not the woman you’ve spent days and nights with. Not the woman you fought demons with nor the one you probably planned your life w-with.” A part of her felt heart broken. If Willow realized that she was not the woman she had loved, the spell would be broken. She would leave to return to her world and her friends and her life. But a tiny part of her brain cheered: she knew and had known since Willow’s arrival and emotional disclosure about her lover’s death that she could never be happy with Willow as long as the girl thought she was the same as the woman she had loved. Only when Willow accepted that they were separate individuals could their relationship truly begin. And if that never happened, how could she ever trust Willow’s feelings for her?
Willow’s next question shocked her: “do you think she would be mad?”
“W-what? Why would she b-be mad?”
“Would she be mad that I’m not grieving? That I came to be with you?” Willow nearly stumbled over the words. It was all so sudden for her. Yesterday she was overjoyed to be with Tara. She reveled in the strength of their connection. With few exceptions, she had never questioned the wisdom of her plan: she would come here, find another Tara, make her fall in love with her, and take her home. The transition would be seamless and she would keep her lover safe forever. She had had small epiphanies in which she realized that this woman was not the one she had known and loved, moments when it hit her, but this was bigger. Suddenly she didn’t know what was happening. Would Tara fall in love with her? If she was that different from the other Tara, would she love Willow at all? And would Willow love her? Did she already? Was it even possible not to love her?
“I d-don’t know,” Tara responded.
Willow fixed her girlfriend with a knowing look as she realized that this woman’s answer, or potential answer, was as close as she would ever come to knowing what her Tara might think or feel. “Would you?” she smiled.
As she heard Willow’s simple, and not so simple, question Tara understood it and the redhead’s motivation completely. While the redhead was starting to understand and acknowledge how different the two Taras were, she also acknowledged that this Tara’s opinion and feeling was the closest she could get to asking her former lover. Tentatively she explained, “I would be h-honored to think that you l-loved me so much that you came to find another one. That you would cross dimensions and come looking for me without knowing who I might be or who I might be with -- it would really say how much you had loved me.”
As the blonde spoke tears rolled from Willow’s eyes. With Tara’s speech she had at first thought that Tara was speaking for her counterpart but somewhere in the center of the answer, her understanding became blurred. It became apparent, or at least probable, to the redhead that Tara was speaking for herself as well as for the other Tara. Desperately Willow leaned forward, kissing the blonde’s soft lips three times as she clung to the back of her neck.
Tara reluctantly pulled away from the contact to lean their foreheads together. Mustering all her courage she asked, “who are you k-kissing Willow?”
Willow smiled at her brilliant and insightful girlfriend as she explained, “the first one was for her but the other two were for you.” Barely had she finished speaking when she felt Tara’s lips on hers once again. This time the blonde traced her tongue along Willow’s lips, urging them open and sweeping her tongue inside. Mirroring Tara’s motion of leaning their foreheads together Willow lightened the mood as she confessed: “I almost didn’t come because I thought you already had a girlfriend.”
“Michelle?” Tara guessed.
Willow giggled as she explained, “only once she answered the phone. Before that, I thought you were with Elizabeth.”
Tara’s response was a half-laugh/half-snort: “did your Tara ever have taste that b-bad?”
Willow laughed in response to Tara’s catty comment: “no but that Elizabeth had taste that
good.”
“Here, drink some cold coffee,” Tara indicated lifting both mugs. “So did this one but besides a big ‘no thank you,’ who would date a woman who hits on her sister’s girlfriend?”
Willow scowled as she tasted her drink. “Hey,” she agreed, “I didn’t even think of that. That jerk. It was bad enough when she hit on Tara when we were together, but hitting on Michelle’s girlfriend - that’s too creepy.”
Although both girls knew this was far from the conclusion of this discussion, they were ready to move on for now. “I was going to g-go check on Golden. Do you w-want to come?” the blonde asked.
Willow glanced at the clock. “Can I grab a quick shower? I’m kind of … yuck,” she answered.
Tara smiled and nodded: “sure. I’ll meditate for a few minutes.”
Willow grabbed her clothes from her bag. “Where’s Scoobs?”
“I let her out before I ate,” Tara explained, “she’s probably chasing rabbits in a pasture and rolling in horse poop. It’s a favorite pastime of hers on any farm.”
“Ok note to self: ‘bath for Scooby before driving home,’” Willow joked.
A short time later both girls were driving down to the stable. Willow had reassured the blonde that most days her preference was to just eat fruit in the morning, saving anything heavier for after she had been up a few hours. As they pulled up Joy came running from the barn. At first both witches worried that something was terribly wrong but they quickly deduced that just the opposite was true. Joy was speaking so quickly that neither girl could distinguish much of what she was saying. Tara was pretty sure that she identified the word
miracle and Willow knew she heard “up walking.”
“O-o-ok Joy,” Tara told the teenager as she grasped her hands, “we’re coming to check on her.” Willow noted again how badly the blonde was limping. Assuming as she had before that Tara’s limp was directly related to her tiring herself physically or with magic she thought,
we need to do a ritual soon to refresh. Before she could follow the other two girls into the barn she looked up to see Scooby bounding toward her.
”Stop right there, poopy one!” she thought at the dog who stopped immediately but looked dejected as if her feelings were hurt. For a few seconds the redhead allowed Scooby’s feelings to communicate before smiling at the dog and waving her hand for her to go and have some fun.
When she entered the barn she was happy to see Golden standing. Tara was kneeling awkwardly next to her, apparently assessing the injury. Even before she walked into the stable, Willow knew that her girlfriend had not begun casting yet. She wondered how distant they could be and still sense each other’s magic. Stepping into the stall she heard Tara say, “this is much b-better. We need to do some more w-work with her today and tomorrow.”
“But she’ll be ok right?” Joy eagerly asked.
“We need to do s-some more work Joy,” Tara answered non-committally.
Seeing that the teenager was about to again question them Willow asked, “Joy can you watch from the door so that we not interrupted?”
“Oh yeah,” Joy eagerly agreed, “I’ll do that.” She yelled from the doorway: “ok. Coast’s clear!”
Both witches smiled at each other as Willow kneeled by Tara. Willow looked at the blonde for a moment before trying something she was very curious about. Only recently and sporadically had she and her Tara been able to talk mentally, without speaking audibly. While Tara could hear Willow consistently, Willow could rarely hear her lover. Since she had noted that this woman appeared to be a more powerful witch, she wondered if she would be able to communicate like this. Looking into Tara’s eyes she told her without speaking,
“we should do a ritual later to recharge our energy.” As she finished she watched expectantly for Tara’s response. If the blonde wasn’t able to respond, Willow knew she would hear a low buzzing sound but nothing else.
She didn’t have to wonder for long as she heard Tara’s answer clearly although the blonde didn’t move her lips:
”let’s go after lunch. The cook told me about a creek near the farm house.”She seemed to be watching Willow, unsure if the redhead could hear her.
This time Willow spoke out loud: “great!” She knew that Tara could tell that she meant both the idea of the creek and that their powerful connection allowed their special communication.
Tara was also thrilled with this new discovery. She had tried communicating with all the witches in her family and even with Eliza who emitted a low level of baseline magical energy but none of them had ever heard her. “C-c-can you work like l-last night? It’s more powerful,” she requested.
Willow started nodding immediately: “of course. I just didn’t want to scare you at the hospital.”
“Right,” Tara agreed as she thought about it. She knew the redhead had made a wise choice. Willow’s sudden appearance and magical help had shocked her enough; if Willow had tried to work as she had last night, the blonde would have been very uncomfortable or even scared. Even with their closeness, she had been trepidatious initially yesterday when she first felt Willow pulling energy from her. Fortunately after a few minutes she had become used to it, noticing how much longer she could work. In fact, she was pretty sure she could aid in that cycle and make the connection even more powerful.
After a brief kiss the two girls again began working on the injured horse. Willow was surprised at first by the changes Tara was making with their energy exchange. It was as if she was trying a technique, assessing it, and moving on to another. A big fan of the scientific process, Willow kept her magics constant but mentally noted ways that they could work even more powerfully.
Tara concentrated her healing energies on the horse even as she varied her methods. Eventually she settled on one method hoping that is was efficient for Willow also. As she did so, she began to notice a more familiar, albeit indirectly familiar, sensation. She subtly glanced at the smaller girl and concluded that Willow felt it too. The redhead was covered in a light sweat and her eyes were unfocused. Her breathing was uneven and Tara thought that she might be biting her lip. What was most bizarre for the blonde witch was not the intense eroticism of their connection, but just how familiar it seemed.
Oh Goddess! Willow thought,
I’ve got to stop that. I mean she’s … and I’m … and we hardly know each other…really. She attempted to concentrate her energies only on giving Tara energy to heal the horse but was having a hard time controlling her other reactions. She didn’t even have to look at Tara to see that the feeling was mutual. It was hard to determine just how upset the blonde witch might be and Willow hoped that she could at least tell that the redhead was not trying to intensify the experience.
As Tara ceased casting she felt Willow pulling her hands away. She tried to control her breathing as she turned to look at the redhead. “Well… that… was…,” she started.
“Uh… yes… very…,” Willow agreed. “I’m sor…,” she started but was silenced by Tara’s lips pressed against hers as the blonde pushed her back onto the hay and laid her body on top of the smaller girl. Both girls continued breathing heavily as their tongues twisted and turned, caressing each other. Willow moaned quietly as she felt Tara’s leg pressing between hers. As the two girls slowly broke apart Willow mumbled, “or not sorry.”
Tara merely gave the redhead her lop-sided smile as she turned back to the horse. After determining that she was doing better both girls started toward the door of the stable. Not surprisingly, they found Joy sound asleep. “Great watchdog huh?” Willow indicated.
Tara giggled but silently sent back the thought,
”let’s let her sleep.” She took Willow’s hand and both girls enjoyed the lingering energy, both magical and sensual as they called Scooby and drove back to the farmhouse.
---
"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or demons, heaven or hell." - The Buddha
I'm sure you'll have kittens lining up outside your door to take on night feeds out of gratitude for the great fic you write. Now, on to the feedback.
Just a world of wow.
) the doubt is always there, even with Willow's reassurance, but I kinda think that the statement about the different laughs kinda boosted her faith in Will's words.
).
Debra,
I'm loving how 
is staring to see the differences in he two 
s. I thought the part where Golden looked just like Chestnut was heart breaking. 
I love that the girls are becoming so comfortable with each other. 
Loe the work and can't wait to 
moe. Update soon, please? 
. When Tara mentioned they were on their way to heal a horse I pretty much arrived at the same conclusion as Willow. I do believe Tara when she says she didn't ask Willow just to amplify but I have to wonder what would have happened without Willow to help her. Good thing Tara managed to convince Willow and tell her how she really felt about her.
. It's also in Tara's nature to underestimate herself so it's no wonder she doesn't think she's powerfull, that's okay Willow will tell her that someday 
.
It made me find some similarity in both their fears - Tara's fear that Willow can't really love her, that she loves the other Tara and that she is the substitute, the next best thing. Now, Willow feared that Tara didn't really want to go out of town to spend time with her and that Tara just needed her magic.
Thanks for the congratulations. We are very excited and Rachel is feeling the baby moving every day! Today she called me to say that the baby is gonna play soccer (Rachel called, not the baby). 
But I guess thats the point, huh??
I get the idea that Joy is just like Tara, when it comes to her horse....deep bonding
I think everything is pretty much said about why it's so great, so I won't say any more; I just wanted to let you know that I found it great as well. And I'm as always waiting patiently for the next update. 
. It might have been a not-so-nice way of coming to the realisation but at least it got the job done. Sweet to see Tara comforting Willow, nice and gently.