Waiting for Dani - Complete 06/11/07

[JustSkipIt]

Oh my God! I was looking for something else in this forum and noticed that I was not the last person to comment on this. But I remembered writing the response. Yes, I did. According to the file, on 8/6. But I didn't post it. How incredibly rude of me.

PolarBear – Hi. I’m so glad you read it and left feedback. I have to say that as an author, it’s so much fun every time I get an e-mail from the admin saying that there’s a reply to a story and particularly to an archived story. It allows me to revisit the entire experience of writing that story.

and... I just couldn't stop. I think it was around 11 pm. on Wednesday when I read the first lines and 'cause I had a night-off work kept on reading until 5 am or so, when I finally had to go to sleep. After I woke up Thursday morning I couldn't get it out my head. After another overnight reading session I finished reading, but it was almost morning again and my head was spinning so I decided to leave feedback later.

I can’t even say how much I love hearing that. I think that with this story more than any other, I’ve gotten that compliment and I say thank you so much.

While I knew whole the time there will be happy ending, I doubted that it was even possible

Yes, it’s a strange experience writing on KB. I’ve mentioned this to Alcy and others in comments: the difficulty of maintaining a sufficient level of suspense when we know that readers know that things will turn out happy and together.

… the only way this story could end happily (and obey KB rules) was that Dani loved Tara all the time, but hell, I was almost convinced that that wasn't the case.

Thanks. That’s where I wanted the reader to be but you have to realize that if you go back and analyze, what you’re really reading and experiencing is all what happens in Tara’s head. She’s an unreliable and untrustworthy narrator and you have to attempt to see things as they might be rather than how her guilt-induced pout (for lack of a better word) sees and describes them.

I’m glad you enjoyed the world. I’ve said before in my comments that this story grew out of one simple question in my mind. There are people in BDSM relationships who wish for their ownership to be true for it to be a reality as opposed to something on which they’ve agreed. And I kept asking myself what kind of world would make that possible but allow there to be love at the same time. This world is the answer to that question.

I mostly though it was beautiful until Dani was marked. That part shocked me. To go through all that pain just because 'No herbs for servants' is just a horrible idea (and yet, we human beings can do, and do, a lot more cruel things than that) and there's the thing with mark-rights and so on.

I agree that it’s terrible and horrible. At the same time, our society has many rites of passage that could be considered torture by people from other cultures or beliefs or times. And some people would believe that making a commitment that “costs” so much would truly reinforce the bond. I’m not saying it’s right but there’s a reason that few in that culture question the practice.

I will be very glad if there will be a sequel some day, but I wouldn't be disappointed if you left it as it is. I know you already said there will a sequel, but I felt I had say that anyway.

Thanks. I have the sequel planned out but it’s a matter of finding time to write. I’m working on a collaboration right now but expect the sequel (tentatively titled Willow’s Marks) to follow that project.

P.S.
I don't what happened, but reading this story left me with urgent need to listen to 'Stairway to Heaven'. May'be it's because 'lady' is mentioned during the song so many times.

That goes perfectly!

[PolarBear]

Oh my God! I was looking for something else in this forum and noticed that I was not the last person to comment on this. But I remembered writing the response. Yes, I did. According to the file, on 8/6. But I didn't post it. How incredibly rude of me.

No problem

I so much want to read this story again but I don't have much time nowadays. I hope it changes soon.

[Foomatic]

Hey Deb,

I can't believe I hadn't read this sooner! This is such a great epic fic, and I have to say, one of the most imaginitive and creative things I've read in a long time.

I love this world you've created. Everything is so original, from the magical hierarchy to the markings, nothing like I've read before. It's definitely not your run of the mill girl meets girl story, there's so much going on and at first it's a lot to take in. The complexity of Willow and Tara's relationship was so unique, I can't remember reading anything simliar.

Anyways, this fic was rich and filling, like the perfect piece of chocolate cake. I enjoyed it immensely, and I can't wait for Willow's version. Thanks!

[JustSkipIt]

Foo – Well, how did you miss it? That's the real question. No, seriously. I guess the real question is how did you find it now? Desperate for something to read and the title didn't sound familiar? That happens to me. As a matter of face, I'm reading your current story in much that way. I was like, "hey that title doesn't sound familiar"… But I've read part of it, but lost track. Anyway, I get it but I'm glad you've caught up now.

This is such a great epic fic, and I have to say, one of the most imaginitive and creative things I've read in a long time.

Well, thanks so much.



I'm glad you found the world original. I have to admit that I don't read very much fantasy but my wife reads a lot (really, a lot) and she couldn't think of a precedent for my story in her memory.

Anyways, this fic was rich and filling, like the perfect piece of chocolate cake.

Mmm, cake…



I still hope to write Willow's version someday. When I do, it will be here.



Thanks for your comments.

[JustSkipIt]

Wow! Foo has made me a totally fantastic Wallpaper. Thank you so much.

[em317]

Although I really didn't like the power difference in the relationship I did like the story over all. I read you were planning a sequel ... is there any news on that

[JustSkipIt]

em - I hear you. The power differential was sort of a big part of it all. But you shouldn't like it at all. I'm glad you liked the story. I have the sequel all planned in my head but it's a matter of the time to do it.

Thanks.

[restlessminds]

Apologies, I have been dreadfully remiss in failing to feedback sooner on this quite exquisite of fics. I read it quite a while ago but the vapour trail of it's resonance remains.

Beautifully written, soul-achingly tender, happiness from start to finish.

Thanks for all you have shared with us.
restlessminds

[JustSkipIt]

restlessminds - Hey there. Thanks so much for commenting. I'm happy that you enjoyed the story.

[WrongObsession]

You're probably sick of me at this point, and I totally understand. I'd be annoyed if some punk kid (I promise I am not a kid) kept rummaging through my stories and commenting a lot.

This one made me get teary eyed. And I pride myself at being able to sit stoically throughout those emotional movies. But this… I felt Hoover dam approaching. It was so beautiful. I especially loved when Dani choose her name. I jumped up and down and did a little dance.

Confession Time, I had previously read this story on Through the Looking Glass. I admit I’ve read a lot of your work there, but because I didn’t know how to really express how amazing you are as a writer I never said anything. So for the sake of commenting I am re-reading your stories. I can even comment freely and be the pain that I am. =) But seriously, this story was absolutely beautiful, brilliant and magnificent. Thanks for writing. You’re on my list five inspirational fan fiction writers!

So again thank you.

[JustSkipIt]

WrongObsession - Hey there. Believe me that I never get irritated or anoyed with someone, punk kid or not, reading and commenting on my stories. I'm glad you've found them and think they're worth comment.

This one made me get teary eyed. And I pride myself at being able to sit stoically throughout those emotional movies. But this… I felt Hoover dam approaching. It was so beautiful. I especially loved when Dani choose her name. I jumped up and down and did a little dance.

Do you have pictures? (not of the crying, of the dancing) cause that's probably cute. Anyway, I hear you and that's nice to hear.

I'm glad that you found the stories on LG and read them there and then moved over here for the fb. That's a good way to do it. Sometimes when I'm rereading, I like to see all the fb and other times I want to read it straight through so I go over there.

But seriously, this story was absolutely beautiful, brilliant and magnificent. Thanks for writing. You’re on my list five inspirational fan fiction writers!

Thanks you so much. Now I'm curious: who are the others?

[WrongObsession]

lol sorry no pictures. Next time though.


Well I don't know any of them on first name basis, and none of these are in a ranking order, it's like I have to smash all of you at number one.

Alcy-Van Rosenberg blew me away, and right dead in the middle of reading it I was forced on this crazed camping trip. It almost killed me. Chris Cook- I am a HUGE James Bond, and Avengers fan. So imagine my excitment when I found out he combined them with Tara and Willow. dlline- After reading The Rosenberg Files, I was inspired to strive and join the FBI, first I have to finish college but you get the idea. Justskipit I am pretty sure you're aware how I feel about your stories =]. And last but not least Watson. I went on this rampage for his/her stories. I am pretty sure my favorite would be Lamplight.

That would be my 5. Lol sounds like one of those T mobile comercials.

[rawrmeister]

ok, so..........sequel? pwetty pwetty pwease wit cherwies on top? begbegbegbegbegbegbegbeg

I'm begging!!!!!!!!

PWEASE!?!?



cause this is awesome, and no way can you just leave us with that. dear god no. it just blares out "and this is leaving you hanging so I can give you a really happy ending with a sequel"

andandandand

I'm begging!!

pwease?

I mean I read this like five days ago and I can't get it out of my head and I need to know what happens and i would've posted then but I knew i was going to be obnoxious and i was trying to avoid the obnoxiousness in the awesome author's direction but i can't help it pwetty pwease!?!?!?

[JustSkipIt]

rawmeister - Hi. Thanks so much for commenting. I actually re-read this myself last week. I've got the idea for a sequel but the writing would be quite an undertaking. Right now, I'm sort of concentrating on short stories for the lack of commitment required.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and that you've been thinking of it.

[JustSkipIt]

WrongObession - lol sorry no pictures. Next time though.

Hey there. Thanks for answering. I'm a huge fan of everyone you said. Alcy is a wonderful writer as is Chris. Diane's now a published novelist with Rosenberg Files now a novel. Joining the FBI would be cool and I'm sure Diane would be touched to hear that. I love Common Areas and just read White Screams today. Watty loves fb so feed that monster as well please.

PS - We're all on Facebook of course. I can't speak for them but you're welcome to friend me if you're there. If you don't know my name, send me a PM.

[irishgrl3]

I just reread this and had forgotten how great this story is. I believe I liked it even better this time. It is so beautifully written, it spoke so visually, much like a movie in my head. So I'm thinking you should screenplay it.

I didn't struggle so much with the "power imbalance" (maybe because I knew how it ended? I don't know...) I feel like it should've bothered me more but again it is fiction and either read it and process it for what it is or don't, my motto.

Faith was a wonderful character in this fic, I liked her a lot. She seemed to be the one able to get through to her stubborn sister. Thank goodness for that.
So people keep screaming sequel and that would be nice, I know probably a whole lot of work on your part though. Maybe someday?

I also realized that I never left feedback when you actually wrote it as I was reading it back then. Very bad, I know, so asking for forgiveness please...
-anna

[JustSkipIt]

Irishgrl3 - Hey there. I'm glad you enjoyed it so well and felt like it was movie-like. I'll take that as a compliment. The narration was a hard thing to figure out in terms of POV and time. LOL - Screen play it.

I can see having the power imbalance thing not bother you partially because it's just such a different universe. YOu know? It's just sort of not a thing and it seems so normal there.

I love Faith nearly always and I'm glad she worked for you here. No problem on missing the fb the first time through. It always nice to open my email and have a note that there's a reply. It reminds me of so much.

Thank you.

[amber addict]

WOW

This is an amazing fic. I love the whole universe you have created here, I am curious as to what the marks would look like.
One question though that Tara wanted to ask Dani was where she learnt the stuff they did the night Tara received her marks, I don't remember it being answered in the fic did i miss the answer?

Anyway, it was a really really great fic.

[JustSkipIt]

amber addict - Thanks for reading and commenting. I think that in my head I had an image sort on the image on the Indigo Girls's Rites of Passage cover art but it would be a sort of combination tattoo/brand. And as for where did Dani learn it, I'd say she was guided by instinct and they certainly expanded their activities over the next few years without researching it or asking anyone else or anything.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[tarebear]

It's been a while since I've been on this board that I feel like a newbie again *looks around at how everything seems to be different and yet not*, and I've read many stories (mainly from other ships) in the interim. One thing I've missed though is the richness of landscape that is the Willow/Tara universe -- this story being a prime example of that. I'm revisiting this story and just noticed I never got a chance to leave proper feedback. Forgive me.

Even after all this time, the power to make me in awe of this story has not diminished at all. This is such an intricately woven story so much so that I see in my mind's eye all the pageantry in bold Technicolor. And yet behind the majesty lies Tara's inner struggle with regards to Dani and their roles in society. Answering the ultimate question of "does she or doesn't she?" regarding Willow's true feelings (love vs servitude) can be quite misleading if basing on Tara's POV alone because, as she has pointed out, she has a tendency for self-preoccupation. Also, being a Lady affords her (and us as readers) a different perspective. I love Faith though because she does provide a glimpse of the bigger picture. Tara might have been a little hasty in her decision to free Dani, but in the end we see that it's all for the best. Though her execution does leave much to be desired ( at Tara).

Again, if I haven't said it plainly enough, you did a marvelous job, Debra.

If I were to be asked what keeps me a W/T fanfic shipper, I will direct them to this story [s]and later on to the archives where all the other lovely completed fics can be found [/s] In the same vein, you (along with the other talented writers of this board) and your stories is what will keep me coming back.


-ces

[fhiwda]

I do not get on the board very often anymore...maybe just a couple or few times a year, but everytime I get down, I decide to read a fic and when I come to the board, the first stories I look for are yours. You have truly impressed me with your writing time and time again. You do an amazing job at relaying every detail to form a great image in our minds. Even though I started feeling more and more down throughout reading this, it ended on a happy note...It was a rushed happy ending leading me to believe it wasn't suppose to be, but great job.

[KnightlyLove]

1. I just stayed up till way after the sun rose reading this story. Unfair. But delightful. A truly amazing story.
2. I was *so* sure that poor Dani would be forced to sleep with Lord Finn or whatever. You built that up so much, totally disturbing.... soo glad that it didn't happen!!! I was completely convinced that Dani had just up and left Tara because she couldn't stand the thought of being so completely under others' command. True, hard to do against the magic of the bonds, but Dani is also a magic-user AND Tara'd been away, making it easier... That tension I think truly distinguished the piece.
3. I feel like it's evidence of extraordinary love that Tara was so worried about what exactly Dani wanted, even though... Ugh I'm totally incoherent... even though her culture and upbringing wouldn't really allow her to even think in those terms.
4. This story also brings up the excellent question of, "What is free will?" I feel like that's so difficult... Tara's distress was based on the worry that she was making her lover suffer by desiring her, and in the absence of the possibility of actual suffering, the question of free will suddenly becomes less important.
5. Also, having just gotten out of a 9 month long relationship with somebody who truly didn't ever desire certain parts of me, I'll say that Tara was definitely giving Dani a LOT of credit as an actress. Of everything, I'd say sex is the one thing that it's hard to lie about.
5. Such a great irony that the "legendary love" of her parents was... kind of... faux.

aaaaahhh the sunlight is blinding!!
=P I'd also like you to know that I dutifully read a good portion of your recommended list of fanfic which was hosted on MysticMuse. You have a devoted fan.

[BeMyDeputy]

Woah.

That is . . . incredible. Rich, detailed, vibrant. This is absolutely masterfully written.

And, total bonus mind-fuck: along the way, you realize that what you're reading about isn't okay. At all. And then everything twists, like the moment in The Shining when you see "red rum" in the mirror and it says "murder" and you're like "SHIT!"

All I can say is that this story makes my ego feel bonus stoked that you read my stuff and like it.

And now, back to the author index, to see what else I missed.

Kate

[Promthea128]

I read this a while ago, then saw it was top page and decided it was worth a rearead. Definately worth it. I would give you a million and two m&ms if the sequel ever got written/posted.

[ceridwen]

I just re-read this story and loved it (once again).

I was wondering if you still plan to write the sequel... or was it the same story but from Willow's POV?

Either one would be great!

[JustSkipIt]

Well, to everyone who has posted, again, I’m sorry for the long delay in responding. Apparently I have a habit of forgetting about this baby and forgetting to check for feedback. Well, here we are and I’ll try to remedy that in short order.

tarebear –

I totally know that new and yet not new feeling with this board. As soon as you feel like there’s nothing you recognize, there’s an update to some old story and it’s like, “oh… there are those folks…”

I'm revisiting this story and just noticed I never got a chance to leave proper feedback. Forgive me.

No problem.

I absolutely wanted to be able to portray the pageantry and formality of their lives but at the same time I wanted to express the extent to which their existence is governed by nature – crops, animals, war, children. Even magic is a part of their world and they have a responsibility to care for it as shown by the way magic is passed down through the non-magic users so that they can teach it to their children when the time comes.

Answering the ultimate question of "does she or doesn't she?" regarding Willow's true feelings (love vs servitude) can be quite misleading if basing on Tara's POV alone because, as she has pointed out, she has a tendency for self-preoccupation.

Absolutely. I love playing with the concept of the unreliable narrator. How often are we expected to simply believe that what the narrator says is actually true? What if it’s not or what if s/he can’t see what’s true?

Tara might have been a little hasty in her decision to free Dani,…

I think that’s an understatement. But ok.

Again, if I haven't said it plainly enough, you did a marvelous job, Debra.

Thank you so much.

fhiwda – Hey there!

… when I come to the board, the first stories I look for are yours.

Thanks for that honor.

You do an amazing job at relaying every detail to form a great image in our minds. Even though I started feeling more and more down throughout reading this, it ended on a happy note

I’m glad you thought so.

...It was a rushed happy ending leading me to believe it wasn't suppose to be, but great job.

Interesting. This was always what I planned for the ending. I think the rest of the story grew larger than I intended but the end was exactly on schedule. Thanks for the insight though about how it seems.

Thanks so much.

KnightlyLove – Well first off, I’ve read part of your story and enjoyed what I’ve read. It’s intricate and complex and quite a refreshing read. Second, I noticed that you gave me a shout-out in that thread and I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Wow, all night? Cool. I haven’t stayed up all night since my son was born and before that it had probably been 10 years.

I was *so* sure that poor Dani would be forced to sleep with Lord Finn or whatever. You built that up so much, totally disturbing.... soo glad that it didn't happen!!!

Well, we do have the KB FAQ and KB rules to comfort us in times of fear like that. I will say that in the very paltry portion of the sequel I’ve written, Willow’s sleeping or not sleeping with Lord Finn is one of the very first discussions the reader will encounter. Tee hee.

Interesting that you wondered if Dani had left Tara. I never intended that Dani would have the ability to do that at all. I’m glad you liked the tension tough. Yes, Tara loved Dani truly making her wonder and hope that Dani loved her back. She didn’t need to worry but she did which makes her a very different person from what she could have been.

Yes, the story is largely about free will.

I'll say that Tara was definitely giving Dani a LOT of credit as an actress. Of everything, I'd say sex is the one thing that it's hard to lie about.

Lol. ON the other hand, if she was right about the magic, wouldn’t the magic have given Dani the ability to fake it really really well?

Such a great irony that the "legendary love" of her parents was... kind of... faux.

True dat. At the same time, I sort of wanted her mother’s story to show both that she could love 2 people at the same time and how strong the responsibility for her to carry on her magical line was. And it’s even stronger now for Tara.

I’m glad you liked the list I posted over there. I probably have new ones to add to it now but I’d have to give it some thought.

BeMyDeputy – Hello! I got your PM and I’ll respond to that as well.

Woah.

That is . . . incredible. Rich, detailed, vibrant. This is absolutely masterfully written.

I’ll take feedback starting like that any time!

And, total bonus mind-fuck: along the way, you realize that what you're reading about isn't okay. At all. And then everything twists, like the moment in The Shining when you see "red rum" in the mirror and it says "murder" and you're like "SHIT!"

Love it. Anytime someone says some of my writing is a mind-fuck I take that as quite a happy.

All I can say is that this story makes my ego feel bonus stoked that you read my stuff and like it.

Lol. Can I be honest here? There are times that I’m feedbacking stories and it’s completely obvious to me that the authors have never read anything I’ve written and I’m sort of like… “hey! I know a little of what I’m saying here” but I keep that in my head and move along with the story. You know? But speaking of your story I truly love it. I love that they’re so sensually verbal and although Willow’s analytical, it’s quite sexy and hot as well.

And now, back to the author index, to see what else I missed.

Ha ha. Well, I’ve got lots more out there and I could recommend some other good stories if you want.

Thanks so much.

Promthea128 – Thanks so much. Wow. A million and two m&ms? That would take even me a few days or weeks to eat them. I just had a handful a moment ago but still… Ah. That darned sequel. Well, I’ve written about ½ a chapter of it. Does that count?

Thanks so much.

ceridwen

I just re-read this story and loved it (once again).

Well, Thank you.

I was wondering if you still plan to write the sequel... or was it the same story but from Willow's POV?

The sequel would start from about 6 months after this one ended. It would be narrated by Willow and basically tell what is the current situation of their lives and then take them on an adventure to discover Willow’s heritage, the basis of her magic, her father, would she want to make a claim on that estate, and what would they do about children. Right now, it’s all in my head but writing it down is a different thing.

[KnightlyLove]

Can I please... umm...
Sell my soul to whoever will give YOU whatever will compel you to write it down????
I hope that came out right.

. I never intended that Dani would have the ability to do that [leave Tara] at all.

Methinks you're underestimating the power in Willow's magic (and general force of personality). I'm allowed to say that by way of Death of the Author.

And on my insignificant fiction, I think I'm just going to hit the whole damn world from the other direction, which precludes the Tara and Willow storyarc enough that it won't be posted on this board. Which means I need to wrap it up in probably just two more chapters, I'm just working on that now...

[JustSkipIt]

KL - Keep your soul. I'll write it if the Muse starts pounding on my skull hard enough to make me sit down and do it. We'll see how powerful she can be...

[JustSkipIt]

Resubscribing.

[wayland]

Hi Debra,

I read this story when I first discovered the board, two or three years ago. Reading it again now, and taking my time over it, has been a real pleasure.

I do read some fiction with a fantasy setting, but I’m often disappointed when authors get so caught up in the details of the world they have created that they neglect the characterization and drama of the story.

Your description of the culture and customs of this society complements the characters and explains them. It does not overwhelm them.

I’m impressed by the way you handled the first person narration. You give fleeting references to Tara’s remorseful reevaluation of her past actions, but mainly you show us her thinking at the time of the events described. This gives the drama immediacy and you avoid completely that irritating ‘If I had only known then. . . ‘ type of foreshadowing.

Seeing so little of Dani and not knowing her true feelings creates a wonderful imaginative space for the reader to inhabit. Gradually, we piece together a picture of Dani that is clearer than Tara’s. For me, on second reading anyway, the pivotal moment is when Dani is distraught and incoherent at the idea of being taken against her will by the lords. And Tara completely misinterprets this. She doesn’t consider that, if Dani can be so distressed at even the thought of such exploitation, she could not possibly have faked her desire for Tara for years. Dani initiated their intimacy in the first instance, (unbound), and later, when she is slow to do so again, it seems due to her battle to overcome her ingrained training, her fear of seeming ‘too forward’. If she were the perfectly trained servant that Tara imagines, she would have no real problems with marks rights. (Unless Tara did, and then her distress would be of a quite different nature.)

At the end of the story Tara’s guilt seems to be focused on her perceived sexual exploitation of Willow, rather than the bonded servant practice as a whole. This makes sense. Giving characters in historical or fantasy fiction 21st century Western values can break the spell. Tara’s world is Dani, and she only really questions the customs of her society as they relate to their relationship.

The feedback is also fascinating to read. It occurs to me that most published authors, (aside from a few mega bestsellers), do not get this level of response. If they’re lucky they get a couple of reviews from critics, (who may not be sympathetic to their work), and perhaps a few general compliments at book signings etc. There are many books I adore, but I’ve never once written to the author to say so, let alone offered a detailed commentary.


This is a lovely story. I would really like to read a glimpse of this world from Willow’s POV. I know that a full-length sequel would take more time than you have available, but perhaps you might consider a vignette or something similar?

Clare