As Time Goes By

[Darth Pacula]

G'day, Mary.

I love this time difference thing. You post late-ish at night, and the brand spanking new update is there waiting to be devoured when I stagger home from the salt mines. Though I do have to ask a question: where did you get the title from? I only ask this because every time I read or say it ( yes, I'm talking to myself ) I think of a British comedy called the same thing, and they don't really match.

Hey, you mentioned the cheese guy from Restless! Way to fit in seemingly random tidbits from the series to give your story that special Buffy feel. That being said, what the hell was with that weirdo anyway?

I loved your descriptions of who among the scoobies was a morning person, and who was more likely to walk into walls and communicate in monosyllabic grunts. Guess which camp I fall into. I also loved the little flashback discussion on the use of magic to change diapers. Oh hell, who am I kidding? I loved the whole thing.

since the first infant gazed up at the first parent and expressed some version of the universal dictate: "Make everything OK for me."

Wow. You've totally captured what I think the essence of parenthood is, to begin with anyway. Not that I'm anything close to an expert. Emotionally, I think I'm still closer to the child end of that particular spectrum than that of the parent.

Whew! You've covered some pretty heavy territory here, Mary, in regards to the nature of fate and destiny, and how much of a part they play in our lives.

I've personally never had much faith in all this prophecy business. Hell, most of the damn things are so vague and open to a hundred different means of interpretation, that it's only after the event they supposedly prophesize that they make sense. Then you have the ones that are self fulfilling. Just think about it; knowing that some particular event is prophesied to occur inevitably changes the way in which you act., but who's to say this new behavior isn't what in fact caused the aforementioned event to occur. Hang on a sec, I've gone cross-eyed.

But I have to feel for Tara, and completely agree with her anger in the way with which these so-called higher and lower powers incessantly screw with their lives. But to expect it to ever stop? Maybe it's the humongous, bitter cynic in me, but it never stops. They can try and cheat fate, change destiny, but they can't avoid the fact that these Powers That Be, whether good or evil, are always going to be there. Their only hope is that fate is not set, that destiny can be changed. Otherwise, if every little detail of our lives is preordained, what's the point of doing anything in the first place?

Whew, I think I'd better stop ranting there, before I spontaneously combust. That's not as much fun as it looks, I've heard.

Okay, Kyra's supposed destiny. What a shock it pissed off Willow and Tara. I can't say that I'm surprised, I expect this kind of Machiavellian chess game bullshit from the PTB's. That's about all those poncy dimwits seem able to do.

And this whole issue about choice? Who says that Kyra doesn't have it? Are they going to physically compel her to do their bidding? To jump through hoops like a trained monkey? Not bloody likely. I can't see any daughter raised by Willow and Tara blindly following anybody's instructions.

Everything in life we do is by our choice, assuming that our whole lives aren't mapped out to the smallest detail already. It might not be much of a choice, but we always have it. Which makes those that commit evil acts that much more sad. No matter what their excuses are, they had to have made a choice to start down that path at some point. And, hey I'm getting off track again.

Okay, for Kyra to achieve her "destiny" ( please imagine that being said with big, sarcastic air quotes ) they have to let the big bad reach his quota? Not bloody likely, mate. And letting slip that foiling his/her/it's evil schemes will derail their plans for the bub? Well, that was stupid. Which makes me wonder if perhaps it might be intentional? Oh crap, you've sent me spiraling off into a paranoid, conspiracy theory fit. Thanks ever so much for that, Mary.

Okay, now my brain is hurting from all this thinking you've inflicted upon me. Shame on you. Or not.

As always, I remain in awe of your talent, and remain your not quite humble flunky Down Under.

Bye for now,
Paul.

[Washi]

Well. Fuck.

That was my theory, not all of it, but still.

[watty]

Before I get into what I really want to talk about this update, a word about Anya and Xander, and how Anya’s humanity continues to surprise me. A good surprise, even though the circumstance is not a happy one.

For all of the pain that the demon had witnessed--inflicted--over the years, the human was left paralyzed in the face of it.

I tend to think of the demon, the ex-demon and the human Anya as one entity. But you’re right, there are differences, and none more so than in the face, and aftermath, of death.

"Anya," [Willow] said suddenly. "Sometimes the partner or family will ask that money be sent to a cause or a charity, instead of flowers. See if his partner did that, and we can make a contribution."

Anya looked up at her in surprise, and unmasked gratitude. "I will," she said quietly. "Thank you."

What strikes me about this exchange is: 1) how Willow’s compassion comes through, compassion for Trevor’s family, but most of all compassion for Anya, whom she hasn’t had the best relationship with over the years; and 2) Anya’s reaction, again showing her humanity. Her surprise is at Willow’s tip, or surprise at Willow’s understanding? She and Willow haven’t been the closest of buds, and Willow’s suggestion is so fitting under the circumstances, and so generous, it must touch Anya’s humanity.


I want to focus on the Rosenberg-Maclays for the rest of this post. My initial reaction to Willow wanting to talk about Kyra was – wait, what about the BB? They just averted five deaths in their group, shouldn’t they be tackling that rather than puzzling out Kyra’s origin and purpose? Upon reflection, I realized that Willow has gone through so much in her life she probably instinctively connect the dots without consciously thinking about it.

It doesn’t surprise me that Kyra is a pawn of prophecy (yes, big Eddings fan is me). The way she came to her mothers’ lives was too unusual, the vehemence of Willow and Tara’s reaction towards the Anadeis caught me by surprise. Perhaps they’ve gotten too comfortable in their tents along the banks of the river Nile. I mean, at the back of their minds, surely they must have known something is up; a baby doesn’t usually fall into one’s lap so conveniently, not to witches who have slayers and keys and ex-demons as family members. I applaud Willow for raising the question, but my heart aches for Tara, especially at her almost violent outburst.

"I am sick of this, Willow," she practically hissed. "I'm sick of having my family--at home, here--get fucked with by these bastards who hide out in heaven or hell or somewhere in the ether and just throw us like logs into some giant fire...watch us snap and burn and die, just to feed the flames. I am sick of it!"

Tara didn’t exactly sign up for this. Yes, the first night she and Willow slept together they had a post-coital werewolf attack, but did she comprehend what exactly she was getting herself into? Wasn’t it more of a “follow where Willow goes” kind of deal in the beginning? Of course the adventure at Cold Springs and with Beverly proved she has some mystical connection too. I can understand her frustration – all she wants is a simple life with her wife and daughter, and she ain’t gettin’ it is she.

So Kyra is the Guardian. Wait, the Guardian, or a Guardian? And presumably it’s a higher rank than Slayers and Protectors? Seems alot of responsibility to shoulder for anyone, let alone a small baby. Will she be ready when the time comes? Will she want it? Will she have a choice?

And may I say, boy do I hate smug higher beings. It’s all very well knowing that they know all that is to known about dimensions, prophecies and humans; and have the power to manipulate the poor humans’ lives, it’s another to be so obnoxious about it. Blech, I don’t like these Anadeis at all even though I know they act on the side of good, and are right when they say:

She must know fear, in order to learn courage. She must know vulnerability, to become invincible. She must know weakness, to reach her greatest strength.

Just as Giles, with his Ripper past, is the right Watcher for the greatest slayer in history, Faith, with her own dark past, will be a better protector/mentor/teacher than Buffy, with no disrespect to Buffy. I sense that there really is no choice about letting Kyra come to her powers, and the obnoxious Anadeis will have no hesitation in ensuring that is so. Better if the Scoobies accepted it, and take her upbringing into their hands. And look at what she can learn from the rest of the family:

• her mothers will teach her love and magic and protect her above all else
• Giles will give her the best watcher training
• Buffy will guide her on how to be a “chosen one”
• Anya will impart wisdoms on demon history and capitalist values
• Dawn will teach her how to feel like a normal human, knowing she’s anything but normal
• Xander will keep her grounded

Again, stupid smartass Anadeis, being so insensitive about human emotions. Was Willow’s high school meeting with Buffy staged or something that was fated to happen? They should have kept their mouths shut because whatever the case, she needs to know that her decision to stay in Sunnydale was her own, otherwise her life pretty much has no purpose other than, in her words, being jerked around by unseen forces in their games and wars.

Talking about games and wars, this sent a chill up my spine

she could not claim full power, regardless of her age, until the evil that now walks among you has claimed his tenth victim

I’m not very well versed in ethics, being the non-deep thinker that I am, but I recognize the dilemma. Do you sacrifice one to save many? Like Buffy had to kill Angel to save the world, where and how can you justify the actual taking of a life, or even lives? If I had gone to Sunday school, I would say that this is like God sacrificing his son to save mankind, and I know there are many stories that have been used to illustrate this point. I did a brief google search and easily found a few articles about double effect and the trolley problem. What was going through the witches minds when they learn about the three innocents who must be sacrificed in order to bring their daughter into her powers? Powers that are supposed to be used in the great struggle between good and evil? What should they do?

Which brings me to another thought - is there a difference if the one being sacrificed is not an innocent? Do you shoot a suicide bomber who is driving in a car full of explosives towards the target? Eep, I better stop before I delve into topics that are so far above my head. All remains is for me to thank you yet again for bringing up such thoughtful issues. You're the best.
[br]

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hello all. As always, thanks so much for the feedback! Clearly, the concepts of free will, destiny, and choice are ones that reside close to my heart. Is anything predetermined? Is there any higher power, guiding and influencing; are we completely on our own; or is there a Door #3, behind which resides some combination of the two? Who knows?

I do, in fact. Yes, I've been granted access to full knowledge of the universe. Now, where did I put my notes...

But seriously, folks...The whole idea of a child being sent in order to fulfill such a powerful and dangerous role is fraught with complications, particularly if you're the caretakers of that child. Do you try to spare him? When do you tell her? Does he get to make any choice?

I hope you like where I take this aspect of the story.

Now--on to individual replies.

Mary and Car: I await your fb with such eager anticipation that my cats are looking at me decidedly askance.

Ressick: Hey, kudos on pulling any feedback together, considering the late hour! Our girls are indeed fiercely protective of Kyra, and now Faith is officially in the mix. Thanks for the good thoughts!

Rose: Tense? Gosh, I wasn't trying for that...(Heh heh...) Enjoy!

Paul: Such wonderfully intricate thoughts for such an early hour! OK, so first of all: the title just kinda popped into my head. I was just thinking about where they all were now, and how their lives had changed, and I just went with it. Wish I could say I had some wonderfully intricate reasoning, replete with symbolism that coincides with the second phase of the moon and the later writings of Charlotte Bronte, but alas...

Restless cheese--please! I always loved that touch, b/c it captured both the utter randomness of dreams and their shared psyche. They're so connected, even their ludicrous elements overlap. (Look, Car--Venn diagram!) And the morning aspect? Oh, I'm right there staggering down the stairs with you, Paul. If it weren't for coffee, I might never achieve full consciousness iduring the day.

"Make everything OK for me": I'm no parent, but that's kinda how I see it. And parents--the good ones, anyway--try to come through.

Just think about it; knowing that some particular event is prophesied to occur inevitably changes the way in which you act., but who's to say this new behavior isn't what in fact caused the aforementioned event to occur. Hang on a sec, I've gone cross-eyed.

I agree! I think that knowledge or even suspicion of an allegedly forthcoming event alters our perceptual lenses. Same thing works in retrospect, I believe: We align our perception of Event A (the initial event) with everything that came afterward. Hence the ubiquity of our saying, "I should have known..." when so often that's not true. Had something else happened, we would have believed that to be the inevitable outcome.

Another excellent point:

And this whole issue about choice? Who says that Kyra doesn't have it? Are they going to physically compel her to do their bidding? To jump through hoops like a trained monkey? Not bloody likely. I can't see any daughter raised by Willow and Tara blindly following anybody's instructions.

Ah, I love how you see these people, Paul. The Anadeis are expecting that Kyra will shoulder her duty freely. But will that even come to pass, now that Willow and Tara know how to avert the process? Of course, the theoretical knowledge is a long way from practical opportunity. How can they even find this BB? Oh, wait--it's under my seat cushions. I should tell them...

Be you never humble, Paul--just keep sharing your own stories with us, and all will be well! Thanks so much for the thoughtfulness of your replies, and the discernment that obviously goes into your reading. Take care down there!

Washi: Wait, is that "fuck" because you expected it, or "fuck" because you didn't? In any case, hope you enjoyed it!

"Mary, what school did you learn your fashion sense from?" "Elementary, my dear Watson."

I tend to think of the demon, the ex-demon and the human Anya as one entity. But you’re right, there are differences, and none more so than in the face, and aftermath, of death.

That's how I see it, Watty. She's watching the drama from a different seat and sometimes it takes her breath away. Loved your points about Willow, too: they haven't been esp. close, but Willow had an immense heart and any time she sees someone suffering, she responds to it. The more she knows Anya's capable of compassion and respect, the more she extends the same to her.

The timing of the discussion: Yeah, I think Willow had a growing sense that Kyra was connected to the prophecy. For the first few months, esp. after Kyra got the medical all-clear, she could just focus on being Mommy Queerest and yes, I just made that up and yes, I'm inordinately proud of it. Now, though, Faith is here and is clearly connected to Kyra in some way; the prophecy talks about new light and Kyra came to them when they called for protection. Willow's inquisitiveness, her need and desire to know, have now assumed ascendancy. Finally, too, I think she believes that they need to have this information in order to best protect their daughter, and that belief would tip any scale.

God, I loved your observations about Tara, and how she especially might be sick of this. Excellent memory on the "GS&A" terrain, too!

Is Kyra singular in her alleged destiny, or one of many? That'll come out soon.

I'm having fun with the Anadeis, for the reason you point out: they're arrogant, yet they conspire for good. They don't fall neatly into the "love them or hate them" category. I was always intrigued by the group that Nikita worked for: their cause is just, but oh, those means...I see the Anadeis as more humane in some ways than the actual humans at that secret agency, but they believe they have the right and the responsibility to set things in motion and if that means playing with a few humans for the good of the many, then there's no question. My question, of course, is: so why don't you come fight? Sorta like looking at the current US administration, so willing to send men and women off to die, when none of them have ever seen battle. If it's such an important cause, Dubya, howzabout you send Barb and Jenna off to enlist? (Of course, we'd have to get Jenna off the sauce long enough for her to pass her physical...)

I also loved your thoughts about Faith as mentor, and her particular qualifications vis-a-vis Buffy. You also have some great points about the other family members and their offerings. So you think her coming into her powers is a done deal? Hmm... (Mary nodded enigmatically, but Watson couldn't see her, and thus had to take her word for it.)

Your whole discussion of the ethics involved...That'll be a huge part of the what comes next. To whom lies the ultimate responsibility? Who should be expected to make what sacrifices? Is one life truly worth more or less than another? I loved the discussion at the Magic Box in "The Gift" (as the learned Watson would term it, "5.22" [I think; I know it was the 100th episode!]) when they were discussing the possibility of killing Ben. It became a moot point, but it would have been a fantastic exploration.

Thanks for your support and for your wonderfully perceptive comments, Watson. You do indeed have nuance!

OK--more as events warrant.
Mary

[Patches]

Mary

Fate vs free will, huh? You really don’t like the mundane, do you? There’s also a bit it of, ‘does the good of the few, or the one, outweigh the good of the many,’ and balance of power between light and dark, good and evil. The Manicheans argued that one could not exist without the other. To set a prophecy where light emerges from dark, that’s a mind fuck—of a very traditional kind. It wasn’t until Augustine that “we” decided time was linear, supplanting the previously held notion of the cyclical nature of being. How this relates to the story (good question, I’ll ask the hamsters…yes, yes, oh, right, of course…) the notion that light gives way to dark and dark give birth to light is a cyclical arrangement.

My curiosity is piqued about this BB. It is not a new entity, which raises a question. The Anadeis had to wait, but why was this thing acting in the past—to what end; what the frilly heck was up with the BB’s previous soul harvesting activities? Random coincidence in a world where the PTB claim there is no coincidence—how can that be.

Now, to Tara and Willow – wow, that was intense. The emotion was palpable, and I couldn’t help but think, Go Willow – Go Tara! Besides, we’ve all seen what happens when someone/thing attempts to fulfil a prophesy, not gonna happen with the Scoobies on call. But then again, Mary, *you* weren’t writing for the show.

However, there’s more at play here, though. Bit of a moral dilemma, brewing; will defeating the BB, and thus ‘normalising’ Kyra, strip her of the right to choose her own destiny (well dear, we knew you were going to grow up to be ‘different’ – gay – so we took precautions to make sure that wouldn’t happen to you. We did it b/c we love you and wanted you to have a normal life, and because we were capable of doing it.); if so, are W&T any different from the PTB? Is it Kyra’s nature to be the Guardian, which is why she was called into being, and do W&T, although acting with the best intentions, have the right to make that decision for her. (Don’t look at me, Mary. I’m not the one setting these traps…lol) On the other hand, can the justification of saving three lives be used, as in order for Kyra to come to power three people must die. The good of the one…humm; I shall delight in watching you write your way out of this moral moras.


So...if one can only know joy to the extent one understands despair, is, one can only know good to the extent one knows evil, true? Anyway, thanks for the great story. [ETA: this might work if it was worded properly...apologies for the mush brain.]

Cheers!!
Patches

[LeatherQueen]

Well. Well well well well well.

Hm.

Quite a little moral dilemma here. On one hand Tara and Willow will most definitely want to stop/kill this demon/great evil that is threatening them in order to prevent more deaths, but even more so, to prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled.

On the other hand, there's a golden band.... Oops. Sorry, that's a bad country song that got stuck in my head. But seriously, on the flip side is the issue of what destiny Kyra has to fulfill. And if that destiny will make a better world for everyone. This brings to mind that whole, the good of the many outweighs the good of the few moral dilemma.

Quite a story you got here, Mary. I can't wait to see what path you'll take with destiny vs. free will on the line.

[justin]

That was brilliant as always

The descriptions of the various scoobies as they got up was great, though what has Faith got against tea? Is this a sign of some hidden anglophobia that we're seeing?

I liked the pancake shapes Tara produced

It's a good thing I can't see myself cheating. I could never keep a secret from her.

I'd say it's a good thing too, since that would just be wrong on so many levels

"But maybe it was just a glitch, Will. Maybe...maybe somehow Kyra was created from the force of the spell and that's where she came from. Maybe there's nothing more to it than that."

Tara's arguing that Kyra's a normal girl but it's clear from her own actions that she doesn't believe this. After all if her theory was true then they'd have nothing to fear from looking into Kyra's origins.

The Aneides certainly seem to have issues when it comes to dealing with people, or at least with very protective mothers.

She will protect the child with her life. She will forfeit that life, if necessary, so that the Guardian may reach her full power."

That line suggests that Faith wouldn't just sacrifice herse;f to protecr Kyra but also to ensure Kyra comes into her powers. Would she really kill herself to ensure the prophecy is fulfilled? If so then that suggests some serious head trickery on the part of the Aneides.

It's understandable that they would want to shield Kyra but it seems in doing so they're preventing a forxe for good from being formed, so could it be seen as aiding darkness to do so?

[JustSkipIt]

Hey Mary,
Lots of answers here but it doesn't seem like the ones W/T want. Your dialog is very snappy here. Very snappy. Love and also love it. I like Buffy's determination and understanding about her role to protect Kyra. It's kind of nice because generally I don't have the best attitude about her but this Buffy... way cool.

Nice to find some PTB that actually answer their phone and give clear and honest answers rather than riddles or poems or shit like that. Or just don't even answer. Of course these answers W/T don't like which makes me think that they fail to understand the meaning of prophecy. I mean generaly in Buffy/Angel verse you can be assured that if there's a prophecy, it means it's going to happen somehow. Of course we don't want Mr. BigBad to get his last 3 do-gooders and certainly not Xander, Dawn, & Faith, but if he does, Kyra becomes a superhero? That's not a terrible fate.

So so so well done.

To answer your question. We had no bad weather in Austin at all. They forecast power outages and bad storms and all we really got was about 500,000 extra people in town for the weekend. So bad traffic but nothing worse. My sister couldn't get out of Houston so they stayed in their house and slept in the cedar closet and were perfectly fine. The lost power but nothing worse. Thanks for asking.

[spells42]

Mary
Sorry to fb so late - I've been away for a few days.

Your latest update was intense. At last W&T are investigating the probability / possibility of Kyra's connection to the current hellmouth happenings. Her genesis and events since have been too coincidental to just accept as a happy chance for W&T to have a baby.

I felt the distraught emotions of the mothers as they recognised the fight against evil is neverending, and the life they've chosen for themselves is so NOT what they want for their daughter. They feel so strongly the need to protect Kyra that they defy and abuse powerful beings like the Anadeis (sp?).

The whole conversation with the Anadeis was emotionally powerful, but I couldn't help wondering: if these beings had studied W&T so carefully before entrusting them with the Guardian, why didn't they realise that the prophecy and everything else they were telling them, would infuriate W&T? Or did they behave this way on purpose to get the response they got? How sneaky are you being, Mary?

The Anadeis seemingly gave W&T the key to preventing the prophecied outcome, at the same time assuming that W&T would sit back and allow the deaths of another 3 beneficient members of the community. Regardless of the impact on Kyra's destiny, to accept the deaths of the few for the benefit of the whole (which benefit isn't demonstrated terribly well by the prophecy or the Anadeis) isn't something which the Scoobies have accepted in the past (canon), excepting Giles on occasion. So, no rational being, knowing W&T, would expect them to accept it now with the additional implications for Kyra.

Fascinated to see where you take us, Mary. Thanks for a great story.
Anne

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hello all. Many questions. I hope the answers are pleasantly crunchy and satisfying, with no lingering aftertaste. FYI, I'm gone for the next 2 weekends so for the month of October (or at least the first half thereof) I'll probably be updating about once a week. Will shoot for once every 4-5 days thereafter.

Patches, Patches; The Points that She Catches... Mundane? We got network TV for that! I'm a firm believer that light and dark are intertwined, inextricable. Now, has this BB operated randomly in the past, and the Anadeis are taking advantage of its current appearance to coincide with the coming rise of the powerful women? Could be. Demons come and go; some operate cyclically, basically going into dormancy between appearances. Hmm...

I'm glad the emotion b/w our girls came through, b/c that feels like the real crux of this deal: apart from the logistics and the facts and the mystical, these women love their daughter, and that's exactly who Kyra is to them. Now, though, they no longer have the luxury of pretense, that perhaps this was just one of those rare occasions where a fluke event works in their favor. I think it's interesting that Tara was willing to cling to that long after Willow had consciously admitted its unlikelihood to herself. Tara's had her family jerked around so much already that her usual perspicacity was compromised.

Loved this:

Bit of a moral dilemma, brewing; will defeating the BB, and thus ‘normalising’ Kyra, strip her of the right to choose her own destiny (well dear, we knew you were going to grow up to be ‘different’ – gay – so we took precautions to make sure that wouldn’t happen to you. We did it b/c we love you and wanted you to have a normal life, and because we were capable of doing it.); if so, are W&T any different from the PTB?

Exactly the nature of this development, Patches, and it will not be an easy one to deal with. ("Well, Mary, that's what makes it a dilemma as opposed to a simple decision.") And yes, I'm feeling the pressure of handling this well. I hope you like where it goes.

Thanks for the great feedback, Patches, esp. in a time when things are crazy at work. Stay sane!

Leather Queen: OK, I've been meaning to ask you: Who's this Pratchett person, and what's with the arm-ripping librarian? Intriguing...

A moral dilemma indeed: the few vs. the many; the beloved vs. the abstract; Alien vs. Predator...(Wait, that's not right...) Yup--it's shaping up to be a doozy. I hope the writer knows what she's doing...

Thanks for the good thougths, LQ!

Justin Time; Words Sublime! Ah, no anglophobia here. I just always get a kick out of people's eating/drinking habits: the things we consider absolutely normal (perhaps even imperative) and then our capacity to look at something someone else is putting in her/his mouth and say, "Eww!"

Tara's arguing that Kyra's a normal girl but it's clear from her own actions that she doesn't believe this. After all if her theory was true then they'd have nothing to fear from looking into Kyra's origins.

Nice catch, Justin. I think someone mentioned a few updates back that Tara doth protest too much. For the first time in her life, she truly has the family she desires. Her terror at the prospect of losing that is palpable, and understandable. It's not, however, reason enough to avoid getting the information b/c that information may be their best hope of keeping her safe. I think Tara just so longed to believe that there could be this little sliver of normality in her life. Yeah, good luck with that...

Oh, the Faith forfeiture feature: that would occur only in a dire circumstance; that is, Faith would give her life if necessary to keep Kyra safe. Her actual death is not a prerequisite of the role. And yes, how do Willow and Tara handle this? Are they aiding darkness by attempting to save Kyra from her role? The biggest complication in all of this is that Kyra can't speak, can't choose for herself. Buffy does have some element of choice, but Kyra--at present--has no voice. What to do? Where to go? Whom to date? (OK, spun out a little on that one...)

Thanks for the excellent reading, Justin, and for taking the time to send out such thoughtful...thoughts. Hope all's well with you!

Debra: First of all, I'm so glad things are well for you and yours. (A cedar closet? At least she'll smell great!) When my friends called to say that they were on their way, there was such a loud huzzah that went up around the table b/c we just wanted them close; we wanted to take care of them for even a few days, after all they've done to help out. I hope that the region gets a much-needed respite now.

I think you and I share some similar reactions to Buffy. I sort of have to rewrite her a little bit but you know what's interesting? I like writing her as a supporting cast member. When she's front and center, it's almost impossible not go delving into all of the "Oh, I'm chosen and this is my destiny but I want to be a normal girl but not really because then maybe I'm not special and I do so want to be special and I could well be dead before my next birthday but I can't just live in dread and I need my friends but they can't totally understand all I go through but without them I'm lonely and diminished and so I'll go shopping but my life is so, so complicated." (Repeat ad nauseum.)

Paul made some interesting observations about prophecy, and the nature of self-fulfilling ones. I see them as the most random of these variables, because so many times any slight tweaking leads to something that is perhaps a far cry from what the writers envisioned. And who's the source? I mean, are they belched from the belly of some ultimate power? Or are they just...there? Awaiting only someone to take dictation and another cast of characters to enact them? Pardon me while I log onto http://www.prophecy.com and see what I can find out...

Whoa--never expected that...Anyway, thanks for the kind words and the support, Debra. Glad that you and yours are all safe and dry.

Anne: Hey, no sweat on the delay. Just glad to have you. Yeah, I think Willow has finally accepted that it's just too likely that Kyra is involved in this prophecy somehow. So while if this BB weren't on the loose she might have been content to play mommy for a while longer before looking into her origins (everything seems so normal! she's so healthy!), that's now no longer an option. It's just far too likely that Kyra's involved in the "new light" element, certainly considering her immediate and reciprocal attachment to Faith.

And our girls...yeah, don't fuck with 'em around Kyra. They don't care who you are. I think they'll come to some far more complicated reactions as they digest all of this (not the least of which is the fact that the Anadeis sent them this child whom they adore so in the first place) but in that moment when the youngest one says Kyra's not really theirs--oh, very bad move...

If these beings had studied W&T so carefully before entrusting them with the Guardian, why didn't they realise that the prophecy and everything else they were telling them, would infuriate W&T? Or did they behave this way on purpose to get the response they got? How sneaky are you being, Mary?

OK, here's how I see it: these immortals studied Willow and Tara very carefully in order to ascertain the strength of their love for each other and their anticipated mother love, but I don't know that they ever got the whole concept of free will; at least, not terribly well. Way the heck back when, when we first heard them talking, one of them spoke with utter assurance that they would play their parts. I see most high powers as being guilty of arrogance: this is what we have set forth, and so you may kick and scream but trust me, child, there's a higher purpose so you go play your role, and yes, it's a very important one, but not the very MOST important one; we'll take care of that. I truly don't think the Anadeis expect them to actually fight this prophecy. They see W/T as being committed to good; used to making sacrifices for the greater good...This will simply be an extension (albeit a very painful one) of that practice. Yeah, well, we'll just see about that...

Expecting W/T to sit back and let this BB finish its work...Well, I don't think the Anadeis really think they can stop it. Remember, this thing's been wreaking sporadic havoc for millenia and nobody's stopped it. The only reason it didn't take Willow was b/c Faith was there (by their design) to preclude it and Willow could save Tara. (I think they would have been willing to let the other Scoobies to die, though that wouldn't have been their preference b/c this gang can help with Kyra, even if Willow, Tara, and Faith have the key roles.) They see it as a done deal. They're surprised that our girls would even ask the question ("What happens if the BB fails?") but they don't really expect them to be able to do anything about it.

Oy...I've practically written a novel here. I've got to stop making my replies when I'm drinking my morning coffee...I really enjoy your observations, Anne; thanks for taking the time to leave such thoughtful feedback. Scratch Pippin for me, and I'll do likewise to my own brood for you.

OK--Have a great weekend, all!
Mary

[LeatherQueen]

Leather Queen: OK, I've been meaning to ask you: Who's this Pratchett person, and what's with the arm-ripping librarian? Intriguing...

Ah, Pratchett. That would be Terry Pratchett, author of the Discworld series of books. Sort of Sci-fi meets Fantasy meets an insane person's head. And the quote comes from his book "Interesting Times". The whole quote goes something like this:

"The Dean lowered his voice. "Am I alone in thinking, by the way, that it doesn't add to the status of this University to have an ape on the faculty?"

"Yes," said Ridcully flatly. "You are. We've got the only librarian who can rip off your arm with his leg. People respect that. Only the other day the head of the Thieves' Guild was asking me if we could turn their librarian into an ape and, besides, he's the only one of you buggers who stays awake more'n an hour a day."

The Discworld series is great. Especially if you enjoy non-linear crazy sci-fi/fantasy. It's a genre of its own, really. Terry Pratchett himself best sums up his books like this:

"The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles are gathered together; the four elephants were an indo-European sophistication. The idea has been lying in the lumber room of legend for centuries. All I had to do was grab it and run away before the alarms went off."

"There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs."

Anyway, Pratchett has several good Librarian quotes in his books. And, as I am a card-carrying member of the Librarian race, I find them rather funny. And this one is my favorite. So voila! There you go.

And I must say, if you're looking for some good reading, check out his books. Especially if you enjoy parody and satire. That's what he's all about. And humor. Much humor to be found. http://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/

[jixer]

Hello Kittens-

Mary, I'm sorry to have missed you but my travels were confined to the Pacific Northwest where I was forced to endure the many hardships of Vancouver B.C. and sunny early autumn weather.

That's odd, I hear no sounds of sympathy. Oh well, onto the feedback.

The morning of the enforced sleepover was entertaining, though I would wonder about facing the day even if it was a SoCal Saturday after dining on 'The Scream'.

The scene as the mothers decide to face their fears and ask about Kyra was well done. We could feel the visceral unhappiness between Willow and Tara and I identified with Kyra. The smug 'look how we have moved the pawns, are you not impressed?' scene with the Anadeis was so true it bit. While they may be ancient powers I have found their overall tone echoed in people proud of their great plans who can be found anywhere mid-management is allowed to flourish. So Kyra's supposed to be a Guardian, forging some future power for good (as defined by the aforementioned celestial planning committee) out of the deaths of ten good people slain by an evil force. The logical, spiritual, and common sense meters all pegged on that one. Then there's the ethereal old biddies horror at Kyra becoming an 'normal' child.

Normal bakers from Bristol, cowboys from Calgary and bank clerks from Baltimore went ashore or dropped from the sky in 1944 to fight evil. Common folks risked death by torture to get the information needed for that and managed to get it out of a continent sized police state. Let's not forget that no 'great dark power' made the evil they fought, but rather average people in their own right choosing to do evil (or nothing) started that horror. Everyday people walked in the streets past water cannons, dogs and clubs to push Jim Crow off the law books. People without powers grab hoses and helmets daily in small and mid-sized towns across the nation in volunteer fire departments. Then there are those unbelievably mundane people who have children and manage to teach them right from wrong from Bangkok to Bar Harbor. You want a trial of endurance skip the vision quest or the mystic fire test and try a sick, feverish two year old who can't sleep anywhere but in your arms in the middle of summer.

As for betting on the outcome between 'destiny and prophecy' versus Willow and Tara's efforts I'll put money (or more valuable chocolate) on the two lactating females and their oddball family.


Thank you Mary, and now I wait patiently for more.


Jixer


PS- I add my endorsement of Terry Pratchett to Leather Queen's. As a
lover of mysteries would suggest 'Guards, Guards' as a first book.

[tal]

Mary,

Ah geez… now that was unfair on so many levels. Clear your schedule, she says. Be a lot easier if I wasn't like five gazillion miles away, and didn't have a job that allowed no life, wouldn't it? I bet Faith was pissed I couldn't make it. And I so need this backrub – it ain't funny.

Made it up with the update, though. Some major plot development. Did I mention I'm loving this story? I might have mentioned it… can't be sure though.

There's a saying in Hebrew (and no, that doesn't make me a scholar, just someone who speaks it) that goes something like this – all is written and the consent is granted. It's a Jewish philosophy meaning all is pre-destined but you still get a choice. Sort of a contradiction, I know, but we're Jewish so having two opinions in the same sentence shouldn't really surprise you.

Anyway, what I'm trying to babble here is that I just love the concept of a prophecy with a loophole. We all love the idea of a master-plan. Fate. Makes us feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. Makes us feel important. But we all still want the choice. The knowledge that we control our lives. No one likes feeling like a pawn. That's where the loophole comes in. love it, both on a philosophical level and as a legal strategy.

Oh, and a future full of girly-power. Gotta love that. Gotta love your writing too, but that's for a different babble.

Oh and next time – oil, bikinis and Faith at my place because you can never be too well informed.

Tal.

[Safuega]

Hiya Mary:

I apologize for being fashionably late. You know how it is, life, family, work, etc. get in the way but alas I am here.

So little Kyra is a feminist slayer? Yay, 'cause we really need one of those in this wretchedly phallocentric world.

I gotta be honest with you Mary, I'm not sure I share Willow's and Tara's concerns over Kyra's destiny. I see why they are both worried about this burden being thrust upon their precious daughter, but I also thought that even if their daughter was 'normal' there is a limit to what they can do to protect her from the world in general. This is every parent's impulse, to shield their offspring from all the bad, the ugly and the painful, but how many parents of normal children succeed in this noble quest. I am of the mindset that children do not belong to their parents but belong to the world. The best a parent can do is to strive to raise a kid to go beyond the parent's own limitations and in so doing preparing that new life to tackle whatever might come. Life and the journey of life is a lonely journey. We all must go through it alone to a certain degree despite our fondness for pairing up to lighten the load and enliven the journey. So, although I understand Willow and Tara's instinct to try and protect Kyra, I also understand that no protection can be foolproof and would rather not see Willow and Tara fool themselves. You do what you can and you hope that's enough so that your kid does not hate you and/or blame you later on when s/he is in therapy.

Okay, I have other thoughts but I'm a bit too tired to articulate them clearly so I'll leave it at that. You get one thought per update Mary, and no more!

As usual you do not disappoint, and as usual, I look forward to more.

Safuega

[meretricious]

Mary, first, my apologies for having been such an absentee feedbacker. turns out that turning your life upside down and shaking it really puts a crimp in your free time. who knew?
if i comment on every update i've missed, well, i'd be in carleen's territory word-wise, and would probably be sporting some serious carpel tunnel. i love how willow has, post thwarted suicide, been developing. she's not just the willow she was before, the experience has tempered and changed her more than the others, i think. and the beautiful amazing and hot love scene, wonderful how it parallels "on second thought" and shows how much willow and tara have grown together in that time. it would've been an incredible scene anyway, but there's such a richness to the context you've provided here. and i said hot right? ok.

so, current update. i'm of two minds here. of course w/t and the gang were going to try to prevent any more deaths without this motivation. even if they were somehow ok with kyra's destiny, can't see them ever being ok with allowing the 3 more deaths that will bring the guardian to her powers. otoh, they did invoke these anadeis to begin with, and were granted protection at a pretty dire time. and without the anadeis interference, sounds like the darkness would've risen again anyway, only they wouldn't have kyra, and faith wouldn't have been there, so willow would certainly be dead, and probably tara, too.

and i'm not seeing a lot in the guardian prophesy that's neccessarily bad. i know no one wants their child to have a hard life, but too easy a journey isn't good either. i know people i grew up with who had far easier early than others of us, and i've watched them struggle as adults, with poor coping skills. as it is now, sounds like kyra may have some struggles growing up, but also has some pretty powerful people looking out for her in the mean time.

though willow did an excellent job of navigating the minefield that was tara's emotions, and certainly they're coming out of this meeting with the anadeis on a united front again. willow's right, knowledge is power, and big help to know that those who have been attacked are in the clear now. certainly will make the watch system a little easier, though buffy may just physically attach herself to dawn for a while, likewise anya/xander.

i'm even more concerned for faith now, though. she's really gotten the short end of this sitch all the way around, and now some fates have "gifted" her with a love to the death for a child who's headed for a truckload of danger. love, love how you write faith, whether it's the heart-to-heart with willow, or her snarking over breakfast, she's just so compelling. would be awesome to see you write something more faith-centeric, maybe even as a side-sequal to this, assuming you don't martyr her to the kyra protection cause.

wonder if we're going to be learning more about this darkness/force soon. have you ever read the book "prince ombra"? your evil force here really echos that book for me.if not, it's an early 80's ( i think) book you can prob. find in the fantasy section of any used bookstore, it explores some similar themes to this, i think you would like.

ok, now that you've gotten me back on the fb train, i will sit back and wait patiently for next update. really. totally patient. not anxious at all....~mary

[Willow~Rosenberg]

Hey. Sorry about the late feedback. I finally found some time this weekend as the work seems to have evened out a bit for the time being. Here's hoping it stays that way. Oh who am I kidding? It won't. lol

Methinks the Anadeis pissed off the witches. And boy did they piss of the wrong witches.

I feel so sorry for Tara. She has had such a horrible year first with her family, Kyra's mysterious appearance, Willow's attempted suicide, her own attempted suicide, and now her daughter is a Guardian. Wow. That is a lot to handle for anyone. Now add on the usual death, war, and apocalypse that is the usual occurence in Sunnydale, and just... wow.

Willow will be interesting to watch now as she has a lot of power. If Kyra is threatened, to what lengths will she go to protect her? Hmm. I have a feeling that things are going to get ugly with this situation (not necessarily Willow going all Dark Magick-y, just the Kyra/BB situation all together).

The mention of Faith in there is also interesting. Igf I read correctly, Faith could be laying down her life to protect Kyra. Wonder how this information will sit with her? With Buffy? Will this give Buffy the extra kick to realize and be able to categorize just how she looks at Faith? I started thinking about how Buffy placed Faith by herself on Buffy's list a few updates previously. She wasn't in friends or family or something more, yet I wonder if Buffy herself is unsure? I wonder if Buffy does feel more for Faith than a Slayer/friend bond, yet she didn't want to categorize exactly what. I look forward to seeing what you do with this detail.

This story has so many places where it can go and it simply amazes me how well you write. I am looking forward to seeing what else you have in store for us with this story. Take care.

[wiccanspud]

hot damn...

so many issues... so little time!

okay, i haven't left feedback in a while so i'm probably a little rusty at this. the one issue that i really wanted to add my two cents in is the paradox of destiny versus free will. there's this metaphor i've heard before about being on a road. You can go left or right, go forward or backward, that's your free will. But your destiny is to be on that road in the first place. I find it funny that the fact that willow met buffy wasn't chance is insulting. maybe it was and maybe it wasn't, who really cares. the fact that interests me is that these people spend every day of their life *choosing* to fight. they could all walk away. buffy could take dawn and move to some random suburb away from the hellmouth. willow could have gone to oxford or harvard or stanford or any number of colleges or universities; she chose to stay and to fight.They all have some sort of destiny, and they all choose to enact that destiny and fight evil. that's just the kind of people they are.

I understand W/T's anger at the fact that their daughter is a "chosen one." As parents, they want to do everything they can to ensure that Kyra has a long and happy life. if she becomes some sort of warrior for good, chances are, she's probably going to experience pain and suffering. oh darn! everyone does. in fact, as most people on this board can probably attest, people who have had relatively easy lives have a much more difficult time adjusting to adulthood.

"Because she must learn, across the rolling luxury of time, of many things. She must know fear, in order to learn courage. She must know vulnerability, to become invincible. She must know weakness, to reach her greatest strength.

your words are simply beautiful. i love the people that these characters have become. thanks for taking the time to take them out and letting all of us play with them. they're a little worse for the wear, but oh so much more interesting.

~spud

ps. six billion people on the planet. this BB can't find three good people to compel to commit suicide? is W/T's plan really gonna be able to stop this BB?

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hello all. Again, I send out a big "thank you" to everyone kind enough to read this fic and let me know about it. (What? You couldn't hear me? OK, I'll do it again. Listen closely!)

I'll post an update tomorrow night (Wednesday).

Thanks!

Leather Queen: OK, now this is ironic: the Washington Post Book World this past weekend reviewd a Discworld book! ("Thud.") Whoa...Sounds like I'd love him. Should I start at the very first one, or is there one you'd especially recommend? Thanks for the info.

Jixer: Oh, my heart just breaks for you, Jix. No, really...BC is so hideous...

While they may be ancient powers I have found their overall tone echoed in people proud of their great plans who can be found anywhere mid-management is allowed to flourish.

Oh heavens, I loved that! Even more, I loved your point about the role of us "normal" people throughout history. Some have greatness thrust upon them, indeed...The theme of the Chosen One is such an enduring one in literature, but I'm often more drawn to stories of ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. Some pass; some fail. My question becomes, if I believe I'm chosen, does that belief heighten my strength, my agency in some way? I suspect it works differently for different people.

As always, your feedback makes me think. Thank you for that. I hope you had a great time; that's such a beautiful area!

Tal: I love the saying; it captures so well the connection b/w fate and choice. I'll have to use that sometime (said the woman of Irish extraction). And your own words:

We all love the idea of a master-plan. Fate. Makes us feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. Makes us feel important. But we all still want the choice.

Yes: the choice is what counts. It's such a fine balance: we want to think that there's some order in the universe; that somebody's driving while we're tumbling around in the back seat. But we don't want to be puppets in a play written lifetimes before our own.

Girly power? Oh, girl...You can't imagine I'd leave that out, could you?

Oh, I talked to Faith and she said that since it's you, she's willing to wait and fit into your schedule. She said to pass on her number. Meanwhile, she's going to pick up some massage oil and a new bikini; dark cherry red, I think she said...

Thanks, Tal, for the great feedback and thoughtful observations. Always love reading your ideas.

Safuega: How goes the mosquito recovery? I'm currently putting my garden "to bed," and every day I come in with a bite from some new life form. (I tell myself they're not spiders, b/c if they were I'd just pass out right there.)

You know, I suspect we share similar beliefs on the parenting front. We have a certain, clearly important role in keeping them safe and meeting their needs, and we often contribute genetically, but in the final product: there are just huge, yawning pools of random chance in that. They will be whatever they will be: butcher, baker, candlestick maker; sinner or saint or typically some of both. I've seen parents try so hard to control for every variable that heaven help 'em if (when) something unexpected happens. Here's where I think it gets tricky, though: I can say all of that as someone who isn't a parent--but I absolutely believe that becoming a parent would make it so tempting (if not inevitable) to throw that all out the window. I imagine that the mandate "Protect this child" would be a hard one to qualify, or limit, or calibrate in any way. And while I think Willow and Tara have both known, from the outset, that there might be strings attached to this gift, this is the first they've learned specifically that Kyra will face danger on a constant basis with no guarantee of protection, save Faith, and even she can't protect her forever. So while they would probably both agree with our own philosophies, in this case I think they're going crazy.

Your one thought is worth a great deal, Safuega, so you just send whatever you can! Thanks, and I hope your friend is doing well.

Mary, Mary; Eloquent? So Very: So good to see you again! I need to drop you a line about the move--hope it's going well!

Glad you enjoyed the lesbo lovin'. Those scenes are always so...invigorating to write. I loved your observations on the development too: of Willow, of their sexual intimacy.

OK, kudos for picking up on this:

otoh, they did invoke these anadeis to begin with, and were granted protection at a pretty dire time

Yes, indeed. And they will realize this. They're both in a state of near-shock right now b/c all they see is the danger. When the eldest spirit told Willow that she couldn't guarantee Kyra's survival, that was the final straw--for now. I share your thoughts about the prophecy. I think all of us want to believe we're special; that we have some unique and imperative role in the world. For Willow and Tara, however, such abstract conceptions miss the most salient point: their child will be in danger. But they couldn't ask for a better supporting cast. What would any of us have given to have such a crew looking out for us?

This whole "Kyra's origins" deal certainly tweaked things b/w our girls but they're finding ways to work through it. Tara's family has been so mucked with already that now, as a parent, she's really disinclined to put up with it. Their joined forces, though, will obviously make them stronger, both for each other and on Kyra's behalf.

You know, I love writing Faith. I knew I wanted her to be central to this story, but I didn't know how much I'd enjoy spending time with her. The thing that made her get on my nerves in canon was when she was doing the "I don't feel special enough" rant, but even that has its origins. I just like the girl...Plus I think she's five kinds of hot. Glad you're enjoying her, too.

I've never heard of the "Ombra" work. To be honest, I don't really read much sci-fi; it's sort of interesting that I became such a freak for Buffyverse. But I'll check it out. Thanks for the heads-up, and thanks for the good thoughts! Hope you're settling in well.

Willow-Rosenberg: Yeah--every time I think things have calmed down, it turned out that things were just taking a moment to catch their breath before mounting the next assault. ("Thanks, Mary," Willow said brightly. "You sure do help out!")

Cracked up at this:

Methinks the Anadeis pissed off the witches. And boy did they piss of the wrong witches.

Yes...Yes, they did. There have been some interesting thoughts thus far on what is anticipated to be a power struggle b/w these immortals and our girls. I think Willow and Tara capture so well our belief in the power of the Everywoman: those w/o superhuman strength or speed who nonetheless rise to majestic heights by virtue of their human qualities. And Tara's first year with her family, on the heels of everything else she's been through with her other family...yeah, girlfriend's about fried.

Oh, about Faith: it's not a prerequisite that she sacrifice her life. If necessary, she would give her life to protect Kyra, but it isn't a foregone expectation that she do so. That was just to underscore the powerful nature of her role in Kyra's life and development.

Thanks for the kind words, WR. I'm glad you're enjoying this; hope it gives a moment's respite in the midst of craziness!

WiccanSpud: How much do I love your avatar? Very much indeed.

The fact that interests me is that these people spend every day of their life *choosing* to fight.

Yes, yes, YES! (WiccanSpud backs away from the computer slowly, concerned and perhaps even slightly alarmed.) Does it really matter whether Willow met Buffy by chance? Whether any of them met any of them by chance? Each has had so many choice points, and they always chose this. The one exception was after Buffy slew
Angel, and even then she returned. The tricky thing is, Kyra's a baby. How do we let her make her own choice? Is there a means for such a thing? We'll see...

And of course our girls' first thought is of protecting their daughter. Every parents wants (or should want) to do this at a very basic level; how much more so if you've just learned that your child is destined to fight, to feel pain?

Thanks for the incredibly kind words about my writing. There are so many excellent writers on this board; it's a treat to share stuff here.

OK--update tomorrow night!
Mary

[LeatherQueen]

OK, now this is ironic: the Washington Post Book World this past weekend reviewd a Discworld book! ("Thud.") Whoa...Sounds like I'd love him. Should I start at the very first one, or is there one you'd especially recommend? Thanks for the info.

Well, the order in which the books should be read is a much-discussed topic in the Discworld community. Terry himself pretty much stays out of these discussions. The later books are funnier than the earlier books. I started with "The Color of Magic", which is the accepted first book in the Rincewind series. But others suggest starting with "Mort" or "Guards! Guards!". Or even "Equal Rites". This link is a good place to find more about what order to read the books in: L-Space Web

I hope you enjoy them if you decide to read!

[the hero factor]

The eldest voice echoed evenly about them. "Then Kyra would become as any other child. But this cannot happen, my dear. The prophecy has clearly foretold--"

Pffft. Don't these Anadeis chicks know that prophecies were made to be broken? Or something like that. Especially when the Scoobs are involved.

I'm curious about what the Anadeis said about Faith's role in this. They said she loved Kyra, more than even she can understand. Was that caused by them, to ensure Faith would protect her? Or is it just there, and the Anadeis used it to their advantage by bringing her into the picture? Hmmm.

Great update.

[cygnet 6]

Wow, interesting dilemma for Willow and Tara. Do they try to stop the BB and keep Kyra from getting her powers (with the possible result that the Protectors and lots of other innocent people die in the future)? Or, do they let the BB take three additional lives so that the prophecy is fulfilled? (Or, do they try to defeat the BB and fail?)

I can’t wait to see how this plays out. I’m with Willow and Tara, though. I think they need to try to defeat the BB and keep Kyra safe. Of course, I’m a parent, so my first choice would always be to keep my kids safe. Also, I can’t imagine that the Scoobies would just decide to let the BB kill three innocent do-gooders.

By the way, does Kyra get her full powers immediately when the BB gets its third victim? Because the thought of a grumpy little Guardian who missed her nap is truly terrifying.

Also, honesty compels me to add that, although my post count read zero when I first posted in this thread, I had given feedback a few times back when Pens was still on ezboard. So, it wasn’t exactly my “first time.” However, I only did it a couple of times before, and I hardly knew the other writers, and it didn’t mean anything. You know I only love this fic. (Well, except for a couple of other ones . . ..)

[LtSticks]

Mary, oh Mary. As soon as I see your name on a thread, I know I'm in for a treat, along with the rest of the Kitties.

I've lurked a bit on this fic, as I felt my heartfelt appreciation would not be enough to describe how simply amazing this is. Then I decided to reply anyway, and hope I can convey my supreme adoration and awe

My fave quotes of the last update:

"You wanna go all womyn power, let's see you get off your ass and do it yourselves. Lazy hags," she added

"How 'bout you shove that prophecy right up your incorporeal asses?"

I've never laughed so hard, in the midst of the tension about Kyra's destiny, comes lines that are simply hilarious and fit in so well with Willow's character.

I've laughed, cried, made many a thud throughout the fic to date, and I know you won't disappoint in the updates to come.

*Bows down to the supreme goddess that is Mary*

~Sticks

[UnderTheirSpell]

First off, I have to jump on LeatherQueen's Terry Pratchett bandwagon - i haven't read many of his books, but "Mort" is a decent place to start, simply because you just HAVE to love a book that features a camel named You Bastard as the greatest mathematician in all the land!

Anyhoo, now that i'm finally able to get online again (damn cable company motards) , on to a wee smidgeon of feedback.

Talk about pissing off the wrong witches, indeed! I have a feeling some PTB are about to get real familiar with the business end of two loaded mama-bears - sucks to be them! Wouldn't suprise me in the slightest if little miss Kyra put in her two-cent's worth, either.She may be a baby, but she's obviously not a typical specimen, and I imagine she knows on some level that this shit just ain't kosher, and just might decide to do a lil' sumpin about it. Can't wait to find out!

Yeah, i know it's short, but i did say "a wee smidgeon" of fb - i got almost a week's worth of fics to catch up on, so cut me some slack.

[GayNow]

Okay...so I'm finally here to leave some feedback for the last two updates. I'm sorry to say, it's not going to be as involved as my previous feedback. In all honesty, my mind is still whirling. There are so many things happening, it's hard to truly get a grasp on any one or two things. I mean, I read along and think, "Ha! My theory proven! Go me!" But in the next paragraph, my theory has been shot to hell. So beautifully done, Mary...you're really keeping me guessing.

The whole Faith/Willow conversation was really great. Faith is quite the puzzle, isn't she? She's so complex....but then she's really very simple. I read Faith's story about her childhood and I think of all the other stories I've heard just like hers. I feel sorry for her. We see where she's been and how she got there. Then we see where she is now and how she got there and that's where, I think, the complexity comes in. She sees all this too...and seems so overwhelmed. She just doesn't know what to do with herself. Again, I feel sorry for her. But the upside is that she has the Scoobies. She's proven herself to them and they've got her back. Her using Willow's name rather than Red is telling too...of what I don't know...but it's telling.

Now, I'm perplexed by the whole thing with the Anadeis. Not perplexed like "I don't get it." But perplexed like "I wonder where this is going to lead." On the one hand, Willow and Tara asked for their help, for their protection. They sent Kyra. Granted, they had ulterior motives, but still. And, really, when you think about it, Kyra as the Guardian is wicked cool. They asked for protection...well, they got it! On the other hand, I understand Willow and Tara having fierce feelings of protectiveness. No parent wants her/his child to have to go through things like that -- "My daughter is the Guardian and will spend her life battling for the safety of women everywhere? Her life will very possibly be in peril at all times? Whoo hoo! Break out the Kool-Aid, Honey...it's time to celebrate!" Uh uh...can't see it happening.

Plus there is everything else surrounding this whole Kyra/Guardian thing. The prophecy -- 3 more have to die to bring forth the light (I figured Kyra would be the light). Well, no Scooby is going to sit idly by and let 3 innocent people die. Faith -- she will give her life for Kyra if need be. Let's hope she doesn't need to do that. Willow and Tara were chosen specifically to be Kyra's parents -- I wonder if the Anadeis knew they would try to "break" the prophecy? Maybe that is part of what they were "conspiring". *shrug* I honestly don't know. You've got me confuddled, Mary. So delicious!

Okay, enough of my rambling. It's starting to annoy me, so I know it's annoying others already. All-in-all, two more great great updates, Mary. You never fail to amaze me. I'm so looking forward to seeing where all of this goes. Hopefully I will be back in "well thought out feedback" mode for the next update.

Carleen

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hello all. Some final replies, and then an update. Wish me luck on the posting!

Leather Queen: Ooh, a website! I'll check it out! Thanks for the info, LQ.

Hero Factor: Y'know, I think a lot of folks are thinking the Anadeis broke off more than they could handle with these two. And as for Faith's love for Kyra, the connection was mystically facilitated. The expectation, though, is that the more she comes to know Kyra, the more she will just simply love her. (As if love is ever simple...) Thanks for following, Hero--I appreciate the good thoughts.

Oh Cygnet...How could you? I...I understand. These things happen. And there are so many succulent, tempting writers on the board...how could I really blame you?

You know, it would be interesting to do a poll on readers' reaction to this dilemma based on parental status. I can only guess how protective a parent would be; you clearly get it at a gut level. Wouldn't that eclipse everything else? Seems likely...

A grumpy Guardian in need of a nap? Perish the thought...No, the Anadeis didn't specify exactly when she would get her full power; she simply becomes the Guardian, "officially" (in the mystical world) upon the BB's success. That's part of why Faith's here, in addition to providing protection.

I know you need to read other fics, Cygnet. I...I won't try to stop you. (Mary turned away, too proud to let Cygnet see her tears.) Thanks for the good thoughts, good soul.

Lt.Sticks: Hey, Lieutenant! General Mayhem, reporting for duty! It's great to see you here! And such kind words...You know, I just see Willow as being so scrappy, esp. when she loves someone, that she won't stay awe-struck for long. This is their daughter they're talking about, dammit!

Don't ever question the crunchety goodness of your ideas, Lt. Sticks--I love seeing your name here! Thank you, Sir yes Sir!

Under Their Spell: Loved the point about Kyra putting in her two cents' worth. Oh yeah...little bit isn't one to miss the action, is she? And yes, our girls are pissed. They may have chosen to fight evil, but that doesn't mean they're OK with someone else enlisting their daughter--even the beings who sent that daughter.

A wee smidgeon is plenty, Spell. I'm glad you got caught up, and enjoy the other great fics.

Car: Funny, girl--I just sent you an e-mail! Don't ever sweat being unable to send as extensive a feedback reply as usual. You have certainly demonstrated your thoroughness and your discernment.

You capture very well the dilemma that W&T are going to face, even though they don't fully realize it just yet. It's true that no child destined to be the Guardian could ever ask for better parents or support team, but it's still an extremely dangerous gig. Willow and Tara chose this; what voice does Kyra have? And of course the Scoobies wouldn't be inclined to let three more innocents die, regardless of Kyra's role. But...what about the women to come? To whom do they owe the greatest obligation and protection?

Faith is indeed a puzzle, one that she least of all has solved. But she knows she's getting closer to something true and powerful, even if it involves heartbreak. And I'm not just talking about her feelings for Buffy; I'm thinking of her entire redemption tour and the often unseen costs incurred.

Thanks for your great thoughts, Car. I just love seeing your name here!

OK--update to follow.
Mary

[AntigoneUnbound]

AS TIME GOES BY

Part 24

Synopsis: Willow and Tara have a baby but it's destined to be the Guardian and they're trying to block that prophecy and in so doing save three good souls from ending their own lives and Faith's involved in all sorts of ways, not the least of which is a serious jonesin' for Buffy. Also of note: Xander has cooties.

Pairings: Willow and Tara; Pomp and Circumstance

Disclaimer: I had a farm in Africa...but I never had these characters.

Distribution: So long as the material is distributed in lead-free containers...and acknowledgement is given.

********

Willow gripped Tara's hands tightly. Downstairs she could hear Kyra and Buffy laughing.

"This is our loophole, Baby," she said excitedly. "This is how we give the royal kiss-off to the Powers That Wanna Be." She scrambled to her feet, half pulling Tara after her. "C'mon. We gotta let the others know." In two steps, she had crossed to their bedroom phone and punched 4 on the speed dial.

"Hello, and thank you for calling--"

"Giles, it's Willow."

"Willow, is something wrong?" The Watcher's voice grew tense.

"No, everything's OK. Well, not OK, obviously, because there's a Big Bad on the loose and five of us have been this close to suicide in the past three days but--"

"Willow, you know I'm concerned about my advancing age. Please don't let me die before you reach your point. You'd never forgive yourself."

"Oh yeah. Right. OK, Tara and I contacted the Anadeis and got more information." The exchange, and its contents, tumbled over and through her mind. She bit her lip against the fear.

Focus.

"I need you to come over when you close up the shop."

"Of course. Would you like us to come over now? Faith and Dawn are with me."

"No, Buffy's still here. I'll leave a message on Xander's cell phone. Thanks, Giles." She rang off and turned expectantly to Tara, whose earlier determination now seemed dimmed.

"Tara? Baby? What is it?"

"Willow, what do we do?" Her beloved's voice was thick with fear.

"We'll figure it out." How many times had she uttered those words?

Sometimes I even believe them.

But Tara was shaking her head. "How? We're no closer to figuring this out than we ever were. Yes, we have some minor details but if it goes off in search of three other people, we have no way of stopping it." She hesitated, and Willow could suddenly see the pallor in the beautiful face. "Willow, it works so quickly. God, the only reason we're alive is because the Anadeis sent Faith and you are pretty much a genius."

Willow just stared at her helplessly. Tara was right. What could they do? Unless it attacked another of them, they had no way of finding it.

What does "finding it" even mean?

They had no idea if it took physical form; no idea how it infected its victims. But what could they do--just sit back and hope somebody else did something? The thought was alien to her. And even if they surrendered in this battle, Kyra would still be drafted into the later war.

"I don't know, Tara," she practically whispered. "But...But we have to stay focused. We have to stay focused, and..." She trailed off. And what? All she knew was that if she let herself register the full scope of this task, she might collapse. "We...we have to--"

We have to what?

She stared helplessly at her mate.

Tara reached for her suddenly, eyes glistening. "Oh God, Will...I'm so sorry. You had to drag me through this whole deal. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to know. And you knew we had to ask." Tara's voice broke, and then she squared her shoulders and stared intently into Willow's eyes. "Sweetie, it's OK. I'm with you. We'll figure it out."

Willow sank into the warm arms as she heard her own words echoed back to her.

"We're her mothers, Willow. We'll protect her."

She just nodded into Tara's shoulder. They stood there, huddled together for several minutes, until Tara finally pulled back and looked at her steadily. "Let's tell Buffy."

Now she's trying to keep it together for me.

They walked down to the living room to find the Slayer on the floor fending off several dive bombings from Kyra, in which Kyra herself was the projectile of choice. As if by unconscious agreement, Willow and Tara halted in the doorway and watched their daughter tumbling over and into and onto the Chosen One.

"OK, you need to work on your stealth, because giggling when you attack? Not the best strategy. On the other hand, they'll probably be so busy cooing over you that you'll dust 'em before they can say, 'Oh, isn't she cute?'"

"Our daughter will not fight!"

This is what Willow wanted to say. But then she felt Tara's hand on her arm, and looked at her partner. Tara slowly dragged her gaze to meet Willow's eyes, and in her own there was something Willow couldn't read...Sadness? Fear?

"And another thing: you have to learn to tell when someone's trying to sneak up on you. Lots of things give people away...Sometimes you can pick out their perfume. Like, if someone always wears sandalwood, you'll know if she's standing in the doorway watching you."

Buffy turned and fixed them with a blinding smile. Willow, though, was too busy trying not to cry as Kyra ran toward them.

"Mommymama!" She said it as if it were one name; as if they were one parent.

Buffy had expanded her sixth sense repertoire to include feelings. "Will? What is it?"

She couldn't speak. She simply gathered her daughter up in her arms and held her tightly. Kyra, usually so animated, didn't struggle against the desperate embrace.

I'll just hold her like this for the next ten years. I won't let her go and this won't happen.

"Sweetie, I'm going to fix Kyra a snack, OK?" Tara's voice wrapped itself around Willow's breaking heart like a velvet cord, binding it gently back together. A look into the endless blue eyes told her that Tara herself felt anything but calm. Her hands were steady, though, as she scooped Kyra into her arms and kissed her fiercely on the cheek.

Kyra shot a questioning look between her mothers, eyes wide and trusting.

She reads us like a book. And she assumes that whatever it is, we'll make it OK.

Her arms felt achingly empty the moment Kyra shifted into Tara's embrace and they turned toward the kitchen. She suddenly had no idea what to do with her hands.

This is ridiculous. They're in the next room.

"Willow." Buffy's voice sliced through her paralysis. "Talk to me."

Drawing a shaky breath, Willow turned to her best friend. "Kyra's supposed to fight." The words shifted the floor beneath her and she sank into a chair for fear of dropping where she stood.

Buffy stared at her, then scrambled over to kneel before the chair. "What do you mean?" she asked urgently, squeezing Willow's hands. "She's supposed to fight?"

The room gradually stopped spinning. My partner and my child are in the kitchen. My best friend is right here. I can do this.

She made herself meet Buffy's eyes. "The Anadeis...We summoned them and they said they sent her to us to watch over and raise until she became..." Here she faltered. Buffy just sat silently, though the pressure of her fingers told Willow that her patience was hard-won. "Until she became the Guardian. It's this woman who's supposed to watch out for and protect some other women...Women who are going to become very strong and--I don't know--change the balance of power, somehow. Anyway, Kyra's supposed to protect them from all of the bad guys who will not be thrilled by this development."

Am I talking in future tense or conditional tense? There was something meaningful in the difference, but she would not allow herself to think about what it might be.

Buffy exhaled slowly. "God, Will..."

"God. Goddess. Any number of deities. All of whom apparently feel the absolute right to muck with our lives." Anger crested again, rushing through her blood.

"And this is related to the Big Bad?" Buffy asked, still holding Willow's hands.

"Oh yeah. That's another little sliver of joy. We pretty much knew this guy was part of the prophecy that Wesley found, right? Well, Kyra's apparently the new light. He takes his ten souls, and she graduates to Guardian."

"What? At the age of one, Kyra becomes a master fighter?" Buffy's voice was incredulous.

"Oh, of course not. And of course they're not going to send an adult to do this, one who can make her own choices. What fun would that be? OK, so here comes Dish Number Three in the Buffet of Big News: Faith's not here by accident. Apparently she's Kyra's protector and...mentor, I guess, until Kyra's old enough to fight."

Buffy sat back slightly, her face a tilting mosaic of emotions, many of which didn't go well with each other.

She's hurt that it's Faith and not her. Willow wasn't surprised, but this was hardly a focus for her right now.

Apparently Buffy realized this as well. She leaned forward again, her face grim. "What else did they tell you? Does she have super-powers? Will the Anadeis be looking out for her?"

Willow felt rustration rolling through her. "Apparently she has--or will have--extra strength and resiliency, but they couldn't guarantee her safety. No, they just plunk an infant down in the middle of their grand plan and sit back."

Buffy gave a derisive snort. "Ever notice how all the big names in the mystical world never actually put their own lives on the line? They're more than happy to deploy any and all of us, but somehow they're always just...unavailable for the actual fighting."

"Tara and I chose to get involved with all of this. We knew the risks. But Kyra...Buffy, she's just a baby." She broke off at the sound of laughter from the kitchen.

Again, she felt the reassuring grip of her best friend's hands. "Willow, we'll stop this thing. Kyra doesn't become the Guardian until this Big Bad gets it ten good souls, right?"

Willow nodded. "They said if it didn't--and they were definitely not excited about that plan--Kyra would turn out to be like any other kid. Only cuter and smarter," she added, then said sheepishly, "I sort of made up that last part myself."

The Slayer flashed a defiant smile. "You mean we have the chance to piss off a Big Bad and a trio of wannabe puppeteers? If I weren't wearing silk, I'd drool."

Willow's answering grin was weak but sincere. "I doin't know what I'd do without you, Buffy," she said suddenly, gratitude spilling over her heart.

"And that's what I call the Queen Mother of Rhetorical Questions," her best friend answered easily. "OK, so we have to find a way to stop Sunnydale's latest visit from Some Scary Place Not Found on Any Triple-A Map."

Willow's earlier helplessness returned with a vengeance. "How, Buffy? We have no idea how to stop this thing."

Buffy tossed her head. "Yeah, yeah...A few years ago we had no idea how to stop the Mayor, who turned into a giant snake that snapped up people like Triscuits. We had no idea how to stop Adam, who squashed everything we threw at him. How were we ever going to stop Glory? She was a god, for Peter, Paul, and Mary's sake. And out of all of them, who now walks the earth in stylish yet tasteful apparel?"

WIllow gave an uneasy glance at her own outfit: Hello Kitty meets Benny's Thrift Store.

"OK, scratch that," Buffy said, following her gaze. "Who now gulps mochas with a regularity that would clearly suggest addiction if we were inclined to label people?"

"That would be all of us," Willow promptly replied.

"Exactly," Buffy nodded. They sat quietly for a moment, sharing a look that captured what seven years of shared triumph and heartbreak can render.

A rustle from the doorway broke the moment. Willow looked up to see Tara smiling at them, one eyebrow slightly arched. "Buffy, if you're proposing to my life mate, I really do have to protest."

"And risk an ass-kicking by an uber-witch? I'm no fool." Buffy rose gracefully and walked over to where Tara stood, cradling Kyra protectively in her arms. She wrapped mother and daughter in a tight, quick embrace. "We can do this," Willow heard her whisper.

There were moments of perfect beauty in the midst of perfect terror.

"Bub!"

And there were moments of perfect timing. Buffy pulled back and groaned. "It's Buh-fee," she said emphatically, and turned to Willow. "You teach her to do this, don't you?"

"If I say yes, is the proposal off?" Somehow we will get through this.

They spent the next forty-five minutes playing with the unbearably cute child before them, who gave no appearance of being at all concerned with prophecies and Guardianship and balances of power. All she had to do was whatever she wanted, and she was infinitely adored for her choices.

********

By the time Giles, Faith, and Dawn arrived, Willow had let herself believe once more that success was possible. She had left a message on Xander's cell phone, giving no details but asking only that he come over when he and Anya could do so. She wondered how the ex-vengeance demon was coping with her grief.

Kyra had gone down for a quick nap. ("Not too long," Tara cautioned, "or we'll never get her to sleep tonight.") This fact made conversation easier in its execution, but not in its content. Willow and Tara repeated what they had been told, up until the point about Faith.

The group's reaction was, as she had anticipated, outraged. "She's a baby," Dawn said, incredulous. "How could they pin this on a baby?"

"I've noticed that ostensibly higher powers often show utter disregard for those actors whom they cast in their roles," Giles said, frowning.

For her part, Faith kept glancing upstairs as if wishing she had visual proof of Kyra's well-being. Buffy leaned over and said quietly, "Nothing's gonna happen to her. Those freaks want her as safe as we do."

Faith shook her head in disdain. "If they're all about you two raising her, why'd they almost let you die?"

Willow exchanged a quick look with Tara. "Funny you should mention that," she began hesitantly. She could see Faith tensing with the words. "Seems you're part of this little prophecy as well."

Faith looked from Willow to Tara and back again, shock written on her face. After a moment, though, it was replaced with something else.

Pride.

"So...I'm part of a prophecy," she mused. "Little ol' me, part of a prophecy. Kinda makes a girl wanna get new clothes." She turned to Buffy with exaggerated formality. "Hello, my name is Faith. I play a vital role in an ancient prophecy."

"Oh God, we're gonna be hearing about this for awhile, aren't we?" Buffy muttered.

"No need for a huff, Buff," Faith said placatingly. "I'm sure you're very important here, too." She looked back at Willow, her expression quickly turning serious. "So what exactly do I do? And please say it involves kicking ass."

"Well, they said that it was no coincidence you were here. Like, they knew you could save me and I could save Tara." She hesitated, unsure how to phrase it all.

"And I'm not exactly going out on a limb here when I say there's something else, right?" Faith asked, impatience edging into her voice.

"No, you're not. They said that Kyra wouldn't become the Guardian until this Big Bad takes ten souls. And after that, she'll need to be taught...How to fight, things like that."

"What--I'm not in charge of etiquette?" Faith asked. "I'm shocked, and a little hurt, I gotta say." She shook her head sadly, and then her expression turned all business. "And now--as much as you don't wanna say it...what else?"

Tara gazed at Faith, her eyes clear and gentle. "They said that you would protect her. That...that you would sacrifice your life if it were necessary."

Faith merely tightened her lips and nodded slightly.

She was expecting this.

Buffy, though, looked as though someone had slapped her. "What do you mean, sacrifice her life?"

The Dark Slayer replied casually, "That means if push comes to shove, I push the kid out of the way and shove the bad guy down the stairs."

"And you go with it," Buffy replied, so quietly that Willow could barely hear her.

What's going on inside your head? What in goddess' name are you feeling?

Faith just looked at her steadily. "Like you wouldn't do the same thing, B."

They exchanged a stare-down for the ages, until Buffy finally crossed her arms and turned to Willow. "Did these invisible Gorgons say that Faith has to work alone? Or does she get to have a lovable sidekick whose wacky hijinks lend some much-needed levity to the drama?"

Willow looked at Tara, then back to her best friend. "I...I don't know. Faith, we haven't even asked if you wanted to be involved in all of this."

Faith shifted her weight onto one foot and tossed her hair--a move Willow now recognized as designed to convey a nonchalance she didn't feel. "Hey, if the wenches on high said I'm supposed to protect her, I'm supposed to protect her."

"Right," Buffy snorted. "Because you always do what you're supposed to do."

Faith ignored this. "OK, so how long a gig we talkin' about?"

"Um...they weren't really clear about that." Because we sorta hung up on them. "I got the impression it wasn't exactly a weekend seminar type of thing."

Even as she spoke, Willow realized that Faith would gladly stay for as long as possible.

"And then it hits me--I'm so fuckin' glad to have a reason to stay, I coulda died."

To belong? To be close to Buffy? To know, beyond a doubt, that she had a good and critical role to play? Willow was amazed that Faith could maintain anything even approximating neutrality.

"Yeah, well, I'll have to get an extended leave from Angel, then...Like, a really extended leave."

Things shift so much. Now Angel's a role player.

"But the point is pretty effin' moot, right?" she continued. "Because we're gonna stop this joy-suck guy before he gets his next three white hats, so the prophecy gets bumped off the rails and Kyra grows up learning how to change tires, not change the world. Right?"

"That's the plan," Tara said quietly.

"Does this prophecy say anything about me turning the prophecy on its ear? 'cuz that would be pretty cool." Faith's voice held its old swagger.

"No," Willow replied quickly. "In fact, the Anadeis were not even remotely excited when we brought up what would happen if we stopped this."

"Pissin' off the higher-ups?" Faith asked, delighted. "That's my kind of fun." Willow caught Buffy's quick nod.

You are more alike than either of you realize.

Her attention, though, was diverted by a knock at the door, followed by Xander and Anya letting themselves in. They were both dressed in dark clothes. Willow noticed that Xander's hand never left his wife's back.

She forced herself to remember that other people were hurting as well. "Anya--hey. Thanks for coming. How are you doing?"

The ex-vengeance demon looked at her through red-rimmed eyes. "I've been better. But I'm certainly better than Trevor's partner right now. I don't even know how the man is standing." She glanced at her husband. "I've already told Xander that if he hurts himself, I'll dig him up and kill him all over again."

Xander smiled gently at his wife, and then looked at the group and shrugged. "Who could resist that sales pitch?"

"We really appreciate you both coming over," Tara said, stepping over to offer Anya a hug. "I know this has been a hard day."

Even in the middle of this, she remembers to be kind.

"Well, your message sounded pretty urgent, Will," Xander replied. "And even if you hadn't called, we would have come over." He sighed heavily, exchanging a grim look with Anya. "We have some news of our own."

Oh, goddess...

"It got Number Eight this afternoon."

********

To Be Continued

[The Rose24]

Glad to see an update on this. I can't wait until they figure out how to stop this menace, and by extension, protecting Kyra .

This thing is already putting, to a certain extent, a strain on W/T's relationship, and it gives me belly rumblin's when there is strain in their relationship. I hate to see them hurting.

[GayNow]

Aaawww Hellfire and Damnation! Now my mind is going to be spinning and spinning while I wrap what little of my brain I have left around this new information.

WOOT!!! Good times!!

I'll be back at some point...promise not to take as long as I did last time.

Car

[Patches]

Third!!! Yabba...and that's my great insight for tonight. You know it's time to sleep when your gf's studying the anatomy of the hand and you don't even think to make lurid comments or 'helpful' suggestion on how to remember what mucles make what actions. And given I actually just wrote that, I'm definitely going to sleep. Back tomorrow at some point to scribble some irrelevant drivel.

Stop making such horridly difficult moral decision look so easy, rational and logical, will ya, please -- yer messin' wif ma head!!!


Cheers!!
Patches

[Darth Pacula]

G'day, Mary.

Ahh, my weekly fix of AntigoneUnbound brand fiction. Accept no substitutes. Maybe now I'll stop hallucinating and twitching convulsively. Withdrawal is never pretty.

Right now, lets just try for something a tad more meaningful, shall I?

First off; 'Powers that Wanna Be'? Bloody fantastic, Mary. It's interesting how at the start of this update, Willow is all about acting upon the new information that she and Tara have discovered, but it takes just a little push to bring her confidence crashing down again. And I have to agree, they just don't have the first clue about what to do. They know they have to stop the big phantom menace ( I couldn't help myself ), but really, they don't even have a place to start as to how to do so.

Now she's trying to keep it together for me.

Now, personally, I could see this thought coming from both Willow and Tara. I mean, let's face it, we've all had times in our lives when the only thing that has kept us going is the fact that someone we love is depending on us. That little something extra that being truly needed gives you is just enough to push you over the top.

I loved Kyra's little play session with 'Bub', especially Buffy's little running commentary. I suppose giggling could be her version of a battle-cry? But that just makes me think of the Joker from Batman, and other such babbling loonies, so maybe that's not a good idea after all.

Now, for the most part, I agree with Buffy, and everyone else, about the PTB's habit of letting other people fight their battles for them. But, I have to also play devil's advocate here. Perhaps they can't personally take part in the battles. One problem might be that they might not be able to physically manifest themselves in our dimension. But what I consider more likely is that there is an unspoken agreement with their respective counterparts on the other end of the moral spectrum. If they suddenly start taking part in the battle between good and evil, you can be sure as hell that even more powerful bad guys are going to do the same thing. From there, everything will just escalate until BAM ... you've got the supernatural equivalent of a thermo-nuclear war.

Or they could just be a bunch of pansy-ass, chicken-shit REMF's. If you don't know what a REMF is .... well, how can I put this without swearing like a sailor? It's a military acronym, well not an official one, but military nonetheless, and it expresses the front line grunt's less than stellar opinion of the schmucks who try to run a war from behind a desk. If anyone wants a literal translation, just let me know.

On a less philosophical note, I loved your little quip about perfect timing. Laughed my ass off. Which means that I now have to go and find some super glue to stick the damn thing back on. Cheers for that.

I think you captured Faith's character perfectly with her reaction to the discovery of the part she plays in this latest prophecy. Sure, she might be potentially fated to die an ugly death, but that's hardly new. The important thing is that she's important. She has a vital part to play. She's needed. And that's something that Faith has always wanted, but rarely had.

Buffy might need to rethink her stance on the whole wacky sidekick routine. Doesn't she know that it's usually the wacky sidekick who cops it? Tut tut, Buffster. You need to brush up on your movie cliches.

And they are down to two, huh? Another good guy driven to suicide, damn it. I just hope they aren't all too busy blaming themselves to kick into final gear and stop this evil prick.

As always Mary, a masterwork of drama, humor and heartfelt emotion. I can wait for the next thrilling installment, but only because I have to. And I haven't managed to hack into your head yet.

Bye for now,
Paul.