Well here you go Emily*S*
Enjoy Kittens, 31 & 32 are slightly lighter.
Katharyn
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Title:
The Sidestep Chronicle – Gifts and Gratitude (Part 31)
Author: Katharyn Rosser
Feedback: Constructive criticism always welcome.
katharynrosser@hotmail.comSpoiler Warning: Pretty limited. The story occurs in an alternate universe though reference is made to events that occur in both realities.
Summary: Gifts and Gratitude as I said.
Disclaimer: I still don’t own any of the copyrights or anything else associated with BTVS. All rights lie with the production company, writers etc, etc. I am making zilch from this series of stories.
Rating: 15
Couples: VW/T
Notes: It struck me that I had never seen a fic where people just had a cold. Nothing life threatening or anything just a cold. Here you go. That’s what you get for adding a throwaway line about someone having one. As with all such VW/T interludes there is a point to them and they should be seen, without other references, to represent the necessary passage of time…
Thanks To: All of those who lurk… I can keep count of the visits here on EZ… We know you are there! Jo, Kerry, Louise.
The Sidestep Chronicle
Gifts and Gratitude
By
Katharyn Rosser
Willow was bored. Bored, bored, bored. Which each repetition of the term in her mind, or muttered under her breath, she made a small plucking gesture and things seemed just a touch better. For about a second, then she was totally bored again.
Of course every seven plucks she was forced to set her toy down and reach into the box for a new distraction. Still, and she looked in the large bowl, the discards were worth looking at too. For a little while.
It was
still daytime, the sun was high and the Kitten didn’t want to play with her. Tara was there, in the bedroom, she had been sent home by the Mayor because she was ill, finally having picked up the cold that had swept Sunnydale. The Kitten had a
sniffle and was in bed… Bored, bored, bored. Another three plucks. At least that lawyer bitch was gone… sniffling her way to the airport. She set the toy in the bowl that she had just for the purpose and watched it for a moment. Wheeling around madly. It would stop soon enough. The fun just kept on leaving.
Why couldn’t she kill the lawyer?
Because the Kitten said so.
Willow reached carefully into the box on the other side of her and picked up yet another one. Bored. Pluck.
Actually the Kitten’s sniffle… not so much a sniffle as a raging torrent of sticky, nasty bodily excretions that the old Willow knew all the technical terms for. Willow didn’t really care though what was wrong. The Kitten was sick and it wasn’t nice. This was the first time that she actually had no inclination to be near the Kitten at all. She had tried it, but Tara had no patience for games right now. She just wanted to
lie there. What did the Kitten think that a bed was for anyway? Playtime. The bed had always been for playtime… that and the snuggles afterwards that Willow could never figure out why she allowed.
The Kitten had tried to keep making her
welcome… she had fought the cold for several days but it wasn’t until the Mayor had actually sent her home that she had finally succumbed to it. Willow remembered colds… hated them even more now that they had taken her Kitten from her. She had offered to let Willow lie with her, just being there ‘it’s not like I’ll infect you’ the Kitten had said.
Whilst Willow had, inexplicably, often enjoyed just lying with the Kitten… just touching. Feeling. Even just
being – which should have been boring but bizarrely wasn’t – the illness was more than she could handle. Weakness… ugggh. And she thought that Tara wanted her to show compassion…
Guess what Kitten? Vampire now… compassion out of the window long ago.
Sucked out of my neck, along with my blood. Anything that she felt for the Kitten was just the lack of playtime talking. Pluck. Bored.
The Kitten had started asking her to
do things. Willow didn’t understand it at all. Didn’t Tara get that she just didn’t have it in her to care? Even so though… she had got those things that she had been asked for. Until Tara got the hint that she really didn’t want to be doing it and stopped asking. Willow had mainly done it because until Tara was better then there would be ooginess.
The nasty stuff in her hair after the Kitten had sneezed had been the last straw, Willow’s reaction hadn’t been the best under the circumstances. At least not from a human point of view. She had to shower… and get that stuff out of her hair. So she had suggested to the Kitten that they take that shower together… She hadn’t just said it though, she had started to give and demand a more practical demonstration of what she was offering and wanted in return there in bed. Suggesting that the Kitten should make up for the mess with a
proper apology.
Tara had just sighed and banished her from the bedroom. And here, after that solo shower, she was. Trapped inside by the daylight. The Kitten would have to get herself somewhere to live with sewer access… at least then Willow could have gotten out and into the world. She could have gone to the Bronze and eaten. There was always something to eat there. Anyone, who was a vampire… oh and a member of the Brethren… could just go in and take what they wanted. Hospitable – that was the Master.
But instead Willow was here. Bored and plucking.
Hungry though… but whilst she had often thought of, and dreamed of, feeding on the Kitten she suspected that she was never going to do it. Especially not today she thought as a hacking cough echoed through the apartment followed soon after by a very, very, wet sounding sneeze.
Ugggh. Better off dead than that. After all she should know.
She plucked again.
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It was almost dusk, Tara could tell by the chink of light that she allowed to penetrate between her curtains. She lived in a world of darkness and right now that was a pretty good thing. The light hurt her eyes anyway.
She was active by night and during the day… she spent a lot of them locked in here, with Willow – who wasn’t exactly sunshiney – with all the curtains closed. The daylight was on the verge of becoming a distant memory.
At least it seemed that way. She did go out in the daytime, to City Hall and to get her shopping in. Some trips with Lilah when the lawyer was here and days out with the Mayor but the really memorable times… they were mostly in the darkness. Hunting or… here. With Willow.
It must have been the cold, it was getting her down and filling her up. She felt as if someone had stuffed corks up her nose – at least until streams started to flow down it. She probably sounded that way too when she had said stuff to Willow. Stuff that she wouldn’t have said but for the cold.
She’d snapped and told the vampire just to leave her alone. The instant that she had said it she had been afraid that Willow would. That she would take it to heart and that she would storm out. Not understanding it was the illness talking – at least mostly the illness.
But Willow didn’t have a beating heart to take it to, did she? Whilst there wasn’t much understanding or compassion in the vampire – nor was there a tendency to take what Tara had said and turn it into some big gesture that might spoil whatever it was that they actually had. It was funny when one of the worst things about the vampire became a grace. But instead of smiling, Tara just sneezed again and blew her tender, raw, nose on a tissue.
Willow hadn’t been into her room over two hours. She was still in the apartment, Tara had heard her moving around and having a shower, but Willow had left her alone. She didn’t have the pendant on. Willow had removed it when she had tried to commence playtime… and Tara had left it. Her throat was hurting from the inside. She didn’t need more pain on the outside.
Willow had actually left her alone. Just as she had asked the vampire to.
Would Willow do anything that she asked ? Harder things than that… things like not killing… she didn’t even dare to go down that route. That way led to badness… surely. Maybe it was just the illness making her selfish. She was afraid of badness between them when Willow was going out and killing people?
Get your priorities straight Tara. Shut up Daddy, I’m sick.
She had to go out there and see Willow though. At dusk the vampire would leave to feed. That was what she did. Hunting, feeding and killing… and then coming back here for her play. No not just play. Not anymore. They had grown past that pretence.
Or at least it
just being that.
Willow had pretended. Tara had allowed her to… but it was obviously something greater than pretence, than ‘play’ or ‘fun.’ Tara had seen Willow’s definition of play. What they were doing wasn’t that.
But did that make things better or worse?
She couldn’t let Willow go out after shouting at her. She couldn’t let Willow go without knowing what effect that those words had had on the vampire. She couldn’t let anything… go wrong. Oh by the Goddess… that would not be the wrong.
She threw back the covers, moving from being unbearably hot to shivery in one quick movement. Colds – she hated them with a fiery, sweaty, passion. She forced her aching body to roll over and placed her feet on the floor standing up in her t-shirt and sweatpants. Willow had ceremonially stolen and, she said, burnt the pyjamas she used to have. She’d go out there for a drink… that could be her reason for leaving the bedroom. Not just to check on Willow. The vampire wouldn’t like being checked on.
It would make Willow cranky and Tara didn’t much like that side of Willow. She knew that out there, in the real world and away from what they had, cranky Willow frequently meant death. In here it meant sulking and Tara feeling that she had let the vampire down somehow. Feeling worse than knowing that Willow was killing out there.
That wasn’t right at all. But it was true.
Tara sniffed again and folded her arms against the shivers, hugging herself into the duvet she was carrying around her, and went into the living area. Willow was on the couch, sitting on her crossed legs, with a box and a bowl to the sides of her. As Tara watched from the open door way she saw Willow reach into the box and then start plucking at whatever it was that she had taken from it. And with every pluck… “Bored.”
Then she put the item down in the bowl where it started to spin around next to the others. Tara moved in and Willow stopped, her face brightening with hope of imminent relief from her boredom.
“Are you better Kitten?”
Willow was concerned?
“Do you want to play?” the vampire went on.
Ah that was more like the Willow she knew.
Tara sneezed and blew her nose, Willow didn’t say anything else and reached into the box again. Not better. Not wanting to play. And if she had… she was still too yucky for Willow’s rarefied tastes. Willow only wanted the best and had told Tara that she had found it. And Tara hated the fact that she had felt proud of that compliment.
Tara went to the side of the couch and sat on the arm, wondering what it was that Willow was doing to amuse herself. And on the plate… dozens of spiders. One legged spiders, cart-wheeling as they tried to walk but only able to use that one leg which just kept them turning round and round bumping into each other.
Willow wasn’t even looking at them… she didn’t seem to care about what she was doing, to a living thing – lots of living things. All she was focussed on was being ‘bored’ and torturing the arachnids by removing their limbs – deliberately leaving them alive. Where had she got the box of spiders from? Best not to ask… but the torture had to stop.
Tara laid her hand on Willow’s before it could go into the box again – where there were at least as many spiders again. Spider legs fells from Willow’s fingers as they touched. “No,” she said.
“Hate spiders,” Willow replied and went to the box again.
Tara grabbed Willow’s hand. “No.”
“But… hate.”
Better spiders than people right? But Willow was still going to head out after darkness fell. There would still be people for her to feed upon, or worse. People who would die. That, the feeding, was at least necessary for Willow to stay ‘alive’… to come back to her. This… this was just childish-cruelty.
Tara wondered then, briefly, if she was like the spiders to Willow… if she was being left helpless, endlessly circling the vampire, unable to do anything or get anywhere… when previously she had been a hunter.
No.
Tara knew that she
was still was a hunter. And she knew that Willow felt something for her, just as she did for Willow. They would have killed each other otherwise. Weeks and weeks ago. Play could only take you so far. Obsession maybe a little further. But not to where they were now. Even if they did feel different things.
Even if Willow always made it appear that the thing she was most interested in feeling was… Tara.
Willow shook off her hand and reached into the box. “Bored. You won’t play and I hate spiders.” There was nothing else that had to be said as far as the vampire was concerned was there?
It was then that Tara snapped again. Maybe it was the illness that was talking. Maybe it was all the stuff that Willow had put her through – the catalogue of feelings and emotions that had built up – even though she knew that Willow was a vampire and would behave like that. Always would. But still it came to the surface at that moment then in a big rush of controlled anger.
She took hold of Willow’s arm and yanked it from the box, making the vampire drop her latest victim. Tara even used magic to close the lid – so that none would escape into the apartment. And the magic whispered its thanks and begged her to do just a little more. She shook her head and then she took Willow’s chin in her hand and turned the angelically evil face to her – not even caring what would happen if the vampire chose to take offence.
“No.” She looked straight into Willow’s green eyes as she said it. Holding them and refusing to be the first to look away. She was pleased that her voice hadn’t let her down in saying the word… and she half expected those eyes that she was looking into to change into the murderous yellow that heralded the face of the demon.
But they didn’t change.
The thing of it was that Willow, the real Willow, might have hated spiders – but this Willow… she just wanted to torture and hurt them. Someone who could pick up a spider, handle it… that wasn’t an arachnophobe. This wasn’t therapeutic, it was just cruel.
Willow didn’t speak. She didn’t fight. She didn’t challenge or taunt… she just seemed to stare back into Tara’s soul. Not even testing her resolve… just looking and discovering something new. Was that wonder in the vampire’s eyes? Maybe so…
“It’s nearly dark,” Tara said eventually turning the loose grip on Willow’s chin into a caress. “You should go and… find something to do.” Tara knew exactly what that meant.
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“You should go and find something to do,” the Kitten said.
A minute earlier and Willow knew that she would have replied by making the Kitten aware of what it was that she was going to ‘do.’ She was going to hunt. She was going to kill and she was going to feed.
But Tara already knew that and she faced it each and every day. Where was the fun in reminding her of that yet again? After looking into those eyes Willow had, finally, realised something that was very important about the Kitten. Something that she had missed… and she had always thought herself observant… analytical. She had thought the old Willow had given her that... but the old Willow had missed this too.
What she had come to realise was that her Kitten was strong… perhaps even stronger that she was. And when Willow found herself admitting that it confused her all over again.
She had known that Tara could go out, hunt and kill her vampiric brethren. That wasn’t necessarily strength though, that was skill and determination. The strength came from the Kitten’s willingness to accept what Willow offered… all of it. The taunts and the pleasures. The hints of pain and reminders of what she was doing… and with what.
Tara had accepted it all. It had seemed submissive… and Willow liked submissive in her playmates. It meant that she was all, like, superior… which was obvious anyway. But the Kitten wasn’t submissive at all. The Kitten chose to accept. That was all. And when Willow reached a limit that the Kitten was not willing to accept… there was the look and the word ‘No.’
She had never heard anyone say that word and mean it more.
Willow had thought when Tara had said it to her before that perhaps it was just sexual… sexual fear. Some of the things she had suggested to the Kitten were taunts… Not fun at all. Well not much. But the Kitten had her limits and stuck to them. It seemed that was Tara all over. She wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t weak. She wasn’t submissive. She was in control and she was strong.
It was kind of a turn-on actually. Whoa, now where had that come from? Left-field much?
And feeling like that why would she go away tonight? Well the reason Willow would go away was that Kitten had told her to. Just to find something to do… But now, after being so bored, Willow wanted to stay – even though her tummy was growly. There was the strong kitten to explore. But…
But there were still icky snot issues right now.
Best to go when she was told to. Maybe pick something up for Tara when she was out. She had never tried bringing the Kitten a gift… maybe if she did then Tara would get all grateful. What would that gratitude be like? Mmmmmn. Maybe the Kitten would even take charge again… this time during play.
She placed her hand on Tara’s knee and let it stray upwards, a gentle reminder of what was to come… once that whole snot thing went away. “Okay Kitten… I’ll be back though.”
Willow was more than a little pleased to see the relief on Tara’s face when she accepted the instructions – or was it when she had promised to return? Take charge Tara might be appealing in little bursts – but it wouldn’t do to let the Kitten think that was the way things were going to be from now on.
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Tara had been dozing for a few hours when Willow returned to the apartment. This time using the door instead of the firmly closed window. It was too chilly for Tara to leave that ajar just because the vampire liked to look at her in the bed before she came in.
Real sleep was a far off dream though. She had been sleeping all day on and off so the chances of getting more rest tonight were pretty remote. Instead the cartoons were on, really quiet. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen these classics before. They were old, comforting friends, and she could doze off to them and wake back up to the smash of an Acme anvil or rocket.
Besides without Willow there it was strange. There had been nights when the vampire had not returned – or she had got back really late and Willow had left before she could get to sleep… but most of the nights she had slept in here were spent in Willow’s arms.
She missed that closeness when it wasn’t there… Besides tucked, together, under the covers Tara gave her body heat to the vampire and it was easy to pretend that she wasn’t what she was… In the moment between sleep and consciousness it was easy to feel that Willow might be alive. Warm… wonderfully warm… The only other time Willow was ever warm was when they shared a shower… or when the vampire had recently fed.
Willow didn’t come into the bedroom as soon as the front door closed. Tara waited there for minutes, quarter of an hour… still no Willow. Had she pushed the vampire too far? Despite what she had taken as a ‘reassuring’ grope before Willow had left she had no real clue how to read the vampire’s moods. It was getting easier… but nothing with the mercurial Willow was certain at all.
She pulled the duvet to her shoulders like a cape again and then rolled off the bed. She knew that it would get cold and she would shiver when she got back on it… but better that than wandering around shivering now. Besides this was all comfy – she padded to the door and listened. Nothing. Willow couldn’t be playing with her spiders again? Not after she had told the vampire… she wouldn’t be happy if Willow was. She made a mental note, that no matter how she felt tomorrow that the contents of the box would be released… but far from here. She didn’t want a swarm of spiders… or was it a gaggle… in her apartment. Willow had been right about that.
She opened the door and found Willow sat waiting for her. Sat on her crossed legs again on the couch. But no spiders. No nothing. Just sat there. Waiting. “Shout at me again Kitten?” Willow asked her.
Tara shook her head and cleared her throat – sorry again that she had shouted at Willow. Even if the vampire deserved much more than that.
Willow patted the couch beside her, “Come here Kitten.”
Tara hesitated. She wasn’t sure… She wasn’t in the mood for ‘play’ and besides every time she sneezed Willow reacted… badly. Over the top disgust at human weakness and messiness. She was worse than the Mayor… but then she hadn’t messed up his hair.
Willow patted the seat again. “Come here, Tara.”
Tara? She had said… Tara could count the number of times Willow had used her given name on two hands. That in itself was enough to take her to Willow. She went to where the other had indicated and sat down, the duvet spreading out beneath her and over Willow’s leg.
They sat there like that for a few moments. Not looking at each other. Just sitting. Tara had no idea what Willow wanted and she wasn’t sure that Willow knew either.
“Still oogy?” Willow asked.
Tara blew her nose. That was answer enough. “Sorry I can’t play,” the blonde said after a while. But Willow had sounded concerned. That was nice of her, to sound concerned. Not that she would ever say that to the vampire.
Willow didn’t respond at first. Then she said, “Can’t play all the time. Shouldn’t have – you know – had the spiders. I was just so bored.”
Tara turned to her, but Willow was pointedly not looking back. But she was trying. Willow was really trying. Something was telling what the right words were… Tara wasn’t sure that Willow believed them herself, even though the vampire
knew that they were true in as much as she should be saying them. Willow was trying… to make it easier. Why?
“Hold now?” Tara asked the vampire beside her.
“Hold now,” Willow replied and Tara stood for a second got the duvet from beneath herself and spread it around them. “I ate whilst I was out… so no growly tummy.”
Tara sighed. Willow had tried and then the truth just slipped out again. She would have known because Willow was already warm. The vampire had tried to reassure her that her stomach wouldn’t rumble, as it had done before, and all it did was confirm what she had done whilst she was out.
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The witch sighed after Willow had told her that. She was just trying to be ‘good.’ It was turning her stomach, but she knew that she should try when the Kitten was ill. It didn’t fit within her but it had got her to the holding… even if there was no real play then from here she might get to indulge in caresses and even some groping. She could hope for groping.
That would have to do whilst the Kitten was oogy.
Besides it was nice and warm under here… She laid her hands on the Kitten and pretended like she was trying to warm
her up… but slowly so that it seemed more of a caress than something she was taking. The Kitten ought to appreciate that too. In more interesting places than might have been traditional as well. She might not have had body heat to share but there was friction. Friction was good. And she could explain it in physics terms too… old Willow could. Tara sighed again and that didn’t stop Willow’s attentions. But if the Kitten sneezed on her, again and messily, then that was it. She could sleep alone until she was all better. Willow would try and in return she expected no more of that.
She leaned into Tara, hands working their friction magic under the duvet on that sore chest, and whispered in her ear. “I brought you something.” Willow thought that she would look very considerate with that gesture on top of everything else. A gift. She hadn’t done that before.
Considerate was not in her nature though. The sooner the Kitten was mended and not expelling slime then the sooner play could recommence. Proper play. Willow was building up quite an appetite. The sooner the Kitten would be well enough to go for the morning jogs that she always returned from… feeling like friction. Willow liked that in the Kitten. She liked it when Tara asked to be rubbed down before and during her shower. She was missing it. The gift might help fix her up. She would feel better with the gift.
Tara looked at her, and then they both heard a sound.
Mewl Then there was scratching as something got a bit annoyed with being confined. In hindsight Willow knew that she should have hidden it better.
Oh… the look on the Kitten’s face though… it was priceless. Tara knew what that sound was and Willow had just told her that there was a gift. So Tara had put two and two together… Not that it always equalled four.
Willow had been hoping to keep that secret though – she had heard from Tara about her love of cats… boring topic, told far too much when the Kitten had tried to engage her in conversation. Conversation – unexpectedly – could be fun… but some topics… boring.
“You got me a cat?” she asked. “Where is it? What is she like?” Tara stopped, paused. “Is it a he or a she?”
“Er..” Willow was momentarily at a loss for words. This was not quite how she had planned the giving of the gift – and she had planned it out. There had been the giving, the immediate gratitude and then there would be the feeling better and the resumption of normal play service… hopefully with either some more gratitude or a little more of that Tara steel. Either way would be fine. “Behind the couch,” she finally said to her Kitten when she had made her decision.
Tara planted a kiss on Willow’s lips and twisted, dragging the duvet off Willow who had also withdrawn her hands. Then she looked over the back of the couch and went “Awww…”
Willow wasn’t too impressed with how things were going but she had to adapt. She was nothing if not adaptable. She had been found out and she had to make the best of the situation. There would still be gratitude… perhaps even more now, with the way that things had worked out. At least Willow didn’t have to think about how she was going to present her gift to best effect.
For maximum gratitude and all that meant.
Tara left the duvet behind as she got up. For some reason Willow pulled it across her legs, revelling in the warmth the Kitten had left behind and watching as Tara got a closer look at the cat in the cardboard box.
“Hello you,” the Kitten said to the cat.
Willow knew that thought process was going to get confusing… still it wasn’t a kitten that she had brought was it. It was a young cat. A little older than a kitten. At least the tiny fluffy kind.
“What’s your name?” Tara asked it, lifting it from the box, and looking for a collar. There was none of course. Not where Willow had got it from.
Did she really expect the cat to answer her? Willow wondered. Though Tara was a witch… and witches and cats… they went together didn’t they? Perhaps… no. Willow wasn’t impressed that her Kitten had found herself a new playmate – that the messy cold was somehow forgotten without Willow being involved. Oh there was a sneeze. The cat had got a faceful and didn’t look very impressed Willow had to laugh at that. Then without thinking what she was doing she passed Tara a tissue. “Why don’t you call it Tiddles,” she suggested sarcastically as Tara wiped her nose then cleaned up the potential Tiddles’s face.
“No… she isn’t a ‘Tiddles’ are you Miss Little Kitty?” Tara was speaking to them both and Willow was somehow jealous of the cat in spite of it being on the receiving end of ooginess.
“’Miss Little Kitty?’ – Why not go all the way and call it Miss Kitty Fantastico?” More sarcasm from the vampire… but she wasn’t in the mood.
Her Kitten wasn’t supposed to be playing with
that cat. Willow could almost hear Tara thinking though and realised her mistake…. Now she was stuck with the name too. Things just got worse and worse. First no playtime, then Tara had the cat to distract her and now it was called…
“Miss Kitty Fantastico… that’s good,” Tara said and Willow wanted to snatch the cat from her and twists its sweet little head off. “I love you Miss Kitty Fantastico!” Willow didn’t snatch the cat… she just sat patiently waiting for Tara to come back to her so that the gratitude could begin. This was a lot of gratitude for her Kitten to work off. It would just keep coming and coming.
Tara held the cat up and it seemed to put up with her fussing over it. Willow could understand that. She was willing to put up with it too. Then Tara came back to the couch and sat down with the cat in her arms, stroking it. Willow was feeling all left out… and she didn’t like that. But it wasn’t boring. There was anticipation and watching… and after all the Kitten was still sick. That hadn’t changed.
She looked at the cat and the cat knew she hated it. It hissed and hated her right back. Willow was glad that she had got that cleared up. Now they both knew where they stood.
So, Willow wondered as Tara started to stroke and play with what should have been her late night snack, what she was going to do with the nasal decongestant she had procured for Tara as her actual gift? And she had been promised that the young cat… now too old to be a stake in the poker games would have gone down a treat too. Not human – but something different.
Willow had tried tiny fluffy kitten before, but the blood all stuck to the roof of her mouth. One this age though, should have been just perfect for a snack… So they said.
Miss Kitty Fantastico looked across from Tara’s attentions and Willow was certain that the cat was mocking her with its self-satisfied purring. But when Tara leaned over to give her a grateful, if still sniffly, kiss it was Willow that felt like purring and the cat that looked disgusted.
Gratitude was definitely going to take them a long way and the cat would frequently find itself shut in the kitchen whilst that was expressed.
*********
You hear that baby? I am going nowhere.
by tommo » Fri May 03, 2002 3:44 pm 
at: 5/5/02 1:37:48 am