AS TIME GOES BY
Part 28
Synopsis: Willow and Tara have been chosen to destroy the One Ring, and undertake an epic adventure of danger, mystical beasts, and untold millions in product placement alone. Wait; something's wrong there...
Pairings: Willow and Tara; Laverne and Shirley; Peppermint Patty and Marcy
Distribution: Go; take this story and set it free upon the winds. And when they ask you who wrote this saga, tell them this: A tall lesbian with a great rack. (I speak but the truth.)
Disclaimer: There once was a hack named Joss,
Who owned these folks, much to our loss.
When we saw what went down,
We all glanced around
And said, "Guess who's been hittin' the sauce."********
Some ideas are greeted with great enthusiasm. Listeners jostle and clamor for the chance to be involved.
Other ideas are greeted with cautious interest, as potential participants weigh the relative risks and benefits.
Still others are greeted with derision, disdain, and disbelief. The only question, really, is finding an adverb that adequately captures how spectacularly ill-advised this plan is.
And then there was Xander and Dawn's idea.
Watching the scene unfold, Willow suspected that the Wright Brothers' little drawings had been greeted with less vociferous discouragement.
And that had science going for it. Anya and Buffy, predictably, led the outrage brigade.
"You fell off a beam at work, didn't you?" Anya demanded, hands on hips. "No, wait--someone misfired one of those nail guns and sent a big metal projectile right into your frontal lobes. You know, you've combed your hair to cover it very realistically."
"You're in the gifted program at school, and you came up with
this?" Buffy asked Dawn incredulously. "Who's considered average--Paris Hilton?"
Willow heard the fear behind the outcry. Looking at the others, she tried to gauge their reactions. Her gaze froze on one person in particular. Giles was conspicuous by his silence. His face, though, was drawn and tense.
He already thought of this. He would never suggest it, but he thought of it.And her own reaction? She realized that in the midst of her fear, she was...proud.
Proud that these two people had thought of such a thing, were willing to do such a thing. It was so easy to overlook them both, amid the Slayers and the witches and the Watcher and the ex-demon, especially since Dawn was no longer the Key. But Dawn's request before the showdown with Glory had proved to Willow that she knew the meaning of sacrifice.
And Xander--always tagging along, it seemed, never playing a starring role. So willing to pass judgement on others; so much less inclined to turn that lens upon his own soul and psyche. But she had never, ever doubted his courage. She never would.
"Listen, if we could just turn down the volume from 'Metallica concert' to 'high school football game,' that would be helpful," the carpenter was saying.
"Right. Very good. Let's have perfect acoustics for this plan that involves
USING YOU AS BAIT!" Anya was glaring at her husband.
Forget the Big Bad and suicide, Xander. Your wife's gonna kill you herself."You guys, would you just hear us out?" Dawn pleaded. Willow noticed that Faith had moved just behind Buffy, standing in silent support. She also noticed, though, that Faith wasn't exactly shouting her opposition to the plan. Mostly she looked angry and helpless.
Dawn turned to her sister. "Buffy, think about it! This is our only shot to get this guy. Do you really see any other option? Unless Wesley has another source he hasn't told us about, we'll never figure this thing out in time to stop it. He needs two more--let's make him an offer he can't refuse."
"No. Absolutely not." Willlow had never heard Buffy's voice sound so flat.
"Buffy, c'mon," Xander said exasperatedly. "We can't just sit back and hope for the best."
"Yes, actually we can," Anya broke in. "We can keep studying and trying to figure it out and above all we can choose
not to make ourselves sitting ducks and put ourselves out there with a freakin'
apple practically stuffed in our mouth. And by 'ourselves,' of course, I mean you two!"
Xander looked at his wife helplessly, then turned to face the rest of them. "OK, what about you guys? What do you think?"
Oh, shit...Because she wasn't really surprised, was she? Eight had been taken. All of the Scoobies had been attacked except two. You didn't need perfect scores on your SAT's to see the implications. But did that mean she supported the idea? On the one hand, success would spare Kyra the duty of Guardianship--although apparently Kyra could spare
herself that life if she so chose.
But we could make it a moot point... And that, she realized, was the cause for her desperation: she knew, as surely as she knew that she would keep fighting, that Kyra would choose to fight as well.
She was shaken out of her reflection by Buffy's vehement, "It doesn't matter what they think."
Excuse me?"Whoa, B." The reluctance in Faith's voice was matched only by its quiet insistence.
Buffy wheeled to face her counterpart. "What--you think this is a good idea?"
"I dunno," Faith replied, her mouth tightening even as she shrugged. "Lotta kinks to work out to see if it even
is a plan. But I think we need to give everybody a vote, especially those two." She jerked her head in the direction of Dawn and Xander.
Buffy glared at Faith for a moment. "I thought you understood," she practically whispered.
"More than you know, B," came the miserable reply. The two Slayers locked eyes--Buffy's face accusing; Faith's, impassive.
"Just listen to us." Dawn's urgent voice broke the silence.
Buffy turned her back on Faith. "Go ahead, Dawn. Tell us about this wonderful plan." She addressed her sister but she was staring at Xander. Once again, Willow realized, her best friend was holding her oldest friend responsible for putting her sister in danger. He was the only person in the room that Buffy currently resented more than Faith.
To his credit, Xander didn't expend energy trying to defend himself. He returned Buffy's gaze steadily, and when he spoke, his voice was calm. "First of all, we're not talking about wandering off in the middle of the night to roam the streets of Sunnydale," he began. "You guys would be nearby the whole time. And we certainly wouldn't be carrying, oh, knives or guns or cyanide tablets in our pockets."
"This is ridiculous," Anya muttered. "I can't believe we're even talking about this."
"Ahn, it's been barely a week, and we're already desperate," Xander replied, and now frustration spilled out in his voice. "We're hiding here, under constant surveillance from each other, listening to the news and just waiting for the next one, and the the next one. We read and we study and we consult and we don't know
shit!" He broke off helplessly, then added, "She had three kids, Anya. We knew he was here, but we
didn't know what to do, and now three kids have no mother. God,
you remember how Trevor's partner looked. Can we really just sit here and...hope?" He reached for his wife's hand, but Anya showed no interest in sharing it.
"You were talking about your plan, Xander," Buffy broke in. "You were assuring us nothing could go wrong."
"Lay off him!" Dawn said angrily. "I'm not ten, and he didn't talk me into running with scissors.
I suggested this in the first place."
"And he just went right along with it?" Buffy asked, eyes narrowing to slits.
"No, he actually suggested that
he try it by himself," Dawn retorted. "And I reminded him, as I seem to need to remind you, that I've been speaking in complete sentences for quite some time now. I'll make up my own mind."
"Like hell you will," Buffy shot back, her voice rising. "If your complete sentences made any sense then maybe I'd--"
The crackle of the monitor brought this lovely exchange to an abrupt halt, as one and then another plaintive cry reached their ears, followed by a long, shuddering intake of breath and finally a full-out wail of no small fury.
"You woke Kyra!" Buffy and Dawn accused each other simultaneously.
"Oh, very good," Willow sighed. "Say it a little louder, just to make sure her nap is irretrievably over." The two sisters glared at each other in silence now, but it was too late. The cries went on unabated until Tara gave Willow a rueful glance and stood up, shaking her head. "I'll get her, Sweetie. You stay here and see how Round Two goes."
The room fell silent as Tara left. Looking back at the others, Willow tried to rein in her own frustration, but she'd only had that one drama class and her performance in "Death of a Salesman" had been uneven at best. "Sorry," came two sheepish voices after a moment.
"Everybody's stressed, I know that," she replied diplomatically, although she did allow a tiny bit of martyrdom to slip into her tone. "But can we possibly discuss this a little more calmly?"
Agreements of varying enthusiasm greeted this request, and then she heard a slight padding on the stairs. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw Tara heading toward them, bobbing a still-restive Kyra against her shoulder. She was frankly surprised: she had assumed that her mate would try to rock their child back to sleep in the chair upstairs. Tara, though, had other plans.
"I'm just going to walk her around down here for a bit," she said casually, but Willow recognized her plan. No one would want to get too hostile if Kyra were in the room. Catching Tara's eye, Willow gave her a wink, to which Tara responded with a conspiratorial grin.
We may not get her back down as quickly, but it's worth it to stop a full-scale escalation."So. We were talking about our plan," Dawn began, speaking in studiously measured tones.
"Yes," Anya said tersely, just this side of a whisper. "Your very, very bad plan."
"And again I say: what choice do we have?" Xander replied. "Do any of us just want to sit around and wait?" Anya's hand shot quickly into the air.
"We're not doing nothing," Buffy protested. "We've been researching 'round the clock."
"OK, so let's narrow our definition of 'doing,'" Xander countered. "Let's really make it an action verb. What have we
done?" Even Buffy had no answer for this. "Giles--do you see us having any kind of breakthrough in the immediate future? I mean, really?"
The Watcher spoke for the first time, and when he did it seemed to Willow that he selected his words with great care. "No, Xander, I don't. I've exhausted every contact I have; consulted every possible text. Put simply: I can't imagine that we would learn anything that would prove immediately valuable."
Buffy turned upon him with the look of the supremely betrayed, but he forestalled her with a raised palm. "Before you verbally and perhaps physically eviscerate me, Buffy, allow me to ask you a question: Would you not do the same thing, were you in their position?"
"Rhetorical question, Giles," she replied through gritted teeth. "I'm
not in their position."
"So there's no need even to consider it?" the Watcher continued. "Because I think that as frightening as this certainly is, it represents the only tangible course of action available to us. I also think that, as Faith pointed out, there are other votes to be considered."
"My vote's the same as Buffy's," Anya chimed in. She had moved to Xander's side, and now clung to his arm as if she might physically restrain him from doing anything not to her liking. Willow had a sudden image of Xander strolling about casually, trying to catch this demon's attention, with his wife draped over his back, shouting invectives against both demon and husband.
"Stop it," Dawn implored, then glanced at Kyra and took a moment to steady herself. "Buffy, I know you want to protect me. Anya, you want to protect Xander. I get it. But if you physically hold me back, then you'd better be prepared to explain to Kyra just why she's the Guardian: because we were too scared to do anything."
Oh, that's gonna go over well...And true enough, Buffy recoiled sharply. "Don't you dare try to lay a guilt trip on me!" she practically hissed. "Kyra gets to choose, either way!"
"Fine. So what if she doesn't want to do it, but feels like she has to, out of duty? We'll have to tell her that we had at least a shot at getting her off the hook but didn't try it. And if it turns out she
does want to be the Guardian, we'll have to tell her that part of why she has these powers is because we let two innocents die."
"It's not that simple," Buffy protested, but Willow could see the internal battle raging behind the stung response.
"I think it is," Dawn shrugged. "If you didn't want me thinking for myself and being a part of all this, you should have shipped me off to boarding school a long, long time ago. Where I probably would have gotten expelled for truancy, what with grabbing the bus back here to fight demons and all," she added.
Buffy looked desperately from Dawn to Xander and then back again. It seemed to Willow that both Buffy and Anya had the look of women who know the scales have tipped and are completely at a loss as to how to right them. Unexpectedly, Buffy turned to Faith.
"What do you think? Really?"
Faith's raised eyebrows asked for confirmation that Buffy wanted an honest answer. At the silent nod, the Dark Slayer drew a slow breath. "I think it's our best shot, B. And I think it sucks that it's our best shot." Again, Willow had the sense of everyone else fading away, including Tara and herself this time. There were only two very powerful women: one asking what she didn't want to ask; the other saying what she didn't want to say.
"Well I still think it's the most asinine idea I've heard since JFK put the top down on the convertible," Anya broke in bitterly. "Not that it apparently matters."
"Ahn, honey, it does matter," Xander replied gently. "But this is about the bigger picture." He hesitated, and then added, "Besides, it's the--"
"You tell me it's the right thing to do and I will castrate you with a butter knife," Anya interrupted him flatly. "Asshole."
A thick and very uncomfortable silence fell over the room, as the shift to acceptance was tacitly registered. Willow looked at Tara, who was looking at Kyra, who was blinking at each of them in turn with sleepy eyes that stubbornly refused to turn off the TV when this particular drama was airing.
"So what do we do?" Willow finally asked. Part of her wondered if she should feel guilty: Xander and Dawn were undoubtedly motivated to no small extent by their desire to protect Kyra.
Put it on my tab, she thought with a sigh. By now everyone owed so much to everyone else that if they ever tried to sort out the check, their heads would explode.
And they would do this anyway, she realized.
Because it's what we do."Well, we didn't exactly have hours to hammer out the details," Xander began, "but we think it's a pretty good bet that it would love to have another go at the Scoobies."
"Remember, as far as we know it's never failed before," Dawn added. "Isn't that right?" She glanced at Giles.
The Watcher nodded. "Given its incorporeal nature and the remarkable dispatch with which it works, it's not surprising that it has eluded simple detection, much less failure, over the course of its existence."
"And he just said what?" Xander asked, mystified.
"Bad thing invisible, very quick," Willow translated.
"Your theory is a reasonable one," Giles continued, chewing the stem of his glasses thoughtfully. "It made what many would consider a bold move in going after the three of us at the Magic Box. When that failed--thanks to Willow's discerning eye--it moved straighway to Tara."
"Where it seemed to be in a definite rush," Tara concluded, sinking into an overstuffed chair. Their daughter showed no sign of drifting off, but instead nuzzled deeper into Tara's arms. "It was...I wouldn't say
sloppy, exactly, but it was crude, I guess. With you guys, it seemed like the whole thing started pretty much without your really noticing it, and then it just picked up steam--really quickly."
"Yeah, that sounds like my little trip through the Fun House," Buffy nodded grimly.
"And it seemed like it was definitely
your idea--to kill yourself, I mean. Because it was the right thing to do."
"Ask me how sick I am of
that phrase," Anya muttered.
"With me," Tara continued, "it was a lot blunter, and it definitely felt like someone else was talking
to me. I..." She scowled for a moment, remembering. "Like, it
was my idea, or it picked up on my insecurities enough to
feel like my idea--but it started out, at least, like someone else's. There was a lot of second-person stuff going on."
"If he's been doing this for honkin'
centuries, you'd think he'd have the sales pitch down cold," Faith mused.
"So either he was having an off day--which, let's face it, seems unlikely," Willow said, "or he was just a wee bit depleted by the time he got to Tara."
"Which in turn suggests that he needs at least some period of time to replenish his energy after an attack." Giles mulled this over.
"That would be nice," Buffy said slowly. "Giles--how long between attacks? On average?"
The Watcher consulted his copious notes. "Let me see...Just over two days."
"And the priest died yesterday," Dawn continued. "So if it holds true to form, we're looking at late tomorrow or early Wednesday."
"Good...That's good," Anya murmured.
"Because it gives us time to strategize, or because you think you'll talk me out of it?" Xander asked, looking at his wife suspiciously.
"Talk you out of it?" Anya replied, sounding almost hurt. "Of course not. I am now completely excited about the entire idea. I may videotape it, actually."
"Right," Xander muttered, clearly unconvinced.
"Actually, we
shouldn't use that time to strategize," Tara pointed out. "If we want to get him when he's not at the top of his game, we need to send him an invitation sooner rather than later."
"That's true," Giles nodded.
"Here's another point," Tara continued. "This thing has been out there for awhile, right? So he has to know his own strengths and vulnerabilities, including the fact that he needs some R&R between attacks. So why go after me when he
knows he's not at full strength?"
"Because he was pissed," Xander shrugged. "Like we said: we foiled his nefarious scheme, and he didn't like it."
"Yeah, he was angry," Tara acknowledged. "But he was also
arrogant. Arrogant enough to
act on that anger, even when he knew he wasn't at the top of his game."
They considered this for a moment. "Well, if you had just gone 0 for 3 and your batting average only dropped to .999, you'd be pretty cocky too," Xander offered.
"Exactly," Tara concurred. "Either he figured he could still pull it off, even at diminished capacity, or he knew that at the very least he wouldn't be captured."
"So perhaps we can use that hubris to our advantage," Gile mused.
Faith shook her head. "OK, not to be all downer girl or anything--unless it comes with an outfit that shows off my legs," she amended thoughtfully. "But what do we do if he
does come calling? I mean, we can keep you two safe," she added pointedly--as much for Buffy's benefit, Willow suspected, as for Xander and Dawn. "But what refreshments do we serve him when he shows up? We can't see him. We can't hear him. I'm not up for licking him. So--what happens then?"
Xander glanced at Dawn, and then fixed Willow with a nervous grin. "That's where you and your lovely partner come in, Will."
"Looking for some 11th-hour magic?" she asked, though she had already begun to consider the possibility before Xander brought it up.
"Either that, or he wants you to bust out a little girl-on-girl action when this Bad Boy shows up, and maybe distract him so we can throw a net over him," Faith interjected wryly.
"Easy there, Penthouse girl," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
"Hey, let's not be hasty," Xander broke in. "Gotta be willing to think outside the box!"
"No, actually, we don't," Willow retorted indignantly. "In fact, I do my best work
in the box!" She saw Faith's approving grin by the light of her mortification.
"She really does," Tara chimed in helpfully.
"A modest cottage on the coast," Giles murmured wistfully. "Perhaps a small terrier, loyal and utterly incapable of human speech..." Kyra was giving her mothers a look that said, "Something naughty just happened, didn't it?"
Buffy turned back to Xander. "You were saying...?"
"OK, yes. It's of the magical variety. Will, is it possible to do some kind of containment spell once we get him here?"
"You mean, like trap him?" Willow asked skeptically.
"Right," Dawn nodded. "There must be something. I mean, you guys know oodles of magic."
"That's just what we told those Watcher guys when they called us up and asked about our Magical Proficiency Level," Tara commented, stroking Kyra's dark hair.. "We said, 'We're at the 'Oodles' level.'"
"Thanks for the compliment, Dawnie, but I dunno," Willow frowned. "It's one thing when the spirit or demon is physically present. But this guy doesn't leave a trace except for exhaustion, headache, and raging suicidality--all of which are housed within the targets."
"Maybe we bind
them," Tara suggested.
"How would we know if it worked?" Anya demanded.
Tara hesitated. "Well, if they continue to feel like killing themselves, even after we've effectively stopped that option..."
"That sounds like fun," Faith muttered.
"People live with despair every day," Tara shrugged. "Some fight it off; some lose the fight. It wouldn't be fun, but it would be relatively temporary."
"Small price to pay," Xander said grimly.
"We're gonna have to hit the books to see what's out there," Willow cautioned. "I'm not even saying it's possible."
"Hey, beating this guy feels more possible than it did an hour ago," Dawn reminded her. "We gotta try it. How long do you need?"
"First of all, do we have an ETI?" Anya asked. At the puzzled glances, she added, "Estimated Time of Idiocy."
"Sooner the better," Xander said, studiously avoiding Anya's exasperated sigh.
"I agree," Giles nodded. "What were you planning to do?"
Dawn shrugged with what Willow suspected was feigned nonchalance. "We figure he's already got his eye on us. All we have to do is give him an opening."
"And if he's been listening in on all of this?" Buffy asked.
Huh...No one seemed to have considered this.
"Then we're fucked," Faith eventually replied. "In every possible way, with a variety of implements."
"OK. Let's just let ourselves believe for the moment that our lives haven't been tapped," Willow sighed. "Just to keep from shrieking and upsetting Kyra. He may be cocky and he may be pissed, but I still don't know if he'll make a run for you with us around."
"Wait a minute," Buffy interjected warningly. "Our presence is non-negotiable."
"I'm not saying we take in a double-feature at the Cineplex," Willow replied. "But we've pretty much been sitting on each other for the last three days. We've made
real sure that Xander and Dawn are never alone. I say we pull back--close enough to maintain some visuals but distant enough to give the illusion that they're on their own."
"I don't like this," Buffy muttered.
"That's a shocker," her sister retorted, rolling her eyes.
"I'm serious, Dawn," Buffy said, her voice shot through with sudden anguish. "This thing is so beyond scary I can't describe it. I went from feeling a little tired to a bit of a headache to knowing, I mean
knowing, that I should kill myself. If Willow hadn't been there, I'd be dead. So would Giles and Anya and Tara. So I'm sorry if I seem a little high-strung about this but this guy scares me more than anybody I've ever faced. And now we're talking about setting you out in the open while we hide out in the background and
hope we can get there in time. Do I like this? No. Not one damn bit."
The outburst took everyone by surprise, Dawn most of all. The teenager wrapped her arms tightly about herself and then took a hesitant step toward her sister. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I am. But we have to do this."
Buffy just shook her head, spent. Exhaustion rolled off of her in waves. "I know," she sighed. "But don't bust my chops for trying to make this as non-lethal as possible. OK?"
"Gotcha," Dawn said, giving Buffy's arm a quick squeeze. "If I bust your chops one more time, I forfeit the right to borrow your pants."
"You never
had that right," Buffy countered grimly. "Ante up something meaningful."
"Laundry duty for a month."
"Now you're talking." The Slayer sighed and turned to face the others. "Guys, what can we do to up the safety quotient on this deal?"
Willow had been considering that very question during the exchange. "Between magic and technology, I think we can keep them pretty well covered."
"Setting aside the 'pretty well' part of that--what are you thinking about?" Buffy asked, frowning.
"In the first place, we don't have to be in the next town," Willow explained. "It's possible that in the next room is an option. Secondly, we can rig up listening devices and hidden cameras, and I know that Tara and I can come up with something that'll add another layer of observation to it."
"What about tranq guns?" Xander suggested. "I mean, I can't imagine either of us outrunning either of
you," he explained, glancing from one Slayer to the next, "but just in case we make a break for it: you pump us full of something to help us sleep. For a long time."
Buffy looked at Faith, who nodded her tentative agreement. "Makes sense, B. Both of us are fast, and both of us are good shots. I can't see 'em getting away from us, even if they tried."
"We cover every point of ingress and egress." Anya's voice took Willow by surprise. "No way in or out that we don't have someone stationed at."
"Good plan," Buffy said quietly, gazing at Anya.
"So Dawn and I will sit here and basically reminisce," Xander continued. "Talk about the old times; foes we've vanquished and all that. Maybe we mention you guys being out. Maybe, more than anything, we
think about what we've done, try to
feel it, the good and the bad. We're hoping he's not listening to us right now, but it seems like he can
hear us--like, the scared parts."
"I agree," Giles nodded. "Try to focus on that as much as the plan itself."
"I know we're working under a deadline here, but we're not doing this until everything is completely set up
and we do a run-through or ten," Buffy stated, her tone suggesting that disagreement would not go well.
"No, that makes sense," Willow agreed. "We have to look into spells anyway. None of this means anything if we don't find a way to keep him here."
"How long are we talking about?" Xander asked, but Willow could only shrug.
"As long as it takes and no, I know that's not an answer." She glanced at her watch: 1:20. Kyra could probably be induced to head back to Naponia, but she would just wake up again for lunch soon anyway. "Let's break for food intake. Tara and I will feed Kyra and see if she wants to go back down, then we'll hit the books."
"I can help watch her," Giles offered, his smile casting a sudden and welcome light over his worn features.
"Sounds good," Tara replied gratefully.
"Great," Anya said brightly, her voice taking on its usual tone. "A nice relaxing lunch before throwing open wide the door to self-destruction. I think I'll have a BLT."
Willow stood and walked over to her mate. She gazed at her family, the defining truths of her life, sitting in one overstuffed chair.
"Looks like we're on."
********
To Be Continued
). It strikes me that while the Anadeis have a decent idea about how people tick up to a point, they grossly underestimate them beyond that.
That's what I totally like about you Mary, that not only are you an excellent story teller but you also have a great sense of humor.
) you can quite comfortably say you've been foreshadowing that particular plot development for a staggering 72 chapters!
How the heck did you get so good, Mary? 'Cause trust me, you are so much more than a tall lesbian with a great rack.
Howdy
