As Time Goes By

[LeatherQueen]

Le Sigh... this wonderful story is over. BUT... we have another sequel in the works to look forward to, yes? Wonderful! Spectactular! And other words of a superlative nature!

So... we leave with Dawn in a somewhat vegetative/coma/essence-not-there mode. Buffy pulling back into herself, but starting to rely on Faith. And Tara and Willow starting to come to a better acceptance of who their daughter will probably become. Wow... I can't wait to see where you take them next!

[DarkWiccan]

It's taken me a few days to reply to the ending of this because I, well, I can't believe it's actually over.

It just seemed to end kinda abruptly. Which was probably the point. Ya know, seeing as how you are a literary genius and all. What with your lovely logodaedaly and breathtaking badinage. Not to mention your considerate circumstantiation of the climax. All whilst avoiding annoying alliteration, I... oh.

Anyway, I loved it, as I always love your work, and I am considerably anxious to find out what happens in your next installment of the series.

Chock-full of Cheers!
DW

[JustSkipIt]

Mary,
Sorry for the delay to responding. It's taken me a few days to get some time at the computer, or at least on the KB. I love this ending, the epilogue. Why? Because it answers virtually nothing! I mean usually an epilogue says "then she grew up to be a doctor and died at 82, etc." (really the best are at the end of Animal House). But this epilogue? Answers virtually nothing and I love it. Why? Because that's how life is. Sometimes we don't get answers to our questions. Sometimes we never know what happens between people or if someone will recover or why something happened. Most writers want to tie everything up with a pretty pink bow and place it under the tree. I love that you resist any urge to do that. So well done. Also love W/T's awe about their daughter's coming powers. I mean they resisted having her be a hero but now? They're excited about it.

So so so well done. Thanks.

PS: You've definitely left the sequel door open and I think there are a few kittens who would accept that.

[pipsberg]

Antigone,

First of all, thanks for coming back to this story and finishing it. You are a great writer. This was a very sweet ending and I enjoyed the whole thing. I look forward to more fiction from you.

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hello, Kittens. Some more replies, and need I say I'm grateful? Fine, I'll say it: I'm grateful.

Histchic: You captured the essential struggle here really well: what sacrifices do we deem the necessary ones? Tara's right in saying that the law of averages caught up to them, b/c it's truly amazing that none of them have died. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and yes--there will be a sequel! Thanks so much.

LeatherQueen: Is it wrong for me to be glad that you're sad the story's over? B/c, you know--that means you liked it. And I'm ever-so-glad you did! Thanks for following this and for leaving such great feedback throughout.

DarkWiccan: Hey, DW--how's it going? Yeah, the ending was more abrupt than it would have been were there no sequel planned. But as Debra also pointed out, this story doesn't lend itself to a tidy wrap-up, and I didn't want to write one. I really appreciate your kind words and your encouragement--thank you!

Debra: And we come to the end of another walk together, eh? Ah, but there's that other one we're still treading! No sweat on the delay--I know how crazy and crunched time can get. You know, you pretty much nailed it right here:

[T]hat's how life is. Sometimes we don't get answers to our questions. Sometimes we never know what happens between people or if someone will recover or why something happened.

Yes, yes, and may I just add--yes! So much of this story was about the difficulty in ascertaining the best path and the worthiness of the struggle in spite of that uncertainty.

I wanted to end, too, on a positive note--not pretense about the painful elements, but inclusive of the fact that they do feel some burgeoning pride in their daughter's ability. That was a huge part of the dream: they "saw" her at work, and saw that she loved it. That facilitated the process.

Thanks so much for staying with this story, Debra, and for welcoming me back so warmly. You rock, abundantly. (And by the way--I love your signature line!)

Pipsberg: Hey--how are you? Thanks for following this! Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for letting me know that fact.

OK--more if and when replies warrant. To those of you celebrating holidays, I hope they're all you would wish them to be. And to everyone--have a wonderful weekend.
Mary

[lottagay]

great story happy holidays to you. I look foreward to an update.

[Puff]

Hi Mary Sorry for the delay in giving feedback for quite some time *blushes and kicks at rocks with sneakers. Well not REAL rocks because ummm I'm inside and there aren't any rocks in here* Anyway I have been hopelessly busy with Nursing school but I had my finals this week so now I am on vacation. Oh can I say that moving from CA to MA is a bit of a shock to the system with all this bloody white stuff on the ground that won't melt grr. On the other hand at least it isn't raining!

I loved this story so. I was so happy when you started writing it again and you didn't disappoint me with any of it. It brought up the interesting dilema of what would you give up to get the result you wanted? Of course no one really thought they'd be giving up Dawn so it made a very interesting ending with all of the emotions flying around. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take all of that. It was also kind of fitting that it was Dawn who got to sacrifice herself for the greater good, although I somehow think that she's going to have to learn how it hard is to live in the world again. Finally Faith...I've always been a fan of hers so I love her inclusion in this fic. I am pleased that she didn't run away and I'm glad that she is finally staying by Buffys side.

Thanks once again Mary for writing this. I'll try and be more prompt with my feedback in future

[GayNow]

Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary....

What can I possibly say that I haven't already said before? I absolutely love this entire story...the entire series. I reread OST a few days ago...again...and it just never loses it's impact. GS&A will be reread soon, so that I can reread this wonderful fic.

As I've mentioned before, you have a wonderful grasp on the characters in the story. You've kept the essence of each person and built on that foundation to create your own characters...and they are characters, not caricatures. I think that is something that many writers (including yours truly) fall prey to. In making the people in the story larger than life, they also make them unrealistic. You, however, do not fall into this trap. Good on ya!

Like Debra, I love the fact that there is nothing but loose ends here (though the occasional tight end is nice too). You haven't handed us a package that's been neatly wrapped and tied up with an attractive little bow. The beauty of fan fiction is that writers and readers alike can lose themselves in the fantasy of perfect endings -- '...and they lived happily ever after.' But we all know that doesn't really happen. If I may quote the end of the movie Ever After (and that's not a question, cuz, really, how are you gonna stop me from quoting it?)...."And while they did live happily ever after, the important thing is that they lived." Okay, so that may not be a direct quote...I may have switched some words up...but you get the point. I think that is what is important here....they are all alive. Sure, Dawn is alive in body only right now...but her mind is out there somewhere so there is still hope. Willow and Tara have seen Kyra in their dream of the future....she is alive and good at what she does. And she seems to revel in it. There is hope. Faith remains at Buffy's side. Her love may be forever unrequited, but Buffy has held Faith's mind...she knows what Faith feels. And Buffy has not turned Faith away. There is hope.

THAT is really what I love about this epilogue....it's about hope. It's about the bonds of friendship and love. And, really, isn't that what's so important? I think so.

So, yeah, they are all gorging themselves on the Buffet O' Guilt, but there is still hope. It may only be a tiny shimmer of hope, but it's still there. And they have each other to lean on for strength. I think that has been a staple throughout this series, Mary -- the power of the group. They all have minds of their own, and independent spirits, but they just aren't whole without the others there -- it's the collective strength that wins out in the end.

Beautifully done, Mary. I'm very much looking forward to the next installment of the series. Until then, I have the first three stories to keep me company.

Much kudos, my friend.

Carleen

[Boadecia]

Well I just wanted to say thanks for one truly entertaining and thrilling read! You are a great writer with some incredible ideas and insights into the human condition. IN less words, nice work my son/daughter/person thingy lol I hope to read more of your stuff soon

[the hero factor]

Ya know, I've come to see Pens, and the fic posted here, as being safe. Obviously, nothing irrevocable can happen to Willow and Tara. And, in most stories, the Scoobies are little more than background, sorta just there for atmosphere and not enough of a focus for anything really bad to happen to them. So, safe.

When I started reading this story, the thing I loved most was how much a part of things the rest of the Scoobies were. As much as I love Willow and Tara, I also love the rest of the Gang. The s5 theme of the Scoobies as family is pretty much my favorite thing about the show. Of course, with the Scoobs taking a bigger part in things, it means that they're not so safe, anymore.

And now there's Dawn in a coma-whatever-thing. I'm very anxious for the next part. Knowing that there is a next part is keeping me from completely freaking out about Dawn's condition. That's not to say that whatever has happened to her will be reversed, but at least for the moment I know it's a possibility.

I liked Willow and Tara going to the two funerals. Willow wanting to tell they family the truth about their loved one's death was very sad. It made me happy all over again that this BB is gone for good.

Buffy and Faith. I have to say, I'm not usually much of a B/F shipper. Even though I'm more centered around the girl on girl action, I'm such a Bangel shipper, that I don't really get that into B/F. I can appreciate their subtext-y chemistry on the show, and have even read a few B/F fics, but mostly, they just don't really do it for me. But as far as the Antigoneverse goes, I'm thinking I might be a Buffy/Faith shipper. Or, I at least can see myself being one in the future.

And, for someone who doesn't really like Xander, you write him with more respect than the show did in the last two seasons (you know, once the writers decided that the best choice for male lead was the mass-murdering, attempted-rapist, soulless demon). As someone who does like Xander, I really appreciate this.

And speaking of the peroxide waste, I love love love that we've got so much of the Antigoneverse, and so far? Not one appearance from him. (I'm a Spike hater, ask me how!)

Anyway, great job, and thanks for the great story. Thanks for the well-written and wonderful Scoobies. The people they are here are the people I was expecting to see when I tuned into s6. The people I never really saw again after "The Gift." I like having them back, and I'm really looking forward to whatever comes next.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

goddess, this story is fucking awesome!!!!!!!!
i started this story a few days ago, shortly after finishing GS&A, have started it shortly after reading OST for the fourth or fifth time; i love ur writing Mary, and i think this may be ur best story yet; can't wait for the sequel--hope it reaches stores near me very, very soon
i will be back soon to leave fb on specific parts i loved, but i first need to recover from the climax and the aftermath thereof
for the time being, happy new year and keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!

[AntigoneUnbound]

Hello, all. Hope the new year is looking promising to one and all.

LottaGay: Glad you liked it! The "update" won't take place for awhile since the next installment will commence the sequel, but I hope you enjoy that as well! Thanks.

Puff: Hey! So glad to see you, o wimpular one! Sounds like nursing school is kickin' yer butt in that special, special way. And MA? Yeah, I suspect that would be quite the switch.

Like you, I thought it was important (though obviously painful) that Dawn be the one in essence sacrificed, and that she willingly embraced that risk. She fully hoped that things would go well, but I don't think she assumed that at all. And yeah--obviously I have a soft spot for Faith! I feel like she had so much potential in canon, and then basically got shuffled around to fit whatever need they had at the time: save Angel; make Buffy face her dark side; leave viewers drooling...(Oh wait, that was just me. Actually, I'm pretty sure it wasn't just me.)

It was so good to see you again, Puff! Thanks for taking some of your rare down time to leave feedback. I hope that this next semester is a manageable one.

Car, Dear Car; Love Thee from Afar: As always, you capture so well the essence of what I'm trying to do: it starts and ends with character. (And yes, a lot of the characters I know have tight ends.) I just find something so appealing about these people as they were originally wrought (well, Xander not so much but still...) and so I often end up feeling as though I'm trying to envision where they might have gone, had they not been so cruelly misused. Harumph.

You put it very well when you said:

So, yeah, they are all gorging themselves on the Buffet O' Guilt, but there is still hope. It may only be a tiny shimmer of hope, but it's still there. And they have each other to lean on for strength. I think that has been a staple throughout this series, Mary -- the power of the group. They all have minds of their own, and independent spirits, but they just aren't whole without the others there -- it's the collective strength that wins out in the end.

Yes--absolutely. Ultimately, they choose (and I believe it is a choice) to draw closer, not fragment or pull away. They choose to respect different choices (note that Buffy doesn't try to physically prevent Dawn for her choice, though she might well be able to do so) vs. expel someone to preserve the illusion of consensus. And they choose, as a group, to fight. For me, so much of this has been about the growing acknowledgement of the magnitude of their fight (the ongoing one) and its worthiness. Anya perhaps said it best when she noted that loving each other was just profoundly stupid--b/c the risks of loss are so great, the impact of any such loss is even more so.

Thank you, Car, for coming along on this journey with me. It has been my singular good fortune to be on the receiving end of your feedback. You've joked before about its length, but its quality is what comes through so consistently. You rock, my friend.

Boadecia: Well, as your daughter, I say thank you very much! I esp. appreciate the comment about insight, b/c the human condition truly fascinates me. Thanks again, and hope to see you in Sequelvania.

HeroFactor: Yeah, I knew I was risking some distress when I eschewed the happy ending--but I felt like it was the only true course for this story. But you're right: there is hope for some sort of recovery. Will it happen, and if so, what kind of recovery will it be? Hmm...

It definitely felt important to have the final victims recognized. In B-verse, we never really had a sense of any of the victims as people. For Willow and Tara, their attendance was partly to pay tribute, and partly to remind themselves of those Everymen and Everywomen for whom they fight. Their lives don't allow for much mingling with non-Scoobies, and I thought that as such, it might be easy for them to lose sight of everyone else. Of course they keep fighting, but the faces and the names don't register. I thought it was important to have this time be different.

Buffy and Faith...I still have a lot of questions about where I want to take that in the future, but I appreciate your kind words about the possibility of their getting together. At the very least, they are now strong allies and comrades in ways that no other relationship can really replicate.

Thanks for following this, and for taking the time to send such good thoughts.

CrazyWitchWillow: You noted:

i first need to recover from the climax

Of course. Everyone does. The human body--

What? Oh. Sorry, my mistake.

I'm glad you enjoyed this so much! I really appreciate hearing about it. (Your words brought a maidenly blush to my face...) Thanks for giving it a look, and for letting me know about it!

Thanks again,
Mary

[WillowRTaraM1]

Mary,

I had to wait until I had had a full nights sleep in order to give you feedback that made any kind of sense I made this vow to myself that I would hold back from reading this incredible story until I knew that it was finished. You don't know how hard it was to see your name in the update thread and then restrain myself from rushing to the story. I know you've been told over and over again, but Mary you have such a gift with words. I fell in love with your writing the moment I started reading On Second Thought and you have forever been not just one of my favorite "fic-writers", but one of my favorite authors. You have this way of making me fall in love with these characters all over again every time I read one of your updates. I find myself laughing hysterically and crying like a baby throughout the course of your fics without fail. I guess enough of this gushing ay (although I could probably go on for quite some time) and tell you what I actually thought of As Time Goes By (As if theres any question.)

I've always adored the idea of Willow and Tara as parents. I know that they would have been amazing parents without a doubt in my mind. Kyra, I could picture her perfectley that prescious little thing. It made so little sense the way she arrived to them, but then again it made absolute sense. I felt my heart melting at all the little moments. The stake n slay doll, the moment she smiled taras gorgeous lopsided smile, the girls feeling that sense of completeness and love in its purest form while watching Kyra nap, and of course the ever hilarious "Bub!". How perfect, it had me chuckeling every time. I could picture Buffys mortification so clearly

It was difficult to watch (or read.. goodness it always feels like im watching the story unfold right in front of me) our girls go through so much conflict with the idea that Kyra was indeed different, especially Tara. Nothing can ever really be that simple in the land of the scoobies can it? I was incredibly relieved.. or as relieved as one can get, to learn that Kyra would indeed have the choice of becoming The Guardian or not. I have no doubt in my mind that she would choose to fight though, look at who her protector is? How could you have someone like Faith teaching you and then be like "eh.. i feel like gardening" heh. I think she'll be more then covered in the future with the feirce love and strength from her family, not to mention her own strength. I can't wait to see what Kyra is like just a little older when she can talk and respond to the situations around her. I bet she''ll be a little spit-fire!

The Big Bad in this story was scarier then any other demon you could have written about in my opinion. The idea that you are your own enemy, that your own mind is what you can not trust, thats terrifying. It was so painful to see Willow going under its thrall and Taras following breakdown after knowing that she almost lost her soul mate. Everyone's vulnerabilities were so real and most of them hit home to me. My heart aches to think that the spouse's of those other victims would go on believing that they wern't enough for the ones they loved. Its so sad. I can't believe about Dawn. I've always had a special place in my heart for Dawn, I don't care what anyone else says. I think she is an amazing character and I cryed like a little girl without fail when I read that the BB had taken her. Buffys grief, Buffys guilt.. god I can't even imagine. I pray that shes going to be ok in the sequel.

I loved the relationships in this story too. You captured that special something that Xander and Anya have together. You just know that Anya loves that man more then she could probably verbalize to anyone. Oh Anya, I love her. You had me cracking up with all of her comments throughout the fic. You nailed it, so beleivable. I could also completely believe Anya's vulnerability. I think she acts like she doesn't realize that people give her strange looks, or that people laugh at the things she says, but she does and she always questions herself because of it.

Let me just say that I have never ever been a fan of the idea of a Buffy/Faith pairing. I would always sigh and kind of skim over those parts in other fics. I never really cared to read about it. This is where it changed. I was so suprised I kind of tilted my head and was like "Hmm.. now that you put it that way.. yeah... yeah I see it, I really do." You made me see them in an entirely different light Mary. I've always loved Faith and I've always thought man there is so much more to that character.. so much depth.. so much to explore. You accomplished this perfectley. I absolutley fell in love with your Faith. I understood and believed in her love for Buffy. Hell I wanted them to get together!! I not only did not skim through the Buffy/Faith parts.. but I looked forward to them. I can't wait to see what happens with them next. Thanks for changing my opinion too!!

I could probably go on and on but I just wanted to tell you how much I absolutely adored this story. I also wanted to thank you for sharing it with us. You have no idea how much you brightened my day everytime I sat down to read. I was so happy to hear that the sequel is bouncing around in your head already. I can't wait. Although I may not always post feedback faithfully, always know that you have a loyal reader in this chic Mary

[ShallowLikeUs]

Okay, so i sat down one day...yesterday evening, and i was all "Hmm...i could use some excellent fanfic readin' about now..." and because i so vehemently loved GSaA, i saw this and just about squealed and danced. Actually it was only dancing...cause i didn't want to awaken my room mate. So anyways, i digress from the point, which i do all the time, i actually did it in my essay for english and the Prof...well...he yelled at me for not being a linear thinker. Stupid Poof Head. What was i saying? Right, Yay.

i really enjoy your stories. Very Very Very Much So. Notice my use of capital letters, meaning emphasis, cause in reality i have a Great Disdain for the shift key. You have a way of really capturing the characters...kinda like lightning bugs...make sure you put holes in the top of the jar 'kay? Um...point...Anya's lovely lullaby, had me laughing so hard that i was doubled over with my forehead on the desk. And...Anya's...her...heh, her comment about Mary being full of Grace... and Jesus being the result of two lesbians...it... well it still brings tears to my eyes, cause i just think of it and start laughing. Something loveable about fanfic compared to the show is that you can add all these references to you know, assholes in society, where on the show when Giles asks Buffy-in-Faith "Who's president?" she says "Giles, we're on TV, if we hope for this to prevail into the future we cannot make such time related references. lest when Danielle is president the references will be wrong." (see how I made myself president there? yeah, i thought it was awesome too.)

Kyra repeating after Willow when she said "Hell" was great...cause I did that with my nephew, only...it was a different four letter word...it was like a train wreck when he said it infront of my entire family when i brought him back from the park...i stood there, ready to lay myself on the tracks, the safety of the train and it's cargo be damned. a two year old should not know the F word...anywho...

I love how you depict Faith, cause well, i love Faith, even when she was bad, cause she wasn't bad like Angelus bad, she was just...misguided? And i love how she instantly is drawn to Kyra, great, subtle too, and i love subtlety, mostly cause i have the subtlety of...well, of a bullet ripping through your stomach.

And now Dawn...coma...jeez... poser much? Like the coma thing hasn't already been done by both Faith, and by Willow.(remember when she wouldn't wake up until Xander's heartfelt "I love you" and she calls out for Oz, and there he was, season 2 *nod nod* sorry.. digress) And Cordelia too, which coincidentally died last night on Charmed...well, when I was watching Charmed cause there was a marathon, Charisma was on the show and killed...But anyways...Dawn can't be gone, simply because...i future president says so. (Can ex-patriots be president?) And as much as Dawn bothered me in season 6, i can't hate her, cause she dances so much better than me, and she had to sit with Tara's dead body for god knows how long. Plus, in season 7.. her plan was to die, come back as a vampire and bite her sister. And so...don't let Dawn die... cause...cause... i cried, and i cried while my room mate was in the room, and that's extremely awkward to explain to someone, that you're crying because a fictional character from a tv show died in a fanfic you were reading.

I love the Fluffy dynamic, cause it's also, subtle, and Faith is very human. A lot of fic just has her as all bravado and confidence, and that is not Faith. It never was, Faith is good as commanding her bravado and confidence, but when it's all laid out, those are just tools to mask herself with.

Um...I should have taken notes. Oh, and It Is Not Conducive To Read FanFic Instead Of Going To Class...but it's fun anyways.

Great story. Please don't not have a sequal. Cause...Dawn...and and Fluffy! and I wanna see Kyra do something extremely cooler than she's already done.

I bring my feedback to a close.

Rejoice!
-Dani

[CrazyTaraWitch]

wow, i love this story even more the second time! this story is just fabulous(as is everything you write, down to the hilarious disclaimers).
i love the way you depicted everyone, especially Faith. you wrote these characters in a perfect blend between the way they were on the show, they way they [i]should[/i] have been on the show, and the way i imagine them to be as they go through life and continue to grow up, all portrayed in a way that makes them so much more real. --and then adding kyra into the mix! that little girl is adorable, and i can't wait to 'see' the young woman she becomes in your next story.

In addition to the personality of the characters, i absolutely [i]love[/i] the dialogue(both internal and external) in this story. there were so many quotes in this story that i loved...too many to list, but i'll list a few anyway:

~Willow watched Buffy absorb this news. Her face radiated both disbelief and hurt.[i] Everybody but her gets to be close to the person she loves.[/i] ~ the pain in this is palpable; it feels so real and so raw and so human. everything you write is like that: true and right and so very, very real.

~Dawn came and stood next to Tara. "Look at the silly grown-ups," she murmured. "Look at the big bad demon fighters acting developmentally delayed."~ i love the humor you show amidst such angst and madness; it truly is the only way they know how to get through life, and that makes so much sense to me; the more serious life is, the less seriously you can take it.

~"Giles kissed some COW ass," she answered, nodding approvingly at the Watcher~this just made me laugh. the acronym is hilarious, plus i love how you have willow translating from intelligent British to not-so-bright American

~"I think our minds are like clay tablets. You can always make marks on them, but in the early years--the clay's really damp and the stuff that gets written on it then...that stuff gets imprinted really deep. Doesn't mean that's all we are, but it takes energy to make new lines on it." ~this is just so profound and feels totally...[i]right[/i]. it makes sense to me, and completely fits with my own experiences.

~She's like a frightened woodland creature. You can hold your hand out with some food, and invite her to come to you, but don't go crashing into the forest to chase her. You couldn't catch her, and you wouldn't want to.
~ this is so exactly how i see Faith, beautifully wild and utterly untamable. the truely amazing thing that you capture here, is that she isn't untouchable, because she's grown-up enough let people in, and that i felt was the worst thing about faith on the show: no matter how mature she became, they never showed her letting anyone truly into her life. she let angel see who she was, but it seemed to me that it was only because she was safe with him; they'd never been friends, so she still wasn't really letting him in, even when she let him see who she really was; but in this story, Faith let the only people that had ever meant [i]anything[/i] to her, atleast since she was a kid, see the real her.


all in all, this story was simply wonderful; i hope the sequel comes soon!

[Jenara]

*chuckle* While not as eloquent as many of the other kittens on here I totally agree. The way you wrote the characters made them seem 10 times more realistic than the "real" show portrayed them. In my mind as I was reading all three stories I kept thinking to myself "yeah... I can see Willow reacting that way" or "wow.. Buffy is a human being after all!" I could connect with the characters, root for Faith, sympathize with Xander's feelings of inadequacy, Dawn's sometimes wacky teenage behavior. *grin* That coupled with the fact that you never once threatened to kill Tara makes it a most enjoyable and thought provoking read. I sincerely hope the sequel isn't too long in coming as I really want to know what happens next.

[Thianne]

I'll be sure to post real feedback really soon, i promise. but i loved it. i want another one. soon. please

[AntigoneUnbound]

Kittens Rock; Kittens Roll. Kittens Warm My Very Soul.

Hello all. I noticed that I've received some wonderful feedback to this story and I apologize for not responding to it sooner. I so appreciate folks taking the time to read this, and stay with it through some pretty dark times.

WillowRTaraM1: Wow...What amazing feedback! I'm glad you waited, b/c the compilation of your ideas is just incredible.

I think of a lot of Kittens can see our girls as parents; witness the number of fics to that effect. Not only do they both have an abundance of love to give as individuals, but they would complement each other really well insofar as inclinations, gifts/talents to pass on, and strengths are concerned. Kyra was a lot of fun to write, though as someone who isn't a parent I had to remember to feed her and she was indeed the most low-maintenance baby in the history of the species.

Ah, choice...so essential, I think. It would set up an entirely different dynamic if Kyra were simply ordered to fight. Now she has an option but in some ways that makes it tougher. It's not a matter of protecting her against some supreme dictate; she can walk away if she wants. Do they encourage that? Would that be hypocrisy? You're right, of course--it's highly unlikely that she'll turn away from such a destiny. (Though if Faith were teaching me gardening, I'd have the best crop in the US.)

I absolutely agree with you re: the mind as its own terror. A part of that idea came from watching a good friend battle a pretty severe mental illness. At one point, he commented, "Do you know what it's like, not to know whether what you're seeing is actually real?" I couldn't--and the thought terrified me. If it's external in nature--bring it on. But if I can't trust myself to accurately perceive the external? Beyond horrifying.

The relationships--yes, they're the key to this story. I loved your comment about Anya and her vulnerability. Like you, I think she absolutely knows that she's "off" (or perceived to be) a lot of the time, and she does struggle with that. One of the thing I originally loved about BtVS is the wealth of opportunities to explore relational dynamics b/c pretty much everyone was distinct and appealing. Then he fucked them over. Thanks, Joss!

Wow--a possible convert to Buffy and Faith! I know that folks tend to fall into very distinct camps on that front; there's little in the way of "Doesn't really matter." I had no desire to write them falling into some intense deal right off the bat. And to be honest, I'm still not entirely committed to pairing them up in the sequel. But I think at a very basic level, these two incredibly powerful women spark intense energy between them and whatever form that takes, it's fascinating to write.

Thank you so much for your incredibly kind and supportive feedback. You obviously took a lot of time to put down your thoughts, and I appreciate it. Leave fb whenever you want; it's worth the wait! Take care, and here's hoping life is looking good to you.

President Dani: And more incredible stuff...I'm blushing, which you can't see but which is, trust me, a kind of rose/crimson affair. I only wish you hadn't been so linear. Really, Dani--gimme a glimpse into your inner world! Heh...

It's fun to be able to write in all the various references, as you mentioned, b/c we have so much latitude to do so and b/c it lets me make fun of that Supreme Wanker on High, Mr. Joss "I seem to have over-estimated my popularity" Whedon. And I, too, have suffered the deadly Baby Echo Effect, and like you, with something far worse than "hell." Oh yeah...

The Faith/Kyra connection was something I wanted to establish from the beginning. FIrst of all, it's critical for what's going to happen, and secondly, I knew it would make Buffy and Willow just bat-shit crazy. Here's this Bad Girl, I mean, really, really bad, we must protect ourselves and society from her and oh God, she's...she's cooing at the baby. And the baby loves her. Uh-oh...Faith is just a treat to write; she truly is. The Buffy/Faith relatioship is also a treat b/c regardless of whether it's ever romantic or not, these two just have some kind of spark and it's intense and challenging to write it.

Thank you so much, Future President, and may I ask that you assume office ASAP b/c--and you've probably noticed this--we're going straight to Hades in a container not terribly well suited for extreme temperatures.

CrazyWitchTara: Better the second time? It's like chili that way, y'know? Or perhaps I'm just hungry. Anyway, I loved your observations.

Writing these characters well--doing right by the people they were conceived to be--is so important to me. I really appreciate your affirmation on that front. As I've said elsewhere, I'll stick with pretty much any story if I care about the characters and if they ring true to me. And thank you so much for the selection of quotes! I love writing dialogue, and it's great to know that it hits a good chord! The clay tablet piece is actually something I came up with in my work as a therapist, when folks are asking why they still have problems with stuff that happened when they were young. It validates how that could happen, but also gives hope that there can be new writing. (Gotta love it when different life realms inform each other!)

I loved your point about Faith: she does give off the "Stay away" vibe and yet--she can't stand how lonely she is. I agree that they could have used her so much better on the show. I could see the connection b/w her and Angel (heaven knows Joss pounded it home enough times) but what I wanted to see was how she might have connected with other people--not just Buffy, but certainly that relationship did fascinate me.

Thank you again for taking the time to write such thoughtful, astute feedback. You really get what I'm trying to do with these folks, and that's very heartening to read. Take care, and I hope things are going well for you.

Jenara: First of all--welcome to the board! I hope you're enjoying your stroll through the land of the Kittens. (We're incredibly cute, so long as someone rubs our bellies.) I thought you were perfectly eloquent: captured what you liked and how you reacted! I appreciate the good thoughts, esp. where character is concerned. Thanks for sitting with my stories and taking the time to let me know about it! Take care.

Thianne: (Didn't know if Vale was your name or not...) Thanks for the good thoughts! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you like where I take the next installment. Take care.

Ah, Kittens...I smile as I consider thee...
Mary

[Thianne]

yeah sweetie, Vale is my name

[barnabasvamp]

Mary...Long time no talk to! Of course this installment was wonderful, and it ended perfectly.

Now......I suppose it's a bit too soon to start begging for the next installment??

Let me remind you, I only beg for a few things anymore these days!

BV

[cammy]

anyone know if there is a sequal to this story

[cammy]

any news on an continuing of the story?

[edob]

just finisded this, loved it...

[Sarah]

Loved this and all of your other fics. I loved every minute reading this. Thanks for writing this. Have a Happy New Year.

[Foomatic]

Hi Mary!

Don't know if you still come around these parts, but I just wanted to comment again on this story. I decided to re-read it again because I now have a baby of my own, and yours was one of the few fics with Willow and Tara as parents that I enjoyed.

This one is probably my most favorite fic, simply because it stays so true to the characters, to the humor, to everything we loved about watching BTVS. The snark in your dialogue is so spot on, and I can't count how many times I've laughed out loud. Seriously, liked, guffawed. From Anya to Faith, you've got their voices down pat.

Also, plot wise? So awesome. Hands down the best Big Bad ever written. Everything was so well thought out and unpredictable, and I loved how the ending was not neat or tidy or convenient. I loved the themes of sacrifice and of doing "the right thing". Your fic had so much more depth than a lot of the original storylines from the show.

So yeah, the characters battle demons, vamps, and try to stop apocalypses, but you hit the realism hard when you touched on their feelings, their fears and their emotions as they faced a seemingly impossible foe. You handled each character true to form; very few authors can do that.

I loved your depiction of Faith in this fic. She's always been this larger than life character full of swagger and pride, and I enjoyed seeing a more fully developed Faith, with more dimensions than just her tough gal exterior. You made all the Scoobies more human, but Faith most of all.

Being a parent now, I can relate to Willow and Tara in this fic. I'm so hyper aware of everything I do now because of that fear that something might take me away from my child, or vice versa. So much of my attitude and outlook on life has changed since Madison was born, and it was great to see some of it paralleled in your fic.

Anyways, I'll end my fangirly-ness here. I hope someday we'll see a fourth part in your series, as many of us are wondering what will happen with Dawn. This story, along with "On Second Thought" and "Gods Served and Abandoned" are gifts that keep on giving! Hope this finds you well. Thank you again!

[willowlily]

WOW. awesome. amazing. great. i felt like this story took me forever to read but it was SO worth it. I know that this story will be one that i read again and again. i can't wait to read some more of your work. once again LOVED IT. I hope you are still writing.

[Foomatic]

New to the archive. You can leave feedback!

[KnightlyLove]

omgosh can't describe the awesomeness
loved!!!
not much point in commenting on specifics, but... wow.
anywho is there a sequel? please?????!?!?!
DAWNIE!

[Azirahael]

I really enjoyed this.
right up until that last chapter.

I was really hoping for a last minute rescue/spell to find dawn,
and a chance for Buffy and Faith to kiss

I'm a sad kitty.

Nevertheless, it was well written and well characterized,
and had a very though-provoking badguy, you could feel the scoobies frustration at not having anything to hunt/stake.

Still sad though, poor Buffy, poor Dawnie. Hell poor Faith.
is it me or does this feel 1 chapter too short?

[cammy]

luved it hope someday itll get a sequal