- Author: Justin
- Email address: justin@techie.com
- Summary: This is an alternate version of S6 in which the scoobies don't resurrect Buffy and instead have Faith released from prison.
- Feedback: Any comments or constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated.
- Distribution: Anyone can take it, just let me know.
- Spoilers: Up to and including 'The Gift'
- Rating: R
- Pairing: W/T, X/A
- Disclaimer: Willow And Tara and most of the other characters in this story belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Three cheers for creating two such wonderful characters. Three jeers for the way you treated them.
- Notes: Many thanks to my beta TexanZeppo.
Chapter 1 - In which our heroines make an important discovery.
Paula Morgan sighed as she closed the book that she had been reading and put it back on the shelf. She was a middle aged woman with short light brown hair and she was wearing a light grey trouser suit. She would have been the spitting image of a teacher or librarian were it not for the silver pentacal pinned to the right breast of her jacket. Starting her own coven had seemed like such a good idea at the time, after all she had been a member of Bettie's coven for ten years and she knew everything, or at least she had thought that she did. It had turned out to be a lot more responsibility than she had thought it would be. She had soon found herself over her head. So when one of the girls in the coven had told her about this place, a giant library of mystical texts, she had been overjoyed. Now though she was just feeling inadequate again. There were so many books, many of which were completely over her head, that she didn't know where to start. She was also a little overwhelmed by how many people there were here. From what she had heard she guessed that a lot of them were Yanks, but she had also heard people speaking in French and Russian and a few in languages that she didn't recognise.
There was a tugging at Paula's leg. She turned to see a young girl, whose blonde hair was pulled into bunches and who was wearing a flowery white dress.
"Mum, how long are we going to be?"
Paula sighed again. She'd known that Debra would get bored here but she hadn't been able to find anyone to look after her. "Just a little longer." Paula grabbed another book and began leafing through it. Debra got a small ball out of her pocket and began bouncing it against the floor as she paced back and forth. "Be careful dear." Paula said absently. She hadn't met the two owners of this place but from what she had overheard during her short time here, they sounded rather scary. So she didn't want to get into their bad books by Debra breaking something.
***
Bounce, bounce.
Debra didn't like it here. It was full of boring books and even more boring people.
Bounce, bounce.
She glanced at her mother wondering how long she would be. Was she going to read all the books here because there had to be at least a gazillion, maybe even two.
Bounce, bou-
"Oops!" Debra had reached to catch the ball and had instead knocked it bouncing down the library.
"What did I just say?" Paula asked, scowling.
"I'll get it." Debra set off running after the errant ball. As she ran down the library some of the people stopped reading to make vain attempts to catch the ball while others just ignored her. The ball left the main part of the library and entered the small cafeteria at one end. Hitting the hard floor it bounced up in the air, heading straight for the head of a young man who was sitting staring longingly at the empty glass that he was holding. Debra winced, expecting the ball to hit him, but, at the last moment, the man lifted his hand and caught it. The young man, who was wearing a rather garish looking shirt under a brown jacket and a small hat, turned to throw the ball back to Debra, giving her a wink. Debra giggled then ran off back to her mother.
Whistler put his glass down and leant back in his seat. He was sitting at one of a group of small round tables. Most of the other tables were occupied by people who were either talking quietly or reading. A tall young woman approached and placed another drink next to him. "Thank you." Whistler said as he picked it up and took a sip. The young woman gave him a lop sided smile and it occurred to Whistler that while she looked a lot like a mother she had picked up a lot of grandmothers' mannerisms. "So where were we?"
"We were talking about fate." The young woman, Jennifer, answered impatiently. She had asked him about how her grandmothers had come to own this place and apparently didn't see how that had lead to a long drawn out discussion about fate.
"Of course. There's no such thing, you know." Whistler said with a smile.
"So we're in complete control of our own destinies?" She seemed to be growing frustrated at how long it was taking for him to get to answer her question. He knew that he did sometimes take the long route to reaching the point of a conversation, but that did have the benefit that it meant the other person would be buying him drinks for longer.
"Yes. Ours and everyone else's. It's all about choices. Every choice we make, every fork in the road that we come to, rebuilds the future anew in a different form." He paused to take another drink, then studied his companion a moment, seeing that he had her full attention he went on, "Of course sometimes the smallest of choices can have a profound effect. We can rewrite the story of our lives with a decision that seems to be insignificant. Such as whether or not to take a shortcut to meet our friends."
***
Willow glanced at her watch and cursed inwardly. She was going to be late. She and Tara had been just about to leave for a meeting to discuss the spate of unexplained attacks that had been happening recently when Willow had realised that one of the textbooks that she would need the next day was missing. They'd spent several frantic minutes looking for the book but without any luck. Finally Willow had told Tara to go on ahead and that she would catch up. Eventually after opening every bag and going through every drawer in the house Willow decided to look under the bed. There was no way that it was there but she decided to look anyway, just to put her mind at ease. No sooner had she reached under the bed than her had had rested on a large, hardback book. Pulling the book out Willow guessed that she must have dropped it and then kicked it under the bed. She just didn't know how it had been so long before she had looked for it. Willow knew that she had been distracted recently, what with organising their patrols and helping look after the house and Dawn, but that wasn't really an excuse. Willow also knew that being a little late wouldn't make any difference in the great scheme of things yet there was something about the others starting to research without her that was irksome.
Willow stopped as she passed a narrow alley. It was a shortcut to the Magic Box that would get her there earlier. The problem was that sometimes the way was blocked off. After dithering for a few moments Willow decided not to risk it. After taking a few steps she remembered that the alley was almost never blocked on a Thursday so, turning back, she started down it. Willow was just starting to think that she wouldn't be too late when she came to a small van backed up into the alley.
"Damn." Willow muttered as she turned and retraced her steps. All the way telling herself that being late wouldn't matter to anyone.
***
Willow pushed into the magic box, slightly out of breath. A quick look round told her that her worries had been right and that everyone had started without her. While Willow knew that it was silly to expect everyone to wait for her before starting, she found that a part of her did expect just that.
Xander, Anya and Tara were sitting round the table with a large pile of books in between them. Xander and Anya were sitting next to each other at one end of the table, while Tara sat at the other end looking lonely on her own. Giles was standing a short distance away, an open book in one hand and his glasses in the other. Looking up Tara smiled and gave Willow a small wave.
Willow returned it then asked, "Have I missed much?"
Giles gestured at her with his glasses, "Oh no. We're still just trying to an handle on what's behind these attacks." Putting his glasses back on Giles looked at the book that he was holding then asked, "Does anyone have Thomson's Bestiary?" At the chorus of nos, he said to himself , "Oh... Well, I must have left it on the shelf."
Willow had just been going to join Tara when she Changed course she said, "I'll get it." Willow browsed the shelves for a few seconds before finding the book in question and going to pull it out. Willow had just pulled it out a little way when she stopped, thought a moment, and pushed it back in again. Willow started to pull the book out again, wondering why this simple action triggered such strong memories. Not really memories as such, but strong feelings. Feelings of pain, despair and defeat. Willow tried putting the book back and pulling it out again, but it didn't give her any clues as to what she was remembering. Willow was about to try again when it occurred to her that she probably looked pretty silly. Getting the book from the shelf, Willow went to hand it to Giles before going to sit next to Tara.
Tara gave Willow a concerned look before asking, "Is something wrong? You seemed... confused for a moment."
Willow took Tara's hand and answered, "No, I just had sorta had deja vue-ish moment."
"Will, you know what that means?" Xander asked, a large smirk on his face.
Willow knew that she'd probably regret it but still she asked, "What?"
"That there's a glitch in the Matrix."
Anya slapped Xander's arm, "You're not still going on about that silly movie are you?"
"Hey!" Xander replied indignantly, lightly rubbing his arm.
Willow ignored all this. She had just remembered why getting the book had seemed so strange. She had seen Buffy do it several times when she had been walking in Buffy's mind. Part of her wished that she had never done it. That they had left Buffy like that and gone to deal with Glory alone. She knew this was silly and that they couldn't have stopped Glory without Buffy's help, but that stop her seeing Buffy, looking so broken and small - atop the pile of rubble, every time that she closed her eyes. Nor did it stop her from feeling that she was responsible for Buffy's death. As Willow remembered what she had seen in Buffy's mind she remembered what Buffy's Spirit guide had said, "Death is your gift." At the time neither of them had understood it but now it seemed obvious. Death had been Buffy's gift to Dawn, and to the world. After all she had saved both of them when she died. Realising that this wasn't helping find the attacker Willow put it out of her mind, but now that she had remembered what had happened, a part of her couldn't help going over it.
***
The meeting went on for a couple of hours without much progress being made. Willow and Tara were finally leaving when Willow stopped as a thought occurred to her: She had thought that the spirit guide had meant that death was Buffy's gift to the world, but what if it was the world's gift to Buffy? Shaken by this thought, Willow continued out.
***
Dawn was sitting in the living room of her home, trying to get her homework done. She didn't see why she should have to do homework. She was, after all, mourning the loss of her sister. Of course her teachers didn't know this but they ought to be more sensitive to her needs. Dawn glanced up to see that Spike was fidgeting with a pack of cigarettes. "You don't have to stay."
"Of course I do. I promised, didn't I?" Spike went back to the cigarettes, as if this closed the matter.
"But I should be safe now. I mean I'm not the key any more, or at least I don't fit any locks so there's..."
"Did Giles tell you that?"
"No but it seems logical." Dawn wondered why she had never spoken to Giles about what the failed attempt at opening the portal meant. Perhaps because she had been worried he wouldn't tell her or, even worse, that he would.
"Logical, right. Well listen good Nibblet, there's a lot of very nasty creatures out there who'd like to get their hands on you, key or no. If only to pay you back for stopping Glory."
Dawn nodded, she still didn't see why she needed to be watched like this, but she couldn't be bothered to argue about it any more. Argueing with Spike was often a waste of time anyway. Coughing a little from Spike's cigarette smoke, Dawn turned back to her homework.
***
Willow and Tara moved round the bedroom, both getting ready for bed. Tara was explaining how Dawn had complained about Spike smoking when he looked after her, while she rubbed some skin lotion into her arms. "... So I said I'd tell Spike to stop it."
"Uh-huh." Willow said in a far away tone. She was slowly brushing her hair, her nose wrinkled in annoyance.
Tara glanced at Willow a moment. She had the feeling that Willow wasn't listening to her and seeing Willow's expression confirmed this fact. A slight, mischievous smile formed on Tara's face as she said, "Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant and I'm moving to Antarctica to study penguins."
"That's nice." Willow's brush froze in midair. "You what? I mean, when, how, who?" Willow stopped again and, blushing, she admitted, "Okay, so I've been distracto girl lately. It's just, you know me and my busy brain. Always thinking, thinking, thinking."
Tara motioned for Willow to join her. Willow got up and moved to sit next to her. Putting her arms round Willow's shoulders, Tara said, "Anything that you want to share? I mean you don't have to, but it might help."
Willow seemed to consider this a moment then said, slowly, "I've been thinking about Buffy, where she is. We don't really know, do we?"
Willow rested her head on Tara's shoulder and Tara began to stroke her hair as she said, "But you... I mean we thought that she was trapped in a hell dimension."
"But we don't know for certain do we?"
"I, um..." Tara stopped, not sure she could tell Willow about the doubts she'd been having. About how she probably wouldn't have gone through with the spell if Willow hadn't been so certain that it was the right thing to do.
Willow turned and gazed into Tara's eyes a moment. Then, as if understanding what Tara was thinking, she said, "You didn't want to resurrect Buffy did you?"
"Well I wasn't sure that it was right, but you seemed so certain." Tara hesitated a moment, "Besides I miss Buffy."
"I do too." Willow frowned as something occurred to her, "If I'm honest then that is the main reason for wanting to bring Buffy back. But is it the right reason?"
"I don't know." Tara answered honestly. She kissed Willow softly, "Maybe we should discuss it with the others?"
Willow nodded, "Okay."
They both moved to get into bed. Tara slipped into the bed behind Willow and wrapped her arms round her waist, pulling her close. As Tara rested her head behind Willow's she had an idea. "We could try a seance."
"A what?"
"A seance, to talk to Buffy."
Willow rolled over so she could look at Tara then said, "I didn't think that they normally worked."
"Well no, because the person doing it isn't..."
"A witch?" Willow guessed.
"Isn't really trying. It's just a con."
"So we'll be able to talk to Buffy?"
"We should be able to. I mean I think so." Tara hedged her words, not wanting to get Willow's hopes up.
"Okay then, that's a good idea. When should we do it?"
"Tomorrow is the dark of the moon, so then would be best."
"Okay then tomorrow it is." Willow rolled back over and Tara again snuggled up close behind her.
***
Willow lay very still, thinking about the conversation. At first she was excited about the seance but then she became worried, what if Buffy did tell them she was in heaven? Then they'd have no justification for the resurrection. Willow missed Buffy and she found it very hard to imagine going on without her being there. She immediately berated herself for being selfish. After having been in Buffy's head she knew how much pressure having to carry the weight of the world had caused Buffy. If anything having to carry on the patrolling had underlined this fact to her. And so far they hadn't had to deal with any apocalypses. Willow realised that it was wrong of her to deny Buffy any chance that she might have to find peace. Still confused by all these differing emotions Willow sank into a disturbed sleep.
***
When Willow and Tara got back from their classes they pulled the curtains in the dining room tightly shut then started to set the spell up. They put a white cloth on the table then put a ring of candles around it with a bowl in the middle. Willow lit all the candles while Tara filled the bowl with water, then poured a few drops of black ink into it. They both sat down at opposite ends of the table.
"So what do we do?" Willow asked, slightly nervous.
"We need to look into the black mirror and try to think about Buffy, try to picture her as clearly as possible. If you have any strong memories of her then try to think of those."
Willow nodded as she stared into the bowl and tried to form a picture of Buffy's face in her mind. She was horrified to find that she couldn't. It had only been a few months since Buffy had died and she had been patrolling with the Buffy-bot most nights, but she just couldn't do it. Worse still Willow couldn't concentrate on any memories of her time with Buffy. Every time a memory started to form and Willow tried to concentrate on it, it would escape her grasp.
After several minutes of trying Willow opened her eyes and said, "I don't think..." She stopped as a light began to form around Tara. Tara suddenly threw her head back and a gasp escaped her lips. "Tara?"
Tara lowered her head to gaze at Willow. She noticed that Tara's eyes were a slightly different colour. "Hey Will." Tara said cheerfully in a voice that was totally wrong.
"Buffy?" Willow was surprised that it was working. Not only had she not been able to form a coherent picture of Buffy but she hadn't felt any energy go into the spell. That meant that Tara had supplied all the energy for the spell, which meant that she was a lot more powerful than Willow suspected. Willow wondered why Tara had always let her believe that she was the stronger of the two.
"Who else?"
"Um, suddenly I'm not sure what to say. I mean I have so much to ask but I don't know where to start and I really think I should have written notes because my mind has suddenly gone blank." Willow couldn't believe this. She had been rehearsing what to say to Buffy ever since Tara had come up with the idea. Now that she was actually faced with her best friend she had suddenly turned into a babbling idiot.
"Will, it's okay, I know why you called. You want to know where I am." Willow just nodded. "Well don't worry about me, I don't know exactly where I am but I'm somewhere good, somewhere peaceful. It really is beautiful here"
"So You're happy?" Willow realised this was the most important thing. Was Buffy happy where she was, or did she want to return.
Tara, or more accurately Buffy, laughed, "Yes. Death was my gift. There is only one thing ruining it all for me." Buffy sobered a moment, "I know that you're having trouble."
"We're trying but it's so hard. I don't know how long we can keep going."
Buffy nodded, "You've done really well but you need help. You need a slayer."
"What do... Oh." Willow suddenly understood what Buffy was saying. "I'm not sure that that's going to go down well."
"I know but she really has changed."
Willow couldn't believe what she was hearing. After all this was the president of the Faith is evil and she'll never change club talking. "You didn't think that before."
"Well dying has helped me put things in perspective. Listen Will I can't stay long."
"I miss you so much."
"I would say that I miss you, but I don't. Because in a way, I'm still with you, I'll always be with you all." With that Tara slumped forwards.
Willow raced round to her, "Tara, Tara."
Tara looked up, a bleary expression on her face,"Sorry."
"Why sorry?"
Tara looked about uncertainly, "I think I must... I guess that I dozed off. I'm so sorry, I didn't realise how tired I was." Willow saw her crunch her brow in confusion, obviously still not sure what had happened.
Willow explained, "But the spell worked. I spoke to Buffy." Despite how happy she was, Willow was also growing very confused about what had happened. If Tara hadn't been responsible for the spell working then the only explanation was that it had to be some third party.
"It did? You did?"
Willow was starting to grow worried about who it had been who had helped the spell work when it occurred to her that it might well have been Buffy, wanting to reassure them. Willow smiled, happy that the panic was over. "Yes."
***
Tara didn't ask how the conversation had gone. She didn't have to. Willow's expression told her everything.
***
Tara was starting to get distracted. She was trying to do some of the course reading before the others arrived but this was made difficult by Willow pacing back and forth in front of her.
She was about to say something when Willow stopped at the window and, pulling the curtain back, she glanced out the window nervously. "They should be here any moment."
Tara looked up from her work, "Do you really think that they'll take it badly?"
"Well they'll be disappointed that we're not going ahead with the resurrection. Especially Xander."
Tara got up and went over to join Willow. Slowly rubbing her arm she said, "But won't he be happy that she's somewhere nice?"
"Oh yes, I'm sure he will. That's not the part that I'm worried about though."
"Faith." Tara guessed. "I guess it's going to be hard to sell them that idea."
"Yeah, mostly because I'm not convinced myself. I want to believe that Faith has changed but I have to say that I'm still worried." From Willow's worried expression Tara guessed she was thinking about the time she had been kidnapped by Mayor Wilkins. Shortly after Buffy and Faith had swapped bodies Willow had explained how Faith had threatened her and how, looking in Faith's eyes, she had been convinced that she was going to die.
"I think that we ought to give Faith a chance, but that doesn't mean that we have to trust her. At least not right away." Tara moved behind Willow and circled her arms round Willows waist. "Whatever happens, we're going to get through it."
Willow nodded, then looking back out the window, "They're here."
***
A man walked quickly across a sports field. He was late for a date with his girlfriend and had taken a short cut. He stopped a moment, when he was certain that he could hear something digging it's way up the ground towards him. Just as he started moving again, the ground in front of him opened up and something jumped out at him. He had just enough time to scream before it grabbed him.
I understand, you should be with the person you l-love
I am
,
I 
the first part awhile back and ment to post but my computer 
and I must of forgot. 
I'm sorry. I love the concept. I can't wait to see what is going to happen. I love the idea of 
and 
adopting Dawn. Faith is going to be the slayer now? 
Can't wait to see how this goes. Update soon, please? 
go me 
really wanted Buffy working at the school he should have made her the grounds keeper. If only so that people could call her grounds keeper Buffy.