A/N: Hey! I've decided to post my first non-songfic here.
This is one of a series of 'What if" fics I made after the annoying end of Season 6 to make myself (and others) feel better. Hopefully it works as well for you guys as it did for me.
As for the story, there’s actually a funny story (kind of) as to how I came up with this. In simple phrasing, I woke up one morning with fan fictions on the mind, and just starting to think about how Buffy might have approached the problems in mid-season 6, had she decided to do something about it. It turned into all out mind-babble for the next 20 minutes (scary!), mainly thinking about what Buffy might say to the two of them. Of course, I forgot to write it down later on, and I lost most of what I thought up, but I remembered the idea. So, here it is.
So you’re not confused, this will start immediately after ‘Tabula Rasa’, so if you watch up to that episode, you shouldn’t be too lost. Also, nothing in ‘Smashed’ will happen, so if you’ve seen that episode, try to forget it while reading this. As for warnings, there is an extreme angst warning for this chapter, but as I say in my profile, 'all the scoobies will remain alive and human (or, in the case of Angel, as alive and human as possible) in all my stories, even if they change during them in one way or another. The fun part will be getting them there and back.'
Just to warn you, some of the ideas for this weren't very thoroughly thought out, so it might turn out a little bland. However, it should still satisfy the die-hard W/T fan. :) Oh, and speaking of which, there will be (VERY) slight B/S in this fic, but they don’t end up together. Plus, it starts in Buffy’s POV, and I’ve never been good at getting into her mind, so it might push her a little out of character a little. The POV will still be like in my first few stories, as in it will still be 3rd person, but the third person is seeing through a character’s eyes and mind (I never like writing it like I’m actually the character…something immoral about that…).
Well, on to the fic! (Finally!)
Disclaimer: I don't think Joss et al. is dumb enough to waste his time on some lowly creature having fun with his world that he so obviously messed up, so I'm not going to say anything to save me from that. However, because I respect the owners of the site, I'd just like to mention that I got some of my information for this story, from http://www.buffyworld.com/. Thank you guys for your wonderful transcripts, even if the fight descriptions suck! :) For your happiness, there will be absolutely NO songs displayed in this story. I’ll now cover my ears while the whole world shouts “Halleluiah!”
As always, a quick legend:
Thoughts appear like this (Buffy’s at the start, Willow and Tara in later parts)
Chapter 1: Breakfast Meetings
By: David Armstrong AKA Leafsdude
Walking into her house at 4:00 am, Buffy Summers was feeling dirty. After heading out to do her daily (or nightly,
as she always corrected herself) patrol, and ended up running into a lustful Spike. Unable to control herself,
Buffy ended up engaging in the smoochies for about an hour, somehow still managing to keep all her clothes on.
After she had run about 500 miles away, or at least that was how far away Buffy hoped she was, she ended up staking
a pair of vampires in frustration, and then walked home.
Now, as she climbed the stairs that always seemed to creak just the wrong way, Buffy’s thoughts caused her to not
notice a couple of things: First off, it was dead quiet in the house. Add to that the fact that Buffy didn’t
notice Dawn downstairs, seemingly fallen asleep on the couch, with the TV still on, and it was clear that she was
a little too caught up in her own thoughts.
Sliding into bed, Buffy decided to try and get what normally ended up being about an hour of half-sleep, and
closed her eyes. Bad idea! She exclaimed, her eyes shooting open. All she saw was Spike, and she sure didn’t
want to be looking at that while she drifted off.
It’s quiet in here, Buffy finally realized, slowly sitting up, and heading to the bathroom to get a drink. As she
walked back with the full cup of water, she now also noticed the TV on downstairs.
Heading to investigate, she noticed Dawn lying on the couch, asleep while the Cartoon Network played The Roadrunner
Show. Walking over to turn off the TV, Buffy stole a glance at Dawn, and noticed that she looked rather upset.
Perhaps a nightmare.
Picking up Dawn, Buffy carried her to her bed, hoping that she would wake her up accidentally. She could never
wake anyone up purposely.
With Dawn now asleep in her bed, Buffy, finishing up her drink, walked back into her room, and as her head hit the
pillow, she fell into her half-sleep with disturbing images of Spike.
When Buffy noticed the clock beside her bed flashing ‘10:00am’ that morning, she woke with a jump, and ran towards
the bathroom to freshen up for the day. Stopping on a dime before the stairs, her super smelling picked up a
familiar sent from the kitchen.
Pancakes! Buffy thought, now running down the stairs.
As she entered the room, there were a few other surprises waiting for her. Probably the biggest surprise was the
lack of Willow in the room. Dismissing it, Buffy assumed she was somewhere else in the house, and continued
observing the pair of people in the room.
“Hey, guys,” Buffy announced her presence.
“Morning, Buffy,” Tara replied.
Immediately, Buffy noticed something was wrong in Tara’s voice. However, she dismissed it. Probably just tired
like the lot of us.
Deciding that her normal coffee would be a good start to the day, Buffy walked around a seemingly unhappy Dawn,
and picked up a mug. After filling the cup, and putting in her normal 4 sugars, she headed off towards the
living room to sit.
As Buffy finished her drink, she went back to her earlier observation. No Willow, she thought lamely.
Walking back into the kitchen, she decided to take what she believed was the best course of action. “Where’s
Willow?” She asked simply. Maybe I should ask ‘Where’s Waldo?’, while I’m at it.
Immediately she noticed Tara become uncomfortable, and Dawn looked upset. Upon the looks, Buffy assumed the
worst. Well, what she thought at the moment was the worst. Before she could start her worried tantrum, though,
Dawn finally spoke up.
“She’s at the university,” she said, bitterly.
This confused Buffy. Tara and Willow never go without each other. “I don’t get it,” she spoke up, hoping
someone would explain it to her before her head burst.
Dawn looked up at Buffy again, before pointing towards the living room. “I’ll be there in a second,” she
explained.
Still confused, Buffy obeyed, and sat back down. She could faintly hear the conversation in the kitchen, and
despite trying to ignore it, she couldn’t help but try to decipher it.
“I won’t tell her if you don’t want me to.” That was Dawn.
“She deserves to know,” came the half-hearted reply.
“Why? She comes in at four o’clock on one of the worst nights ever, sleeps in ‘til ten, and then has the nerve
to ask...” Dawn was cut off.
“She deserves to know,” Tara said forcefully. The silence in the next couple of seconds seemed eternal. Sure,
they had heard Tara angry before, but never forceful. I wonder what is up, thought Buffy, somehow still clueless.
“I’ll tell her,” Dawn finally recovered. Buffy imagined the nod by Tara, and braced herself for the news. It
can’t be good.
Dawn walked into the room with a couple plates of pancakes, and sat down next to Buffy. Looking at her curiously,
Buffy couldn’t help but blurt out, “What’s up?”
“Well, if you’re not careful, your feet might be soon, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Dawn replied, the
bitterness evident. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “What happened to us last night, that was Willow,” she
said.
Still not comprehending, Buffy just stared as Dawn, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, Buffy once
again asked the age old question: “so?”
Huffing, Dawn stood up, and started to pace. “How do I tell my brainless twit of a sister this?” She mumbled
quietly, not realizing that Buffy could still hear her.
“I heard that,” Buffy spoke up.
Spinning toward her, Dawn spoke up again. “Remember when Xander summoned that singing demon? Well, as it turns
out, she put a forget spell on Tara the night before. And not just an ‘opps, didn’t mean to do that,’ spell, more
like a ‘my will is my way,’ spell.”
“No way! Willow did that?” Buffy nearly shouted. She was now a little angry, too. How could she have done that?
Still not understanding it completely, Buffy attempted to get the last piece of the puzzle. “So what’s the story
after that?”
“Well, she casts that spell last night, and,” Dawn’s voice dropped to a whisper at this point. “Tara moved out
last night.”
“What!?” Buffy said, standing up faster than a guy on Viagra. So that’s why it was so quiet last night, Buffy
thought. This proceeded to gross her out, despite the revelation that was just made by Dawn.
“So why is she here?” Buffy asked, confused while trying to think of less-disgusting things.
“I kinda flipped on her last night. She came to explain.” Dawn told her, quietly. “Willow’s gone out for a while.
Tara wants to avoid her for now.”
I did this, Buffy thought. I’ve been ignoring her, didn’t even think about what happened last night. Didn’t even
figure out what she’s been doing until Dawn spelt it out to me.
Quickly, one thought as to the reason for this flashed through Buffy’s mind. SPIKE!
Getting ready to stand up, Buffy realized she was already vertical, and started to walk off to the kitchen.
“She’s gone,” Dawn announced.
“I gotta talk to her,” Buffy replied desperately. “We can’t just sit and watch Willow crumble.”
“She’s already tried everything,” Dawn said, quietly.
“I’m sure there’s something more we can do. I’ve been sitting on the sidelines long enough. I can’t watch my
friends suffer again,” Buffy replied, grabbing her coat, and starting to walk out the door.
“She’ll be at her dorm. Her resolve isn’t big. If Willow were to ask her to come back, I don’t think she’d
refuse,” Dawn revealed. “She thinks that the dorm is the most likely spot she’d go.”
“Thanks,” Buffy said, now getting ready for a long walk to Sunnydale U.
Walking up to the dorm room, Buffy ended up looking at an unnumbered door. Ironically, the only reason she knew
how to get there was because Willow had dragged her there once. She somehow managed to remember where it was,
anyway.
Just like riding a bike, Buffy thought. As she hit the door with three soft taps, she backed up and waited for it
to open. Surprisingly, she heard a voice answer before it opened.
“Who is it?” Came Tara’s slightly strained voice.
“Buffy,” she replied simply.
As the door creaked opened, Tara peaked out, and then opened the door wider, letting the slayer enter. Nodding her
thanks, Buffy sat down on the bed.
“How’re you holding up?” Buffy asked sincerely after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.
“OK. Great even…If I were lying to myself,” Tara replied quietly.
“Do you want to talk?” Buffy offered, not sure if she’d get what she was after. We’ve never been close. The only
time we really talked was when Willow summoned that troll. Could it be that I’ve missed all this for that long?
“I d-don’t know what to say, really,” Tara replied.
“Just say whatever you want,” Buffy urged.
“I...I can’t do this,” Tara said, about ready to crumble. Gaining her resolve, Buffy spoke up, a bit more
forceful then she had meant.
“Yes, you can. We can do this. No matter what she said, Willow wants you to help her. She needs you to help her.
And she needs me to help her, too. I-I don’t want to force anything out of you, but I need to know what I can do,
how I can help.” Her own stubbornness was aiding Buffy now, as she looked at Tara with almost pleading eyes.
“Yes, we can,” came the reply as Tara sat next to Buffy, giving her a hug.
As the slight sobs from Tara subsided, Buffy pulled her back, and waited for her to begin.
About 15 minutes later, Tara had gone through everything, including some of the information Dawn had already
revealed. Listening attentively, Buffy only interrupted when she felt it was absolutely necessary, knowing that
her friend needed to let it all out.
“Th-that’s about all, I think,” Tara finished off.
“Wow,” Buffy spat out. Oh, there’s a smart response!
“Well, I thought more ‘yikes’ and ‘am I doing the right thing?’ but ‘wow’ is also a possible response,” Tara
replied.
Getting up, Buffy headed for the door. Realizing that Tara might interpret the move wrongly, she decided to turn
back and quickly give an explanation.
“I’m going to go find her,” Buffy started, purposely not saying Willow’s name, which she noticed Tara left out
throughout her explanation. “I want to try and reach her. I can’t assume it’s not possible,” Buffy finished, now
with her hand on the doorknob. She knew that Tara would tell her that she had tried everything just as Dawn had,
but Buffy just couldn’t stand and take their word for it.
Opening the door, Buffy began her woman-hunt with one step. Chinese proverbs suck, Buffy thought, hoping that
it wouldn’t take 1000 miles.
After wandering around for what felt like 1000 miles, Buffy ended up at the Magic Box. She had already checked
back in at home, and checked out the old dorm that she and Willow had shared only a year previous.
As she entered the store, she noticed the lack of lights, and, to her relief, the lack of Anya. However, that
relief wore off quickly as she wondered why the door was unlocked if no one was in.
“Hi, Buffy.” The voice startled her, but Buffy knew who it was immediately.
“Spike, I don’t have time for this,” Buffy replied, beginning her search around for any sign of Willow. It took a
little while, but Buffy finally relented, and asked the unwanted company. “Have you seen Willow here?”
“No. Haven’t seen Red in a few days. Give her my regards if you do run into her,” Spike replied in his typical
fashion.
“Thanks,” Buffy said with only a little sincerity as she turned to leave.
“What, no good-bye kiss,” Spike replied, his grin evident in his voice.
“I don’t have time for you, Spike,” Buffy once again responded. “I’ll never have time for you. We’re finished.
I’ve got more important things to do than to dwindle over you.”
Without letting Spike respond, Buffy retreated out of the magic shop and continued her search for Willow, making
sure she stayed in the sun.
Buffy entered her house just before the sun set, defeated. She had checked the Expresso Pump, Bronze, even the
abandoned high school, but still no trace of Willow. Even worse, Buffy had to head out to patrol in a matter of
minutes, and she knew that Spike would pay her a visit, no matter what she said.
She ignored those last thoughts of Spike, and went upstairs to get herself ready for what was likely going to be a
long night. Rounding the corner to her room, Buffy was so caught up in her thoughts, she almost didn’t notice the
figure that bumped into her, and fell with a slight thump onto the floor.
“Willow! Where’ve you been?!” Buffy shouted, agitated.
“And hi to you, too, Buffy. How are you feeling this nice evening,” Willow replied sarcastically while standing
up.
“Well, just off the top of my head, impatient, annoyed and angry. And once again, where’ve you been?” Buffy
retorted.
“Out and about, sulking, you know, the typical,” Willow once again failed to hold in her sarcasm.
Relenting, Buffy forced herself to relax, and tried to compose herself for what was likely going to be a long
chat.
“How about we start fresh with a one word question. Why?”
“Well, it was too quiet in here, and...” Willow was cut off.
“Not that. I mean last night.” Buffy said, eying Willow sharply.
Turning away, Willow’s body language was of a person of frustration, arms flailing and all. “Why does everyone
hate it so much when I try to help people?”
“You don’t help people like that, Will. You talk to people, let them talk about what bothers them so much, lend
them a shoulder to cry on, and let them say things that they wouldn’t tell anyone else. Not by altering their
sense of reality, playing with our minds…” Buffy’s rant was cut short.
“Tara sent you, didn’t she?” Willow said, now eying Buffy dangerously. “And here I was thinking someone finally
loved me...”
Upon this, something in Buffy finally burst. Her earlier jump-off-the-couch speed-record was broken, as she came
face-to-face with Willow.
“When did you become so blind?” Buffy said, with teeth clenched, not sure if her words were decipherable, and not
caring, either. “That girl is worried sick about you, Willow, and frankly so am I. If you’re going to sit in here
and ignore that, then go ahead and do that. But when you realize what you’re doing, don’t come crawling to us,
because all you’ll get was an ‘I told you so’.”
In a huff, Buffy stalked out of the room, grab her coat and a couple of stakes, and headed to the cemetery.
Let Spike show up. I could use an ass to kick.
After pounding a couple of faces, Buffy was starting to settle down. Maybe I was too hard on her. But she’s
running into dangerous territory. I don’t get it all, but the way Tara is right now, it’s something to be worried
about.
Sensing another vampire, Buffy let her frustration set in again, and got ready for another battle. When she saw
the figure in the faint moonlight, she relaxed slightly. “Spike.”
“Hello, Goldilocks. How’s the night treating you so far?” Spike retorted.
“Now that you’re here, it’s a mix between perfect and crappy. However, I’d rather kill the chit chat and just
start pounding you, unless you got a better place to be,” Buffy said forcefully, hoping to get her point across to
the thick-sculled vampire.
“Hey, no violence. Just came for the view,” Spike responded, putting his hands up. “Still in denial?”
“There’s no denial. You’re a soulless vampire, I’m a slayer. If it weren’t for that chip, I’d certainly be staking
you this moment, and you could never have feelings for me. The past few weeks have been me ignoring the world and
trying to cope. I’m done that now.” Buffy spelt out.
“Well, what made you change your mind?” Spike asked, seemingly mostly curious, but perhaps more unbelieving.
“Tara left Willow,” Buffy said quietly.
“Oh, Red’s love lost the fire, huh?” Spike said, mostly unsurprised.
For the second time that night, something in Buffy’s brain snapped, and with her arm to Spike’s neck, she pushed
his back to a wall, and spoke once again though clenched teeth.
“She’s lost nothing. If anything, it’s ‘Red’ who’s lost it. And if it weren’t for you, none of this would have
happened.”
“Hey, soulless chip-brained vampire here. No killing,” Spike responded, hands flailing.
Relenting slightly, Buffy let Spike drop, and watched him straighten his jacket. “If you value the lack of a stake
in your chest at the moment, you’ll walk off. I may not have staked you yet, but I will if you don’t leave us
alone,” Buffy said, turning to walk off.
“You’ll be back, and when you are, I’ll be right here waiting,” Spike retorted. As he noticed that Buffy didn’t
even flinch, he huffed, and turned around to head back to his crypt.
Walking up the steps towards Tara’s dorm, Buffy could still feel the anger flowing through her veins. A good
night’s sleep should help. Of course, I’ll never get that, she thought to herself.
Knocking on the door again, she was again surprised as the voice inside spoke up. “Come in.”
Not one to argue an invitation, Buffy walked in. Well, at least Buffy thought it was a walk.
“I know the feeling,” came the strained voice again.
Turning towards Tara, Buffy became slightly desperate. “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t think I could stand that
place now,” she asked.
Despite welcoming the company, Tara still didn’t know if it was a great idea. “What about Dawn?”
“She’s at a friend’s. She doesn’t think she could be around Willow right now, either,” Buffy replied.
“You mean s-she’s alone r-right now?” Tara replied, seemingly panicking. Buffy somehow managed to miss that sign.
“Oh, I doubt that. Knowing her, she’s probably off getting drunk at the Bronze right now,” she said with a bitter
laugh. Upon Tara’s glance, Buffy continued. “Long story. Not worth telling.”
“I have to find her. God knows what she’s doing…” Tara said, starting to get up.
“No!” Buffy screeched, surprising herself. Regaining her composure, she tried to explain. “With any luck, she’s
there sitting at a table alone, contemplating our discussion. We can’t give in yet.”
The firmness caught Buffy a little off-guard. I’ve still got it, she mused.
As Tara sat down, she looked up at Buffy uncertainly. “If anything happens…”
“I’ll kill myself, and then dig my own grave,” Buffy quickly finished firmly. “Now that all that is settled, lets
get some rest, shall we?”
Relenting, Tara nodded, and slipped into the bed. Picking up a spare sheet and pillow from the closet that Tara
pointed out, Buffy followed suit, knowing she wouldn’t get any rest.
At 3:00 that morning, Buffy awoke with a start. Not sure where she was, it took a couple of moments before her eyes
adjusted to what was Tara’s dorm room. As everything from the past couple days came back to Buffy her eyes went wide,
as she remembered what woke her up.
“Crap!” Buffy shouted, a bit louder then she meant. The figure on the bed stirred, and opened her eyes.
“M-morning, Buffy,” she moaned. Looking at the clock, she glared at her. “I don’t take to waking up this early
well.”
“Well, you won’t take this too well, either, then. You know those prophetic dreams I have? Well, I just had one,
and it doesn’t look pretty.” Buffy replied nervously.
“S-should we call Xander and Anya?” Tara asked, getting up. Upon the shake of Buffy’s head, she thought again.
“How about Giles. He said we could reach him if we ever needed to…”
“I think this is something we need to handle,” Buffy said. “And me digging my own grave? Turns out I might have
to do that after all.”
Not comprehending right away, Tara’s eyes narrowed again. “What’s the skinny?”
“Well, all I could make out was Willow, a bunch of people disappearing, and the Bronze. Beyond that, anything is
possible.”
Sitting through the next few moments, lost in their thoughts, the pair appeared to have nothing. Then, suddenly
Tara jumped up and practically ran to the bookshelf, not noticing the attention that she brought to herself.
“What is it?” Buffy’s voice seemed to startle her, but Tara kept her composure.
“I remember a spell my mother showed me once. She told me not to use it unless it was absolutely necessary,” she
said, showing Buffy the book. Pointing to the page, she continued. “I know it doesn’t look like a good idea, but
we’ve tried everything else. And, well, this is an absolutely necessary situation.”
Glancing up from the book, Buffy stared wide eyed at Tara. “You can’t be serious. Willow would never forgive you.
And I’d never forgive myself if I let you did it..."
“After the past few days, Willow doesn’t have that right anymore. I have to do this, and you know you won’t stop
me,” Tara replied stubbornly.
Sighing, Buffy knew she was beat, and decided to try her best to help her fellow blonde. Maybe with the two of
them, they might be able to get through it. “How do you plan on using it?”
“Well, there was a big crowd that disappeared, right? I think I can use that.” Tara said, looking back at the book.
“When?” Was the last question left.
“Tonight,” Tara replied, shutting the book.
What if they are right, though? Willow’s brain continued to nag her. Shrugging it off, she continued to walk towards
her old hangout, the Bronze. How could this be wrong, though?
Walking into the crowded place, she made her way to the bar stand, ordering a soda when she couldn’t find her ID.
As she finished her drink, she decided to get right down to business.
Making her way up the stairs to the main balcony, Willow got right to work.
Back in Tara’s dorm room, Tara could feel Willow, and got ready to do her own job.
“Wish me luck,” she said to Buffy, as she finished the last ingredient of the spell, and braced herself.
“You’re going to need it,” Buffy responded, still unsure about the idea.
With a wave of her hand, and a single word, Tara disappeared, as Buffy whispered, ‘Good luck.”
This is going to be perfect! Willow thought, happily, also waving her hands, as she finished her spell. As she
expected, all the people in the room disappeared. Noticing out of the corner of her eye that there was still one
person in the room, she cursed herself, and turned around. The sight before her shocked her to the core.
“Tara?”
Looking up, Willow noticed the slight trickle of blood seeping from her nose, and started to panic.
“Willow?” Tara responded, before collapsing in a heap in the empty room.
Willow just stood, dumbfounded, and growing hysterical. What have I done?
Finally gaining some of her bearings, Willow rushed down the stairs, next to her former lover.
“What have I done? What have I done?” Willow continued to ramble to herself. Checking for a pulse, her own
heart stopped for a second, as she felt nothing. A bloodcurdling scream was all that told Willow that she was still
alive.
A/N: Oh, God, what a cliffhanger. :)
I'm going to post part 2 (which IS done) later on. The cliffhanger just doesn't work if I put them together, so I'm going to be mean and leave it for later.
That’s it for now. Thanks, and happy reading!
"As long as we're together, nothing needs to make sense. And we'll always be together, no matter how lost we get, or how far separated we are. Nothing will ever make sense to us, and it won't ever matter." - Tara
From: Shooting Stars by Me
So please please update it soon cuz that cliffhanger was just 
