Spoiler Warning for Season 4...."Hush"
Title- Angels and Goddesses.
Rating- PG
Copyright Disclaimer- All characters belong to Joss and ME.
Notes- Though I regret doing it....and it vexes me no end...I am going to split this chapter into two parts for the sake of expediency. I always try to make little stories within the story so each chapter feels neatly tied up. This therefore is a stretch for me, I hope it works.
You all have been very patient. I thank you for that and hope you are pleased with this offering...I just couldn't bear the thought of making you wait any longer.
Blue Athame.
************************************************************************
Chapter 4: Hush If You're a Wiccan.
Willow leaned over to pluck a blade of grass using the opportunity to edge closer to Tara.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
"Hmmm?" replied Tara looking up from her book.
"Beautiful, isn't it beautiful here...in the sun and quiet?"...'With you' Willow added in her head.
"Oh yes," answered Tara rolling herself to her side to look at Willow full on, "I'm so relaxed."
"Me too..." sighed Willow, "and happy."
They gazed at each other a long moment with Willow fiddling with the grass between her fingers feeling its smooth texture.
This was becoming customary for them. Long interludes alone in warm places. It was more then Willow had hoped for initially, she had dreams of more but no expectations. Tara seemed happy with her and content with their growing relationship, even comfortable. She never turned down an opportunity to see Willow and Willow took this as a good sign. They had been seeing each other a lot, sometimes several times a day. Willow could not get enough of Tara, now that she had her she wasn't going to relinquish her easily.
Tara looked at her watch. "I'm afraid I am going to have to go soon."
"So soon?" said Willow looking disappointed.
"Willow, we've been here for hours." Tara smiled.
"Oh" she giggled looking at her own watch, "it feels like we just got here."
"I know" Tara replied sweetening her smile. She pushed herself up and gathered her books as Willow watched.
Willow knew she needed to move so they could shake out the blanket. She just wanted to linger a moment longer and watch the woman with her. She loved every movement, every breath. She loved the every day things like how Tara would absently tuck her hair back, or how she would curl her hands inside her sleeves, or even how she would sip her tea looking over the top into Willow's eyes. Willow liked to watch Tara move imagining the beautiful body underneath working itself against the rustling clothing.
Willow reluctantly forced herself to move off the blanket to help Tara prepare to leave. She herself needed to be somewhere but when she was with this woman nothing else seemed to matter. Willow could easily forgo other plans.
"Will I see you later?" Tara asked hopefully.
"Oh, yes," said Willow, " perhaps dinner?"
"That would be great" smiled Tara pleased. With that she turned and hurried away.
Willow knew that she was late but could not quite move, not yet. She stood in their spot watching Tara until she disappeared. She could still feel their combined essence hanging there almost as though they had left some type of cosmic imprint. Her heart filled, she knew that they were on the verge of something great.
Tara rushed, almost running to her room. She had stayed longer then she intended but was finding it harder and harder to leave Willow. It was so good,it was so sweet, it was more then she ever hoped for. She marveled at the gift of this woman and her firm persistent attentions. Tara always thought she would be alone. She had reconciled herself to that fact, but now there was Willow and the ever growing bond between them.
"Willow, Willow, Willow" she whispered moving herself across the campus. She loved rolling the name over her tongue. She loved the feel of Willow in her mouth.
Tara had felt Willow before she ever saw her. When Willow came she overtook and blanketed a room. Tara knew that Willow had no idea about her presence, her power, how she could fill an empty space just by being there. Tara reveled in their friendship basking in Willow's light. Finally she was emerging from the dark cave where her heart had been sleeping.
Tara wanted to tell her things. Tell her stories of love and magic, but she worried that she would scare Willow away. Tara could not, would not risk the loss. She bit her lip against the omissions. Willow had been asking, Tara had been carefully dodging. She didn't like lies, it was not in her nature but she could not take the risk. Her family, her magic, it was all too dangerous. Tara finally found something she wanted to hold on to, she was not going to let it go...not without a fight.
************************************************************************
The room was filled with chatter, Willow slipped in just as they were beginning, grabbing an empty chair.
"We come together, daughters of Gaia..."
'Blah,blah, blah' thought Willow bored already.
"We walk with the darkness, the wolf by our..."
'Blah, blah, blah' It was getting harder and harder to bear. Willow had been coming to the Wicca group regularly . At first she had been excited but that had quickly grown to disappointment . She thought that they would be witches, people like her. She had hoped to learn and grow in her craft but instead she got...
"I think we should have a bakesale."
'Ugh' she thought 'Blah, blah, blah.'
Frustrated, Willow shifted in her chair searching for the right words.
"Well, this is good and it's all fun, you know, but there is also other stuff that we may show an interest in as a wicca group."
Willow put on her best enthusiastic face.
There was a sudden shift in the room...across from Willow there was a shift on the floor. Tara was there head down listening, hiding.
'Willow ' she thought raising herself 'great goddess that's Willow.' Tara was surprised she hadn't felt her sooner. She too had been droned into complacency and boredom.
"Like what?" came the wiccans response.
"Well, there is the wacky notion of spells, you know conjuring, transmutation?"
Tara looked up at Willow with amazement and disbelief.
"Oh yeah, then we could all get on our broomsticks and fly around the room."
Laughter broke out among the Wiccans as Willow felt suddenly deflated.
"You know those sorts of stereotypes are not very empowering."
Tara opened her mouth to speak her eyes level on Willow. She was digging deep for courage. ' Willow, they are attacking my Willow.'
"I think that ..." Tara began.
"One person's energy can suck the power from the entire circle. No offense."
"Well, maybe we could ..." she tried again.
"Yeah, Tara...guys be quiet! Do you have a suggestion?"
The now silent group turned, all eyes were on Tara. She could feel herself shrinking under the attention. 'Willow' she cried in her head. Tara could not continue...she became a deer in the headlights.
'Tara' Willow answered sitting up in her chair. She was here, she was here trying to help her, she was here. Willow looked on her friend troubled. 'They shut her down, they shut us down, she's a witch, she's a witch like me!' Willow gasped.
Tara was shaking her head no her face now pointed at her lap. 'I let her down' she thought.
"Okay, lets talk about the theme for the Bacchanal."
Willow was pained as she remained focused on Tara. Not listening, not hearing she sat feeling the time slip by too slowly. She wanted to go to her, to comfort her. She didn't care about wiccans or bacchanals. She wanted Tara to be all right...she willed her to look up and smile, but it did not come.
Tara sat staring at her lap. Her mind was swimming. She wanted to crawl away and hide. She had revealed the worst part of herself, the weakness that buckled under pressure. She had survived in her life through submission and retreating. The one time she wanted to be strong...she could not.
'I couldn't do it' came the berating voice, 'I couldn't help Willow.'
Tara wanted to dissolve.
The endless meeting finally broke up, with talk of cookies, candles and countless other banalities. Willow rumbled...she wanted to roar yet was tamed by the woman before her. She was awash with the gentle compulsion to cradle Tara, she wanted to give of herself to make Tara whole again.
Willow waited until the group had gone. With only Tara and herself left in the lounge Willow rose slowly to approach her love. She was tentative, careful, approaching Tara as she would a frightened animal. Tara had been unmoving refusing to make eye contact, disappearing in shame.
Willow squatted before her and placed a careful hand on her knee. "Tara, are you all right?" she asked softly.
Tara nodded yes, but still bit her lip refusing to look at Willow.
Willow understood...she could feel it...she could feel Tara. "I am okay Tara, it's okay."
"N-n-n-no" came the response.
Willow winced at the stutter. She hadn't heard it since their first day in the cafeteria. When Tara was alone with Willow, she didn't stutter.
"I-I-I-I'm s-s-sorry."
Willow squeezed Tara's knee a little. "Look at me Tar, it's okay, it doesn't matter, I'm not hurt. They are just a bunch of blessed wannabes...who needs them."
Tara slowly raised her head beginning to smile. The panic was retreating being replaced by the warmth of Willow's hand and words. 'Willow hand' she thought, 'Willow hand is touching me.' It felt so good.
"There you are" Willow grinned "thought I lost you for a minute."
"N-n-n-no." Tara stuttered again shaking her head and cursing her feeble tongue.
"It's okay" said Willow with soft eyes, "I understand."
Tara looked like she was about to cry. 'I love this woman' she thought suddenly.
Willow just smiled, "Those blessed wannabes wouldn't know a couple of real blesseds if they hit them in the side of the head....which this one might be tempted to do right about now."
Tara giggled.
"Come on" Willow said straightening and offering Tara her hand. "Lets go someplace better for us. We don't need to be here anymore." Tara nodded to Willow holding her gaze as she got to her feet. She held fast to Willow's hand not feeling inclined to let go.
Willow was not inclined to let go either. She marveled at the feel of Tara's skin against her palm. 'For something to start out so terribly it sure is ending pretty well' she mused tightening her grip.
Tara followed Willow, she had no idea where they were going nor did she care, she was holding Willow, she was touching Willow, she would follow her anywhere just to keep the contact. Tara loved Willow.
************************************************************************
Part 2 of this chapter will probably be ready on Saturday. I hope this format works okay for you...you have all been so good and patient, I wanted to give you a little something to tie you over.
Thank you
Athame.
Edited by: Blue Athame 1 at: 5/31/02 11:05:16 am
by Blue Athame 1 » Tue May 28, 2002 9:41 am 
I'm really looking forward to this one. God, I love this story. Time to go back and re-read the previous 3 parts while having a nice glass of wine.
I will try again later once I recover. I think right now it would be better to work on posting part 2....sorry.