Niobe's Silence (updated 7/16/05)

[Emms]

Okay kittens...after reading the lovely Erin's comments I realized just how horrible I was being by not updating this fic....so I scampered off and got right to work on finishing the next update. I'm happy to say that It will be posted sometime tomorrow (assuming that it can be beta'd by then)


have a wonderful night kittens

xoxo
Emms

[Emms]

HI everyone....the update is ready it's a little short...but it will have to do for now. Um....I'm going to forego individual replies this time, just because it's been so long and you all probably forgot what you said all the way back when....Yeah. And I think you're aware of how much I appeciate all your wonderful comments and feedback to this story. You all are so wonderful. Okay....so onward, I think...with the update.


All Disclaimers Apply
Note Thanks carleen for fixing all my random mistakes. You're great.

*********************************************

I watch with detached interest as Mary lifts the white cotton napkin from the table and places it on her lap. I have hardly noticed anything these last of couple days. I haven't seen Willow in over a week, and I have found excuse after excuse as to why I've been unable to go. I suspect this is why Mary has called this somewhat unorthodox meeting. I call it unorthodox, not only for the fact that she's my boss, but also, because we've never been out together before.

"So, how is everything Tara?"

I take a bite of the salad in front of me; the lettuce has retained its crisp lettucy flavor in spite of sitting untouched for nearly half of dinner. I hardly taste it though, instead I’m thinking about ways to extract myself from this very uncomfortable situation. I wonder when it was that I became so avoidy. I swallow, my eyes flicking up to meet Mary's curious expression, but instead of answering her, I scoot my fork through the green debris in the bowl in front of me, and spearing a tomato, I take another unappetizing bite.

"I've noticed a change in you Tara...and I'm concerned that there is something going on with you. "

My eyes meet Mary's from across the table. She couldn't know anything about the secret thoughts I have been harboring for the last week, she couldn't know anything about that, then why did the expression on her face suggest something else entirely? "Why don't you just come out and say whatever it is you're hinting about." I sighed, growing frustrated with my inability to keep silent.

"Have you spoken with Buffy Summers yet?"

I eye the woman suspiciously, wondering why the sudden change in topic. "No....I've called several times, but I can't seem to reach her. Why? Have you heard from her? Has she been in to see Willow?"

"I really couldn't say for sure Tara...I guess I could check the visitation records if you'd like."

I am beginning to grow weary of the word games it seems Mary is playing with me. I am in no mood to engage further and one look at Mary tells me that she can feel my indifference to her attempt at this particular line of conversation.

"Will you be coming in this week?"

"How is she?" I say this too quickly. Ignoring Mary's question altogether, I'm unable to hold back any longer. Those words have been on the tip of my tongue all evening and there is relief in voicing them, even though I'm a little stunned by the passionate way they sound coming from my lips. My words may have surprised me but Mary seems completely unfazed.

"No change..." Mary paused. "Actually, I have to admit that the fact that there has been no further measurable change in her behavior concerns me a little."

"Oh, why is that?” I try to sound as convincingly neutral as possible.

"It's just a little...strange to me. I'm beginning to think that Willow has formed an unhealthy attachment to you."

"Unhealthy?" I focus on Mary, waiting for her next words.

"Don't get emotional Tara, I'm merely pointing out the fact that she was only making progress when you were there to lead her around by the hand..."

"What are you getting at Mary?" I am desperate to stop running around the bush with this woman now.

"I think you should hand the case over to another doctor."

I swallow the lump in my throat before answering. "I can't do that Mary..."

"Why?"

"I don't know.... I just can't." I'm unable to put my feelings into words, I just know that I'm close to something with Willow...I know that I need to be with her. Need to be with her? I am stricken by the way I chose to phrase that in my mind...it was nothing short of a Freudian moment...but there is no time to think about it because Mary is speaking to me now.

"That's not a very convincing argument coming from someone with your qualifications."

"E-excuse me?"

"Let us not forget who's in charge here Tara, I pulled you onto this case in the first place, and ultimately it's my decision whether or not you remain as you are.”

"Why now?"

"What?"

I am surprised by my boldness. I don't think I've ever spoken to anyone the way I'm speaking to Mary at this moment. “You heard me. I said...why now? Willow's been in there for 10 years and it hasn't mattered to anyone in all that time ... So why this sudden concern now?" I feel slightly out of line, but can't find the timidness to apologize.

"I'll give you two more weeks and then it's over, Tara."

"You know, I really didn't expect all this corporate politics crap from you Mary. " I lean over the table a few inches closer to Dr. Marlow, hardly caring that my voice had risen above a polite conversational level. "You're just like everyone else, it doesn't even matter to you that Willow is getting better, unless she is getting b-better on your terms."

"Really Tara, I don't think I need to school you as to why I've come to this conclusion...or do I?"

"No...I think you've said all you need to say. I'll be in on Monday." I stand; opening my purse I put a twenty-dollar bill on the table. The people sitting at their tables stare at me as I walk past them, their faces are amused by the commotion, but I'm too angry to care. Whatever is going to happen with Willow is going to have to happen in the next two weeks, because unless I can get Mary to change her mind, that's all the time Willow and I have left.

As I get into my jeep I pray to the goddess that two weeks will be enough time.

*****************************************

TBC

xoxo
Emms

[vix84]

Awesome! An update! I don't even care that it is short.

I loved Tara standing up to Mary. And it was cute that she stammered toward the end, despite her bravery. Sigh.

I hope she figures out a way to deal with the politics so that she can stay with Willow.

[watty]

No Emms, we won't punish you, not this time anyway. Just don't leave gaps between future updates this long, okay?

Argh, and I thought Mary was a good 'un, giving Willow's case to Tara. She's just like the rest, not caring. Boo! Hiss!

Nothing like a deadline to spur action, eh?

Whatever is going to happen with Willow is going to have to happen in the next two weeks, because unless I can get Mary to change her mind, that's all the time Willow and I have left.

Am I reading too much when I notice that it doesn't say "unless I can get Mary to change her mind, that's all the time Willow has to get better"? The difference? Tara and Willow being considered together as on entity.

Powerful stuff, and just the push / nudge to get the action going.

So, update oh, may be this weekend?

[sadie]

Yay! Update

I wonder what's gonna happen if Tara gets taken off the case...!!! If that happens, at all... But I'm sure either way there's gonna be some progress in the next two weeks. They beeeloooong together

[kindagay]

Emmmmsssssss, you updated - YAY!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you


Sorry, I got a little uhm, excited there , I'm calm now.

That was a wonderful update sweetie, as always.

Okay, 2 weeks left - Bad 'cos, well, as Tara pointed out, nobody else really cares all that much about Willow.
But also, good 'cos that means there won't be that pesky doctor/patient relationship keeping our girls apart. & if Willow's case is given to someone else, Tara can still visit Willow in a non-professional capacity & help make her all better. Uhm, right?

Emms, I don't like Mary. In fact, you know the bad mystery voice person? The one who I suspected had some bad black magic mojo going on? Well uhm, that's not Mary is it?

Go Tara! That was so cool how she was standing up to Mary.

& how sweet was this...

"How is she?" I say this too quickly. Ignoring Mary's question altogether, I'm unable to hold back any longer. Those words have been on the tip of my tongue all evening and there is relief in voicing them, even though I'm a little stunned by the passionate way they sound coming from my lips.

Very sweet

Thank you so much for updating this story.
I do hope we don't have to wait quite so long for the next instalment.

Hugs
Jeanne

[irishgrl3]

Jeez, I feel like kicking Mary's ass. Hee-hee. What a load of bureaucratic crap! Just when Tara seems to be making some progress she's given only two more weeks. You're going to have to fix it Emms, please?
So glad you updated, I like this story bunches!
-anna

[eirnlove]

Oh please I'm curious like I've never been before!

[AlysonGoddess]

Awww thank you for the update!!! i hope Mary changes her mind or Willow gets better ... whats gunna happen if tara leaves willow? Update soon please?

Erin

[Graceland]

Emms, I enjoyed this update very much, it's short and sweet. With the 2 week window, I hope that Tara will unlock the secret to bringing Willow back to "normal". Just make sure Mary stay away.

[hermitfish]

Hmmm...I’m fretting over more barriers for Tara but I think that definitely spurred her determination to help Willow even more...so yay. Thanks so much for any update...very appreciated.

~Cyd

[Insanity]

Wow Emms, an update.

Short but very intense.

So Tara avoided Willow for a week? And now ber boss is giving her a deadline? Crap!

But I trust you Emms!!

Insanity

[GayNow]

Emms -- Sweet Emms~

Thank you so much for an update to this wonderful story. There's so much pain...so much. But, I trust you and know that you'll take care of that pain...in time. I love the angsty ride, though. Oh, yes...I am an angst girl. And darned proud of it too!

And thank you so much for allowing me to beta for you. It's such an easy gig! And there's the added bonus of getting the early look at the updates before posting. Gives me more time to process. Gotta love processing time!

Can't wait for more, Emms....for ANY of your fics. They are all wonderful.

Carleen

[watersong84]

Yay for the update! But boo for Mary... she sucks. I hope that Tara can either come up with a miracle with Willow in the next two weeks or knock some sense into Mary. *mutters four letter words".

-Alyssa

[DreamLover]

Hello Emms,

That Mary is so so so ....gggggrrrrr I haven't got any words for her....she makes me angry.
I know I hate her but still the new term is really a good thing since Tara was debating about her feelings and whether or not she should go back to Willow.

It made her decide without thinking about all the consequence towards her dealing this situation that she normally would do. Now she follows her heart more. Being with Willow is all she wants deep down even if she is still fighting her feelings.

I can't wait to see them together again.... Willow fighting to get the drugs out of her system.... and Tara well Tara being Tara all caring and hoping Willow will come out of her dark "coma" world.

Great update Emms....I just have one more thing to say ..... WE WANT MORE>>WE WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care,
Henny

ps an update on the 13th?? Your lucky it wasn't Friday

[Emms]

Here are some replies to you wonderful kittens. The next update should be out as soon as It can be beta'd. Have a wonderful afternoon/night/moring/early evening....(I think that covers everyone...)

*************************************
vix Thank you sweetie. I'm glad you liked the update even if it was a little short.

I loved Tara standing up to Mary. And it was cute that she stammered toward the end, despite her bravery. Sigh.

yes, it was cute. Thank you for saying so.

************************************
watson

No Emms, we won't punish you, not this time anyway. Just don't leave gaps between future updates this long, okay?

No punishment?

Argh, and I thought Mary was a good 'un, giving Willow's case to Tara. She's just like the rest, not caring. Boo! Hiss!

I wouldn't say that she doesn't care....maybe she just cares for other reasons...* hint hint*

Am I reading too much when I notice that it doesn't say "unless I can get Mary to change her mind, that's all the time Willow has to get better"? The difference? Tara and Willow being considered together as on entity.

Oooooo very perceptive watson....that was actually something I did on purpose. I've tried, in this fic to word things using little "telling" psychological twists.....

So, update oh, may be this weekend?

um...yes

*******************************************
sadie

They beeeloooong together

yes....yes they do sweetie.
Thank you for leaving feedback

*********************************************

Jeanne! Yay! Thank you!! I loved the excitement. hehehehehe.

Okay, 2 weeks left - Bad 'cos, well, as Tara pointed out, nobody else really cares all that much about Willow.
But also, good 'cos that means there won't be that pesky doctor/patient relationship keeping our girls apart. & if Willow's case is given to someone else, Tara can still visit Willow in a non-professional capacity & help make her all better. Uhm, right?

Sadly...I don't think it's going to play out exactly in that way...even if Tara was not Willow's doctor there are still other things between them that wouldn't bode well for their budding relationship....one thing being...Willow's education...she was committed before she even finished highschool remember? I can't see Tara, as a child psychologist allowing things to get too out of control with Willow. (but not to worry though...happy endings all around. )

Emms, I don't like Mary. In fact, you know the bad mystery voice person? The one who I suspected had some bad black magic mojo going on? Well uhm, that's not Mary is it?

I plead the fifth...at least until the next update is posted.

Thank you for the wonderful feedback sweetie.

*******************************************

anna

Jeez, I feel like kicking Mary's ass. Hee-hee. What a load of bureaucratic crap! Just when Tara seems to be making some progress she's given only two more weeks. You're going to have to fix it Emms, please?
So glad you updated, I like this story bunches!

I promise to fix everything. And anna, I'm so glad you are still liking the update.

****************************************

eirnlove

Oh please I'm curious like I've never been before!

Thats a good thing. Maybe I will wait to post the next update for another week or so...just to draw out the suspense....

*****************************************

AlysonGoddess

Awww thank you for the update!!! i hope Mary changes her mind or Willow gets better ... whats gunna happen if tara leaves willow? Update soon please?

I'll update soon...I promise. But I can answer no questions...... As I told jeanne...I'm pleading the fifth until the next update is posted. I'm so happy you're still enjoying it though.

**********************************************

Graceland

Emms, I enjoyed this update very much, it's short and sweet. With the 2 week window, I hope that Tara will unlock the secret to bringing Willow back to "normal". Just make sure Mary stay away.

I can promise that everything will turn out for the best in the end. I'm glad you're enjoying the story enough to leave feedback.

**********************************************
Cyd

Hmmm...I’m fretting over more barriers for Tara but I think that definitely spurred her determination to help Willow even more...so yay. Thanks so much for any update...very appreciated.

Yes...I would say her determination was definitly spurred. now lets just hope that she can get past some of the newly formed barriers in order to help willow.

***********************************************
Insanity

Wow Emms, an update.

Short but very intense.

So Tara avoided Willow for a week? And now ber boss is giving her a deadline? Crap!

But I trust you Emms!!

yes....I would say that that was the best word for it.

*****************************************
Carleen

I love the angsty ride, though. Oh, yes...I am an angst girl. And darned proud of it too!

I think that should be printed on a tee-shirt. Either that...or this; Angst...it's the other white meat.

And thank you so much for allowing me to beta for you. It's such an easy gig! And there's the added bonus of getting the early look at the updates before posting. Gives me more time to process. Gotta love processing time!

Awww thank you for saying that Carr... I just hope it remains easy...

Can't wait for more, Emms....for ANY of your fics. They are all wonderful.

Thank you sweetie.

***********************************************
Alyssa

Yay for the update! But boo for Mary... she sucks.

Exactly. Thank you for summing it up so wonderfully.

*************************************************
Henny penny!! Oooops I mean Henny! (I promise...no more teasing )

It made her decide without thinking about all the consequence towards her dealing this situation that she normally would do. Now she follows her heart more. Being with Willow is all she wants deep down even if she is still fighting her feelings.

That's exactly what she did. Tara was faced with a choice, and up until this point she had been dealing a lot with guilt associated with her feelings for Willow, but she had to decide to let the guilt go a little bit so that she can help Willow..

I'm so glad you left feedback sweetie.

*******************************************************

xoxo
Emms

[DreamLover]

Henny Penny

I'm not talking to you anymore little writer.....

OK I have a big big heart if ..and that is if Sky Captain will forgive you then maybe ....maybe I will forgive you...

Henny

PS....I'm glad to that I leaved feedback

[Emms]

Henny Awww come on sweetie...you know I was just teasing.... I'm sorry... *cry* *sniff sniff* can't you forgive me?

OK I have a big big heart if ..and that is if Sky Captain will forgive you then maybe ....maybe I will forgive you...

hehe there's no need to bring that up Henny! *whines* I don't wanna be a Sky Captain.......


************************************************
HI everyone! okay, here's the next chapter.

All Disclaimers Apply

Note: I shifted tenses in this chapter...because I think it sounds better in past tense. I'll be writing it this way from now on and plan to go back and do a whole rewrite on the previous chapters at some point in the future. I hope that no one is too disgruntled by the change... Thank you all for reading...I hope you still enjoy it.

Note 2 Thank you carleen for your input and advice and general services. *clears throat* beta services that is.


***********************************

As I sat there stirring the ice in my glass of brandy, I couldn't help but think back on this evening’s dinner date with Tara. Everything had gone as I had hoped it would, except she'd made more of a scene then I had hoped. But that was a woman for you. What else should I have expected? But I had to admit, of all the versions of her I had seen, this one was my favorite. She was so spunky and full of fight tonight. And nothing like the sniffling pathetic shell of a woman I usually ran across 30 percent of the time. I liked this Tara. Smiling ruefully, I leaned back in the leather desk chair I was occupying. There was something about her in this scenario...something just fit, like I had finally found her nitch. Yes...taking care of the psyche rejects was just the thing for Tara. It really allowed her caring nature to shine though.

I thought about what I had said tonight about Tara having two weeks to get someplace with Willow. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I had pushed Tara into returning at all. If she never saw that dear, drooling girl again, then I would have won this time, and all this would be over. Maybe I had a subconscious need to fail. Maybe I had become so used to it that the thought of success really, on some level terrified me. Or was it more than that? Maybe I had become obsessed and enjoyed watching unfold, over and over again, this melodrama of my own creation. Was I just a deranged director mentally masturbating to the tune of my own recording?

I laughed at myself. I could almost hear the words of my professor whispering in my ear. "You were always the one to take things beyond the point of necessity" He would have said. The man was a bastard, but I credited him for my determination. I didn't know where I would have been at this moment, had he not taken me under his wing, even if the price for being there had meant a hand-job every third Sunday of each month. Who was I to complain? I owed him my life after all, didn't I? "And dear Tara's life"...I audibly reminded myself.
*******************************************

I had been thinking of Tara for endless moments now, days even...how many? I still wasn't sure. All I knew was that it had been a long time since I had seen her last. I missed her...and wondered why she had stopped coming.

Welcome to Barcelona!

I shifted in my bed, and tried to block the voice out of my mind. My brain hurt tonight and I tried to close it off a little, cause my heart was like a pathetically lost puppy; it would follow home any thought that stroked it. I waited with my mind cleared of all thoughts and
after a long time of silence, I began to relax a little, in hopes that the other me had left. But it hadn't.

It's happy hour here at The Palace...aren't you going to have a drink?

"I don't drink."

Impossible. If I drink, you drink...it's a requirement when sharing a brain.

"But I don't want to drink."

Too late, cause I'm already drunk.

I pondered on this a moment. If I was drunk.... Then that means… that I am drunk. I wondered how this was possible...I didn't feel drunk.... I could still feel my toes and my breath still had a minty fresh lilt to it from the toothpaste nurse Karen had used to brush my teeth only an hour before.... all indications pointed to the conclusion that I hadn't been drinking....

"If that's true, then explain the minty freshness of my breath." I challenged.

You were thinking about her again weren't you?

"None of your business."

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Tara. I tried again to remember how many days it had been since I had seen her last, but I couldn't be sure...dates were still a little fuzzy to me.

Fair enough. You don't need to tell me anyway, I already know it's true. I can smell it on you.

"Now who's smell stalking?"

You really do have a joke for everything...did anyone ever tell you how annoying that is?

"You're just mad cause I get all the funny one-liners and you're stuck being the surly, non-funny aspect of my personality...err...personalities?"

It's hopeless you know...

"What is?"

Existence. You try and try and nothing...nothing ever comes of all the effort you put into it. It's like that math equation...the one no one can answer.

"Life is like a math equation?"

What would you know about it anyway? It's not like you've lived. You know, it's all your fault you're in here don't you?

"We weren't talking about me..."

We're always talking about you. You're the center of the bleeding, frickin universe after all, aren't you?!"

"I never saw myself as the center of anything..."

They never do.

"Who?"

People like you.

Then there was silence, and I was left alone again. What a strange exchange that had been, for the first time in years it had actually felt like I hadn't been having a conversation with myself. I kept my eyes closed and she drifted back to me. She was never far away from my thoughts.

********************************************

I locked the front door, leaning my back against it; I blew out the breath I had been holding in since I had stormed out on Mary in the middle of dinner. I had never felt so angry in my whole life as I had at that moment, looking across the table at a woman I thought I had known so well. But I knew deep down that it wasn't Mary that I was angry with. I was angry with myself for letting my personal feelings toward a patient keep me from doing my job.

But there was just something about Willow that I couldn't shake free of. Even as I went about my evening routine of feeding the cat, stuffing a load of laundry into the machine and slipping into my pajamas before crawling under the sheets into my bed she stayed rooted there in my mind. Like a sweet pea vine, she clung to my thoughts as if they were the shady side of a wooden trellis. Maybe Mary had been right. Willow deserved to be helped, not led around by the arm. But how could I help her if I was too afraid to hold her hand? Girls held hands all the time; it didn't have to mean more than that. What if that was exactly what Willow needed, someone to hold her hand…and tell her everything was going to be alright. Could I let myself do that for her? Yes. I decided that I could.

Miss Kitty jumped up onto the bed, stepping her paws lightly onto my lap. She nuzzled my hand. She wanted to be petted, wasn't that the most basic of needs after food and water? To be touched? I scruffed the cat under the chin as I reached for the switch that would turn off the lamp next to my bed. Then, feeling better than I had all week, I snuggled down into the comforter, my head resting lightly on the pillow. I fell asleep with the vision of Willow's hand in mine and for the first time, there was no guilt associated with the thought.

**********************

TBC

[watersong84]

Yay! Another update!

That's two within less than a week, you should be proud of yourself.

I have to say, the past tense really does work for me. And it wasn't really that confusing going from what you were doing to this. I think it flows better, and it's more poetic this way. For example:

Maybe I had become obsessed and enjoyed watching unfold, over and over again, this melodrama of my own creation. Was I just a deranged director mentally masturbating to the tune of my own recording?

I appreciate these two sentances. A lot. And if it was in present tense, they would seem a little out of place.

So, maybe Mary's not exactly EVIL... she's just a little far off the path of the nice and good. She's maybe like... one of Glory's minions on a power trip. Hmm. Maybe.

Great update!

-Alyssa

[DreamLover]

ooooo goody goody an update....mmmmmm let me think about forgiving you Sky Captain....hehehehe You don't need to cry Emms... the sun is shinning so smile little amazing writer.

Great update,

Mary makes me wonder about a lot of things like is she after Tara. Does she want more of her...like I do ..oooops I mean like Willow does. I'm not sure if I can wait for the next update...I need answers now!!!

Fair enough. You don't need to tell me anyway, I already know it's true. I can smell it on you

Smell it on her....naughty naughty mind...really naughty!!!


OO Tara, Tara.... still thinking to deep on everything let go girl...lucky her she did. Holding a girls hand is the most beautiful thing on earth.

I fell asleep with the vision of Willow's hand in mine and for the first time, there was no guilt associated with the thought.

*Sigh* beautiful!!!!


Thank you Emms for the update and ok....I will forgive you!!!!

Henny

[kindagay]

Update, Yay!

Hey sweetie

I always have to remind myself to breathe when I read any of your updates, I'm not sure what it is about your writing, something about the simple beauty of every word makes my breath catch in my throat.

Anyway, feedback, in 3 parts, 'cos, the update was in 3 parts.

Mary
I'm completely confused. Is she bad? is she good? What's she up to? Why is she so desperate to keep our girl apart? Who was her professor? & what did he teach her? What does he (& Mary) have to do with...

"...dear Tara's life"

?
I'm baffled & dumbfounded & desperate for answers. Answers soon? Please Emms, I'm not too proud to beg

Willow

What a strange exchange that had been

Yes indeed it was, but, as with all of Willow's internal rambled conversations, it was cute & lol worthy, especially this bit...

If I was drunk.... Then that means… that I am drunk

You gotta admire the logic of that one.
A very intriguing exchange between Willow & the other part of Willow there.

Tara

But there was just something about Willow that I couldn't shake free of.

Yes Tara, you're in love with her, she's your soulmate, you're destined to be together in every dimension throughout time & space.

What if that was exactly what Willow needed, someone to hold her hand…and tell her everything was going to be alright. Could I let myself do that for her? Yes. I decided that I could.

Good good, now, hop to it girl, you've only got 2 weeks left.
Woohoo for visions of guilt-free hand holding, I feel all warm inside, like things are gonna get good or something. Uhm, there is some goodness ahead yes? Even just a teensy bit will do.

Can't wait for more sweetie, I'm just bursting with curiosity & intrigue (oh, not literally though, 'cos, that would just be messy & painful too) .

Hugs
Jeanne

[Insanity]

Another update!

So let's see waht we got here Emms...

Mary:

I'm a little confused. Isn't she what she pretends to be? Is she a demon or something? and is she really the one who's responsible for the state Willow is in? Or at least that Willow can't come back our of her shell?

At least she's a bit** *g*. With her "little" powergames...

Willow:

She realized that Tara wasn't there for some days. That's good, isn't it?
And she seems to have more concious thoughts then before.
I wonder which personality is really hers (of course, she is both of them, but you know...)

Tara:

A good decission, I think. Touching is good!!!! *gggg*

She let of some steam, sorted her thoughts and now she is able to make the next step.

Now, let's see what happens next....

Very good update!!

Insanity

[eirnlove]

Tara's not feeling guilty anymore! Great!

Let's cure Willow and let'em be together!

great update btw : D

[onlykaren]

Hey, great update. Very well written

[watty]

It was confusing at first read, but that means I have an excuse to read the update twice. Nice job on the three pov's.

First section. May be it's my suspicious nature but I'm not 100% convinced it's Mary. It mentions the 2-week conversation with Tara of course, but that could be the "black hand" behind Mary speaking.

If she never saw that dear, drooling girl again, then I would have won this time, and all this would be over.

Looking at this passage closely, it appears that she (I'm going for Mary for the time being, for simplicity's sake) is almost daring Tara to succeed and "cure" Willow. All what will be over? Oh, I love the added intrigued, that something very sinister was behind Willow's condition and both W and T are heading towards something that doesn't mean well for either of them.

The voice in Willow's head is back!

If I was drunk.... Then that means… that I am drunk. I wondered how this was possible...I didn't feel drunk

That has an almost Willowesque babble to it. Almost like asking yourself are you lying when you're a compulsive liar and you're saying that you're lying. Though I'm sure that over the years Willow had relied / become comfortable / tolerated these voices, she is beginning to separate them out, and when she's able to do that, hopefully her real personality will snap out of her tepid state and take ove.

And finally to a Tara who has to take responsibility for Willow's cure.

wasn't that the most basic of needs after food and water? To be touched?

I'm glad she realized that, it seems a very basic desire to have, but one that she has shied away from. No fear anymore. I can imagine Tara waking up the next day and going to visit Willow and there'd be handholdinig. And that, will be a very good thing.

p.s.

No punishment?

No, not right now, since you're being so fast. I reserve the right if you slack off in the future.

[AlysonGoddess]

*SIGH* YAY! Fantastic update! Tara need to go see Willow pronto!!!!! I think Willow needs some lovin cuz we all know that Willow likes Tara Please update

ERIN

[JustSkipIt]

Emms,
Quite a powerful update. First there's the ?Mary? part about pushing Tara. Not sure what's up with her. Then the Willow part is fantastic. She seems to be becomming less cloudy and to be starting to win some arguments. Good for her. Finally Tara with admitting what is happening to some extent. Can't wait till she goes back to see Willow (or sees Buffy). Well done.

PS. I'm rereading ADL.

[terra21]

I beg for an update and I get two! But I was bad with the feedback, I sorry. Here I am to make up...

Mary is a question mark. Hmm, I must be in "state the obvious" mode today. Sooo can't wait to find out more about this wizard behind the curtain and her motives.

I love when Tara speaks her mind, it may take alot to get her there, but when you do, watchout!

Poor little Willow missing Tara, come on Emms throw us a bone.

Loved this quote:

Like a sweet pea vine, she clung to my thoughts as if they were the shady side of a wooden trellis.

You are an exceptional writer Emms, plus you multitask all your fics like nobody's business. Kudos to you!

[justin]

This is a great story. I'm intrigued as to what is going on.

After Mary's argument with Tara I was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt, thinking that she wanted to stop Tara working with Willow because she was worried that they were becoming too close and that this might endanger Tara's career. However it seems to be something more sinister.

It seems that Mary is performing some sort of experiment on Willow and she's worried that Tara might be putting the experiment at risk.

[sadie]

Weee, update!

I loved the last line. Hopefully Tara won't be too worried about that now... Or at all... They beeelooonnng together!! *emphasizes fact with hammer twice my size*

I am confused about Mary, not sure what that's all about... But I figure these things have a way of unraveling later on (right?) I can be patient! heehee

Great update again, thanks much