I JUST finished this Part maybe ten minutes ago. Song lyrics are designated by being surrounded by **. I can't figure out how to italicize, so I'm making do. This was the hardest and most fun to write, if that makes any sense. You'll see
I'm still in awe of the fact that other people are enjoying my attempt at therapy. Thanks for reading!
Author: SarahElaine
E-mail: sarahelaine814@yahoo.com
Title: Drug of Choice
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I'm obviously not Joss. If I was, TARA WOULD BE ALIVE! So don't sue, okay?
Feedback: Pretty please with cherries on top!
Summary: Takes place after "Dead Things". In Part Five, Willow goes to Tara's dorm to pick up a few things and finds more than she bargained for.
Author's notes: This is my way of exacting revenge. If you want to know the story, email me and I'll be happy to tell you how evil SOME
boys are.PART FIVE
Willow stood in front of Tara's dorm room, willing herself to open the door and walk in. This was her first time in Tara's current room and she was a little nervous. She didn't expect to find a little voodoo Willow doll or anything, but - actually that's exactly what she was afraid of. She was afraid that she'd walk in and see a picture of herself used as a dartboard or something.
"C'mon, Willow," she said to herself. "Be a man."
Willow laughed at herself and pushed the door open. She quickly scanned the room and saw no evidence of burned Willow effigies. Smiling, Willow opened Tara's closet and found her overnight bag, which she filled with clothes. She started toward the door when she remembered that she had forgotten to grab underwear and socks. Tara wouldn't be very pleased with a ton of clothes and nothing to put under it, even if it would make Willow a very happy girl.
"Mind out of the gutter, Rosenburg," Willow muttered under her breath as she started rooting through the top drawer of Tara's dresser. She wanted to get Tara her favorite pair of socks, the ones with the faeries on them, so she pulled the drawer out all the way and starting tossing things that weren't faerie socks onto the bed. Her hand brushed against something hard and she pulled a wooden box out of the drawer.
Willow was about to throw the box onto the bed when she realized that her name was engraved on the top. She stumbled back and took a seat on the bed, the box in her hands. Time seemed to stand still as Willow fumbled with the lid and pulled it open. A cloud of unmistakable Tara scent rose from the box and Willow inhaled deeply, tears coming to her eyes. She missed Tara so much; everything about her. She missed her trademark half-smile and the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed. She looked down at the contents of the box and pulled out the first item.
Willow held a cassette tape in her hands. She glanced at the label to see what tape it was and smiled as she read "Play me" off the strip of masking tape stuck on the case. She gently set the box on the bed before walking over to Tara's cd player and inserting the tape. She pressed play and smiled as strains of song entered her ears.
**So dear to me
Always keep me company
Who needs to go outside
I will be your silent bride**
Willow returned to the bed and picked up the box again. She lifted a petalless rose out and brought it to her cheek. She couldn't believe that Tara had kept the result of their first official spell together. A giggle escaped from between her parted lips as she remebered the look on Tara's face when the rose had started flying around the room.
**I can't take my eyes off you
Nothing ever needs to be said
You send your message
Right into my head**
Sighing, Willow set the rose stem next to her on the bed and picked up a lump of melted wax. She recognized the remains of her extra-flamey candle. Willow had been unsure if the spell she had cast on the candle would work, but the flame had seemed to burn with the fervor of Willow's love for Tara that night. After the flame had been extinguished, the love had strengthened, leading the two Wiccans into a love-making session that had lasted nearly until dawn.
**You fill me up when I'm alone
So soothing is your monotone
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you**
The melted candle joined the rose stem on the bed as Willow pulled a handmade tarot card out of the box. Instead of one of the usual tarot characters, Tara had written "Willowhand" on the bottom and above had pasted a picture of the two of them together. Willow's eyes closed as she recalled Tara's improptu palm reading session at the Magic Box that had started that phrase. She opened her eyes and moved on to the next item in the box.
**So maybe you're not as real as the others
But I choose you over all my past lovers
For they have come and they have gone
But I can always turn you on**
Willow thumbed through a palm-sized book titled "My Pocket Book of Constellations". Tara had gone through and added her own names to the star groups. The Big Pineapple and Short Man Looking Uncomfortable were featured and Willow ran her finger over the pictures, wishing that she could be back on the roof with Tara, when things had been so much simpler. Before Glory and Rack...
**I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you**
The last item in the box was an envelope that said simply "For Willow". Frowning, Willow turned it over and ripped the envelope open. A single sheet of stationary fluttered into Willow's lap and she lifted it gently to eye level. Willow stared at for a minute before realizing that it was a letter. She cleared her throat and started reading.
Dear Willow,
If you're reading this letter, I'm probably dead and you're going through my things. I started this box when we first met, knowing somehow how important you would become to me. I'll explain the significance of all the things I chose.
The rose stem is from our first spell together; at least our first 'official' spell, because I think of the soda machine incident as more of a 'phenomenon". That night was the first night that I realized that I was in love with you and wanted to do anything in my power to make you happy. And when we floated the rose with the syncronicity of our minds, I knew that, even if we were never lovers, we could at least always be friends.
The melted candle is what was left of your extra-flamey candle, which you brought to me the night that you told me that you loved me for the first time. You'll never know just how much that night meant to me. When you knocked on the door of my room, I was sure that you had come to tell me that you were back together with Oz. And when you said the opposite, my heart swelled and broke for you at the same time. No one could ever make me feel as much as you have.
The tarot card is pretty obvious, I think. It's important because it made me realize the solitary focus I have on you. Anything can be going on around me, but you draw my complete attention. And that Willowhand that I saw that day has been so good to me. You've made me realize that I deserve to be loved, Willow, and for that I owe you everything.
The last item I placed in this box was my constellation book. I took the liberty of adding my names ot the pages for you. My star names are probably the silliest thing about me, and you accepted them and, in doing so, completely accepted me. You seem totally okay with every part of me, and that is the most valuable gift that anyone has ever given me.
I love you, Willow. I always have and I always will. The circumstances of this lifetime have pulled us apart but I have faith that we'll be together again someday, somehow. What you did to me should be unforgivable, but I forgave you the moment you did what you did. I'm so sorry that we couldn't patch things up this time. Of all the things on earth I enjoy, I'll miss being in your arms the most. I'll be waiting for you on the other side.
Yours always,
Tara
Willow wiped the tears from her eyes and sat staring in to space for a few moments, letting all that she had just experienced sink in. Someone walked by Tara's door and laughed, bringing Willow back to herself. She grabbed Tara's packed bag in her hand, still clutching the letter in her other hand, and started off at a run towards home...and Tara.
SarahElaine
"There's so much to work through, trust has to build again on both sides, you have to learn if you are even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and can we just skip it, and can you just be kissing me now?" Tara
. They are so great. 
) for tomorrow's class. I just want to say that I love all you guys and really appreciate you reading my fic and letting me know that you like it. You have no idea how much it means to me! Thanks LOADS!
..........i'm not that evil really .....