Hi Kittens - Darcy's home, it's beta-ed, there's no storm so here's the promised update.
Angst level - about a 6
Rating: NC-17
Health Warning in effect - grab your gear, we're,um going down...
Squick Warning in effect (feminine hygiene matters)
Oz Warning in effect
Have fun.
******
Slowly Tara became aware of two things: a warm body draped over hers and an annoying buzz. One was extremely pleasant, the other definitely not. She reached out one arm, fumbled around, and finally managed to turn off the alarm. Annoyance dealt with, her hands naturally gravitated to the woman who was using her as a pillow. She ran her fingers over the smooth back and shoulders, through the red hair. Beautiful.
“MMmmm, Tare, if you keep doing that, we can just skip going to dinner, and that would negate the whole purpose of setting that alarm.” Willow’s voice was slightly muffled.
She chuckled. “Hi, sweetie.”
The head lifted and Willow turned her face towards her. With one brow lifted, she hinted, “Not that I’d mind skipping dinner.”
“No, we should eat.” Tara tried to look stern. From the widening smile on her lover’s face she knew she was failing.
Willow scooted upward and they kissed gently, their lips parting.
“MMmmmm,” Tara moaned as they separated.
“So, Tare,” Willow said with a mischievous grin. “You’re sure you want food?”
Actually, what she wanted was to stay here, in bed, with Willow. But …. “Um – Buffy. Espresso Pump. Remember?”
“Yeah, I know,” Willow sighed, frowning slightly but resigned to the inevitable.
Stroking her fingertips back and forth over Willow’s back, she said, “We should eat first. Something healthy, especially since you think you’re PMSing and I know I’m due.”
Her lover suddenly looked worried. “Tara ….,” she paused for several heartbeats, “… uh, how … um, can we ….”
She tightened her arm about Willow’s shoulders. “You want to know if we can still make love when ….”
Willow interrupted her, “Yeah, ‘cause Oz and me, well, we didn’t, and I know that the logistics are kinda different, but do you want to? I mean, if we can ….”
She winced inwardly – as she always did – at the mention of Willow’s former lover, but gave no outward sign. She brought her face close to her lover’s, so that they were nose to nose, and softly said, “I want to. And yes, we can. Logistics-wise, what we just did is certainly possible – highly probable, actually.” Her eyes narrowed impishly as she watched the color rise in Willow’s cheeks. Sooo adorable, she thought, and continued, “Fingers outside – no problem; inside, well, that would be messy, but doable.”
“You’d do that … uh, with me bleeding, that wouldn’t, like, turn you off?” Willow eased away from her and studied her face.
“I’d do it. And nothing about you would turn me off. O-Oz d-didn’t w-want to?” she queried, grimacing a little at the multiple stutters. But Willow didn’t seem to notice.
“No, we didn’t, ’cause he was a little concerned about that whole bodily fluids thing. He was afraid …. Well, with Wolfie and all, and not really knowing what might be infectious or not … well, of course, saliva, so he was always careful not to bite me, but he always used protection too, just in case. And yeah, the moon is a trigger, but he didn’t know if he’d wolf-out if, um, we did it while I was … blood scent and dogs, you know … and we thought it would be safer not to find out. We stayed away from one another completely when the full moon coincided with my period. And, y’know, that really sucked, because a lot of times that’s when I really, uh ….” Willow ran down, perhaps thinking that this might fall into the category of “Too Much Information”.
The green eyes studied her face, apparently watching for any change in expression. And she knew that a whole range of expressions had just marched across her face, since she had just received far more of an answer than she expected – or wanted. Breathe. Too much information, indeed. Breathe. Werewolf love. Only in Sunnydale could she fall in love with a woman who had loved – physically loved – a teenage werewolf.
“M-Make s-sense,” she ventured, and watched one of Willow’s eyebrows lift in what she already recognized as Willow-disbelief masquerading as polite skepticism. Dropping her arm from around her lover’s shoulder, she looked away, uncomfortable. She didn’t want Oz in bed with them – in any form – even if she had posed the question in the first place. Stupid.
“Tara.” Willow’s fingers touched her chin and tugged her face around. “Are you freaked?”
Reluctantly, she looked up into the large eyes. “A … a l-little,” she admitted hesitantly.
Willow-fingers brushed over her cheek, pushing her hair back, as the eyes searched hers. “You stutter more when you’re upset.” She said it with a bit of a nod and added, “I think that your ‘a little’ really means ‘a lot’.”
“It’s just h-hard to imagine you in … w-with a w-w-werewolf.” She tried to explain but just couldn’t bring herself to say “in love”.
But Willow had noted her evasion and wasn’t going to permit it. “Tara, I was in love with him. He was the first person I ever loved who loved me back. He was also my first lover. And because of that he’ll always be important to me. Yes, it hurt me when he left, and it hurt so much that I hated him, but I couldn’t do that for long … ’cause he’s Oz.” Her lover paused, and with a rueful smile, said, “And I think you’re more freaked that I loved a guy than that the guy is a werewolf. You never liked boys, did you?”
“N-No.” She shook her head. “N-Never.”
Hitching a leg across hers, Willow hugged her with her arms, snuggling closer with her body until she was most thoroughly embraced. An embrace that an hour ago would have ignited nothing but passion, an embrace that Willow intended for comfort – and it filled her with nothing but panic. She took a deep breath to steady herself, knowing as she did so that Willow could feel it.
Very gently, Willow kissed her – her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids – trying to ease the pain she clearly sensed, the hurt that was wound in a tight ball in the center of her chest. Finally she spoke. “Baby, I don’t know why you didn’t, but I did, and well, I know that you think that you can’t compete with that. But that’s where you’re a doofus. You didn’t hear the past tense. That was then. It’s … he’s a memory. You’re here and now and in the flesh.” Willow smiled a bit sadly. “I loved him, Tara, and maybe it’s the whole being a witch thing and almost wreaking vengeance on my friends, but I’m trying to be careful of what I say.” Willow-lips found hers again and after another soft kiss, whispered, “What I can say, Tara, is that what I feel for you is a lot like what I felt for him, and I can’t imagine not having you … not being with you.”
Tara’s hand lifted, her fingers tracing Willow’s cheekbones almost of their own will. “I un-understand.” And she did. She’d felt the little ball unwind a bit as her lover spoke.
Her lover looked thoughtful. “Maybe, you do, but ….” She paused, then asked, “Tara, some of this may hurt, but I need to say it – and I think you should hear it. Okay?”
She nodded, unable to speak as she felt her chest tighten all over again.
Willow took a deep breath and began, “A little while ago, when we were making love, you, um, sort of accused me of thinking. And, well, I was. I was thinking how similar in some ways the two of you are. But I was also thinking how different making love with you is. Oz is my height, so that thing that Buffy and Riley have – that whole climbing a mountain thing – wasn’t ever an issue. We made love face to face, sometimes he was on top, sometimes I was. I don’t know if it was because of Wolfie, but Oz didn’t have much hair and I liked that. He also had great hands, and I loved to have him touch me. He played guitar and had calluses on the tips of his fingers, which sort of sounds gross, but they were just a little rough and felt really good when he touched me. The actual … um, doing it, well, I was a virgin so, um, it hurt a little at first, but it felt good too. The first time we did it was the night before Graduation, when we thought we were going to die the next day. And that might be why it didn’t hurt so much, but it might also be why it never got much better. Pre-death sex would be sort of hard to beat. But Oz wasn’t selfish. If he, um, finished before me, well, he took care of things, either with his hands or his mouth – and it felt good, Tara.”
She paused at last for a kiss and Tara felt her lips tremble beneath Willow’s. How on earth could she compare?
Willow sighed in muted exasperation. “Let. Me. Finish.” She followed each word with a kiss. “I’ve only ever had the one boyfriend, so my data is sort of incomplete, but making love with you is better. You know me … what I like. Whether it’s because of that spell or because you’re a woman too and know what it feels like, or because you’re just better at it, I don’t know – and I don’t care. Just the look in your eyes makes me weak in the knees. And when you touch me, skin to skin – even if it’s just to hold hands – well, it’s like I have this ball of sunshine in my belly and your touch makes it send out flares. And when you make me come, that little sun ball goes nova. And Oz never did that.” Willow caressed her cheek with her thumb as if wiping away imaginary tears. “Is that a little clearer?”
Maybe, Tara thought, it was just better because they truly loved one another. When she was ready, Willow would think of that explanation, too. She gazed up at her lover and nodded again. “Th-Thank you.”
“Thank you? I’ve done very little but hurt you today, and you say ‘thank you’? Do you have any idea how ridiculous that is?” Willow shifted completely up on top of her, weight evenly distributed over her body, and took her face in both hands. “Don’t thank me – and don’t apologize either. It’s not your fault. I hurt you. Can you deny it?”
“No.” She was transfixed by the look in Willow’s eyes. She had a defender, a most ardent defender. Willow was her knight in shining armor and would face any dragon for her. Willow would even defend her from herself – which might or might not be a good thing, given her family history.
“You know, they say the eyes are the windows of the soul and well, I know that’s true. It’s why I can’t play poker worth a damn. So tell – you just went from hurt to misty-eyed to – what are you thinking?”
“That I don’t have to be afraid of dragons with you around, Lady Knight.” She savored the bittersweet moment. They were definitely taking turns today.
Willow giggled and Tara wrapped her arms around her. “Mmmm, Tare, I do have a suit of armor under my bed.”
“Armor?” She loved this. Feeling Willow on top of her was like having her own suit of armor – she felt protected.
“Uh-huh, I was Joan of Arc at Halloween.”
“And a very cute Joan of Arc, too, I imagine.” She could just picture her lover – no actually…, “Um, Willow, would you dress up in it for me?”
“Ha! You just want to be there in case I need help getting it off.”
She felt her own ball of sunshine begin to flare and ran her fingers through the short red locks. She knew how good it felt when Willow ran her hands through her hair, the motion gently tugging and stimulating. Her fingers traveled to the back of Willow’s head and neck, to the more sensitive areas, and she watched Willow-lips part. This. She lived for this. She pulled Willow’s mouth to hers and whispered, “I would love helping you get it off.”
Willow took a few moments to reply, “Oh … god, Tara! Um, time?”
“Buffy can wait.”
“But – she’s out of class, she could stop by, she ….” Willow’s desire was apparent even as she offered excuses.
“She doesn’t know that we’re here; we could be at the library. Someone knocks, we’re quiet like mice.” She rocked her hips upward in the ultimate clinching argument.
“Buffy can wait.”
*****
Willow covered her lover’s lips with kisses, short hungry little kisses. She devoured Tara’s mouth as they rocked together. But the rocking thing wasn’t what she wanted, especially if they were going to be somewhat limited in the upcoming days. She abandoned Tara-lips and ignored her lover’s whimper of protest. Her mouth tracked hotly over the graceful neck and she almost enlarged her marks, but then good sense kicked in. They only had so many high-cut tops and wearing scarves all the time was sooo obvious. Scooting down farther, her lips brushed over Tara’s nipples and she felt Tara’s fingers tighten reflexively in her hair. The slight pulling set more flares off in her belly. She sucked each nipple gently, feeling them harden, and knew that Tara could feel them tighten. Knew how good that almost-pain felt. Her mouth left them and began to ravish the creamy skin surrounding them. Less sensitive than the coral peaks, it still responded to her attentions. At least she thought it did, because Tara’s breathing hitched when she began to suck on the skin near one of her nipples. She could mark this skin without fear. Her teeth dented it, and she sucked and pulled and tugged – Tara’s moans encouraging her. At last she released it, swirling her tongue over the mark and the nearby nipple. She shifted her head to the left breast and began again, Tara squirming beneath her.
At last she lifted her head and slid up her lover’s body, duplicating Tara’s nipple caress. And knew in that moment how wonderful it had felt for Tara, when she did that repeatedly over her back. She made a little note and smiled suddenly. She had a Tara-to-do list!
“What?” Tara’s voice was hoarse with lust.
“Thinking of what all I’m going to do to you,” she answered.
“Will I like it, um, them, uh ….” Her lover tried to focus.
But she wanted Tara unfocused or rather, focused in a specific way. “You’ll like, I promise. And some of it is a ‘with’ not just a ‘to’.” She kissed her lover, slipping her tongue into her mouth, letting it curl behind Tara’s teeth and licking the sensitive skin there, and letting it dance with Tara-tongue. Withdrawing her tongue, she glanced in Tara’s eyes and was pleased to see blue pools of lust without focus beyond the moment. Perfect.
She pulled a pillow loose from the small mountain that supported Tara’s head and saw understanding flash in the eyes before Tara managed to speak.
“You want ….”
“Uh-huh.” Willow slipped off and inverted her body, the pillow raising her hips. “You. Here. On top.”
“Um, ….” Despite the hesitation in Tara’s voice, she was already moving, her hands locating another pillow. “Here. You’ll need this under your head.” She handed it to Willow, who placed it behind her head as Tara moved into position over her.
Willow licked her lips, wanting to taste Tara right then, but instead she lifted her feet, placing them on the wall beneath the fairy lights, and spread her legs. Good. Her hands stroked the insides of Tara’s thighs, until they found a good position for bracing. Her eyes had never left her lover’s pussy, greedily consuming it as she wriggled into place. A darker coral than Tara’s nipples, the lips full and probably swollen, it was slick and wet, the blonde curls a dark tangle. Beautiful. She paused, slightly bemused by the thought. But it was, in a way that Oz’s penis wasn’t. She’d never found that part of Oz more than amusing, in both a feel-good amusing way, and a ha-ha amusing way. But Tara’s pussy was beautiful. And she couldn’t believe she was letting herself be distracted from it!
“Tare, I’m ready,” she announced. Boy, was she ready.
“Okay, but if you can’t breathe, um, just push me off, we can do it from our sides.” Concern flavored the lust in her lover’s voice.
“Not an issue.” Willow watched Tara’s pussy come closer through eyes gone narrow with hunger. She felt Tara’s breath on her own pussy and whimpered, wanting to pull Tara down against her mouth, but knowing she needed to keep her hands and arms in position. The thing about doing this on their sides was that no matter how pleasant it was, the leverage just sucked. She wanted to feel Tara’s pussy thrusting against her tongue, her lips, her teeth, and she wanted gravity behind those thrusts.
Their tongues touched simultaneously, Tara’s taking a long slow glide that parted her lips from front to back, hers flicking hard over Tara’s clit. But then they had slightly divergent purposes. Tara liked it when she hungered, liked to tease her to the point of frustration. She, on the other hand, wanted to drive her lover’s alter ego out into the open. She desired Tara always – but forceful Tara was especially hot.
Tara opened to her like the petals of a flower. Her tongue caressed the hot flesh, parting the lips, stroking deep in search of the pool of Tara’s nectar. Even if nectar was a silly word, that was how she thought of it. Sweet, slightly salty, she loved the taste of Tara. She wanted to bury her nose in her.
Tara-tongue stroked her again and her hips thrust up reflexively. It was the softest caress in the world, but also was one of the most satisfying. A third long stroke and then lips closed on her clit and sucked. She pushed up into the suction, holding her hips elevated. And Tara finally came down completely to her mouth, giving her everything she could possibly desire. She strained her hips upward as Tara tongued her, and at the same time reveled in the softness, the wetness, covering her mouth. Tara rocked against her rhythmically, so that breathing really wasn’t an issue. Her tongue’s strokes timed to the thrusts, she enjoyed the feeling of Tara moving against her mouth.
Her own pussy was being thoroughly loved. Tara’s tonguing was arrhythmic, sometimes stroking, sometimes flicking, sometimes swirling. And sometimes she just sucked. It gave her no option but to thrust upward, holding as long as possible under the onslaught before sagging back to the bed, only to lift again as Tara’s mouth followed. At last the tonguing steadied, short hard flicks washed over just her clit as Tara pressed her down against the bed.
Had she been able to speak she would have cried out her assent, but forceful Tara had her pinned. Her neglected nipples tightened as her hunger began to scream. Her lips covered her lover’s clit and she sucked. It was as if by sucking she could pull Tara inside her, could make this – this intensity – last. Tara thrust hard against her mouth, bruising her lips against her teeth. Tara-lips found their own position and duplicated what she was doing. It was good, better than anything in the whole world, and she clawed her way up over the last obstacle before falling, the ball of sunshine exploding around her. With a final flick of her tongue she pulled Tara with her.
Moments later, cool air on the wetness that slicked her face roused her. She missed the warmth that was Tara and her head instinctively turned to find it. Tara crouched alongside her, her body visibly shaking as she gasped for air. She reached out an unsteady hand and touched her lover’s hip, saw the shaking ease. She heard Tara swallow and watched her turn about on wobbly arms and knees.
Willow closed her eyes for a moment and swallowed too, trying to bring her own gasping under a semblance of control. Her eyes reopened to see Tara slowly lower herself beside and on top of her. The blonde head made a pillow of her chest, the hair flowing across her breasts tickling her still sensitive nipples. She lowered her arms that were still upraised, bracing nothing, and curled one around Tara’s shoulders, her hand patting somewhat aimlessly.
Her breathing slowed so that she no longer sounded like she was crying, and she licked her lips, tasting Tara. Suddenly she wished she was a cat so that she could wash her face with her tongue.
“Your heart is still beating so hard.” Tara lifted her face, her eyes still heavy with pleasure.
“That’s because of you. You make me insane.” She tucked a strand of hair behind Tara’s ear. Ears. She added a note to her to-do list. She really had been neglecting her lover’s ears.
“I think it’s highly debatable who drives who insane. I’m in favor of calling it a draw.” Tara squirmed up higher, so that they were face to face.
Her height – Tara was her height. She hadn’t really noticed before. Well, she had, but not really. And it was nice. Nice to have a girl-type lover who was her height, who could make her insane, and ….
“Willow, you’re babbling in there,” Tara observed.
“Uh-huh.” Willow nodded.
“Was it a good babble?” her lover asked, curious.
“Uh-huh,” she confirmed. Hearing Tara’s sigh of mock exasperation, she changed the subject. “I’m in favor of it being a draw, too.”
“Huh? Oh. Draw it is.” Tara shifted up over her, so that she became a blanket.
“Mmmmm, Tara on top. Yay!” She loved having Tara on her, feeling her weight pressing down on her. Tara-fingers brushed sweat-soaked strands of hair from her forehead and slowly Tara-lips lowered to hers.
She opened to the gentle pressure, aware that her lips were just a bit bruised, and tasted a bit of herself. But apparently Tara wasn’t simply going to kiss her lips. Tara gently kissed and licked her own juices from her cheeks and chin, the action sending little sparks from her face back to the sunball in her tummy. On second thought, she didn’t want to be a cat, because then Tara wouldn’t be doing this for her. And she thought it was one of the most loving things Tara had ever done.
“I was worried that I would hurt you,” Tara whispered. “You didn’t answer when I asked you how you were. That’s why I climbed off.”
“Uh, that thing you did last night, well, I think I did it.” She reassured her lover, trying at the same time to remember Tara saying anything. “But I’m fine, nothing broken. That felt really good.”
“Ah. I thought it did too, but I think I bruised your mouth.”
“Nope, all good here.” She denied that any of it hurt.
“Um, you’re right. You really shouldn’t play poker,” Tara stated quietly.
Willow backpedaled. “Uh, okay. So it’s just a little bit bruised, but it soooo didn’t hurt.”
“Uh-huh.”
“What?” She squeaked her question as the look in Tara’s eyes grew a bit dangerous.
“Well, I owed you this to begin with, but now you get it with interest.” Tara sat up, her knees on either side of her hips, lower legs and feet pressing into the bed for stability.
Pinned beneath her, Willow couldn’t escape the hands that were suddenly tickling her everywhere. No amount of squirming or writhing could shift Tara, and her frantic attempts to block her were easily brushed aside. Gasping, her heart hammering again, she gave up at last and lifted her hands up over her head.
“Uncle, uncle!” she cried out as Tara took one last poke at her exposed ribs.
“Better.” Tara said just the one word, but her eyes glinted and she ran her palms over her body. Willow felt her nipples harden again and whimpered.
Her lover lifted one eyebrow in amusement and shifted off her and off the bed.
“Tara!”
“Time, food, Buffy, Espresso Pump.” Tara lifted a hand and ticked each item off on her fingers.
Wonderful fingers that Willow still wanted even if they had just tickled her mercilessly. It was sooo not fair. She watched Tara slip into her robe.
“Uh, you’re really gonna not come back to bed?” she asked, her hope of convincing her lover to do so fading as Tara collected her kit.
“No, sweetie. I’m not.” Tara paused and looked down at her. “Are you going to shower here or back at your room?”
“I’m sorta out of clothes here, that, y’know, cover my hickies. And underwear too, although I know I could borrow some of yours.” She tried looking earnest.
“You could – or you could go without.”
“Co-commando?” she squeaked.
“Uh-huh.” Tara nodded, her lips quirking in her naughty smile. “Might be fun.”
“In public?”
“Or just here, for me, some day …,” Tara hinted.
“Ohhh.” She tried to digest that concept.
“Willow.” Tara waved a hand in front of her face. “Shower. Here or at your room?”
“My room, I guess. I have more clothing choices there. Do you want me to wait or will you come over after?” Silently she urged Tara to choose the first. That one had more options for delaying things further.
“You go on. I’ll finish up here and meet you at your room, okay, sweetie?” Tara’s hand caressed her cheek, her thumb rubbing over her lips.
“Can I have a kiss?” Willow tried one last ploy.
“Sure,” Tara agreed amiably. “If you get out of bed and stand up.”
Her face must have shown her disappointment because Tara giggled. She grumpily did as requested. She knew from the depth of passion in that kiss that Tara would have been hers again if they’d kissed in bed – even if Tara had been standing up at the time.
She broke the kiss and rested her forehead against Tara’s. “I’m going to miss you.”
“A half hour, tops, and I’ll be over. That’s not so long.”
“But then I have a whole evening with you there but having to be good and not touch you,” Willow whined. She belatedly realized that from Tara’s point of view, she didn’t have to – she chose to.
Tara kissed her again and stepped away. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
Willow watched her lover close the door behind her and sighed. No digs. Not from Tara, even when she provided an opening the size of the Grand Canyon. Crossing the room, she turned the water on in the sink and splashed her face. Almost grimly she pulled on her clothes, cringing a bit at the unpleasant stiffness of her dirty underwear.
She shrugged into her jacket, grabbed up her pack, and pulled the door closed behind her.
Not long, just an eternity.
But it was her choice.
Edited by: Triscuit7 at: 9/15/02 6:18:10 pm
by Darcy » Thu Sep 12, 2002 9:52 pm 
)
Just nine days! We'll miss your posts! 
)
I just realized that I did not give you and feedback on the last update before this one. I can't believe I didn't I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
