New Fic: Desire

[petal of roses]

On behalf of Rachael aka the vamp nurd I'm posting a new story of her.





Title: Desire.



Author: The Vamp Nurd [Rachael]



E-Mail: luckyol78shirt@yahoo.co.uk



Rating: R - NC17



Setting S4 to 6 AU.



Disclaimer: BTVS belongs to Joss, I play around but I will give them back, when I've finished.



Plot: Just a set of POVs



Pairing: W/T.



Chapter: I - Sleepy Time



Ep: The I In Team.



POV: Willow.



Rating: R



Betas: intricate mirage and petal of roses.





I'm watching her sleep. Her, I mean Tara. Ta-ra. The girl that I find myself attracted to. It's strange, and kinda new. I mean I don't check girls out, not anymore. Denial is the better part of valour.



But watching her sleep. She seems so peaceful, so calm... so...



Innocent.



Yeah, innocent.



Looking like nothing can hurt her. I move closer to her. She doesn't notice that I am moving, she smiles in her sleep. I want to kiss that smile.



Hang on, you want to kiss her?



I won't do it. I mean I want to do it, I want to do it. I really do want to, but I won't.



Coward.



I distract myself with some internal rambling, but my eyes fall to Tara's chest, she's breathing deeply. And her chest is rising and falling. Suddenly I'm distracted from everything I was thinking by Tara.



Her body, her beautiful body. Not just beautiful, sexy sensual. Look at those lips...



Oh.



I never noticed it, OK I may have of noticed it. But I'm noticing it right now. She has a body. She's pretty curvy, I mean why she hides it. If I had a body like hers...



I settle closer to her, she sighs in her sleep. She looks so beautiful. I wonder if I could kiss her now, in her sleep. As she slumbers. Wake her up as I continue to kiss her, holding her to me...



You can't do that Willow! Bad Willow. Baaaaaaaaad Willow, very very bad Willow.



I shift up closer, I want to reach out and touch her. Hold her, do what ever I want to her.



She grumbles in her sleep.



It's so cute, cute the way she pouts in her sleep. But my eyes don't stay long on that pout. They wander back to her cleavage. OK I admit I don't spend a lot looking at cleavage, until I looked at hers. Tara's. I try and move my eyes but nope, they're not moving no sirree...



Pervert.



A little perverted, OK I admit that. But then again it's my inner pervert asserting itself. Warning Inner Perv alarm. Oh it's talking, "Hey Will why don't you check out your friend's cleavage while she's asleep?" OK that's a nice suggestion! I'm not moving my eyes away from that cleavage no ma'am, I couldn't move my eyes away if the hellmouth opened up behind me.



Tank top, very short, almost riding up over that adorable rounded stomach. Hmm, that looks comfy. I bet it's soft, I could fall asleep on that stomach, or place kisses on it. As I lie basking in the afterglow of making love to her. She'll be stroking my hair watching me. Her blue eyes would be half closed sleepy almost... I blink, naughty thoughts! Naughty thoughts!



She starts to wake, but then she settles. I let my hand wander out, gently cupping her face, she leans in to my hand. I can't move, she nuzzles into my hand brushing a kiss against my skin. She smiles in her sleep, maybe because she's happy. She brushes another kiss against my skin, I don't think she knows what she's doing to me...



I shiver, the little tingly sensation on my skin then it makes its way to in between my legs.



I blink, then close my eyes. And unbidden thought comes into my mind. Tara nestled in between my legs. Those lips and that tongue...



I growl softly, cutting that fantasy off. I wrap myself around her, knowing in the morning, I'll have to do something about this desire.



I close my eyes. It feels good.



I can feel her hands on my shoulders. They're gentle, they smooth my hair, I like the way she touches me. I open my eyes. Tara's over me, not naked, but certainly undressed. Bra and panties set, it's certainly not lace, but it is silky, and blue. Like her eyes. She's looking at me. I can see what's thinking when she looks at me.



She wants me.



And I want her.



She leans over and kisses me tenderly. She's kissing me softly, there's no hurry, she pulls away slightly her eyes a half lidded, the blue has deepened into a beautiful blue. She looks at me, her fingers tips brush over my cheek I lean slightly, as she cups my face, "Just let me kiss you." She whispers softly, "Please Willow let me." She asks softly. I look back at then shyly dip my head, she leans down and presses her lips to mine. She parts my lips and moves her tongue inside. I reach for her letting my tongue tangle with hers. I want to speed up the kisses, but I let her. It's her show. She pulls away, looking at me, her eyes have darkened. She again leans forward like she's going to kiss me, but her lips brush over my neck I moan softly.



It's arousing if I have my throat kissed. Hey, 3 plus years avoiding getting bitten by vampires. And I like my throat getting kissed. Sod's law. Geez bloody British much? I really have been spending way to much time around Giles, next I'm probably going to ask for scones and custard tarts.



Tara's still worshipping my neck, I like it. She then moves down to my collarbone. She murmurs something about tasting sweet. She moves back up and tells me, "You taste so sweet."



"Sweet?"



"Like candy, something so soft." She grins, I kiss her grin. She kisses me back, then falls down my collarbone again, my skin feels tingly. Shivers down my spine. Straight to my legs. I move up against her. I realise I'm naked, the silk rubs up against me. I want more, I'm fed up with slowness but she won't let me. It's her game, she runs the show.



She's now on my breasts, I can see her looking at them. She smiles, as she gently cups my breast, flicking the nipple as she moves her head over to the other one. First a finger tip, then a tongue. Oh...



I swear that my nipple is hard enough to poke someone's eye out. But she doesn't seem to mind. Her mouth comes over the left one. Her hand covers the other, her fingers tug at the nipple at the same time as she suckles.



I'm aware that my hands are creeping down over her back, over her bra clasp. Then I flip her over. So I'm straddling her. She looks at me, her pupils are dilated, she's breathing hard. I like this image of her. I feel powerful. I feel sexy. I lean over and kiss her. She gently kisses me back, as I snap open her bra. I carefully remove her bra and throw it on the floor. I pull away.



"I love you." She says softly, I can feel how scared she is. I want to hold her protect her from what ever is going to hurt her.



I say softly, "I love you too."



I lean down and place kisses on her lips. I don't know what's she scared for. But her arms are wrapped tightly around me. Bringing me to her. Nipple kissage! That feels so...



I open my eyes it's Tara's room again, there's no nakedness, just me. Snuggled up to my friend. Tara's still asleep, but I lean over kiss her cheek, then rest my head on her shoulders and close my eyes and fall back to sleep.



Well I did something. I kissed her.



***



Snuggled together when I woke up, I was entangled in her. I couldn't help but smile as I did, her body felt so soft and warm, and safe. I could stay here for years, because I felt so safe.



She woke up, smiling, she greets me with a smile. I can't help but smile back. She asks me if I slept well. I nod, not trusting my voice, if I let my voice go it would have probably said, "Hey Tara I had a really sexy fantasy about you last night, so yeah I slept like a baby. I mean you told me that you loved me, and I told you that I loved you. So I slept well."



I ask how she slept. She stretches slightly, she tells me fine, spells always tire her out. We then untangled ourselves, I tried to be good but Tara-skin brushing up against mine, doesn't make for normal Willowy rambling, it makes for X-rated Willowy rambling. I went for a shower...



A cold shower. Quench my desire.



I turn on the cold water tap. "Seems a little too cold to me." I hear a voice in my ear.



It's Tara's, saying things in my head, she's there, in my head dropping her robe so she walks naked towards me. She is beautiful. She comes up behind me, holding me. Her hands move over my stomach, then I shut the shower off, cutting that fantasy off.



I can't let myself wallow in these feelings, because I know it's not healthy, fantasies are healthy, but when you're going back into the room with the object of those fantasies, who you know is gay, but you don't... You don't what to push your luck. She might not be attracted to you. She might... Oh who am I kidding? I want Tara, and a fantasy won't do any harm will it? Nope.



I close my eyes leaning slightly. Tara's next to me, her lips are at my ear, they kiss the lobe, I feel her tongue flicking out then she draws her teeth over my ear lobe. I gasp, I can almost see her smile, then her hand moves down, over my breasts stroking the nipples, then onto my thigh



A loud crash interrupts my fantasy, the shower door had swung back on its hinges. I look at myself, I'm nearly flashing to the world and my hand is close to my... haven't got time! Tara will be wondering where I am.



I was giving her a goodbye hug, to thank her for the doll's eye crystal that I was scared to take before, but now I couldn't resist it. When I turned my head, her head was closer...



And we - I - couldn't resist it, I had to kiss her.



So I did, I kissed her, full on the lips. She reacted in a way, that I had never expected, or never hoped, I knew that Tara was gay, but for her to kiss me back.



Wow.



It felt like an age until I pulled away, I blinked, then I told her, "Wow."



She was embarrassed, but I managed to get her to look at me, I told her that I had feelings for her. She made me feel safe, she did. I'm not the best to explain how I feel, 'cause I must of started babbling, but she looked at me, smiling, then I think when she thought I'd said enough she leaned in and kissed me tenderly.



She stopped me, by kissing me again, but her kiss was different from Oz's and Xander's. I mean Xander was kissing like he was permanently hungry. It was lustful, I guess it was because he lusted after me, he wasn't in love with me, he was with Cordelia or something akin to it, but he lusted after me. Oz's was calmer more sensual, I could always feel that he loved me in his kisses. But Tara's was a mix, a sensual lustful kiss. I couldn't help but kiss her back. We must have stood there for about ten minutes, just kissing, exploring each other's mouth.



She pulled away, then she stammered, "W-Willow w-would y-you." She bit her lip. Trying to say something. I looked into her eyes. Asking what was wrong. Tara smiles, she lowers her head slightly, just for a second, a curtain of blonde hair falls over her face, I reach out pushing it away from her face, she has the softest hair, I tuck her hair behind her ear, her eyes smile, then she gazes into mine, "Would you like to be..." she asks.



"Girlfriends?" I asked, hoping that I wasn't jumping the gun. "I mean girlfriends like you know with the snuggles and the making out, and the kissing and the um..." I kinda trail off, trying to think what else I could say, but there wasn't anything else to say.



She nodded, I took her hand then told her, my heart doing a little half jump half happy dance, "I would love to be yours." I tell her softly. She blinks, her eyes went wide, it was almost like she wasn't expecting me to say that. But I said it.



So we became girlfriends. My desire maybe new, but it knows what it wants, it happens to be some one that I made friends with. A magical girl, she's like a powerful version of me. And she is more powerful than I could be. It's not just about the magic, it was never about the magic, it's about the way I feel. What Tara does to me, when I look into her eyes, I get lost. I drown in those blue eyes, soft and gentle, holding me, making me feel safe, cared for, loved even, all in those eyes of blue. Everything about her makes me feel warm, safe even loved, protected. This is my special place.



I ask if we could go out, tonight, if she wasn't doing anything. She wasn't, so I have a date with Tara tonight. I kiss her again, this time on the cheek, then bring her into another full body hug. I like how it feels. I'm so wrapped up in Tara, then I remember got to go back to my dorm. Damn I wish I could stay here. I force myself to say goodbye, I don't want to go. But I have to, I nuzzle into her neck, kissing it, making her shiver.



I then really have to leave. She kisses me again, on the cheek, "See you later."



I smile, returning her sentiment.



Buffy didn't come in last night, I can figure out why. Riley, probably horny after doing her kill kill thing. I'm again distracted from my musing as I wander over to the window, staring out. Then I get the call. To go over to Giles' to help him.



Looks like I'm not going to have a date with Tara tonight. Riley's group tried to kill Buffy, so we're all on a hit list.



I have to cancel. Damn.



***



to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow: What the heck was that?

Tara: I don't know but the petals are off

A New Man

Edited by: petal of roses at: 5/9/04 1:40 am

[browsingviewer]

I absolutely loved it!

Excellent start!

Can't wait to more!



-browsingviewer

[musicmad10]

Hi

I really like this so far, it's really good the way you've written Willow's thoughts! I hope you carry on soon!

Luv Hannah

[Footman311]

Those fantasies were defenitly what a great start!



can't wait to read some more

Lifes a bowl of punch G'head and spike it-Nick Hexum

[snuggle79]

Loved it!

Can't wait for more!



s79

I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[pipsberg]

Wow I really love this story. I like that it's Willow's pov and that we see into her daydreams and fantasies as well.. very cool. More please!!

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[lil wiccan]

loved it! very nice start!... can't wait for the updates...hehe

"How can i/ Beleive that my heart will find/ Someone like you/ You see the really me/ No in betweens/ I had nowhere to hide/ You took away the walls around me/ Make me feel safe to share my truth/ I see the heavens open/ A heart that once was broken/ It's holding nothing back/ Now that i found you

[sam darls]

Ooh..I loved this so far Can't wait to read more. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[petal of roses]

Here's the next chapter. Much thanks to all the kittens who replied, hope you all enjoy the update.





Chapter II - Watching



Ep: Goodbye Iowa



POV: Tara



Rating: NC-17





She looks peaceful. Just lying there. I wonder what she's thinking. She's staying with me, until the whole Riley thing blows over. I watch her for a few minutes more. Her eyes stare into nothing, I can see a little frown appearing. She looks so beautiful like this, I could watch her for hours.



She sighs, then I move up to her, "Hey."



She smiles, "Hey."



"What's up?"



She turns to me, "Just imagining how helpless I'd feel if I lost you." She reaches for my hand, "You're one of the most important things in my life." She looks at me.



I nod, she makes me shy. She's so strong and confident, why is she here with me? "If you were injured, and taken away from me. And I couldn't get to you. I'd be worried, y'know." She squeezes my hand. She then wraps her arms around me. I hug her, she smiles. I like her this close. She sighs softly, I think she likes me hugging her.



She pulls away, "I'm going for a shower."



I nod, she grins, "Wanna come with me?"



I blush, then shake my head, "I had a shower this morning."



Willow flirts again, "I know, I watched you drying yourself. As you bent over..."



I pull her back into my arms, kissing her. She moans, in such a way that it makes me feel weak. It may have started out hungry, it moves to a tender kiss, from which I pull back. She has a little bit of dazed look on her face. But she leans in and kisses me again. Before she pulls away.



"Shower time." She says huskily. "Cold shower."



***



I'm lying down. I close my eyes. I'm imagining Willow holding me. Her green eyes burning down into my eyes. She makes me feel beautiful, the way she looks at me.



Like I am -.



I shut the thought off. I'm not special. I screwed up that spell, to protect myself. I screwed up that spell. It wouldn't of made any difference but still, I deceived my girlfriend.



But why does Willow make me feel this good?



I loose myself in my fantasy again. Not wanting to answer any of my own questions.



Willow's eyes are looking at me, they seem to be waiting. Then she smiles, she gets on to the bed, smiling. She prowls, she moves up to me, kissing my lips, just for a second then she looks back into my eyes, then leans down and kisses me fully. She rests her hands on my hips, they are stroking my hips, pulling away she looks into my eyes. All I see is love in those eyes, then it shifts, the green darkens she looks lustful with those jade eyes. She pulls the cover away from me. Her eyes have already undressed me, but her hands are already to catch up. She moves onto me, straddling my hips, but she lies on top of me. She smiles, "You're beautiful. You know that Tara?"



I look away embarrassed, but she gently brings my head back, "You are." She says softly. Leaning up and kissing my temple. Her hand moves through my hair, using it to guide my face until she's kissing me again. This time there's no hurry. We kiss, not letting it go to far. Then she pulls away, smiling. She nuzzles into my neck, her hands are moving over my shoulders, pushing off my bra straps. Then she reaches around to unclip my bra.



She takes her lips away from mine. Looking at me, she moves her lips down to my neck. Kissing down until she reaches my collarbone. Giving it a playful lick. She smiles then moves her head down, "Aren't you beautiful?" She says smiling, taking my bra off. "Tara's gorgeous."



I look away, but she guides my face back to look at her. Then she bends her head down and kisses me on my breast bone. Then her hair tickles my skin. I giggle, she smiles. I tangle my hands into her hair. Willow nuzzles into my breasts. She moves her hand over my left breast, her face moving down over my other nipple. She smiles as she leans down and kisses it gently, then she runs her tongue over it. I inhale sharply, then she smiles and reaches over then suckles. Her hand pinches my other nipple in time of her suckling. I move my torso as she lavishes attention on my breasts.



My body is getting impatient. It wants more of my lover Willow. She pulls away then smiles, and moves her lips over my belly. Teasing my navel. Kissing it, then dipping her tongue into my belly button. She is content to lavish attention on my stomach. I stroke her hair, watching her. She seems so beautiful. She looks up at me, I get lost in her green eyes. She smiles then moves back and kisses me softly. Full body contact. She's naked, bar a pair of black bikini like panties. She moves up against me, her nipples brushing against mine. I sigh, then she pulls away, then her hand moves down. I move my hand to the soft red hair, Willow tilts her head slightly, then her hand reaches my sex. She cups my sex. "I love you." She whispers softly, as she moves her fingers. I move my arm over the small of her back. Then she enters me. I gasp softly, she smiles. Then her thumb moves over my clit. She's gentle. I weave my fingers through her red hair, my arms tightens around her.



I don't know how long we move like this. But her lips are on mine, kissing me. She is inside me. I start to move harder against her. She deepens her thrusts cupping my ass. I'm close. She knows this. And responds in kind. Reacting to my needs and wants. Our needs and wants. Her mouth moves away, I miss her kisses. She looks into my eyes... "I love you." She whispers softly.



I can feel my orgasm creeping up inside me...



***



Willow smiles, "Hey."



I blink, "Hey." She's next to me, I didn't even hear the door. She smiles, her hair's drying. I can almost smell her hair. She looks so adorable in those pink cow print pjs. She smiles, her skin is slightly flushed. She's under the covers with me.



Willow looks at me, "Something wrong?" She looks curiously into my eyes. Her eyes are beautiful. She's looking at me searching for something.



"I'm fine." I tell her. I kiss her gently, she responds kissing me back, Goddess she's so kissable. She moves her hand into my hair, then my cheek, stroking my skin, I pull away, looking at her.



Willow pouts then snuggles up closer to me, I smile, "I think I'm in need of some snuggle treatment." I tell her.



Willow smiles, "I can provide that." She wiggles her eyebrows.



I smile, then we snuggle together. She switches off the light, I fall asleep, smiling as I do.



***



I open my eyes, Willow's eyes are looking into mine, "Hey." She whispers softly, "I brought breakfast."



I look over her shoulder. Coffee and muffins. "Thank you."



She steals another kiss, "I guess I'm off, sorry Tara, I've got a class." She kisses me again for longer this time, "See you later." She grabs her books and leaves. I chuckle then smile.



I get up. And then help myself to the breakfast.



***



to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow: What the heck was that?

Tara: I don't know but the petals are off

A New Man

[sam darls]

That was so beautiful . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[pipsberg]

This is a very beautiful story. I love the switch in pov. Great job..

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[3peanuts]

I just picked this fic up...



Gods, it's so sweet...



-R-

"I like Amber Benson 'cause she's a proletarian" Sarabiga

Keynes was right

[snuggle79]

Awesome!



s79

I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[justkazy]

Hey



like the different POV's..keep up the good work

"I'd cry..i would die if i lost you"-Alex Parks...I love you, baby!

[SJ]

Great fic

[petal of roses]

Here's the next chapter. Much thanks to sam, pipsberg, 3peanuts, snuggle79, justkazy and SJ for your lovely feedback and thanks to everyone else who read the story .





Chapter III - Thinking.



Ep: This Year's Girl.



POV: Willow



Rating: R





Watching Tara sleep here gives me a sense of peace. The way her body curls up to mine. I'm safe here. She's safe. I'm safe. Faith is a million miles away from us. She can't hurt me here.



Tara smiles in her sleep. I look at her, she looks so peaceful. I snuggle up closer, stroking her hair. She smiles again. Her body is so warm. I smile, then stroke her hair again. It's so soft.



I sigh. She listened to me. When I explained about Faith. She just let me talk about it. No one has just listened to me like she does. She never judged when I told her about the whole fluke thing. She was simply there. Listening to me, letting me talk about what had happened. She never said anything she just let me pour my feelings out.



A little voice in my head nags at me about the whole Oz - Veruca deal was his pay back. Yeah, hey Will, meet my groupie. 'Cause you fluked with Xander, I'll have sex -.



Tara stirs, "Will?" Her hand rubs my tummy, "W-what's wrong...?" She looks at me. How does she do that? She blinks sleepily, "Will?"



"Nothing."



She blinks then her eyes look at me, "Something's w-wrong Will?."



I look at her, "I was just thinking about Oz."



She looks at me, then she strokes my face, "Hurts?"



I sigh, "This Faith thing brings up feelings that I guess I don't want to deal with."



Tara leads up and kisses me on the temple. "It's past Will."



I look at her, "I know." She holds me tightly, "I just don't like it."



She reaches up and strokes my hair, "I'm here if you need me. You can talk to me about it if you need too."



"I don't wanna talk." I reply softly, she nods. "Snuggle?"



She snuggles closer, I wrap myself around her. Inhaling her scent, breathing in her essence. Taking comfort from what she offers me. "It hurts so much." I whisper softly.



She brushes a kiss over my temple, "I felt so left out. I mean Buffy thought I wasn't cool enough. Xander never loved me, Oz..." I sigh, "I wasn't what he needed. He wanted some slut who he could -."



"Don't say that W-Willow." She stammers, "They need you Willow." She says.



I sigh, "I wanted to be helpful. When I tried to be helpful, it wasn't worth it." Her arms tighten around me.



"You're a s-scooby. You save the world."



I smile, "I'm sorry Tara, I'm just..."



Her finger is on my lips, "You don't need to say anything." She bends down and kisses me. If I was feeling sorry for myself, she washes it away. Her kisses tell me that I am needed, and wanted. My friends may be drifting apart, but there's one place where I will always be wanted.



I pull away, she smiles lopsidedly, "Better?" She asks me. She looks into my eyes, her cool calm blue ones make me want to be comforted by her, just have her here, stroking my hair, just being Tara.



"Much." I reply, she then snuggles up to me. I sigh then she kisses me softly, "Is this a goodnight kiss?"



"Do you want it to be?" She asks me.



I shake my head. I look at her, she blushes and half smiles. I smile, then kiss her. "You always seem to be there when I need you." I tell her softly.



Tara smiles, then kisses me softly. Stroking my hair. I pull away, she gazes into my eyes. What is she looking at me for? Can't she see that she’s the beautiful one?



She kisses my forehead, then yawns. I grin, "I think you need some sleep." I add, kissing her on the lips.



She yawns again, then I snuggle up against her. She snuggles up to me, resting her head against my shoulder. I sigh then she closes her eyes, and her breathing goes steady.



I tilt my head slightly, just to look at her, she looks so peaceful there. Just lying there. She seems so peaceful. I wonder what she's thinking about. I need her, she's my touchstone.



I inhale softly, her breathing evens out. I lie in her bed looking up at the ceiling. The room's so peaceful, just being here. With Tara. My own personal secret. How would I cope without her?



Poof I wish. I nearly killed my friends. For what? Nothing. Just more guilt and having to shut Spike up with a chocolate chip cookie. I guess I can only say sorry with my cookies.



But with Tara, I don't need to be out of control, throwing spells around, I've got her to confide in.



Thank you Tara.



Thank you so much.



***



to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow: What the heck was that?

Tara: I don't know but the petals are off

A New Man

[sam darls]

That was so beautiful . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[pipsberg]

Another great update! Thanks so much and I look forward to more...

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[Tempest Duer]

This is a lovely fic. These first three chapers are just... wow.

Saying that up is down will not make up, down.



~Gene Burns

[barnabasvamp]

Very happy to see another update for this story. Look forward to the Tara POV for this one!



It was so Willow, with all those thoughts running around in her head.



BV

It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

[SJ]

Great update,lovely writing

[snuggle79]

Great work, as always!



s79

I look at horses and I see really big ponies.

The greatest thing you'll learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

[petal of roses]

Here's another update. At first they were 2 different parts but now it's one chapter, the first part is from Tara's POV and the second part is from Willow's POV.

Much thanks from Rachael (the writer) to Sam, pipsberg, Tempest Duer, barnabasvamp, SJ and Snuggle79 for leaving feedback and to all the other readers. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.





Chapter: IV Part 1 - Stop Slow Down.



Ep: Who Are You



POV: Tara



Rating: NC-17





Are we doing this?



I mean we did do it.



We made love.



Not properly.



It was part of a ritual, to find Buffy, the Slayer. We simulated sex, now that was...Amazing, but I couldn't let myself loose control, the 'petite morte' she was having me entranced. She entrances me. The kiss she gave me when I said I was hers. A mind blowing kiss. She held me for the longest time, kissing me, whispering soft words into my ears. Telling me that I was the most important person in her life. She understood how important it was for me to say that.



Maybe that's why she entered the nether realms like that. I held her on this plane, but she soon returned to me. Gasping for air, and scared. She looked so scared. I had to take her, hold her. I rest her head on my shoulder.



Her aura is fuzzy, but she's still breathing hard. She starts running her hands over my back. I gently pull away from her, her aura's not fuzzy anymore, it's full of desire. Her lips are on my neck, kissing me, she's nuzzling into my neck. Her arms come to hold me around the waist. Holding me to her, "Will."



"What?" She asks me, her green eyes still fuzzy with desire.



I don't want to hurt her but I know what she was doing, "We can't do this."



She looks like a kicked puppy, "Tara?" She pauses then she figures it out, "I'm sorry."



I say, "It's OK. Are you alright?" I ask her. Bringing my arms around her, hugging her.





She shakes her head, "You were right. Buffy isn't herself, she's Faith."



I blink, "Faith?"



"Yeah, I think they switched. I saw Riley and Faith y'know sleeping like the naked together. And Buffy in the Van, a Van. I think they used some sort of switcher..."



"Probably a katra. We'll conjure one tomorrow, it's late, and I'm tired." I tell her, trying to distance myself from those thoughts that Willow had inadvertently conjured up in my mind. Her naked on my bed...With me naked with her, making love to her.



Willow looks at me. Then she smiles, "I need a shower."



"Me too."



***



We both find robes and towels. I'm standing in the shower. Trying to not think about the fact that Willow wanted me. I could see it in her eyes. She looked so...hungry. If I had let her, she would have ravished me. Somehow that doesn't sound as a bad idea. I can imagine Willow's hand moving over my body. Her green eyes burning...I’m rubbing soap over my shoulders. Trying to make my mind clear. I'm not ready for that. I don't even know if Willow will stay with me. If Oz turns up...



No, get back on track. Shower then sleep. I finish my shower, rinsing my body clear of any soap or shampoo.



Then I feel it. The shivers. I gasp. And close my eyes. Willow's in the shower with me. Her hands are moving over my body. Her lips are on mine. She's kissing me hard. Her hands move down. She pushes me against the wall, then suddenly we're lying down, I don’t know where we are. She’s on top of me, her mouth is on my pulse point. Her hands move down my body, the slightest of touches on my nipples. I thread my fingers though her hair and bring her up to kiss her. I claim her mouth hungrily wanting to taste her. I want to taste every part of her. She isn't resisting. I push her up against the bed, flipping her over. Turning the tables, she gasps, then she leans down slightly, I claim her mouth. Hands moving over shoulder blades, nails raking over soft skin. Then we're in my bedroom, lying down. I'm on top of her, her neck is arched. My hand is between her legs, inside of her, deeply inside of her. She gasps and whimpers. "Tara.... Tara... TARA..."



I whisper, "Will-." then it's cut off, I hear something of a low moan. I open my eyes, I'm pressed against the wall, I can feel Willow doing the same. I put my hand against the wall. I can feel Willow on the other side...



I blink the tears away, "I love you Willow." I say softly, I knew that for a long long time, I knew it the first time I saw her. I have the energy to turn the shower off. Still shaking from the after effects of the spell.



I towel dry myself. I dress in my usual nightwear, and wrap my robe around myself. Then step out of the shower, Willow looks at me, I smile, "Hey."



She smiles, then walks up to me, and hugs me. "How can I resist not hugging you in that robe?" I feel the after shock of being connected to her.



I blush, then she takes my hand and kisses it, then leads me back into the dorm. Making me sit down as she dries my hair.



I sigh as she dries my hair, running her fingers through my hair. Her careful fingers. Goddess, does she know how sexy this is? She seems not to notice. She continues to dry my hair.



When I'm ready, I lead her to the bed. We drop our robes, I see her in her normal pjs, tartan ones, I'm in my usual thin strapped tee with shorts. I hang them up, then I walk back to the bed, she's already under the covers, waiting for me. I get under the covers, she snuggles up to me.



Willow whispers softly, "Night."



"Night."



***



She's lying in my arms. She's asleep. I stroke her face, she smiles.



I was her anchor keeping her here, in the nether realms spell, she instinctively trusted me. I've never had anyone trust me, bar my mother. Willow's the first person I've let in. Still scared that they are going to hurt me.



But Willow felt like a rush of colour into my life. That untapped power...so powerful yet gentle. She's like an element of nature. They can be so powerful, but can be extremely gentle.



But I didn't notice that first.



I noticed her hair, bright red. Then her eyes green...



Her almost child like features. They are extremely cute, but I think she's beautiful now. Especially when she's asleep, she looks like nothing can hurt her, all she wants is to sleep. She's so peaceful, I could watch her all night, when she's like this.



I noticed her before I noticed her power.



"Tara?" She says softly.



I look down, "Will?"



She smiles, "Couldn't sleep, with out my Tara-pillow."



I smile, then settle back down, "I'm sorry," I tell her, "Just a little wired."



Willow pauses, then she tells me, "I know." She looks at me, "That spell, was disturbing, but it felt uncomfortable."



"Uncomfortable?"



"My desire." She looks at me, "I've never felt this way for..."



"A girl?" I ask, I think it's harsher than I really wanted it to be, because she recoils slightly.



"No." She looks at me, her green eyes are beading with tears.



"Shh, darling, shh." I kiss her softly, I didn't mean to hurt her.



"Just that, I mean the spell. It was like everything was stripped away. I'm sorry, if I made you feel uncomfortable." She looks away, "I mean I know that you're not used to me trying to grope you..."



I look at her, "The nether realms are pretty powerful, I mean." I cut her off before she babbles and gets out of breath, her skill at babbling is very cute, but I sometimes have to cut her off.



She smiles, "Yeah, but I still can't believe it was that intense, I needed you. To hold me." She continues, "You were keeping me safe. I felt the pull of you. You guided me back."



"I was your anchor sweetie." I say softly. She looks into my eyes, her green eyes look at me, there's something more in those eyes than just adoration. She looks down.



Willow looks thoughtful, she turns her eyes back to mine, "I guess you were much more, but it certainly gave me an image that I want to forget."



"Faith and Riley?" I ask.



Willow nods, she looks troubled, but I know what's wrong. Faith messing with her. I hold her, stroking her hair. She smiles. I wonder what's she thinking, her mind's always busy, "What are you thinking?" I ask her softly.



She looks at me then she cups my face, "Because you saw it. You were the first one to notice it. My girlfriend." She kisses me again. "It's just weird, maybe it's your power. You see things we miss."



I blush, flattered by her. She leans in kissing me gently, "Sleep, Tara."



I nod, then she settles down on me. I hold her. Then my eyes fall shut.



***



I wake up. Willow is curled up next to me, she smiles. "Hey." She kisses me on the forehead, "I looked up the katra, and I got the stuff and some breakfast." She tells me.



I yawn, she giggles. The she looks at me, her green eyes are unreadable, she seems thoughtful. But she presses a tender kiss against my lips, "Thank you for keeping me safe."



I nod speechless. She smiles and kisses me again, "Thank you."



***



Willow guides me back to her dorm. She wants me to stay here. With her tonight. We guessed that Buffy will be with Riley. So she wants me to stay in her dorm.



She leads me inside, a big fluffy dog is lying on her bed, she smiles, "Welcome to my dorm." She smiles, then leads me over to her bed.



I sit down, she sits down, "So how was it?"



"H-huh?"



"Your first big scooby adventure?" She asks.



"Oh, right it was c-cool." I tell her. Nodding while I do, she looks so understanding.



She smiles, then kisses me on the lips, "You've had your first scooby adventure, I promise there will be more." She says.



I giggle, "I look forward to it."



She smiles, then kisses me. "So do I." She whispers softly.



***



==============================================





Chapter IV Part 2 - Confused.



Ep: Who Are You?



POV: Willow



Rating NC-17.





I'm in the shower. I want to push the image of Faith with Riley out of my mind. Faith in Buffy...I bet the mayor had something to do with that. I push those images away.



Tara comes in my mind. My body istantly responds to her. I know I want her. I just have this energy I need to use up. She makes me feel this way, sexy. She makes me so good.



I close my eyes, I'm with Tara. I'm moving towards her. She's naked in front of me. I move close. Then my hands are moving over her body, she's so beautiful. I kiss her, kissing her hard. I move my hands down. I want to touch every part of her, I need to complete this circuit. I push her against the wall, then suddenly we're lying down, in my dorm room. I'm on top of Tara, my mouth is on her pulse point. I want to devour you Tara, I want every part of you. My hands move down her body, the slightest of touches on her nipples. Teasing her, I want to taste her more and more. She threads her fingers though my hair and brings me up to kiss her. She claims my mouth hungrily, she wants to taste me. I don't resist anything, I don't want to resist. She pushes me up against the bed, flipping me over. Turning the tables I gasp, then I lean down slightly, Tara claims my mouth. Hands moving over shoulder blades, nails raking over soft skin. Then we're in her bedroom, lying down. She on top of me, I'm arching my neck up, wanting her lips and tongue on my skin. Tara's hand is between my legs, inside of me, deeply inside of me. I need this, she knows me. She wants me, her almost rough love making is what I need. I think I'm going to come, I am going to come. Tara baby, I need you...I gasp and whimper. "Tara.... Tara... TARA..."



I hear her whisper, "Will-." then it's cut off, I hear something of a low moan, it's me. I open my eyes, I'm pressed against the wall, I can feel Tara doing the same. I put my hand against the wall. I can feel Tara on the other side...



I press my head against the hand against the wall to steady myself, Tara's on the other side, I smile. I want to be there, I want to be hold by her. I'm in love with her, this is no bolt from the blue. How could I not be in love with her? I don't know. I want to be with her.



I towel dry myself. I dress in my usual nightwear, and wrap my robe around myself. Then step out of the shower, I wait for a couple of minutes. Then I see Tara appear. I look at her, she smiles, "Hey." She looks so good in that robe.



I smile smiles, then I walk up to her, and hug her. Hmm, Tara hugs, Tara body. "How can I resist not hugging you in that robe?" I ask, I feel her stiffen, but she then relaxes into my embrace.



Tara blushes, then I take her hand and kiss it, then I take her hand and lead her back into the dorm. I make her sit down 'cause I'm going to dry her hair, it's still wet, I grab a towel.



Tara sighs as I dry her hair, I almost whimper when I hear it. I'm content to run my fingers through her hair. Careful not to be too harsh. This is sexy, I've dried hair before usually mine or Buffy's but it never felt like this.



When Tara's ready, she takes my hand then leads me to the bed. We drop our robes, I'm in my normal pjs, tartan ones this time, she's in her usual thin strapped tee with shorts, I wish I had the courage to lick my lips, and stare at her like this. Tara takes them both then she hangs them up, then I watch as she walks back to the bed, I'm already under the covers, I'm wait for her. She gets under the covers, I snuggle up to her.



I whisper softly, "Night."



"Night." I hear her say.



***



I'm lying dozing in her arms, I feel safe here, then I notice that I'm missing something, my eyelid flutter open, she has moved. I'm not liking this.



"Tara?" I say softly. Smiling as I watch her. She looks thoughtful, I wonder what she's thinking.



She looks down, "Will?"



She smiles, "Couldn't sleep, with out my Tara-pillow." I feel a tiny pout appear.



Tara smiles, then she settles back down, "I'm sorry," She tells me, "Just a little wired."



I pause, then I tell her, "I know." I looks at her, "That spell, was disturbing, but it felt uncomfortable."



"Uncomfortable?"



"My desire." I look at her, "I've never felt this way for..." I want to explain, how intense it felt to be next to her. In that spell, in that realm.



"A girl?" She asks, I recoil slightly, ashamed that she could think that way, but what else could she think?



"No." I look at her, I can't help it, I feel tears start.



"Shh, darling, shh." She kisses me softly, I know she didn't mean to hurt me, I've got a past, and she's thinking I've never thought about this sort of thing with a girl before. BT no. AT yes. A million times yes, but it was never that intense. Sometimes all I can think about is making love to you Tara.



"Just that, I mean the spell. It was like everything was stripped away. I'm sorry, if I made you feel uncomfortable." I look away, ashamed that I was like that, "I mean I know that you're not used to me trying to grope you..."



Tara looks at me, "The nether realms are pretty powerful, I mean." She cuts me off before I start to babble. How does she know I'm going to babble?



I smile, "Yeah, but I still can't believe it was that intense, I needed you. To hold me." I continue, trying to tell her how important she was to me "You were keeping me safe. I felt the pull of you. You guided me back."



"I was your anchor sweetie." She says softly. I look into her eyes, how can I say this? She was the one I was thinking about when I was in the shower, sexual dynamo me! I was thinking about her. It made me finally realise that I am in love with her. I look down slightly.



I look back at her, "I guess you were much more, but it certainly gave me an image that I want to forget." And that's the truth, despite the sweetness of Tara's love, and comfort, it still boils down to that.



"Faith and Riley?" She asks.



I nod, I turn away slightly, unwilling to acknowledge the fact that it troubles me, then I feel her arms around me, holding me, stroking my hair. I smile. I guess she's wondering what's I'm thinking, my mind's always busy, "What are you thinking?" She asks me softly.



I look at her, adoringly then I cup her face, "Because you saw it. You were the first one to notice it. My girlfriend." I kiss her again, proud, adoring her. "It's just weird, maybe it's your power. You see things we miss."



She blushes, I smile, then kiss her gently, "Sleep, Tara." Telling her to sleep, to calm us both.



I watch her nod, then I settle down on her, moving to cover her body with mine. I feel her arms holding me. Then I fall asleep in her arms.



***



I watch her, I've done all my searching and shopping gal bit, I'm just waiting for her to wake up. She looks so peaceful. Then she opens her eyes, then she turns to look at me, "Hey." I smile, then lean and kiss her forehead, first taste of Tara skin in the morning, "I looked up the katra, and I got the stuff and some breakfast." I add.



How adorable is she? I watch her yawn I giggle unable stop myself. Then I look at her. This woman held me safe, she called me back, she found me, she did this. I lean close, inhaling everything that makes her, kissing her tenderly, I wish I could tell her, "Thank you for keeping me safe." If I wanted to say what my heart wants me to, "I love you Tara." I can't, not yet, anyway. Too much to deal with.



I watch her nod, she seems lost for words, I smile. Wanting to put her at ease. "Thank you." I whisper kissing her.



***



I guide her back to my dorm. I want her to stay with me. Have her in my bed. Buffy won't be here, she'll probably be with Riley, uh oh problems! So I want her to stay, I don't want to be alone.



I lead her inside, taking in the dorm room, my fluffy dog is where I left him. "Welcome to my dorm." I grin, as I lead her to my bed.



I watch as she sits, then I sit, and ask her, "So how was it?" I want to hear her option of the scooby adventure.



She looks blank. "H-huh?"



"Your first big scooby adventure." I prompt.



She nods then says, "Oh, right it was c-cool." I see that she's nervous.



I smile, then take a sample of Tara lips, hmm yummy, "You've had your first scooby adventure, I promise there will be more." I want to share this with her, make the blow of the fact that we are girlfriends a lot less on my friends.



She giggles, it's so adorable, "I look forward to it." She says, I see her smile again.



I smile at her, then lean in, kissing her gently, "So do I." I whisper, afraid that I'll break this spell we've created, cast over us.



***



to be continued

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow: What the heck was that?

Tara: I don't know but the petals are off

A New Man

[pipsberg]

Rachel,



This was beautiful! I love your build up to intimacy and how you continue to switch between the different POVs. I eagerly look forward to more.

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[sam darls]

That was so incredibly beautiful . Love sam xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[SJ]

Great updates,love the different povs,you capture Willow&Tara so well