Fic: Since You've Been Gone

[Chance]

Okay, so I was on a roll, had music in my head, and figured, why the hell not? I've been taking so damn long, and I felt kinda bad. Anyway... yeah, here ya go...

Rating: Probably an R, it'll probably get racy… and it's Faith, language and such.
Disclaimer: I feel like I'm a little kid playing with her big brother's very expensive, very complex toys and if I got caught I'd be in trouble. But, I'll put 'em back where I found em! And I'll so be careful! (And I don't own 'em, and I'm not making money from this.)
Note: The song is "Trying", Lifehouse.

As Soon As You Were Gone
Chance

Chapter 14: One Step Back To You

~ Could you let down your hair and be transparent for awhile? Just a little while to see if you're human after all. ~

Faith stepped into the house, taking a deep breath for strength. This was going to be quite the interesting situation. The more she thought about it, the inner optimist in the back of her head told her that Tara, Willow, Dawn - they'd speak up for her. They'd tell Buffy she was truthful, she really had recovered. They'd tell Buffy how gentle she was with them, how careful she was to protect them. It was amazing to her to even have found her inner optimist again. She thought it had died a long time ago, but these girls - this family - had restored her faith in herself. She chuckled. Faith's restored faith.

She heard Buffy scowl behind her, knowing she heard the chuckle. She couldn't help being calm about all of this. She wouldn't fight Buffy, not anymore. She was here to prove that she could be good, and if this was something she had to do to prove it, so be it. She turned to look at the older girl. "Maybe you should let me get Willow and Tara. Dawn's in bed by now, and we might want to wait till they see you before we wake her up."

Buffy scoffed, but realized Faith made sense. "Alright, fine. Go get them."

Faith nodded, keeping quiet, although she knew it was at least a step in the right direction. She climbed the steps, thinking about how to say this in the most appropriate way possible. In the end, she just decided that there was no gentle way to break this news.

* * *

Tara was nuzzled into Willow's neck, wrapped up in her body, enjoying the feeling of her lover's skin and the rise and fall of her belly. She wasn't asleep, just relaxed. She heard Faith coming up the stairs, but didn't think much of it. Willow for her part was on the cusp of sleep and consciousness. Neither of them had much desire to move, the warmth was comforting enough to make them lazy for the next few hours. Tara perked a bit in surprise when Faith knocked on their door. The brunette practically never disturbed them, unless it was a real emergency. But the phone hadn't rung, and Dawn was already gone. She rose from bed, Willow's eyes opened, and she propped herself up a bit, wrapping the blankets around her while Tara fixed on a robe. They shared a concern gaze before Tara opened the door.

Faith, for her part, stood apologetically in the hallway, her fist poised just over the spot where she had just knocked. As the door opened, her hand dropped. "Hey Blondie." Her voice was soft. "You know I hate to interrupt you…"

Tara wasn't listening to Faith; she was instead shocked by the feel of Faith's emotions coming off in waves, a resignation, contentment, and an uncertainty. Something was going on, and Faith was trying to tell her. "What's wrong?" Tara asked. She always did hate talking around things.

"I think you need to come downstairs." Faith's eyes burned into Tara's, begging her to see for herself. "I think Willow does too."

Tara nodded slowly. "We'll be down in two minutes."

"Make it quicker, I think you're REALLY going to want to take a look at this." She muttered more to herself than actually to Tara, but Tara heard it anyway. She shut the door and went to get Willow out of bed. Something big was definitely going on.

* * *

~ Honesty is a hard attribute to find when we all want to seem like we got it all figured out… ~

Buffy was sitting on her couch, her face buried in her hands. Did she have any right to doubt her family's obvious affection for Faith? She had been watching for awhile, there was no fear - even in Willow. She had died thinking Willow would never forgive Faith, and now Faith lived in the same house as her best friend? Unbelievable. Tara had some of the best judgment in people she'd ever seen (if she did say so herself), and she certainly could read auras. She had seemed so comfortable with Faith. Maybe jail had given Faith a different outlook. Perhaps Faith had actually found redemption. But on the other hand, Faith had screwed her over twice now. And really, what was there to say she wouldn't go back to that? That something she did wouldn't set the other Slayer off again? And really - could she believe Faith was in love with her? She supposed it made a lot of sense in the long run. Why Faith fell apart like she did, why she went after her and her family like she did.

She also didn't know why she reacted the way she did to Faith. Is it possible after all of this time that's actually what the problem is? She shook her head, willing that thought away again. She refused to believe it. No, it simply wasn't possible. Then again, it was her that had reached for Faith. It was her that watched Faith for hours before alerting any of them to her presence. It didn't matter. Faith had to go. At least until Buffy had time to reason and make sense of everything. If she proved… who was she kidding? She didn't even know why she was still thinking about this.

Faith came down the stairs, eyeing Buffy on the couch. The girl was deep in thought, and perhaps it was better if Faith just kept her distance until the girl noticed her standing there. But she heard Tara and Willow's door open, and she knew it would be better if Buffy knew she was back before they came down. Doing a quick survey of Buffy, she noticed how the girl looked. That might actually be a bad thing. "B." Buffy looked up, surprised. "Maybe you should go downstairs and change. Maybe you'd be more comfortable."

Buffy understood. Maybe Tara and Willow would be more comfortable. She stood, and wandered downstairs, quickly locating an old pair of sweatpants - hers? She grabbed a T-shirt from the clean pile; not even noticing it was Faith's workout shirt until she was halfway up the stairs. She shrugged it off.

* * *

~ Ain't going to pretend like I do, Just trying to find my way, Trying to find my way, The best I know how, Well, I haven't got it all figured out quite yet… ~

In the meantime, Tara and Willow wandered down the stairs. Tara was leading, with Willow's hand fitted loosely into her own. They were already in combat mode, waiting for the worst news possible. Faith was glad that she had sent Buffy out of the room. Their eyes searched the living room as if expecting it to be horrifically disformed, or a demon growling at them, or something of the like.

Faith smirked, but it quickly gave way to a more serious look, a maturer look crossing her face. "Why don't you two sit and I'll give you just a moment of preparation for what's about to happen?"

"Faith, I'm tired. What is it?" Willow practically moaned.

Buffy jogged up the stairs, but her feet were light on the steps. She opened the door, but quickly just cracked it as she heard Faith about to tell Willow what was going on. That would certainly give her an opportunity to gage their friendship. "I think something good has happened. Very good, really, for you guys. But I think it's kind of going to be a shock."

"What, Faith?" Willow again interrupted. She was cranky, but her tone was affectionate.

"Buffy's back."

There was a dead silence in the room. And then… "Are you sure?" "Where is she?" "Are you sure you weren't just seeing things?" "Faith, I hope this isn't a joke." "Let's find her." "Why aren't we out looking for her?" "Is Dawn awake?" "Does she know?" Their questions poured forth, it was a volcano of spoken words, all coming faster and faster, reducing Willow to babble mode and Tara not far behind her. They both knew to trust Faith, she certainly would have discovered if Buffy was a fake. She wouldn't have brought that home, but neither of their minds could actually wrap around the concept. Buffy? Back? She died.

Buffy smiled, some things don't change. She opened the door and rounded the corner. Everything stopped once more. To Willow, it seemed as if her best friend was walking back into her life in slow motion. She wasn't sure if she was dreaming. She smiled; Tara's fingers were lightly pinching her forearm, as if to say "You're not dreaming!" Buffy looked at the redhead, staring at her, taking in her features for a long moment. She had missed Willow, and she hadn't even realized. Now she could feel the redhead's absence heavily in her heart. Willow's emerald eyes filled with tears - much like Buffy's, and as they looked at each other, Willow finally managed to choke out "Buffy?" The blond nodded, and they moved together in a crushing hug. Buffy was careful as to not hurt the girl, and Willow was careless, putting a lot of pressure on even Buffy's system. Willow hadn't let go yet, but Tara felt compelled to join in. All three of the girls stood crying silently curled into each other's arms. A mantra came unbidden out of Willow's lips, whispered and repeated over and over. "I can't believe it's you. I can't believe you're here. I missed you so much. We missed you so much." Over and over, this was all Willow had the strength to get out.

Faith stood to the side, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. She was so happy for them, for the people who had made her feel human again. It was so nice to see Willow and Tara really happy. But if she were to be honest with herself - she couldn't help but feel sorry. She wanted so badly to grab Buffy and make her realize that she was telling the truth. All she wanted to do was prove how much she loved the girl, how much she loved her family. But there was no way to do that without B thinking she was a psychopath. So, she was leaving. It was better this way anyway, wasn't it? "I'm gonna go get my stuff." She spoke to no one in particular, but Buffy caught it and nodded. But so did Tara.

"Why are you getting your stuff?" Tara asked, and then looking at Buffy, her eyes widened. "Oh." She frowned, as if debating what to do.

Willow looked between all of them, confused for a moment, and then a lightbulb went off in her head. "Oh, Buffy, no! She's good now! I swear. She's been living here for a few months. Things are okay. She took care of us and stuff. And I know she used to be all bad and evil and skanky, but she's good and honest and stuff now. No Mayor, just Faith. She's saved our lives. All of our lives. She's been patrolling, and she's been picking up where you…"

"Left off?" Buffy asked, with an unreadable expression.

Tara interceded. "Buffy, I know… how you feel about Faith, but really… she's been helping us, and I trust her. I'd like if she stayed, but I think this is a lot to be talking about right now. In fact, I think we should all sit down, let you tell us the story, and then we'll all go to bed. And tomorrow morning we'll discuss this further. Faith will sleep on the couch tonight - I will not throw her out to that dingy motel. Not at this time of night. Not ever again."

Buffy felt a stab of guilt. How many nights had she let Faith go to that place without a single person to talk to? But she sighed, relenting. "Fine, but we'll discuss this tomorrow."

~ But even if it takes my whole life to get to where I need to be, If I should fall to the bottom of the end I'll be one step back to you… ~

Faith felt herself smile. That's one more night than she had five minutes ago. They all sat down to discuss how Buffy came back, and Faith felt herself calm a bit. Maybe things weren't going to be as bad as she had prepped herself for. Maybe this time, they were on the way back to being what they should be. Together.

[Pixie]

I get up and what do I find? Another update!!! Eeeeexcellent. This is beautiful Chance! I'm glad you're on a roll! BTW, John Maher's "Your Body Is A Wonderland" was playing on the radio as I was reading this!

[Ressick]

Thank you beautiful, it's fantastic.

*smile*

Res, forever and a day a Chance fan...

[katydid]

Wow...lots of updates. I really enjoyed these chapters. There was so much to say, and so many emotions. I think you nailed them pretty well. Keep it up.

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"She practically has 'genuine molded plastic' stamped on her ass.

[Chance]

Rating: Probably an R, it'll probably get racy… and it's Faith, language and such.
Disclaimer: I feel like I'm a little kid playing with her big brother's very expensive, very complex toys and if I got caught I'd be in trouble. But, I'll put 'em back where I found em! And I'll so be careful! (And I don't own 'em, and I'm not making money from this.)
Note: Okay, these lyrics have been altered the tiniest bit so it's just the slightest bit more positive. But this is actually a really beautiful song by Jimmy Eat World called "Hear You Me".
As Soon As You Were Gone
Chance

Chapter 15: On Sleepless Roads The Sleepless Go

~ There's no one in town I know, you gave us some place to go. I never said thank you for that, I thought I might get one more chance. ~

Now that she had finished talking of her fight from her grave, Buffy sat back a little dazed. When she had first run into Faith, the own discomfort in her body had forced her into being defensive, to be clear headed and strong. Well, maybe not that clear headed, but certainly more aware of things around her than she was right now. Everything was just a little foggy. She had related the story in silence, her cracking voice relating the circumstances (as she knew them) of her resurrection. The whispered questions afterwards, coming mostly from the two witches, had just served to further her exhaustion. Tara and Willow had whispered their goodnights, leaving Faith and Buffy by themselves in a silence. It was neither comfortable nor awkward. Buffy reasoned it was simply their bodies refusing to recognize anything but the demand to sleep. In fact, Buffy was rather surprised when Faith broke it.

"Are you going to wake Dawn?" Her voice was soft, but Buffy hardly noticed, her eyes were drooping as the dark girl talked. The mention of Dawn roused her slightly, and a pang of guilt went through her. Yes, she was exhausted. When she stood, she felt the entirety of her body tremble and nearly give. She couldn't make much sense of anything, but every part of her cried out for Dawn. Familiar, wonderful Dawn. She moved slowly for the stairs, not even realizing she hadn't answered Faith.

Her movements were slow and deliberate. She had very little energy or strength left. She was drawn on only by the pure emotion of need motivating her to see her sister. She climbed the stairs and stopped for a second, trying to grasp from her foggy memory which door was her sisters. She opened the door she thought she recognized, and breathed a sigh of relief when she discovered she was correct. The light from the hallway poured in on her sister's form - curled into a tight ball in the center of her bed, arms hugging a pillow, blanket bunched around her. It was the way Dawn had slept since she was born. Buffy moved forward, and Dawn stirred. Buffy stopped, inhaling sharply, almost afraid to wake her. Dawn waved away the light with her hand, and finally relented, rubbing her eyes with the wayward hand. Dawn tried to make out the darkened form. "Willow? Faith?"

Buffy took another step forward, and Dawn gasped. "Buffy?"

* * *

~ What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud? I never said thank you for that, now I'll get that chance. May angels lead you in. Hear you me, my friends, On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in. ~

Willow and Tara had excused themselves to bed, but neither was sleeping. Both were staring at the ceiling, the fingers of their hands curled together. They were quiet both lost in thought. Tears were rolling slowly down Willow's cheeks, and it wasn't till one dripped on Tara's bare arm that she said anything. "Are you okay?" Her voice, though barely audible, soothed Willow ever so gently.

"I'm just… wow."

Tara almost giggled at Willow's loss for words, it struck her funny. She knew though it wasn't a time to laugh. Tara rolled onto her side, still holding Willow's hand, and using the other to wipe the residue of the redhead's tears away. "You're crying."

Willow didn't respond. Using her other hand, she stopped Tara's, and pulled the girl's palm to her lips, kissing it once in the center. The act was so pure, so simple. They turned to each other, bringing their lips together in an act of reverence. When they parted, Willow sighed. "I don't know what tomorrow is going to be like. But I'm glad that you're here with me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Tara smiled, and brought their lips together once more. "Sleep. We'll work on tomorrow tomorrow." They slipped their arms around each other, cuddling closer. Both slept a dreamless sleep.

* * *

~ So what would you think of me now -- so lucky, so strong, so proud? I never said thank you for that, now I'll get that chance. May angels lead you in. Hear you me, my friends, On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in. ~

Buffy closed the gap between Dawn and herself in fractions of a second, zooming to her sister's side as the girl started to cry. Buffy kneeled, pulling Dawn's head to hers and placing a kiss lightly on the girl's forehead. "It's me Dawn. It's me." Over and over she repeated it, as Dawn cried into her shoulder. Buffy allowed herself to finally cry too. Both sat sobbing into each other. Buffy's hand stroked Dawn's hair, Dawn just allowed herself the comfort of her sister's shoulder. Dawn slid over slightly, and pulled Buffy in next to her. She cradled herself into Buffy, as only a younger sister could to an older, and they both continued to cry until each fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Faith sat on the couch, trying to process all that had happened in a single night, but words failed her. She crept quietly from the living room to the basement, walking down the stairs as lightly as possible. Pulling the switch and wandering over to the back corner where she'd hid this only a few weeks before. Weeks that felt like years in substance. She pulled the tattered old case from behind a few boxes, and opened it, pulling from it her one prized and most secret possession. Her guitar. She wandered back up the stairs, and sat back on the couch, very softly plucking at the strings. She began to play the first song she learned when she came back to Sunnydale. At the time, she had wanted to learn it because it reminded her of B. Now, she played her favorite part and sing softly to herself.

~ May angels lead you in, May angels lead you in. And if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time, A song for a heart so big, God wouldn't let it live. ~

She sighed to herself, now allowing the open display of emotion she had been denying for hours. She too, like the rest of the house, began to cry. Tears rolled themselves down her cheeks unbidden.

~ May angels lead you in. Hear you me, my friends, On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in. May angels lead you in. Hear you me, my friends, On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in. May angels lead you in. ~

She settled back into the couch, allowing herself to doze off with the guitar still in her lap.

*****************************************************************************

End Note: This is kind of a transitional chapter, because I knew Dawn would have to find out about Buffy - I really don't believe Buffy's character would wait until the morning to tell Dawn. Oh, and this definitely isn't the end of the story. Thanks for holding in there with me. As you can see, my muse is kicking up the pace a bit here.

[This message has been edited by Chance (edited March 05, 2002).]

[ForeverPiper]

Wow...just, lots and lots of wow.

[nika]

Chance I'm glad you're back. This story is really great, w/t and b/f can't go wrong there.

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"The word 'GULP!'comes to mind." Tara

[Pixie]

*sniffle* Chance, all our girls aren't the only ones crying.

[Thanatopsis]

I just found this fic a few days back and well, to quote Willow, "I'm just… wow." That pretty much sums it up for me.

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Kind of an unusual name. There's hardly any except Warren Beatty and, you know, President Harding. It's probably not either of them.
~Willow in IWMTLY

[Chance]

Rating: Probably an R, it’ll probably get racy… and it’s Faith, language and such.
Disclaimer: I feel like I’m a little kid playing with her big brother’s very expensive, very complex toys and if I got caught I’d be in trouble. But, I’ll put ‘em back where I found em! And I’ll so be careful! (And I don’t own ‘em, and I’m not making money from this.)
Note: It’s those guys again.Oh, and this was another transitional chapter, and I didn't have much patience for it. I hope that doesn't show too badly. If it does, let me know, I'll try to fix it. (Kieli, wait for the next one, that'll be the one I was talking about... didn't realize Giles would take so long.)

As Soon As You Were Gone
Chance

Chapter 16: There Is Still A Chance They Will See

~ When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be… And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be… ~

Giles sat in the dark of his house, taking solace in the early morning. In honesty, he hadn’t really slept since that night with Glory. Since that night Buffy… well died. He sighed, pulling his glasses from his face and rubbing his nose. He should be sleeping, he knew. If he didn’t one day he was going to fall over from exhaustion. It was even becoming noticeable by the Scoobies. Even Anya, who he often considered the most oblivious of them all, had noticed the dark circles under his eyes. And, lacking tact as she did, had commented on them. He sighed again. But he loved them. He did, even Anya, who at times could be the most trying on his patience. But he missed her, his Slayer. Buffy had become like a daughter to him, and her absence was weighing heavily on his mental state.

He stood, letting the exhaustion roll off of himself in waves. He moved to his desk, his eyes pouring over the fax he had received last night. He had debated this for months, and now he was going to. Let everything be damned, that girl did not deserve to die. And none of them deserved to suffer after her. Dawn needed family, Willow needed a best friend, Xander needed a hero, Anya needed someone to roll her eyes at her one liners. Tara needed the person who welcomed her, and he needed his daughter. He stood, shaking his head. Even Faith needed a partner. This wasn’t fair to any of them. And he wasn’t going to let it go on a day longer.

Gathering his things, he jumped in his car, heading for the Summers home. He didn’t even notice it was barely six.

* * *

~ Let it be, Let it be, Let it be, Whisper words of wisdom, Let it Be. And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. But though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see, there will be answer, let it be. ~

Buffy, for her part, was awake. She had slipped from Dawn’s bed, leaving the girl with a kiss on the forehead. She stole down the stairs, hoping to make it to the kitchen. Halfway down, she was stopped in her tracks. She caught sight of Faith lying on her couch. The same couch she had found her mother on. She winced. She slowly made her way down, but stopped again at the bottom, staring at the dark-haired Slayer. She had to admit, her friends had given stirring arguments to let Faith stay, but she herself didn’t trust the girl. She didn’t know if she could simply go by their word on this. She was surprised to see a guitar wrapped in Faith’s embrace, but was amused by how appropriate it looked.
She actually had to remind herself that the girl was evil, looking at her sleeping. Faith had sunk; rather willing it would seem, back into the couch, her head resting at the top, closest to the window. Currently the sun was rising over the girl’s face. First illuminating her hair, and then starting to bathe her face in sunlight. She looked beautiful, innocent. Buffy had to remind herself of a lot, actually. First of all, she liked guys. Right, Angel, Riley – these names sound vaguely familiar, right there, B? B? B? Since when did she call herself B? And Faith is an evil skanky bitch… or really beautiful. Or evil! Right, Faith, evil. Men, attractive. Time to run. She walked briskly into the kitchen, not noticing the dark brown eye that popped open to watch her retreat with interest. Faith frowned to herself, and repositioned herself, falling back asleep. That was weird.

* * *

It wasn’t until Giles got out of his car that he noticed how early it was. He debated for a half second letting them sleep, but then decided he couldn’t handle waiting any longer. He opened the door with his key, and walked straight into the house. He very quickly noticed Faith, who he went to wake. Placing an arm on her shoulder, she jumped a bit before her eyes opened fully. “Hey G-man.” She sat up suddenly. “Hi Giles! What’s going on?”

Giles looked at her, his head cocked to the side. “Faith, are you feeling alright?”

Faith wasn’t exactly sure what to do. She knew for a fact the Buffy had just walked into the kitchen, and that as soon as Giles saw her… well, she had no clue what was going to happen then. She just knew this was gonna be messy and emotional. “Do you want me to get Red and Blondie? How bout a cup of coffee, tea maybe?” The words came rushing on top of each other, and she cursed herself for sounding like Willow.

Giles was sure something was going on. “I can make myself tea, Faith.”

“No, let me do it. Why don’t you go wake the witchy two?” Faith asked, practically bouncing back and forth.

“Fine, Faith, but we all need to talk. I have something important to discuss with the three of you.”

“Good, I’m all for the talking.” And with that, she scampered into the kitchen, where Buffy was staring blankly into space. She obviously hadn’t heard Faith come in, and wasn’t paying a damn bit of attention to that part of each other that alerted them to the other’s presence. “B?”

Buffy jumped two feet in the air before landing. “What, Faith?” She seethed when she landed. She wasn’t really angry at Faith, she just felt caught. She had been trying to figure out why her feelings towards the Slayer had been so mixed lately.

“Ummm… Giles is here, and I thought… well, I don’t know.”

Buffy understood what Faith had been thinking. Giles must have been suffering badly. She didn’t know what to do about that. Just walk out and say “hey, dad type figure, miss me?” she sighed. Beneath all of her anxiety, she was bubbling over to see him; she was just terrified… how would he react? The same way Faith had?

* * *

Tara couldn’t have been less pleased that the sun hadn’t even fully risen yet, and there was a knocking on her bedroom door. More particularly because Willow hadn’t even stirred, and Tara was greatly enjoying their positioning. But, dutifully she rose, and as she put her robe on and walked to the door, she remembered the events of last night, Buffy was back. She felt a sudden swell of contentment swell through her. She took a deep breath and opened the door, expecting it to be one of the Slayers. Instead, she came face to face with a man in his forties. She jumped back a bit, surprised, letting out a little “oh”. Men were not the first things she was used to seeing in the morning anymore.

“Tara, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I have something I’d like to discuss with all of you downstairs. It’s about… Buffy.” Giles voice was so serious that she took a second to stop. Wait, wasn’t Buffy back? Did Giles know Buffy was back? Her eyes shot open, wider than even she knew they were.

“Of course, why don’t you go sit in the living room? We’ll be down shortly.” Tara smiled, hoping she was faking this well enough. She didn’t know what to say.

“Well, honestly, Faith sent me up here.” Giles looked at the girl oddly. What was going on in this house this morning?

“Oh.” Tara nodded as if that made perfect sense to her. She wished she knew what was going on. “Well, alright, let me and Willow get dressed, we’ll be right down.”

“Right then.” Giles was soon face to face with the door.

Tara hurried to her lover’s side, gazing at the sleeping redhead with such affection her heart was bursting. She leaned over, placing her lips lightly over the redhead’s. She stayed, if just an inch above the girl’s face, and heard the moan she waited for. The Willow “I’m not up yet but I could be could you do that again?” moan was infamous, at least to Tara. She grinned, happy to do so. This time she lowered her lips with a little more force, and just as she felt Willow relinquish control, swept into her girlfriend’s mouth with her tongue. Willow was definitely waking up, as one arm sprung out, caught Tara’s waist, and pulled the girl back down to the bed and on top of her. When they finally broke, Willow smiled. “Good day. Stay in bed for…” she glanced at the clock, and her eyes opened wide, “a lot longer!”

Tara shook her head, her eyes laughing at the cuteness that was Willow. “Honey, we have a situation…” Tara delved into as much as she knew of the story as quickly as she could. Both girls were dressed in minutes.

* * *

~ And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be, I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be, let it be, let it be…~

Giles, for his part, was pacing in the living room. He didn’t know how he was going to convince them to do this. To raise Buffy from the dead went against anything he’d ever taught them. But he felt it was his duty to do it. She hadn’t died a natural death. She hadn’t died fairly. To make that decision – her sister or herself? It wasn’t fair. And he wasn’t going to let her suffer for it. Faith brought out his tea and set it down, mumbling something about being right back. He acknowledged it, but didn’t say anything; instead keeping himself focused on his thoughts.

Willow and Tara walked past him, shouting good mornings as they moved by. He didn’t stop to think about their behavior, just focused on what he had to tell them. The four girls congregated in the kitchen. Faith looked at them. “Okay, how do we do this?”

Willow, Tara, and Faith turned and looked at Buffy. She looked back at them, her eyes widening. “I don’t know what to do!”

“He’s your Watcher. You know him the best!” Faith exclaimed.

Buffy sighed. “Okay, well, obviously he wants to talk about something, right? So, go in there and right before he gets started, just tell him.”

“Good plan.” Willow nodded.

“C’mon, he’s waiting.” Tara started the line out of the kitchen.

Willow, Tara, and Faith moved back into the living room and sat down. “So Giles… it must be pretty important if you came over this early.” Faith said, nervously.

“It is. I need to discuss something with you, and regardless of how you react, I’d like you to keep in mind that I’m not letting you say no.”

“Well then maybe you’d let us say something important first?” Willow asked, meeting eyes with Tara and Faith but not Giles himself.

“Yes, I suppose.” A few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

The girls met eyes once again; they hadn’t talked about who would tell him. “You see, Giles… uhh…” Willow began.

“Something happened last night, Faith…” Tara continued, but faltered.

“Giles, you see, last night I was patrolling and…” Faith trailed off as she was interrupted.

“Buffy? Buffy, where’d you go?” Dawn came barreling down the stairs. “Where is she?” She turned to the assembled group in the living room. “Where is she? She was here, right?” The three girls sat staring at her, no idea what to do. Giles stared at them, and then looked at Dawn, standing to embrace her.

“Shhh… it’s okay, it was just a…”

And then she appeared in the doorway. She had heard Dawn calling, and knew she had to respond. She just hoped they had gotten it out in time. But from the looks of things, they hadn’t. Dawn shucked off Giles arms, and raced into Buffy’s, hugging her sister tightly. “I know it wasn’t a dream, I knew you were back.”

Buffy and Giles stood staring at each other. “But, how? When?” It was all Giles could muster.

“Last night, I ran into Faith after… well, she brought me back here.” Buffy kissed Dawn’s forehead again, moving past her. Dawn let go of her sister, knowing this was important. Buffy and Giles moved together, and regardless of his years of English sensibilities, Giles broke down and wept. He had his Slayer back. He had his daughter back. And he didn't know what else to do but cry.

As Buffy felt Giles' arms circle around her, she realized that she was back. And she was home.

~ There will be an answer, let it be, let it be, let it be, there will be answer, let it be, let it be, let it be, whisper words of wisdom, let it be. ~

[This message has been edited by Chance (edited March 06, 2002).]

[Puff]

*sigh* thanks Chance I love this story. You write the Willow and Tara moments beautifully

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'The cold and ruthless sea tossed the lovers' into the starry black night. together they fall, together they sleep. forever.. forever.. *whisper*forever..the cold and ruthless sea...' By Sweets

[Ressick]

*smile* Great moment between Giles and Buffy. Thank you.

Res, forever and a day a Chance fan...

[Pixie]

*sob* Chance...Buffy...*sniffle*...Giles...*blows nose*...what a fic!

[katydid]

Simply put...Wow!!! Excellent update. You have gotten me hooked

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"She practically has 'genuine molded plastic' stamped on her ass.

[Chance]

Rating: Probably an R, it’ll probably get racy… and it’s Faith, language and such.
Disclaimer: I feel like I’m a little kid playing with her big brother’s very expensive, very complex toys and if I got caught I’d be in trouble. But, I’ll put ‘em back where I found em! And I’ll so be careful! (And I don’t own ‘em, and I’m not making money from this.)
Note: In one part of this, Tara and Willow both directly quote lyrics from the song. There are ~ ~ marks around that dialogue. I’m sure you’ll understand. It’s Jimmy Eat World, this time with their single “The Middle”.

As Soon As You Were Gone
Chance

Chapter 17: Don’t Worry What The Bitter Hearts Are Gonna Say

Tara couldn’t have imagined being happier. Her face was openly exposed to sunlight, her hair warming in the sun and her hand held loosely with another. The scent of Willow was wafting at her with the afternoon breeze. Their fingers were loosely tangled up in each other’s, and they were simply striding through the park. She had missed these afternoons, when they lazily explored the town. It had been weeks since she had gotten Willow to agree to go on one with her, but now with Buffy back – almost three weeks now, it seemed a bit easier. Things were easier now, happier. Buffy even seemed to be getting back to her old self a little bit little bit. Unfortunately, she had yet to really adapt to Faith being a part of their every day lives. She had listened to a testimonial from all of them, and still put Faith out of the house. She was currently living with Giles, which both irritated and amused the Watcher and the Slayer.

She was training with Faith, and they had begun to patrol together again, although Faith spoke of how business-like and non-committal it was each time. But Willow had risen to the occasion on Faith’s cause, particularly at Tara’s insistence. They really were starting to function as a married couple, and Tara had never known such joy in her life. As connected as they were now, she couldn’t imagine how she would feel once they had joined their lives not only in word and deed, but in contract and convenant. She stopped walking, causing a tension in their fingers which caused Willow to stop, and turn back. “Did you see something?” The redhead’s eyes shot up to look into hers. They often called these little outings “window shopping”, but it was just a good excuse to be together. Never once had either of them actually stopped to look at a single item in the window.

Tara smiled, filling out her face so it was even more beautiful than moments before. Willow breath caught in her throat, as it often still did. “Definitely did.” She pulled Willow towards her using their linked hands. “A beautiful woman who I want to make my wife.”

Willow made a face. “Where is she? I’ll show her, trying to steal my…”

And as per usual, Tara quieted Willow’s “jealous rant” with a rather searing kiss. They melted into one and back to two again before either broke away. “I missed you. You were so far away.” Tara whispered into the hair in front of Willow’s ear, effectively tickling that same ear and the girl’s neck with just her breath.

“Oh, very far. Too far away from my Tara. Too much space there, good of you to fix it, I myself was getting concerned…” Willow answered in her usual babble, while leaning back in to silence herself by covering her lips with her girlfriend.

When the kiss broke, blue eyes sought green. Tara was troubled by something, Willow could tell instantly. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“When do you think we should tell them?”

“Who? What?” Willow was confused, Tara seemed so serious. What was so serious?

“Our friends? About getting married?”

“Oh! Tara, anytime you want to tell them. You don’t think I’m avoidy, do you? I’m not trying to be all Ignoro girl, it’s very important to me. I was just kind of waiting for what seemed like that ‘perfect moment’. Oh, that sounds like a cop out, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Willow shifted nervously. She hadn’t mean to seem uninterested.

Tara smiled, trailing her thumb down Willow’s jawline, and resting the tip of her forefinger on her girlfriend’s lips. “You’re not. I’m asking. I just don’t want to tell them at the ‘wrong time’.”

“We’ll tell them soon. The next happy group gathering, ok?”

“Ok.”

The girlfriends smiled at each other. They shared a quick chaste kiss. Or, they intended it to be a quick chaste kiss. That’s not what it was. But when they finished, they both smiled and picked up the pace on their walk – back in the direction of home.

* * *

~ Hey, don’t write yourself off yet, it’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. ~

Buffy, even if she had been deaf, dumb, and blindfolded (as she currently was), would have been able to tell that punch was coming. She caught it, mid-air. Reaching up with her other hand, she pulled the bandanna away from her eyes and quirked an eyebrow at Faith. “What was that?”

“A punch?”

“No, that was a bitch hit. And I’d appreciate it if you would actually come at me. I’m not that breakable. Just as alive as you are. Vampires and demons are gonna be at me a lot harder. So why don’t you do us both a favor?”

~ Just try your best, try everything you can, And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away. ~

Faith sighed. She had just been trying to take it easy, give Buffy a chance to warm up to the blind training again. She shook it off, and went at the Slayer again, this time putting a little more oomph into it. At least it hadn’t been this bad since the first week, B just must be getting tired. She had gotten a bit less snippy, and that had suited Faith just fine. The girl was being such a god damn bitch. Faith wanted to smack the shit out of her. But she knew that if she tried to knock some sense into the girl, Buffy would have her driven out as a criminal again. But – at least it wasn’t this bad all the time.

~ It just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of the ride. Everything (everything) will be just fine. Everything (everything) will be alright (alright). ~

In fact, some days over the past few weeks, Faith had even been able to forget Buffy hated her. It felt like the beginning, in the old days, when things had been easier. Before she herself had made Buffy hate her. She sighed. But there had definitely been some good moments. The first spar had been incredible. That fight was the best fight Faith had had since their first round. Fighting with Buffy was amazing because both could sense the other. It was about execution and precision. It was what let them test the mastery of their skills. It felt like a natural thing, a meditation almost. Faith zoned into fighting with Buffy, it was different plane – of give and take. God, she’d miss this part of it. She couldn’t imagine being the only Slayer, not anymore.

The first vamp Buffy had staked had been a good occasion too. They were almost friends for a moment. Faith had congratulated her, told her how well she had done. And Buffy actually took the compliment for a few moments before ruining it by suspecting her of some malicious intent. To be fair though, things had gotten a lot better since then. Their banter had eased from Buffy threatening her every other moment to the almost flirting competition they had once had. Buffy had even been smiling at her over the past few days. It was rare, but it was a nice thing when it did happen. They finished the sparring, and Giles wandered in. “Oh, good, you’re done. That’s enough, now. You still have to patrol tonight.”

They stopped, Faith tossing Buffy a towel to wipe down, and then a bottle of water to cool off. “Looking good there, B. Getting better by the hour.”

“You’re not looking so bad, yourself. Did you practice every day while I was gone?”

“Ouch, that hurts. So, patrol in two hours?”

“Yeah, meet you here.”

“Good.” Faith started for the door.

The sound of B’s voice startled her. “Bronze after?”

Faith stopped, soaking, reveling in the request. “Really?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Buffy looked up at Faith as if it was an everyday request.

Faith shrugged. “Sure.”

Buffy watched Faith walk out, wondering at herself. Did I just invite Faith to the Bronze with us? What am I doing? And if she had been forced to be honest with herself – she had no idea. For the last few weeks, everything had fallen back into place. Her relationship with Dawn was even better. But Faith had just eluded her. And not because the brunette wasn’t trying, it was that she was. Every time Faith came anywhere near Buffy, the blond couldn’t really think straight. She’d been totally conflicted as of late by the mess of feelings this changed Faith was inspiring in her. The same of course the old Faith did, just much more powerfully. The draw of someone so like her and yet so different was undeniable. Faith understood – the only one in the world who could, and that was a fluke. Why not hang onto that fluke for all it’s worth? And Faith’s relationship and loyalty to her sister wasn’t unattractive. In fact, she found herself totally trusting of Dawn in Faith’s hands. And all of her other friends in Faith’s hand as well, if she forced herself to really think about it. She needed Willow.

* * *

~ Hey, you know they’re all the same, you know you’re doing better on your own, so don’t buy in. ~

Tara had to hide the smile from her face as Faith went on and on about Buffy’s infuriating qualities. Since Faith had come, Tara had become a confidante for Faith. Tara had explained to Willow that she realized one of the reasons Faith had been so afraid to come back because she didn’t feel as if she had any friends here. And that Tara stepping in and getting Faith to talk made it easier for the brunette, because she didn’t have to feel like she was burdening any of them with anything. Willow sighed, accepting it but not liking it. Still, she was glad Faith had found at least one of them she could talk to. She held back a giggle, knowing Willow was going through the exact same thing with Buffy right now.

“She just gets angry with me for no reason, even if it’s with the best of intentions! And ugh! Then she invites me out! To the Bronze! With the gang! Y’know like a real Scoobie! And she thinks that makes it okay!” Faith slowed. “Because it does. I’m going to the Bronze, with the gang, like a real Scoobie.”

Tara smiled. “You are, yes.”

“I’m not sure what this means.” Faith said, her eyes looking desperate for anything she could equate this to besides Buffy’s actual forgiveness.

“It means Buffy might actually be lightening up.”

Faith looked at Tara. “I don’t think they give you enough credit.” Tara smiled. “But… if she lightens up, she won’t hate me anymore.”

“And this scares you because then you might actually have to admit you have feelings for her?” Tara gave Faith an impish grin.

Faith rolled her eyes, and lifted her water bottle to take a sip. “She’s straight.”

“So was Willow, once.” Tara grinned mischievously, and Faith nearly spat out her water. Tara laughed, and then continued “I’m teasing, obviously. I would never insinuate that Willow wasn’t attracted to women before me. But I helped a lot.” There was that grin again. Faith laughed, realizing how lucky Red actually was.

“They definitely underestimate you.”

* * *

~ Live right now. Yeah, just be yourself. It doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else. ~

“I just don’t know, Willow. There are times when I trust her, when I believe her, and times when I see the old Faith slipping through.” Buffy sighed, hands over her face, as they sat downstairs in the Summers home.

“Listen, Buffy, I know I’ve said this a thousand times, but Faith has changed. Have you ever considered what you’re seeing isn’t the bad old Faith, just the overall Faith? What she’s like, good or bad?” Willow sighed as for the eighth time, Buffy dodged whatever it was she was actually trying to say.

“Yeah, I guess.” Buffy sighed.

“Buffy, I’m your best friend. I’ve known you for years. Before you died, after you died, whatever. I know when you’re not telling me something. What’s going on?” Willow managed all of that without a single babble rant. She must be totally serious. Buffy sighed.

“I don’t know!”

“Well, why don’t you tell me what you do know?” Willow crossed her arms, looking all resolved.

“She makes me all confused! I don’t want to think she’s cute. Or funny! I date boys! I’m Buffy!” Buffy sighed. “I know I shouldn’t think – hey, that shit eating grin of hers makes her look really sexy. I love those leather pants on her. I want to think… I don’t know what I want to think!”

“Buffy, whatever you want is okay with me, with all of us…” Willow sighed. She knew Buffy was conflicted on the Faith issue, but she hadn’t realized how badly. She sighed, as if coming to a decision. “Buffy, I’d have to be dumb to not notice the way you look at her, I get it, I do. You’re straight… but why couldn’t it just be her that gets to you like that? And if it is, then maybe there’s a reason for it. I’ve told you time and again that she’ll never hurt a strand of hair on a single one of our heads. She loves us. And you, for that matter. Ok? So do what you want to, but I say give it a shot. As your best friend.”

* * *

~ It just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of the ride, everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright). It just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of the ride, everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright). ~

When Buffy and Faith met up again to patrol, the quiet between them was deafening. They worked quickly, easily killing five vamps they ran into in one cemetery and from then there were maybe three more. Between the two of them, it was barely a night’s work. They easily could have done it singularly, but they went for the company. And they both knew it. Besides, it was more fun when there was someone to appreciate how you worked your craft. They didn’t speak until they had run out of vampires who were showing themselves. “Well, that went quickly at least.” Buffy said, smiling, but still not actually looking at Faith. “To the Bronze?”

“Sure. Gotta go cause some trouble. Wait’ll those guys see you, B.” Faith smiled, trying to seem as normal as possible.

“Yeah…” Buffy had less ability to lie; her smile didn’t even make it past her lips. It fell flat. Faith ran past her, pretending not to notice.

* * *

The Bronze was packed, it seemed like everyone in the world had shown. Luckily, their friends had come before them, and they navigated themselves over to their space on the couches. Faith smiled a bit guiltily, remembering this as the first place she had introduced herself to Buffy. What an arrogant ass she had been. She sighed, and watched as Buffy plopped. “Beverage?” Buffy nodded and Faith moved off to the bar. Willow and Tara turned at the same time. “Well?”

“Nothing.” Buffy answered, rather heroically, Willow noted. She looked rather upset but was keeping it bottled pretty well. Tara stood, motioning she was following Faith. She leaned into Willow’s ear, giving her girlfriend quite the view. She was teasing her, and Willow thought she was evil. The miles of creamy white flesh that had just been exposed to her were gonna be taunting her all night long.

Tara came up behind Faith. “So?” she shouted in her ear.

“I can’t do it!” Faith called back. “I just can’t.”

“~ Don’t write yourself off yet. It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. ~” Tara looked into Faith’s eyes trying to encourage her. They both turned their attentions back to their drinks that were arriving.

“I don’t know what I’m worried about. Other people, I guess? I don’t even know. I guess I’m just afraid of getting hurt.” Buffy was continuing with Willow.

“~ Just do your best, do everything you can. And don’t you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say. ~” Willow answered, rubbing Buffy’s shoulder for support.

Tara and Faith returned with the drinks, but before they could even finish putting them down, Willow had whisked Tara off onto the dance floor. Buffy and Faith were left sitting, just staring at everything but each other.

Buffy bit into her bottom lip one last time and turned to Faith. “Can we go outside? Where we might do the talking thing?”

Faith shrugged. “Sure.”

* * *

Willow and Tara, although rather immersed in each other, noticed when Buffy and Faith headed for outside. Meeting eyes, they both smiled. “This has definitely been going on too long.” Tara stated, her blue eyes following the couple.

“I know, but I think I might have actually convinced Buffy to tell Faith. Not as interesting as you, don’t care. They’re talking. Duty done. Dancing please.” Willow pressed into her lover, smiling.

“We will! But this is the Hellmouth, Will. Any second something could go wrong.” Tara answered.

“But it’s not Tuesday.” Willow mumbled as she moved to attack the flesh on Tara’s neck.

“Huh?” Tara hadn’t heard her.

Willow pulled back. “It’s not Tuesday, it’s Wednesday. Nothing ever happens on Wednesdays. Never been sure why that is. Tuesday? Real bad day. Back in high school, Sundays were pretty bad for awhile too. Not that the rest of the week was vampire free, it was just a lot of stuff on those days in particular. Y’know, the Apocolypse and all that stuff.” Willow babble, Tara had to smile, until something clicked.

“Willow, baby?” Tara watched as her lover continued to babble. “Willow?” The redhead looked up. “What day is today?”

“Wednesday, why?”

“I’ll be right back.” Tara broke off from her girlfriend taking off pretty quickly, headed out to follow Buffy and Faith.

“Why is everything so weird?” Willow asked no one before taking off to follow.

* * *

~ It just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of the ride, everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright). ~

Buffy and Faith stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity to them. Neither spoke, both sighed quite a few times. Finally Faith opened her mouth. “B… I know you remember what I said to you, I mean, before you came back. I know you know I love you. And if you want me to still, I’ll leave. But I just wanted to make it clear for you: I love you. It wasn’t me caught up in the moment; this wasn’t a joke. I’ve loved you since the first time I came here, and I don’t want to leave. But I will if you want me too.” She stared at Buffy for a long time. “But I want to know that you don’t love me…” And with that, Faith started the most agonizingly slow descent to a kiss in recorded history, and Buffy thought she was about to go nuts.

“Faith? Faith?! Faith!” Tara’s voice was calling for her, and she heard it. But she didn’t want to. She was almost there and Buffy had yet to show a single sign of deterrence. But the voice was getting more insistent. She abruptly stopped the kiss before it started and answered the voice.

“Tara?” she called out.

Tara appeared. “I’m sorry to…” She blushed, hating to make an awkward situation worse. “But it’s Wednesday.”

Faith looked at Tara for a long moment. “So?”

“Faith – it’s Wednesday. Remember Wednesday?” And a dawning came over Faith’s features, and she set out a soft but audible “fuck”. “You haven’t missed it yet, if you run you can make it.”

“Thanks.” She turned to Buffy. “Sorry. Guess we’ll pick this up… tomorrow.” And then Faith turned and ran.

Buffy stared at Tara disbelieving. “What the hell just happened?”

“I’m sorry Buffy, I forgot. She asked me to remind her. She’s got… somewhere to be.” Tara looked apologetic, but it wasn’t much for what was happening to Buffy.

“Where is she?” Buffy demanded.

“She made me promise I wouldn’t tell.” Tara responded, shrugging her shoulders. She felt bad, she knew how Buffy must feel – well, not really. But still, she felt really bad.

“Tara – I love her, and I need to tell her now before I lose my nerve.”

Tara looked guilty, but she shook her head. “Tara, on all that is good, please?!?” Buffy pleaded.

Tara winced. “You whined. Why did you whine?”

“Did it work?” Tara nodded. “That’s why.”

“She’s at the Expresso Pump.”

Buffy’s eyes opened in alarm. “Why?”

“That you’ll have to see for yourself.” Tara shook her head, and went inside, watching Buffy tear off after Faith. She went to grab her lover and head for the coffee shop, she had some of her own explaining to do. She was going to be in so much trouble. Faith was gonna kill her.

~ It just takes some time, little girl you’re in the middle of the ride, everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright). ~

[BytrSuite]

I'm loving all these updates. Thanks so much.

Tara and Willow are adorable.

Poor Buffy and Faith. You write them all so well.

[Chance]

Not gonna be here later today, well, at least not until tonight, which would actually be tomorrow morning, whatever, you get the drift, too much to do, thought I'd toss you one more update before I bounced out to bed and then my incredibly busy day. Enjoy.

Rating: Probably an R, it'll probably get racy… and it's Faith, language and such.
Disclaimer: I feel like I'm a little kid playing with her big brother's very expensive, very complex toys and if I got caught I'd be in trouble. But, I'll put 'em back where I found em! And I'll so be careful! (And I don't own 'em, and I'm not making money from this.)
Note: The songs are Billy Joel's "Two Thousand Years", which I felt was oddly appropriate for a fic involving Slayers, and then, of course, Third Eye Blind's "Motorcycle Driveby". Amazing.

As Soon As You Were Gone
Chance

Chapter 18: I've Never Been So Alive

As Buffy ran, she didn't really think too much. She hadn't considered what might have made Faith leave her, just that she did. She wasn't mad, more hurt. But still very determined to make it very clear to Faith what she expected their relationship to be from now on. She smiled. Yeah, this felt right. Nothing like being reborn and going straight for the New Age relationship. She laughed at herself as she turned a corner. The Expresso Pump was just ahead, and as she slipped in, she noticed perhaps the most harrowing scene of her life. Giles in sexy old man clothes, on stage with Faith, both holding guitars and smiling in front of a group of maybe forty people. Giles was speaking to the whole audience. This must be Giles' night to sing! She'd heard about this! What was Faith doing with a guitar? She had a vague memory of seeing her with one this morning, but she didn't realized she really played.

"So, this is the first night we're going to do this together, me and my… niece, Faith." Giles took a moment to stop and smile at her. "I was almost afraid she was going to stand me up, but here she is, only slightly late." The audience gave an appreciative laugh. "You ready?"

Faith nodded. Together, their fingers started to work their guitars, and they came together to start playing a song Buffy was sure she recognized. When their voices joined together, Buffy's mouth went slack. They sounded beautiful.

~ In the beginning, There was the cold and the night, Prophets and angels gave us the fire and the light, Man was triumphant Armed with the faith and the will
That even the darkest ages couldn't kill… Too many kingdoms, Too many flags on the field, So many battles, so many wounds to be healed, Time is relentless, Only true love perseveres, It's been a long time and now I'm with you, After two thousand years. ~

Willow and Tara scurried in, Tara moved right to Buffy's table, reaching behind her and grabbing her lover's hand before she died of shock. They each grabbed a seat quietly at the table Buffy had chosen for herself. Buffy barely recognized them sitting down. Tara smiled, watching the two. They really were quite impressive together. Giles took a solo verse.

~ This is our moment, Here at the crossroads of time, We hope our children carry our dreams down the line, They are the vintage, what kind of life will they live? Is this a curse or a blessing that we give? ~

Willow leaned over to her girlfriend. "This is what they were doing?"

"Yup."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I was sworn to secrecy. Faith would kill me if she knew we were here. She was so embarrassed, but Giles made her promise she'd be here."

"They're great."

"I know." Tara kissed the redhead's forehead, and Faith took the next verse. Buffy's eyes were glued to the dark girl.

~ Sometimes I wonder, Why are we so blind to fate? Without compassion, there can be no end to hate No end to sorrow Caused by the same endless fears
Why can't we learn from all we've been through after two thousand years? ~

It was a good verse for Faith to choose; Buffy's heart felt like it was breaking right there and then. This was the end to the hatred and sorrow between the two of them. And together, Giles and Faith launched back into the song.

~ There will be miracles, After the last war is won, Science and poetry rule in the new world to come, Prophets and angels, Gave us the power to see
What an amazing future there will be… And in the evening after the fire and the light One thing is certain: Nothing can hold back the light Time is relentless
And as the past disappears we're on the verge of all things new we are two thousand years… ~

As the song ended, the entirety of the coffee shop was cheering the two, who both had what looked suspiciously like blushes. When Giles could finally quiet them down, he smiled. "I would normally end the set, but this is Faith's first real performance, so I thought we might let her do it." The crowd cheered again, the three girls included. Faith cleared her throat and gave a shaky smile to the audience.

"G-man's right, I've never done this before. Never had the chance, I guess, so I wanted to say thanks, Giles. This means a lot. I'm going to end the set with Motorcycle Driveby, it's a Third Eye Blind song, but I'm hoping they won't mind. I'm also dedicating it to someone. They're not hear to hear it, but this is for them."

~ Summer time and the wind is blowing outside In lower Chelsea and I don't know What I'm doing in this city The sun is always in my eyes It crashes through the windows And I'm sleeping on the couch When I came to visit you ~

Buffy remembered the song, even though Faith would have bet money she wouldn't. Faith had played it for her one night before they went patrolling, back in the early days, when things were still good. She said she had been looking her whole life for the feeling this guy gets from this one girl. And even if they're not together, you can tell how badly in love with her he is. She hadn't thought a single thing of it at the time, but now, now sitting in this coffee shop watching a girl she once thought she knew doing something she'd never expect. She was willing to take the leap now that she couldn't before. She was ready to accept what she felt.

~ That's when I knew I could never have you, I knew that before you did, Still I'm the one who's stupid, And there's this burning… Like there's always been
I never been so alone, and I've never been so alive… ~

She sighed, finally realizing how awfully she must have treated Faith. For all of her protests of how she tried to help, did she really? No, she was too scared. She was too scared to let go of how she felt and how society would view her. She was suddenly remembering what it was like not to care. She had been like that with Angel, but Riley had destroyed that part of her. Mr. Apple Pie had made her feel strange in all the wrong ways. He may very well have loved her for it, but he didn't know how to make her feel like she wanted to feel. Faith made her feel how she wanted to feel. Normal and special at the same time - happy and excited, cautious and gentle… everything she'd ever needed Faith could provide, and it was because of their connection.

~ Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by, The cigarette ash flies in your eyes
And you don't mind, you smile, And say the world doesn't fit with you, I don't believe you, you're so serene ~

And yes, this was the same Faith who had threatened her family. But it was also the same Faith who had protected them all summer in her memory. It was the same Faith who had stood by her side these three weeks working her back into shape, teaching her what it meant to be a Slayer again. To be a human being again. She imagined it might have been a lot more difficult if Faith hadn't been there. Faith listened even when Buffy didn't think she was.

~ Careening through the universe, Your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free, I hope you take a piece of me with you, And there's things I'd like to do that you don't believe in, I would like to build something but you never see it happen, And there's this burning Like there's always been I've never been so alone And I've, I've never been so alive And there's this burning There is this burning… ~

She knew she had just as much guilt to bear in that murder that Faith went to jail for. She knew it. In those days, she had no idea - but she did now. She felt how Faith felt, understood finally. The desperation, the isolation - it was unfair. She wished she could fix it, but the only thing she could do was make it better now, try to show Faith how she finally understood. How happy Buffy was that she was back and here for her. How much Buffy felt she owed Faith.

~ Where's the soul I want to know, New York City is evil, The surface is everything but I could never do that… Someone would see through that. And this is our last time; we'll be friends again. I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am, and there's this burning, just like there's always been. I've never been so alone, alone, And I've, and I've never been so alive, so alive… ~

She wanted to be able to jump on stage and tell Faith how much she appreciated everything, how she forgave her her sins, and how she wanted to start a new life. They could try together to fix it, to make their lives better together. She wanted it so badly for them.

Tara and Willow had been looking back and forth between Faith and Buffy throughout the entirety of the song. They both had to confess, they were severely impressed with how nice Faith's voice was, and how well she played her guitar. But more importantly, they were both impressed with the way Faith's emotions poured from her into the music. They were watching Faith work her emotions through her, quite obviously thinking of Buffy and her unrequited love.

With the minor fact that from where they were sitting, the love was very requited. Buffy looked as if she wanted to jump on stage and take Faith out of this coffeehouse and back home, not to return until they'd… "talked". Buffy was definitely wearing a version of her emotions on her sleeve. Her open admiration staring was so blatant, Tara and Willow wondered at Faith not having noticed them yet. Then again, the power to block unpleasant things wasn't hard when one was performing.

~ I go home to the coast. It starts to rain I paddle out on the water alone. Taste the salt and taste the pain, I'm not thinking of you again. Summer dies and swells rise. The sun goes down in my eyes, see this rolling wave, Darkly coming to take me home. ~

Buffy knew the song was coming to an end, and she half rose to run to Faith. As she did so, she caught Faith's eyes, which fluttered in surprise, but in any other case gave no inclination that she had even see the blond. Faith's mind was working overtime. She was going to kill Tara - well, not literally. But this was so embarrassing. She hadn't even wanted Tara here, much less Red, and least of all Buffy. But she had to finish now. She looked directly at Buffy, and finished the song, tossing her head back as it ended. Buffy sat with her eyes totally focused on Faith.

~ And I've never been so alone. And I've never been so alive… ~

The thunderous applause that followed did nothing to dissuade either pair of eyes to leave the others. They stayed like that until the commotion died down, and then the moved towards each other. Both were hearing music like they'd never heard before, and God, it was beautiful.
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Chance.

[ForeverPiper]

This is an excellent story. I just started to read it from the very begining and I love how you portray the B/F relasionship. I can't wait for the next part.

[Pixie]

Wow, Chance, I think you broke me. The angst! The romance! It's about frickin' time! Hope you have a good day.

[Ressick]

Not only did you choose my favorite 3EB song, but you made it so wonderful. Thank you. Great job. Love you.

Res, forever and a day a Chance fan...

[anonymous]

Tip, tippity, top...

Dear Chance,

Is it possible to have a crush on someone solely based on the fact that they write so well?

XO,
Secret Admirer

[Chance]

You tell me.

I'll be back on this soon, promise.

[Puff]

Chance the updates were beautiful, keep up the great work

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Beep, beep

[wiltar]

Damn! I just found out about this fic, and DAMN!!! It's great! I think you have captured the essence of Faith very well, and also Tara's... I'm really hoping there will be more of this fic soon!

Patricia

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"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"

[Pixie]

quote:

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Originally posted by Chance:
[BI'll be back on this soon, promise. [/B]

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Woo hoo! I can't wait!quote:

[Italiangirl]

Chance, this fic is amazing. And beautiful. And amazing. And I'm in love with it. Music has always touched something deeper in me than words, I relate to it on an almost primal level. Your writing is so real that I can hear each character singing. I love the way you write Faith; I've always loved her, and always felt she and Buffy were meant to be together. I can't wait to read more of this. I actually got caught up in it in December, but I only just discovered your newer updates. Man do I need them right now, too.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for giving us such a great fic. Also, can you point me in the direction of any more good Buffy/Faith fics, or websites with their fics? I'm especially interested in fics that delve into Faith's past. I've read a few and they were great, I want more! Anyone's imput on this would be great. Thanks!

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"You're in my blood like Holy Wine
You taste so bitter, and so sweet
Darling, I could drink a case of you
And still be on my feet;
I would still be on my feet."
-Joni Mitchell