Let me know what you think of it as id like to write some more if this is any good at all, which i doubt!
Diclaimer:there charcters are not mine & Belong to Joss etc...
rated:maybe 15years + so be warned!
Set:near the end of Series 6 at night!
Storyline:Willow & Tara getting back together!
Feedback: Any would be appreciated!
Forgiving It All by Natalie Lane
As she had felt the power surging through her veins when she'd done the spell on Tara it had all been to easy to forget the pain & suffering that it’d cause Tara.
Tara had always meant the world to her ever since they'd met. She smiled remembering how Tara's shy smiles had made her feel special even when she felt low. The times that she'd be in full PMS swing in floods of tears just because she couldn’t get her hair right and Tara would be able to calm her with a single hug that’d make everything bad in the world disappear.
She remembered how when she had to kill the dear for the resurrection spell the only thing that had made it all seen right was that Buffy would be back, saved from whatever hell they'd all believed that she was trapped in.
Willow & the others only found out that they’d pulled her from a place that given her something that she'd never had on earth, peace & tranquillity.
Willow's breath caught as she remembered the agonising pain that shed felt when she found out Buffy had been in heaven. The memory made her feel sick, what had made it all worse was the fact that Tara couldn’t even bring herself to touch willow after she'd "Violated" her mind. That’s when the magic started taking her over inside.
Willow looked up at the room that she was in, all alone.
That night that Tara had left she had felt so numb she couldn’t even move, she just sat there alone, just like she was now.
Willow felt the tears begin to fall ad she remembered how she'd thought that the magic would make her feel whole again, the raw power that she had awaked after first using the Book of Darkest Magic. How good it’d felt when she had hurt Glory feeling the power coursing through her in complete control of it, or so she'd thought. She wanted to do whatever spells she desired without being made to feel guilty for hurting Tara, Buffy & putting Dawn in danger. How wrong she'd been.
As the tears rolled down her face one by one she remembered when she was close to causing the deaths of so many innocents to make herself feel in control again. The Demon had offered her free reign of her powers nearly convincing her that it was the only place that shed be accepted within the realms of dark magic. That night she'd been crazed, the bloody pumping round her body. It was that night that she was going to end it all stop that pain going round in her. As she'd stood at the top of the cliff, she had started to repeat the spell, knowing that unlike the last time she'd used it, this time she really would have ultimate control,
"Harken all ye elements, I summon thee now.Control the, control within.
Land & sea, fire & wind. Out of my passions, a web be spun. From this...."
It had been at that point that she stopped & fell to the floor screaming. Finally it had happened, the anger, the need for control had vanished. In that second that she had spoken the word passion she'd felt it, the feeling that shed forced herself to try to forget. The love that she'd had for Tara. That was the second that all her desires for magic had stopped.
As Willow got up off of her bed and walked over to the sink to try to wash her tear stained face she knew that no matter how bad she felt she'd made Tara feel worse.
Looking in the mirror she looked at her eyes, they were red & puffy from the days that she'd spent crying lately, but she say it. No longer were her eyes dark & distant full of the lust for power, they had returned to the emerald green that she had missed for so long.
"Look at what I’ve done to myself, to everyone I’ve ever cared for and to my only true love.Tara.I dont expect her to ever forgive me but i'd give anything to just see her again, tell her how sorry i am about it all, tell how how much i loveher & life has no point without her. And here I am standing alone talking to myself...how...how pathetic." She began to cry again and went and fell back onto the bed sheets. Holding herself, she cried herself to sleep.
What seemed like hours later, which I’m reality was only minutes, she woke up. Only to awake to find that she'd left a light on. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she nearly passed out.
" Oh my god...it cant be...Tara?"
As the light began to slowly rise and began to leave the room Willow leapt up and grabbed her coat putting whatever shoes she could find on her feet and followed the light. Willow ran down the hallway after the light until it stopped outside Tara's old dorm room, the door was slightly open, but Willow couldn’t make herself walk through the doorway. She didn’t feel that she had the right anymore, the light hovered in the doorway till Willow followed it inside.
As she closed the door behind her she noticed that only the fairy lights that adored the walls were on. She felt all the memories of the times that herself & Tara had spent in the room come flooding back to her. The nights that they'd just sat there and talked about stupid things just enjoying each other’s company when they’d just met. Those nights had turned into "sleepovers" and the friendship in to love. Her body tingled as she thought about their first kiss. How they’d both stood looking at each other after Tara had blown out the candle breathing almost silently. How good it had felt when Tara had put her hands round her waist as she'd leaned in to kiss her. The first brush of their lips causing them both to gasp & then groan after the tension had been released and how loved she'd felt as Tara held her.
Suddenly remembering where she was Willow looked around for Tara. Then she heard the door close and she turned round abruptly to see her, Tara. Tara moved forward her bright blue eyes never losing contact with Willows.
"Tara I..."
Willow was stopped as Tara shook her head and reached out and took hold of her hands. They both felt the warmth as the touch surprised them both with how good it felt. Tara risked a shy half smile at her and Willow returned it, Tara moved over to sit on the bed and pulled Willow down to sit next to her. She squeezed Willow's hands tight & looked up at her taking a big breath
"I...I...I...know w.w.what you felt tonight, ive felt it every night for the past few weeks. The pain you felt the regrets you had about everything, the loneliness...umm.. a.. a..and the.."
"The love that I have for you?"
Willow offered, wanting to say so much more but letting Tara explain her feelings.
Tara closed her eyes briefly and a tear rolled down her cheek. She looked up at Willow and stated,
"I understand Willow, I understand it all now. I don’t expect you too explain. I...I...n-n-never wanted to leave you but you understand that I had to so that you could see what was happening to you, so that you could free yourself from this dark magic that was consuming you. I knew that if I gave you time, I mean I hoped that you'd still w-w-w-w-want.... Me? B-b-b-b-because I still love you Willow, and I forgive you & I want you b-b-back?"
Tara looked at he floor letting her hair fall forward so that she could hide the pain of rejection. Willow put her hand under Tara's chin and lifted her head so that then were only inches apart and said softly
"I love you and there’s nothing more that I want than to be with you, your my always."
They both looked at each other and then Tara reached out and pulled Willow to her and held her tight. Both girls were crying but not the tears of pain, the tears of joy & relief that they both felt now that they had each other. As they pulled slowly apart they felt it as strong as ever, the lust, desire & need that they had for one another. Instinctively they both closed their eyes & moved towards each other & they kissed gently & tenderly. Tara's hand's moved round to hold Willow close to her as Willow's hands lazily stroked Tara's neck. After breaking for air they both acknowledged the need to skin against skin to renew the contact that they'd shared so many times before. As Tara slowly laid Willow down on the bed she felt Willows hands pull at her top. Lifting her arms she let Willow remove her clothing & then did the same to Willow. When they had both undressed Tara felt Willows hands on her back, softly drawing her down to her. They kissed again harder & more urgent as Tara moved her hands to run gently along Willow's arms feeling the Goosebumps form under her touch. Willow moaned out load and ran her hands down Tara's body to hold her butt so she could feel her lover more firmly against her. Tara's hands moved to Willow's breasts gently stroking the skin that she found there. After only a few more touches then began to slowly push against each other the contact making them both come in moments, still kissing & slowly allowing the other to touch lightly not wanting it to be too much for their first time back together. As they lay there in a warm embrace they both looked at each other and reaffirmed their earlier statements
"I love you Willow"
"I love you too Tara"
They held each other tight and for the first time in months they felt happy & sure that after this they could make it through anything. They both fell asleep arms, legs bodies intertwined both silently promising that they'd never hurt each other again.
--------------------------------------------
Tara:"Are you trying to turn me on?"
Willow:"What i have to try now?!"
[This message has been edited by xita (edited November 20, 2001).]