As if things couldn't get weirder....I thought of doing a " The further Misadventures of Willow and Tara" but it kept coming out " The furry Missing Dentures of Willow and Tara..." It was a fic about willow and Tara around sixty years from now...and Tara looses her teeth...and Willow finds them under the bed with the dust bunnies....total suspence drama piece....okay...I'm babbling.....
Have a nice afternoon!
Chapter Forty-Four: Over the Counterattack Pt. II????
"Necessity is the mother of invention."
A wise guy once said something to that effect….many many years ago….
Or maybe it was….. " You can’t always get what you want…
……but if you try sometimes…you just might find….you get what you need."
Wise words from the ancients……either way.
But I’m thinking that isn’t the point right now. I’m thinking that if anyone were to hurry in here out of the rain, he or she would be quite shocked to find absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.
Save maybe two witches locked in what would appear on the surface to be a World Wresting Federation cage match.
No referee…no rules…no mercy…..except the cardinal ‘keep it above the waist’
Which in the heat of passion turns into The First Annual First Base Babbling Pain Festival:
" Ow-ow-ow….!"
" Sorry." ( kissing)
" Hands! Hands!"
" Oops. Sorry…."
" Knee, Baby, knee…watch the…..ow!"
(more kissing)
" Goddess, I’ve missed you……..ooooowchie-wah-wah….!!!"
Tara knocks a bottle off a shelf under the counter with her foot in a knee-jerk reaction to the pain….and…we break apart..stare at the green liquid running over her ankle…. and look at each other for a moment…
I’m sure Tara is gauging the same question in her mind right now….
Is the pain REALLY worth all the damage that might ensue?
We weigh the factors for about two more seconds, nod silently, and crush ourselves into another embrace against the counter.
I’m completely engrossed in our current state. Nothing else seems to matter….
Outside the rain fell, and people went about their storm-soaked days, and I didn’t care.
I was kissing Tara…and Tara was saying my name against my lips and running her finger through my hair, and holding me so close, I could swear we were one person…. And the room was spinning, and her breath…her very essence was my own….and I might have been moaning something inane about the spinning of the world on its axis at this very moment….
" Dear Boobie Times Magazine….It was a cold and stormy afternoon when I forgot my wallet on the table of the magic shop…." Xander says with a Cheshire grin from his spot near the door. " I thought it was going to another tedious day in dullsville, when I come across two hot-patootie witches, making out with the lips, and the hands, and the hair…and the levitating…. And the floating my girlfriend’s merchandise…."
What???!!!
And everything in the store drops back loudly onto the shelves at the same time. The cash registers chimes a little as it lands on the counter, where it had, I have to assume, been hovering a few inches above. The drawer opens.
**Ka-ching!**
And Tara and I fall a good three feet to the floor.
Holy crappola!!
Xander is dripping rainwater onto the floor, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He seems very pleased with himself. Very pleased indeed… I straighten myself up, smooth my skirt, and pluck a receipt from my hair…. Tara rakes her fingers through her own hair…trying to tame it down.
I just wish he would stop grinning at us!
" So then they said…’Hey, handsome…why don’t you come over here and join us’… and I could not help but oblige…." Xander says, still seeming a little bit oddly unembarrassed by the predicament.
I’m slowly getting over my own embarrassment at being caught in a compromising situation with the woman I love….
In fact… I’ve seemed to have skipped that all together and gone straight to the righteous Tara-kiss interruptus anger. And the rage being doubled that I AM NOT KISSING HER RIGHT NOW!!!
" And then they laid him on the counter….." I start. His grin…though I’m not sure it is possible…grows broader.
" Yeah?" He says.
" ….and they conjure up a hairy troll to latch itself to his face…." I say thoughtfully.
His smile fades. He looks truly afraid that I just might do it….
" N…not funny, Will…."
" I’m not being FUNNY, Xander…." I threaten with a wry smile.
" Then START being funny, Will….." He says, inching back towards the door, hands up in a fending off motion.
Tara straightens the register, and shuts the drawer.
" We’d better clean this up before Anya comes back and has a fit…" She says. Xander springs at the idea.
" I’ll help…with the cleaning..of the…up…" He offers…showing he can be a big help by picking up a tipped over bottle from the shelf near him, dusting the spot beneath, and setting the bottle back.
I’m actually thinking he should go now. RIGHT NOW…so I can get back to the part where her lips and my lips were…like…. on each other. But he decides to stay…and help….damn him.
" So you two not getting ‘quality time’?" Xander asks…completely unaware that so far he has been party to about 50 percent of our plight of abstinence… " That why you’re so grouchy?"
I’m seriously considering launching something painfully heavy and sharp at him….and still he presses on.
" Dawn was telling me how you two seem a little ‘out of sorts’ lately…not that I know what ‘in sorts’ is really…..so, you two not getting the lovey dovey time? I thought that was what Date Night was for…."
" Xander…please…." Tara says…a little clippier than usual. She’s straightening up some dried frog bottles that had tipped over. Xander is closer now…he’s looking at us unabashedly
" Can I hang around you two the next time you decide you want to…get frisky..?" He speaks this like a totally ordinary request.
We both whip around.
" What???" What is WRONG with him??? Has he got a death wish??? Is he crazy???
" Cuz that zero gravity thing makes me kind of…giddy…tipsy like. Me like."Xander is oddly directing most of the conversation Tara’s way now.
" You FLEW???" I asked…not only afraid that I levitated my best friend while having a moment with my girlfriend, but also that he was being directly affected by our little indiscretion….in ways that I’m afraid to know were running through that boy-like mind of his.
" WHO BROKE IT??" Anya rails from the doorway. She storms inside and fixes me with a sinister glare.
" What??" I say…
" The bottle of concentrated coltsfoot oil I had under the counter…it’s a hundred dollars and ounce…" She says rapidly " I’m saying this fast because in a few moments, I’m not going to care who broke it, and I just want to put the blame somewhere…"
I’m racking my mind for the qualities of coltsfoot….. Anya sees my gears churning and helps me out..a little petulantly…
" Love and visions……whatever you do…don’t get any on you…."
" Or what?" Tara says, staring down at her foot.
" Well at concentrated levels it’s more like a lust beacon and some mildly inconvenient hallucinations….to whoever is wearing it….and I’m sooo mad about this but I’m finding it hard to put it into words rights now…" Her voice fades out and she is left staring over the counter
" Lust Beacon???" Tara looks terrified.
Anya is staring at Tara….
" You have the greatest hair, Tara…have I ever told you that??…." Anya says finally.
Tara looks at me.
" L-lust beacon, Willow. LUST BEACON. Things just keep getting weirder and weirder…. Are we EVER going get a break?" She says helplessly, touching her forehead in almost a simulation of an old-fashioned swoon.
All the while…I’m watching Xander and Anya ogling my Tara…and I’m trying to push back the one word that keeps popping into my head…
I turn to look at her.
Bambi?
And then she slams her hand down on the counter.
" The cupcake will eat the kitten if you don’t take the hat home right NOW!" She shouts, and bolts for the door.
TBC….
