quote:
Umm... how about a spicy Tara sandwich? *****Hey! No laughing...I researched Diana's advice about sex while pregnant. (Yes, you CAN finds anything on the Internet!)
Spicy Tara sandwich?!?!?! *eyes glazing over* I so want one of those. Glad to see you are so detailed when writing your stories. I still think the Tara blush was hilarious!
------------------
"She practically has 'genuine molded plastic' stamped on her ass.
[This message has been edited by katydid (edited January 21, 2002).]
IP: Logged
mollyig Sassy Eggs
Posts: 775 Registered: May 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 11:02 With the rollercoaster of emotions I felt reading the latest sections - happiness and optimisim at Willow and Tara's future, loathing of Amy and Rack - its like I've got the hormonal mood swings Tara's experiencing . . . except I ain't preggers!Lisa, you are a true storyteller! ------------------ The new Indigo Girls album, "Become You," is in stores Feb. 26, 2002. For more info, check out Indigo Girls web site at: http://www.indigogirls.com IP: Logged |
mariacomet Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 225 Registered: Nov 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 12:19 Okay, you know what...this is a great story. Too many reasons to list here, I think I am just gonna send an email. IP: Logged |
fell Sassy Eggs
Posts: 605 Registered: Nov 2000 | posted January 21, 2002 12:38 A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!! More cliffhangers! You wouldn't be half as evil if this wasn't so damn good. So much great stuff, and lots of wonderful, inventive ideas. I love snarky Anya, and the sandwich shop scene was lots of fun. The whole arc about Tara getting stronger than anybody realizes is great, and the threat to her pregnancy and connection to her family history, all very dramatic. I totally love Cassie and Diana. It's good that you give them their own scenes. The vision about Tara's mom and the baby added a lot of suspense. Scenes with other characters add a change of pace as well as a chance to see what other characters, like Dawn and Buffy f'rinstance, are feeling. Since i'm already in advice-gal mode from beta-ing someone else's fic i may as well be completely obnoxious... I would have shown rack and his minion plotting so the reader would be anticipating that something bad could happen any time while the scoobies were blithely munching their lunch. When writing the crisis scenes, like the attack for instance, don't be afraid to pour on the details and bring your readers right into the scene. These are, after all, the climactic moments for the suspense that's been building, the payoff. Writers often use shorter sentences to change the rhythm and strong adjectives and similes for more vivid imagery. While most people have never been in an actual deadly fight, the reaction is similar to being in a serious accident- time slows, insignificant details leap out, you're suddenly aware of your heartbeat and of how things smell. Suddenly everything matters, there's a rush of intense emotions. I guess it's a lot like sex, too. Anyway, you don't want to leave your readers less than satisfied, so you need to give it your all and pour your heart into that moment. It's one of the incongrous things about writing- that it can take much longer to read the description of a critical moment than the event would take to happen. But the reason movies, which can show an action in real time, haven't replaced books is that the written description is often so much richer and more rewarding, allowing the reader to savor the moment. Your narrative pov isn't centered in one character, most of the time it's omniscient which keeps the reader equidistant from each character. This is fine, but for a change of pace at a crisis moment, like when Tara freaks out at the ob/gyn's, you could shift completely into one person's pov. This brings the reader right into the scene. Often writers will depict a scene from one person's pov then switch and replay the same events from another's. My apologies for rambling on and on. I sometimes suffer from an excess of enthusiasm and this time it's all your fault. I'm totally loving your story! ------------------ That'll put marzipan in your pie-plate, bingo! IP: Logged |
Lisa of Nine Doll's Eye Crystal
Posts: 116 Registered: May 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 20:52 Okay, here is tonight's chapter. ASSUME CRASH POSITIONS! High angst from here on out. Enjoy, Lisa http://www.quiknet.com/~lcountry/uncon18.html I will post replies as an edit to this post. You can all read while I type.  Thanks for all the support. L IP: Logged |
Kalita Big Pineapple
Posts: 1148 Registered: Jan 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 21:17 Ouch! Tara gets back just a minute too late.Nifty to see the notes from her Mom; I hope the Refero spell isn't necessary, but with the way you've set this up.... Well, keep it coming. The best cure for cliffhangeritis is always the next chapter... IP: Logged |
Kilopto Doll's Eye Crystal
Posts: 59 Registered: Nov 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 21:17 Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(that's all I have to say about chapter 18.....) IP: Logged |
jomarch Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 260 Registered: Nov 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 21:33 Oh my God!! So much angst and I'm at work. Am now going back to read your other fic so I can get a happy ending today :-).PS Great writing as usual. IP: Logged |
willow_thebadasswitch Doll's Eye Crystal
Posts: 104 Registered: Dec 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 21:57 I assumed crash position... now I'm pacing w/ worry. Biting my nails even. So Tara now has the refero in her book of shadows. But can she use it while the binding spell is still in effect? *sigh* Being tossed around like that isn't gonna be good for the baby.Oh my comment about chapter 17 being easier to read than chapter 16?? I felt I was in a rollercoaster ride whilst I was reading chapter 16. I meant it was easier on me poor heart. Ooh kick ass Anya. This is an excellent installment, Lisa. ~Caro IP: Logged |
Sassette Cool Monster Fighter
Posts: 263 Registered: Nov 2001 | posted January 21, 2002 22:10 Oh, that was cruel and unusual. I'm too stunned to write a haiku expressing my dismay that this part ended there, so you don't get one this time.-Sass IP: Logged |
quote:IP: LoggedmollyigSassy Eggs
Posts: 775
Registered: May 2001 posted January 21, 2002 11:02
With the rollercoaster of emotions I felt reading the latest sections - happiness and optimisim at Willow and Tara's future, loathing of Amy and Rack - its like I've got the hormonal mood swings Tara's experiencing . . . except I ain't preggers!Lisa, you are a true storyteller!
------------------
The new Indigo Girls album, "Become You," is in stores Feb. 26, 2002. For
more info, check out Indigo Girls web site at: http://www.indigogirls.com
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 11:02 With the rollercoaster of emotions I felt reading the latest sections - happiness and optimisim at Willow and Tara's future, loathing of Amy and Rack - its like I've got the hormonal mood swings Tara's experiencing . . . except I ain't preggers!Lisa, you are a true storyteller!
------------------
The new Indigo Girls album, "Become You," is in stores Feb. 26, 2002. For
more info, check out Indigo Girls web site at: http://www.indigogirls.com
IP: LoggedmariacometCool Monster Fighter
Posts: 225
Registered: Nov 2001 posted January 21, 2002 12:19
Okay, you know what...this is a great story. Too many reasons to list here, I think I am just gonna send an email.
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 12:19 Okay, you know what...this is a great story. Too many reasons to list here, I think I am just gonna send an email.
IP: LoggedfellSassy Eggs
Posts: 605
Registered: Nov 2000 posted January 21, 2002 12:38
A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!
More cliffhangers! You wouldn't be half as evil if this wasn't so damn good. So much great stuff, and lots of wonderful, inventive ideas. I love snarky Anya, and the sandwich shop scene was lots of fun. The whole arc about Tara getting stronger than anybody realizes is great, and the threat to her pregnancy and connection to her family history, all very dramatic.
I totally love Cassie and Diana. It's good that you give them their own scenes. The vision about Tara's mom and the baby added a lot of suspense. Scenes with other characters add a change of pace as well as a chance to see what other characters, like Dawn and Buffy f'rinstance, are feeling.
Since i'm already in advice-gal mode from beta-ing someone else's fic i may as well be completely obnoxious...
I would have shown rack and his minion plotting so the reader would be anticipating that something bad could happen any time while the scoobies were blithely munching their lunch.
When writing the crisis scenes, like the attack for instance, don't be afraid to pour on the details and bring your readers right into the scene. These are, after all, the climactic moments for the suspense that's been building, the payoff. Writers often use shorter sentences to change the rhythm and strong adjectives and similes for more vivid imagery.
While most people have never been in an actual deadly fight, the reaction is similar to being in a serious accident- time slows, insignificant details leap out, you're suddenly aware of your heartbeat and of how things smell. Suddenly everything matters, there's a rush of intense emotions. I guess it's a lot like sex, too. Anyway, you don't want to leave your readers less than satisfied, so you need to give it your all and pour your heart into that moment.
It's one of the incongrous things about writing- that it can take much longer to read the description of a critical moment than the event would take to happen. But the reason movies, which can show an action in real time, haven't replaced books is that the written description is often so much richer and more rewarding, allowing the reader to savor the moment.
Your narrative pov isn't centered in one character, most of the time it's omniscient which keeps the reader equidistant from each character. This is fine, but for a change of pace at a crisis moment, like when Tara freaks out at the ob/gyn's, you could shift completely into one person's pov. This brings the reader right into the scene. Often writers will depict a scene from one person's pov then switch and replay the same events from another's.
My apologies for rambling on and on. I sometimes suffer from an excess of enthusiasm and this time it's all your fault. I'm totally loving your story!
------------------
That'll put marzipan in your pie-plate, bingo!
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 12:38 A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!
More cliffhangers! You wouldn't be half as evil if this wasn't so damn good. So much great stuff, and lots of wonderful, inventive ideas. I love snarky Anya, and the sandwich shop scene was lots of fun. The whole arc about Tara getting stronger than anybody realizes is great, and the threat to her pregnancy and connection to her family history, all very dramatic.
I totally love Cassie and Diana. It's good that you give them their own scenes. The vision about Tara's mom and the baby added a lot of suspense. Scenes with other characters add a change of pace as well as a chance to see what other characters, like Dawn and Buffy f'rinstance, are feeling.
Since i'm already in advice-gal mode from beta-ing someone else's fic i may as well be completely obnoxious...
I would have shown rack and his minion plotting so the reader would be anticipating that something bad could happen any time while the scoobies were blithely munching their lunch.
When writing the crisis scenes, like the attack for instance, don't be afraid to pour on the details and bring your readers right into the scene. These are, after all, the climactic moments for the suspense that's been building, the payoff. Writers often use shorter sentences to change the rhythm and strong adjectives and similes for more vivid imagery.
While most people have never been in an actual deadly fight, the reaction is similar to being in a serious accident- time slows, insignificant details leap out, you're suddenly aware of your heartbeat and of how things smell. Suddenly everything matters, there's a rush of intense emotions. I guess it's a lot like sex, too. Anyway, you don't want to leave your readers less than satisfied, so you need to give it your all and pour your heart into that moment.
It's one of the incongrous things about writing- that it can take much longer to read the description of a critical moment than the event would take to happen. But the reason movies, which can show an action in real time, haven't replaced books is that the written description is often so much richer and more rewarding, allowing the reader to savor the moment.
Your narrative pov isn't centered in one character, most of the time it's omniscient which keeps the reader equidistant from each character. This is fine, but for a change of pace at a crisis moment, like when Tara freaks out at the ob/gyn's, you could shift completely into one person's pov. This brings the reader right into the scene. Often writers will depict a scene from one person's pov then switch and replay the same events from another's.
My apologies for rambling on and on. I sometimes suffer from an excess of enthusiasm and this time it's all your fault. I'm totally loving your story!
------------------
That'll put marzipan in your pie-plate, bingo!
IP: LoggedLisa of NineDoll's Eye Crystal
Posts: 116
Registered: May 2001 posted January 21, 2002 20:52
Okay, here is tonight's chapter.
ASSUME CRASH POSITIONS!
High angst from here on out.
Enjoy,
Lisa http://www.quiknet.com/~lcountry/uncon18.html I will post replies as an edit to this post. You can all read while I type. 
Thanks for all the support.
L
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 20:52 Okay, here is tonight's chapter.
ASSUME CRASH POSITIONS!
High angst from here on out.
Enjoy,
Lisa http://www.quiknet.com/~lcountry/uncon18.html I will post replies as an edit to this post. You can all read while I type. 
Thanks for all the support.
L
IP: LoggedKalitaBig Pineapple
Posts: 1148
Registered: Jan 2001 posted January 21, 2002 21:17
Ouch! Tara gets back just a minute too late.Nifty to see the notes from her Mom; I hope the Refero spell isn't necessary, but with the way you've set this up....
Well, keep it coming. The best cure for cliffhangeritis is always the next chapter...
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 21:17 Ouch! Tara gets back just a minute too late.Nifty to see the notes from her Mom; I hope the Refero spell isn't necessary, but with the way you've set this up....
Well, keep it coming. The best cure for cliffhangeritis is always the next chapter...
IP: LoggedKiloptoDoll's Eye Crystal
Posts: 59
Registered: Nov 2001 posted January 21, 2002 21:17
Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(that's all I have to say about chapter 18.....)
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 21:17 Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(that's all I have to say about chapter 18.....)
IP: LoggedjomarchCool Monster Fighter
Posts: 260
Registered: Nov 2001 posted January 21, 2002 21:33
Oh my God!! So much angst and I'm at work. Am now going back to read your other fic so I can get a happy ending today :-).PS Great writing as usual.
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 21:33 Oh my God!! So much angst and I'm at work. Am now going back to read your other fic so I can get a happy ending today :-).PS Great writing as usual.
IP: Loggedwillow_thebadasswitchDoll's Eye Crystal
Posts: 104
Registered: Dec 2001 posted January 21, 2002 21:57
I assumed crash position... now I'm pacing w/ worry. Biting my nails even. So Tara now has the refero in her book of shadows. But can she use it while the binding spell is still in effect? *sigh* Being tossed around like that isn't gonna be good for the baby.Oh my comment about chapter 17 being easier to read than chapter 16?? I felt I was in a rollercoaster ride whilst I was reading chapter 16. I meant it was easier on me poor heart.
Ooh kick ass Anya.
This is an excellent installment, Lisa.
~Caro
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 21:57 I assumed crash position... now I'm pacing w/ worry. Biting my nails even. So Tara now has the refero in her book of shadows. But can she use it while the binding spell is still in effect? *sigh* Being tossed around like that isn't gonna be good for the baby.Oh my comment about chapter 17 being easier to read than chapter 16?? I felt I was in a rollercoaster ride whilst I was reading chapter 16. I meant it was easier on me poor heart.
Ooh kick ass Anya.
This is an excellent installment, Lisa.
~Caro
IP: LoggedSassetteCool Monster Fighter
Posts: 263
Registered: Nov 2001 posted January 21, 2002 22:10
Oh, that was cruel and unusual. I'm too stunned to write a haiku expressing my
dismay that this part ended there, so you
don't get one this time.-Sass
IP: Logged
posted January 21, 2002 22:10 Oh, that was cruel and unusual. I'm too stunned to write a haiku expressing my
dismay that this part ended there, so you
don't get one this time.-Sass