Can't get enough ... teeheehee i get that giddy feeling every time there is an update lol
~*~Tamara~*~
by TL983 » Sat Jan 12, 2002 10:43 am
~*~Tamara~*~
by Corto » Sat Jan 12, 2002 10:59 am
by xita » Sat Jan 12, 2002 11:08 am
by Rane » Sat Jan 12, 2002 2:02 pm
by xita » Sat Jan 12, 2002 2:16 pm
by WiggleStick » Sat Jan 12, 2002 2:16 pm
by Warduke » Sat Jan 12, 2002 2:17 pm
by Scout » Sat Jan 12, 2002 2:36 pm
by Quill » Sat Jan 12, 2002 2:40 pm
by AutumnT » Sat Jan 12, 2002 3:00 pm
Autumn
by scylla » Sat Jan 12, 2002 4:17 pm
by Kittie17 » Sat Jan 12, 2002 4:39 pm
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Todo lo que necesitamos es sentido comun y eso no puede ser enseñado
by Rane » Sat Jan 12, 2002 5:02 pm
thank you for your comments and emails. i love you all so much it's nice to know that many of you understand what i'm going through and that i can count on all of you for support. *HUGS*
and i'm sorry i made the fic all angsty all of the sudden, it's just were i headed. but do know that (obviously) there will be make up smoochies, snugglies, and loving. lovin' makes me happy. i need happy. though reading it is easier than writing it. it'll be another challenge i guess and i need to take my mind off the world for a while.
so, again, thank you all so much.
by KittyKo » Sat Jan 12, 2002 5:27 pm
by Puff » Sat Jan 12, 2002 5:53 pm
Sending {Hugs} your way.
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Bloody hell, sodding, limey, shagging, knickers, bollocks...oh God...I'm English
by giggle_bug » Sat Jan 12, 2002 6:45 pm
i also wanted to say (and ur probably sick of hearing it,and other ppl's stories)keep strong about ur mum. my mum had cancer when i was 13 and she came through it and that was aages ago so just think how great medical science has advanced since then (six years).keep positive. u have all our support,
L xxx
by The Rose » Sat Jan 12, 2002 7:18 pm
I am really sorry about your mom. She will get through it. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
by Dramatic KittyKat » Sat Jan 12, 2002 10:09 pm
Just wanted to post a reply again and say that this brilliant and Rane - are you writing a novel at the moment (offline) with yer own chars and such? If you are, great, get it published, if you haven't already done so. If not, you should.
Me
by kpmuse » Sat Jan 12, 2002 10:49 pm
Kris
by lurker1.0 » Sun Jan 13, 2002 12:19 am
by Jae » Sun Jan 13, 2002 12:44 am
by emily 'first' » Sun Jan 13, 2002 5:31 am
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vive,valeque.
by TL983 » Sun Jan 13, 2002 11:03 am
sending Best wishes
~*~Tamara~*~
by Fuzz » Sun Jan 13, 2002 12:08 pm
*hug*
~Fuzz~
by bearskeeper » Sun Jan 13, 2002 2:58 pm
by Kajun » Sun Jan 13, 2002 11:22 pm
Sending good thoughts and warm blessings to you and your family..
by Aria » Sun Jan 13, 2002 11:44 pm
Hope everything turns out ok for your mom. hugsies!!
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Piffle
by Rane » Mon Jan 14, 2002 1:39 pm
I just spoke to my mum and we're staying positive, ya know. thank you all for your emails and well wishes. i'm going to email her this thread. make her happy.
here's an update. probably the last one in a while. i'll still be in and out of the internet so play nice y'all!
*************
Willow spent the rest of the round robins in a gloomy mood. She always did this, she let her thoughts run wild in her mind and then never had the willpower to stop her babbling once she began to speak the aloud. Adding to her misery was Tara’s absence from the dining hall during lunch.
After lunch, an impromptu game of tag football was assembled between the staff and campers and most went to either play or watch. Since the play rehearsals were postponed until the second hour of the break, Willow went to shower to try and settle her mind
She wanted to go to the stables and see Tara but she wasn’t sure if Tara would be there. She even made a peanut butter sandwich for her at lunch but left it behind when she remembered Tara didn’t like peanuts.
She reflected on the fact that she knew what frightened her and what made her happy, what the blonde liked and what she didn’t like. She mentally made a list as she showered. Likes: vanilla (that was a given though), cats, rainy days, telling stories, playing with flower petals... Dislikes: moonless nights, mean people, lonelyness.
Within the last two weeks both had shared so many secrets, so many hopes and dreams that Willow couldn’t believe the bond was so strong between them. It was more than just magick, it was more than attraction, it was something deeper. She’d never had that before.
Xander was her best friend since childhood. Her knight in less than shiny armor that always made her laugh when he wasn’t making her miserable by fooling around. Buffy was her best friend too. She’d only known Buffy for four years but they had gotten close pretty quickly. She guessed that usually happened when someone saved your life and you fought the good fight alongside them. Oz had been a slow development but Willow knew she would always be able to count on him. No matter what he always put her first, and it was very comforting to know that. But Tara… Happy thoughts came to Willow while underneath the running water.
After her shower, Willow heart still ached and her mind raced. Ultimately, she decided she would go to the barn and look for Tara. Lost in her own little world, she didn’t notice she was walking through a section of the football field. She also didn’t hear the screams coming from campers and counselors behind her as a football knocked her on her head. She quickly fell to the ground.
**************
“Ow, my head.” Willow groggily uttered once she came to. She could smell the scent of rubbing alcohol and knew at once that she was in the infirmary.
“Willow?!” Buffy quickly walked over to the cot. She tried not to talk so loud to her friend. “Are you ok? Can you see me? Can you hear me? How many of me do you see?” she whispered.
“Just one annoying Buffy, Buffy.”
“Good. I mean, hey!”
“Willow, are you all right?” The nurse, Ms. Calendar, asked as she peered into her line of vision. “Are you dizzy? Vision blurry?” She proceeded examine Willow.
“Eyes blurry. Head hurts.” She frowned as Miss Calendar checked her eyes.
“You were hit by a football, Will.”
“Did you slay it?” She asked as the nurse reviewed her reflexes.
“No, you pretty much did. With you head. Are you sure you’re ok?”
Miss Calendar was now checking her pulse. “I think so. I feel like my brain fell out though.”
“Miss Calendar?” Buffy asked, panicked.
Miss Calendar smiled sweetly. “Don’t worry, Buffy. She’s just in shock. She needs a few hours of rest and then she’ll be as good as new.”
“You promise?”
“Yes, otherwise we’ll have to take her to a doctor in town.”
“No, no doctor. No like them.” Willow said as sleep conquered her again.
**********
By the time Willow woke up again the sun had set. She slowly opened her eyes only to find her vision was still blurred. As she took a deep breath she smelled her. Vanilla.
“Tara?” She managed to say even though her throat was parched.
Oz quickly awoke at the sound of her voice. “Will?”
“Tara?”
Oz rose from one of the chairs in the room. “Oh, she was here for a while. But she had to go. Something about being late.”
“She left?” Willow pouted, she felt even worse. “Water, please.”
“Of course,” He said as he grabbed a bottle from the mini fridge. After opening the bottle he walked over to Willow and sat on the ground by the cot. He handed the bottle over to the redhead and began to lovingly run his fingers through her hair. “We all were very worried about you. Especially Tara.”
“Was she?” she asked downheartedly after taking a large sip.
“You guys have become close, closer, haven’t you?” he said with a bit of a tremble in his voice.
“S-o-r-t of.” Willow replied. She didn’t want to get into this conversation with Oz. It would hurt too much.
He retracted his hand from her hair. “That’s nice… I mean-”
“Oz?” She focused her eyes on her ex boyfriend, Willow could tell he was uncomfortable.
“I just… Be careful.” He voiced as he looked at her broken-hearted.
“Careful? Oz…” She hated to see that look on his face. It was the same look he gave her when he caught her and Xander making out during their fluke. The same look when she’d pleaded with him to take her back, the same look when he broke up with her.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Willow. You have an incredible heart and… She’s great and… likable. She’s very...”
“You- You know?”
“Yeah.” He said as he stood up.
“How?”
Oz half smirked as he gazed over to Willow. “Your whole face lights up when you see her or even talk about her, your body language changes. It’s quite interesting actually.”
“Interesting?”
“I’m- uh, I’m going to go.”
“Oz, wait.”
“No. I gotto go.” He said as she walked out of the room.
Willow began to silently cry as soon as the door shut behind him. Why were things so complicated? Now Oz was mad and Tara was mad, she had two people she loved dearly angry with her.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. Miss Calendar entered.
“How are you doing, Willow?” she asked.
“Peachy.”
“Well, you have two visitors. You up for it?”
“Certainly. I’m up.” She said sarcastically, motioning to the bed she was laying on.
“Is she always this chipper when she wakes up?” she jokingly asked Xander and Buffy as they entered the room.
“Well, not really. No.” Buffy smiled.
“Hey, I’m chipper. Just saving energy.”
“I have something for energy right here,” Xander said as he brought over a plate full of Willow’s favorite fruits and vegetables. He included tonight’s chicken dinner as well. “Somebody order room service?”
Willow smiled until she saw the apple. It reminded her of Tara. Again, her mind swirled with Tara filled thoughts.
“Is she sleeping with her eyes open?” Xander asked Buffy as they stared at Willow.
Willow was still lost in thoughts but her frown was slowly curling up in a smile. “Probably thinking about Tara.” Buffy guessed aloud. She quickly realized what she’d said and looked away from Willow.
“Ah, yes, Tara. Quite a looker if you ask me. Smells really nice too. I’d… What?” He asked as soon as Buffy’s glare registered. “Wait, why would Willow be- Oh! What? How? Huh?”
“Old news. Where’ve you been?”
“In the kitchen slaving away! I thought it’s be the easiest job this summer but it’s so difficult to remember all the temperatures and stuff. And all those machines- Steamers, dishwashers. The campers don’t help me out, they just throw leftover food at each other. And the moping is murder!” Xander looked back at Willow. “When did this happen?”
Willow was suddenly back in the conversation, “Earlier today. I was hit by a football.”
“And that made you gay?”
“Huh?” she asked, still a bit dazed.
“He’s talking about Tara.”
“Buffy!” Willow shot daggers at her.
“Willow, why didn’t you tell me?” Xander asked, hurt.
Buffy popped a grape in her mouth. “She didn’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t have to tell anyone. It’s my business.” Willow replied.
“Well, me and Riley knew.”
“Riley was there with you last night?!” Willow asked freaking out Riley had also spied on her and Tara.
“Where? Oh my god! Wait! You’re cheating on Oz? Again?”
“What? No, Xander." He sure was slow sometimes. "It’s Tara. Just Tara.” Willow professed.
“Tara? Last night? Holy Sappho. You and Tara?” his eyes twinkled. “So, that’s why you smelled like-“
“Xander!” Both Buffy and Willow yelled.
“Vanilla! Geez. Why didn’t you tell me, Will? Everything you said last night, that was all about her? We were sharing. Why didn’t…” He had on his hurt puppy dog face. “You could have told me.”
“Xander, you’re my oldest and bestest friend in the whole wide world, who brings me lots of goodies to eat when I’m in the infirmary, but you made your eyebrows wiggle when you were talking about the thought of me and another girl.” Willow fought the smirk trying to spread over her features. “That’s not a very share with me your internal turmoil expression. That was more of an ‘ooh, lesbians rock’ look.” She smiled.
He shook his head, he knew he’d lost the battle. “You kill me, Rosenberg. You always kill me with that smile of yours.”
“I know. Now let me eat the food you brought. I’m starving.”
******************
It had been a few minutes after lights out and Willow had told Buffy she was all right to stay in the cabin with their girls. Buffy hadn’t wanted to leave her alone but knew nothing could happen, she was in a cabin with six other girls. So she went to the bonfire to meet up with Riley.
Miss Calendar jokingly told Willow not to lose herself in thought so much when crossing a football field again, but she was doing exactly that now. Not the crossing a football field part, just the thoughts while lying in her bed. Her thoughts were all on Tara.
Two of her campers were sleeping while the other four were gathered on a corner bed talking to themselves, but Willow didn’t care. Lights out be dammed. She knew they were cooking up a raid so tried hard to listen while pretending to be asleep but couldn’t. She was restless thinking of her blonde.
“Tara…” she whispered under her breath. She looked outside the window by the front door conveniently located next to her bed. She could see the stars through the mosquito net and the bright moon.
“No, we have to go around it.” Jenn whispered to the girls gathered on her bed.
“We cant. It’s all like grassy and I heard there are snakes underneath the cabin.” Kimberly said she shook her head in fear. “I don’t like snakes.”
“Why can’t we just go through the front?” Jamie asked as she settled her cast in her over the shoulder sling.
“Are you girls planning what I think your planning?” Willow whispered loud enough for them to hear.
“No!” Jenn was startled. “We’re not planning anything.”
Willow chuckled. “Tell you what. Next week, after outward bound, Buffy and I will help you raid cabin 5.” Cabin number five for some reason had the all hottest boys in camp and all the teenaged girls were in love with them. Willow knew from experience that boys, especially during outward bound, in their juvenile quest to impress the ladies, out did themselves and were so tired that a bomb would not be able to wake them up the next night.
The girls all gasped in glee and ran over to Willow’s bed crating a huge ruckus with the creaky floors and their burst of giggles.
“Shhh!” the redhead laughed again. “You’ll wake up everybody.”
The girls all settled in around Willow as Willow sat up. All were talking at the same time, asking how she was feeling, asking questions about the outward bound, and about the boys from cabin five.
************
A few hours later Willow awoke to a gentle breeze passing through her window. She looked over to Buffy’s bed and noticed the Slayer hadn’t come back from the bonfire. She didn't think much of it. Sometimes she’d stay the night with Riley returning early in the morning before her campers woke up.
She yawned as she stretched in her bed and felt her back spasm. She’d been in bed too long. Even though it was three in the morning Willow decided to go for a walk and so she brushed her teeth, bundled up and headed out. She whispered the protection spell Tara taught her the night before as the moonlight bathed her.
While she strolled around the quiet camp she noticed some lights in the kitchen were lit and heard some noises coming from inside. She wondered if someone was raiding it. However, they weren’t being very smart about it with the lights on and the sounds of pots falling on the floor. As she neared the kitchen she heard a moan and stopped in her tracks.
“Cordy.” she heard Xander’s voice quite clearly.
“Don’t stop, Xander.” Cordelia groaned back. “oh, right there.”
Willow heart began to race and she was about ready to throw up. Xander and Cordelia? Yuck. Double yuck. Not wanting to hear their noises anymore she took of running through the camp. She wasn’t paying attention to where she was going, she didn’t care.
She wasn’t hurt Xander and Cordelia were… It was just upsetting. They had formed the “I hate Cordelia Chase Club” in middle school together! She treated him like crap, treated Willow like crap. ‘But hormones have a way of betraying you,’ she guessed.
Before she realized it she was at the stables. She’d run all the way to the stables in the middle of the night without even thinking about it. She also noticed a little flicker of light coming from the inside.
“Tara?” she whispered into the night.
She stood still and listened for noises that would let her know she wouldn’t be coming across another amorous couple that evening. After about half a minute she didn’t hear anything and gently knocked on the door. Without waiting she opened one of the large doors and entered the barn.
“Tara?” She asked a bit louder this time.
She heard some rustling from above and heard her voice, “Willow?”
“Hey.” She said as she looked up to Tara lying in the barracks again. She was on her stomach, book in hand with her little lantern glowing next to her. “What are you doing here?” the redhead asked as a sense of warmthness enveloped her. The sight of Tara melted her heart.
“I couldn’t s-sleep. W-what are you doing out?” apprehensively the blonde asked.
“Couldn’t sleep either.” She knew Tara was nervous. She also knew it was her fault. “Look, about this afternoon-“ she began.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Tara dolefully mentioned as she turned on her back and proceeded to read her book again.
Willow’s heart stopped. “Tara, no. I-“ She quickly looked at the barracks and tried to figure out a way to get up there. She could use the stack of hay against one of the pens to help herself up, but what if she lost her balance and was knocked out again? What if she-
Willow heard a soft chuckle from above. Tara was now looking over at her scheming her way onto the barracks. Willow’s face always betrayed her internal contemplation.
Willow smiled softly, “Help me.” The redhead could swear even with the dim candlelight she saw various conflicting emotions play through Tara’s face. “Please. I want to talk to you, Tara.”
Tara cautiously nodded and turned over on her stomach again holding out her right hand to Willow. Willow clasped it and lifted herself onto the haystack. It was quite wobbly but Tara’s firm grip helped her steady herself. Tara quickly reached over with her left and held her with both hands.
“Put your right foot on the ledge over there.” The blonde guided her. “Then lift yourself up with your leg.”
Willow knew this meant she would be up in the air for a few seconds and she didn’t think it was such a good idea after having been knocked out earlier that day. Even though she trusted Tara she mouthed, “Don’t let go.” as she took a deep breath readying herself for the lift.
Tara nodded her head sweetly and then told Willow that it was time for her move. Willow did. But in the rush of lifting she grew a bit dizzy and lost her balance. She began to fall back, her feet losing their footing on the stack. “Tara!” she shouted.
“I got you!” Tara voiced as she quickly sat up and held on to Willow. Tara was not a skinny person but she wasn’t a big girl either. Wherever her strength came from that allowed her to lift Willow up to the barrack alone was unknown.
But with the thrusting of Willow up towards her Tara fell on her back and Willow landed on her tummy. Both girls exhaled deeply knowing they were safe. At once, Willow leaned over to Tara and kissed her. She was hurt when Tara gently pulled her away, unlocking their lips.
“Willow…” Tara hoarsely whispered as she looked away. She wanted nothing more than to feel her lips again, touch her, hold her close, but Tara didn’t know anymore how Willow felt about her.
Willow drew back a stray lock of hair from her face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about this afternoon. I was a big dummy. And the gods agree, I got hit by a football. Knocked me out.”
“Will, that’s not funny. You could have been seriously hurt.”
Willow saw the concern in Tara’s eyes and appreciated it. “I know but… I freaked out, I’m sorry. I just…” Willow leaned over on her back, both girls now stared at the ceiling. “Things were going so good and I thought- well, I thought it was like a set up. You know?” Tara shook her head softly. “I didn’t know if you liked me for me or from what Oz told you about me.”
“I like you for you, Willow. Oz told me a couple of things about you but it doesn’t compare to the actual you. To actually talking to you, being with you. Nothing comes close to the real you.”
Willow looked over to Tara and scanned her profile in the candlelight. Tara has a sculpted face, so beautiful and sensual.
Tara turned to look at her, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I just didn’t want you to think that.”
“It’s my fault. I was totally out of line. You know how people in love are always kinda crazy? Well, I’m normally like that so I guess double it- no tripple it up with me being in love and you get what you got. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you are kinda wacky aren’t you?” Tara smiled.
Willow turned over to her side, her head held up by her hand. She slowly reached out and softly traced her fingers over Tara’s neck, “You calm me though. When I’m with you I’m calm. How do you do that? How can you be so mature and wise and not act like a silly teenager? Like me.”
“I’m actually a 200 year old wood sprite.” She answered with a straight face.
Willow giggled and immediately kissed her lips. She slowly pulled back. “I love you.” She murmured sincerely as she stared into her blue eyes. She saw tears forming and leaned over to kiss her nose and eyelids. “Shh… Don’t cry baby.” She kissed the tears away. Willow half smiled and sighed. “So, why can’t you sleep?”
Tara grinned as wiped her tears and replied, “I was worried. The girl I’m in love with was hit by a football.”
“Oh! I heard about that. She was off in her own little world and didn’t hear people screaming for her to get off the field. I’m sure it was a hilarious sight.”
Tara frowned and whispered aloud. “It wasn’t. I was terrified.”
“You saw it?” Tara nodded sadly. Willow felt horrible. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I was thinking of you and I didn’t…” Tara’s hand was now slowly tracing her fingers over Willow’s cheek, caressing her features. “I…” she closed her eyes in bliss.
Ever so slowly, Tara pulled Willow’s face closer to hers and kissed her forehead near the big red mark left by the football that was turning a bit purple-y as it bruised. They looked deep within each other’s eyes and kissed again. Gently, lips brushed upon lips, tongues roamed inside and out as Willow traced Tara’s mouth before playfully assaulting it again.
Hands roamed and pressed bodies closer, fingers caressed emotions higher as bosom’s pressed, and areas were bitten gently, spots sucked on lovingly. Willow deliberately took her time feeling, touching, learning Tara. And Tara, at a leisurely pace as well, did the same.
**************
this is it for now. hope you've enjoyed it so far...
by Jessie » Mon Jan 14, 2002 2:14 pm
always a pleasure ...
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"And how long have you known your girlfriend's Tinkerbell?"
by 'lucy' moore » Mon Jan 14, 2002 2:20 pm
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fiat justitia,ruat caelum.
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