Sassette should be pleased to come back here and find her thread has been kept toasty-warm by such talents!
kudos
------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
by wiccachica » Fri Mar 15, 2002 4:46 pm
Sassette should be pleased to come back here and find her thread has been kept toasty-warm by such talents!
kudos
------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
by Pixie » Fri Mar 15, 2002 5:05 pm
Thanks for the panties, CK and WI.
Hey, WI, cool fake update!!
by jomarch » Fri Mar 15, 2002 5:44 pm
Ok, whose next with the update? Owl??? It's Saturday morning here and I have to go for a golf game in 15min but I will try and do something when I come back so the squad will either get a new cheer to practice or a fake update.
by WiccansIllusion » Fri Mar 15, 2002 6:56 pm
God that sounds naughty...thank goodness I was on the basketball team instead of cheer squad..no.wait, if every squad was like this, why wasn't I on??
by Willowfan » Fri Mar 15, 2002 11:09 pm
********************************************
Now...these are some of my personal fav's from the story...and why.
Except, somehow, it hadn't cost her a second chance. Her friends, even now, were standing around the pit, asking her to come out. Xander had even remembered to bring a rope, she thought with a humorless laugh, feeling the crinkly edges of the wrinkled paper against her palm and fingers.- I love the whole Xander/ Willow interaction. This being a W/T board, sometime the fact that Xander and Willow have been inseperable since the sandbox sometimes gets overlooked. I maintain to this day, no-one knows Willow better than Xander, and vice versa. Great job pointing that out.
"I love you too," Anya said, an uncharacteristic look of devotion crossing her face, making Tara wonder if this Anya - this woman who was so clearly in love - was the one Xander was used to seeing. "But this call is costing money, so I should go. Call if anything else happens."- I love the Anya that Xander sees. It's true...she is totally different to Xander. But...she's still Anya. Great Anya writing.
"Why do I always have to be Ms. Pollyanna Sweetness and Light?"- Tara can't escape who she is...it's her nature. I love it.
"Everything's going to be okay," Anya said firmly.
"Everything? Which everything?" Tara asked, her lips pressing into a thin line. "Global warming? We'll fix the ozone layer?" she asked, warming up to the topic and getting on a roll. "Gay marriages will be legalized everywhere? Hot dogs and hot dog buns will have the same number of edibles in their packages? Britney Spears will be exposed as a no-talent cock-tease?"- Just a funny bonding moment between Anya and Tara...hehehe.. Tara said cock-tease....hehe.
“You’re the strongest person I know, Will,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “Because you do this without Slayer Powers. You always have, even from the beginning. You and Xander amaze me,” she confessed- I never felt that Buffy really gave due credit to Willow and Xander in the show. She has Slayer strength, speed, sight, healing, hearing and mad monster killing skills...they don't. But they still fight alongside her. Truly amazing...and a lot of courage there. Love the recognition.
I couldn’t have done it without you and Xander,” Buffy said simply. “So don’t you dare tell me that you and Xander did nothing. When things got too rough, you two, and Giles and Mom and Dawn … you’re the reasons why I kept going. You’re why I kept fighting.- I always knew they were Buffy's anchors. When things got to rough...all she had to do was look at her friends and remember...this is why she fights. (Remember The Prom...she fought hellhounds so they could have a normal night..loved that ep)
"Of course people are nice to you," Anya said. "It's almost impossible to >not< be nice to you. Even Spike is nice to you.-Truer words were never spoken.
“So we get to sacrifice someone else to save the world?” Dawn asked bitterly. “How is that fair? How is it fair that we keep losing people, and the rest of the world gets to go about their merry way?”
Why can’t the rest of the world save itself sometime, huh?” she ranted, stomping around the room. “Why can’t the rest of the world just figure out how to save itself?”- I have to agree with Dawnie here...it sucks pond water to sacrafice when you get recognition for it...but the general population is clueless...must suck. (Also why I loved The Prom ep...Buffy made Class Protector.)
A conveniently located McDonald's provided the junk food-Sorry...I work at a McDonalds...and...I have a theory. All McDonalds' are built on Hellmouth's. Just how many times can one deal with a customer coming in...looking at the huge 3'x12' PICTURES of Extra Value Meals and look at you with a straight face and ask if WE HAVE EXTRA VALUE MEALS HERE?!?! And We're dumb?
“Actually, he didn’t send them,” Buffy said, looking up from her book. “Apparently, he’s on a team of Council ‘rejects’ … they get all the crap jobs. They consider Giles to be ‘unconventional’ and he’s their hero,” she went on wryly- I don't think this is a spoiler..but isn't there a show being hashed out by ME and Tony Head called "Ripper" that may do just this? Hmmmmm...
“Being chased down by Silent Grinning Demonic Surgeons was the best thing that ever happened to me"-Now that's just funny...hehehe
“After the first five minutes, I find myself wondering how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Willow pop- Now that's just...well...DAMN SEXY
Well...I think the story ROCKS so far...I'm loving it all.
Keep up the great work.
Willowfan
[This message has been edited by Willowfan (edited March 16, 2002).]
by Owl » Fri Mar 15, 2002 11:27 pm
Okay... Pixie... That was so unbelievably hilarious. laughed my effing arse right off. See for yourself! *moons Pixie* (that sounded very cat power-y. free mooning to anyone who gets that.) You should write fiction yourself! I am going to bug you to do so now. Probably often and in public. At least give us more updates! pleeeaaase!
WiccansIllusion: Yay Dar! Unfortunately, do not have a copy of the cd to listen to. I will have to go bug my darloving friends now...
*Disembodied voice of Jomarch suggests that Owl write an update*
Jomarch... heh. aren't you supposed to be, y'know, golfing? swing, crack, fore!, smack, thud, y'know?
"IF YOU WRITE IT, THEY WILL COME."
*gulp* They will...what now?... No, you misunderstand... I don't write smut, I just live it.
"SURE YA DO, OWL."
no, really... I.. Just the other day, in the library...
"OWL!" (the voice is impatient, omniscient)
fine. fine, it's true. just don't tell the other Smittens. I have a reputation, here. for naughtiness, you see. Look, I've got "naughty" tattooed on my arse.
"OWL, THEY'VE ALL SEEN YOUR PANTIES. AND YOUR ARSE FELL OFF. THEY KNOW. JUST WRITE A FAKE UPDATE, DAMNIT"
*under breath* pay no attention to the man behind the curtain....
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
oooh, nothing... *looks innocent*
look, i don't have an update. just spoilers:
+ everybody is naked and gay and... cheering. Xander picks up a newspaper during his cheer duet with Anya. The headline reads: MAYHEM CAUSED. PANTYLESS CHEERLEADERS MOST CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, AUTHORITIES SAY.
+ Sheila shares embarassing stories with Tara about Willow. She reveals that the source of Willow's fear of small, individually wrapped jelly candies, and of her strange fear of klezmer music was her bat mitzvah.
Damn. I think I'm losing it. hearing voices.... telling spoilers that smack of sleepiness....zzzzzz
by Pixie » Fri Mar 15, 2002 11:58 pm
Willowfan, welcome to the Smitten Squad!! Feel free to remove your panties, or you can keep them on until you feel more comfortable.
Owl, thanks for the boxers, and I'm so sorry about your arse. Here let me help you get it back on. *Pixie reattachs Owl's arse, hoping she doesn't notice the surreptitious squeeze.*
And, YOU laughed your effing arse off? Thank God my landlords went away, or I would have had to give them extra rent money to make up for waking them up with my rotflmfao as I read your post.
As for updates, I kept thinking, "no way!" but then I got an idea of how to get in something that I left out before. So, who knows. But I am NOT a writer! You hear that, smittens. No, not me.
Owl, thanks for the e-mail. I'll get back to you tomorrow when I'm more coherent.
by jomarch » Sat Mar 16, 2002 2:19 am
PS . Owl, I think you jinxed me, I had a terrible game of golf today but I guess I deserved it for being one of the disembodied voices in your head …. Anyway, scene is set the morning after the Shabbat dinner.
Tara loved waking up in the mornings just before sunrise. It felt like she’d been given a gift, another new day in which she could learn and experience new things. After reading her mom’s diaries, she had just begun to recollect little nuggets of memories, of laying her head in her mother’s lap as they sat on the front porch and waiting for the sunrise. Of her first years in Sunnydale, before Willow or the scoobies became her life, she would instinctively know that walking just before dawn was safer that at night and that it would still leave her secure in her solitude and thoughts. Waking up this morning was no different, she had to delicately extract herself from her Willowich without waking Willow up. Despite the king-sized bed, Tara often found that inevitably, she would end up being cocooned by Willow. She felt safe and loved and would always be content to lay like that. But pancakes needed to be made and the sun needed to be greeted. So she quietly extricated herself and made her way downstairs to start her daily ritual. Her dinner with Willow’s parents went surprisingly well and funny shaped blueberry pancakes were definitely called for, as a mini celebration.
Willow’s mornings were somewhat different. Where Tara viewed waking up as quiet time with snuggles or for watching the sunrise, Willow viewed them as affirmations of having a place in the world, of needing Tara in her arms and of telling her how much she meant to the hacker. She needed that verbal connection, so she would normally tell Tara of her plans for the day or about the dreams she had during the night. This morning, was no different. Willow slowly made her way downstairs and to the back porch where she knew she would find her love ready and waiting to hear about her new dream.
Willow slowly lowered herself onto the step above where Tara sat and whispered in her ear “Hi, baby, I’m not too late right, its still kinda dark out so I guess the sun hasn’t risen yet or it could have risen already but then there could have been an eclipse and so it would look like it hasn’t risen eventhough it had and I wasn’t here to see it with you”.
“No, sweetie, its still about 10mins away, I just wanted to come out early” Tara answered easily and turned so that she could capture Willow’s lips with her own and savour their first morning kiss.
After being thoroughly kissed, Willow wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist and exhaled cheerfully “Whatever I did to deserve that, you should tell me so I could do it again and often” Tara just smiled and leaned back into her lover’s arms.
“So, I guess I should tell you about the dream I had” Willow continued, she felt Tara tense in her arms and quickly blurted out “It wasn’t a bad dream about the Trickster or Scales or anything, it was actually sorta a naughty one about the cheerleaders yesterday” she finished softly and could feel her cheeks slowly resembling her hair colour. Tara once again turned but this time her eyebrows were raised and all she could say was “Ch..cheerleaders?”
“Well, yeah it was really weird, I was walking along to my parents house”
“Where was I? ” Tara queried, her brow crinkling.
“Well, you were with the cheerleaders”.
“Ok, Willow, I think you better start from the beginning”.
Willow took a deep breath and began “See, I’m on my way to pick you up in the park so that we could go to my parents for Shabbat dinner and instead of finding you under our favourite picnic tree, you’re dressed in a cute cheerleading outfit, I mean it’s the whole shebang of, you know, tight white sweater and pleated skirt, pom poms and you’re practicing with the group we saw yesterday”
“Are you sure it was the same group, the ones without the pa..panties” Tara asked, her mind slowly processing the information and acknowledging that, she in fact never possessed a cheerleading outfit, although if the outcome of this dream made Willow blush so, she would probably be getting one in the near future, heck probably later today . She could still hear Willow continuing her story …“Well, yeah, and no panties for all. I remember that there were a few red-heads in the bunch. Really, really, really, true red-heads.” She nodded to herself. “There was this adorable pixie-looking one. I guess she’s the funny one cause she kept making you guys laugh. And then there was this clumsy one. She would do a couple of really good splits and backflips but then fall down. She was kinda cute too but she did kinda leer at you a lot and believe me, I was not a happy camper”
“Oh, honey, I bet I never noticed as I was only looking at you”
Willow looked amazed as she absorbed the trueness of Tara’s words “You were , you were doing a split on the ground and looking directly at me, only at me. And there was this Asian cheerleader as well, who kept passing out papers with the new cheers on them and practicing some high kicks of her own but she wasn’t a red head though. I guess the only other one I remember was this other girl with headphones on. She was singing ‘What do you love more than love’. That Dar Williams song you like, it was really nice”. Willow fell silent as she was lost in a memory.
“Then what happened ?” Tara prompted.
A small shy smile formed on Willow’s lips as she related the next part, “You got up, did two forward summersaults, one handspring and landed right in front of me. You took my hand, led me to a nearby tree where there were all these harnesses spread in a heart shape and you lowered me to the ground and..”
“What were the other cheerleaders doing?”
“Huh?” Willow was quickly brought out of her reverie by Tara’s question..
“Oh, well, they were sorta behind the tree whispering about someone called Sassette and how she would be writing this better and how difficult it is to get grass stains out of white sweaters but that was a moot point on account of the levitation, and ohhh that they should really be quiet now as this was what they wanted so they should not say anything but notes and picture taking was fine but without the flash.”
“Did we umm..?” Tara indicated gently with her hands.
“Uh uh” Willow nodded vigorously “And it was really great but we couldn’t do it again as we were going to be late for dinner so we made our way to my parents and had a kind of musical experience there. Like that time the singing demon came and you sang about the cous cous but on the good news front, no one burnt up this time. Well except for the matzo balls but my mom was never the best cook”.
“Well, that was some dream” Tara sighed contentedly.
“I think it was more like a premonition” Willow volunteered “ I mean dreams like that should come true don’cha think and Buffy still has her Sunnydale high cheerleading outfit in her closet, I’m just saying for no obvious reason”
“Vixen”
“Does than mean ?”
“Yes, definitely”
“Do you think we would wake her up if we sneak in and grab it out of her closet”
“Uh, Willow, about the summersaults, I’m not that bendy”
“Don’t worry, I hear its all about practice”
“Let’s enjoy the sunrise and then we can go up and you know, practice”
The End
[This message has been edited by jomarch (edited March 16, 2002).]
by WiccansIllusion » Sat Mar 16, 2002 2:40 am
Jomarch, awesome fake update. I think Sass is in for a real shocker at what I started when she gets back *giggles*
now I'm off to drunken sleep, and dream of cheerleaders, Willow and Tara.
by Owl » Sat Mar 16, 2002 3:55 am
by Pixie » Sat Mar 16, 2002 10:42 am
I keep worrying that Sassette will get back and say, "Okay, who was playing with my toys?!" But, Sass, we'll put them back. Okay, their hair might be a little mussed after we hurriedly take off their cheerleader uniforms, but really, they'll be ready for you.
Still smitten!
by willow_thebadasswitch » Sat Mar 16, 2002 2:26 pm
*takes off panties like the rest of the squad*
Btw, Jomarch, where in Asia are you??
by jomarch » Sat Mar 16, 2002 4:48 pm
Pixie - Thank you, but like the fake update says, you really are the funny one. Write more!
willow_thebadasswitch - Welcome to the squad . Everyone is really nice but we really need to practice co-ordinating the flashing of other threads.And to answer your question, I am in Singapore.
Sassette - Apologies for playing with your toys but WiccanIllusion said we could . Ok, she didn't say that exactly but we really did not harm anyone in the writing of the fake updates and I bet Willow even sang during WI's update. So all good and please come back with your real updates!
[This message has been edited by jomarch (edited March 16, 2002).]
by Scout » Sat Mar 16, 2002 6:09 pm
Hope you’re having fun, Sass. Hurry back!
by Owl » Sat Mar 16, 2002 6:23 pm
The sun was coming up now. It stretched its sleepy red arms across the sky and yawned. Its arms weren’t really red, no. That was a sort of misunderstanding. The truth is that the sun wears those funny full-body red pajamas to bed. The kind with the padded booties attached… It groaned grouchily, and looked around groggily for its glasses.
Tara leaned back against Willow’s shoulder and murmured, “I really don’t think Buffy’s uniform will fit me…”
Lost in the sweet scent of Tara’s hair, Willow had forgotten all about the cheerleaders in her dream, and in fact, all about pretty much anything at all. The hacker would have been hard pressed to answer what a computer was, at that moment. “What, sweetie?” She asked, befuddled.
“Well, Buffy’s all tiny and stuff, and I’m tiny too, but not that tiny, and I kinda think she’d really freak out if she ever found out…” Tara was becoming suspicious that her lover’s speech patterns were rubbing off on her. She did not, however, have time for such things at the moment. She had more important things to take care of. She spun around in Willow’s arms and pulled her into a deep kiss that spoke of not-at-all-innocent intentions.
She pulled back, and looked into the eyes of the bewildered redhead. She purred, “I have something I need to go do right now, but if you stay right here, and behave, there’s plenty more where that came from.” Before Willow could say anything at all, Tara was off and running towards the park.
-------------------------------------
When Tara reached the park, she saw what she was looking for almost immediately. The group of helmeted cheerleaders were practicing Tai Chi on the grass not far from the bridge.
“Helmets?” Tara wondered aloud. She would understand soon enough.
As she approached, the cheerleaders broke their formation and set themselves up as a cheerleading tower. Tara walked up to them and spoke:
“Um, Hello?”
The cheerleaders, who had been very, very focused until that moment turned their attentions to Tara, and tumbled down in a heap of panty-free polyester-clad bodies. They all stood up and dusted themselves off, though several of them swooned fell down again, amazed that the beautiful witch had spoken to them.
*Thud* *Thud* *Thud*
One of the more collected ones stepped forward and bowed her head. “We have been waiting for you,” she managed, albeit squeakily. She gestured towards a box that was sitting on the grass. Tara walked over and picked it up. The box contained a cheerleading uniform in extraflamey red and several strange accessories. There was a robe, a mug with a carabeener as a handle, and a helmet with several stickers on it. Tara blushed at what the stickers said. She blushed even harder when she noticed the harness at the bottom of the box.
“Thanks,” Tara said, and eyed the beaming throng suspiciously.
“Do you need anything else? Cookies, perhaps?” One of the ones in the back asked hopefully.
“No, I think this is it. I’ll j-just be g-going now…” She waved at them.
“Wait! You have to throw your panties in!” One of them cried, matter-of-factly.
Noticing the large pile of panties at her feet now, Tara rolled her eyes, set down her box, and pulled her panties off. She zinged them at the strange squad, grabbed the box, and ran off as quickly as her legs would carry her.
Behind her, she heard the sounds of cheers and rejoicing. Suddenly, there was a loud *ssssssssssllllluuuuppp!* like someone had slid on the dewy grass, followed by a loud yelp of pain. An errant pom pom whizzed passed Tara’s head. She ran even faster.
---------------------------------------
Buffy was on her feet before she was awake. Her eyes shot open, and she grinned broadly. Pancakes! She smelled pancakes! She moved out the door and down the stairs with alarming speed, even for a Slayer. When she got to the kitchen, she skidded to a halt, and her mouth fell wide open in shock.
Tara was at the stove, dressed as a cheerleader, doing her best to make pancake flipping look athletic. Willow sat at the table, with a large foam finger on her hand. Emblazoned across its surface was the number one. In her other hand, she was waving a pennant flag that read, “SMITTEN.” The look upon her face was one of inordinate happiness.
Buffy spun around, and headed for the front door. “I’m going out…. Jogging!” she yelled towards the kitchen.
Tara peered past the doorframe and cocked an eyebrow at her. “You’re going jogging…. In your pajamas?” she queried.
“Yup,” Buffy stated firmly, opened the door, turned, and smacked into a very astonished Giles. He had his hand poised in the air, ready to knock, until….
*Thud*
Giles scrambled to his feet, and looked up. “Oh, Dear,” he blinked, spotting Tara and Willow approaching from the kitchen. He snapped his glasses from his face, and didn't even bother to clean them. Instead, He hastily pulled Buffy outside and into his car, and sped away with her.
“....Giles? What the hell is this all about?” Buffy asked, her voice laden with fear and panic.
"We must go do some serious research. I'm afraid this could be quite serious. The women of sunnydale are in terrible danger of becoming infected... with this..... See, I was attacked on my way here by a group of cheerleaders dressed much like Tara,” He declared, pulling a stray black thong from behind his ear and eyeing it with contrition.
"Oh Dear." Said Buffy, quite seriously, receiving a scathing look from her watcher.
Now back to our girls. Our giggling, happy heroines:
Tara turned to Willow, and tugged her into the house. She looked into her lover’s eyes and smiled wickedly, “If I’d known that was all I needed to do to get some alone time with you, I’d have gotten a cheerleading uniform much, much sooner….”
…. And the rest was probably quite smutty…..
P.S. No pancakes were burned in the writing of this update...
Ok: Who's next, then?
[This message has been edited by Owl (edited March 16, 2002).]
by jomarch » Sat Mar 16, 2002 6:39 pm
(BTW, JEJ was the voice of Darth Vader).Ok, am now laughing so hard that I have to stop or I am going to choke.
To reiterate what Owl said, who's next?
by WiccansIllusion » Sat Mar 16, 2002 6:56 pm
did I just say dear god? I think Giles has rubbed off on me..help!
Hmm..being thrashed by the one and only Sassette..that might have its perks!
by canadian kitty » Sat Mar 16, 2002 7:39 pm
quote:
Originally posted by Pixie:
But I am NOT a writer! You hear that, smittens. No, not me.
Oh please! Pixie it is time to stop whoring yourself around the Pens board and join the ranks of the pimps.
Just think of the panty collection you'd have.
quote:by Pixie » Sat Mar 16, 2002 10:21 pm
Um, Canadian Kitty, I'm not a whore!!! *she said, trying to convince herself* Y'see, I really don't like to write, in fact I left college because I hate writing papers, and I had an idea, but that was for W/T walking back from Shabbat dinner, and we're past that in the fake update timeline, and... *considers the piles of panties* mmm...panties.
Okay! CK, since you have thrown down the panty, er, gauntlet, I'll give it another shot. Just realize, I'm making this up as I go along. (Okay, not a writer, check. Disclaimer for impulsivity, check. Disclaimer for insecurity, check.)
---------------------------------
Giles and Buffy drove silently towards the magic shop, ignoring both the speed limit and each other, determined to erase the troubling mental picture of Tara in a cheerleading outfit and harness. Finally, Buffy broke the ice. "So...cheerleaders?" >Keep the conversation on the research,< she thought. >Big bad! Research!<
"Hm, yes," Giles replied. "They don't seem to be violent...just cheery. And they were all wearing the same outfits. Cheerleading clothes, and helmets...and leather straps of some kind."
"Did they look human? I mean, we've had biker demons, and singing demons, why not yelling, rhyming demons?" Buffy got a tight, sinking feeling in her stomach. "They weren't bitchy and snide, like Cordelia, were they?"
Giles gave her the LOOK. The look that said, Buffy, you really are an intelligent girl, now just focus! "No, they weren't bi...uh, snide. They seemed very happy. And some of them were quite...flexible."
Buffy gave him the LOOK in return. The look that said, ewww, that was too much information.
Fortunately for Giles and his dignity, they pulled up to the Magic Box. They headed for the books in the back, only to be startled by the door slamming open behind them.
Anya dragged Xander into the shop. Buffy took one look at the dazed, dreamy look on his face and started to giggle.
"What is so funny?" Anya demanded. "This is not funny! We saw these strange cheerleaders. I was friends with cheerleaders in high school and I don't remember them wearing helmets or harnesses. And I thought most of them wanted football and basketball players. But they were chasing me, not Xander! And they weren't wearing any panties."
"Giles!" Buffy spun around to fix him with a shocked look. "You didn't tell me they were panty-free!"
Giles turned to the books with desperate concentration in an attempt to hide his blush, and managed to mumble something unintelligible.
Buffy turned back to Anya and Xander, and immediately wished she hadn't. Anya was eyeing her fiance thoughtfully. "Xander, are you thinking about those cheerleaders right now?"
"Wha? What, now? No, of course no..." Xander was cut off as Anya grabbed his arm again. "We're going to go have orgasms now. We'll come back later to help with the research."
Buffy slumped into a chair and dropped her forehead onto the table. >oh, kill me now.< After a moment she sighed, and looked up to find Giles. "Where do we start?"
------------------------------
So, there it is. I'm afraid to go back and re-read it. Can someone please tell me how to do italics and stuff?
Still smitten.
Edited to add: God forbid I should read the FAQ and figure out how to do UBB code myself. Duh!
[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited March 17, 2002).]
by jomarch » Sat Mar 16, 2002 10:54 pm
Edited to add the following
Ok, in tribute to Sassette who brought us together, here is the continuation of the FAKE UPDATE (starting from where Pixie left off). This is kinda fun but I do so miss the real update . Oh Sassette, please come back!
We are in the magic box and Buffy is watching ‘Bring it On’ and ‘But I’m a cheerleader’ as research (remember, this is the girl who rented Hunchback of Notre Dame). So this scene is set after prodigious video watching.
“Buffy, I am still at a loss as to why you are watching those infernal videos, I mean you yourself were a cheerleader, albeit for a very short time in Sunnydale, and therefore would be able to draw from your experience in the matter” Giles admonished.
“But Giles, we need all the help we can get and besides, one of the cheerleaders in Bring it on looked really familiar and But I’m a cheerleader is definitely relevant on account of the blonde cheerleading gayness, you know like Tara this morning and its not like your books can help in this area” Buffy finished boldly.
“Well, as a matter of fact, I do believe that I have found something about the pant.. er, underdressed cheerleaders. I wasn’t sure I could find anything but in the end, it was in the Enchiridion of Sassette”
“The Enchilada ??of what's that?” Buffy echoed.
“Close enough, this codex is the collected writings of a wise elder of the council called the great and mighty Sassette. She was quite brilliant and..”
“Giles” Buffy sighed exasperatedly “But how do the cheerleaders fit in”
“Well, I am coming to that, if you actually let me, you see, Sassette was also a great vocaliser of her time, she had the power to bring many warring factions together with the power of her voice and body language and writings”
“Say, it, Giles” Buffy demanded impatiently “Just, say it”
“I do believe I have no idea what you’re…, oh ok, she was the ultimate cheerleader, a God of cheerleading if you must. With her writings, she was able to bring together people from around the world to worship at her feet”
At this point, Anya and Xander had returned from their orgasmic fun and was privy to information being shared.
“So, G-man, what you’re saying is that these incredibly cheerful and pantyless women- not that I noticed so much- er ..are part of some cheerleading cult”
“Well, they go by the name smittens and are not so much a cult but an order, like a cross between the knights of Byzantium and Glory’s minions.”
“Oh, my God!!!” Anya exclaimed loudly “Smittens, I was being chased by smittens, why didn’t you tell me”
“I believe I just did” Giles drolly replied.
“I mean, thank god they did not catch up to us. Did you know that they are known for their stamina and feats of acrobatics” Anya explained only to be distracted by her once again catatonic fiancé “ Xander, are you drooling again and picturing inappropriately dressed females that are not me?”
“Wha, what me, No, no drool, I was thinking about work and er, and er Tito’s new plumbing job. Ok that did not sound right either, can we just finish with the exposition here”
“Well, there really isn’t much more to say. The Enchiridion of Sassette talks of a beacon of hope, a story of true love filled with angst, adventure but with a happy ending. I believe that these smittens are here on the hellmouth to witness that event”
“They’re here to watch Tara be Willow’s orgasmic friend, aren’t they Giles” Anya cut in, happy to be able to get to the conclusion quickly so that there would be time for her and Xander to…., her train of thought rudely cut off by the arrival of Dawn.
“Guys, you’re never going to believe what I just saw”
“A bunch of pantyless cheerleaders” replied all the occupants of the Magic Box.
“I threw my panties at them” Dawn said huffily.
“Oh, my God, did they cheer?”
[This message has been edited by jomarch (edited March 17, 2002).]
by Owl » Sun Mar 17, 2002 8:50 am
*notices Pixie's fallen arse, and reattaches it firmly, with some not-terribly-surreptitious squeezing* hey, i have to protect my naughty reputation!
Pixie, Pixie, Pixie! You are just too funny. Think about it some more... many many piles of panties....
And Jomarch! Sassette as a god of cheerleading! I hesitate to tell you that I had this image of a giant cheerleading Shiva from that, because that's just completely wrong, and probably offensive. But it's not actually Shiva, just the talented Sassette cheerleading with four arms... Oh, and I love Darth Vader.... Well, actually, I don't... but Star Wars definitely...
I am beginning to wonder if Xander actually wants to BE a cheerleader...
This is getting scary... Restless Smittens are definitely dangerous.
*Raises a huge glass of green beer to Sassette* To the return of Sass!
by Pixie » Sun Mar 17, 2002 5:50 pm
And woo hoo! Anya's heard of us!
Owl, thanks for fixing my arse. And, sweetie, your naughty reputation is completely intact. Sassette cheerleading with 4 arms? Hmm, I wonder if she could use a uniform.
I actually took the plunge and attempted to explain the mitten/smitten/accessories/cheerleading silliness to co-workers at Barnes & Noble yesterday. And then at Sunday School this morning I forgot to put out some flyers/resources that my boss/friend had xeroxed for me for my first class. She took some of my donut as payment for my being moron, and then (yes, we have finally reached the point of this story!) I had the strange urge to offer her a cookie, or do a high kick or cheer. So I had to explain this all to her also. Fortunately all these co-workers found the whole thing amusing and did not respond with the dreaded pitying look and "WTF?"
by katydid » Sun Mar 17, 2002 6:32 pm
------------------
"She practically has 'genuine molded plastic' stamped on her ass.
by Pixie » Mon Mar 18, 2002 12:45 pm
Note #1: This is competely separate from however Sassette cares to approach the dinner scene!! This humble smitten's words are as nothing, and should be completely disregarded when Sass comes back. Please, Sass, no thrashing.
Note #2: "gishmock" is a Yiddish word that means "tasty", or "delicious", or "sweet".
-----------------------------
"Good night, Mom!" Willow called into the kitchen. "Thanks for dinner. Shabbat shalom."
Sheila moved to stand in the doorway to the living room, but didn't come any closer. "Good night, dear. It was nice to meet you, Teri."
Tara placed her hand on Willow's back to avoid the inevitable explosion, and smiled back at Sheila. "It was nice to meet you too, Mrs. Rosenberg. Dinner was lovely."
Ira pulled Willow into a hug, then kissed her forehead. Willow mock-pouted up at him and reminded, "You have to say it!" Ira dutifully played his part and replied "Isn't this gishmock!" They shared a sweet smile at the father-daughter tradition.
Ira turned to Tara and, to everyone's surprise, hugged her as well. "I know you're taking good care of her."
Tara just smiled, not knowing what to say. She took Willow's hand as they stepped out the door.
They walked quietly down the sidewalk, each of them lost in her own thoughts, processing the evening. Tara knew Spike was nearby, keeping a discreet distance but determined to protect them. She thought back over their dinner, and blushed a bit over her attempts to follow the Hebrew. Hearing the blessings before the meal had been interesting, with Willow automatically joining in and then whispering the translation into her ear. The lighting of the Shabbat candles had been particularly beautiful, as Willow and her mother covered their eyes while they recited the blessing.
Willow's thoughts jumped back and forth between gratitude for her father's easy acceptance of Tara, and disappointment in her mother's reaction. Her mom had obviously liked Tara, but still maintained her distance.
Both girls were jarred out of their reverie when they passed the park and again heard the faint yelling of the cheerleaders. "I can't believe they're still at it," Willow commented.
In a lightning change of mood, Tara put her arm around her lover's waist, slipping her hand into the back pocket of Willow's pants. "Willow, those cheerleaders got me thinking," she said softly, her breath tickling Willow's ear.
"Uh, about what, honey?" Willow played along, although her heartbeat had suddenly sped up.
"Remember when I left the table to use the bathroom?"
"Yeah." The familiar crooked smile on her lover's beautiful lips made Willow's knees go week.
Tara wordlessly reached into her own pants pocket, and drew out her panties, holding them in front of Willow's face.
Twenty feet behind them, Spike chuckled as they ran the rest of the way home.
--------------------------------
Still smitten!
by wiccachica » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:02 pm
Oh...the audacity of! The sneakiness... the fun...the...panties....
the...panties....
....oh bloody hell!
*picks up bucket of popcorn and settles in...*
well as I always say....If you can't beat them...encourage them and sit back and watch....
kisses....
n
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"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
by canadian kitty » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:14 pm
quote:
Originally posted by wiccachica:
If you can't beat them...encourage them and sit back and watch....
well said. scooch over wiccachica. *shimmies into the cozy chair next to WC* here, have a soda.
Ok Pixie the "non-writer" carry on, carry on.
quote:by Sela » Mon Mar 18, 2002 2:12 pm
BUT,
I do miss you, Sass!!!
--Sela
by Owl » Mon Mar 18, 2002 4:49 pm
quote:
Both girls were jarred out of their reverie when they passed the park and again heard the faint yelling of the cheerleaders. "I can't believe they're still at it," Willow commented.
Looks like We'll be at it for another two or three days, Smittens! I see that many Smittens are present and accounted for, and some are watching the cheerleaders with 3-D glasses and popcorn... No, you can't beat us! So, Join Us! (spoken in hypnotic Disembodied Voice of Jomarch... sorry. i just borrowed it for a second!) Two days, guys! such a long time with no Sassette! (do those 3-d glasses do anything... special? if so, i want some!)
Wiccachica you ever go out of town for that many days again, and the woncubines are gonna... well, let's just say it won't be pretty.
Pixie! If drinking green Manischewitz gets you writing, I'm going to send you a whole case of it! (talk about geshmak! Oy gewald!) No wonder Willow had naughty dreams!
More! I want mooore bwahahahaha!
quote:by wiltar » Mon Mar 18, 2002 4:53 pm
I swear, I'm gonna have to read the story all over again to remind myself of what Sassette's parts were!
ps, that's a compliment to all you creative minds!!!
Patricia
------------------
"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"
by jomarch » Mon Mar 18, 2002 5:18 pm
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