FIC: Answering Darkness

[jomarch]

quote:

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Originally posted by canadian kitty:
Wait. Are you saying we were wrong? Sassette isn't a cheerleading goddess but a dancing queen? Damn.

*rips of cheerleading uniform and runs in the general direction of the Kitten Accessories Emporium home office.*
Wardrobe! In need of a wardrobe change here!

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Oh, CK, there really is no need, see I actually edited Giles exposition to Buffy on account of timeliness but here i give you his full explanation of The Cheerleading Goddess.....

"Say, it, Giles" Buffy demanded impatiently "Just, say it".
"I do believe I have no idea what you're... oh alright, she was the ultimate cheerleader, a God of cheerleading if you must. With her writings, she was able to bring together people from around the world to worship at her feet. Her stamina and inherent acrobatic skills also made her a dancing queen, she could dance, she could jive, she had the time of her life. She was young and sweet, only.., well you get the point"
quote:

[Sassette]

Oh, my loyal pantieless cheerleading Smittens ... where to start? Just post the update and ignore the craziness? Tell you all about my time in NY (the edited for TV version, of course)? Respond to the fake spoilers, updates, and random acts of pudding? Or all of the above?

Well, I'm in an overachiever kind of mood (which doesn't happen often, let me tell you), so I'll go with all of the above.

First off, NY. I love that city. It's completely crazy, and it messes with your head like nothing else can. I found myself doing odd things that I wouldn't here ... like crossing the street without looking - because, hey - it's NY, and nobody looks before they cross the street. I also was swearing like a sailor for some strange reason ... normally, I avoid the naughty words, but ... *shrug* there are some things that only happen in NY that demand copious amounts of bad language.

As for details: saw my friends, drank a lot, went dancing, drank some more, came home.

Now, there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to respond to each little post here, but I'll try to cover all the basics, y'know?

**jomarch: 1) Clearly, you were the ringleader here, with your suggestion of strip cheers. That seems to have set everything off. Excellent job *G* 2) Your fake spoiler ... Willow's already done the commando thing, remember? 3) Loved the sunrise musings ... I definitely agree that it's an important time of day for Tara. And the, uhh... Tara in a cheerleader outfit thing? Yum! 4) Well, if W.I. said it was okay, then that's fine *G* Glad you've enjoyed playing. 5) “They’re here to watch Tara be Willow’s orgasmic friend, aren’t they Giles” Anya cut in, all the way to “Oh, my God, did they cheer?” had me ROLLING. 6) And you win the award for the well-thought-out and mathematically interesting answer to our question today. So, I'll clean all that pudding off of you. 7) And for the gratuitous ABBA quotage added to your update ... *flings pudding at jomarch*

**Owl: 1) Fake spoilers? Okay, you're brilliant. 2) Some of your spoilers are at least partially correct *G* 3) Y'know ... it's funny you should mention chaos theory. It appears in a truly strange way in the next update. 4) Liked your update - and if Tara flung her panties, I get to keep them. 5) Four arms? Heh ... that means I have ... four hands, right? *evil grinning* 6) Yes, Owl ... I can SEE you didn't behave yourselves. Naughty Smittens. Lighting the Grail Beacon while I was gone. Tsk Tsk. I suppose I'll have to spank you all.

**W.I.: 1) Even the vague comparison to Merwolf is one of the most flattering things I have ever heard ... and thank you for suggesting the fake updates, 'cuz I gotta' tell you, they had me ROLLING. 2) A filk. Based on my story. Based on a scene in my story that has not, in fact, been written yet. Heh ... damn, that was good *G* 3) Shocker? Ummm ... yeah, you could say that *G* 4) You want a thrashing? Ummm ... *cough* I'll, just, uhhh ... hmm... *grabs W.I., pulls her behind a conveniently placed doorway and >>CENSORED<<* 5) Oh, speechless in a good way, of course. I just needed to rest my weary brain.

**Pixie: 1) Willow suddenly felt her mouth go dry and a blush creep over her face. "Uh, Tara...they're not wearing any panties!" Y'know ... that was about the same as MY reaction to that. *G* Fun update - happy to see you jumping in. 2) Stop that "not a writer" nonsense ... you have now jumped into the fray, and there is no escape. No Escape!!!!! Like - imagine me finishing this story, then never writing again. 3) Ah-HA! I seem to see a promise to put my toys back when I returned ... but here you are, lounging in a tub of pudding instead. Hmph. 4) And another update contribution from Pixie *G* Schweeet ... and Smittens staring at Anya? LOL 5) Awwww ... the "gishmock" bit was sweet *G* Though, I have to admit, when I saw the explanation of the word at the start of the piece, I thought you were going to a much dirtier place with that. And, uhh... Tara presenting Willow with her panties? With Spike watching? ROFL ... Oh, now THAT is classic *G* 6) And you win the award for the dirtiest answer to the QUESTION ... so ... here ... *hands over a handful of Smitten panties* You can add to your collection. 7) You took my panties? YOU TOOK MY PANTIES??? Oh, okay.

**wiccachica: 1) And you are correct ... I am most pleased to have found y'all having such fun while I was gone *G* 2) Interesting philosophy. Pass the popcorn? 3) Uh-huh. Do I >look< like I just fell off the turnip truck?

**Willowfan: And it's always great to see new people pop up (not that there's anything wrong with my extremely enthusiastic and flexible Smittens - nosireee ... they're great ... I just like ... converts ) And those are a few of my favorite moments, too. Yes, McDonald's is clearly Evil, and come to think of it, I wasn't even thinking of 'Ripper' when I wrote that bit.

**Scout: Ooh! I hope you had fun on your vacation, too ... and I'll have the update up as soon as I'm done with this. But I only have the one update, because I was ... errr ... knitting. Yes. I was knitting up a storm in NY, and therefore had very little time to write.

**wiltar: 1) Yeah, me too. *sheepish look* Where did I leave off again? 2) Heart attack? Well, no ... I seem to still be alive ... however I was a little ... Urk.

**Mufin: Yeah, I'm bummed I didn't check this thread from NY, too *G* Well, not that I COULD have, but ... anyway. I suppose there is something ... special about getting all of this all at once. And next time I'm in NY, I'll have to arrange my travel plans so I can stay an extra day or so and visit with you and Yuri and the other housemates a bit.

**Yuri: 1) Thanks for getting that posted in such a timely manner *G* 2) Yes ... "Oh My Heck" and "Holy SCHNIKEYS!" really covers it *G* And, uhhh ... let's not get into the dancing thing, okay? *sheepish look* I can not be held responsible for the actions I take under the influence of Loud Dance Music.

**canadiankitty: 1) And you're right ... nothing like pantie-free cheerleaders to put me in a good mood *G* 2) You may start the erotic pudding dances at any time. Though, I think I'll stay out here... hard to get pudding out of a keyboard.

**LeatherQueen: And for the most embarrassing confessional answer to the QUESTION ... you get a Willow Pop. Just ... don't bite too hard, okay? As long as you don't leave any teeth marks, Tara probably won't notice.

**delany: Yes, I see what happens - clearly, next time I'm going to be away for awhile, I should just disappear quietly *G*

**Bobo's Mom: Good to be back, thanks *G* And NYC was great ... living there would drive me completely off my rocker, but it's WAY fun to visit *G*

**Shanie: Thanks for letting me crash at your place, again - you rock *G* But, uhh ... let's leave my Many Skills out of this *G*

Okay ... NOW I will laboriously wrest the update away from my cantankerous laptop and post it ... it should be just a few moments. I think. Though, I have to say ... after the pantie-free cheerleaders, pudding, and various and sundry other odd happenings, this will be ... anti-climactic, I think *G*

-Sass

[YuriPup]

quote:

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like crossing the street without looking - because, hey - it's NY

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Obviously she is an import from law abiding CA (at least when it comes to street crossing) I can tell you she has the J-walking thing for NY all wrong. We only look like we never look when crossing the street...we have great respect (or fear) for the NYC cabbies.

We never let Sasset the virgin J-walker cross the street without an experianced J-walker with her.

You forgot to blame Kamakazies (they are tasty now that I have tried one) and nearly naked pups! And fore-play Dice!quote:

[Sassette]

When last we left our heroes: Willow's still dying, Tara is thinking naughty things while Willow studies, Buffy is trying to avoid research because the poor girl is all researched out, Giles is excited about the actual real-world use of Cosmology ('cuz really, when he was taking those classes, he was like, "When am I ever going to use THIS in real life!?"), and Anya was proud of her Mad Research SKILLZZZZ.

There were, in fact, no pantieless cheerleaders, nor actual W/T nekkid time recently. Though the Willowpop thing actually happened.

And to everyone who is wondering the right answer to the how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Willowpop ... it's 42.

Yes, that's right. 42. Because we knew that 42 was the Answer to the Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything ... but not until now were we aware that the question was: "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Willowpop?"

That Tara is a Deep Thinker.

Now, while this update may seem a little ... tame ... compared to recent events ... it's very important. It sets up Very Important Things. Now I'm going to just hit "submit reply" and go catch up on all the fic I was reading, that I really shouldn't be reading, because I should be writing this. *waves*

Title: Answering Darkness Part 39b - Discoveries
Author: Sassette
Feedback: Can be sent to pink_overalls@yahoo.com
Summary: More research, 'cuz, y'know ... I could sit around and have the Scoobies read books for days on ends without getting bored. And Tara would like that. Quite a bit. *g*
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Tabula Rasa" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I'm just borrowing them because Season 6 angst is running high, and I want my happy ending now, dammit! So I'm writing it … but it'll be awhile until I get to that part, so bear with me (or "bare" with me if you're naughty).
Rating: PG-13
Notes: For the purpose of this story, all events of Tabula Rasa took place exactly as shown in the series; however, no subsequent episodes will affect this piece. We're splitting from canon here - this was MEANT to be a quick and easy reconciliation fic … but it just didn't turn out that way. Stupid Hell God … Stupid Plot … getting in the way of my snugglies, damnit. Freakin' Angst. Grrrr.

Answering Darkness Part 39b

Discoveries

By Sassette

"So this means I have to read this whole thing, huh?" Buffy asked dejectedly, looking over the ancient book.

"Yes," Giles said emphatically.

"Fine," she said with a huff, curling up to read the section Giles had said was the newest, even though it was at the front.

"I think … I think I have this all figured out," Willow said carefully, quickly scrolling through the document and going over the salient points again.

"Let's hear it," Anya said excitedly, still proud of her original discovery.

"Well, it's like … everything is in balance, right? But good and evil are made up of all these other dualities. Light and Dark. Order and Chaos. Love and Hate. None of those are good or evil in and of themselves," Willow explained.

"Hate isn't evil?" Tara asked incredulously, frowning at Willow.

"'Nothing is either good or evil, but thinking makes it so,'" Giles quoted softly. "Hate isn't evil, when it is truly righteous. Hating injustice. Intolerance. Evil itself. How can hating those things be evil?"

"Right," Willow said with a nod. "And evil loves pain and anger … that kind of thing," Willow illustrated. "So good and evil need to be in balance, each having an equal amount of those dualities within them."

"What happens if they're not?" Tara asked.

"That's what the paper isn't clear on," Willow admitted sheepishly. "The author theorizes that a lack of balance throws the cosmos into whatever extreme is doing the throwing." Willow frowned. "Did that make sense, or am I all non-sensey?"

"No, that made sense," Tara assured her. "It's just kinda' … didn't answer the question."

"Sorry," Willow said with a helpless shrug. "It's like … The Trickster is order, right? So if Hell is out of balance because Glory is gone, the order side of evil is stronger. Because it's stronger, it basically wins out against a balanced 'heaven'. Which means that your kind of a fascist martial-law type things gain power here on earth."

"Didn't we already figure that out?" Tara asked.

"Not exactly," Giles answered. "We had concluded that The Trickster coming to earth - passing through the Hellmouth - would have that effect. However, it appears as though that is the inevitable conclusion whether he makes it out of Hell or not."

"It speeds up his timeline," Anya said wisely. "And it gives him a stepping stone to take over the heavens, if he wants to. He could basically end up ruling the entire cosmos. And this would be very, very bad."

"So he wins at least a partial victory no matter what," Giles said slowly, his face paling. "Because Glory is … gone."

"But if that skank bitch were still here, we'd all be dead by now," Buffy said, looking up from her book. "And can I say this is just weird? Tara, does your family have a history of smoking bad monkey crack?"

"What?" Tara asked, looking over at Buffy with a confused look on her face.

"One of your ancestors was on some kind of bad acid trip here," Buffy explained.

"Still not getting anything here," Willow piped in, her own questioning look on her face.

"This beginning part is this whole huge kinda' diary like thing for stuff that never happened," Buffy said with a pout. "Like she had some weird dream thing, and wrote it all down."

"I … we kinda' … we see things, in our dreams," Tara said hesitantly. "All the women in my family. Well, all of them on my mom's side."

"What does it say?" Willow asked curiously.

"It talks about her life after her mom got burned at the stake and her dad died. It says she got sent away to an orphanage, then moved west and made a life in Oregon, raising her children to be good little Wiccans," Buffy explained.

"My family isn't from Oregon," Tara said with a frown. "None of us have ever lived there."

"Wait. Did you say 'burned at the stake'?" Anya asked slowly.

"Yeah. Then the last bit talks about how none of the rest of it ever happened, and that she hid away all the family secrets in a trunk, until the day the 'one who needed them' came and opened it up," Buffy said.

"Does it say how the dad died?" Anya pressed on.

"It's icky," Buffy hedged, wrinkling her nose.

"Buffy, just spit it out," Tara said, her eyes growing wide as she realized where Anya was going with this line of question.

"He got gutted," Buffy admitted. "There's a pretty detailed description in here."

"Eviscerated?" Anya asked, needing the clarification.

"Yeah, that's the word she used," Buffy said with a nod, and a sick look on her face. She certainly shouldn't have a problem with gory deaths, what with being the Slayer and all, but vampires just went 'poof' and all the other demons she killed she tended to do without blood. The description of the evisceration had really been … kinda' squicky.

"She saw. She saw what her life would have been with the wish," Tara said slowly.

"What wish?" Willow asked, taking her girlfriend's hand and giving it a little squeeze.

"Anya granted a wish to an ancestor of mine," Tara said. "She wished … I mean, she was being burned … at the stake," she related haltingly.

"She wished her husband couldn't hurt her daughter anymore, so I killed him," Anya said, cutting to the chase.

"Good," Willow said with a tight-lipped smile. "He … he did what … what your dad did, right?"

Tara nodded her confirmation, glancing down at the floor, her hair falling into her face.

"Hey, sweetie," Willow whispered, hugging her girl and putting her mouth by her ear. "None of that can hurt you anymore."

"But don't you see? It wouldn't have happened," Tara said.

"What?" Willow asked.

"If … I mean, she saw. She saw what would have happened, and she was happy. She lived her life without being the MaClay Demon. Her … her children would have been … happy. I - I w-would have been happy," Tara managed to get out.

"Except my talisman was destroyed," Anya said, glaring at Giles, even though this Giles had had nothing to do with it, and, in fact, Anya was pretty happy herself with the whole being human thing. It was a force of habit to be angry about losing her talisman more than anything else.

"Oh, honey," Willow said, her eyes full of sadness as she looked at her girlfriend.

"And Willow and Xander would be vampires, and Giles and I would probably be dead," Buffy said. "And Anya would still be a demon, Dawn would never have existed, and the world would have ended in a million horrible ways."

"I know," Tara said quickly. "And I wouldn't want that other world … even if … I mean, the way I grew up … it was … it's worth it. It's worth having you all here."

"No one would have ever thought you'd feel differently," Buffy said gently. "I'm just pointing it out, in case anyone forgot."

"Like anyone could forget Big Ol' Skank Vampy Me," Willow said bitterly, scowling. Tara stifled a chuckle at the expression on Willow's face. She looked like a three-year-old who had been told 'no' one too many times.

"You look so cute like that," Tara whispered in her ear, earning a giggle from Willow.

"Hey - no private spicy talk," Buffy complained good-naturedly, mock-glaring at the two women.

"Oh My God," Willow said suddenly, sitting straight up, her eyes going wide.

"I guess Tara's getting better at the spicy talk," Buffy said to no one in particular.

"No. Well, yes, but that's not what I'm … I mean," Willow stammered. "I … I figured something out. I mean … it kind of … came to me. It's … The Trickster can use me because I'm human. I have a soul. I'm all soul-y. I'm soul-girl. And that soul is the same one that stopped him last time. Vampire Skanky Leathery Cleavagey Slutbomb Me wasn't … I mean - no soul. No kids."

"The Trickster let the other Giles break Anya's talisman," Tara said in a wondering tone, realizing what Willow's ramble meant.

"He what?" Giles asked incredulously.

"Anya said that the other you didn't do anything special to break her thingy," Willow said.

"My talisman thingy, not my hymen thingy," Anya clarified with a nod.

"Ummm … yeah," Willow said slowly, looking at Anya funny before continuing. "So, the … the thing got broken, but you can't just get all smashy with it … you have to do spells, or use something special to do the smashy goodness, so it …. It shouldn't have worked. But it did work, because we're here now, and Anya isn't a demon. So, The Trickster must have done something."

"He couldn't have used a Vampire Willow for his plans. He needed human Willow. Or he needed Willow to have daughters, and for Willow's soul to be reborn back into her line," Tara finished up.

"They're finishing each other's explanations," Buffy said to the room at large again, a small smile crossing her face. "That's so cute."

"That's … extraordinary," Giles said slowly. "He must have put a great deal of planning into this whole thing. We've unwittingly fallen in line with his plan several times, and probably countless others that we'll never figure out," he mused, wondering for the first time if he had done the right thing killing Glory. He had not doubted his actions before, though he had sincerely regretted the necessity of killing Ben as well, secure in the knowledge that Glory had been a clear and immediate threat to everyone he loved, as well as the world at large. Still, had he opened the way for something worse? Or did The Trickster have countless contingency plans for every action they could possibly take?

"It's like … it's like he knows what we're going to do before we do it," Tara said with a frown.

"Temporal singularities," Willow said softly, a twinkle in her eye despite the seriousness of the situation.

"What?" Tara said carefully, guessing that a wildly technical explanation was soon to follow.

"Oh, it's … it's this really new theory. I looked up all kinds of alternative universe theories after that whole thing with Big Skank Me. And it's kind of … well, it's all weird and stuff, but it's interesting," Willow said earnestly.

"Like your cosmic thingamijiggy paper was interesting?" Buffy asked sweetly.

"I like this stuff," Willow defended, tossing a throw pillow at the Slayer and pouting when she neatly knocked it out of the air and to the floor.

"I know you do, Baby," Tara soothed, rubbing her thumb along Willow's knuckles.

"But what does it have to do with The Trickster?" Giles asked slowly, knowing deep in his gut he was going to regret the question.

"Well, it's this theory that's based on fractal mapping and chaos theory," Willow started to explain, earning groans and rolled eyes around the room. "No, no," Willow said quickly. "It's really really interesting."

"If you're a superbrain," Buffy said with a smirk.

"I want to hear about it," Tara encouraged, smiling lazily at Willow. She loved the way Willow got excited about new scientific discoveries - It was almost as good as watching her read.

"It's basically like … there's an infinite number of possible realities. Like, when I wake up tomorrow, I could go out for bagels, or everyone in Sunnydale could. But maybe we don't," Willow began to explain.

"Oh, well … that clears everything up," Giles said dryly. "A Sunnydale bagel shortage. That makes perfect sense."

"I'm not finished yet," Willow said with a pout.

"Do go on," Giles said with a little smile.

"So, where was I?" Willow asked, her brow furrowing.

"Bagels?" Tara offered up.

"Right. Bagel-y goodness. So, there are all these different possible realities made up of everyone's choices. But in some cases, once a series of choices are made, there's only one inevitable outcome, regardless of what choices are made afterwards," Willow went on.

"Example?" Giles asked.

"Well," Willow said slowly. "Assuming Buffy and Angel and Miss Calendar and I were all met while Buffy and I were still in high school, me casting the soul restoration spell could have been a singularity," Willow offered up.

"But lots of things could have prevented that," Buffy said with a frown. "I mean … Angel and I could have not ended up in bed together."

Willow leveled a look at Buffy, one of her eyebrows rising up.

"Okay, eventually," Buffy admitted with a sheepish look.

"Right. Now, >when< Angel lost his soul could have changed, but not the fact that he did, and that my reaction would be to try to cast that spell," Willow said. "Because there was no way I was going to not try."

"So you're saying that The Trickster isn't predicting events … he's arranging them?" Tara asked slowly.

"Exactly," Willow said, beaming at Tara, making Tara smile back automatically. "Well, according to this theory. It's certainly not set in stone."

"It does make a certain amount of sense," Giles said, his brow furrowing as he concentrated on the new concept. "Like, with you and Tara in a relationship, and Glory in Sunnydale, Tara being hurt by Glory and your subsequent dark magick use could have been a certainty."

"Oh, he's good," Anya said on a whisper. "He's really good."

"What?" Buffy asked, looking over at Anya.

"Destroying my talisman. I mean, not only did he get Willow un-vamped, but he got Tara to Sunnydale. Because what are the chances Tara would have ended up on a Hellmouth if her home life had been happy?" Anya wondered aloud. "Because a soulless Willow certainly wouldn't have called to her."

"What's up with that, anyway?" Buffy asked curiously. "This whole 'past life' thing?"

"I think … I think that, ummm … Willow and I were .. . kinda' … meant to find each other," Tara said with a blush.

"Yeah. You two should get 'temporal singularity' tattooed to your asses," Anya said seriously.

"Anya!" Willow protested. "There will be no tattoos. Big no on the tattooing."

"Right," Tara said with a nod. "Though, umm … I was thinking that, ummm…"

"No," Willow said immediately, raising both eyebrows at Tara. Tara's eyes widened, her lower lip moving into pout position, and Willow's face softened. "We can talk about it later," she said with a sigh, squeezing Tara's hand. Tara smiled happily. "But we'll just discuss it," Willow said quickly. "I'm not saying 'yes' now, okay?"

"Like you won't say yes later," Anya scoffed. "We all know Tara has you completely whipped."

"I am not whipped," Willow protested, her voice rising.

"Honey," Tara said softly, trying to stop a fight before it started and squeezing Willow's hand, giving her a pleading look.

"I am not whipped," Willow muttered, subsiding.

Anya raised her hand in the air, making a whipping motion and subsequent sound effect.

"Anya," Tara said in a warning tone. "Please stop teasing Willow."

"But it's fun," Anya protested. "Besides - I don't have orgasms with you."

"You better not even think about it," Willow cut in with a scowl.

"So why should I listen?" Anya finished, ignoring the interruption.

"Because I'm your friend?" Tara offered up.

"Oh, fine," Anya said, a childish scowl to match Willow's crossing her face. "Just play the 'friend' card. That's not fair! You know I don't have very many of them."

"As fascinating as it is to watch Tara actually keep you two in line, could we get back on topic?" Giles asked tentatively.

"What was the topic again?" Anya asked innocently. "Oh, right … we were talking about how whipped Willow is."

"I am not whipped!" Willow said again.

"Guys," Buffy broke in. "I swear I'm going to bust some serious slayer action on both of you if you don't cut it out right now."

"But this is how I interact with Willow," Anya protested earnestly. "I enjoy my interactions with Willow. I want to have as many interactions with Willow as I can before she dies."

"Willow is not going to die," Tara shot back, harsher than she had intended. She knew Anya meant well, and that in her own way she was being complimentary, but the idea that Willow's death was a foregone conclusion hurt.

"It's okay, baby," Willow said soothingly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Hello?" Anya said. "Temporal Singlurities? Megalomaniacal HellGod who's even smarter than Willow? Even if Willow lets him out, Willow's the only one who can defeat him. What are the chances he's going to let her live? And even if she faces him, what are the chances he doesn't have a plan for that?" Anya pressed on. "Not that I want it to happen," she said defensively, backing away from all the angry faces in the room.

A wave of protests rose up from Tara, Buffy and Giles as they all spoke over each other. Willow sat silently, a thoughtful look on her face as she seriously considered Anya's words.

[Scout]

"Hey - no private spicy talk"
"Oh My God"
"I guess Tara's getting better at the spicy talk"

hee hee…So great to see you back in the swing of things, Sass. Although after all the panty flinging and pudding swims, I had a bit of a hard time settling down into all the meaty details here. But now I’m back in the groove. Very interesting update…looking forward to seeing how the girls get out of this one. Love brainy Willow!

Welcome back!

[jomarch]

Yes, the Queen & Goddess is back. Thank you for this update. Brilliant, as usual.

[willow_thebadasswitch]

Oh yippeee!!! Welcome back Sass!

42?? *scratches head* Huh??

[Owl]

Oh my god!
My very being is full with the goodness of this update! You are indeed the champion!

Stop the presses! the question is no longer "what is 6 x 7?"! This changes everything. footnote for badass see Douglas Adams, the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy Pretty soon you'll be telling me that 2+2 doesn't equal 5.

quote:

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You two should get 'temporal singularity' tattooed to your asses," Anya said seriously.

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Holy crap! I want to have Willow explain chaos theory to me using bagels! (*considers* are bagels fractal?) and... and Systems theory! (my brain is spinning with the possibilities! have you seen Mindwalk? I'm picturing this bagel the size of the earth, and it's all filled with cherries... ) and for her to prove Fermat's theorem or whatever that was Jomarch said way back.... using bagels!
Bagel Theory! It's a good thing you're back or that could turn into a whole new fake update... I swear, i really do not think too much.

And non-whipped Willow is just impossible to resist. We all know the truth.
Excuse me, I have to go take a walk or something and get rid of all this excess energy. That was excellent. Glad to have you back, safe and sound, Sassette.

quote:

[YuriPup]

Well if you have a bagel the size of the earth you need a Twnikie the size of Manhattan...and a 50 tall marshmellow giant.

[Pixie]

She's baaaack!! I have to tell you, Sass, I was a little worried, what with you all speechless. I guess that mouth to mouth really did the trick.

In terms of the "gishmack" being dirty, I can see now how you would think that. When I wrote it, that did not in any way occur to me - my dad's been saying that ever since I can remember, and it's such a sweet, innocent thing.

*lowers her voice* Uh, sorry about the panties. I just wanted to see if I could, y'know? I'll give them back if you want... I know, I have panty issues! I need help!

Woo hoo!! A real update! This was excellent! I loved the tattoo idea and whipped Willow. And the whole chaos theory thing made sense - Willow's good with the explainin'. I'm sure you're surprised to hear that I can't wait for the next part.

Owl, mein ziskeit (now I know what that means!):
I asked a few people about the Yiddish at temple today, and I was able to get one of the lines translated. It is an expression; actually it's a tamer/more polite version of an expression.

"Gai feifen ahfen yam!" literally means "go whistle in/after the ocean/sea/lake". This is a polite version of "Gai kochen ahfen yam," which basically means "go shit in the lake".

I'm working on the other 2 lines. So, do I get, like, one third of an erotic pudding dance?

[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited March 19, 2002).]

[Bobo's Mom]

42!!! I haven't thought about those books for years!! Brings me back to the days of my sci-fi youth. Thanks, Sass, for the wonderful update. So pleased you had fun drinking in New York.

Speaking of drinking, I have a beer helmet to re-fill, and some pudding that needs to be licked off. I'll be in the corner waiting for the next update licking away. Pudding. I Love Pudding.

[Owl]

can't.... stay... away.... must.. post.
*ponders significance of gargantuan twinkie... has fond memories of ghostbusters**

Pixie, mein ziskeit: Yes, exactly. "go whistle on the ocean" The other two expressions (don't worry, you still get the dance) are:
Shlog zich mit Got arum!
Go fight City Hall! (or God). This makes sense because my comrade-in-yiddishness happens to be a biiig activist.
Gai bareh di vansten!
Go bother the bedbugs! which is just funny.

I have decided to go ahead with the erotic pudding dance because i had a particularly good day in which i failed my final in Russian Grammar... which sounds bad, BUT...
The one answer I know i got right gave me the opportunity to use the word "Wonky."
Yes, the right answer was "Wonky". Graduate level, you understand.
Something about the productive elements of language, which can be used to make new words which they do on Buffy all the time, and i love it. ... and then i ate a portabella and watched tabula rasa. yum. and then, there was Sass's fic. All in all, a great day.
(Pixie receives a private dance of her own choosing for answering the question correctly. )

edited because german has messed up my i before e rule.

[This message has been edited by Owl (edited March 19, 2002).]

[mollyig]

"They're finishing each other's explanations," Buffy said to the room at large again, a small smile crossing her face. "That's so cute."

Molly agrees!

------------------
"I could paint you in the dark cause I've studied you with hunger as a work of art"
Collecting You - Indigo Girls

[WiccansIllusion]

I got a thrashing I got- oh wait, I'm not supposed to have enjoyed that..

[Mufin]

*not very good a rhyming, starts chant*
Sass Sass Sass Sass Sass! Sass! Sass! Sass! Sass Sass Sass Sass Sass! Sass! Sass! Sass!

*gets dizzy, falls over*

-WI, that's not the impression I got. The rest of us are quite jealous!

[jomarch]

Psst,psst, WI, Owl, Pixie, I guess Sass is all seeing and all forgiving. We got a new chapter and I got cleaned off by Sass (wow, and thank you and look, I all puddin covered again!!!, oh Sass I'll clean myself off and not bug you if you give us another chapter soon)

WI, way to go on the 'thrashing', you lucky smitten, you .
Edited to add- *picks poor mufin up*. Its ok, practice and soon the stamina and feats of acrobatics will be yours (said in disembodied James Earl Jones voice)

[This message has been edited by jomarch (edited March 20, 2002).]

[Sassette]

**Yuri: I meant when the little sign said it was okay ... in CA, I look anyway ... the NY'ers just kinda' went, walking around the cab that was inevitably sitting in the middle of the crosswalk. And, y'know ... kamikazes are SO good. But I didn't play with the dice. I don't need that much instruction.

**Scout: Heh ... a Brainy Willow is a Sexy Willow. At least Tara thinks so. Then again, Tara thinks a Breathing Willow is a Sexy Willow - she's a little biased. Glad you're back in the groove. The next bit is going to be something of a recap as we see more of Brainy Willow.

**jomarch: Queen AND Goddess? I'm a busy little thing, aren't I? *G* Glad you liked it *G*

**Owl: I am the Champion ... of the WOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLLLLDDDDD!!! And yes - you may throw that "What is 6x7?" thing right out the window .... and can I just say that after identifying the Question, today's Daily Thread is very amusing? No, I haven't seen Mindwalk ... but yes, all bizarre scientific theories can be explained using bagels. And yes, they're fractal. Because each individual bagel is a different type of bagel in an alternate universe, like ... that plain bagel, somewhere out there, is really a blueberry bagel, and the point at which the bagels diverge is ... well, fractal. Yeah. Heh. As for Fermat's Theorem? I'm so not going there.

**Yuri (again): "That was your plan? Get Her???"

**Pixie: Mouth to mouth is always helpful AND appreciated. And sorry to have taken your sweet innocent "gishmack" thing to a scary place *sheepish look* It's just honestly what popped into my head when I read the definition. To show the great sincerity of my apology for doing dirty things to a cherished childhood/adulthood tradition, you may keep the panties.

**Bobo's Mom: Have fun with the pudding *G* And thank you - I had a great time.

**Owl (again): This posting thing is addictive, isn't it? Heh. Thanks for the erotic pudding dance, and congrats on using the word "wonky" in real life *G*

**mollyig: Well, it's important to me that it's made clear that, despite Willow being a total SuperBrain, Tara is completely capable of keeping up. She doesn't think in the same directions as Willow does, but when she sees what direction Willow is taking, she can arrive at the same place. 'Cuz she's, y'know, smart and stuff *G*

**W.I.: Heh ... gloat away. And it was supposed to be a fun thrashing *G*

**mufin: Now that's what I like to see! People chanting my name until they PASS OUT!!!

**jomarch (again): I am, in fact, all seeing and all forgiving. Unless someone hurts my Tara. That pisses me off *G* And geeze, guys ... if you're all that jealous ... thrashings for everyone. Line up!

-Sass

[Puff]

Great update Sass and it's nice to have you back. Not that I was entertained while you were gone mind you. And I'll stop here

------------------
Beep, beep

[wiccachica]

*Techno Dance Music plays in the distance*

(bum-cha-bum-cha-bum-cha-bum-cha...)

Go Sassy...it's yer berthday...go Sassy...go-go Sassy...

*blinks...stops dancing...*

Hey...wait a darn tootin' minute..... I SHOWED YOU MINE....

NOW YOU GET TO RETURN THE FAVOUR...

**waiting patiently to see more of Sass on this thread...**

------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy

" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz

" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)

[Sassette]

**Puff: Heh ... I'm glad that you, and everyone else, had fun on this thread while I was away ... I have to admit that I actually felt kind of guilty for taking off and abandoning you all mid-story. Then I got back and ... Heh. Damn, that stuff was FUNNY.

**wiccachica: Now, remember, I said "when I got home" ... which will be after work. Hopefully, I won't have to work late today. Though ... after four days off, what are the chances? However, I actually have another update mapped out in my head, so maybe I'll do two tonight ... just for you. As for seeing more of me on this thread ... *flashes wiccachica*

-Sass

[Bag O'Bones]

in honor of my removal from lurkdom i wanted to tell you my little story about this fic . . .

i first started to frequent the pens section of board when this fic was at part 30-ish and i got so into it that i read all 30-some-odd parts in one sitting. by the time i got to the end of it, some time in the middle of the night, i realized that my eyes were burning like crazy cuz i abused them with the computer screen all day. i then got another lovely realization, that there were *no* eyedrops in my house. so i was forced to blow off all my friends online and try to sleep.

yeah, wasn't that a great story.

so i wanted to let you, oh high mighty and loveable sassette, know that a little pain was well worth it and i would do it again in a heartbeat.

[wiccachica]

(A varitable army of paramedics surge across the grass to the pavement where wiccachica lays unmoving....)

The lead paramedic checks her pulse...

" We need to clear an airway....get me the crash cart....prep her for....

....hey...wait a minute...I've seen this before...this girl has Sass Flash Syndrome......

...See the goggly eyes...and the stunned expression...oh yeah...she could be this way for hours...days even.....pack up guys! This poor thing is a lost cause...!"

(the paramedics scurry back to their vans and pull away...leaving Wiccachica lying there...prone and goggly-eyed...)

(wink)

------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy

" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz

" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)

[Jae]

Well... you rock. (which is, of course, an understatement) You have made being home sick with bronchitus (did I spell that correctly?) far more pleasant than I would have thought possible, so thank you most kindly for sharing your talent.

[Owl]

*picks wiccachica up and drags her back to the harem for recovery* The woncubines will take good care of you.
tsk tsk, Sass! You should know better than that! No-one can resist your powers! Not even Wiccachica, apparently.

Excuse me, but....pictures! Aren't there supposed to be pictures???

Another update tonight? Possibly two? *arches eyebrow and attempts bond-girl impression* I'm sure we can make it worth your while, James....er... Sass.

[Sassette]

First off, let me say there's going to be a slight ... delay ... with the update. I'm still going to try to churn out two, but I might not make it ... y'see, after my extremely long day, I was so tired and happy to be leaving the office, I left the update that was done on my desk. So, I'm trying to recreate it as closely as possible (and since I usually do rewrites as a type those things up, that shouldn't be too bad ... just ... a little more time-consuming than I had hoped).

Second ... the responses to your kind responses.

**Bag O'Bones: Always flattering to hear something like that ... thank you *G* Those kinds of comments make staying up until odd hours to write the things totally worth it.

**wiccachica: Y'know, with all the Thrashings and Flashings, I fell like Gurgi. Oh, wait ... that was crunchings and munchings. And, uhh ... *sheepish look* ... if anyone GETS that reference, I'll be somewhat surprised.

**Jae: Awww ... bronchitis? Yuck! I hope you feel better ... and I'm glad my meager update was a bright spot in your icky sicky day.

**Owl: Of course I know better than that. I did it anyway. I'm naughty. But NO PICTURES! But yes, definitely an update, and possibly two if everything writes as fast as I'm hoping *crosses her fingers for luck* it will.

- Ette. Sass Ette.

[WiccansIllusion]

* still in awe that she got thrashed, and it was good.*

Sass..glad your back, hope NY was fun...

[Pixie]

*rushes over to wiccachica to give mouth-to-mouth* I'm just being a helpful, caring woncubine, and anyway, Sass said it helped!

Sassette, you'll really let me keep your panties! wow!! I'll sleep with them every night! Okay, that sounded way too naughty, even for me. How about if I just have them framed? Or maybe we can hang them in a place of honor on the tree next to our cheerleading practice ground. What do you think, Smitten Squad?

Hmmmm...what to do while waiting for the update.... (Sass, I'm sorry you had such a long day at work.) I know - I'll go take a bath. After jumping around, doing high kicks, and then lounging on the grass with no panties on, a bath is definitely called for. *looks coyly at Owl* Owl, mein liebeleh, wanna join me?

Sass, just in case you haven't noticed, still smitten.

[This message has been edited by Pixie (edited March 20, 2002).]

[Owl]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shaniezak:
And yes . . . Sass can dance. She has many skills. As for the photo of the assignment she had for y'all--as soon as I upload my pictures, I can post that for you.

---

*blushing profusely*
Sassette! I would not be so impudent as to ask for pictures of that.(the flashing) i'm not crude, just naughty! terribly embarrased now.

I admire your dedication for even trying to recreate your post. thank you, sass!
ette. sass ette. lol! actually, *tittering*

edited to add: woo hoo! *splish!* *overzealously joins pixie in tub*

[This message has been edited by Owl (edited March 20, 2002).]quote:

[jomarch]

*Jomarch peaks out from behind mountain of paperwork on desk and wonders if staff will notice her surreptitiously trying to hide files in drawers so that she can have time and a clear view to check pens board*

hi Sass, sorry to hear about your long day, mine is only half way through and I was so looking forward to an afternoon update. Its really nice of you to try and re-create it though. Good luck.

*jomarch sits back, ignores now growing mountain of paper files, voice messages and e-mails, finds some of Wiccachica's popcorn and enjoys watching Pixie and Owl* "Oh god, I thnik i'm a voyeur, go figure".

[This message has been edited by jomarch (edited March 21, 2002).]

[Sassette]

**W.I.: NY was great, thanks *G* And of course the thrashing was good! I am NOT a sub-standard thrasher

**Pixie: I am kind and generous, and yes, frame the panties, by all means *G* Oh, and ... enjoy your bath.

**Owl: Heh ... well, I'm thinking this thread is chock-full of irreverant impudence, so why should I assume things? Besides - it's fun *G* And, uhhh ... enjoy your bath.

**jomarch: Oooh... the joy and wonder of a long day at work. Heh. Hope this update does happy things for you. Oh, wait ... it's kind of ... cliffhangery. Sort of.

And Now For a Few Things About the Update: The new and improved I-forgot-my-notebook-at-work version is much longer than I had intended. So, it's gonna' need to be posted in two parts anyway ... what with the fact that I'm STILL finishing it up, I'm going to post the first section of it so y'all have something to read while I finish the other bit and, ummm ... go get some frickin' food. Damn, I'm hungry. And there's no food here, so I guess I'll be driving through. The other part of this update will be up tonight as long as I don't fall asleep on my burger.

Title: Answering Darkness Part 40 - Puzzles
Author: Sassette
Feedback: Can be sent to pink_overalls@yahoo.com
Summary: Willow thinks about all the things that are puzzling her.
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Tabula Rasa" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I'm just borrowing them because Season 6 angst is running high, and I want my happy ending now, dammit! So I'm writing it … but it'll be awhile until I get to that part, so bear with me (or "bare" with me if you're naughty).
Rating: PG-13
Notes: For the purpose of this story, all events of Tabula Rasa took place exactly as shown in the series; however, no subsequent episodes will affect this piece. We're splitting from canon here – this was MEANT to be a quick and easy reconciliation fic … but it just didn’t turn out that way. Stupid Hell God … Stupid Plot … getting in the way of my snugglies, damnit. Freakin’ Angst. Grrrr.

Answering Darkness Part 40

Puzzles

By Sassette

Willow liked puzzled. No, that wasn't quite right. Willow loved puzzles. She adored them. They made her brain do an excited little dance at another chance to excel and break through all expectations of her ability to solve them. Or anyone else's ability to solve them.

There was just one problem.

Her life depended on figuring this one out. Not only that, but possibly the Fate of the World.

And Willow hated pressure. She voted a Big 'No' on pressure. There was no waffling on the Pressure Issue. She was even ready to run for Mayor on a No Pressure platform if the idea of giving a speech in public didn't completely contradict what she would be campaigning for.

Hence the tummy rumblings. In fact, now that she was thinking about exactly what hinged on figuring all of this out, and how much of that counted on her, she was feeling decidedly nauseous. She could feel a bead of sweat make its way down the back of her neck, and a warm flush crawl up her face and her breathing quicken.

This was a Hell God with a plan. A plan they had unwittingly fallen in line with more times than Willow really cared to think about, her mind reeling with the idea that they had probably fallen in line more times than they would ever know.

How could they possibly stop that? What kind of bizarre strange move would they have to make to completely disrupt his plans and keep the world safe, at least for a little while as they tried to figure out how to stop him completely?

And what would that really take? Balancing Hell? But Glory was gone, and so there could be no balance, unless they got rid of the Trickster altogether. But how did someone fight a Hell God? At least Glory had been in Ben's body, and they had a few aces up their sleeves - but the Trickster himself had, as it turned out, been one of those aces. And how had she, or her ancestor, or however she should refer to someone who was her in a past life, but also a great-great-great and a few more "greats" grandmother, defeated him in the first place?

Would she have to face him? >Could< she face him?

"Honey?" she heard Tara call, worry evident in her voice even though it sounded like it came from a great distance. "Willow?" she heard again, barely making out the words through the great whooshing noise in her ears.

"I, uhh …" Willow stammered, rising unsteadily to her feet. "I gotta …" She stumbled where she stood, wondering idly what the hell she had tripped on, since she hadn't actually moved, sinking down to one knee. Laboriously, she clambered back to her feet, waving off the sea of swimming hands reaching out to her to help.

"Willow," Tara said again, outright alarm ripping through the haze and pulling Willow's attention.

"Urg," Willow uttered, pushing past her concerned friends and falling into Tara's arms. "Dizzy. Bathroom," she mumbled, her mouth watering as her stomach roiled.

"Oh, Baby," Tara uttered miserably, her gaze taking in the glassy look to Willow's eyes, the pale complexion, and the beads of sweat gathering on her face. She got on of Willow's arms around her shoulder, and looked over with a grateful expression as Buffy quickly stepped up and grabbed the other side, the two women hurrying Willow towards the bathroom.

"Seasick. Hate boats," Willow muttered, the floor pitching and roiling under her. "Stupid whales."

"Is she gonna' be okay?" Dawn asked nervously, looking over at the assembled Scoobies. She wasn't allowed to help with the actual research until she finished up her homework for the day, but she found it comforting to be in the room with all the people she loved. "And, umm … whales?"

"We went on a whale-watching trip in the third grade," Xander explained, her brow furrowed with concern. "Willow was really excited, but once we got on the boat, she spent the whole time being really sick."

"Oh, eww," Dawn said, trying to block out the sounds of Willow being conspicuously sick filtering out of the bathroom, along with the extra-disturbing crackling noise of the dark magick yuckiness. It wasn't so much knowing that Willow was being sick that set her teeth on edge and gave her a major tummy rumblings - it was knowing deep in her gut just how close Willow was to not making it. Sure, she had faith in the Scoobies. They had certainly saved the world often enough. Still, she had had faith in the doctors as well when they had said her mom would be all right, and … she hadn't.

"Hey, Dawnie," Xander said quietly, seeing the distressed look on the teenager's face. "Everything's going to be all right. We've got the Evil Fighting Dream Team here, and we're going to make sure it's all right, okay?"

"But … I just … this is all so -"

"I know," Xander said, his voice still low. "I'm scared, too."

"Xander is quite right," Giles said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, holding his place in his book with a forefinger. "We're not going to let anything happen to Willow. Now that we're aware that something out there is attempting to hurt her, we can stop it."

"How?" Dawn asked, a hard edge of bitterness to her voice.

"Just because we don't know yet, doesn't mean we'll fail," Giles said, his eyes shining with determination.

"But he's already won. Glory's dead," Dawn protested. "Doesn't that destroy the whole cosmic balance thingy?"

"We'll fix it," Xander said firmly. "Because we have to."

Buffy wandered back into the room, her face pale. "I'll never get used to that," she said slowly, flopping down onto the couch and pulling the old book back into her lap.

"Yeah, it's kind of … crackly," Xander agreed, his face scrunching up.

"Just wait until she starts vomiting blood. Then it'll be >really< disturbing," Anya piped up helpfully.

"Okay, eww," Buffy said slowly, her face pulling into her frown. "Could we not have those kinds of visuals, please?"

"…right back," Tara was saying as she came back into the room. "Baking soda?" she asked, looking around. Xander grabbed the box, tossing it to Tara, who caught it awkwardly but successfully. "Thanks," she said, meeting Xander's eyes, then turning to the rest of the group. "H-has it been this bad the w-whole time?" she asked, her face scrunching up as she forced the words past the worry and guilt.

"Pretty much," Buffy said gently. "But … it's been better since you've been back."

"It was … uhm … w-worse?" Tara asked, her eyes wide.

"I mean … not that you going was a bad thing," Buffy quickly backpedaled. "I mean, not that we didn't miss you. So, it was bad in that respect, but … muchly with the okay. It's, I mean… it's not your fault, Tara. You couldn't have stopped this, and …"

"I know what you mean," Tara said with a small nod, a frown pulling at her face as she hurried out of the room, wanting to get back to Willow.

"Magicky baking soda?" Willow asked quietly, still kneeling in front of the toilet.

"Yeah," Tara said, brandishing the box and kneeling next to Willow. She sprinkled some into the bowl, hearing the soft hiss as the opposing magicks mixed.

"I wonder what kind of reaction that is?" Willow mused, peering into the bowl and watching the bubbles. "I mean, is it kind of a magicky chemistry thing where they're passing little enchanted electrons around?"

"I have no idea," Tara said with a soft smile, brushing Willow's hair back behind her ear.

"I think I need more of the witchy pain coffee," Willow said glumly, sitting back and looking decidedly miserable.

"I think you need to take a break and get some sleep," Tara said seriously.

"Can't," Willow said with a helpless little shrug. "We need to know more stuff, and it's … it's like … my brain is going all Energizer Bunny, and if I go upstairs and lie down, I'm just going to be thinking about all the stuff I could be doing, and then I wouldn't be doing it, so it would really be all time waste-y for me to just sit there, when I wouldn't be sleeping anyway, see?"

"Could you at least try?" Tara asked, a sigh escaping her as she regarded Willow. On one hand, she agreed. Willow's brain was probably the best equipped to be figuring out what the Trickster was up to and how to stop it, but on the other she could see how sick and hurting Willow already was, and she wanted her to rest. It hurt her heart to see Willow in such pain, and she wanted it to stop. But really, what was the best way? Let Willow stay up, or make her rest?

"Can I take a notebook with me if I lie down?" Willow countered, a hopeful expression on her face. She felt driven to keep working, but somehow she couldn't deny Tara anything.

"I suppose that will work," Tara said. "But no sitting upright. And you're not getting coffee. I'll bring up some food, and you'll eat every bit of it. You're still way too thin."

"Can I sit up kinda' almost upright? Like all reclined like Cleopatra?" Willow questioned, trying to work out all the rules before she inadvertently broke one and incurred the wrath of Tara. "Ooh!" she added, a gleam in her eye. "Will you sit with me and feed me grapes?"

"Sure," Tara said with a smile, kissing Willow lightly on the cheek, then standing up. She pulled Willow to her feet, laughing at her question, only to have the laughter die away when Willow swayed unsteadily. "Hey, no fainting," Tara demanded, her eyes widening.

"I think … I'm … okay?" Willow said unconvincingly, leaning heavily against the sink to avoid falling over and pulling Tara with her. Not that being on the floor with Tara was a bad thing in and of itself, but falling there could get her baby bruised, and she couldn't have that, no matter how dizzy she was.

"You're not okay," Tara said. "Buffy!" she called out, leaning her head out the door as she kept Willow upright.

"What?" Buffy asked breathlessly, scrambling into the room just a few scant moments later. She had heard the worry in Tara's voice and immediately leapt to her feet, dashing for the room.

"She's dizzy," Tara explained, not taking her eyes off of Willow, who was still leaning heavily on the counter, her knees bent as if her legs couldn't support her wait.

"I'm fine," Willow protested weakly.

"Oh, no you're not," Buffy said immediately, scooping Willow up into her arms and carefully maneuvering her out of the cramped space of the half-bath.

"Need to brush my teeth," Willow protested.

"No, you need to lie down," Buffy said sternly, carrying Willow to the stairs with an agitated Tara right behind her.

"Need smoochies," Willow mumbled. "Have to brush teeth."

"Not from me, you don't," Buffy said. "Does she always have a one-track mind like this?" she asked Tara over her shoulder as she reached the top of the stairs.

"I demand a toothbrush! I know my rights," Willow declared in a wavering voice as Tara hurried to open the bedroom door and keep out of Buffy's way at the same time.

"I'll get your toothbrush, baby," Tara said in a mollifying voice. "Just … lie down for now," she went on. "You got her?" she asked Buffy, looking over at the Slayer.

"Is that a serious question?" Buffy countered with a half-smile. "I'll settle her in, you get her toothbrush before she tosses all the toothpaste in the house into Boston Harbor."

"Need a sink," Willow protested, trying to sit up as soon as Buffy placed her on the bed.

"Willow, you can't stand up," Buffy said slowly, watching Willow waver as soon as her shoulders left the mattress.

"I can stand," Willow protested with a frown, trying to swing her legs over the side of the bed, only to have her efforts dashed by that dastardly Slayer. She looked up at her best friend and her frown deepened.

"The frown won't work," Buffy said, folding her arms across her chest. "It's the Wrath of Tara, or deal with the frown, and frankly? I prefer the frown," she confided, grabbing Willow's legs at the ankles and swinging them back onto the bed. "Now lie down before she gets back in here and we both get into trouble."

"You're pancake-whipped," Willow muttered. "Where's Anya when you need her? Sure, she's right there when I fold like a house of cards stacked by a three-year-old, but now? Oh, no," Willow complained, lying back down and continuing. "Here you are, all … you're like pancake batter. All gooey and beaten down and pancake-whipped."

"She makes great pancakes," Buffy said defensively. "Can I help it if she makes great pancakes?"

"Mrrrow?" Miss Kitty warbled, slinking out from under the bed and blinking curiously at Buffy. Soundlessly, she jumped onto the bed and padded over to Willow awkwardly on the uneven surface, sniffing her delicately and sneezing.

"Even Miss Kitty thinks I need to brush my teeth," Willow said, her voice heavy with fatigue. The room was spinning around her and she couldn't seem to make things stay in the right place. She closed her eyes with a huff, letting her head fall back against the pillows.

"I'm back," Tara said, bustling into the room, her hands full. "Here, sit her up," Tara requested.

"See?" Willow said accusatorily, opening her eyes to glare at Buffy as Buffy complied. Tara slid in behind her and Willow scootched back, forgetting her fit of pique once she was comfortably nestled against Tara's body, a lazy smile crossing her face.

"Here," Tara said, getting a leg on either side of Willow's body and holding her hands out to display their contents. "Toothbrush, toothpaste, glass of water, and spitting cup," she said.

"You really think of everything, don't you?" Buffy said, a smirk crossing her face.

"Thanks, baby," Willow said, trying to focus on the items swimming in front of her eyes, making a wild guess as to the location of the toothbrush and trying to grab it. She missed.

"Honey?" Tara asked worriedly. "Can you … I mean, umm… do you need … some help?"

"No, I can," Willow said, her brow furrowing in concentration as she tried to get the toothbrush again.

"Here," Buffy said, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking the two glasses from Tara's hands. Wordlessly, Tara uncapped the toothpaste, squirting a bit onto the toothbrush and then dipping it into the water quickly.

"Open," she instructed.

"Tara, I can," Willow started to protest, only to stop when Tara nudged her into silence. Buffy looked away but continued her cup-holding duties.

"Open," Tara said again, and Willow opened her mouth, feeling completely absurd yet relieved at the same time. Her arms didn't seem to want to follow her instructions, and she was having a little difficulty finding the toothbrush. Carefully, Tara brushed Willow's teeth, the odd angle hard to manage, but she eventually got the hang of it.

Willow giggled helplessly, finding the situation strangely funny.

"Willow, this is serious," Tara admonished with a frown.

"Hw cn vis we seewus?" Willow muttered around the toothbrush.

"Spit," Tara ordered, and Buffy helpfully held out the cup. Thankfully, Willow's aim was better here, or else Buffy was just a world-class spit-cup holder, as she managed to get the foamy toothpaste into the cup.

"Rinse," Tara said, and Buffy held up the water glass to Willow's lips. Willow sucked in a mouthful of water, then swished it around in her cheeks, leaning her head back on Tara's shoulder.

"Spit," Tara said again after a moment, studying Willow's pale face and letting her fear at this new development show on her features. Willow was clearly as weak as a newborn, and dizzy as well as nauseous and Tara felt somewhat helpless in the face of this.

Wearily, Willow lifted her head, spitting into the cup Buffy held up and then inhaling a deep breath through her mouth, satisfied with the minty freshness she found.

"Okay," Willow said, a small smile drifting across her face.

"Now, you're going to sleep," Tara ordered, moving to shift out from under Willow.

"No, stay," Willow protested, turning onto her side and resting her cheek against Tara's shoulder.

"Looks like you're on pillow-duty," Buffy observed, setting the glass of water on the nightstand. "I'll just, uhh … take these," she said, grabbing the toothpaste and shifting it into the hand with the spit-cup, then gingerly taking the toothbrush between two fingers and holding it away from her body.

"But I need to do some reading," Tara protested. "And Willow needs food." Willow snuggled closer, her eyes drifting shut and Tara's arms automatically closed around her.

"I think you're stuck," Buffy said dryly. "We'll handle the research and the food. Willow's not well, and you've got to be pretty tired, too," she went on. "Seriously, just take a nap. We'll wake you guys in a couple of hours so you can eat and check on Willow, okay?"

"But -" Tara protested, even as she shifted Willow into a more comfortable position.

"No buts," Buffy said. "Besides - how much work are you going to get done down there while you're worrying about Willow up here?"

"You're right," Tara said, a self-deprecating smile crossing her face. Buffy nodded, satisfied with her win, and left the room, managing to shut the door behind her. "Willow, honey? You'll get a crick in your neck like that," Tara said, rolling Willow onto her side despite her sleepy protests and getting her leg out from under her.

"Tara," Willow murmured, immediately rolling back and settling herself on Tara's prone body. Tara felt Willow relax against her bonelessly, and something about the movement worried her.

"Get some rest, baby," Tara said softly, kissing the red hair tucked under her chin. "I'm here."

"Tara?" Willow uttered.

"Yeah, sweetie?" Tara asked, caressing Willow's hair, her arm tightening across her back as Willow snuggled closer.

"Things're all spinny. Hard to move," she mumbled. "'s scary."

"I've got you, baby," Tara said, inserting as much reassurance into her shaky voice as she could. "You just rest."

"Y'stay?"

"Always. I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

"'Kay."

Tara's eyes stayed open and she stared at the ceiling as she felt Willow's breathing even out against her. She stroked Willow's back soothingly, as much to comfort herself as to comfort the woman sleeping so trustingly in her arms, her mind turning over everything that had happened so far.