Fic: Dreadpirarteemily's collected Fiction

[dreadpirateemily*]

dreadpirateemily
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 9
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 02, 2001 22:18
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Well this is my first fanfic ever, inspired by "Tough Love." (Top five eps ever... easy)
Characters, show, etc., all belong to Whedon and company. I just made up the moment.

So this is what happened the night before the morning in which Glory took the wall down and shed the light on her damn key. Just a slice of life moment to further the angst while we wait for Tuesday – interminable Tuesday.

Willow, Xander and Anya arrived at the hospital at 8 o’clock in the morning to take Tara home. Parking, paperwork, signatures, instructions, questions and reassurances. All were taken care of. Now it was Willow’s time to take care of Tara. That’s the thing. Life keeps happening and Willow had to think. Think when it was all she could do to stop the feelings long enough to string together a sentence, a step, a smile. She would take Tara to her room and think more then.

Tara was drugged with heavy depressants, and slept most of the day. Willow sat on the bed and stroked her hair and murmured soft and close. “Tara, you’re still here, you know. Still with me. Still with the me who’s the one that’s not going anywhere. The one who’s not really thinking that she can live without you. That one.”

Willow took Tara’s hand and held it to her cheek and let the tears go. She let Tara catch them, just like always. She knew Tara was holding out her hand somewhere inside. Holding it out to catch Willow.

Willow started to make phone calls. She would drop classes. She would have the hospital send the paperwork to the registrar so that she could withdraw Tara from her classes. She called Giles and asked for boxes in order to pack up Tara’s room. He asked if she was okay. She said yes. He asked if he should come by. She said no. He said that Anya asked if Tara could see other dimensions and if so, to see if she could recognize a demon named Zartog, and if so, to say hi for her. Willow hung up the phone.

Tara woke up and looked around, frightened, bleary, frustrated. She grabbed her bandages on her hand and started tearing at them, muttering, they make it hurt. The blood makes it hurt. Willow took her and rocked her and stroked her head and wrapped her hand again. She looked at the restraints the doctor had given her like they were the enemy. She would be enough to keep her calm. She could do this.

Tara looked up at Willow with clarity and a smile and said “Willow, what’s wrong?” Willow looked down, stunned, “Are you back?!” “Are you you?!” but she was gone again. Like smoke.

Willow took Tara to the showers late, after everyone in the dorm had gone to bed. She bathed her, washed her hair, fed her soup, gave her more pills and put her to bed. She was exhausted but couldn’t bring herself to lay down beside Tara. She looked right. Everything looked right. Her eyes closed and dreaming, her hair falling in her eyes, her arm outstretched, reaching for Willow. Would it feel different now that Tara was different? Would Tara still know her, know her smell, know to hold her tight, but just when she was on her side? Would she forget to kiss her and whisper in her ear that she was loved and to have sweet dreams and jellybeans? She didn’t know and so she could not sleep. Willow dropped her head to her chest and started to let the tears come. She breathed into it and let them flow down her cheeks and onto her pillow where she was supposed to lay. She was looking at her lover sleeping and had never before in her life felt so alone.

Willow started to shift over to the chair when Tara opened her eyes, reached out her hand, took Willow’s and said, “A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold.” Willow crawled into the bed and slept til morning.

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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."

dreadpirateemily
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 9
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 02, 2001 22:21
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Jeez! I forgot to say that the title is:
"In-Between."
And also.... try to be gentle. Thanks. Okay. bye.

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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."

LadyJ
Doll's eye crystal

Posts: 117
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 02, 2001 22:48
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Wow, ok Anya's line say hi for me just Xander did when Willow said no Angel is Not dead lol back in season 2.
This is deep, I like it. We should call it patches.
Tiauna
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All I do is visit the board, I have no boyfriend, and I love W/T. Does this mean I'm gay?

TashaR
Floating Rose

Posts: 42
Registered: Feb 2001 posted May 02, 2001 23:23
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I loved this! Poor Willow! make me get all teary!!
Wonderful writing, write another one!!

Roxton
Strong like an Amazon

Posts: 1645
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 02, 2001 23:33
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That was so touching dreadpirateemily. Thanks. I especially liked the line "A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold." That gives us hope.

[This message has been edited by Roxton (edited May 02, 2001).]

ryankelly
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 16
Registered: Apr 2001 posted May 03, 2001 00:33
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dreadpirateemily, that was GREAT! It was such an emotional episode last night and your fic really captured just how sad and heartbreaking it all is. The idea of Willow walking Tara to the showers and bathing her nearly made me cry. Thanks for the fic!
Cheers,
Ryan

p.s. I love your username

FlyingBunny
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 2
Registered: May 2001 posted May 03, 2001 00:54
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*SOB*
That was great! Please don't stop writing

[This message has been edited by FlyingBunny (edited May 03, 2001).]

Kirk B
Cool Monster Fighter

Posts: 140
Registered: Oct 2000 posted May 03, 2001 01:05
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quote:
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Originally posted by dreadpirateemily:
Willow started to shift over to the chair when Tara opened her eyes, reached out her hand, took Willow’s and said, “A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold.” Willow crawled into the bed and slept til morning.

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First of all, great story.
I mean that.
Very moving, and I could see everything you mentioned actually happening.

Secondly, a question.
The “A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold.” line...would you mind if I added that to my signature. It is a great line.

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Kirk B

"Even when I'm at my worst, you always make me feel special. How do you do that?"

"Magic."

BBOvenGuy
Gay Now!

Posts: 1424
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 03, 2001 03:05
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This is really good! I love the atttention to detail. Nice job!


xita
Ms. Moderator
Fantastico

Posts: 3191
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 03, 2001 03:41
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Oh the last line. Very good! Thanks.


Wiccagrrl
Willowhand

Posts: 477
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 03, 2001 03:47
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That was so wonderful, and I love the last line so much. Thanks for posting this.


Teresa
Doll's eye crystal

Posts: 82
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 03, 2001 05:53
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I loved this sooooo much. I especially liked the last line.
Teresa

dreadpirateemily
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 9
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 03, 2001 09:46
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Thanks so much for the great reception! This board is truly the best there is.
And Kirk B, I am totally flattered and sure! use it! Spread the love I say.

Must go now to be further inspired by our favorite girls.

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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."

Hemiola
Floating Rose

Posts: 32
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 03, 2001 10:00
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Excellent story. Very moving.
Just a small correction: I think you mean "sedatives" for the medications, not "depressants"

Kirk B
Cool Monster Fighter

Posts: 140
Registered: Oct 2000 posted May 03, 2001 11:34
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Thanks.
As you can see below, I've started using it with this post.

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Kirk B

"A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold.”

Hear that baby? You're my always.

christa monsta
Doll's eye crystal

Posts: 58
Registered: Dec 2000 posted May 03, 2001 11:43
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super great fic. i'm getting misty at work, darn you!
and i love the fact that willow's dropping her classes...right after we heard (in tough love) tara say to willow that she wouldn't miss class even if her head was on fire.

but she'll drop them for tara!! *sniff sniff*

holy tara
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 21
Registered: Nov 2000 posted May 03, 2001 11:59
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*tear* That was Keep up the good WillowTara goodness.


tommo
Gay Now!

Posts: 1050
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 03, 2001 13:53
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Yes...yes yes yes! I really liked that. Really did. I especially liked the bit when Tara seemed to 'come to' and be herself again. It gave me hope. You bugger!
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"Sometimes she's fine. She looks at me and...she's fine...it's ok. I can do this. I'm gonna take care of her. Even if she never...She's my girl...Hear that baby? You're my always."

Dr.G
Gay Now!

Posts: 1344
Registered: Jan 2001 posted May 04, 2001 05:03
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That was so very beautiful! You should write more.


hez
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 1
Registered: May 2001 posted May 04, 2001 11:45
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That's my girl, leave all the fans begging for more!! Hey, somebody should grab you up and force you to write for "Buffy". What happens next in your little world?


Warduke
Big Pineapple

Posts: 754
Registered: Nov 2000 posted May 04, 2001 11:54
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Great story, really touching.


Kirk B
Cool Monster Fighter

Posts: 140
Registered: Oct 2000 posted May 04, 2001 12:45
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quote:
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Originally posted by dreadpirateemily:
Well this is my first fanfic ever, inspired by "Tough Love." (Top five eps ever... easy)

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As I said before, great story, and thanks for letting me use your quote.

Secondly, seeing as we both seem to have a similar taste for the sweet, angsty stuff, maybe we should try and write something together.

I'll bet the other Kitties would like that, wouldn't you folks?

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Kirk B

"A Willow is a tree that weeps, but Tara is firmer and will hold.”

Hear that baby? You're my always.

Kieli
Cool Monster Fighter

Posts: 176
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 04, 2001 12:54
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Sound wicked cool to me, Kirk. Ever since I've met you folks, I've become a romantic sap! *LOL* You guys are ruining my image as a hardass with no feelings and no heart!
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"My heart doesn't stutter."--Amber in WBB

Pixie-Muso
Floating Rose

Posts: 48
Registered: Apr 2001 posted May 04, 2001 22:34
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This is such a great story! I can't wait to more fic written by you.

[dreadpirateemily*]

dreadpirateemily
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 11
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 10, 2001 20:02
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This occurs right after the season finale. Of course, we don't know what happens yet, so if what happens in my story doesn't happen, then it's an alternate universe!
WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS AND RUMORS, ALL UNCONFIRMED, THROUGHOUT THE STORY!!! (If you have gone spoiler free thus far, this might have to wait. I know it will kill you.)

S
P
A
C
E

All everything is Joss. I owe the title to Nelly Furtado.

Follow Me Down

Xander rushed past the “For Sale” sign in the front yard and burst into the living room, dropping bags, and going back for more. Anya pulled a tape gun out of a bag and read off of the label, “Tape Gun. Wouldn’t it be easier to just cut it?” Giles, attempting to pick up a box, pulled out stitches and was helped to the couch by Xander. “Here,” said Xander, handing Giles the phone and a paper. “Why don’t you start calling around for an apartment for Buffy?” Giles, pale and sweaty, started combing through the classifieds, mumbling, “…cozy bungalow, walk to work!….doesn’t anyone just put in the square footage anymore?” Xander backed the truck up in the driveway and started to load boxes.

Buffy carried a box down the stairs and dropped it halfway down. The box marked “Fragile” tumbled down into the foyer. Anya put her hand on Buffy’s shoulder as she gave the tired slayer a bottle of water, “Changing your whole life makes you thirsty!” She looked around to gauge the reaction. She had been practicing soothing tones.

Buffy trudged back up the stairs and stared at Dawn’s bedroom door. She was stuck. Tara came up behind her, “We could go in together.” Buffy stared straight ahead and nodded. Tara opened the door. Buffy closed her eyes and walked away. It had turned back into the storage area for her mom’s museum pieces. Tara proceeded to start packing it up.

Willow cried out, “dammit dammit!” as she cut her hand on a knife. She was trying to make sandwiches and was spreading the peanut butter with a steak knife. Couple of days ago, I did a spell that kept a God at bay and now I can’t spread peanut butter, she thought. She sat on a stool and looked through the back window. I hate this. Nothing is right this time. Buffy didn’t save the day. Dawn is gone. Tara is back, but different. I’m tired. I don’t want to make sandwiches. I don’t want to help. I want to lay down. I’m sick of helping. It’s not better. Why isn’t it better now?

Tara unlocked the door to the dorm and made her way through more moving boxes to find the light. This time, they were Tara’s things in the boxes. Willow rammed into a box by the closet, stopped, shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She was getting red and clinching her fists. Tara said, “honey?” but stopped when Willow didn’t turn to her. Willow wanted to be alone, but couldn’t ask Tara to stay somewhere else. Where would she go? She was so glad when Tara came back to her, but now she felt a burning in her ears and felt her teeth clench every time Tara said her name. The same voice that had soothed her and made her feel loved and complete was now so grating to her that she had to fake sleep to build up the reserves to hear it the next day.

Tara screamed and woke up, soaked. She told Willow that she dreamt that she was back in the hole, dark, cold, wet, alone. She had reached for Willow, floating just above her, but when Willow reached down, her hand was a claw that severed Tara’s hand at the wrist. Willow flew off with the hand between her teeth. Lightning bolts stitched their way across Willow’s stomach as she listened. Tara leaned in her direction, but Willow turned to get out of the bed. She asked Tara if she wanted some water.

Willow didn’t hear Tara leave the next morning. There was a note to meet her at the magic shop that afternoon. Open already? Willow thought. She shoved more boxes aside so that she could find the aspirin in the cabinet. She spent the next hour standing at the closet door deciding what to wear.

“How much?!” Giles said into the receiver, “…uh-huh, that includes utilities… well it bloody well should include shining my shoes.” He hung up and crossed off another ad. He winced as he moved towards the coffee pot when Tara offered to get it for him. “Black right?” she said. “Yes, thank you,” said Giles as he moved to the table and sat down. “You say she’s distant?” he said as Tara sat beside him. “It’s more than that, really. It’s just… there’s something wrong. She’s mad. But more. She’s, well…” “Darker,” said Giles. Tara nodded, breathing harder, afraid of it being said out loud. “I’ve noticed it too. But with everything that’s happened, we can hardly hold her responsible. If it weren’t for her power, I fear we would not have lasted long against Glory.” “That’s what worries me,” said Tara, “Her power was necessary. And so destructive. What if she doesn’t have anything to fight? What if it just sits inside her?” “With no release,” said Giles as he took off his glasses and looked towards the door.

Buffy walked in. She was dressed in a gray sweatshirt and blue jeans, wearing a ponytail. She looked like a pale teenager. “What’s up?” she took a seat at the table. Giles said, “It’s Willow. We are concerned that the magick she called upon of late may be of danger to her now.” Buffy’s expression didn’t change. Tara said, “I think she’s really not herself. I mean, she seems really mad and upset.” Buffy shrugged, “Well, why would she be (sarcastically) mad and upset?” We saved the world, didn’t we? Well, she did really.” Buffy got up and started pacing in front of the table. She pointed her fingers in the air. “Boom! Down goes Glory! Boom! Gotta save Buffy! Boom! Oops! Couldn’t get to Dawn, but oh well, 2 out of 3, huh? Not bad…. Huh Buffy? Hey Buffy! Look at me! I saved the world... well, most of it anyway.”

Giles and Tara looked beyond Buffy to Willow, who had just walked in.

Buffy looked at Willow, meeting her gaze, not backing down. Willow looked past Buffy to Tara and Giles. “Is this why you wanted me to meet you? So that we could go over how badly I play super hero?” “Actually,” said Giles, “we wanted to talk to you about your magic… we are all very concerned…” “Concerned,” said Willow. “Concerned. Buffy sounded full of concern. And worry. Lots of worry is what I heard. How about you, baby?” she turned to Tara, “Is that what you heard? Or were you too busy talking. Huh? Talking about me? Not to me, right? But about me? To Buffy?” Tara crossed her arms, “Willow, I…” “Stop. Just shut your mouth,” said Willow.

“Why don’t you shut yours?” said Buffy, inching towards Willow. “Perhaps we should move to the training room?” said Giles. “Fine.” Buffy marches in, Willow close behind, welling tears of rage in her eyes. “What are you doing?” said Tara, “They can’t fight! Buffy might hurt her before she knows what she’s doing…. This isn’t what’s supposed to happen!” Giles turned to her, put his hands on her shoulders and murmured, “None of this was supposed to happen. But it did. And if we are to get either of them back, we must allow them to get this out. They are both spiralling out of control and I fear that they are closer to each other right now than they are to us.” Giles and Tara jumped. A window shattered.

The air was electrified. Literally. Giles and Tara could only watch from the door. The punching bag, torn from it’s chains, was thrown through the window and lay shredded by the broken burglar bars. Neither Tara nor Giles could tell who was responsible. “You can’t keep doing this!” screamed Buffy. “You are out of control, Willow.” “I wasn’t so out of control when you had me cast spells and… and blast Glory. Now that it’s over and you don’t need me, I’m out of control and I have to stop because you say so, is that it?” She circled Buffy like boxer. “No,” said Buffy, watching Willow, “not because I say so. Because it’s over!” Buffy vaults to the weight bench and throws the barbells across the room where they skid to a halt at Willow’s feet. “Because we won and it’s over and we still don’t have my sister! The world is safe. My sister is dead. So it’s over.” She looked at the floor. “So stop your magic before you hurt yourself.” Buffy never raised her head.

“Buffy, I tried…” pleaded Willow. “Stop…. Don’t,” said Buffy. “What don’t?!” Willow approached. “I did try and it wasn’t good enough. And now I’m supposed to stop trying because it wasn’t good enough. So maybe if I stop doing magic, you won’t have to be reminded of what a failure I am?” The floor started rolling, like lava. “So that you don’t have to be reminded of what a substandard superhero I am compared to Buffy?!” Buffy ran to Willow and shook her hard, “What do you want from me? I … have… nothing… left.” She walked off and with a casual blow took the balance beam down.

Willow, swinging around, summons the fencing swords off of the wall to block Buffy’s path. “I was in your head, Buffy.” “What do you want, a medal?!” screamed Buffy. “You did all the right and good things, Willow, you brought me back just in time to watch my sister die. Thanks for that.”

The swords dropped with a clang to the floor. “I don’t want a medal, Buffy. I want you to stop saying stuff like what do you want, a medal? I know how you block it all out. I saw you before you were the slayer and you did it the same then. You just shut down. Tuned out.” Willow approached Buffy softly. “But you came back, Buffy. You came back because there was someone you loved who needed you.”

“She’s gone!” Buffy screamed, tears raging down her cheeks. “My family is dead, Willow. What am I gonna do?”

The air went calm as Buffy collapsed into Willow’s arms and let the witch hold her as she cried. Giles and Tara walked back into the shop and made a phone call.

Anya made her way around the living room, setting up the tv trays in front of each of their guests. Xander put plates down as Anya started serving. As she got to Tara, “No food for you. Might end up in my hair.” Tara looked puzzled. “Now we all know what you were like when you were two. Sheesh!”

Willow pointed her finger at Anya and started to chant, “Evil demon in female form, get thee back….” And then dropped the guise mid-chant. Everyone’s shock turned to relief. Willow raised her arms in the air, “kidding, kidding.”

Dread Pirate Emily - aargh!

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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning."
Catherine Allard

[This message has been edited by dreadpirateemily (edited May 10, 2001).]

Rane
Willowhand

Posts: 415
Registered: Sep 2000 posted May 10, 2001 21:09
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brilliant! i love it! just one thing...
SPOILERS AND RUMORS!

teehee!

hugs,
rane

dreadpirateemily
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 11
Registered: Mar 2001 posted May 10, 2001 21:13
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Aack! You are right! All fixed now. Thanks!
[This message has been edited by dreadpirateemily (edited May 11, 2001).]

genstor
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 1
Registered: May 2001 posted May 11, 2001 10:10
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Very cool... I would loooove to see this happen on the show.


Bernium
Blessed Wannabe

Posts: 2
Registered: May 2001 posted May 11, 2001 11:35
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Great story...loved the characterization. Buffy and Willow's emotions were convincingly detailed.
Seems that there's a lil missing in the wrap up department though
I'd simply love to read more of your stories in future!
Bernie


Zahir
Nether World Anchor

Posts: 517
Registered: Nov 2000 posted May 11, 2001 11:55
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quote:
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Originally posted by genstor:
Very cool... I would loooove to see this happen on the show.
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Nooooooooooo! I want Dawn to survive thank you very much!

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"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam