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My first fanfic - Forgiveness

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My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sat Nov 17, 2001 11:12 pm

Hi everyone, well, i've decided to write my first fanfiction. This is based on possible spoilers i've read and on episodes up to tabula rasa. Let's face it, things are getting a little depressing, so i thought i would try to write a happy ending. Comments etc. are welcome, but please be nice, this is only my first fanfic attempt.

Disclaimer: The characters used in this piece of writing stem from the brain and brilliance of joss whedon. I've just borrowed them on the hope that no-one will notice. Please don't sue me, I am a poor student and have no money.

Rating - well - there won't be too much violence and its going to have a happy ending but let's face it, Willow and Tara have fabulous, electric chemistry and they're madly in love, so there will be at least one racy scene in there somewhere. So if that's going to offend you, maybe this isn't the right fic for you

Forgiveness - Part 1

Willow sat in shock on the bathroom floor. She knew that Tara was packing and getting ready to walk out of her life and she couldn't bear the pain. She had never felt hurt on this scale and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Everything had been so great with Tara - before she started getting into the dark magics against Tara's warnings. When she'd first met Tara, she'd felt an instant connection, like she'd found a missing piece of herself. The first time they'd touched, they'd created enough energy to move objects across a rooom. The first time they'd kissed, it had been like nothing Willow could have imagined - the electricity, the passion and the tenderness. The first time they'd made love had been beyond amazing - it was passionate, gentle and perfect. Willow's mind was always working but Tara made everything stop and when Willow fell asleep afterwards with Tara curled up next to her, she felt it was the happiest moment of her life.

But how things had changed. Tara was beyond furious with Willow. Willow knew what she'd done was wrong. When they'd had that fight on Halloween over Willow using magic too freely, things had gotten pretty tense between them. Willow couldn't stand the tension and the disapointed look in Tara's eyes. She'd used a forgetting spell on Tara so that things could get back to normal between them but nothing had turned out like she planned. She thought magic would make things better but it had ripped them apart.

Tara had found out about it - she'd been understandably devastated. Willow had never seen Tara like that before. After Willow's pleading, Tara had said she'd think about staying with Willow if gave up magic for a week. But Willow knew Tara had already left her the minute she found out about the forgetting spell.

Crying in the bathrooom, Willow reflected on her decision to cast the last spell. The spell that had caused Tara to look at her with such a look of devastation. It had broken Willow's heart.

Willow had known Tara was angry about the first forget spell and she knew Buffy was deeply unhappy about being pulled from heaven. The second spell had seemed like a way to fix all the earlier problems. She'd just wanted everything to be good between them and magic seemed like a way of making things easy.

And the spell had worked - sort of. Everyone had forgotten who they were but Tara and her had still found each other. The connection between them was as powerful and electric as it had ever been, even when they didn't know who they were. Even when Willow knew very little about anything else, lying on top of Tara in that pipe - she'd felt like she was in the exact right spot. And the way Tara had touched her hair, stared into her eyes... it had made Willow's heart go into overdrive.

And then the spell had been broken and now Tara was leaving. And all Willow could do was cry.

Part 2 (it gets happier, i promise) to follow if anyone's interested

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sat Nov 17, 2001 11:27 pm

Okay, i feel like i am on a bit of a roll, so here's some more (and a bit of some Tara perspective too )

Forgiveness - Part 2

Tara understood why Dawn had pushed her away outside the Summers house but it still hurt deeply. Poor Dawny - she must feel so alone. And as angry as she was with Willow, she'd never felt as sad as she had when Willow had begged her to stay.
Tara couldn't believe that her Willow - the gentle, loving Willow that had been prepared to look after her forever after Glory's brainsucking - had violated her mind like that. Had reached into her brain and altered parts of it to suit her needs.
And yet when she'd seen Willow's face - when Willow knew she was leaving - she couldn't stand to see the pain and hurt etched onto her face.

Oh Willow. Why did you do it? Twice! Tara had never loved anything like she had Willow - she had never though her heart could be as full of love as it had been for Willow.

She'd felt like Willow was a missing piece of her soul. This thought had been confirmed the first time they'd made love. Tara had had some awkward teenage encounters before but the first time she'd been with Willow it had been beyond perfect. Willow had been wondeful - so sensitive and gentle and passionate and sexy. Yes, Willow was unbelievably sexy..

As Tara walked down the street away from the Summers house she blinked back tears. If she'd turned around, she would have the a light on. The bedroom light in the room she'd shared with Willow. Willow stood at the window looking down at Tara, walking away from her and out of her life.

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Rane » Sat Nov 17, 2001 11:32 pm

more please!
Rane
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sat Nov 17, 2001 11:55 pm

Well - okay - I'm so pleased that someone's liking it

Forgiveness - Part 3

Tara hadn't been sure where she was headed when she packed but it seemed like she had one main option.

"Oh Tara" , Xander wrapped his arms around Tara and held her close to him as she tried to stop crying. Even Anya was being remarkably sweet. She had ducked off to get some spare blankets from the cupboard. "I'm sorry Xander - I wasn't sure where to go, I..."

Anya interrupted Tara by dumping some sheets onto the couch. "Tara - for what its worth, I can't believe what Willow's done. You're welcome to stay with Xander and I for as long as you need to."

Tara smiled gratefully at Anya through her tears. Anya awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. She's always had a soft spot for Tara. The scoobies were tight-knit and her and Tara had both felt on the outside sometimes. And besides, Tara was a really sweet girl - it was hard not to like her.

Two hours later found Xander and Anya in bed and Tara curled up on the couch. In their bedroom, Xander and Anya began to talk softly. "Xander", Anya urged, "You know you'll have to talk to Willow tomorrow." Xander sighed. "Yeah An, I know. But I don't know what I'm going to say."

Anya interrupted Xander. "Tell her she's been unbelievably stupid! I know she loves Tara. Remember what she was like at the hospital after Glory sucked her brain? I'm eleven hundred years old and I've only seen love like that maybe eight times.. And Willow's hurt Tara terribly. Why? Why would she do that?"

"I don't know An." said Xander. "But tomorrow morning I'm going to find Will and I'm going to have a serious talk with her.

"Good" said Anya. "And don't you ever do anything like that. I couldn't stand it if you ever ..."

"Come here Anya" said Xander as he pulled Anya closer. "I promise I won't. Poor Tara. I hope she's going to be okay."

Tara tried not to cry as she curled up in a tight little ball on the couch. Oh god, she though. What am i going to do now? I miss you so much Willow, I just want to have you here with me...but how can I trust you again?

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 12:18 am

Forgiveness - Part 4

Over at the Summers house, things were chaotic. Dawn had looked herself into her bedroom and wouldn't come out and talk to Buffy.

Buffy was dealing with a few emotional problems of her own, including confusing feelings about Spike and the loss of Giles.
And now Willow had gone and done something unbelievably stupid and had cast a dark shadow over something pure and good.

Buffy tapped on the door to the room that had been Willow and Tara's. "Will. Come on, you and I really need to have a bit of a talk. Will, just open the door."

Buffy's delicate slayer hearing picked up the sound of feet gently padding across the room and seconds later the bedroom clicked open. Willow's face was tear-stained. "Buffy, i..." Willow didn't get any further. The tears started up again and Buffy pulled Willow into a hug.

Half an hour later, Willow and Buffy were sitting on the bed. "Oh Buffy, I've made your shirt all messy ..I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Will. I'm not worried about the shirt. I'm worried about you." Buffy's tone wasn't angry but it was certainly serious. "You're not acting like the Willow I've seen so many apocalypses through with. You're not acting like the Willow who respects her friends and you're not acting like the Willow who respects her girlfriend. I know you love us and I've seen the way you're in love with Tara but the way you're acting. It's just not you."

Willow couldn't respond to what Buffy was saying. Tears were falling down her face and she having trouble talking. After a few more minutes she managed to speak. "I just wanted things to be easier Buffy. I just wanted to make things better for us all. For you and I and for Tara and I. And I thought the magic could do that. The tears started again and Buffy pulled Willow into another hug.

"I'm not going to pretend that I'm happy with you Willow. People's minds are not there for you to tamper with them. I hope you understand that. But I know how much you're hurting now and I hope that you've learnt something and that you're going to try and fix what you've done."

Willow looked over at Buffy. "I'm sorry Buffy, I know what i did was wrong. I shouldn't have used magic the way that i did and I am so, so sorry."

Buffy saw Willow's tear-streaked face. "Oh Will. I know you're sorry and I know you're suffering. I know how much you love Tara and I know how hard this must be."

That set Willow off again and Buffy sat with her for another half-an-hour not saying very much at all. After half and hour, WIllow seemed to be much calmer. "It's okay Buffy, I know what I've got to do.":

Buffy looked surprised but Willow didn't seem to want to talk anymore, so Buffy lleft it at that. Besides, Dawn needed some serious attention. Buffy got up and shut the bedroom door after her.

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Lonewolf » Sun Nov 18, 2001 12:38 am

Miss Spangles: Really cool fic, I'm dying to read more of it, I wanna see how Willow and Tara make up. Can't wait for the next part.

Lonewolf

Lonewolf
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 12:55 am

Forgiveness - Part 5

Willow stretched out on the bed. She could hear Buffy moving around downstairs and some tapping on Dawn's bedroom door. Poor Dawn, thought Willow. She knew how much Dawn loved Tara and how awful Dawn must be feeling.

I'm sorry Dawny. But I'm going to make things right again, I promise. Tara baby. I'm going to show you how much I love you and I am going to fix things between us. And I'm going to do it the proper way.

Over at Xander and Anya's, Tara had fallen into a fitful sleep. Her pillow was damp and soaked with tears. But from somewhere within her dreams she felt a strange sense of calm come over her.

Several hours later Anya walked into the loungeroom and saw Tara already sitting at the table with a cup of tea. "Hey Tara, do you still feel as awful as you did last night?"
While the wording was probably a little strange, Tara got the sentiment behind what Anya was saying

"I still feel pretty bad. I miss Willow, you know." Tara walked over the pot of hot water. "Would you like a cup?" Anya smiled. Tara was considerate, even though she be obviously in a lot of pain..
"thanks Tara, that would be nice. Xander gets Saturdays off from the construction site but still I have to open the Magic Box. But then, lots of people like to spend money on Saturdays, so i guess that's okay." Anya smiled again at the thought of money.

"Hey Tara, If you're going to be just sitting around thinking about Willow, why don't you come to the Magic Box and help me out?" Tara knew what Anya was saying and she agreed that it was probably a good idea to find something else to do besides think about Willow. But how can I not think about you Willlow. I love you! Tara shook her head and responded to Anya's offer. "Sure, I can help you out. It will give me something to do that doesn't involve sitting around crying about Willow."

Three hours later Xander got out of bed, pulled on some clothes and wandered out to the loungeroom. A note stuck under a cold cup of coffee on the table caught his eye.
Xander - Tara and I have gone to the Magic Box to make some money. We will be back later this afternoon. Remember to do that thing we talked about.
Anya.

Xander drunk the cold cup of coffee and sighed. This was not going to be easy. Poor Willow. And poor Tara. He put the cup in the sink, grabbed his car keys and headed out the door. He had an old friend to see.

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 1:07 am

Thanks lonewolf glad that you're liking it.
And don't worry - I only like happy endings so Willow and Tara are going to find their way back to each other
Here's the next part

Forgiveness - Part six

Twenty minutes later Xander pulled up out the front of the Summers house. Two minutes later he was sitting in the lounge room with Buffy. Buffy seemed remarkably positive. "Xander, I talked to her last night and she knows now that she's doing the wrong thing and she really, really wants to make things right. Between her friends and between her and Tara."

Xander allowed himself a smile. "Well, is the remorseful one awake yet. I'd like to have a bit of a talk with her."

Buffy answered, "She hasn't come downstairs yet but I did hear some moving around a few hours ago. I'm guessing that if you go upstairs now you should find a conscious Willow, although probably not a happy one."

Xander grimaced. "Okay, I'm going up."
Buffy looked thoughtfully at Xander as he headed up the stairs. Willow was lucky that she had friends that cared about her.

Two minutes later Xander was back in the lounge room. "Buffy, she's not there. The room's empty."

While Xander and Buffy were both looking into the empty bedroom, Willow was over on the other side of town in a chemistry laboratory at the University of Sunnydale with a rat in a cage at her feet and a bunch of old magic texts around her.I'm going to fix everything, she thought to herself!

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 1:33 am

Okay, here' s the next bit..

Forgiveness - Part 7

Anya was surprised at how well Tara was doing. She'd only excused herself seven times in four hours to go and have a cry in the bathroom. And although each time, the tears had lasted for at least fifteen minutes, Anya still thought that was pretty good for someone who was suffering as much as Tara clearly was. If I had my powers back.. thought Anya as she glanced over at a red-eyed Tara. who was packing orders. No, who am i kidding? I couldn't even hurt Willow if I had my powers back. I know she loves Tara and I'm sure she's suffering even more than Tara is.

Over in the chemistry laboratory at Sunnydale University, Willow was deep in concentration. Okay, she thought. The mandrake root is the last ingredient.
She bent down and looked into the cage with the rat in it. Okay Amy, I am going to try and fix you up. And then that's it for me. And then I'm going to need you to do a favour for me. Tara baby, I'm trying for us okay honey.
The rat in the cage looked up at Willow.

Back at the Magic Box, Tara told Anya that she was just heading to the toilet for a second. Anya just nodded politely at Tara. Tara felt that Anya was being very restrained by not commenting about her frequent trips to the bathroom. Maybe she hadn't noticed? Or maybe she was just a lot more sensitive than most of the scoobies realised.

As Tara washed her face with water, she thought again about Willow. What happened to you Willow? I know you better than I know myself. I trusted you more than I have ever trusted anyone and I need you more than I've ever needed anyone. If you could just stay away from the magic.. If only I could trust you again.

Back in the chemistry laboratory Willow was chanting as she dabbed a potion on the rat, which she was holding in her hands. It was quite a difficult task, given that rats had a tendency to bite and could tend to be aggressive. And Amy had been quite aggressive, even as a human!

Several minutes later, Willow was thinking that her spell had failed. Amy was still in rat form and nothing at all at happened.

When all of a sudden - the rat glowed a strange bright red colour and a startled Willow dropped it to the floor. The rat headed towards the locked door of the laboratory but something radical was happening to it. Amy was reverting back to her human shape. A shocked Willow sat back and watched the transformation.

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 1:50 am

Forgiveness - Part 8

Being the well-organised person that she was, Willow had taken some spare clothes with her to the chemistry laboratory. A shivering Amy pulled them on.

"So tell me this again" said Amy. "I turned myself into a rat? Why would I do that?" Willow ran through the whole story of Amy turning herself into a rat again. Amy didn't seem to have very clear memories of being a rat, only a few flashes.

Just as well thought Willow, guiltily remembering how she and Tara had sometimes gotten so carried about with passion that they had forgotten to cover over Amy's cage.

"Amy, I'm going to have to ask you for a favour." Amy looked over at Willow. " What sort of favour?"

Meanwhile, over at the Summers house, Buffy and Xander were getting seriously worried about Willow. "Look, I know she seemed to be in a better frame of mind last night Xander, but i still don't like her wandering around on her own in this sort of state."

"Hey Buffy" said Xander raising his hands in front of him. "I am in complete agreement with you. What's say I give the Magic Box a call and see if Anya's heard anything. Maybe Will's tried to contact Tara."

At the Magic Box Tara answered the phone. "Hey Xander. Anya's just with a customer. Can I pass on a message." Xander coughed. "Ummm, no, no. It's okay, Just get her to call me when she gets the chance if you can."

"Sure" said Tara. The conversation made her feel very worried. Her thoughts once again turned to Willow. Oh god. I hope nothing's happened to her.

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 2:09 am

Okay everyone, here's the next part of my story. I might call it a night and, if anyone is interested, post some more of this story tomorrow, which is about twelve hours.
I'm thinking there will probably be about six more parts (maybe more, depending on just what sort of make-up scene people are wanting.


Tara glanced over at Anya, who was speaking very softly into the phone. Tara could still make out some of her words though. "Very thoughtless... knows we'll all be worried... Poor Tara... worried sick and something about a cute cookie-wookie face."

Tara felt worried. Usually if Willow was in any sort of trouble she felt it. And she didn't feel it now. But perhaps their breakup had severed the connection between them...

Tara didn't get to think much more before Anya came over towards her. "I'm just going to buy some ... milk because we need some more. I will be back in half an hour. You'll take good care of the money right, Tara? I'm trusting you with the money."

Tara was definitely worried now. Anya was terrible at lying. She usually didn't do it very often, simply saying whatever popped into her head. And she was definitely lying about the milk. Besides, getting milk would take 5 minutes at the most. And also, Anya was leaving her with the money. Something major must be happening.

Without really thinking a forlorn Willow walked back to the Summers house the way she usually did. Through the park, by the Magic Box and across another couple of blocks to the right.

But just at Willow walked past the Magic Box, Tara happened to be staring out the window. Willow! she thought. And although Tara hadn'd spoken out loud, Willow stopped in her tracks and looked straight up at Tara and their eyes met.

Tara dashed out of the shop without really thinking. "Willow, everyone's worried about you. Xander rung up and pretended that he wasn't ringing up about you but I know he was and now I think Anya's gone out looking for you and ...."

Tara stopped talking and looked closely at Willow. "Willow. What did you do.?"

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby WiggleStick » Sun Nov 18, 2001 2:39 am

Just wanted to let u know what a great fic this is. Please keep going.
WiggleStick
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby delany » Sun Nov 18, 2001 3:30 am

fabulous fic...
although y you going to sleep? theres no need for sleep.. i function perfectly well with no sleep...
get back here for more fic!! more dammit!!!
sorry.. but you;ve no one to blame but yourself for writing such a great fic

del

delany
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 3:50 am

Hey, thanks WiggleStick and delany too

Can't sleep, so here's the next part

Forgiveness - Part 10

Tara was looking at the top of Willow's head. "Willow" she said, louder this time. "What have you done?"
"Tara" Willow started.
"No, something's missing. I can see it in your aura. You've done something. Had something taken from you."

"I can't do magic anymore" said Willow calmly.

Tara stood stunned. "Something's taken away your ability to do magic?"
"No" said Willow. "I've done it. I thought that I could make things better with magic but i only made everything worse." She smiled bitterly. I conjured away the most magical thing in my life and I can't stand the thought of having that type of power anymore."

Tara was obviously deep in thought. "But to do that... You need another witch to remove your magical abilities. You've got to open up a temporal fold and you can't do that by yourself. Who..." she trailed off.

"Amy" Willow said in answer to the unfinished question. "I finally de-ratted Amy. I took her to the chem lab this morning, tried that chant that we found in the severitas book with the potion from the
geritosi book and it worked. And then I got her to help me get rid of my powers, seeing as i obviously can't handle them."

"Willow, you love doing magic. Are you sure you know what you've done.?"

Willow looked at Tara. "Magic is nothing compared to what we had. I would give anything to have you back again Tara..
She looked sadly at Tara.

Tara stared back at Willow. "Willow .. I."

Before Tara could finish, the squealing of car tyres interupted her. Buffy jumped out of the backseat before Xander had even finished parking the car. "Willow, we've all been so worried. Where have you been? Are you okay? And why didn't you leave a note?"

Xander and Anya got out the car much slower than Buffy and walked over towards Willow and Tara as well. "Hey Buff" said Xander, "Do you think these two...I mean maybe we should leave them?"

Somewhat unusually, Anya was simply standing silently behind Xander. "Oh god, yeah, sorry" said Buffy. "Will, we can talk later okay. You'll be home tonight, right?"
Willow nodded at Buffy. "I'm sorry Buffy, we can talk later."

Buffy, Anya and Xander headed into the Magic Box. Willow and Tara stood awkwardly for a couple of seconds. "Tara, I'd really like to talk to you. Do you think we could maybe do that sometime?"

Tara looked at Willow for a second without answering. Oh Willow, she thought. What am I going to do with you... "Yes, we really do need to talk Willow. Why don't I come over to Buffy's later tonight, about eight o'clock? I think there's a few things that need to be said." Tara's tone was neutral and didn't reveal much about what she was intending to say.

Willow was happy just to have a chance to talk to Tara, although she desperately hoped Tara wasn't going to tell her that she'd given her powers up for nothing, that things between them could never be fixed. "Okay Tara, I'll see you tonight then."

Tara turned and walked back into the shop and Willow turned and headed towards the Summers' house. They both had a lot to think about.

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 4:09 am

Still can't sleep - but please forgive any typos...

Forgiveness - Part 11

After having a chat with Buffy and saying sorry in thirty different ways for not explaining what she was doing with Amy, Willow headed up to Dawn's bedroom.

"Dawn... Dawny. I know you're in there. Come on. I just want to talk to you..."
Without warning, the door opened. Dawn's voice wasn't raised but there was real anger in her tone. "Why did you do it Willow? Make Tara leave? I need her!"

"Dawn, I'm so sorry. I thought I had a way to make things easier, I didn't understand what I was doing and I went too far and now I've lost her." Willow's voice cracked onthe last part of the sentence and this seemed to reach Dawn.

"Willow" she said, "you have to fix things, you have make things right. I know you love each other, I know you love each other like.." Dawn paused, obviously trying to think of a desperately in-love couple. She failed. "I don't know anyone in love the way you two are. I sometimes see you look at each other and it's like there isn't even anyone else in the world for either one of you at that moment." What you guys have is so special and amazing.."

Willow smiled at Dawn's comments. It seemed like Dawn was prepared to at least partially forgive Willow for what she'd done. Willow didn't know if she'd ever forgive herself though.

Time seemed to drag for Willow after her conversation with Dawn. Tara had said eight and it was still only 6.30.

Over at Xander and Anya's, Tara was perched nervously on the couch.
"So, you're going to talk to Willow, huh?" Anya got right to the point.
"Yes" Tara said. "Only I have absolutely no idea what I am going to say to her."
Xander smiled sympathetically at Tara. "I guess just say what you're feeling and what's in your heart."

Tara smiled back at Xander. "I will. But there's a lot in my heart." Tara excused herself to go and have a shower.

Over at the Summers' house, Willow sat in her empty bedroom, looking anxiously at the clock. Come on Tara, I need to see you baby.

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 4:55 am

And some more Although I think this is going to be it for tonight - better get some sleep - plus I have to give some serious thought to the final five or so parts of this story. Thanks everyone for your kind comments and i will post more tomorrow.

Forgiveness - Part 11

A very nervous Willow heard a car pull up outside and a few minutes later a knock at the front door. She looked at the clock. Eight o'clock exactly. Please let that be Tara. A part of Willow sort of doubted whether Tara would even turn up. And Willow couldn't even blame her.

But no, she heard conversation downstairs and then footstepts on the stairs. And then a few seconds later, a knock on the door. Willow sprung up and opened it.

Tara stood there. "Hey." Willow looked up at her beautiful face. "Hey to you too."

Oh god, she thought, was that too jaunty? Don't want to sound like I'm really, really happy. Like I think it's a great thing that I violated her mind!

Willow's internal babbling was interrupted by Tara saying, "Will .. Willow, can I come in.?" "Oh sure, sorry" Willow stepped out of Tara's way and Tara came into the room.

Willow went and perched on the bottom half of the bed and after a second's pause Tara followed her and sat on the top half of the bed.

Tara surprised herself by starting to talk right away. "Willow, you can't imagine how you made me feel. What you did to me hurt me more than what Glory did or the lies my family told me." She stopped for a second but before Willow could respond she started again.

"I trusted you like i've never trusted anyone and then you betrayed my trust - you thought you could reach in and alter my memories."

"Oh Tara, I am so, so sorry for what I did to you. For what I did to everyone. I thought i knew what i was doing but i was so out of control and now i've lost you.... thrown away what we had and it was so amazing and so wonderful...." Willow had to stop as she'd started to cry on the last bit of the sentence.

There were tears in Tara's eyes as well. "I still love you Willow. I will never ever love anyone the way I love you. And I want you so much but how can I ever trust you?" Tara was crying in earnest now as well.

After Tara had finished talking, Willow stepped off the bed and kneeled down in front of Tara. "Tara baby, I will do anything I can to regain your trust, even if i have to spend the rest of my life trying. I love you in a way i never imagined i could love anyone. There will never, eve be anyone else for me. Please, please, please tell me that we can try again."

Tara looked at Willow. "Willow, you are a part of me, you're with me always. I so want for us to have another chance but it's going to have to be on my terms and its going to have to be very, very slow. I know you love me. I can feel that. But you're going to have to prove to me that I can trust you."

Willow, who was still kneeling on the ground in front of Tara, looked up at her.
"Tara, we can take this as slowly as you like. If you just give me this chance, I promise you with all my heart, I will prove you can trust me."

Tara looked at Willow and smiled. "Really, really slowly okay. I can't move back in but i am willing to try very small steps. I won't promise you anything but i really want to try."

Willow's heart felt like it would burst. Her beautful, beautful girl was going to let her try again. She reached up and grabbed Tara's hand. "Thankyou."

Willow and Tara didn't have the chance to say too much more. Xander and Anya were returning to pick Tara in a few minutes and besides, the conversation had been quite draining for the both of them. They sat quietly in the room waiting for the sound of Xander's car. And then it was outside and all too soon for Willow's liking, Tara was speeding away from her.

But Willow allowed herself to feel optimistic. Tara was going to let her try to make it up to her. And Willow was going to make the most of the opportunity.

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby KittyKo » Sun Nov 18, 2001 5:30 am

miss_spangles really nice!!! Will there be anymore?
KittyKo
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 5:34 am

Definitely Kittyko- I'm going to write some more tomorrow . Willow still has a lot to make up for and they've got to rediscover each other again- I think there will be maybe another six parts and this is going to be really good to write. And they've got to have the racy scene as well all to come. So thanks for your nice comment
miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby minion » Sun Nov 18, 2001 8:26 am

That was so cool, I love it, I can't wait for the next part!!!

------------------
I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love

minion
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Corto » Sun Nov 18, 2001 8:37 am

what a brilliant fanfic! I loved it and I'm looking forward to more to come :
Corto
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby scylla » Sun Nov 18, 2001 12:03 pm

This is great!
scylla
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Rane » Sun Nov 18, 2001 12:23 pm

i cannot wait! it's morning here already (LA) so where's the rest?!
Rane
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Wiccagrrl » Sun Nov 18, 2001 1:33 pm

This is absolutely wonderful- just what we all need in these trying times Thanks, and...more, please.
Wiccagrrl
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 2:37 pm

Thanks everyone You're all really sweet. I'm on Australian time so sorry about the weird times that i post more. Anyway, here's the next bit. It will only be short but I will post a fair bit more tonight Australian time, which is in about 12 hours.

Forgiveness - Part 12

Two Weeks later

Tara was in a good mood as she walked away from the main library at the University of Sunnydale. Night was falling and the stars were out. Things between her and Willow were moving slowly but were going well. She could tell that Willow was extremely sorry and that she was really trying to regain Tara's trust.

Last night they'd even had a bit of a date. It was just like starting over. They'd gone to see a movie and then afterwards they'd had coffee at the Espresso Pump. And when the time came to say goodnight, they'd both looked at each other, not sure what to do. And then Tara had moved closer to Willow and had gently kissed on her goodnight. She couldn't help it - Willow had looked so adorable, just standing them uncertain about what to do. And although the kiss had only lasted for a second, it showed that the electricity between them was as powerful and magical as ever. Tara smiled. To think that something that had only lasted a couple of seconds could be in her thoughts all day.

Things were starting to get really good between her and Willow again...

Suddenly, Tara was shaken out of her pleasant thoughts with a jolt. Something was wasn't right. Instantly she knew. It was Willow and she was in trouble! Tara stopped moving and concentrated hard. Two seconds later she broke out into a run.

Only two blocks away, Willow had been as deep in pleasant thoughts as Tara had been. The quick kiss last night had been so sweet and Willow knew that the connection between them was as strong as it had ever been. She knew Tara was trying to forgive her and she in turn was trying really, really hard to earn Tara's trust.

Unfortunately, Willow was too far into her daydreams about Tara to notice that something was trailing her. Something dark and nasty.

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby aladdin » Sun Nov 18, 2001 3:10 pm

I like this..a lot. Just what I needed after all the negative W/T break-up vibes. You are doing a great job but please, don't make it too slow..I love complications.
aladdin
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby miss_spangles » Sun Nov 18, 2001 3:25 pm

Thanks aladdin, that's really nice of you. Anyway, here's another bit. Rest later tonight Australian time (its morning over here now

Forgiveness - Part 13

As Willow turned a corner, she heard the footsteps behind her for the first time. Before she could turn around properly to look and see what was behind her, something grabbed her from behind. She instantly knew! Vampire!

Willow struggled against the creature that had grabbed her so tightly but found herself powerless. It was too strong. And then it spoke.
"Well, what have we here? Some fresh blood"

Willow was almost speechless both with fright and with anger at herself. How could I be so stupid? Walking around at night, no stake, no-one knows where i am. God!

Perhaps it was a little strange, but a part of Willow also really resented possibly meeting her end at the hands of some vampire! Afterall, she'd gone up against heaps of vampires, okay, so maybe Buffy had helped out, but she'd definitely killed vampires before and she'd even gone up against a god. And now it looked like this everyday lone Sunnydale vampire might be the one to finish her off!

She was trying to put up a good fight but it didn't seem to be having much of an effect on the vampire.

"Enough already. Stalking you has made me really thirsty. I'm going to enjoy this." He bent down over Willow's neck but he didn't get much further.

"Willow - oh god! Willow"!

The vampire spun around, still clutching Willow, and saw a frantic Tara. "Two for the price of one then" he snarled.

"I - don't - think - so" said Tara as she
began to chant. The vampire didn't like the sound of this and dropped Willow onto the ground and walked over towards Tara. "What are you, some kind of witch?" Don't think I've ever had a witch before. This could be real interesting."

Willow looked up from her vantage point on the ground and saw the vamp heading over towards Tara. "Tara - no!"

Before the vampire could get too close to Tara, Willow jumped on his back. Outraged, he spun around. "You stupid little girl! You're really starting to get me mad."

The vamp bent over Willow, prepared to finally finish her off. But it was too late. Tara finished her chanting and a ball of sunshine burst out over the two girls and the vampire. He was dust.

A shaken Willow ran over to Tara. "Tara honey, are you okay?" Tara looked pretty frightened too. "I should be asking you that - he looked pretty strong ..." Tara trailed off and pulled Willow into a hug. "Let's get out of here Will."

Half-an-hour later Willow and Tara were sitting in Willow's bedroom at Buffy's house. The room they'd shared less than a month ago. "Willow. We need to talk about what you've given up. About how you can't do magic anymore. That vampire, he could have killed you, he could have .. You can't defend yourself anymore."

Willow sighed. "I know. But I made such a mess of everything, I just don't know if I want to have that sort of power anymore... I want to have you instead..."

Tara quietly interupted her. "Will, having that sort of power doesn't mean that you have to use it, you know? And I'm not sure that you've done the right thing giving up something like that."

She stopped for a moment, trying to think of how to express something that had been bothering her ever since she'd found out Willow had given up her magical powers. "It seems like maybe you've given up your powers instead of dealing with the hard parts of having those powers. I think maybe you need to learn how to have the powers but how to be responsible with them."

Willow looked up at Tara. "Are you saying I should get my powers back? After what I did to you?"

[This message has been edited by miss_spangles (edited November 18, 2001).]

miss_spangles
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby wiltar » Sun Nov 18, 2001 4:15 pm

OMG!!!!! I LOVE THIS STORY!!! I hope you will post the next parts soon! And please, write more fanfic!

Patricia

------------------
"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"

wiltar
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby xita » Sun Nov 18, 2001 4:36 pm

oh sigh if only

Thank you miss spangles! Happy endings. I really need that.

xita
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Puff » Sun Nov 18, 2001 7:18 pm

Read it all in one sitting so far and it's really good. I look forward to the next part Miss Spangles
Puff
 


My first fanfic - Forgiveness

Postby Warduke » Sun Nov 18, 2001 7:36 pm

Great fic miss_spangles, thanks.

Warduke
 

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