Short FF--"After Glow"

[RomanceJunky]

Okay, you guy's...I've never tried this here before, but what the hell, here goes nothin'...I've wondered several times what Tara's thought's must have been at the end of OMWF. It's obvious that she went back home with Willow, but what must she have been thinking all that long, long night...

AFTER GLOW

I really don't know what to say to her. I just feel numb all over...but she's in so much pain right now, I just feel I must push my own concerns aside and be there for her.
My God, I can't believe we brought Buffy back from heaven! If that thought is like a nightmare to us, what must it be like for her? To have known Paradise and then lost it--pulled back to this plane by the very people she loved and trusted most in this world...
But I can't think about that now. Willow needs me. My poor Baby. She tortured herself for months over Buffy's death, convinced she was in eternal torment in an unknown hell demention. As I hold her in my arms in the quite of our room, I am reminded of the many nights she woke-up screaming from some nightmare, having seen her best friend enslaved in hell. Then, as now, her body would be racked by sobs and I would hold her, just as I'm doing now, whispering endearments in her ear, and stroking her hair, doing my best to defeat her torment with my love for her, but now...
My God, Baby! How could you do this to me?
No, I can't think about that right now. Right now, my Will is devestated, and she needs me to be strong. Maybe some good will come out of this. Maybe now she'll see that magic is not the by-all and end-all that she thought it was. Maybe her regrets about the reserection spell will make her regret other spells as well...like the one she put on me...was it only one? No, I can't think about that now. I've never seen her so broken.
I don't know where all the others went. home I guess. Buffy disappered and so did Spike. Dawn followed us home and went straight to bed and Willow...my poor Willow hasn't uttered a word since we left The Bronze. I got dressed for bed and Willow still hadn't moved from where I released her when we reached our room. I helped her change and get in bed and she has clung to me ever since then in such a desparate way. I wonder if she knows I found out about her spell? She had to know I was upset with her before we left The Magic Box, but even if she did, I believe Buffy's anouncement completely over-shadowed it.
We'll have to talk. I can't let that just go.
But for now it will have to wait. For now she needs me more than I need answers from her. For now, she needs me to be strong for her. For now, she needs me to be here for her. For now, she needs me to love her. For now, she needs me. Goddess, I love her so much! Please grant me the strength to stand with her now...and up to her if I must.

Tara McClay

[miss_spangles]

I think you've captured what must have been going through Tara's head really well. So very sad But you wrote it well

[Rane]

nicely put. i've wondered about that night and how tara must have felt. but you wrote her perfectly, thinking about others feelings over her own. good job!

[Wiccagrrl]

Wow, very powerful, and very well written. Thanks, RJ.

[xita]

You know that was such a tough night for Tara, you could see that conflict on the show.

[mollyig]

RomanceJunky

I think your fic answers my questions as to how Tara didn't say anything to Willow about the spell until Tabula Rasa.

Thanks! And you should definitely write more.

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"But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. "
W. B. Yeats

[RomanceJunky]

Thanks for the wonderful feedback! Tara is such a great character, so full of caring and love...how can other people not see it?

Willow is OUT OF HER MIND to risk her love...

The Junky...you guys ROCK!

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"Next year...shits gonna go down...her relationship with Tara will continue---but the course of True Love is never easy."
Joss Whedon-"OUT" magazine, August 2001

[nika]

That was great, I can totally see Tara going through those exact emotions at that time.

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"Eat lot's of applesauce, preferably fed to you by attractive young lesbians." Amber Benson

[Puff]

Nicely written RJ, poor Tara really has been put through hell but she still wants to be there for Willow.

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Bloody hell, sodding, limey, shagging, knickers, bollocks...oh God...I'm English

[Hanki]

wow, that was really good, great writing!!

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Me: And before you say anything i is not drinking!
My friend:You is not is you?
Me: You know my grammer does not resemble Earth grammer.
My Friend: Right, cuz on Earth it's spelt 'grammar.'

[mariacomet]

quote:

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Originally posted by RomanceJunky:
For now she needs me more than I need answers from her. For now, she needs me to be strong for her. For now, she needs me to be here for her. For now, she needs me to love her. For now, she needs me. Goddess, I love her so much! Please grant me the strength to stand with her now...and up to her if I must.

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I think this perfectly captures the mix of compassion and strength that is why I love Tara. She is rendered here as yet again putting others above herself, even when she clear is in turnmoil. My Dear RJ, I am very touched.

MC (YT)

[This message has been edited by mariacomet (edited December 26, 2001).]quote:

[RomanceJunky]

Thank You MC...I can't begin to say what your opinion means to me. I'm deeply honored.

RJ...(YW)

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"Next year...shits gonna go down...her relationship with Tara will continue---but the course of True Love is never easy."
Joss Whedon-"OUT" magazine, August 2001