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Fic: Dutch...

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Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Tue Dec 11, 2001 10:16 pm

ok, i feel like a dork.... called it dutch cause i couldn't think of anything. it really doesn't really have a title i just thought dutch sounded cool. right, garfield?


Title: (I don’t know yet)
Rating: don’t know yet. Starting off PG… never know where this is headed though.
Spoilers: Yeah, season 6 up to Wrecked.
Summary: Dawn’s Sweet Sixteenth. And YES is has to do with Willow and Tara. But not yet. Takes place about a year from now. Willow’s well on her way to redemption, she and tara are not back together.
Notes: I’m making Dawn a May baby. Or not a baby cause she was never born but you know what I mean. (i know we celebrated her b-day in buffyverse bvut i cant remember, or was it buffy's b-day? lol. i dont know.)
Disclaimers: usual. Don’t own ‘em, never will…

********

“Rodney?”

“Checked.”

“Rosie?”

“Checked.”

“Tom?”

“He’ll be out of town. But he gave me my present already.”

“And what was that?” Buffy asked with a smirk. “I haven’t seen any presents laying around.”

“It’s not one of the laying around kinda presents.” Dawn tried to look everywhere but her sister sitting acorss from her in the dining room.

“Oh, really?”

“It was a gift certificate to Bloomies. Relax.” Dawn laughed.

“Okay.” Buffy read down her list. “Ummm… Last one. Terry?”

“Checked.”

“Wow, Dawn, looks like everyone’s RSVP’d for your sweet sixteen. We’re going to have-“

“Not everyone.”

Buffy knew exactly whom her little sister was thinking about. “Look, I’m sure she’ll come. It’s your sweet sixteen.”

“We haven’t seen her in two weeks, Buffy. Not even a phone call.”

“Well, you know... I thought she emailed you yesterday.”

Dawn nodded. “But she didn’t mention the party.”

“I’m sure she has a lot of things to do. Graduation is coming up, she moved into a new place, she has finals, and…” Buffy gave up once she saw her sister was buying any of it. “I’m just trying to make you feel better.” She sighed.

“I know.”

“I’m sure she’ll show. She loves you.”

“She probably still thinks Willow…”Dawn didn’t finish her sentence.

“Maybe.”

“Should I tell her?”

“No.”

“But-“

“No.” Buffy stressed. “Don’t be trying to play matchmaker again. You remember what happened last time.”

“Fine.” the teen crossed her hands over her chest.

Buffy sighed. “So… We should talk about the dinner menu because I’m sure not all the guest will appreciate hot dogs. Soy hot dogs at that.”

*******

“What can we get her?” Xander asked exasperated. “I don’t know what to get her, Ahn.” He paced back and forth in the main room or the Magic Box.

“Who?” Anya asked absentmindedly as she glanced over at the financial records of the shop.

“Dawn! She’s sixteen. Well, she’ll be sixteen Friday and I’ve never been a sixteen year old girl so I don’t know what I’d want if I was a sixteen year old girl and I’m sure you don’t remember your sixteenth birthday-“

Anya looked at him with her mouth open. He never listened to her! “It was the one with the bunnies. I told you about that! Or was that one hundred and sixteenth? You’re right, I don’t remember.” She withdrew as her gaze returned to the columns of numbers in front of her.

“What are you two freaking out about now?” the redhead asked as she entered the shop.

“Dawn. Presents. At a loss here.”

“Right. Little Dawnie’s turning sixteen, huh?”

“Willow, you were a sixteen year old girl once, what did you want?” Xander asked.

“At sixteen? A date.” Willow set her laptop down on the Magic Box’s research table and booted up.

“Well, she can’t have that. Xander’s my husband!” Anya pushed the books over to Willow.

“I wasn’t saying-“

Anya cut Willow off. “I’m having problems here.” She pointed. “This balance does not equal this balance. It’s distressing me and I’m beginning to hyperventilate.”

Willow looked over at Xander who gave her a sheepish grin. He dug his hands deeper into his pockets as he scrunched up his shoulders. His stare suddenly changed when the little bell on the front door rang.

“Anya?!” Tara asked as she entered the shop. “Hey, Xander-”

Xander’s eyes widened, Willow’s heart started racing and Tara froze in place when she registered the redhead in the room. Everyone in the shop tensed up, everyone except Anya.

“Hi, Tara!” Anya happily greeted the blonde, ignoring the awkward moment. She stood up and mentioned, “I have your present. We received it yesterday.” She walked over to Xander. “It’s in down in the basement. Xander, help?” She asked as she grabbed his arm and pulled him with her.

Tara’s eyes remained fixed on the girl in front of her. The redhead had not turned around to look at her yet. Her eyes remained glued to the computer screen.

Tara crossed her arms over her chest nervously. She certainly had not expected Willow to be in the shop tonight. Didn’t she have evening classes on Tuesdays? She rolled her eyes when she realized that was a semester ago. Or was it two?

Willow wanted to turn around and look at Tara. She wanted to say something. Instead she quickly let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. Willow tried to find something to do with her fidgeting hands. Giving up she rested them on the laptop.

Willow waited two minutes. Then three. ‘What is taking them so long’, she wondered.

*****

“Ahn, you can’t do this!” Xander whispered to his wife.

“They need to talk, Xander! You remember what happened on our wedding?!”

“Yes, but-”

“Oh, be quiet and let them talk.”

******

Tara’s eyes wandered around the shop. She was extremely uncomfortable and didn’t realize how bad her hands were shaking until it was too late. She accidentally toppled a candle onto the floor.

******

“They’re throwing things at each other?!” Xander asked confused.

“No,” Anya replied from her hidden vantage point, “Tara dropped a candle. If it’s bent she’s paying for it!” she whispered back.

******

The noise startled Willow and without even thinking she rushed over to the blonde, “Are you ok?” she asked reaching out her hand to help her.

Tara had since bent down to pick up the candle, “F-fine. S-sorry.” She replied without looking at Willow.

“No, Tara, please…” Willow retracted her hand. She couldn’t stand to think she was the cause for her nervous stuttering.

Tara slowly stood up. She held her head low and crossed her arms again.

“Tara…” Willow whispered as she stared at her.

“What?” The blonde’s voice was so low it could hardly be heard.

But what could Willow say? She looked at Tara’s face hidden behind some of her silky hair and sighed. She turned around and walked back to the table. A look of defeat on her face.

*****

“It didn’t work. Now can we please spare them all this?”

Anya shook her head not understanding, “I don’t get it. They’re women. Women love to talk. Why cant these two talk?”

“There’s a lot things that get in the way of talking sometimes.”

“But it doesn’t make sense.” Anya said as she walked out into the main room.

Tara’s eyes lifted once she heard the ex-demon’s footsteps. “I, uh, I-“ She handed Anya the candle. “It’s a little bent. I’ll-”

Anya just smiled sadly, “Don’t worry about it. Here’s Dawn’s gift.” She said handing the package to Tara. “Thank you for shopping at the Magic Box.” She nodded with her usual enthusiasm.

“Thanks.” Tara quickly glanced over to Willow and Xander sitting somberly on the table. “Bye.” She told the shopkeeper and headed out.

******

“You ok, Will?” Xander asked concerned about the earlier events. Willow and Tara were usually courteous during the rare Scooby meetings Tara attended since their break up but he noticed a different atmosphere this evening.

“No.” she replied typing away on her computer. Her furrow brow was at full force.

“If you need to talk I-“

“Anya!” the redhead suddenly called out.

“What?!” Anya asked, running scared.

“These numbers are all off. What did you do?”

“Me?! I’m not inputting these numbers into the computer. If something’s wrong with the numbers it’s your fault. My counting of the money is fine!”

“No, you’re missing, like, a whole week.”

“What week?”

“The week of- Oh.”

“Oh? What oh?”

“Nothing, I figured it out.”

“What ‘oh’, Willow?” She asked a bit frantic.

“The week, um, that you were on your honeymoon and, um, something happened here and we, uh, couldn’t open the shop?” She mouthed apprehensively as a tiny grin spread over her lips.

“Oh, that week.” Anya said crossing her arms and glaring at Willow, “Yes, I remember what happened that week.”

“You weren’t here! How could you possibly remember?!”

“I heard it all from Tara, missy!”

“What?!” Willow stood up. “You know?!” She looked over at Xander. “And you know?”

Xander held up his hands. “We all know, Will.”

“What?!!!” Willow shrieked. “She told you?”

“Well, you didn’t give me an explanation!” Anya yelled back. “I needed to know what made a hole in my shop!”

“Ok, man’s ears starting to hurt here from all the girly shouting.” Xander stood up holding his hands clasped over his ears. “Look, Willow, its no big deal really.” He tried to amend the situation.

“No big deal? No big deal?! Xander, because of her I lost a week’s worth of sales.” His wife countered.

“Me?! No way sister, you are not pinning this down on me! It was me and Tara. We did it! Go shout at her too.”

“No more shouting. What’s done is done. It’s over.” Xander voiced.

Willow sat back down and huffed, she looked like she was about to cry. “It’s not over, Xander. I don’t think it’ll ever be over.”

******

TBC.....


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TARA- We're forgetting about the troll. Let's pay attention to the troll.

[This message has been edited by Rane (edited December 12, 2001).]

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby tommo » Tue Dec 11, 2001 10:21 pm

Interesting tension you've set up here. Poor Willow, poor Tara. Please make it happy.

------------------
"You evil bitch troll from hell!" ~ Patsy Stone

tommo
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Tue Dec 11, 2001 10:57 pm

quote:
Originally posted by tommo:
Please make it happy.


ruth, this is me you're talking to! I who demands snugglies in every fic! lol... here's part two... It's a short three parter! or amybe four but it's still going to be a short one...

*****

As Tara walked back to her apartment she couldn’t help but think about the last time that she had seen Willow. It was two weeks ago while out with Dawn.

“I like your new apartment.” The teenager mentioned between sips of her chocolate milkshake.

“Well, it’s better than the dorm room but still doesn’t feel like home yet, ya know?”

“Cause a place without Willow is not home, right?”

Tara knew Dawn knew. She knew all the Scoobs knew what had happened. But just because what happened happened didn’t mean… Tara changed the subject. “So, how’s school? Cheerleading?”

Dawn also let it go. “I’m quitting.”

“Why?”

“It gets in the way of after school shopping and milkshakes.”

“We can schedule around it. I’m sure-“

“Nah. It makes me all sweaty.”

“Dawn, you need extracurricular activities in your high school transcripts. Colleges look at that.”

“Colleges? I’m in tenth grade.”

“It’s never too late to start thinking about going away to college.”

“Going away?”

Tara realized she might have said something wrong. “O-or staying here. UC Dale is-“

“Are you leaving? Are you going to grad school somewhere else?” Dawn asked out of the blue.

“No. Dawn, I just got an apartment. I’m not going anywhere.”

“So? People move into places and then leave.” Dawn said opening a very old wound.

“I’m-“

“No!” Dawn pounded her hand on the table. The milkshake shook. People began to stare. “You can’t leave. Not now, not ever. I need you. We need you. Willow… Tara, please.”

Tara smiled sadly at the teenager and sighed. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise.”

“I promise.” Dawn held out her pinky finger and motioned to Tara. Tara pinky swore it. “So… Kirstie- She still giving you grief?”

Dawn rolled her eyes, “It’s like she’s Cordelia and I’m Willow.” Her blue eyes wandered behind the blonde, “Willow. And…”

Tara was a bit mystified by her behavior and so she turned around, trailing Dawn’s line of sight. And there was Willow. Willow smiling. Willow walking. Willow holding hands with another girl.

Tara quickly turned back to the table. She stared at the full strawberry shake in front of her.

“Who is that?” Dawn absentmindedly asked, shocked by the sighting.

“I don’t kn-know.”

“Tara, wait, no.”

But it was too late. Tara took off without another word.

*****

Tara still felt the heartache from that day. But she knew she really didn’t have a right to feel that way anymore. Willow was not her girlfriend. She hadn’t been hers for over a year. Just because six months ago, after Xander’s wedding… It had been a mistake and she knew it. They both knew.

‘A marvelous mistake.’ she smiled downheartedly.

She then giggled softly remembering their scheming to get out of the reception as it neared midnight, and how the Magic Box was the only place they could think of where they would not be interrupted. It wasn’t that they didn’t want the others to know what was going on, it was just they wanted to share this with each other. Just each other.

That night Willow had touched something inside her and made her feel alive again. And she knew Willow had felt the same way. But it left them unhappy and confused the next morning. And the day after that, and the one after that. Not to mention leaving the Magic Box in shambles after their final flaming O’s tore through the shop.

It was six months later now and they still hadn’t talked about it. Just typical chit chat during some Scooby meetings, one or two sentences, and then each looked away. However, after that sighting two weeks ago Tara knew there was nothing to talk about anymore. That night had simply been old lovers loving each other for one night and one night only. Reconnecting and disconnecting. Nothing more was asked. Nothing more was said.

*****

“Earth to Willow.”

“What?” The redhead’s trance was broken.

“What happy place was that? And can I join in the fun? Unless it’s, you know, a happy place with you and- Well, you know…”

Willow shook her head. “No, I was just- Where’s Anya?”

“Downstairs.”

“I should go home. I’ll finish this tomorrow. Okay?”

“Willow, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re all distracted lately.”

“I kissed…” Willow couldn’t finish.

“Will, we discussed this already. We all know about you and Tara and that night.”

“It wasn’t Tara.”

“What?!”

“Oh, no, that night yes. Oh god yes,” She smiled widely. Just as quickly she frowned. “But that’s not who I’m talking about.”

“Buffy?” Xander asked wide-eyed.

“Eew! Gross! No!”

“What are you talking about then? Who?”

“There’s this girl… Debbie. She’s in my Poetry class.” She nervously glanced at Xander. “She’s really nice and, um, pretty. She’s smart. But there was nothing there… I… Xander, if after three years I still feel this way about Tara. It’s still so strong… I’m never going to love someone else again. Ever.” Tears were threatening to escape. “I’m still in love with her and it’s killing me.”

Xander quickly moved over and held the redhead in his arms as she began to cry openly. “I don’t know what to say, Will.”

“I can’t do this.” She hoarsely voiced.

“Yes, you can. You’re strong, Willow. Stronger than all of us. Except maybe Buffy.”

That got a chuckle from the redhead. After a few moments of silence and just holding Willow gently wiped her tears and took in a deep breath. “I can do this.” She exhaled as she pulled away. She nodded even though she still wasn’t sure of herself.

Xander kissed her forehead. “Yes.”

“And I’d rather see her and have it kill me than not see her at all.”

“Uh… right.” he replied.

“At least I know she’s safe and that maybe one day…”

Xander didn’t know what to say.

******

Tara was still wrapped up in her thoughts as she reached her apartment. When she entered the dark family room she noticed the answering machine blinking. She turned on a lamp whose light glowed dimly throughout the room, and headed straight to it.

“You have one new message… Beep… Hi, it’s me. I got your email. Wrote you back… I just wanted to make sure that you come this Friday. It would mean a lot to me to have my whole family there. I, uh… I’m sorry about everything. See you Friday.”

Tara sighed and sat down on her new couch. It still had that new couch smell to it. Tara rolled her eyes, ‘That darn Febreeze doesn’t work.’. But soon it didn't matter as she began to smell and taste the tears flowing down her face. She leaned down on the couch and cried. She cried herself to sleep again.

*****

TBC....quote:

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby mariacomet » Tue Dec 11, 2001 11:06 pm

Rane,
This is shaping up REALLY really nicely. Lots of angst but you can really feel the love.

mariacomet
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby SciFiAcid » Tue Dec 11, 2001 11:20 pm

Oh Rane. *sniffle* Another good one that I'm hooked on and will be checking for updates every 10 mins!

------------------
"Your tits are the key to your cage." ~ Edina Monsoon

SciFiAcid
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Tue Dec 11, 2001 11:38 pm

and so you should, adrienne. i'm pumping this one out fast.

MC! *hugs*

part three... maybe out of five, still looking at four though...

*****

Willow was nervous. She really didn’t have any reason to be. It wasn’t her birthday or her party so why was she nervous? She was wearing a sleek black dress that reminded her of the prom. This is what the party felt like. Prom. Oh god, and now she was an adult. Was she a chaperone?!

Buffy and Anya were running around everywhere making sure everyone was eating and having a good time. Even Spike and Xander were talking to each other. Things were looking well, no demons were crashing the party, the music was good, and kids were actually dancing. So why did she feel like she wanted to throw up?

“Willow?” Buffy asked as she walked over to the redhead.

“I…” Willow looked so lost.

“Are you ok?”

“I think I’m going to boot.”

“Oh god, why? Were the shrimp not cooked enough?” Buffy panicked.

“No, no, shrimp.” Willow took off running towards the banquet halls’ bathroom.

On her way out the double doors she crashed into another guest. A present fell to the ground and the sound of glass shattering inside the box could be heard.

“Sorry.” Willow squeaked not even looking back. She ran straight to the ladies room.

*****

Dawn ran up to her sister with a group of girls trailing behind her, “She’s not here. She’s not coming.”

Buffy was busy cleaning up some spilt soda. “She’ll come.”

“No, we only have an hour left. She’s not coming.” Dawn suppressed the urge to cry.

Buffy stood up and looked at her sister. “She’ll come.” She said as she hugged her. “I promise.”

Dawn nodded as her gaze turned to a dumbstruck Tara standing by the double doors. She was staring at a box on the floor and then quickly towards the hall outside.

Dawn’s face lit up, “She’s here!”

The teenager hiked up her dress and ran across the room. “Tara!”

“Hey,” Buffy yelled after her, “You’re a lady now!”

Tara smiled at her the instant she saw Dawn. Her arms engulfed the teenager in a hug. “Happy Birthday, sweetie.”

“I’m so glad you came.”

“Wouldn’t miss it. However, your present had a little accident.” She said bending down to pick up the box. She shook it gently to further demonstrate her point.

“What happened?”

“I dropped it. I’m sorry.”

Dawn dismissed it. “As long as you’re here. Oh and guess who’s here…” Dawn’s eyes scanned the party. “Or she was here. I swear Willow was here.”

“I saw her.”

“And…” Dawn asked.

“Dawn.” Tara sadly grinned. “Go have fun and don’t worry about us. Lots of boys are staring over here and I’m sure they’re looking to dance with you.”

“Pshhh, they’re probably staring at the hotness of you. You look beautiful.”

Tara shyly smiled. “You’re the beautiful one.” She lovingly ran her fingers through her hair. “You look so grown up. Now go. I’m going to… Well, I’m going to say hi to everyone.”

“Ok.” Dawn hugged her again and went back to the crowd.

******

Willow knew it was Tara. It had to be. She smelled her, felt her. The electricity was still there. She was now sitting on the sofa in the ladies room trying to calm herself down. She didn’t understand why she was having this panic attack.

She walked over to the sink and splashed some water over her face. She counted to ten and recited her mantra. “Japanese commercials are weird, Japanese commercials are weird…”

******

Tara stood off to the side watching everyone else having fun. Even though she wasn’t participating it was moments like these that she loved. Just watching people. Watching happy people. So rare were the occasions in Sunnydale where nothing evil happened. It was always something or other that never let the Scooby gang rest. She figured the demon world knew if they were to try anything on this night Buffy would certainly have their heads. Literally.

She didn’t see her but felt Willow walking up behind her. She bashfully smiled as she turned around.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Sorry about the crashing into you earlier part.”

“It’s ok. Dawnie’s present is DOA though.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll get you a new one. Whatever it was.” Willow’s eyes took in the incredible beauty in front of her.

Tara’s eyes did the same but she then lowered her eyes. She had so much she wanted to say but couldn’t find the words.

Willow sighed. All she wanted to do was hug her. A simple hug would be enough to hold her over for now.

Both just awkwardly stood facing each other when a slow song began and the lights dimmed. A boy in Dawn’s class came walking over to the two witches.

“Hi, would you like to dance?” He boldly asked Tara.

Willow frowned at first but then could only smile as she saw Tara’s eyes widen in shock.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

Tara looked over at Willow and then back at the boy. “I, um… I have bad knees. I can’t really dance. Thanks though.”

He looked at her funny and turned to Willow, “What about you, Red? Wanna dance?”

Willow couldn’t help but giggle. “I’ll sit this one out, thank you.”

The boy shrugged his shoulders and walked off. “Your loss, ladies.”

Willow was offended by the last comment, “Ladies?! Whatever! I’m only 21!” she called out to him.

Tara couldn’t help but laugh. Willow began to laugh too.

“I miss your laughter. I miss everything about you.” Willow said unexpectedly. “Tara…”

Tara was visibly shaken by the sudden change in conversation. “Willow, not here.” she softly brought up.

“Then where? Where can we talk? I just want to talk.”

“W-what about your date?” Tara felt her cheeks flush.

“Date?”

“You don’t have a date?”

“Why would I? I’m not seeing anyone.”

“I saw you that day. The girl with the black hair.” Tara tried to hide the pain she felt mentioning the other woman.

Willow’s heart broke. “Oh, Debbie. Oh! No! Tara , no. It was nothing. Just one silly date. Nothing happened. Ok, we kissed a few times but-“ She saw Tara’s face crumble. “Oh god. No. It wasn’t like that, baby.”

“N-no, it’s fine. We’re not-“

“No, Tara, please. I didn’t do that on purpose. I mean-” Willow was mentally kicking herself. So much she wanted to say, she’d even rehearsed, but the words were coming out wrong and she was digging herself deeper in.

“Will, it’s ok. We’re not dating.” Tara managed to get out without stuttering once.

The whole world faded around the redhead. “Tara, I love you. I’m still in love with you and I’ll never stop loving you.”

Tara somberly stared at her. “I know.” She murmured.

Willow’s lungs collapsed. “You don’t love me anymore?”

“This isn’t the place to-“

Willow quickly grabbed Tara’s hand and pulled her across the room, out the double doors.

Noticing the hasty exit of the two witches, Spike turned over to Xander and Anya. “I hope they’re not going to the Magic Box again.”

Anya’s eyes widened and ran after the two witches.

******

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby CaptMurdock » Wed Dec 12, 2001 12:25 am

Rane, this is terrific!

Eagerly awaiting the next part.

Jealous that you can write so much so fast!

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"Good God, that's a lot of shake!"

CaptMurdock
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Dr.G » Wed Dec 12, 2001 12:50 am

Oh Rane, I have not have time to read it yet, but I am sure it will be great as always, but I just had to comment on the thread title of course. You certainly know how to get my attention, but from that first sentence I take it this is not *really* about me huh?
Still I agree, it sounds *very* cool.
Dr.G
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby xita » Wed Dec 12, 2001 12:55 am

Oh yeah this is good and angsty.. god. Snuggles soon please, rane?
xita
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby tommo » Wed Dec 12, 2001 12:55 am

Rane, I really like this. And some of it is hard to read, for the angst factor. But it's turning out great!

May I make a suggestion? I think the story you have here is great as it is, don't get me wrong. But if you added more detailed description and narration, I think it would add to the powerful dialogue you already have. Like I said, it's just a suggestion.

Looking forward to the next part.

------------------
"You evil bitch troll from hell!" ~ Patsy Stone

tommo
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Dumbsaint » Wed Dec 12, 2001 1:03 am

quote:
Originally posted by Rane:

Willow quickly grabbed Tara’s hand and pulled her across the room, out the double doors.

Noticing the hasty exit of the two witches, Spike turned over to Xander and Anya. “I hope they’re not going to the Magic Box again.”

Anya’s eyes widened and ran after the two witches.

******


LMFAO Oh my God. After all that angst, that was just SO damn funny. I frickin love Anya. Wonderful.

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Shiver me timberless.
quote:

Dumbsaint
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Wed Dec 12, 2001 1:46 am

um, i never asked for feedback, ruth.

LOL just kidding! i crack myself up when i have to be up tomorrow at 7:30 and i'm wide awake with awakeness.

but for true now: trying with the narration, ruth, but I warn thee I *suck* at narration. It’s why I never do it. let me know if this is better.

i need someone like MC to narrate for me. *wink, wink*

******

“So, this is the new place.” Willow asked with a nervous jitter. She patted one of the couchs’ pillows. “Still smells new.”

Tara half grinned as she walked over with two glasses of water and sat down next to the redhead. “Yeah. I’m thinking of just spritzing Freesia all over it.”

For some reason her throat was parched and Willow took in her surroundings as she hastily gulped the liquid down. Even though it was a new apartment it still felt familiar, so Tara. She looked over at the blonde. “I’m sorry about what I said at the party.” Tara rolled her eyes slightly and this concerned the redhead. “What?”

“I’m just tired of that word. Sorry. Everybody’s sorry. Even when there is no need to say it.”

“I apologize?” Willow asked in her smallest voice.

Tara chuckled and looked at her. “Do you think Dawnie will be mad at us?”

“I’d rather deal with Dawnmeister than the wrath of Anya. She was a vengeance demon after all. You don’t just lose your touch after a few years of being a human being again.”

“Yeah, I thought the vein was going to pop out of her forehead when she screamed at us not to go anywhere near the shop. I thought she was going to fire me on the spot. ”

“I don’t understand how you can work for her.” Willow shook her head as she freely leaned against the back of the couch. Quickly she sat up again. “Sorry.”

Tara was confused. “You can lean back.”

“It’s just this isn’t… I’m… Ok.” Willow leaned back again. She nervously smiled at Tara.

Tara grinned back and drank from her cup. Somehow her path was obstructed and began to choke.

Without any hesitation, Willow began to gently tap on the blonde’s back as she coughed aloud a couple of times. “You ok?”

“Yes, sorry. Thanks.” Tara coughed one last time.

Willow didn’t stop her movements once the attack was over though. She simply continued to rub Tara’s back tenderly. “Did it come up your nose?” The redhead giggled.

Tara laughed as she shook her head. “Gross.” Willow’s loving touch was making Tara’s head spin. “I…”

“What?”

“I miss you too, Willow.” And that’s how it started. Chill time was over, talk time began. “Very much.” She added.

Willow didn’t know what to say. She simply kept brushing her digits softly over Tara’s back. The blonde tentatively shifted sideways and faced Willow. Tears were slowly streaming down her cheeks.

Willow quickly wiped them off with her loving fingers and reached to cup one of her hands. “Don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Why are you crying?”

Tara took a few seconds to compose herself. “Ever since…“ She just shook her head and looked up at the ceiling as she sighed heavily.

“Please talk to me.” Willow laced their fingers and delicately squeezed their hands together.

Tara felt the rush, the energy flow though her again. Her blue eyes finally connected with green. “I miss you so much. And I know everything you went through I made even harder by leaving. But I had to, Willow. I had to.”

Willow was starting to tear as well. “I know.”

“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But you w-were out of control and I’m so sorry for w-what happened.”

“You said sorry.” Willow tried to joke. She hated to see Tara so upset.

“I am… I just keep thinking if I had stayed-“

“No! Don’t think that! Everything that happened had nothing to do with you. I did it all. It was all me… And I know that. I realized that. I’m better now, Tara. I am. I only do magick when it’s absolutely necessary. No more spells that conjure up new clothes or books, even laptops. I understand what you were trying to tell me. Ask Buffy and Dawn. Even Xander… I just need you to trust me again. It’s what I’m still hoping for.”

“See, that’s the thing,” Tara lowered her gaze to the floor and whispered, “I don’t think I can ever trust anyone again. I gave myself to you, I gave you everything and…”

Willow shook her head. “I screwed up. I was trying to fix things. I was doing it wrong. Magick isn’t for that, I know. I don’t do that anymore. I’ve learned. Please.”

“I want to trust you.” Tara knew what Willow was saying was true. All the Scoobies had kept her up to date with Willow’s recovery. Even with the things she didn’t want to know. Dawn. Amy. Rack. Xander. She knew Willow had changed but it still didn’t make things any easier for her. She had still put a spell on her, twice.

“We can start again. Everything. Tara, you felt it that night. We made love and... We’ve never felt that before. It was more powerful then ever. I… We belong together, baby. Don’t let me lose you again. I don’t want to lose you, Tara. I can’t.”

Tara wiped her own tears with her free hand and reached out to caress the redheads face. “I’ll always be with you, Willow. And you’ll always be with me, you know? Ten years from now, twenty years from now, you’ll still be in my heart. I’ll never lose you.”

“Can I be with you in person?” she kissed the blondes fingers.

Tara chuckled. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I vote for yes.”

Tara giggled softly. “I love you.” she quietly voiced.

Willow began to cry. “And I love you. Please, Tara. It’ll be different. Better. We’ve changed. I mean we have, for the better, but we’re still in love with each other. That hasn’t changed. And that means everything to me. You mean everything.”

Tara reached over and hugged Willow. She held her close, and tight, and long. She never wanted to let her go. She finally pulled back only to kiss Willow’s lips. Nothing heavy, just lips touching lips. Then, forehead to forehead both sighed in relief.

*****

TBC? i'm thinking of a fifth chapter, ya know, morning after? but not how you think. we'll see.

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby nika » Wed Dec 12, 2001 5:39 am

Rane this fic is a thing of beauty, personally I wouldn't mind one more part to make my heart go pitter-patter.

------------------
"Eat lot's of applesauce, preferably fed to you by attractive young lesbians." Amber Benson

nika
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby wiltar » Wed Dec 12, 2001 6:48 am

Nika, wouldn't mind??
I'm here almost praying (and I don't even believe) for another part!!

So Rane, feel free to continue

Patricia

------------------
"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"

wiltar
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby mariacomet » Wed Dec 12, 2001 8:18 am

quote:
Originally posted by Rane:
i need someone like MC to narrate for me. *wink, wink*

I think you are doing quite well on your own...but if that's an offer... (email me back, you writin fiend and I'll toss down the gauntlet already)

Ahem...I really like the suspense you've built up in the previous parts. it's edge 'o' seat stuff. And this part...I really, really want to see at least one more.

[This message has been edited by mariacomet (edited December 12, 2001).]quote:

mariacomet
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Dr.G » Wed Dec 12, 2001 9:10 am

Thank you Rane. I love it. I really needed this fic more than I can say and I can go to work feeling a lot better now.
Dr.G
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Wed Dec 12, 2001 10:41 am

thanks y'all! ok, ok, i'll try to get the last part out soon. i'll have to confer with MC about certain things but i hope to have it out by tonight.

my kittie's at the vet getting a tooth pulled and i'm freaking out. he's six years old and i'm afraid of the anesthesia... poor baby...

so, thanks again.

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby mariacomet » Wed Dec 12, 2001 12:23 pm

quote:
Originally posted by Rane:
thanks y'all! ok, ok, i'll try to get the last part out soon. i'll have to confer with MC about certain things but i hope to have it out by tonight.

cool, I get to be confered with! *looks all excited like a kid at christmas*
quote:

mariacomet
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Lonewolf » Thu Dec 13, 2001 1:32 am

Rane: Like I've said before you never cease to amaze me, great fic, I can't wait for the next part, I'm dying to find out what will happen with our girls.

Lonewolf

Lonewolf
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Dr.G » Thu Dec 13, 2001 9:39 am

It's no longer tonight, it is tomorrow now Rane. *taps foot*

Dr.G
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Puff » Thu Dec 13, 2001 10:07 am

Rane great story and I am here eagerly awaiting the next part as well.
Puff
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Brynn » Thu Dec 13, 2001 10:10 am

Hey! Yeah I agree! Where the heck is the next part?!?
Brynn
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby legend » Thu Dec 13, 2001 10:36 am

WHAT!!!!!! Don't stop there - please......I need the next part!!!!!

This is a fabulous story, and I'm totally jealous of all your talent! *shakes head in awe of Rane*

anxiously awaits........

legend
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby tommo » Thu Dec 13, 2001 2:14 pm

That's better Rane. I just like to know everything about a scene, you know? What they're wearing, what they're smelling, tasting...oh wait, that's another kind of fic...heh heh.

I have to say, Willow being with another woman really upset me. REALLY. Even if she didn't feel anything for her.

------------------
"You evil bitch troll from hell!" ~ Patsy Stone

tommo
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Thu Dec 13, 2001 3:09 pm

lol, ruth. i totally understand what you mean about wanting to know every single detail. it's just hard to write all of it when you want to get the story out. i have no patience whatsoever for that kind of stuff when in the writing mode. but i will try to implement that in the future. it's a good challenge.

and i'm sorry if it upset you that willow went out with the other girl. you have to remember it's been a year since they've been apart and she was just trying to see if she could move on, ya know? it's life. that is why tara was as upset as you when she saw her at the shop two weeks later. and why she didn't talk to dawn and stuff... i just had to throw it in there. in all honesty i never thought it was such a big deal, but it's good to know how you reacted to it. i hope the ending made up for it though.

oh, about the ending... sorry kitties but as i confessed to MC, i dont know when i'll post the ending. my muse has left me for another and i cant think of a better ending than the mutual sigh... i had this whole part with a cat named garfield and grease references but it doesn't make any sense to me right now. trust me, once i write something you all will be ther first to know. i'm kinda in the middle of searching for job and all.

thanks again for reading my lil fics y'all and all your coments! hugs to everyone and to everyone hugs. lol... i need to lay off the coffee...

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby tommo » Thu Dec 13, 2001 4:27 pm

quote:
Originally posted by Rane:
i have no patience whatsoever for that kind of stuff when in the writing mode. but i will try to implement that in the future. it's a good challenge.

Oh that's what beta readers are for, heh heh. I usually tend to use betas for filling in the spaces that my lack of skills leave gaping wide open.

quote:
and i'm sorry if it upset you that willow went out with the other girl. you have to remember it's been a year since they've been apart and she was just trying to see if she could move on, ya know? it's life.

Yes, it's life. But it's not Willow's life. Willow's life is Tara, okay? It's Tara! *throws herself crying hysterically onto the bed* Actually, that was a good little ploy there. It worked.

quote:
i dont know when i'll post the ending. my muse has left me for another and i cant think of a better ending than the mutual sigh

Unacceptable. Rane, unacceptable. You bloody tease... If your muse comes back you'll post right away won't you? Please?

*stomps off grumbling* I hate writers...bah...I love them so much...bah...

------------------
"You evil bitch troll from hell!" ~ Patsy Stone
quote:quote:quote:

tommo
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby aladdin » Thu Dec 13, 2001 7:03 pm

It's a very sweet, very cool story and I like it alot...the W/Debbie part is kinda hard to read for me, I don't know why.
If you're not feeling well...take your time. I'm really sorry but remember that we're all here to support you.
Love,
Ala
aladdin
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Rane » Fri Dec 14, 2001 1:01 am

*huge, silly grin* ruth, i luv ya! you ALWAYS make me laugh.

YES, tara is willow's life and vice versa, i'm all about that and i'm sure joss is all about that too, but look at the hell he puts them through. mean lil dude!

thanks again for your support kittens! i will try to write the epilogue (it will be done though, i promise) but i cant promise it will be anytime soon. knowing me i'll get inspired as soon as i post this. lol.

Rane
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby Puff » Fri Dec 14, 2001 1:29 pm

Rane sorry to hear you have lost your muse, I hope you find one again soon so that you will post the epilogue. We are an impatient bunch of kitties here

------------------
Bloody hell, sodding, limey, shagging, knickers, bollocks...oh God...I'm English

Puff
 


Fic: Dutch...

Postby tommo » Fri Dec 14, 2001 1:31 pm

quote:
Originally posted by Rane:
*huge, silly grin* ruth, i luv ya! you ALWAYS make me laugh.

Humph. I'm just a clown to you Rane. A silly, British, ficwhoring clown...

------------------
"You evil bitch troll from hell!" ~ Patsy Stone
quote:

tommo
 

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