I WOULD have posted one big part before, but I am still coming to terms with the HTML coding on the board...Title: Legends of the Kiss part 1B
Feedback: - I will beg if I have to. Really.
Email address: mariacomet@hotmail.com
Distribution: Just let me know.
Spoilers: All episodes. I am loosely tying this to my 'Empty Boxes' and 'Believe' pieces but I don't think you have to read them to understand this.
Rating: PG…for now. There will be at least an 'R' part toward the end, which I have to tell you I am already blushing about writing.
Disclaimer: All Characters contained here-in are owned by and products of the genius of Joss Whedon and Co.
Legends of the Kiss
(Part 1B)
By Mariacomet
The Magic Box had been booming all through the holiday season. Especially since Anya had come up with the 'buy an item worth ten dollars or more, get a sprig of mistletoe free' promotion. The Scoobies (at the prompting of Willow and Tara) had decorated the place. Strands of white, blue, red and green Christmas lights blinked everywhere. Paper snow flakes had been pasted to the front glass window. Bit of holly and pine, as well as evergreen incense were placed strategically so that the whole place smelled pleasantly woodsy. Willow was in the back, baking cookies like a mad woman. She was still in penance mode, even though Dawn's accident had been months ago, so the scent of home-made goodness was also now wafting through the shop.
Willow had just finished a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies when Xander appeared in the doorway carrying in the afternoon mail. He strode to where Anya was manning the counter with a smile. "How's Santa's favorite little helper?" They shared a kiss. He tilted his Santa cap to one side, with a particular rakish gleam in his eyes. "And have you been a good little girl this year?" Willow moved past them and pushed a cookie in his mouth, effectively ending the attempt at another kiss. "You're a mean one Miss Grinch." Xander noted, eyeing his best friend, but taking a bite of the cookie. Anya spotted the package that had come in with the mail and began using scissors to open it.
The door to the shop jingled and the Tara entered, causing the red haired witch to halt in her tracks and give a beaming smile. "Hey."
Tara's own smile was broad in answer. "Hey."
They stared at one another, taking in the sight of what each held to be the most beautiful sight they knew on this earth. Willow wore a long green sweater that just brought out the color of her eyes and accented her fiery hair. Her cheeks were just slightly rosy. Tara moved toward her. She just had to be closer to her. It was her automatic reaction whenever they were in a room together; the magnet of Willow, pulling her near. Her hands itched to touch the other woman, but she didn't. She watched, taking in the highlights of the streaming flame that her fingers used to run through at will. Her eyes caressed Willow's face hungrily. They were never sure exactly what to do with one another when they were standing close. An invisible wall kept them apart. So small and fragile, so easy to break through, yet neither of them could. They both shifted awkwardly in the momentary silence.
"Um…you want a cookie? I just made them. Oatmeal. I know you like chocolate chip. I have some of those baking. Though, you know, you don't have to have any. You're not in anyway cookie obligated." Why, Willow asked herself, do I do this? Shut up, shut up, shut up, she ordered herself sternly. Every time they were close to one another Willow felt butterflies in her stomach and got nervous. Unsure how to act or more honestly how Tara wanted her to act. "Oh hey this is new. Is that leather?" Willow reached out and stroked the leather collar of Tara's jacket. It was real leather and it was the most inane, obvious, excuse to touch Tara that she could of thought of. It was sad, really. And Willow couldn't help herself.
Tara tilted her head and watched Willow's pale fingertips run over the fabric. "My F-father and brother sent it. Along with a note that said they'd always love me. I was going to send it back but..." An impish look crossed her features. "It's really kind of a nice jacket."
Seeing the vixen side of Tara, which Willow hadn't discovered till some time after they had started dating, was rare these days. Willow's heart felt suddenly full and feather-light all at the same time. Okay, down heart...you are going way overboard. She gathered herself together and gave mock look of disapproval. "You sure Santa's gonna like that? Very naughty."
"Oh yeah, I'm a rebel." The blonde joked dryly.
Willow laughed. These moments of teasing were also rare. The strain between them lifted for the time being. "Gotta wonder what's next for you Miss Maclay. Jaywalking? Tearing the tags off mattresses? Talking during a movie?"
Tara hid a grin behind one hand, then forced a serious expression. "I was thinking of tossing out my yellow highlighter."
"Now there's no need for blasphemy." The other witch shot back. Their eyes twinkled for one another. Both of their hearts leapt happily, and neither had the strength to look away. Again, Willow ran her hand over the leather, just skimming Tara's arm. "I would have kept it too, the jacket, I mean. You look really..." Don't go there, Rosenberg. The meeting of gazes made Willow's train of thought leave the station headed for parts unknown. She struggled to concentrate. "Um…so…cookie?"
"Did someone order this?" Anya called out loudly, breaking the spell.
Xander took the tattered book from her and hummed. "Legends of the Kiss." He said, reading the title aloud. "My spidey sense is telling me this is a chick book."
"Men often refer to women as small flluffy animals. It's their way of reducing a woman's place while making their own seem superior." Anya said conversationally and took the book from him.
"She's been watching 'Lifetime' network a lot lately." Xander explained and nodded to the small t.v. sitting proudly near one of the 'study' couches. After Giles had left, Anya had added two t.v's to the shop, as well as a computer. She had also marked up prices just slightly.
Anya was frowning at the book. "I know I didn't order this." She complained. "We'll never be able to sell it in this condition."
"There's no return address on the book. I don't see a receipt or a bill with it." The young man pointed out.
"So it could be a mistake." She sounded more cheerful now. "Does that mean we can keep it? I was thinking of making a dollar bin. So it could be worth something after all. And I mean there's that the whole finders/keeps law." The presence of the unknown stoked Willow's naturally curious nature and she moved toward the counter. Tara followed.
"Not law." Anya's fiancé corrected. "I said it was a principal. One that relates to beer and loose change."
The shopkeeper was flipping through the book. "Nothing that I can read…except…oh here.’To heal the heart of two lovers'. Hmm, maybe I'll make it a five dollar bin.'"
They all gathered a little closer; Tara, Willow and Xander actually moving around the counter and crowding Anya as she read on.
The smell of leather and rose petals wafted from Tara. Willow had to struggle to against the temptation to close her eyes and breathe in - again and again - trying to keep the scent surrounding her, touching her mind like a whisper. The warmth of her love pressed lightly into her back.
They barely touched anymore. Twice since the night Tara had left, kisses had been exchanged, but like snowflakes they touched the earth lightly, briefly, then faded as if they had never been. Kisses from her love had once marked the passage of days more powerfully than time. Morning was when the first kiss came. Afternoon was the stolen moments between classes. Evening, well that was when they traded teasing touches while making dinner. Finally, the end of the day, they would come to bed as one and give in to the sultry night. This had been her day, this had been her life. The last time she had touched her former lover's lips with her own; it had been almost a platonic gesture. It was a reaffirmation of faith between them. The feel of Tara's mouth had been soft as silk and oh-so- yielding, parted slightly in unconscious welcome. The sweetness of it made Willow's chest feel like a vice, trapping her breath there. It was heaven, but though peace had come to Willow, so had the restless ache for more. It was hell. Heaven and hell. It made sense that the thought of it now was still morphing into both.
"You, who own this book, hold in your hand a key to a door of possibility." Anya began. "But this is not an offering that all may take."
"For the one that has touched evil, letting it coil warmly within them but has retreated from darkness back to the arms of cold truth."
Willow's computer like mind took in the words and began analyzing. One that had fallen but had been redeemed, she thought.
"For the one that has given up part of themselves, sacrificing priceless things for the sake of love."
Sacrifice, Willow let the word roll in her mind. Sometimes price implied an object but objects couldn't be part of someone. You could give your heart, but you didn't really 'give it up' did you? The term sacrifice would have been wrong in that instance, anyway. You could give your soul, but usually a bad connotation there, at least in most 'legend' terms that Willow knew of.
"For the betrayer of a gentle soul, that one who is undeserving of a new day but has enough understanding to grieve for the lack of it.
The sinner that regrets the sin, considered the redhead. She frowned. She wished she had a notebook with her. It would be good to write some of these things down.
Tara glanced at Willow, hiding a smile as she saw her mind begin to try and puzzle the words out. My Explorer, Tara thought. Her own mind was poised for a similar attempt at riddle solving, but she was more patient than Willow and was waiting to hear the whole thing before beginning.
The hacker was the one that saw a wrong, formulated a plan and then charged ahead. Tara had often thought of herself as the calm after the storm. Where her lover doubted, she was confident. When Willow lacked patience, hers was infinite. Sometimes Tara didn't know quite what to say, how to explain herself, but Willow could always fill the gaps. When fear and worry gripped every part of Tara, she had only to look to her partner for faith and courage.
"For the brave who can once again lay down their heart even after this offering has been dismissed, or abandoned."
The rejected lover, Willow thought and chewed her lower lip. Okay, this thing was hitting a little too close to home.
"If the moon is full faced on the night of birth, the longest night of the year…."
"Yule." The two witches immediately said as one. Soft smiles touched their lips, fond amusement that they had both known the answer instantly and like the gung-ho students they were, both had tried to be the first to give the correct answer. Willow felt Tara's hand on her shoulder, acknowledging the moment. The light warmth of the other woman's hand made Willow's entire body cry out in happy recognition. But the touch was brief.
"I'm sorry, neither of you phrased your answer in the form of a question." Xander said with raised eyebrows. "I'm a little down with the witchy handbook, so I'm guessing you aren't talking about Y.O.U.L.L."
"No, Y.U.L.E is the longest night of the year." His smaller best friend corrected gently. "See, the sun rises directly south of East and then goes down directly south of West. Really, it's the shortest day and the longest night of the year." Willow explained. T.M.I, she told herself sternly. Though Giles, she imagined, would have been proud that she'd attempted to teach the Scoobies something. "It's the night of the birth of - well it depends on what you believe. The Winter Solstice is celebrated from the 21st to the 23rd. Officially though, by this year's alignments the longest night would be...um...” She paused uncertainly and turned to the blonde over her shoulder.
"The 22nd." Tara filled in. "It's tomorrow night."
"Right." The red head agreed softly. Her voice became softer as she realized how close Tara was. It wasn't as if she had forgotten, it was that the realization kept coming at her - nonstop.
Anya wanted to get on with the reading but Xander and she had been working on patience so she waited before going on. "Everyone ready?" They were. "If you are the searcher, if you are the dreamer, if you have longed words of comfort."
If Willow had tilted her head back just a little, her former lover's breath would have run over the fine hairs on the back of her neck. It was missing the small things that caused Willow's heart to rebel the most. The feel and scent of Tara's hair against her neck as she awoke. The stolen ability to be able to reach out and hold the other woman's hand at will. Cuddling close to her love, staying awake till the middle of the night talking. Tara gently bidding her to wake so they could snuggle or more urgently whispering passion to Willow with knowing fingertips and insistent words. Gentle unexpected, unasked for massages after the red head been sitting, studying too long and too hard. Doing the same for Tara, trying to take care of her. The way her love would purr contently, or look at her with those glowing grateful eyes. Willow knew that once she had been able to make the holder of her heart feel special - loved. Here, now, her ex-lover being so near and yet so far; it was like knowing there was music playing close by, but being unable to hear it.
"Oh warrior, then go to your true love. Have her lie beneath the tree of the King, he who vanquished the Holly King. Offer her a kiss and things unspoken will be spoken, all things unknown in you, she will know."
I have had only one true love, Willow told herself. My Girl. My everything. My always. I can't sleep unless I pretend she's near me, wrapping her arms around me. She's the first thing and the last thing I think of every day. Sometimes I imagine her kissing me, her soft mouth claiming mine, claiming me in wondrous possession. I remember my heart clenching, straining with happiness and desire as Tara touched me. It could not keep still, it raced, it burned - and my body like clay followed the will of her voice, her touch. Nights where passion's drum was unceasing keeping us in tempo with one another. Everything was Tara and I…just us. We were the universe. My hands start to move, to echo where hers have gone a thousand times, but the realist in me knows that it's a dream. I can't do more than tease. I don't want to waken from passion alone. It would be pleasure for a moment and then my heart would break all over again.
I'm not a warrior. I don't know how to fight for you Tara. Other than to continue on, to try and honor what little you have asked of me. I am imperfect but I try and stay away from the magic. I'm done with lying to you, but I haven't told you all my secrets and you don't know all my fears. I hold back so much, it rushes through me pounding to get free, but I'm too afraid to speak. Push too hard and I lose you, push too little and I lose you - this is my dance.
"Say these words - 'I offer, I wait. For your happiness and not my own, I bless thee. For your joy and not my own, I wish for thee. Turn from her then, and seek a path near running water - like that which moves through you and that which has moved the earth since time began."
"If she does not find you and return your kiss when the moon is at its highest point, then her heart will pass to another. A new door will be opened to her by the sunrise. She will be given a way of happiness and you will drown in tears."
Willow swallowed hard. Well that was the test, wasn't it? It was one thing to give but it was another to be willing to risk condemning everything you are to misery so that the one you love might be happy.
"But…if she seeks you, if she returns your kiss under the pale moon, then two hearts beating torn will be healed and the possibility of eternal love will follow you."
Drowning in tears or eternal love, Willow thought, why was there never a third option to any of these legends?
The shopkeeper closed the book. "Well, I've never heard of this. It sounds too good to be true."
"Yes," The Blonde Wiccan said quietly, "It does." It made the hacker sad to hear Tara voice those thoughts. The other woman's eyes were hooded. Her soft face, so smooth even in anger or sadness now had the slightest crease just on her brow. Willow wanted to kiss it away.
"B-but that doesn't mean it's not true." Willow said suddenly. DoubtingTara seemed to her a bad thing. "I mean truth can be good. It's all a matter of keeping the proper perspective. You can't just go tossing out everything that doesn't sound a certain way - I mean listen to how ice cream sounds. What if people said - 'ice that's cream that's crazy talk'! But you know…people didn't."
Willow and Tara's eyes met yet again in an unspoken conversation between doubt and hope - fear and love. So many small words, small moments between them now seemed liked life and death. The hacker was terrified to mis-step.
"Will just entered the Ben and Jerry's zone." Xander noted.
One corner of Tara's mouth lifted, the shine in her eyes turning warm as she looked at her ex-girlfriend. Something invaded the momentary joy; Willow saw the shadow of it and then watched the light in Tara's gaze crumble.
The time for making a decision had come and gone. Tara knew that. Maybe knew was too strong a word. After all, she had never felt about anyone the way she did about Willow. She simply suspected that it was past time. Her heart and mind were pulling at her, demanding a resolution. It had seemed wise for the first month at least, to let the ball be in Willow's court. Willow had to deal with the magic abuse first, then they could see if a future was possible. It was the right thing to do, but that was then. It was nearing the three month mark now. She had promised Willow long ago that they would always be friends. She had kept her word. The others feelings though, hung between them in the air like specters. The love that had swelled between them happily now was a painful burden. Or at least that was true for Tara.
Willow hadn't mentioned love for some time now. Nor had she taken her hand. If Tara initiated a touch, her former lover seemed skittish. Not that the blonde would know what she would do if Willow did respond. The tendrils of mistrust and betrayal were still twined thickly in her mind, like thorns - always ready to remind her of their presence.
She had given Willow everything and it hadn't been enough. Willow had looked down on her, and wanted her to bend into another shape, just as Tara's father once had. The implication was that she wasn't worthwhile as she was and she couldn't afford to think that way. It had almost destroyed her to half believe what her father had told her. She had come to Sunnydale to escape his quiet lethal words, but even far from home, they had followed her. Willow had been by her side when Tara had slayed that demon. It was as it should be, a partner to hold her hand and look into the fire with her, not a rescuer - a partner.
Life was risk, she knew that. Tara had forgiven Willow, but forgetting what had happened, that was something different. Tara's mind, her logic, her intelligence - it was a painstakingly crafted tower of pearls lined with hand-painted stained glassed windows. For a long time, it was the only worth she believed herself to have.
Glory had forced her way into the tower, smashing the windows, then starting to crush each individual pearl. Just for the pleasure of it. Willow has stolen part of the tower…because Tara's love for her had become inconvenient.
Willow admitted that she had no control over the magic. So even if Tara completely trusted her ex, it wasn't enough. She had to live with the fact that there was a demon outside the door; Willow's dark uncontrollable demon. A monster that so far seemed to have very few limitations. Could she live with the idea that she might one day have to see Willow hurt or worse, all because the demon got free? Or maybe it would be another spell against her - worse than a forget spell. Was Willow capable of it?
Weren't all people capable of anything?
All of this was weighed against three words: I love her.
"I was just dropping by. I…I have a class." Tara said quietly. When it came down to fight of flight, Tara often chose the latter. She hated it, but she needed time to think, to rethink. Even if it didn't do any good, even if the questions would all be the same." The redhead's face fell and Tara couldn't bear it, “but I'll see you at dinner. The usual time Sunday right?"
"Right." Sunday was 2 days away. It was the day before Christmas Eve. Say something else, Willow ordered herself, offer her to walk her to class…do something.
Willow watched her go. She wanted to go after her, pull Tara close and confess everything in her heart. Another more drastic urge rose, to capture the lady like a pirate in days of old. Seize the blonde, push her to a wall, and cage her there with her own body. Rain caresses over her lover's skin till everything was made complete between them - till there was nothing but the love.
The sound of someone coming up the stairs from the basement jerked her from her daydream. She sighed, seeing the blonde vampire wasn't really something she felt up to right now.
"You're out of burba weed.” The vampire said in lieu of greeting.
"Gee, I wonder why that could be." Xander sighed.
"You lot haven't paid me for helping you in months. I consider it compensation for services rendered." He gave them a look that would have been all innocence, if it had been anyone but Spike giving it.
"Given the whole vampire thing, Spike, wouldn't it be a wacky notion if you SLEPT during the day?" The other male sighed, pointing to the daylight streaming inside the shop's small windows.
Most of the Scoobies had developed a certain amount of tolerance for Spike, He could be useful when he wanted to be, but Xander had firmly stated that Tarantula’s were of some use too, but he didn't see himself coddling one of them anytime soon.
"Spike, have you ever heard of a book called 'Legends of the Kiss?' " Willow asked suddenly interrupting the men.
With that, Spike turned away from Xander giving Willow his complete attention. "I've heard of it. Lots of myths on how lost love can be found handed down the generations. Was gonna use it to help me and Dru, till I realized that there were so many rules attached to every bit of hocus pocus in there. I mean - you give something a name like Legends of the Kiss and you figure the job is gonna be easy, right?"
The hacker's brow furrowed. Her mind was spinning quickly; her attention on those around her was limited. "Do they work? The legends, I mean?"
Spike tilted his head to one side, smoothing down the back of his blonde hair with one hand. "I heard from a Chaos demon that one of the stories in there made some wanker's fiancé run off with another guy. The broken hearted idiot offed himself. I'd have gone after the girlie and her new itch scratcher."
"Making people kill themselves is probably too risky for putting it in the five-dollar bin." Anya muttered to herself, her expression one of someone deep in thought. Which was true. Often she did over think things; unfortunately the items on her mind never seemed to be what most people considered meaningful.
"What? You have it?" Spike asked with sudden interest. "I'll take it off your hands."
"You can't." Willow's words were sudden and loud. Everyone looked at her. "I mean...I was going to buy it. Anya, I'll give you ten for it."
"I'll give her fifteen." The vampire countered.
"Seventeen." The red head said firmly.
"Twenty!" Spike countered.
"Babe, make him show you the money." Xander counseled. He wasn't sure that it was best for Willow to win this bidding war, but anyone was better than Spike. He'd deal with the Willow issue, after.
Spike shot him a dirty look. "I'm good for it."
There was a sound of the cash register ringing a purchase and the ex-demon handed the book to Willow. "Oh! And here's your free mistletoe." Anya handed her both items with a perfect thank you for coming, please come again smile - one that had been honed by hours of work.
*********************************************
A couple hours later, Spike leaned against Buffy's back door smoking a cigarette and wondering how he'd let Dawn talk him into helping her. The door opened and the object of his wondering appeared.
"Well?" She asked with no preamble.
The vampire tossed his cigarette to the ground, grinding his boot heel over it. "Will has the book. You and me are even." She looked so utterly cheered by this news that Spike softened. "Told you it would work."
"It hasn't worked…yet." The teenager noted.
"I've been around Red for years. Give her doom and destruction, she'll *find* a silver lining. She just needs a little confidence boost. Besides, the demon I got to do the job is a real pro. Trust me, that curious as a cat side to her is gonna be all twitchy. Gave her a nip of mystery and a hint of eternal love." He sounded rather pleased with himself. "Making the Scoobies dance is not a brain buster, luv. They're all obvious."
"Even me?"
He shook his head, trying tried to remember if he'd ever lied to her. Spike didn't think he had. He intended to keep it that way. "Well, you take after me." The vampire answered with a hint of pride. "Like, when you were wondering what you were and Glory got you? You just made the most of it and started squeezing her for information. If you weren't a young lady, I'd say that you have certain brass ones that young ladies don't have." Spike grinned at her, willing her to share his mirth. Dawn gave him a long look then shoved his shoulder lightly. He sighed at himself. That's what he got for trying to be nice. All Summer's women were the same. "Now, I have lots of big bad evil to do…"
"Wait. Tomorrow is Yule. I need you to meet me back here." Dawn made it sound as if it were the most reasonable request in the world. "We have to make sure nothing goes wrong."
"Look, I got the book; I made sure the bird took the crumb. I did my part."
Just like that, Dawn changed tactics on him. "Spike, I need your help."
Phrased like that, it stopped him for a moment. "Not the puppy dog eyes." The 'eyes' in question were immediately applied to him. He growled at her. "Bloody…stupid…you little…" He was pacing back and forth, trying to make all the cursing he wanted to say into something much milder, meant for a child's ears. "I'm Big Bad, do you hear me? I'm not Cupid. I'm not your sidekick and I'm not one of Buffy's Nancy boyfriends. I'm vile and evil and…"
"I need Tara here now, Spike." The words were honest. " Willow needs her. So does Buffy. She makes it all balanced."
With a frustrated sigh, he scuffed his boot into the ground. "Stuff it, when do you want me to be here?"
[This message has been edited by mariacomet (edited January 03, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by xita (edited March 27, 2002).]
