AUTHOR: Kirk Baldridge
E-MAIL: KirkBwriter@juno.com
FEEDBACK: Yes, please. The more the better.
DISTRIBUTION: You want it? Take it. Just let me know where it is.
SPOILERS: The 6th season, up to and including the last new episode, OLDER AND FAR AWAY.
CONTENT: W/T B/S (mentioned)
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy, Willow, etc..., that's Whedon's dumb luck.
SUMMARY: Tara has a long talk with Spike that leads her to reconsider her separation from Willow.
Spike woke suddenly, the blood pounding in his ears as he tried to determine what had roused him from his slumber in the first place. The vampire sat up and looked around his crypt. It was the middle of the
day and he was feeling sluggish; his energy level was always low until the sun went down.
There was another knock on the door of the crypt. He realized that's what it was. Growling, the vampire threw off his blanket and rolled out of bed. He hated univited guests. On the way upstairs he grabbed a sword, almost as an afterthought, in case it was trouble. Spike shifted to his demon face as the door started to open. He was
ready for anything, or so he thought. But a flash of golden hair led him to a
single conclusion, that wiped all thoughts of combat, the unpleasant kind
at least, out of his mind entirely. He started to smile.
"Come for a nooner love? I think I..." The vampire's eyes narrowed. It wasn't who he thought it was. "You?" His face turned back to normal. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"
Tara Maclay closed the door of the crypt behind her. "Nice to see you too, Spike."
"I'd ask you to forgive my manners," said the vampire. "But who are we kidding?" He reached for a cigarette. "I don't imagine you're here for a social call. So what's the what? Some new beastie in town?"
Tara shook her head. "Actually, I just wanted to talk."
"Is that right?" Spike seemed to find this idea incredibly amusing. He smiled. "About what, praytell?"
"You. And Buffy. The two of you."
"What, exactly, is it you're asking me, witch?"
"I know, about you and Buffy. About what you've been doing. She told me."
Spike grunted. "Did she now? Well, that's just peachy. I suppose your whole blasted Scooby club is chomping at the bit to take old Spike to task."
Tara shook her head. "They don't know. She hasn't told anyone else, just me." She frowned. "Buffy came to me because of the things you've been saying to her. She wanted to know what was wrong with her. Why you're
able to hit her, and why she lets you...do the things you do to her."
"Because she likes it, love." Spike licked his lips and smirked. "As for the my hitting her bit..." He touched the side of his head. "...this blasted government chip doesn't recognize her as human anymore. She
belongs with me now. In the shadows. Thanks to you lot, she came back wrong."
"No Spike, you're the one who's wrong," Tara replied. "See, our spell altered her base molecular structure. It's not much, but it's
apparently different enough that it doesn't set your chip off anymore. You see,
Spike? Buffy's still just as human as the rest of us. Your chip is just reading her wrong."
The vampire snarled. "I don't bloody well care. Whatever the reason, she's with me now. She's mine."
"Buffy belongs to no one but herself."
"Since when do you care so much anyway?" Spike looked her up and down.
"Wait a minute! Now I see. You're sweet on the Slayer, aren't you?" He smiled. "I should've known. That's why you two were so chummy at Buffy's party the other day. You're hankering for a piece of Spike's pie,
aren't you?" He chuckled. "What's wrong? Red's not feeding you properly? Oh
wait, she..."
Tara got right in the vampire's face. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Spike!"
"Or what? Who're you kidding, blondie? You're about as threatening as a
paper cut." The vampire sat down. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were protesting a little too much."
"I'm not...we're not..." Tara sighed. "It's not like that. Buffy and I are just friends. I do care about her, though. I would just like to see her happy for a change."
The vampire shrugged his shoulders. "I do my best."
"That's just it. I'm not sure you're good for her, Spike. I know you love her, but you're smothering her. You're turning her into something she doesn't want to be." Tara took a deep breath. "I understand what you're
trying to do, you know. You're trying to make her feel so bad about herself, she'll have no choice but to turn her back on her friends and come to you for support. That's a dirty trick, Spike."
Spike's face turned demonic again as he lunged at her. But then pain erupted inside his skull and he staggered back into a corner, clutching at his head. "Bloody hell!" He lifted his head once the pain had begun to subside, a knowing look on his face. "You're a fine one to talk."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You and Red. I don't blame you for running, but answer me this. What right do you have to be angry at her for having hocus-pocus goodies in the house, or for going out and doing magick with somebody else? You
left her, remember? You're the only person in this whole blasted town who understood what she was going through, who could have helped her through the hard stuff, and even kept her from hurting Little Bit."
"You're saying it's my fault?"
Spike nodded. "In part, yeah. You abandoned her. You ran out on her, just like dog-boy did. And you did it, for the same reasons. For her own good." He stood up and brushed himself off. "So yeah, I'm using Buffy.
Just like she's using me. At least I'm upfront about it. It's what I do. What's your excuse?"
Tara desperately wanted to have a response, but she couldn't find one.
"By the way, you're not exactly innocent in the magick department, are you?" Spike took out another cigarette and lit it. "Remember last year? You put that whammy on the Scoobies, to keep them from seeing the demon
in you? Only it didn't work, 'cause the whole thing was a lie. You nearly got them killed, and I don't recall you ever saying you were sorry to any of them." He stepped closed to her. "Did you?"
Again, Tara was at a loss for words. Loathe as she was to admit it, he was right.
"You wanna know what your real problem is, blondie? It's not me and Buffy. Slayer's a big girl, you know that, and she can handle herself. No, what's bothering you is the fact you're lonely. You wanna be with
Red again, and you don't know how to go about it. You're scared to put yourself out there, afraid she's gonna hurt you again. So what? I got news for you, love. Life is all about pain. You and yours are on this
crummy rock for far too short a time to be worrying about the past so much. Live for the now. Take what you can before someone dumps you in a hole and throws dirt on you."
It made sense. In a warped way, it made perfect sense. "Maybe..."
"No maybe about it." Spike started toward the crypt door, then thought better of it since it was still the middle of the day. "You want her? Go and get her!"
Tara nodded. "Maybe you're right." She grabbed the door handle. "Spike, about Buffy..."
"What?"
"I know you really do love her. But you have to be ready for the possibility that she doesn't love you back, and that she never will. If you keep pushing her, sooner or later she'll push back. And one of
these days the hand she does it with may have a stake in it. Do you understand me?"
The vampire shook his head. "Seldom if ever."
"Goodbye, Spike."
*****