This is the first piece I did and it is intended to be a multi-part story. I have the first two done (and have posted them elsewhere earlier.) I always intended to continue, but a few other stories became more pressing and this got shoved to the back burner as it were. I am thinking about continuing this before I forget where I was going, but thought I would post it first and see what everyone thought. If my connection works (Hah!) I will post both parts. If not I will get the second on later this week or next.
Author: Garner
Email: Garner502@yahoo.com
Feedback: Yes, please. I can take it! This was my first Fanfic work.
Distribution: Go ahead and post this where you want. I would like to know where though as I probably don’t know about the site and may want to go there.
Spoilers: Very few, this takes place after The Gift, and before Season 6 starts.
Rating: PG-13 so far, though a bit of violence at points.
Pairing: W/T, X/A only slightly.
Disclaimer: All of the characters are Joss Whedon’s and the actors/tresses, I have no right to any of them and make no money on this whatsoever.
Summary: Willow and Tara deal with the ramifications of Tara’s mind sucking and Willow’s growing use of dark magic.
Note: I wrote this just prior to season 6. Obviously things are different in the show. I also soft-pedaled dealing with Buffy’s death as others have written that. September/October 2001
Consequences Part 1
“Um, Willow, why are your eyes black?”
“Tara!” Willow stopped her incantation and gave Tara an exasperated look. “It’s no wonder my spells go all blooey with everyone always interrupting me.”
The two sat facing each other bathed in the light from four white candles that barely illuminated the sacred circle they had traced in salt on their room’s carpet. Actually they had placed a smaller black carpet over the obnoxious blue-green abomination that was the standard for the house. The girls’ hands were linked together between them, and each sat cross legged. They had purposely worn darker, muted colors that would hopefully help them fade into the darkness beyond. Between them a small censer slowly let a narrow tendril of smoke drift upwards. The combined scents of jasmine, ginseng, and sandalwood permeated the room. They were supposed to be concentrating on the smoke.
Tara ducked her head for a moment, upset that she had irritated her love. However, concern overcame reticence and she quickly returned her gaze to Willow’s eyes; eyes in which she normally loved to lose herself. Now they were large, pitch black, and sort of scary. Tara could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up.
“B-but that isn’t supposed to happen is it? I mean if it is than that would be OK, but it isn’t, is it?”
“Well how would I know since we haven’t even gotten to finish the spell yet?” Willow shot back angrily. Seeing the hurt look on Tara’s face, Willow softened her voice and said, “I’m sure its just a side effect of the spell. We are trying to look into the astral night after all.”
“Yeah,” Tara replied and then half-smiled, “are my eyes all black?”
For a moment Willow thought about saying yes, just to get on with the spell, but then she thought that maybe they just hadn’t gotten far enough for Tara to be affected. “No, they’re still a beautiful blue.” She said with a smile. “You wanna try again?”
“Okay,”
The spell was a combination of clairvoyance and astral projection. Instead of seeing a specific distant location or entirely leaving their bodies, they would send their vision out into the astral, but with the ability to spy into the normal world. The idea was to view the astral Sunnydale, and upon encountering signs of demonic activity, to look back into the material world and determine what sort of creature was present and what they were doing. Willow had reasoned that this would be a great way to watch over town without necessarily exposing the rest of the Scoobies to danger. In the month or so since Buffy’s death they had been patrolling together , but maybe their hearts weren’t in it, or maybe they were just being sloppy. A vampire broke Xander’s arm during a fight in one of the many cemeteries, Giles had thrown out his shoulder, and even Anya had a number of new bruises and scrapes to go along with her sprained ankle from the final battle with Glory. So far both Willow and Tara had been lucky, they had only been knocked down by a furry demon which fortunately Spike had dispatched before either suffered worse. Spike fought with a berserk fury limited only by the need to watch Dawn and see that no harm came to her.
Both girls lowered their heads, cleared their minds of recent troubles, and then stared into the swirling stream of smoke. Each imagined themselves drifting into the smoke, rising into the air and soaring away from the room. They willed all other distractions away, and started chanting.
“Sight of Maat, body of Iao, sight of Maat, body of Iao, Isis grant us access to beyond,” their voices’ rose and fell in volume as they repeated the chant. A familiar tingle, warm yet vibrating slowly, enveloped them as the spell’s energy built within the circle. Tara felt herself drawn towards Willow, almost as if their spirits were merging in the space between them. Willow's scent filled her nose, the feel of her girlfriend seemed to caress her face. She almost lost her concentration as a cold sweat coated her face. Something frigid raised goose bumps on her arms, a shiver ran up her spine and she thought she smelt an overly sweet, rotting odor. It was just a brief flash though, and was gone before she could do more than draw another breath.
The blonde witch felt her lover’s spirit soar away from her, though a small, oddly reassuring and wholesome part remained, firmly anchored within the circle. Tara was also dimly aware of motion around her, of flying free and unfettered through a dark gray astral sky. She couldn’t make out a great amount of detail, it was like looking through a long tube, or maybe backwards through a telescope. She thought she maybe recognized parts of Sunnydale, and occasionally a brilliant red speck stood out in the darkness. She continued to chant as Willow directed their sight across strange buildings and colder, darker spaces that must have been the graveyards. Several times she felt Willow call on the goddesses to see into the normal world. Each time she got the sensation of swirling down a funnel and saw small specks moving on a toy-like cityscape.
The motion, the sensations of rushing air, rising and falling, even the familiar radiance of Willow’s tethered spirit began to wear at her. Arms shaking, throat dry, she called to Willow, willing her to return. It took several moments, and Willow seemed to want to recheck three of the red specks. All of sudden the scent of Willow permeated the circle, and Tara felt a renewing heat spread throughout her. Again a faint chill like the echo of that previously felt washed over her, and then was gone. She focused past the wisp of smoke on Willow’s large black eyes and couldn’t help but shudder.
“Baby, are you all right?” Willow asked, concern coloring her voice.
“Y-yeah. But I felt a s-s-slight chill.”
“Probably just the night air.” Willow’s face was alight with joy and a large grin. “Wow, that was amazing. I could see all of Sunnydale. There were little houses and cemeteries and little ant-like people, uh not real ant people just small people, and I think vampires had a red glow though there were other colors too. We’ll have to find out what they mean, but wow. I bet even Buffy couldn’t cover the whole town that quick,” Willow’s voice faltered, and Tara reached out and stroked the red-head’s cheek as she softly added, “couldn’t have covered.”
“Y-your eyes are still black,” Tara stated.
“And you are pale and covered with sweat. You look exhausted.” Willow looked more closely at Tara and then quickly rose and re-seated herself next to the blonde. Ever since Buffy defeated Glory and Willow had returned Tara’s mind, she had lost some of her stamina for doing spells. She was regaining it slowly, but Willow had a momentary fear that she had pushed too far. The red haired witch cushioned her lover’s head while she gently sprawled out on the floor. Willow softly kissed her forehead and stroked the long, silky blonde hair while Tara’s head rested on her thighs. She was still not entirely convinced that somehow Tara wouldn’t revert to her mindless state, that her spell would ultimately go wrong and that her love would be torn from her just as Buffy had. Willow’s other hand caressed Tara’s arm and their hands met, clasping firmly.
Her voice husky with emotion, Willow whispered, “You know how much I love you?” And felt the head on her legs nod slowly. She lightly kissed Tara’s closed eyes, and placed a lingering sideways kiss on her mouth. “I’ll always be here for you.”
They stayed like that for an indeterminate amount of time. Tara luxuriated in her lover’s touch and attention, thoughts of black eyes and chills chased away by the feeling of security Willow’s presence conveyed. Finally Willow felt her back start to ache and her legs tingle from lack of movement and she shifted Tara's head gently so she could get up. Besides, they had to do something about the creatures she saw.
“Do you think you are up to confronting some vampires?" Willow asked stretching to regain feeling in her legs. "I saw three at the edge of town. I think they were getting ready to head for the Bronze. They had that dressing up and looking for someone to bite look.”
“I’ll be able to make it, but we should tell Giles and the others.”
Willow went over and turned on the light while Tara blew out the candles and safely stowed them on a bookshelf holding their witchcraft accouterments. One of them would have to use the dustbuster to get all the salt up, but that could wait until later. Both hurriedly put on their boots and headed downstairs.
Since Buffy’s last wishes were for them to take care of each other they had moved into a large house on the north end of town. They had talked about just moving into the Summer's house, but Willow and Xander didn't like the constant reminders of Buffy and her obvious absence. Giles had a room on the top half floor, while the two couples each had a room on the second floor. Anya complained that her and Xander’s room was smaller, but the two girls had needed the extra space for their spells and supplies. The first floor had a modest sized kitchen, dining room, living room, and study, now library, where Giles kept some of the more important, and rare books. Spike also had a room in the basement next to Dawn’s. Ever since the final confrontation the two had been nearly inseparable. Spike even had a van fixed up so he could drive the young Summers to school, and pick her up in the afternoon. None of them were exactly certain why Dawn felt close to the soulless vampire, but were not willing to push the matter. So far the thorny issue of Dawn’s legal guardian had been solved by Giles starting adoption procedures. Dawn's absent father actually seemed relieved to not have to take care of his younger daughter.
Tara and Willow raced down the stairs and into the living room. On the love seat Anya sat to Xander's left to avoid his cast while both watched TV. Giles was in the study obsessively cross chronicling various demon references with assorted prophecies that might have some bearing on the near future.
On hearing the two witches race into the room Anya turned her head and stated, “You two need to find a third witch so you can do really powerful spells. Than maybe we wouldn’t miss Buffy on patrol so much and Xander won't get hurt again.”
“Ahn,” Xander said looking pained. “What did we say about bringing that up?”
“Well ever since she’s been gone everyone keeps getting hurt.” Anya pouted. “I don’t want anything to get in the way of our wedding. You have to be whole or it won’t be a perfect day.”
“Yeah, well that’s just a TV show. We have more power in two than three.” Willow said putting her arm around Tara’s waist and placing a kiss on her cheek.
“Owww!” Xander exclaimed as Anya’s elbow poked him in the stomach.
“I saw that, stop looking, you’re spoken for.”
Xander blushed slightly and to change the subject said, “So what brings you here at mach speed?”
“We did this really cool spell,” Tara started.
“And I saw three vampires in that cemetery in the northwest section of town. I think they were heading over towards the Bronze. It should take them at least an half hour to get there,” Willow finished.
“We s-should probably go stop them.” Tara added in case anyone had any doubts.
“Well, then, it looks like my night is looking up already.” Spike said as he entered from the dining room. “Niblet you done with your homework yet?” He yelled over his shoulder.
“Spike please, can’t you go over to the basement stairs before bellowing like a banshee.” Giles complained, coming into the living room holding a short sword and light coat.
A loud thumping and clumping that only the young can make when escaping homework at high speed interrupted Spike’s rejoinder. Dawn burst into the room with an eager look on her face.
“And I don’t think it’s a wise idea to bring Dawn with. The chances of her getting hurt...”
“Are a bloody lot less if she’s where I can watch her.” Spike cut in.
Every patrol they had had this argument, and each time Spike won. He would not go unless Dawn went also. He had made them give her two large crosses to wear and a super soaker filled with holy water. If anything bad happened to them she was to run for the house, but otherwise she would stay at the edge of any battle and try and hinder any vampires they found. If they encountered demons she was to stay near Willow and Tara. To this point only one demon had surprised them and hit Dawn. Spike had spent nearly fifteen minutes hacking up its body.
“And I don’t think its fair that I have to go to summer school.” Dawn whined, air her own grievance. “All the other kids don't have to, or at least not any of the cool ones.”
“Yes, well, they didn’t miss so much of the spring that they fell behind. You can’t let your education slip.” Giles stated.
“Thank you Sunnydale board of education,” Xander quipped.
Giles actually had the decency to look a bit abashed and replied, “A young person’s education is nothing to joke about.”
“Um, perhaps we should remember the vampires. You know, heading to the Bronze, looking for dinner.” Willow interjected.
Tara spoke up, “I think it would, uh, actually be breakfast.”
“Well, let’s get to it then.” Spike said and headed for the front entryway where he grabbed his black coat from the series of hooks there.
The others followed him, Giles covering the sword with his tan windbreaker. Dawn picked up her watergun and crosses from under the table on which the mail was kept. Tara firmly gripped Willow’s hand. Anya and Xander remained behind.
“Don’t forget to question one to find out why it’s here,” Anya called after them.
The night was fairly cool for a late June night. The group walked towards the Bronze with Spike and Dawn in the lead and Tara and Willow bringing up the rear.
Giles turned around and asked, “So how exactly did you determine the vampires’ whereabouts and their intentions?”
“We were witchy spies,” Willow said with a large pleased smile.
“It was Willow’s idea really,” Tara said and informed Giles what they had done.
“That sounds like a fairly risky spell,” Giles commented when she finished. “You could have lost your sight, been stuck on the astral plane, or even gained the attention of the creatures you were searching for. Working magic that blends two planes of existence is very tricky.”
“Hah, it was nothing for the two of us,” Willow said giving Tara’s hand an extra squeeze as they continued through the darkened streets. They were getting closer to the Bronze and started to see other people in pairs or groups.
“Yes, obviously. In any event we will have to look into the matter of the different colors. Could you see their features as well?”
“Sort of, but not real clearly. I think I would recognize them by their clothes, but not their faces.”
Shortly the Scoobies reached the warehouse containing the club. A few people gathered in small clumps outside, talking and enjoying the night air.
“Are they here yet?” Dawn asked.
“I don’t know, they were on the opposite side of town and might have been taking their time. I mean, I’m not even totally positive there coming here,” Willow replied and Spike rolled his eyes. “And then Tara was pretty exhausted from the spell so it’s been about a half hour since I saw their location.”
They decided to have Willow and Tara go in and see if they could identify the vampires while the others hung outside surveying the area. The two witches entered and quickly circulated through the crowd and gyrating dancers without seeing their quarry. They went back to the rest of the group and reported their lack of success.
“What now?” Dawn asked, already getting bored and impatient.
“We would appear to have two choices,” Giles began. “Either we head in the direction Willow thinks they’re coming and intercept them on their way here. Or, we try and anticipate them and lay an ambush.”
“Either way we could miss them,” Willow stated.
“Yeah, well we better decide quick or it won’t make any difference because they’ll be here,” Spike said. “I say we shove off a way and wait. If they are coming here they’ll be easy enough to spot.”
“What if we miss them?” Willow asked.
“I’ll watch the street to the north, and you and Tara watch the street to the south,” Giles responded.
Since no-one had a better idea they moved off a couple blocks to the north and one to the west. The area was a cross between storage and a few run down looking businesses, a locksmith and sheet metal shop in particular. Spike and Dawn hid in the shadows of one warehouse, while Giles went to the far side of the building. Tara and Willow went across the street to the locksmith and stood in the recessed doorway. Spike and Dawn were able to see others, who would signal if they saw anything.
Tara cautiously looked into the night, straining to hear any noise. The streetlights in this area were far between and dim making the night especially dark. The heavy scent of rusted metal also added to her unease. A bug scurried past her foot, and Tara bit back a scream. For a moment all she could see was darkness, and she thought she felt things crawling on her arms and in her hair, all just out of sight. She felt sticky and grimy and the scent of blood seemed to permeate the area. Panic and despair rose in her mind. Her hands started to flail around and she called out Willow’s name knowing she couldn’t be heard.
Willow spun around hearing her name, and noticed Tara’s agitated state and pale face.
“Tara, baby I’m right here!” she said as insistently as possible while trying not to raise her voice. Fear swept over her as Tara seemed to be thrashing wildly like she sometimes had after Glory had sucked her mind. The redhead moved in towards her lover, skillfully avoiding any blows, and wrapped her in a tight hug. She kissed Tara’s sweat-slickened cheeks while continuing to say reassuring words.
Occasionally her love would be lost in the memory of whatever Hell Glory had put her through. Willow had tried her best to help Tara work through the nightmares, sudden disorientation and screaming fits. This last couple of weeks she seemed to be making more progress and Willow had hoped these incidents had been relegated to the past.
The smell of Willow's hair, the press of her body finally registered in Tara's mind and the darkness and panic started to recede. She felt warmth and security from her lover’s embrace and the soft pressure of her lips on her cheeks. Placing both hands on Willow’s head she guided Willow’s lips to her own, kissing her desperately, passionately, and bruisingly. She clung to the witch with all her strength, eyes brimming with tears.
“W-Willow, don’t l-l-leave me. It’s so dark...,” her voice trailed off as Willow softly stroked her hair.
“I’m here, I’m here sweety, don’t worry,” Willow said trying to comfort her further. She pulled her head back and looked Tara in the eyes, hands cupping the blonde’s chin. “I love you. I'd never let you go. I’ll always be here for you.”
The two kissed again, and leaned further back into the doorway. Further off Spike gave the pair a disgusted look, but sensed no-one else in the vicinity. He looked towards Giles, but the ex-watcher was still gazing intently up the street.
“Well Niblet,” he whispered. “Looks like we may have missed them. Hell, I hate the waiting!”
Willow continued to stroke the hair of the head nestled in the crook of her neck. Like so many times before, Tara’s body shuddered every so often as the tension drained away. Willow was torn between her love for Tara and dark thoughts about Glory, the one responsible for her girlfriend's suffering. It was a good thing Glory hadn’t survived or Willow may have been tempted to seek her out. She hated to see Tara suffer like this.
“I smell fear over there,” came a deep harsh voice.
“Ah, I told you we would find some easy game here,” a satisfied sounding voice stated. “Go and bring them out.”
Willow looked up to see five people across the street. Three were wearing dark jackets and trousers that were in the current fashion. She recognized them instantly from her earlier spell. The other two were women, both wearing strapless evening wear that looked like it had come from one of the better stores in town. ‘They must have stopped to pick up the other two and broken into a clothing store. That’s why they’re so late,’ crossed Willow’s mind only to be replaced by anger at the interruption. Fury swept through her as two of the vampires started towards the doorway concealing her and Tara.
“Habondia hear my plea,” Willow closed her eyes and started chanting.
“Heart of earth, heart of stone, relinquish form, transform aqueous.”
She repeated the chant and pictured the street softening and turning into a muddy fluid and then clear water. In her mind she saw the vampires suddenly sink chest deep into the water that replaced the concrete street.
She said the invocation a third and final time finishing with, “as my will, so mote it be.”
A series of splashes and curses indicated her success, but she did not stop there. She opened her eyes to see the vampires startled by the sudden plunge. Only somewhat stunned however, they continued forward again.
Willow opened her jet black eyes and smiled exposing her white teeth. “Transmutation be complete, let Hertha be returned! As I will so mote it be.”
Before her the water returned to its original asphalt state. Three of the vampires cries were silenced as the concrete pressed in on them and they turned to dust under the intense pressure. The two nearest which had come close to making it out of the area merely screamed and flopped on the blood slick surface, their legs severed by the returning street.
Tara turned her head away from horrid sight. Once again she thought she had felt a cold air surround her while Willow was chanting. She couldn’t be sure however, as the lingering fright of the darkness Glory had consigned her to still echoed through her mind. Nevertheless, she was not blind and all of the fright was not from her previously maddened state.
“What the bloody hell?” Spike exclaimed upon arriving on the scene. “What happened to that lot?”
“Uggh, sick,” Dawn added and then turned and ran to the nearest wall to vomit.
“I used a transmutation spell on them,” Willow said proudly.
“You...did...what?” Giles asked breathlessly having run to the sound of the cries.
“A simple elemental transmutation spell. You know normally you cycle through the elements, turn water to fire to earth to air to water again. That sort of thing. Only this time I just used earth to water and back. Except I thought I would trap them in the stone. I guess when it transmutateded back there wasn’t room for anything else.”
“Good show! Nothing like a little mojo to settle things quick. But hey, can I dust these two already? They’re driving me bonkers, what with all the screaming.”
“Really, I thought you enjoyed that sort of thing?”
“No call to get nasty, Rupert. Besides, it just not the same when you’re not doing it yourself.”
“Somebody just stake them already!” Dawn cried.
Spike moved towards the writhing figures taking a stake from his coat pocket. Giles followed and put a restraining hand on the vampire's shoulder.
“Hang on a moment. This is a marvelous opportunity to learn a little bit. More and more vampires have been coming into town lately. It’s time we found out if there is anyone controlling or directing them.”
“Have at it then.”
Giles approached the first vampire. His deformed face was still a rictus of agony, though he had stopped thrashing about so much. Seeing the older human approaching carrying a short sword he tried to crawl off. Spike moved around to cut off his route up the street.
“I imagine you are in a great deal of pain right now. Why not end it and tell me what I want to know,” Giles began. “Now, who sent you and why are there so many of you in Sunnydale?”
“Everyone knows that the Slayer is dead,” the short, dark haired vampire stated. “This town should be wide open for grazing.”
“Indeed, well I believe you have realized your mistake by now. So who sent you?”
“No-one sent us. We just wandered into town.”
“Why do I get the impression you’re not telling me the whole truth?” Giles asked. The vampire merely scowled at Giles who nudged the now oozing stump of the vampire’s thigh. Its face contorted again and Giles asked, “You must have heard something. Someone called you here, or sent a message?”
“Enough! All I know is that some council from Europe or someplace back east has declared Sunnydale an open feeding ground. Anyone who wants to gather here is supposed to be allowed to feed whenever. No more skulking and avoiding each other.”
“Are you sure that is all?”
“Yes, yes that’s it.”
The other crippled vampire added, “Everyone says something big is supposed to happen by the end of summer. No-one knows what though.”
Spike came forward and drove his stake into the two vampires while Giles went back to Willow, Tara and Dawn who were watching from a short ways off.
“We should probably head back now,” Giles said. “I want to check through the books a bit on this vampire council. It seems to me that I recall something...”
“I-I think I hear someone coming,” Tara said.
Before Spike could say anything Dawn ran over to the edge of the building and carefully observed the street beyond. After a moment she withdrew her head and returned.
“I don’t think they’re vampires. It looks like some cops coming from the direction of the Bronze. Someone must have heard the screams.”
They quickly moved off in the opposite direction, and then circled around towards the house. Tara clung to her girlfriend as if just breaking contact would fling her once again into the madness that had possessed her. At the same time she was also disturbed by the transmutation spell Willow had worked. Wiccan beliefs said that what you send forth will be visited back upon the caster threefold. She knew Willow didn't really believe in the Threefold Law, nor in truth, in much of the Wiccan Rede. But such cavalier use of magic for such horrible results was shocking. Of course transmutation spells weren't dark magic.
She had learned from Dawn that Willow had gone seeking revenge on Glory after the Hell god had tortured her. While she couldn't entirely fault Willow for her actions, neither was she very clear on exactly how the young witch had managed to survive. Dawn had also mentioned something about Willow creating a barrier to keep a bunch of SCA rejects away from them, but such a spell should be well beyond Willow's capabilities. Actually, the more Tara thought about it, so should the transmutation spell. Well, at least done that quickly and with little preparation.
She hadn't brought up the fight they had had before, not wanting to open wounds that she didn't want to face. The whole fact that Willow had cared for her and stayed with her while she was temporarily insane told her all she needed to know. Still, something didn't feel right. Willow's energy flow was different somehow. If she weren't so tired maybe she could sense what it was. But she was tired, tired and scared that somehow her Willow would be torn from her. She sometimes still half-expected to roll over and find the bed empty and nothing but a note saying that Willow couldn't take it anymore. That had been the worst part of the darkness. Shouting and crying for Willow and no-one answering. The sinking conviction that she had driven her love away, that she was unworthy, dirty, not a good enough lover; that in some way Willow had decided that being with Oz had been better and was now looking for another boyfriend. Of course she knew better now, but the constant, incessant darkness and loneliness raised so many irrational fears. She shuddered and put her arm around Willow's waist, and smiled as she felt a reassuring squeeze on her hand.
A short while later they arrived at the three story building they called home. Spike made Dawn finish her schoolwork while he informed Xander and Anya what had happened. Giles disappeared into his study to research the vampire council. Tara and Willow went up to their room to clean up from the previous spell. While putting away the herbs and oils Tara's limbs felt leaden. Willow vacuumed up the sacred circle and the dustbuster's high pitched whir caused a deep throbbing in the back of Tara's head. When they were finished she sat listlessly on the edge of the bed. Willow fiddled with the magical texts, and re-arranged the various vials, seemingly unable to remain still for long. Tara got even more tired just watching her.
"Are you all right, baby?" Willow asked, suddenly sitting beside the blonde witch and taking her hands.
"I'm just tired, that's all. We need to talk about that spell..."
"Didn't it work out great? We saw where the danger was and were able to get the vampires before they hurt anyone. Well, we probably shouldn't wait so long next time. They could've hurt someone before we got to them. Maybe there is some way to paralyze them or put them to sleep after we find them? Oooh, or maybe that ball of sunshine idea, that would be perfect. We find them and then suddenly, poof out of nowhere, sunlight. No more vamps!"
Tara put her fingers over Willow's mouth to get her to stop gushing, and said, "No, n-not that spell, the other one. The one where the vampires got destroyed."
Willow kissed Tara's fingers and smiled, "Wasn't that neat? I got three of them no problem. And most important, none of us were in any danger."
"N-neat? You used magic to kill them." Although concern colored her voice, the other girl did not seem to notice.
"Actually I just meant to trap them so we could question them. But, they were just vampires and Spike would have killed them anyway," Willow got up again and started pacing. Tara was too tired to notice that Willow's eyes were darkening and that a chill started to creep into the room.
"I do have another idea though, but I'll need your help. If what that one vamp said is true, we may be facing more and more of them. Without Buffy here and the Hellmouth still present who knows what they might try and do. We have to be prepared. I won't let anyone else get hurt," She said the last part almost like a mantra oft repeated and used to chase off bad images.
"You can't control that," Tara interjected rising slowly to stand before her lover. "What we do is very dangerous. There is no way to make absolutely sure no-one gets injured. We just have to be careful."
"No, we have to be more than just careful. Buffy was careful and now she's gone. It was broad daylight in the middle of the fair when Glory hurt you." Tears started to form in Willow's eyes as she looked at Tara. "I couldn't bear it if something happened to you again. Especially if I could have done something to stop it."
Wordlessly Tara caressed Willow's cheek and then held her closely. She felt hot tears on her shoulder and moved her hand softly through Willow's hair. Tara pulled back, looked into Willow's puffy eyes now a brilliant green and said, “And how do you think I would feel if something happened to you? Do you think I could bear that any easier? You are the only one who has ever meant anything to me."
Willow started to say something but Tara cut her off. "No, wait, let me finish. I know I would do anything to stop you from getting hurt, and you probably would do the same. But I also don't want you to take any extra chances just to protect me. We face enough danger without one of us looking for more. I couldn't take it if I was the reason I lost you. Oh Goddess Willow there's more I want to say, but I am too tired to say it right. It's cold tonight and I just want to snuggle and go to sleep, OK?"
Willow embraced the blonde, whispering, "I love you so much," before kissing her deeply. Both lost themselves in the softness and savor of the other. When they could remain together no longer they parted slightly, hands still slowly tracing circles down the others’ back. Willow felt a familiar stirring deep within her and would have continued stroking Tara in the places she liked the most, but noticed that she was supporting most of her girlfriend’s weight and realized that Tara must really be exhausted.
With a small sigh of frustration the red head backed away and said, “Let’s get ready for bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow when you're feeling better.”
They quickly changed and climbed under the blanket and sheets. Tara turned out the light by the bed. As they snuggled together, Tara nestling her head in the crook of Willow’s neck with an arm thrown across her stomach, neither caught sight of a pair of translucent dog shaped heads that peered out of the darkness near their closet. Four yellow-green eyes observed the pair for a moment and then blinked out.
Willow stared at the ceiling her mind still racing while Tara breathed rhythmically beside her, already asleep. The transmutation spell had worked pretty well, but that was because the vampires had been standing on stone. The same spell wouldn’t have worked on something living like grass. She needed something more effective, without Buffy they were all in danger every time they went on patrol. The ball of sunshine was an interesting idea, but the spell took a fair amount of time to perform and she still couldn’t quite get it right. Besides, it might not work since it wasn’t real sunlight.
She was about to get up and search through the spell books for something else, but Tara’s arm reflexively hugged her tighter. She ran her hand over the sleeping girl’s arm only distantly aware of the smooth feeling of her skin. No, what she needed was something more combative. Maybe if both of them worked together they could transmute air into fire. Working in conjunction they could maybe eliminate a few ingredients or steps to speed the process up. That or transmute a larger area. In truth she was a bit surprised at how much stone had converted to water. Fire would be better though and it would work on demons, vampires and whatever else might decide to creep into Sunnydale. It was too bad there wasn’t a way to kill things outright, maybe stop their hearts or cause them to burst. Now that would be effective. Hadn’t here been something in that book of Darkest Magics like that? Again she had the notion to get up and try and find the book and again Tara seemed to draw closer.
‘Fine,’ she thought, ‘I’ll look for it tomorrow. Besides, I think it’s still at the Magic Box anyway.’
But she really did want to start on it now. Black magics worked better at night and she was in the right mood to study dark rituals and ingredients. Maybe the lightning she used on Glory would work better against non-gods? Calling forth that power had increased her own quite a bit. If she did it again that might just give her the extra edge she needed. On the other hand her will had been magnified by the need for vengeance, she had almost considered calling on D’Hoffryn then, but what use would a mere demon have been against a Hellgod? No, she had needed much greater power.
‘And truthfully I didn’t care if I came back or not.’ She shuddered at the thought and kissed the top of Tara’s head, breathing in the scent of her hair. It smelt so uniquely of Tara that she became lost in memories of her lover. A few moments later her regular breathing joined that of her girlfriend’s.
Tara awoke slowly. She vaguely recalled some dream from the night before. Something about a large dog or wolf in the middle of four roads. Willow had started walking down one to the left and the wolf was between them. That was all she remembered though it had been chilly as well. It certainly wasn’t cold now though. Willow’s body was lying warmly next to her, well, actually it was pretty hot. She snickered at the thought and now was almost fully awake. The front of her shirt was damp where their combined heat had caused her to sweat. She must have been totally exhausted, she was still in the same position she had started in last night. Her neck was sort of stiff but otherwise she felt much better. Even the damp shirt clinging to her chest didn’t bother her. It was too bad Willow was still asleep. She remained where she was enjoying Willow’s presence and heat and hoping that the red head would get up soon. She thought of Willow’s hands exploring her, and arousal raised her own temperature. Unfortunately Willow vexed her by continuing to sleep on blissfully unaware of Tara’s rising need. After waiting a while longer, Tara finally just got up and went off to the bathroom and shower.
By the time she got back it was close to 11:00 am. She hadn’t realized it was so late. Willow was still sound asleep and showed no signs of waking. She figured the spells must have taken more out of the witch than she had thought. She went downstairs to the kitchen where Miss Kitty Fantastico mewed and rubbed against her ankles.
“Does someone need something to eat?” Tara asked the feline who replied by looking up and meowing louder. Tara scratched Miss Kitty behind the ears and rubbed her head. The cat leaned into her hand and purred loudly. After a few more moments of petting she flumped over and rolled onto her back, exposing a black and white belly for more loving attention. Several minutes later Tara stood back up and went about fixing something to eat for both of them. The house was quiet with Dawn gone to summer school, Spike and Willow both sleeping and the others all at work.
While Miss Kitty washed herself, Tara finished her Raisin Bran and bananas. She was torn over what to do next. She should go to the Magic Box and see what Giles knew about the spells Willow used to fight Glory. Maybe he would know where she got the power to take on the Hellgod and not die in the process. On the other hand, she also didn’t want to leave the house while Willow was sleeping. OK, honestly she just didn’t want to leave Willow period. What if something happened on the way to the Magic Box? It would take at least an hour to get there and back on foot. That was too long, it made her nervous knowing that her lover’s comforting presence wasn’t nearby.
‘Uggh, this is stupid,’ she thought. ‘I certainly ought to be able to go to the store without having to have Willow with me. But, it’s so far away.’
She tucked her hair behind her ear and sat silently considering what to do. Finally she decided that Willow would probably wake up soon, and that there might be something in the spell books they had here that would help. That decided she quickly dumped the bowl and glass in the sink and hurried upstairs. Maybe Willow was awake already.
Unfortunately that was not the case. Her companion lay still asleep, though she had turned over toward Tara's side of the bed with one arm stretched out over where she normally slept. Willow's beautiful red hair lay lightly against her cheek, and a slight grin crossed her face. For no reason Tara could identify tears started to form in her eyes. She continued to stare raptly at her friend and lover. She sniffled her nose as the tears ran freely down her cheeks. Quickly she moved over to her side of the bed and lay down beside the red head. She wanted nothing more than to feel her presence beside her, to smell her and touch her skin. The tears kept coming and she couldn't tell if she was happy or sad, whether love drove her or panic. As she slid in beside Willow, moving her arm so that it was draped over her, she felt her girlfriend stir.
Willow opened her eyes to see a tear streaked Tara sobbing beside her and clutching her arm. Immediately she hugged Tara to her.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" Willow bubbled but Tara couldn't say anything. She just looked at Willow through moist, glistening eyes. Willow kissed her cheeks tasting the salty liquid that covered the blonde's face. They continued kissing for some time, Willow sensing a vacuum in Tara's being, some sort of incompleteness or gap that she tried to fill with all the love and caring she could.
Although they had made love several times since that night, neither had been wholeheartedly present. Tara had still felt a sense of unreality and distance, like nothing was substantial, everything a ghost echo of touching. Willow on the other hand had been in a state of shock over Buffy's death. Nothing seemed to matter to her or even worth any effort. Her apathy had dwindled with the passing weeks, but neither had felt the flow of emotion or the joining of spirits they had felt before.
This time Willow felt the hole in her lover and rushed to fill it. Clothes soon left their bodies, flung about the room with little care. Tara felt Willows soft lips and her sweet tongue rediscover the most sensitive areas of her body. She exalted in the feel of her smooth skin against her own, in the kindling excitement and her own wetness. As they exchanged cascading waves of pleasure, each felt that the other was finally with them and not lost in the past.
They lay drenched in sweat, enjoying the slower caresses and full afterglow for the first time in what seemed like ages. Neither spoke, finding little need to waste the breath or effort on what was blatantly obvious. Willow fell asleep again, her legs entwined with Tara's, her head above one soft breast. Although she was tired also, the tingling sense of wellness drove off any sense of fatigue. She felt Willow's heart beat against her side, and the gentle rise and fall of her chest and marveled at how lucky she was to be here.
Tara woke with a start and looked over at the clock. It was almost 3 pm and that meant the day was almost over. If she wanted to have a talk with Giles before fixing dinner for everyone, they would have to get a move on. Willow was still cuddled up against her, sleeping peacefully. Since she still didn't want to go alone so Tara stirred her lover thinking, 'I can't believe she's still asleep.' The witch woke slowly, her green eyes looking up into Tara's blue ones.
"Hey there," a slow lazy smile drifted over her lips.
"Hey yourself Rip Van Winkle," she replied.
"What time is it?"
"About three,"
"Three? The day's almost gone. I think a certain blonde haired vixen tired me out earlier." Willow sat up slowly and tried to think of a way to head off to the Magic Box without seeming too anxious.
While she was still considering the matter Tara said, "I-I think I should head over to Giles' shop. We need to refill some of our herbs and stuff."
"Oooh, good idea! I want to get a few things too," Willow added ignoring the slightly worried look that appeared on Tara's face. "And anyways, someone has to go to the grocery store before dinner, or did you forget that?"
Tara gave a small sigh and admitted that she had. Their plans settled, they quickly took care of what should have been morning toiletries, and dressed. Spike would need the van to pick up Dawn so they walked downtown. Tara enjoyed the warmth of the sunny afternoon, the fresh air, and her girlfriend's arm around her waist. Despite the cheery day, Willow seemed a little distracted as they talked about nothing in particular.
When they got to the shop they greeted Anya who was behind the register as normal, and Giles, who was going through several large books he had dug out of the back storage.
"Have you found anything on the council?" Tara asked.
"Not enough I'm afraid," Giles began. "There seems to have been mention of a movement for unification in the vampire community in the early 1600s, but all accounts say that it never succeeded. Watcher records indicate that the slayer of that time slew several of the leaders and the others were disorganized. On the other hand the chronicles also show that there were less reports of vampiric activity after that. Almost as if they started consciously trying to cover their tracks. It makes one wonder if there wasn't some central body directing things."
"And these vague notions meant we had to spend most of the profit margin on rotting inventory we'll never be able to sell," Anya interjected.
"Yes, well if those books give us some clue on the current situation it will have been a wise investment. I would appreciate a little aid right now though. I believe these volumes may be helpful."
"We don't have a lot of time right now," Willow said.
"We have to go shopping and be back to make dinner," Tara elaborated.
"We're mostly just here to get some supplies," Willow finished.
"But I could h-help for awhile," Tara turned towards Willow, "if you get the things we need that is."
Willow agreed, relieved to be able to move around the shop without Tara following her.
"Don't forget you have to pay for everything," Anya called as Willow went up the stairs to the loft shelves. She shot the ex-demon an annoyed look which was blithely ignored.
Tara waited to make sure the other girl was occupied before heading over to Giles and picking up one of the books he indicated. It was a translation of a medieval monk's journal during his wanderings in Eastern Europe. One of the classes Tara intended to take the next semester was Latin. If she specialized in that, and perhaps Greek or Arabic, she could help Giles more with primary source research.
After pretending to skim through the first section for a while, she softly asked, "Mr. Giles? Do you remember when I was attacked by Glory?" She reflexively rubbed the hand that had been crushed.
"Yes, indeed," Giles answered. "Willow was quite beside herself, though it was a horrible time for all of us."
Tara nodded and swallowed once before continuing, "H-how did Willow manage to survive the fight with Glory? Umm, I mean even B-Buffy couldn't beat her."
"Well, that is an interesting question. Unfortunately I don't really know," Giles said taking off his glasses. "We never got around to discussing what happened. You see Glory found all of you and after that we were on the run. There wasn't time to consider the matter. And Buffy didn't say what happened either."
"She was way pissed off wasn't she?"
"I would suppose so."
"Both Spike and Dawn said it took a while before Buffy went after her," Tara looked down letting her hair conceal her face. "I...I'm worried that Willow called on dark spirits for aid. She's gotten so much more powerful. Well, maybe she already was, but how did she do that spell last night? It was horrible, all that blood and the bones snapping." She shuddered as a shadow of the pain from when Glory held her swept through her mind. "And h-her aura feels d-different somehow, not like it was before. Sometimes it seems darker. I'm afraid she might have done something terrible."
"Sssh," Giles said putting a hand on the agitated blonde's shoulder. "Calm yourself. I am sure Willow hasn't done anything drastic like offering herself to the nether powers."
Tara agreed and said so, but added, "But her spells have a way of going cockeyed. I know she doesn't intend them to, but her focus sometimes isn't steady enough. I think, maybe, she gets distracted easily...or something."
"Hmmn," Giles considered, vaguely recalling Willow keeping the Knights of Byzantium out of the rundown gas station. That had also been a powerful spell he wouldn't have thought she was capable of successfully casting. Of course he was wounded at the time and not paying much attention to what was going on around him.
"She also tends to experiment with spells quite a bit. Once she expanded a small light spell into a very wide illumination. She merged the astral travel and clairvoyance together. Changing spells around is very dangerous. The powers invoked..."
"Actually, it's not as dangerous as it seems," Giles interrupted. "Spells are more a process towards a desired end rather than a thing of themselves. It is not like, um, say a chemistry experiment where you need to follow each step exactly. It's more like cooking where if you change some of the ingredients you get slightly different results."
Tara shook her head, disagreement plain on her face and said with conviction. "My mother always taught me that you shouldn't mess around with the spells. They were handed down from her mother and through the family for quite some time. Besides, if you alter things you don't know what will result, or maybe nothing happens." She ducked her head and reddened slightly, suddenly aware that she was contradicting Giles.
"Yes, I have heard that practitioners raised by oral tradition, or using spells handed down through the generations, are much less inclined to experiment, and that may be for the best. Still, remember that most of the ritual, words, even the ingredients are designed to focus your will to allow you to change the way the world exists. They are merely props to help you gain a desired effect. When not calling on spirit powers, good or evil, or drawing on them, many of the steps can be dispensed with. One of the reasons there are so many different systems of magic is because different cultures need different tools to achieve the necessary mind state. That also helps explain why magic is as much an art as it is following formulas. For you, since you believe changing things would lead to unexpected results or failure, that is exactly what's most likely to happen. Similarly, someone who really doesn't believe in magic, but who tries a spell on a lark, is also probably going to fail. Deep down they believe they will fail."
"But what about Willow?"
"Well, she obviously does not have your extensive background so her mind is more open to experimenting. She is a very intelligent girl with a great deal of imagination and that is partially what makes her so powerful." Giles sat back and bit on the end of his glasses for a second. "I daresay you are probably correct about her lack of focus though. She must be able to get into the proper frame of mind quickly, but gets distracted from the focal point of the spell. As her attention wanders, the spell's built up energies must be flung along different lines." Giles shook his head and returned the glasses to his face. "I blame myself really. I should have observed her technique while she was attempting several different spells."
Tara still did not look entirely convinced. Giles was obviously very knowledgeable about magic, but her mother had also been a very powerful witch. Still, none of this explained the dark stain that was maybe there in Willow's energy flow and she voiced this concern.
Willow had grabbed a few common herbs they were low on while Tara went to help Giles with the research. She surreptitiously observed them to make sure they weren't paying any attention to her, and that Anya was busy with another customer, before she started upstairs towards the rarer items and hidden grimoires. Just to make sure no-one was coming to check on her, she grabbed a few of the powdered gemstones of which they needed restocks. Still no-one, so she moved over to the area where Giles hid the darker magic books.
‘Hmmph,’ She thought, ‘any witch practiced dark magic according to medieval clergy. Even one healing poultice and its off to the stake with you. They probably wouldn’t recognize dark magic if it zapped them on the butt.’ She smirked and moved the volumes from the front of the lower shelf revealing three dark brown books, one of which had thick wiry black hair on it. She removed the aged tome on the right which also had a broken clasp.
Before she hadn’t had time to thoroughly look through it, though she figured she really didn’t now either. Instead she just put it on the floor and opened the cover, feeling a warmth and odd softness as she did. A hot fetid wind blew the pages like last time till they stopped on a particular one. Willow hoped that it would reveal some spell that would allow her to easily destroy the vampires or demons that continued crawling into Sunnydale. True, they had killed most of the evil creatures they found, but sooner or later the news that Buffy was dead would be widespread and attract something really dangerous to the Hellmouth. When that happened who knew what would show up. Or how many. No, if they were to survive, if Tara was to avoid getting hurt, they were going to need something stronger with which to combat the evil forces coming. Willow just hoped that the spells in this book would be strong enough. She began reading the incantation on the proffered page.
END PART 1 TBC…