I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:22 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:22 pm
but I cannot find any streaming for those of us outside LA. 
[This message has been edited by Eyes Without A Face (edited October 29, 2001).]
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:22 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:22 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:22 pm
http://home.mindspring.com/~bbovenguy/WTSounds.html
Email me. We'll talk. 
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:23 pm
------------------
Paula
--------
Amber FanGirl #1a; May the Amber Force be with you.
Keeper of my own insanity
"I love being a girl, having a girl.." ~as sung by Amber Benson in the UK
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:23 pm
i was happily listening to Amber doing her thing (thanks muchly to Xita)... when my computer decided to shut itself down without warning me first!
i think it's psychic or something because i was running late for this horrid thing called school... and staying online any longer woulda made me *really* late... but i really wanted to listen to the end of the conversation with the "former juvenile sex offender"...
oh well...
------------------
"if you throw a stone, something's gonna shatter somewhere. We're all so fragile, we're all so scared."
nocturnal review site
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:23 pm
Adam: Its a nice sweetening of it. You know, its like, heres my problem, Im too smart.
(Amber laughage in background)
Drew: I think too much. Yeah.
Adam: You know what its like? Its like your taste buds being so developed that everything takes like crap. Instead its just like being numb in the mouth.
Amber: Hmmm
Adam: Its a good twist. Its a good angle.
Drew: Its like the way a dog smell is, thats why dogs start smelling poo. Comes all around smelling like roses.
Adam: Right. Did you publicist come up with that? Too great a thinker to be smart?
Drew: But listen, for Brandy (the caller) as just sort of a basic book, theres a book called [u:8e3c5ff8be] The Search for the Real Self [/u:8e3c5ff8be] by a guy named Masterson, its pretty good to start with.
Adam: Okay, so she cant afford therapy, she got molested, she had the retarded brother, just walking in on mom-
Drew: Yeah, this is trauma survival
Amber: Handicapped.
Drew: Another good one for her would be [u:8e3c5ff8be] The Drama of the Gifted Child [/u:8e3c5ff8be], cause Im sure she was the caretaker of the family, too.
Adam: Alright. Lee?
Lee (Caller): Hi.
Adam: Hey, youre 27.
Lee: Hey, Amber, would you go out with me?
(Shes really amused at this and laughs loudly- so cutely goofy)
Adam: Yes.
Amber: Thanks, Adam. Man, youre making my love life just sing.
Adam: What do you for- uh, youre single, right?
Amber: Um
Adam: Got a boyfriend?
Drew: Lee, are you a lesbian?
Amber: (chuckly ironic snort kinda thing) Am I a lesbian.
Drew: No, Lee.
Amber: Oh!
Adam: Lees a good lesbian name. I think the best.
Lee: No, no.
Amber: Lees a guy. (laughs)
Drew: Oh.
Adam: Oh. She only dates lesbians.
Amber: (laughing) No, no! Stop it! Nah, you know- um, um, Im not seriously dating anybody at the moment, but
Adam: So, what are your qualifications, Lee?
Lee: Well, Im a nice guy, Im intelligent. And like you, Adam, I have a pristine penis, so
(Amber chuckles)
Adam: Nice.
Lee: Wed work great together.
Drew: No, Adam has a stunt penis.
(Amber guffaw)
Adam: Well, what do you do for a living?
Lee: Im a software engineer.
Adam: Ooh, that could be worth something. And what do you do, do you make good money?
Lee: Yeah. I make- to the tune of 60K a year.
Adam: To the tune of 60K a year. Which is, you know, nothing to a big actress.
Amber: Hes got a nice voice, though.
Adam: Yeah, and hes confident. I like that in a man. Ah, you live in the Pasadena area?
Lee: Yep.
Adam: Mhmm, not too far out. And youre 27 years old?
Lee: Yeah.
Adam: What do you look like? Describe yourself physically.
Lee: Um, about 62, I have long hair.
Adam: Uh oh. Whats up with the long hair?
Amber: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute youve got long hair
Lee: Yeah.
Adam: Do you like long hair?
Lee: Id cut it for you, Amber.
Amber: Have I ever gotten a letter from you?
Lee: Um, yes you did, in fact. I offered to be your chauffer.
Amber: (yellin) Ooohhh my god, I knew it! I knew it! Oh my god. You were the talk of like, the Buffy production office.
Lee: Oh, really?
Amber: Oh yes, I showed everybody those pictures. (laughs)
Adam: What pictures?
Adam: What pictures?
Lee: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Amber: (laughing) You should see the look on Dr. Drews face.
Adam: What pictures? What pictures?
Lee: I sent Amber pictures of me, and my car, and offered to be her chauffer on the show, that she doesnt drive.
Amber: Hes cute! Hes very sweet.
Adam: What kind of car do you drive?
Lee: Old Mercedes.
Amber: He said hed paint it blue for me.
Adam: Nice.
Amber: And he sent me pictures of stuffed animals.
Drew: Pasadenas actually not too far from here, you could come down here tonight.
Adam: Hold on a second. Hold on a second, retard. Now youre really not thinking. The guy is taking pictures of stuffed animals? Isnt that a little twisted? A 27 year old man? (to Amber) Do you like stuffed animals?
(Amber is laughing in the background)
Amber: Ive gone beyond the stuffed animal phase of my life.
Adam: Youve outgrown the stuffed animals?
Amber: I- I am, kinda, dating somebody, so I dont think he would look too- I mean, its not serious, but like, you know, Im, like, you know- its heading in that direction.
Adam: Serious direction.
Amber: Yeah.
Adam: Why, are you pregnant?
Amber: (feigning ) How did you know? God, do I-? can you-? (drops act) No, Im not.
Adam: I can smell it on a woman.
Amber: No, Im not. It would be the immaculate conception at this point.
Adam: Oh, really? Jesus Christ. Well, you live with your mom, whatre you gonna do?
(Amber cracks up laughing)
Adam: Lee? Sorry, buddy. You just find yourself a nice nerdy chick that lives around JPL (?) there.
Amber: No, hes very cute! Hes very cute.
Adam: No, Im not saying hes not, Im saying he needs a nice nerdy chick.
Amber: (she says something kinda unintelligible about him needing someone nice and not being psychotic)
Adam: Alright, Lee, dont do anything stupid, you know?
Lee: Ah, okay.
Adam: Dont like, kill a bird and take a picture of it.
Amber. No! It was very cute, very sweet.
Adam: Where do people get that energy? Dyou know what I mean?
Drew: To send pictures and stuff?
Adam: Just to do anything.
Drew: Adam, please. Im a- soulmate of yours, as far as that is concerned. Thats were just waiting to die, you and I.
(Amber chuckles)
Adam: Yeah, wed like to be left alone until we die.
Drew. Yeah.
Adam: Then, uh send all the pictures you like.
Amber: I knew it was him! I just had this feeling, except Pasadena- I was like, wait a minute
Adam: Well, how long ago did he send these pictures?
Amber: This was pretty recently. Well, he probably sent them a while ago. I just got them. So
Drew: Why are they the talk of the production office?
Amber: Cause I was upstairs and I got my mail and I opened it and I was like, Oh my god, oh my god, this guy offered to be my chauffer. And I read the letter, and everybody was like, Oh, thats so cute, ha ha ha! and they actually have some of the stuffed animal pictures up in the production office.
(Someone starts playing creepy stabby killer type reeeee reeee reeee! music.)
Adam: Taking pictures of stuff- did you announce that you are into stuffed animals?
Amber: N-no, but everybody was talking- I guess, theres something called a plushy? Who likes to have- (breaks of giggling) sex with stuffed animals. (laughing)
Drew: Oh, yeah- is he one of those?
Adam: Oh, is that what a plushy is?
Amber: Oh, no, no I dont think so but at the office, obviously, they go right to that. Oh, is he a plushy?! Im like, I dont think so. You know, I think it was just to show that- he was nice. Although I was very offended because he had a picture of himself next to a poster of Alyson Hannigan who plays my girlfriend.
Adam: Oh, that is such BS.
Amber: But he said there was no poster of me, so
Adam: They gotta come out with one.
Amber: I would die if there was a poster of me.
Drew: He wants to be in Alysons place.
Amber: Probably. Probably.
Adam: Hey, Sid?
Sid (Caller): Yeah.
Adam: Whats up?
Sid: Not much. Bad times, man.
Adam: Yeah, Bad times? Whats the matter?
Sid: Yeah. Well, uh I dunno-
Drew: Your names Sid.
Sid: Yeah, uh, a question for Dr. Drew really. Yeah.
Drew: Yeah.
Sid: I dunno, kinda, no one really came to me and told me, but- just small drops and hints from people and, uh, stuff Ive come to realize that Ive got halitosis, which is, you know, horrible horrible bad breath.
Amber: Mhmm.
Sid: You know, you can smell you from here for a mile.
Drew: Alright, so theres a lot of things you can do to try to help that, right?
Sid: Alright, so far Ive gone to the local drug store and bought the expensive, you know, the good mouthwash. They do absolutely nothing.
Drew: Have you gone to the dentist to make sure you dont have any bacteria?
Sid: Well, I do- I-
(Someone plays some sound cue of someone stuttering, how mean)
Sid: I wake up- I wake up in the morning and I have a later of white, I dunno, gross stuff all over my tongue that takes me about 45 minutes of scraping with the tongue scraper to get it off of my tongue, and then that only lasts for about an hour.
Amber: Maybe with the stomach or something?
Drew: It could be a lot of things. Have you seen the dentist?
Sid: Well, I- the last time I went to the dentist was just for finding out about it, and I was kinda nervous about it, and I just said something to her, as I was going out, I didnt make a big deal out of it, I said, Well, how do you take care of bad breath? and she said Well, just brush your teeth real good.
Drew: No, you need to go back.
Amber: Mhmm.
Drew: There are actually- the majority of the really bad (something?) breath problems is bacteria that grows at the back of the tongue. And theres special brushes they can give you, and to measure the (?). Theres reflux from the stomach, that might be from whatever youre eating.
Amber: Uh huh.
Drew: You might want to keep your diet kind of bland. Theres-
Adam: What, you should just eat chalk?
Amber: Jell-o.
Drew: And, uh, shredded wheat.
Adam: Charcoal and plain yogurt?
Drew: And then theres uh- your mouth hygiene, to make sure theres not any bacterial growth in there that could be causing bad smell.
Adam: Yeah, a-and th-
Drew: Theres a lot of things you can do, and then, it sounds like you might have a yeast infection in the mouth.
Adam: Eeewwww!
Drew: Called thrush. And that can make a funky smell.
Adam: Eeewww! Theres- theres dentists that pretty much specialize in this, these days.
Drew: There are indeed.
Adam: I was at a movie today, I walked out because someone had funky breath.
Drew: Oh really? (yucky noise)
Adam: Yeah, I really, I, you know, I think its because Im a big star now and a literal millionaire.
Amber: Yeah, you cant take the bad breath and the yawning and the snoring.
Adam: I just, I got nestled in between five of the worst people Id ever met in my life, and about 20 minutes into the film, Ive just had an assful of this-
Drew: Instead of leaving the theater, why didnt you just move seats.
Amber: Yeah. What-?
Adam: I didnt even wanna be in the same theatre. You know why?
Drew: Let it go so long you got angry.
Adam: No. Heres what happened. I saw, I went to see the movie Bandits. And the movie is one of these that starts at the ending, and lays it all out, and then- and then proceeds-
Drew: You missed that because you were too distracted by the smells.
Adam: No, I missed that because I had the A-holes- you know these A-holes who pile in right at the beginning of the movie?
Amber: And they talk the whole time?
Adam: You know what Im talking about? Youre sitting there for 25 minutes watching the popcorn, Mr. Popcorn dance.
Amber: Yeah, the trivia on the screen.
Drew: With the Good N Plenty dancing around.
Adam: Right. The whole concession stand band, Dixieland band.
Amber: Its changed recently, actually.
Adam: And youre sitting there the whole time, and then right when the movie begins here comes the guy and this chick and her friend, and then there was like a retarded guy behind me who kept repeating what they were saying.
Drew: Wow.
Adam: He was actually a little bit retarded.
Drew: So the Rainman sitting behind you?
Adam: Yeah. And there was a woman and her son who were behind me, too. And they were just having conversations like animals. You know, people are like animals, the dumb ones. You know how a dog will like, lick its balls in front of the queen. Just right in front of the Queen. The Queen of England could be standing there, dog would lick his balls.
Amber: I dunno if thats stupidity or just- you know
Adam: No, thats just evolution. Theyre down on the chain. And you know how stupid people get into arguments in front of other people. Like on COPS the guys got his gun drawn and hes like, Sir, lay down. On your face! and the guy is walking to him, waving a sprinkler key saying, What do you want? And the guy keeps yelling, Down, down on your face.
Amber: Down, down, down or Im gonna shoot you.
Adam: And he keeps yelling What do you want, and waving the sprinkler key with his shirt off. Thats stupidity! And people who talk and dont think other people can hear them, or dont care, or just not really in their- its not really in their mind.
Amber: Hes off on a diatribe, isnt he?
Adam: Yeah, theyre just sittin there just having a conversation in the theatre. Thats stupid. And we like to call it a bunch of other things, but its really stupid. Isnt is just stupid?
Amber: Or self-involved.
Drew: Yeah, one piece of its stupid.
Adam: How smart do you think that person is? Do you think theyre stupid in the theater and a genius in the financial world outside of that?
Amber: Maybe.
Adam: No way!
(Amber cackles. Heh.)
Adam: No way. No! Its like the dog licking his balls, theyre closer to the dog than they are to Tony Randall, who I would put at the top of the human evolutionary scale.
Amber: Tony Randall?
Adam: From the Odd Couple. You remember him.
Amber: Yeah, yeah- Felix, I know. The clean freak.
Adam: Yes, he was the clean one.
Amber: Yeah, I know.
Adam: We put him at the top. Yeah, theyre just having a conversation and then this other ones having a conversation, retarded guy, and then this bad breath starts coming in, and Im like-
Amber: I thought you said bad breast, Im sorry. (laughing)
Adam: Bad breast. Bad breath.
Drew: That would offend him, too.
Adam: Im going insane, after about 20 minutes
Amber: I felt bad for this guy, Sid, though he should just not worry about it. He needs to go in and talk to his dental person and deal with it.
Drew: Yeah.
Amber: He shouldnt be freaked out about it, he just needs to get it taken care of. And speak up for himself.
Adam: Alright, where was I? Amber Benson here from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Shes a big lesbian.
(Amber giggles)
Adam: Well be back.
(break)
I'll keep plugging away at it throughout the day. Heehee. She's so cute.
------------------
"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:23 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:24 pm
We um- its the Willow-Tara, its the lesbian comic, basically
hee hee hee... that amber, sure does like to talk about being a lesbian...
[This message has been edited by april (edited October 29, 2001).]
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:24 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:24 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:24 pm
for that long just to hear Amber is true dedication [This message has been edited by Warduke (edited October 29, 2001).]
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:24 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:25 pm
*snicker*
At any rate, I have to go to my music lessons soon here but I'll try to get the rest of the show transcribed this evening. I was so stoked on getting to listen last night that it just doesn't seem fair that any Kitty should have to go without the Amber-y goodness. Heh.
Anyone know if she was on the morning show on KROQ as someone suggested she might be?
------------------
"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:25 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:25 pm
I know I've said it before and I shall no doubt say it again, but how much do I love Amber Benson, she is so damn cool!
------------------
I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:25 pm
quote:
Originally posted by Dumbsaint:
How'd that lil ditty of Ruth's go again?
Ah Dumbsaint...in the true style of UPN, that was just a teaser. You'll have to wait until after the show for the rest. Heh heh...
------------------
"Y-you wanna look at the money? I find it always calms me."
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:25 pm
------------------
Paula
--------
Amber FanGirl #1a; May the Amber Force be with you.
Keeper of my own insanity
"I love being a girl, having a girl.." ~as sung by Amber Benson in the UK
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:26 pm
[This message has been edited by xita (edited October 29, 2001).]
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:26 pm
------------------
Bite me
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:26 pm
"We um- its the Willow-Tara, its the lesbian comic, basically"
hee hee hee... that amber, sure does like to talk about being a lesbian...
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:27 pm
quote:
Originally posted by Puff:
Thanks for the transcript Dumbsaint "fingers of fire"? hee hee
Bwahaha! Yes, fingers of fire! Faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap run-on sentences in a single bound... all that early piano training and long years of being a total cyberwhore online addict have left me with speedy fingers. They do come in... well, handy. As it were. 
Here's the second to last bit of the show. It's with the creepy guy, in the second half. You can't really know how creepy he sounded without listening to him, but... you can kind of see it in the way they talk about the call afterwards. Amber sounded a bit distressed a few times in there.
I think it's best summed up a la Buffy: "I see your eeeeughhhhhhhhhh and raise
you a gnyeh."
(back from yet another way too long break, this one including the over five minutes long Mexican national anthem, which 91X here in San Diego plays religiously every night @ midnight. Its long. Real long. And it hurts me. But back to the show!)
Drew: Hey, its Loveline.
Adam: Thank you there, Drew. (scatting death metal style as Drew snickers in the background) Never gets old for you, does it, Drew?
Drew: Never! I just wish people could have heard what we heard that one lovely afternoon in Pasedena, behind the stage of System of the Down (?)
Adam: To be fair to the band, we were behind the stage. (starts up with the scatting death metal stuff again)
Drew: But thats what we heard!
Adam: (yet more scary syllables) Hey!
Amber: Im so out of the loop, I dont even know.
Adam: Youre not hip to the System Up And Down (again with the ???). Very hot, with the kids.
Amber: Im gettin old.
Adam: Amber Benson, ladies and gentlemen, is our guest tonight. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. UPN. Tuesdays, 8 oclock.
Amber: You know theres like a porno thats Muffy the Vampire Layer.
Adam: Well, you know youve arrived.
Amber: Yep. Not me. Other people, but
Adam: Well, you know the show has arrived when the porn industry-
Amber: Yeah. The show has COME. It has hit its uh- its climax. (Amber laughage)
Adam: Good! Sixth season everybody.
Amber: (beat) God, I hope its the sixth. It is the sixth, isnt it?
Adam: I was gonna say fifth, but-
Amber: It is, it is!
Adam: Okay, six. Lets talk to-
Amber: Im getting senile.
Adam: To uh Sagen?
Drew: Saigon?
Adam: Hello?
Drew: Who?
(weird over the phone background noise)
Amber: Its like playin Ozzy Osborne backwards.
Drew: Is it a guy?
Adam: Alright. Should we put em on hold?
(someone in the booth starts playing a clip of Ozzy stammering something or other, sounding out of his head I-I-I-I-I-I used to do a little screwing around with my medication)
Amber: Whos that?
Adam: Thats Ozzy.
Drew: Ozzy Osborne.
Amber: Was it? (laughs)
Adam: Who else was it?
Amber: I dunno!
Adam: See, you call it, we play it.
Amber: Wow.
Adam: Debra? Youre 24?
Debra (Caller): Yeah. I just want to say something, um- you were talking about the morning after pill and a few months ago my friend told me that she was having sex with her boyfriend when the condom broke. And she was freaking out cause shes not on the pill, and because Ive been listening to your show for eight years I knew to ask her if itd happened in the last 72 hours and got her to Planned Parenthood and got her the morning after pill. And she didnt get pregnant.
Amber: Wow.
Drew: God bless you, Debra.
Amber: You rock!
Debra: Well, God bless you guys, cause Ive been listening to you and thats how I know.
Adam: Thanks!
Drew: Ahhh, thank you. Thank you. I feel purposeful. Im comin back tomorrow night!
(Amber chuckles)
Adam: Hey, uh, I just never have heard anyone else talk about this, and it seems to be something that would make quite a positive impact on our society. And I just wonder where all the politicians are when it comes to things that could actually impact society.
Amber: Theyre still saying you cant get pregnant the first time.
Drew: Ha!
Adam: Annnyways
Amber: Abstinence!
Adam: Yeah, I told that old hag Maxine Waters about it, but she didnt know what I was talking about.
Drew: But the fact that the abstinence method and this should go hand in hand.
Amber: Yeah, totally! You cant preach one without the other, cause kids arent gonna-
Drew: The problem is theyve gone these disparate paths, and thats the hugest- to the detriment of young people.
Adam: By the way, I dont know why but I was just thinking about this the other day. Hold on a second, Debra. Remember when we had that crazy chick on from the abstinence council?
Drew: Oh, yeah.
Adam: And, uh, she said that uh, you know, heres the thing about these people: theyre religious nutjobs. They dont get laid, so they dont want anyone else to get laid. Thats the through current here.
Amber: (laughing) God forbid anybody enjoys their lives.
Adam: All the abstinent people, the people who preach this, cant get laid, so now they have a legitimate cause behind the reason they cant get laid. Theyve made it legitimate. And uh, this woman, who reminded me- kinda reminiscent of a Jane Hathaway, from the Beverly Hillbillies, had about that much sexuality to her.
Amber: Awww.
Drew: What was her bosss name?
Adam and Amber: Mr. Dreisdale!
Drew: Yes.
Adam: Yeah, I would have rather blown Mr. Dreisdale than had sex with this woman.
(Amber cackles)
Adam: But she came on the show-
Amber: Did she now?! She came on the show? (naughty giggle)
Adam: I was arguing with her about some of this stuff, and one of the things she said was that the birth control pill, that there was data to support the fact that the birth control pill, that taking the birth control pill made you more susceptible to getting HIV.
Drew: And cancer, too. She went on about it.
Adam: And I said the reason more people who get HIV are on the birth control pill is because they dont use condoms. And thats why the data would seem to suggest that they would be at a higher risk group.
Amber: Theyre not thinking about the other things you can get, yeah.
Adam: She said nope, its not the condom thing, or not only that, but she actually has data to support that the birth control pill actually weakens your immune system so that you can contract HIV. And I said, nope, you dont have any of that data. And she said, oh yes we do. And I said, well
Amber: You got in a fight with her, didnt you? (more Amber cackles, whee!)
Adam: I said well, what is that data? And she said I do not have that data here, but-
Amber: Ill fax it to you!
Adam: It is substantial. And what did I say, Drew?
Drew: Kiss my ass, if I recall.
Adam: No. I said Theres no data! If you had data youd bring it in.
Drew: No, she quoted this one guy. This one guy.
Adam: But heres my point.
Amber: There are many (something), I mean, the trials are-
Adam: I told her go back to your office, get that data and send it on in. Ill gladly read it over the air. But I know youll never do it because it doesnt exist. And she never did it, of course.
Drew: Whenever its the opinion of one person, you really should look at it with a very jaundiced point of view, because its one thing one person reporting on a discipline or lots of peoples points of view-
Amber: Well, its gonna be subjective on top of that-
Drew: But if its not an entire community supporting a particular point of view, if its one person against the world that person is up to something. Hes acting out.
Adam: Well, anyway whatever her name was, I cant remember what it is, were still waiting on that stuff.
Amber: Rebecca, I think? Oh, no, no. (Still back on Ms. Hathaway? Hehe)
Adam: Heres my thing-
Amber: The lady from abstinence
Adam: Youre lying. Shes a lying bitch. Thats what I wanted to say. Do you know what Im saying, Drew? She was lying! She was sitting there and lying. She had no data.
Drew: I dont know that.
Adam: Oh, you think that she had substantial data that she couldnt recall?
Drew: I think she- No, I think she had this one guy, this BS nonsense-
Adam: But do you think that number meant anything?
Drew: No. But I dont think she knows that. I think these people they delude themselves-
Adam: No, they know it! They know it. If they have numbers that sound good, they will memorize those numbers.
Drew: Oh, I see what youre saying.
Adam: She did not know the numbers. She knew every other number.
Drew: Right right right.
Adam: She didnt know that number.
Drew: Youre right.
Adam: Because it wasnt a number.
Amebr: Shes just trying to get her point across any way she can.
Adam: Of course. Even if it just means LYING! It is lying! So come on, liar! Call up!
Amber: Soft definition.
Adam: Call up. You got nothing, you lying bitch.
Amber: Awww, maaan!
Adam: Thats why youre not calling, you puss! Go hump your Bible!
Drew: Debra oh my God!
Amber: I dont wanna get on his bad side!
Adam: So listen! How come we dont beat on these people?! They sit here and they lie. She was lying to our face. Oh, Ill have to check that data. Thats BS, honey, youve got nothing! And we never heard from her again, so if anyones listening and they know her, tell her to send it on in. Cmon, give me that data!
Amber: Someones-
Adam: Ya lying bitch! Debra?
Debra: Hi.
Adam: Thank you.
Debra: Sure.
Adam: Theyre trying to screw us all over.
(Amber and Debra laugh)
Adam: Thats what shes doing! Weve gotta live with these kids that arent wanted. Go ahead, Debra.
Debra: Okay. Um, I started taking a diet pill, Ive taken it just a few times, and I dunno if its my imagination or not but I have uh, its sort of a pain in my lower back, when I-
Drew: Which pill?
Debra: Its called Xenadren (sp?).
Drew: Xenadran. Do not take that crap, please?
Amber: Yeah.
Drew: Isnt there ma wang (sp?) in that? Theres like ephedra (?), alright? And the stimulants can give you back pain.
Debra: Is that what it is?
Drew. Yeah.
Adam: Why? Why do stimulants-
Debra: Do you know if Allegra would give me back pain?
Drew: Allegra? Allegra should not gonna give you back pain.
Debra: Well, one of the symptoms on the website is back pain.
Drew: Heres what- almost any medication can give you back pain, it turns out. And the reason, as I understand it- listen, this is actually kinda complicated, and I have no good way of describing it with science except to say clinically, we see this all the time. And in my experience its sorta been pills that make you feel worn out
Debra: Mhmm?
Drew: -give you back pain. Its almost like, somehow your central stabilizing muscles arent working so well, and you just feel tired. Like I took Acutan for a while, and it gave me horrible back pain.
Adam: Right.
Drew: Theres like, no reason for that. It just- I was tired all the time from it.
Amber: Mhmm.
Drew: And it gave me bad back pain. We also see, Debra, back pain with stimulants, and from opiates.
Amber: Hmmm.
Drew: Okay?
Debra: And is that because it makes you tired?
Drew: Mmm, probably not. Its probably more- I just, is there- Ive always thought it was associated with, I only thought I was seeing it in addicts. Do you have alcoholism in your family somewhere?
Debra: Um, no. I uh- theres addiction, but its not alcohol, but yeah, its the same gene-
Drew: Alright, so you may have the gene. And what I think Im seeing, from that, from stimulants and opiates is something we call pain reward cycle which is when your body learns that youre gonna give it a reward, itll cause the pain that motivates you to go give yourself that reward.
Amber: Hmm.
Drew: And so thats what I think is going on.
Adam: Alright. Hey baby, uh, lay low on the carbs and get some exercise.
Debra: Thank you.
Amber: Yeah, dont take that crap!
Adam: And remember, youre not gonna change your shape that much.
Drew: Youre fat.
Adam: You just gotta find a guy that likes that.
Amber: You didnt say that.
Debra: Thank you, Adam.
Adam: Well, its true! Im taking the pressure off. Youve got a big butt, right?
Amber: Join the club. I think- thats just bein a woman, my dear.
Debra: Thank you!
Adam: There are guys who are into that, you just find one of those guys.
Amber: I cant tell you how many guys would rather go to bed with something thats got a little meat on its bones than, you know, these little stick-skeleton dead wom- girls.
Adam: Yeah, especially black guys. They love that. Listen-
Amber: You have experience with this?
Adam: Ive slept with black guys.
(Amber guffaw)
Adam: They always call me scrawny. Hey Drew, seriously-
Drew: Hey Adam!
Drew: Hey, hey!
Amber: Whoa!
Adam: Speaking of big asses, Drew. (as an aside) Im not sure about the blacks. (end aside) Have you ever met anyone whos really changed their shape, too much? Male or female?
Drew: Not without surgery.
Adam: Thank you. Thats the sad reality.
Amber: Hmmm.
Adam: I mean, think about the people that have that shape, whatever shape, good or bad, whatever your shape is, male or female, whatever shape they are- and then, you see em ten years later? Same shape. Once in a while someone loses a few pounds, looks a little bit better, but basically, everyone you know looks the same as-
Amber: The problem is that I work with actors- um, and Im not even talking about my- the show Im on now, but like, just being- doing this for ten years, Ive seen people go from looking completely normal and beautiful and healthy to little skeletons. I mean, its really, I mean- they DO change their shape.
Drew: Their shape is the same, its just the skeleton version.
Amber: The shape- exactly! Exactly.
Adam: Yeah, sure, if youre-
Amber: Its scary.
Amber: If youre put into a-
Amber: Its not worth it, either, lemme tell ya.
Adam: If youre put in a concentration camp, your shape will change.
Drew: But I think, ah, guys can change their shape more than the women can.
Adam: Yeah, cause guys go to the gym and they pump their arms up and they take a lot of creatine.
Amber: Theyre building muscle, theyre not changing shape.
Drew: Right, it just means-
Adam: Even if they end up looking like the same dude with big arms.
Amber: Yeah, and no legs. (laughs) That cracks me up, guys with big arms and nnno legs.
Adam: Yeah, I got the no arms, no penis look that women seem to enjoy.
(Amber giggles)
Adam: Peter?
Peter (Caller): Yes.
Adam: Youre 28?
Peter: Yes, sir.
Adam: Whats up?
Peter: Well, I dont seem to be as uh, sexually active as I used to be.
Drew: Alright. Whats changed?
Peter: Uh, well Ive got a couple of things going on. As far as my work, concentrating on work
Drew: What do you do for a living?
Peter: I do cable TV upgrades.
Drew: Oh, you gotta concentrate on that.
Adam: Yeah.
Drew: Thats very taxing.
Adam: Takes you on the road.
Amber: So hes kinda stressed out.
Drew: So, do you have a girlfriend? Or whatever?
Peter: No, I- Im married, Ive got three kids.
Drew: Alright.
Peter: Ive been married for seven years. When my wife and I first met, I mean, we were having sex fifteen times a day. (Here Julia coughs. Cough cough cough. Cough LIAR cough.)
Drew: Are you depressed?
Peter: Ah, not depressed, I mean, I like where Im headed in life.
Drew: And hows your relationship with your wife?
Peter: Pretty good. You know, we argue just as much as any normal couple.
Drew: Are you still attracted to her?
Peter: Yes. Very much.
Drew: Maybe youre just stressed, from working hard.
Adam: Well, hes 28, he sounds like hes 68, doesnt he?
Amber: Sounds like hes stressed out. But hes got three kids, too. Its hard to find time to, you know
Adam: Drews got three kids, hes still very virile.
(Amber giggles)
Adam: You dont believe me? Ill give you a run down during the commercial break.
Peter: Ive got this other thing going on where Ive lost the ability to smell.
Drew: Oh! Thats-
Peter: I know that has a lot to do with attraction.
Drew: No no no no no. Actually, this is quite interesting-
Adam: (making fun) No no no no no no.
Drew: Theres actually something called Calmans syndrome where you can lose sense of smell, and your testes kind of shut down. You get hypogonadism and lack of sense of smell.
(Adam makes a pained noise)
Adam: My nuts hurt just hearing that.
Amber: He needs to go to the doctor.
Drew: Yeah, and Peter, thats actually something that does need to be looked into right away. Thats an interesting, yeah-
Amber: Go to the doctor now.
Drew: This is a- the pheromone thing-
Peter: Question. Now, do I go to an ears mouth throat specialist, or-
Drew: No. You go to an endocrinologist.
Amber: Or go to your general doctor and theyll refer you.
Drew: Yeah, start with internists. But you need- its a pretty specialized thing to sort out. Um, and I would start with- use your family doctor, but then go to an endocrinologist. Thats where thats gonna be- theyre gonna sort it out.
Adam: Did he just lose the ability to smell on his own and never check into it?
(weird sniffling noise)
Drew: Ask him.
Adam: Peter?
Drew: Peter?
Amber: What was that?
Adam: Maybe hes running to the endocrinologist.
Drew: He just let it happen. Oh, there it goes I mean it could be just, sinuses
Adam: Drew, you could have used that last week when I was in here fartin up a storm.
Drew: Oh, I would have loved it.
Amber: Oh, no.
Adam: But what about the shrinking nads.
Drew: Yeah, thats kind of sad.
Adam: Let me say this real quick. Im not going on a tirade, but I just wanna say I love the fact that these cable TV companies, these rapists, are now all scrambling trying to get their acts together to put out some kind of product, when for the last twenty years theyve just been putting out this sort of sub-par product and charging everybody an arm and a leg for it.
(silly Amber giggles)
Adam: I love the fact that you guys are now scrambling, scared, losing money and having to actually do something. I hope you all go under, by the way, you idiots.
(Amber cracking up in a cutely dorky fashion)
Drew: Im gonna get the first direct broadband access from uh, Direct TV, in southern California.
Adam: Ohhh!
Drew: Thats a big deal! Im getting-
Adam: What do you mean its a big deal?
Amber: Oh, thats nnnice!
Drew: You dont use a computer.
Amber: Yeah, you can do everything.
Drew: And it just all happens (makes snapping noise) magic.
(wistful sigh from Amber scuse me while I swoon)
Drew: It goes so that a download that would take an hour takes like, three minutes.
Adam: What are you downloading?
Drew: Just yesterday I downloaded a zip file operation-
Amber: Media files.
(weird porno-esque moaning noise)
Adam: Porn! Right?
Drew: No! You would love it for that, I have no doubt, but- I-
(Amber giggles)
Adam: Whats zip?
Drew: Im doing a power point presentation next week, so- you dont understand this stuff!
Adam: You two, with your movie making and your power point presentation. Just relax! Relax.
Amber: (gushing) I looove computers. I love that stuff.
Adam: Relax, both of you.
Amber: I just lost my DSL connection, Im scaaa! (mock-sobbing type noise)
Drew: See? You may be next for the broadband. The satellite broadband.
(DoH! This is where my tape cuts out for a minute or two while the clicky sound my stereo made registered in my brain as, Aw, crap! My butt needs to get out of this chair and over there to flip that beotch over. And we come back early into the creepy semi-reformed child molestor caller)
Guy: Well, um, right now, um, Im trying to break the- find a good way to break the news to my girlfriend that I am a former juvenile sex offender.
Drew: Former.
(Amber sigh-age, a long sigh that is probably a signal of troubledness at this caller but it comes across as being really rather sultry Im so going to hell, but hey! Its Amber Julia sigh-age)
Adam: Hold on. Is this Steven Hawkings? Is he speaking through one of those like, electronic translator things?
Drew: He reminds me of that guy James that was zoophiliac (sounds like ZO-philiac when he says it) that we had.
Amber: Whats zo-philiac?
Adam: No, he reminds me of one of those guys with those boxes.
(Sound clip: This conversation can serve no purpose anymore.
Drew: Ah, animal
(Amber groans softly at this. God, this is starting to sound one of my fics, isnt it? Well, without the zoophilia.)
Drew: Aaron (callers name, it seems), so what do you mean former juvenile sex offender.
Aaron: Well, Im 19 right now. Im not a present juvenile sex offender. Im 19, Im past juvenile.
Adam: Right.
Drew: So youre still-
Adam: Well, he went- hes no longer a juvenile sex offender because hes over 18.
Drew: But I imagine, at under 18, he wasnt having sex with people over 18, it meant he was having sex with younger people, right?
Adam: Yeah, I would assume that.
Drew: How old, Aaron, were the people you were having sex with?
Aaron: (beat) Could you repeat that?
Drew: How old were the people you were offending on?
Aaron: Um, it ranged form 6 to 15.
(Amber makes a pained noise. Julia wants to hug her.)
Adam: (making an ass of himself) Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy behavior.
Amber: Not.
Drew: Yeah, how do you not do that now?
Aaron: Scuse me?
Drew: How is it youre not doing that kind of thing, or dont have that kind of impulse now?
Aaron: Well, um, when I was 14 and got caught in the act, I went to a sex offender treatment program, and you know, they beat you down, I mean, every time you check out a girl you get your monkey stomped and your brain sent back to your mother, but you know I mean, they put you through a program, and then, you know, I mean, Im one of the ones who actually changed my ways and you know, I dont have any impulses anymore, and the only problem- the only real problem I have is my problem with pornography.
Drew: And thats uh, juvenile pornography?
Aaron: Um, right now Im withdrawing.
Drew: Withdrawing from that?
Aaron: Yeah.
Drew: Did you ever get into animals or anything of that sort?
Aaron: No.
Adam: Oh, Drew, what do you mean? Hes not a sick-o. Yeah, and uh-
(Some real tasteful chap in the booth chooses this moment to play a sound cue of sheep bleating.)
Adam: Hed only jack off to veal, though, the cows were too old.
Amber: Well, usually thats somebody whos had that perpetu- you know-
Adam: Yeah, we would assume that.
Amber: (murmuring to herself) Perpetrate.
Adam: So, Aaron, you have a girlfriend now?
Aaron: Yeah.
Adam: And how old is she?
Aaron: Nineteen.
Adam: Alright. And you want to tell her about this?
Aaron: Yes.
Adam: You do?
Aaron: Well, you know, shes my girlfriend, she has a right to know.
Amber: Yeah, she does. You have to be honest with her, I mean-
Adam: Really?
Amber: Yeah, you do. I mean, this is someone he could potentially spend a long- a long time with, and she needs to be aware, you know, of what- of what he, you know, of his past.
Drew: Who he is.
Amber: Yeah, exactly.
(Adam makes a protesting noise)
Amber: Someone she could possibly have children with, you know?
Drew: Are you still in treatment, Aaron?
Aaron: Actually, no.
Drew: Are you supposed to be?
Aaron: Well, you know- (kinda laughs, not sounding real convincing here)
Drew: Oh!
Aaron: Im not, well-
Drew: Yes.
Amber: Yeah.
Aaron: Well, Im in foster care right now, but um, you know, on the 15th of November Im being released.
Drew: But arent you supposed to still be in treatment for your impulses?
Aaron: Ah, no. No, I graduated a few months ago.
Drew: You go to some kind of 12 step program?
Aaron: Actually, you know, its not really a 12 step program, its something where you have to work your way up, you know, you know its not really an easy process, and you know, sometimes you go back you know
Amber: Is there somebody following your case right now that you go see?
Aaron: Um, well, there was for quite a while, when I was still having therapy, and you know once I graduated they figured that I didnt really need to worry about that. You know
Adam: Yeah, I know. Once you got your diploma youre out of there. Its like, uh-
Aaron: Yeah, thats why theyre kicking me out.
Adam: Well, how do you feel? I mean, do you feel like youre going to re-offend?
Aaron: Oh, no.
Adam: No?
Aaron: Nah.
Drew: He said I dont know.
Aaron: No.
Adam: No, I think he said no.
Amber. No.
Aaron: I said no.
Amber and Adam: Yeah.
Adam: Thats not something you wanna do again?
Aaron: Well, its- you know, too many people get hurt in the process and you know
Amber: Damn straight. Damn straight.
Aaron: And I wont- I wont even dare go and take something from the store anymore let alone- let alone, um-
Adam: What happened to you growing up? Did somebody do this to you?
Aaron: Actually, Im one of the few that, you know, never had it happen to em.
Drew: Really?
Amber: Wow.
Drew: That doesnt make sense.
Adam: Youve gotta admire that in a way.
Drew: Were you physically abused?
Aaron: Um, yes.
Drew and Amber: Okay.
Adam: So, your dad beat on you?
Aaron: Yes, but, you know, it kind of reversed, because when I was 12 I- you know, I got tired of it and started beating the crap out of him.
Adam: Outta him?
Aaron: Yeah.
Adam: Oh, good!
Drew: Yeah, thank- yeah.
Adam: Hope you killed him.
Amber: Uhh. (disconcerted noise)
Adam: Yeah! Fine. Listen, heres uh, heres the deal
Amber: (starts to laugh) Hes gonna- he presses the button, hes gonna give me a lecture now.
Adam: Yeah, you know in uh, Frankenstein? They went up to Dr. Frankensteins castle and they basically burned him down?
Amber: Yeah.
Adam: You know what Im saying? Because he basically created this monster and then he let it loose on the village. And these parents
Amber: Yeah, but then by doing something like going after and killing somebody that abused you, you just make your- what youre dealing with even worse. You know what I mean?
Adam: Nah, Im fine with that.
Amber: (laughs) Okay.
Adam: Cause that guy could have other kids he was abusing.
Drew: The father, yeah.
Adam: You create these monsters and then you turn them loose on the world.
Amber: No, its not right. No. Its totally not right, but-
Adam: And they created this, these guys by physical or sexual abuse.
Amber: But this isnt the mo- were not living in a movie where you kill the bad guy and you miraculously dont ever think about it again.
Drew: Yeah, youre better.
Adam: No. Oh, no, hell never be the same again.
Amber: No.
Adam: Id just feel better. I- its just- its not like-
Amber: (chuckling) Well, as long as you feel better then everythings okay.
Adam: It doesnt solve the problem. Its just, why not? You know, were gonna go kill bin Ladin, hopefully, God willing, very soon. And its probably not gonna solve too much, but well all feel a little bit better. Itll be fine. We deserve that.
(music comes up like in a movie, the stirring speech background soundtrack) No problem. Anyone who, you know, sexually molests their kid, I hope someone kills them. Ive got no problem with that, whether-
Drew: Well, what about Aaron? You want somebody to kill him? And the parents of these kids he abused (I think he means parents who abuse their kids).
Adam: Ah, if someone could have put a bullet in his head before he got to-
Amber: Heyyyyy.
Adam: this six year old. I mean, if you had a six year old that this guy-
Amber: Oh, I would- I would probably be the one to go after him. Totally, if it was my child, yeah.
Adam: Yeah. Yeah. And now hes got his stuff under control-
Drew: These are very, very complex things. But I will, lets just say that people who have been sexually abused who are going down a sexually compulsive path are-
Amber: Are gonna continue without-
Drew: Well, there are treatments. And God willing, you get the treatment before somebody gets hurt. Thats the idea. And most of these treatments are around, 12 step programs, sexual addiction
Amber: Mhmm.
Drew: There are highly trained professionals out there. Its a lot of work, takes a lot of time. Aaron should still be in some kind of treatment.
Amber: Oh, I- 100%, yeah.
Drew: But somebodys gonna get hurt if he doesnt stay in some kind of treatment.
Amber: Totally.
Drew: Thank God, hes very much improved, and thats good, but hes gotta still-
Amber: But still, hes involved in pornography, and you know
Drew: Its like addiction, its a constant- constant problem.
Adam: So should he tell the girlfriend?
Amber and Drew: Yes.
Adam: Oh really?
(Amber laughs at Adam)
Adam: (not too convinced) Ahhh, alright. Really?
Amber: Adams like, No! I dont think so.
Adam: Well, I dont know look, Im sure shes assuming theres something going on with Aaron just from hangin with the guy for a little bit. Wouldnt you say?
Drew: Yeah. Id say. I hung with him for five minutes and- (shudder-y type noise) I got the feeling
Amber: Yeah. Mhmm.
Adam: Drew, what do you want to bet that Aarons girlfriend may have-
Drew: Has a history.
Adam: May have been the victim of ah-
Drew: (feigning shock) Id be shocked!
Adam: Yeah.
Amber: You gonna pull out your wallet now?
Drew and Adam: Ah, no.
Adam: Dont think we need to on this one.
Drew: Were placing the same bet.
Adam: Alright, were gonna take ourselves a break there, ah, Drew. Well talk to, ah, Lakeisha? Hello?
Lakeisha: (sounding all ghetto, a little bit like that drag character Martin Lawrence does on his show) Whats up?! Oh my god, I cant belieeeve I got on.
(Amber cracks up)
Lakeisha: Ive been on hold so long, I can not even tell you, and I was tellin that girl in there, you know, that you guys have far too little black people callin-
Drew: Now hold on, hold on
Adam: Damn, bitch!
Drew: Sounds like white people pretending to be black.
Lakeisha: Scuse me?!
Drew: Hold on, hold on.
Adam: Yeah. (sarcastic) Thats black. Yeah, uh weve got Nachilla on line 7 whos gonna talk to Lakeisha after this.
(break)
------------------
"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:27 pm
Okay, I'll shut up now. 
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:27 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:27 pm
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:28 pm
Here ya go:
Adam: Hey everybody. Loveline. Im Adam Corrola, this is Dr. Drew. Amber Benson is here tonight.
Amber: (silly voice) Hellllo.
Adam: Whos this rock band? (referring to background music)
Drew: Ive never heard this one.
Adam: Pennypuke?
Drew: Pennywise?
Adam: Oh, Pennywise. Oh, Pennypuke, thats a good name.
Amber: Lorens all shaking, shes like
Adam: Thats a good song from Pennywise. Ah, Alien Ant Farm here tomorrow night.
(gross sound cue reminiscent of Buffy slashing into some kind of demon- a very gooey, gut-filled, sloshy-noise-when-being-killed demon. Bleh. Then pukey type sound effects. Again with the bleh.)
Adam: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, UPN, Tuesday nights everybody.
(Amber giggles her geeky giggle again, subtly teasing Adam about his earlier flub when he mentioned a certain frog type network that shall not be mentioned. CoughcoughFASCISTScoughcough)
Adam: Yeah?
Amber: Yeah. No, you nailed it.
Adam: Yeah, I got it. 8 oclock.
Drew: UPN.
Amber: You staked it.
(Adorable Amber guffaw. When this girl peals into one of her laughing fits I crinkle up mah nose and giggle like a five year old. Truly infectious, our Amber.)
Adam: Alaya?
Alaya (Caller): Yeah?
Adam: Youre 17?
Alaya: Yeah, hi.
Amber: Hi.
Adam: Whats up?
Alaya: Uh, not much. Um, Ive just been wondering, ah, recently my boobs have been sore all the time. Like-
Adam: Mhmm.
Amber: Hmmm.
Alaya: Yeah. I dont know if theres something I can do, or a pill I can take, or something.
Amber: Pills.
Drew: Do you ever notice the kind of accent that southern California women have when they refer to their own breasts?
Adam: Yeah.
Drew: Say that again. Your what are sore?
(Amber and Alaya start laughin up a storm.)
Drew: Cause I find this very curious. (Shure ya do, Drew. Ya know, I think hanging out with Adam all these years has been a really bad influence on Drew.) What- what are sore?
Alaya: (playing up the so-called accent) My boooobs.
Adam: Booooobs.
Drew: Boooobs. Yeah.
Adam: Your boooooobs are sore? Yeah, and are they big? (Julia commences giving her tape player a really dirty look. A weary sigh is heard from Amber. Im right there with ya, babe.)
Alaya: Um, I-I, hmm sorta.
(You can pretty much hear Amber rolling her eyes just here, but she giggles cutely, too.)
Adam: That wasnt a great endorsement of your boobs.
Alaya: Theyre kinda- I dunno
Drew: Its b-e-w
Adam: C-cups are nice.
Drew: Okay, um are you on the birth control pill?
Alaya: No, Im not. Im on the other thing called deproprivera, like, the shot?
Amber: Ohhh.
Drew: And did that- how long have you been on that?
Alaya: Um, since July.
Drew: Have you noticed it getting worse from the shots?
Alaya: Um, yeah, recentl- Yeah, its been like the past two months.
Drew: So its possibly from the shot. Have you lost your period?
Alaya: Uh, no. Its been getting worse. Its been like, for three weeks an stuff.
Drew: So youre bleeding all the time.
Alaya: Well, not all the time. Its just like, a little bit each day for three weeks. And then its like, over.
Drew: Well, usually by- youve had your second shot of deproprevera, right?
Alaya: No, this is m- ah, first time using it. So
Drew: But youve had the second shot?
Alaya: No, not yet.
Drew: You had your first in July and you havent had your second- lets see, July, August, September, October- how come you havent had your second shot yet?
Alaya: Um, they havent called me back to the um, the doctors office yet. And they said theyd call me back when it was time.
Drew: Okay, Alaya, this is your responsibility, right?
Alaya: My boobs?
Drew: No, not your boobs.
Adam: Your booooobs.
Drew: Your birth control. You had it in July, right?
Alaya: Yes. Ah-
Drew: July?
Alaya: Yes.
Drew: August, September, October, this is-
Amber: Its time, yeah.
Drew: It has to be three months, right now.
Alaya: Yeah.
Drew: So youre due. You need to get that done. And usually by the time you get that-
Alaya: My boobs?
Adam: Pamela Anderson keeps- (something something), you idiot.
Amber: Oh!
Drew: Usually by the time you get the second shot, uh, usually the heavy bleeding settles down. In fact, usually you lose your period.
Alaya: Oh, really?
Drew: And some of the tenderness might settle down with that too with that. Um, youre not gonna let me talk to her
Adam: No. I know shes DUE (he says it dee-oooooh!) and her BOOBS (beee-oooobs) hurt.
Alaya: My boobs? (At this point Im wondering if someone in the booth hasnt just looped her voice and is making it sound like shes saying it over and over again)
Adam: Yeah, thats right. Youre booooobs. Drew, thats enough. Go back and get that shot.
Drew: There could be other things goin on.
Adam: Well, talk to the doctor when you get there.
Drew: Shes talking to me tonight.
Amber: Thats why she called.
Drew: She could have cysts. She could have- sometimes the underwire of bras irritates them and causes-
Amber: Mhmm.
Drew: Alright, and uh-
Adam: Anything else?
Drew: Is she lactating? Anything going on with-
Adam: No, she would have said that.
(Amber laughs softly)
Drew: No breast- no liquid comin outa there, right?
Adam: Is there (obnoxious voice again) mmmmilk comin out your boooobs?
Alaya: Theres nothing coming out of them.
Drew: Alright, thank you.
Adam: Yeah, go back there and get that shot and tell the doctor your booooobs hurt, okay?
Alaya: Alright, thanks. (Code for: Adam, youre such a prick)
Drew: Dont worry, its not anything serious, I guarantee it.
Alaya: Alright, thank you.
Adam: Take care.
Alaya: Alright, bye.
Adam: Bye bye. Drew guaranteed her health.
(Amber chuckles)
Drew: No, I guaranteed her boobs- boooooobs, it wont be anything serious.
Amber: Her b- (breaks off giggling)
Adam: Jerry?
Jerry (Caller): Yeah?
Adam: Youre 16?
Jerry: Thats right. Ive been having this problem, like, every time I see a girl I like, I end up getting thoughts like someone killing me.
Adam: Someone killing you?
Jerry: Yeah.
Adam: Hmmm.
Drew: Say that again now?
Amber: Wait, what?
Drew: Were having trouble tracking you.
Adam: Jerry, youre a virgin, are you?
Jerry: Yeah.
Drew: Youre 16?
Jerry: Yeah.
Adam: How come- Drew, tell me if I have ever been wrong on the voice?
Drew: Never. Virgin- or, vs. non-virgin. 100%.
Jerry: Nah, I-
Adam: Always know the virgin guys.
Jerry: No one can recognize me. Not even my sister can recognize me on the phone.
(Amber laughs)
Drew: No, hes not saying he recognizes you, Jerry. Ive never met you.
(Big geeky Amber giggles, wheee!)
Drew: But he recognized that you were a virgin.
Jerry: Oh yeah.
Drew: Okay. Are you on any medication?
Adam: Hold on a second. I wonder if chicks pick that up in some weird way, too- I mean, they have pretty good instincts that way.
Drew: Pick what up? That- that hes a virgin.
Adam: Subtly.
Amber: The pocket protector sometimes gives it away, but- (Oh, Amber! Dont do me like that. You know you love the geekish. Geek solidarity, baby! Geeky girls are the sexiest kind, hands down. And Xita, if I hear ONE word from you about Downtown, youre toast.)
Adam: Where I- where I got sent to school-
Drew: Women- womens keenest sense is for any kind of desperation. (Heh what kind of desperation?)
Amber: Mhmm. (You know it, baby.)
Drew: Thats their most keen sense.
Adam: Im just saying if Im 100% on my telling if a guy is a virgin from listening to a few words he says over the phone, when he talks to the ladies at school
Drew: Oh, sure.
Adam: Im just saying, I wonder if women have
Drew: Yeah.
Adam: That instinct Do you know what Im saying?
Amber: Sometimes. It depends on the situation.
Adam: On some sub-level.
Drew: Being a virgin is not what women clue into for closing guys out.
Adam: No, but they- they clue into his inexperience, kind of a nerdy guy. Jerry?
(Amber chuckles in the background)
Adam: Im sorry, buddy. So, you think about someone killing you?
Jerry: (sounding more and more paranoid, the poor guy) Yeah, like maybe one of her guy friends or something, I dunno I usually get these thoughts, like- last night I couldnt sleep because it kept bugging me.
Drew: Are you doing any stimulants, any drugs lately?
Jerry: Nah, no drugs.
Drew: Are you on any medication?
Jerry: No medication.
Drew: Do you have any other sorts of like, hearing voices or anything like that?
Jerry: Sometimes.
Drew: What do the voices tell you?
Adam: (whispers into mic) Youre insane!
Jerry: Nah, I just get these weird voices. But I dont- I dont know what they say.
Drew: What do the voices say?
Adam: I think- I think hes bogus.
Jerry: Im bogus?
Adam: Yeah.
Jerry: Because I usually hear them whispering something, I dunno
Drew: What do they whisper?
Jerry: I cant tell, they just whisper different things, I just-
Adam: Youre not getting laid is what theyre whispering.
Drew: Do they say- do they call your name? (beat) The voices?
Jerry: I dont- They call me a bunch of different names. Some things like I, I cant really describe. They just tell me Im gonna end up dying.
Drew: This is- hes actually describing something pretty accurate.
(Adam makes unconvinced noises in the background)
Drew: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you-
Adam: Oh, yeah. Mister 20% over here.
Drew: He- are- yeah youre right, my instincts are not very good. But he is, he is accurate in terms of what he described.
Adam: No, Im sorta with him. I- so, and so you see a beautiful girl. Lets just say, hypothetically-
Drew: Ehhh, no no no-
Adam: Just shut up here Drew. You see a beautiful woman.
Drew: This is not about that.
Adam: And you look at her.
Amber: This is about- yeah. Oh thats-
Adam: Do you immediately think that someones gonna kill you?
Jerry: Yeah, like one of her friends. One of her guy friends.
Drew: Do you have any other thoughts?
Amber: Its paranoia. (Good call.)
Drew: Any other thoughts, people coming to get you?
Jerry: Nnnnot really.
Adam: How would one of her guy friends know that you looked at her.
Jerry: Ah, wh-what happened?
Adam: How would one of her guy friends know that you were looking at her.
Jerry: Well- thats not actually true, but- I just get these thoughts like theyre gonna kill me.
Drew: Right. See, hes just having obsessive thoughts.
Amber: Hes worried, hes paranoid.
Drew: A couple of other things could be going on here, Jerry. Sometimes obsessive-compulsive disorder can come in like this. People get these intrusive thoughts about being harmed unless they engage in some specific kind of rituals. Sometimes other kinds of thought disorders, psychotic illnesses, come on around- youre a little young for it to be starting, so-
Amber: But still, I mean-
Drew: But it needs evaluation, and theres very good medication for this right now. You dont have to- its miserable if life is-
Adam: But Jerry sounds like hed be a pretty good candidate for some of the ah, medications.
Drew: Yep.
Adam: Jerry needs to go get evaluated.
Drew: Yep. For sure.
Amber: Mhmm.
Adam: For- the psychiatrist? Or start with the doctor?
Drew: Psychiatrist, so- eh, yeah, its always good to get a medical evaluation first to make sure its not some organic cause.
Amber: Mhmm.
Adam: Take care of yourself, Jerry, please.
Drew: Medical cause.
Adam: Jack?
Jack (Caller): Yep.
Adam: Youre 24?
Jack: Yeah.
Adam: You ironically have a masturbation question, (emphasizing name) Jack?
(Amber chuckles)
Amber: Ironically.
Jack: Yeah, one of many, Im sure.
Adam: Interesting.
Jack: Um, I wanted to know what the effects of masturbation are, on the level of testosterone in guys? I also wanted to know um, if like, if guys can take a sex hormone binding globulin like estrogen in order to reduce the thickness of your facial hair and acne.
Drew: Now, wait a minute. Youre confusing several things. Sex hormone binding globulin is a circulating protein, its not estrogen. Estrogen is a steroid. Okay?
Jack: Okay.
Drew: And there is a ah, is an anti-estrogen agent called Vanica that helps reduce the light facial hair on the face of women.
Adam: Dont we have Vanica on line 6?
Drew: (laughs) Yeah.
Adam: No, thats Lakeisha.
Drew: Now are you talking about what are you talking about? To take-
Jack: Well, my first question was like-
Drew: No, no- forget the first question. What is it youre asking about this- the hair?
Jack: I have really, really coarse facial hair. And I usually get ingrown hairs and acne, even at 24. And so I was reading that like, estrogen, whatever it is, binding globulins sort of attach to the testosterone so that it cant- it doesnt have the same effect on your facial hair.
(sound cue or dumbhead Adam? Tasty.
Jack: And I was wondering if there was something similar in men- males.
Drew: There are things like that out there, but- um, most of the times theyre directed at increasing hair growth. To deal with baldness, which is-
Adam: Hey, Jack?
Drew: As far as decreasing hair growth, Im not sure if theres anything like that for men. There is stuff for women.
Adam: Lemme help ya. Ive got a thick beard, myself. I get the-
Jack: I watch you all the time on The Man Show, Adam.
Adam: Thank you. Thank you, Jack. I get those ingrown hairs myself. You can- where do you get em? On your neck?
Jack. Yeah. Usually I have to dig them out with a pin.
Amber: Mmmm! (disconcerted, sympathizing, i.e. Owww!)
Drew: Thats what Adam does. Its lovely.
Adam: Yeah, you gotta dig em out, with uh, tweezers and a pin. You gotta dig em out because what they do is they- they grow in, and eventually theyll wrap around your brain. (Okay, that was actually kind of funny. Heh. But Adam still annoys the bejeezus outta me.)
(Jack laughing in the background)
Drew: But what you can do with that usually, is uh- laser.
Adam: Nah.
Drew: But thats whats usually done- for that. Laser hair r-
Adam: No-
Drew: Thats-
Adam: La, la, la, la. Done it three times.
Drew: Thats whats done for that usually.
Adam: Now hold on a second. Would you shut up?
Amber: Youre not into waxing, huh?
Adam: I saw that quack Dr. Marcell that charged me full price for his crappy laser treatment out there, by the way. What a- what a guy! He charges me full price, the son of a bitch. Comes on this show. Dr. Marcell whats up with these- with these, uh, plastic surgeons with the pinky rings, and the gold rope chain bracelets, and the porche? Were these guys real doctors?
Amber: Well, they got you to pay full price, though, didnt they?
(Amber giggling in the background)
Adam: Full price! And by the way, that was nothing but just a painful and humiliating experience. The hair grew back three weeks later, it was a complete waste of time. Yes, you can go and get procedure after procedure after procedure, and maybe itll work. Not worth it.
Amber: It takes- it takes like four, right? I-I know people that have been doing it.
Drew: It could take more
Adam: It could take a thousand. Its a big w- let me tell you something, this laser is no magic pill. Everyone made it out to be, Oooh! You get the laser! Take the laser!
(Big silly laugh from Amber)
Adam: The laser will take care of everything! The laser doesnt do squat.
Drew: Let me-
Adam: Ahhhh.
Drew: Okay. Let me finish with Jack.
Adam: Da, da- Ill tell him what to do, Im the one with the ingrown hairs.
Drew: I was gonna tell him something about his testosterone levels.
Adam: Ah, tell him about that when Im done with the hair.
Drew: Alright.
Adam: Forget about the laser.
Drew: You gotta have laser done on your faggoty self. (WTF?!)
Adam: Thank you.
Drew: Oooh!
Adam: You get the laser, you get to lie there and smell your own hair burning. And then later you smell money burning, when you throw it at the quack who performed the laser surgery on you.
(Amber giggling)
Adam: Okay, so forget about that. You get yourself one of those triple blade razors. I dont know why, it just works. Alright?
Jack: Okay.
Adam: And start shaving in the direction of the, uh- dont shave against the hair, you gotta go the direction it grows, right?
Jack: I always go against the-
Adam: Yeah.
Drew: Dont, dont go uh-
Amber: Dont go against.
Adam: Dont- whatd he just say?
(Amber laughage)
Drew: He said he always goes against.
Adam: Alright. Dont go against. Only go in the direction it grows, alright?
Jack: Okay.
Adam: Alright. And use gel. That uh, Edge gel stuff.
Jack: Yeah, I do.
Adam: It works good. And then soon as youre done, take a bunch of Oxy-10 and just slap it on there.
Drew: Also, what about the stuff the black guys use to remove the hair?
Adam: Aaah, I dunno. Use the Oxy-10. You understand?
Drew: Alright, and Jack, in terms of masturbation-
Adam: Hes never gonna do this.
Drew: If you masturbate too little (Amber is starting to giggle again) your tesosterone levels will actually drop. Theres sort of an optimum range, and then you get the Corolla syndrome, and-
Adam: For me its four times a day.
Drew: Corolla, ah- plateau. Ah, then you fall off the other side and start actually decreasing your testosterone levels with excessive masturbation.
Adam: Okay.
Amber: Just overdone it.
Adam: Alright. Were gonna take ourselves a little break here. You dont want to talk to Lakeisha? Lakeisha? (silence) Uh oh. Lakeisha has fallen asleep. Lakeisha McEvil?
Amber: (awww, this is so cute she sounds all tentative and sweet and little girlish) Hello?
Lakeisha: Excuse me, Im here. Sorry about that, yall be keepin me on hold for a long time, you know, I just thought maybe you wasnt gonna come back or whatever but I just wanted to, you know, say a couple quick things. I aint gonna, you know, eat up yo time, you know what Im sayin?
Adam: Alright. Go right ahead.
Lakeisha: Well, first of all, Amber, you are, you know, you just are amazing, and I-
Amber: Awww, thank you.
Lakeisha: Ah, just a quick question for you about maybe the crew of Buffy. I was wondering if maybe there was any particular cast member, you know, that you click with?
Amber: Um, gosh. I-I work with really cool people
Adam: She said she hated em all.
Amber: But- I, I
Adam: During the commercial.
Amber: Yeah! Oh, I hate em all, no- I really love Michelle Trachtenburg. She is just like, my- my little sister.
Lakeisha: Yeah, thats cool. Thats really cool. You know, I love Buffy and you know, I was reading an article the other day about how they were saying that, you know, that uh, Buffy is like, six years old, or whatever, and its still producing really good product. And thats just really rare, you know, for like a teen show, you know what Im sayin? Yall still be having good scripts, whatever. You know what Im saying?
Amber: Mhmm. Were really lucky, we have great writers. And uh-
Lakeisha: Thats awesome, thats really awesome, and then I had a quick question for Adam, uh-
Adam: (still as amused with Lakeisha as ever) Yeah.
Lakeisha: Adam, some sexual techniques that I would-
Adam: (being kind of an ass) Yeah. Sure, yeah go ahead-
Lakeisha: Excuse me?
Adam: Go ahead, I wanna-
Lakeisha: Some sexual techniques that I was unfamiliar with.
Adam: Uh huh.
Lakeisha: And I was wondering if you could help me out with em, cause there was two of em, and my friends and I was discussin this and we could not, you know what Im sayin, we couldnt figure out. So-
(Sound cue: Beeeeatttcccchhhhhhh!)
Lakeisha: One of em is a filthy Sanchez.
Adam: Riiiiight.
Amber: A what?
Lakeisha: What is that?
Drew: Well, well talk about it when we get back from the break. What was the other?
Lakeisha: Hold on, Dr. Drew, Im sorry, but its always you ruinin all the fun. You know-
Drew: Thats my job!
(Amber cackleage)
Drew: That is my job.
Lakeisha: Youre always killin the fun.
Drew: That is my job.
Lakeisha: A filthy Sanchez, okay-
Drew: Weve got different jobs here, thats mine.
Lakeisha: The other one is a hot Carl. You know?
Drew and Adam: A hot Carl.
Drew: Alright. Alright.
Lakeisha: Yeah.
Drew: Hold on, well talk about it.
Adam: Alright, when we come back
(break)
Adam: Alrighty, a little more Loveline to go. Amber Benson is our guest tonight.
Amber: Yep sirree Bob.
Adam: Buffy the Vapmire Slayer, UPN, Tuesday night, 8 oclock.
Amber: Does that annoy you? Having to say that over and over and over again?
Adam and Drew: Nope.
Adam: Its my pleasure.
Amber: Hee! Thank you.
Adam: Sure. Alright, lets uh- burn through some calls.
Drew: We were just answering the questions from um-
Adam: Oh, thats right. Dirty Sanchez. Howd that dirty Sanchez go, Drew?
Drew: I dont remember.
Adam: Somethin about uh-
Drew: A stool and mustaches.
Adam: The stool and the mustache and uh, maybe thats where the sand g-
Amber: Awww.
Adam: I always called it a dirty Sanchez, never called it a filthy Sanchez.
Drew: And hot Carl we dont know.
Adam: Hot Carl not aware of that one.
Drew: Okay.
Adam: So were really of uh, little help. Ah
(Amber giggles)
Adam: Lets burn through some calls here. Kate? 25? (beat) You-
Kate: Hi.
Adam: You wanna know if you should see your psychologist even though you freaked out last time?
Kate: No, she freaked out.
Adam: Oh, whatd she do?
Drew: Whatd-
Kate: Um, well, I was trying to- Ive only like, seen her like, four times. I was trying to um, like, reschedule an appointment and she said- I guess her receptionist said that there was no way, that they would have to bill me anyway, and this was kind of an emergency, so it was something I really needed to cancel for. I went in anyway and she just said, you know, I said, Well, I completely understand, I mean, your time is your money. And I went ahead and went in, and she started going down her list of people that had tried to cancel that day and just freakin out, and she was into ah- You know, you guys complain about your kids, I dont have kids. You complain about your husbands, I dont even have a husband.
Adam: Alright.
Amber: She needs a therapist!
Adam: Go- go somewhere else.
Amber: Yeah.
Adam: Find a new one. Thats alright. And dont go to a chick psychologist.
Kate: You would love her, though- she had a great boob job.
Amber: Heyyyy.
Adam: No, you-
Drew: She had a great boob job? Oh boy.
Adam: Chick psycholo- let me tell you something. Chick psychologists are a little nutty. Male psychologists are nutty, too, but- chick psychologists are nutty-
Amber: Theyre allllll nutsy.
Drew: I think the women, when theyre doing it right, do that job better than anybody.
Adam: Right.
Drew: Because
Adam: They never do it right.
Amber: It requires that maternal, like
Drew: Requires that attunement that women have the capacity for that-
Amber: Yeah, yeah- that sensitivity.
Drew: Its attunement, that they can really see where you are emotionally, and men-
Amber: Mhmm.
Drew: We dont do that so well. We can, but we dont do it as well as women.
Adam: (Ever the nay-sayer) Ahhhh.
Kate: So, find somebody else?
Drew: Yes.
Amber: Yeah.
Adam: Sure.
Kate: Out here where I live its really hard-
Drew: Where you live?
Kate: Ah, Hawaii.
Drew: Where?
Adam: Speak to the volcano god.
Drew: Wait, no, you live in Hawaii, theres gotta be tons of therapists out there.
Amber: Yeah.
Adam: Really?
Drew: Are you kidding? People love to live out there. No, no! I cant live in Hawaii if I want to become a therapist, oh, no, thats ah-
Adam: Those islanders dont go to see shrinks. They just pray to ah, false idols.
Drew: They need shrinks out there.
Amber: (Bless her) Pele, the volcano goddess. (Girl after my own heart, sniff sniff. Yes, lets all go listen to Tori now together!)
Adam: Well, they need em, but theyre so busy uh, eating spam and uh- doing that flame dance, that they-
Amber: What?!
Adam: They love spam over there.
Drew: Fried spam.
Adam: Its kinda how you know where the culture is, by the way-
Amber: Its fried Snickers bars in Scotland.
Drew and Adam: (all interested) What?
Amber: They bread and like, deep fry Snickers bars.
Drew: What?!
Amber: Yep.
Adam: That I could kinda get into.
(Amber laughage)
Drew: Very interesting.
Amber: They deep fry everything.
Adam: Alright, find a new one. You dont need a uh, shrink thats nuttier than you are. Travis?
Travis (Caller): Yeah.
Adam: Youre 17. You ah, you orgasm in massive amounts?
Travis: Yeah, I just had sex like, four days ago. (Four days, seven hours, and thirty two minutes ago?)
Adam: Mhmm.
Travis: And like, I come like massive amounts and it hurts really bad, its like I just wanted to know whats wrong.
Drew: Where does it hurt?
Travis: Just like, when it comes out, like, the whole penis.
Drew: It burns?
Travis: Yeah.
Adam: Oh, yeah. Thats pretty bad if its like-
Amber: Sounds like
Drew: Does it hurt when you pee?
Travis: No.
Drew: Justsemen burns. Now, what does massive amounts mean?
(Yet another classy sound cue, lots of liquid splashing)
Travis: Its like a lot, like, more than normal.
Drew: For you, more than normal?
Travis: Yeah.
Drew: So, all of a sudden theres a lot more.
Travis. Yeah.
Adam: No, he doesnt mean that. He doesnt mean all of the sudden threes a lot more. He means more- he just means a lot more than the average guy. Right?
Drew: How does he know what the average guy puts out?
Adam: Ah, I mean, I know.
(Amber laughs)
Drew: Yeah, but does HE know. I know YOU know.
Adam: Travis? Did more start coming out of you recently, or was it always that way?
Travis: Recently.
Adam: Oooh.
Drew: See?
Adam: So, you upped your-
Amber: (gives us a lil preview to next weeks musical episode and sings a little bit, ominously) Da da da dum
Adam: production.
Travis: Yeah, I yeah.
Amber: Sounds like hes got, like- hes come across something.
Drew: No, I dont know what this is. I dont know.
Amber: Could it be-
Drew: But if it hurts, it needs to be looked into
Amber: Yeah.
Adam: Well, focus on the pain part, and maybe its a sexually transmitted disease. Although if it hurt when he urinated, it probably
Drew: Yeah. Its possible. Then I also wonder if hes talking about discharge instead of semen- you never know with these guys our callers.
(Heeheehee! Amber snorted this cute laughy little snort. That was way too cute. I like her way too much.)
Adam: Well, the first- my first shot is always pus
Drew: Yeah, me too.
Adam: And then second one is semen, the actual semen.
Drew: No, I mean my first guess with these guys. (Well, thats a relief.)
(Amber is crackin up now)
Drew: Not that I actually put out-
Adam: Now, when Im with the ladies, at first is pus, then semen, then urine.
Amber: And then blood.
Drew: And then youre sold.
Adam: And then sawdust comes out. Then kitty litter. And then my soul.
Drew: How bout the POW flag?
Adam: Oh, then that flag, yeah. From Laugh In. It just says BANG on it. Actually, it says semen. Alright, well take a little break. Well be right back.
(break)
Adam: Well, there it is. Where did the time go, everybody? I want to thank Amber Benson for coming in here tonight, and uh pimpin the Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Amber: Thank you guys for having me. (Julia snorts. Yeah! They wish. But dont we all.)
Adam: Always good to see you.
Amber: You guys are fun.
Adam: Yeah, youre a fun guest and were glad to have you. Come back anytime.
Amber: Thank you. Very much.
Adam: Bring your mom.
(uncomfortable silence)
Amber: Thaaaanks.
Adam: Okay.
(They both laugh)
Adam: Alien Ant Farm tomorrow night, everybody, and this is Adam Corrola for Dr. Drew saying mahala.
(Sound cue: The Ozzy clip again, with him stuttering, then a clip of Drew from earlier in the evening looped as he too stutters. Think Dr. Drew doing an impression of Elmer Fudd: The uh-buh-duh-uh, buh-duh-uh abstinence message)
Time for Julia to go through Amber withdrawal now, but at least its Tuesday night and there is brand new Willow-Tara goodness on the way. Thats all folks!
------------------
"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"
I
by Unregistered(d) » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:28 pm
Btw: You had me rolling on the floor with all your extra comments - literally!!
I
by Tara Maclay » Tue Mar 26, 2002 8:30 pm
I
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 24 guests