In Remembrance of Tara Maclay, 1980-2002

[WebWarlock]

Please. This is not meant to be morbid.

Note: I put her "birth" year instead of the year she appeared on TV (1999) because I feel she deserves more than just being remembered as Willow's girlfriend.

Should we have a funeral for Tara?

We are never going to see one on TV, because well she was not important to ME and I wouldn't be watching anyway.

But I think some of us need that kind of release. A chance to share what was good before it was so horribly taken away.
A chance to remember what she meant to each one of us. Why she touched us.

I would like to suggest Friday, as part of the daily thread. Or maybe the mods can allow a special new thread.

Let the lurkers, trolls and moles come in. I am sure it will do them no end of good to watch our pain and then mock us on other boards. But while they do I hope that they will remember that Kittens would be the last people to do that on their boards if it was one of their characters. Let 'em post the whole damn thing to the usenet for all I care.

This is not about them. It is about us.

Thoughts?

Warlock

[Sheridan]

I had wondered if we shouldn't have some memorial, but i held off suggesting it as there was still the slim chance that they would change their minds. I know many here are going to go and ignore what ME did, but I saw it and I can't forget it, I feel the need for some act of mourning before I can move on.

[emma peel]

I, too would like some kind of memorial. We owe it to her.

Janice

[Lindy]

Well.. I think it's appropriate, part of the mourning process. And important to all of us as a closure.. I couldn't care less about ME's closure, if they have to offer one in season 7, but I think [i:d5484f3ab2] we[/i:d5484f3ab2] need one.. here.

[Lonewolf22]

Emma Peel: You're right we do owe to her, that and so much more. I think a memorial would be a good idea, what time on friday?

We will never, ever forget what Tara meant to us.

I miss her so much. The world just seems darker without her here.

Lonewolf

[AmberBensonRockzMyWorld]

I'm all for the idea of a memorial. I think that it would be a nice gesture to show are love for Tara. Tara lives on in my heart and she always will, I loved her as if she was an actual person. Maybe because I am weird like that, I don't know. But I am defianatly all for the idea.
Much Love,
Lisa

I / Amber 4 Life

[WebWarlock]

Ok.

All day Friday.

I suggested Friday to give all Kittens a chance to come and to get their thoughts together.

Thursday night, I'll put together an invitation.

Too bad I have experience doing this.

ADDED: Does anyone feel qualified enough to do a Wiccan Rite of Passing? ME may not have any respect for wicca (or Tara for that matter) but we won't emulate them.

Warlock

[hellmouthhottie20]

I think its a brilliant idea web warlock.

It doesent look like there is going to be one on the show (next season)
I will be here for it.
Thank you

[Kieli]

I am in the process of putting together a sort of memorial scrapbook for Tara.....it has kanji characters that symbolize "peace" and "tranquility" on the cover and it has old style binding and parchment paper. I was thinking of handwriting out the supportive posts from the Amber Benson support thread to add to it but wonder if xita will allow that. Would anyone like to help me fill it up? If so, email me at kieli@taoist-life.net

Toni

[b:2101d82c1a] edited to add:[/b:2101d82c1a] Has anyone said for sure if Amber will still get fan mail and such from UPN? Please let me know. THanks!

[Killin Joke]

Now this is what I call "respect"... Whatever gets decided, I'll pay my respects too...

[tyche]

Excellent idea. Sad we're treating the character with more respect than Joss and ME did.

[VampNo12]

WebWarlock the memorial is an excellent idea, and maybe this will get that horrid image of Tara being carried away in a body bag. ME might not know or care how to treat Tara, but at least us kittens can give her the proper respect she rightfully deserves.

[murph the smurf]

Excellent idea WebWarlock. This will give us all a way to grieve and mourn. It makes me so angry and upset that ME have showed so little thought for their own character. We will give her memory the respect it deserves.

[AgentOrange]

I had started a memorium forum at yahoo, and i think some of you are on the lsit...but somehow it doesn't seem quite enough. The idea of a memorial for Tara is very sweet, and if you'd like I can do a wiccan memorial piece for Tara. Let me know.

agento@shaw.ca

I found a nice wiccan memorial a while back, and think with a few alterations it might work.

[Lisa of Nine]

I would be honored to post a version of the passing ceremony I used in "Reward and Reprisal." I wrote it using actual Wiccan concepts, and it was designed to help Jenny gently pass over with love. Given the way M.E. killed Tara, I think it is fitting.
Lisa

[Vampire Willow]

With the events of "seeing red" I couldn't sleep all that week. And Am still finding it difficult to relax knowing that Tara is gone. If it would be okay, I would like to-maybe at the ceremony/post-use some of my poetry. It is mostly about Tara's passing. So you all can check it out and see if it fits. It is in the "Poetry by BloodysGirl" thread. I know I'm not "BloodysGirl" but I was. My account got cancelled. Long story, don't ask. So take a look at my work and see if it might fit with the ceremony.
~Willow

[WebWarlock]

Thank you all. I had no idea how this would be received.

So Friday post your thoughts about Tara here. I am going to work up an invitation tonight.

I am sure we are going to get a lot of trolls, moles, and lurkers here. Some of whom will run back to their little boards so that they can talk about us "crazy kittens". I say let them come. People will see that we are sincere and honest in our grief. They will see posts that reflect love, not hate or malice.

I was not here in the beginning, the early days when things were good and we had promises not to worry. I do know this, the Kitten came about because of love. A love celebrated and shared. THAT is what I want to see on Friday, love. No angry rants or recriminations. We have threads aplenty for that.

This is going to be about the heart and soul of our home; the love of Willow and Tara.

We will give Tara the best memorial we can. I will honor her memory in way that she deserves, with honor, grace, and love.

Make it heartfelt, this is our last chance.

Warlock

[Saena]

I really love the emotion on this board. At my youth group's meeting today, I was telling my friends about the grief, depression, and anxiety I was feeling while watching the finale last night, and even though the people there were supportive, I still felt a little silly. It's good to know I can come to a site where there are people who feel the same way. (Emotional, not silly )

I fully respect and agree with the idea of a Tara funeral/memorial. It would honor her beautifully, and we can't let her character's life go away without recognizing it. I will try to be here on Friday, but that depends on whether or not I can get on the board. I've been pretty busy but I was eager to get on and talk with people about Tara and the finale and Buffy in general.

Take it easy everyone

[ninjitsugrrl]

I am glad to see this thread. What a wonderful idea. I too was sad that no type of memorial was shown on the show. It looks like we will have a good presence at the board on Friday. I know I will be there.

[Shinnen]

I'm glad you started this thread, Warlock. I think Tara deserves that and more as someone more than just Willow's girlfriend.

Is there anything I can do to um... help?

[Italiangirl]

Warlock, this is a wonderful, moving, loving suggestion, and I'm glad you made it.

I think it will be cathartic for a lot of kittens, too.

You're great. Just wanted you to know.

Italiangirl

[Hemiola]

Just a small thing: I seem to recall it being mentioned [i:270a3ae9c0] somewhere[/i:270a3ae9c0] (on the show? in the comics? in one of the novels?) that Tara is [i:270a3ae9c0] older[/i:270a3ae9c0] than Willow by one or two years.

So shouldn't her birthday be something like 1980 or 1979??

[Kalita]

Hemiola has a good point. Her 20th birthday was during "Family", aired in November 2000; shouldn't that be 1980-2002, then?

[The Next Tara Maclay]

This is a good idea. It will show EVERYONE. That we wont forget Tara. We'll always love Tara and she will be with us forever. I lit a candle last night and put it in the backyard to remember Tara and I blew it out before I went to bed.

[murph the smurf]

After SR aired I read a post that moved me so deeply I cried. I feel terrible because I can't remember who posted it. The author had written an altered version of W.H. Auden's "Stop all the clocks." It truly was a beautiful piece of writing and was such a fitting tribute to Tara.

Does anyone know who made the post? I've been trying to track it down but it's making me crosseyed trying to read through all the threads.

I think that if the author was willing, it would be a very fitting addition to our Rememberance Day. Also reposting it in this thread would allow it to help more Kittens in their grieving process. I know it helped me immensely.

[concrete]

Hope I'm not speaking before my turn but here is a link

[murph the smurf]

Thank you so much [b:9e72ebcf18] concrete[/b:9e72ebcf18]. I appreciate it hugely. This is without doubt one of the best adaptations I've ever read.

[WebWarlock]

Let me point out that I did not write either of those.

I stole the Auden one from here. And well, the Hendrix one was Jimi, I just renamed it.

Well, I have gotten a few emails telling me how crazy I am or how this is stupid idea. Maybe they are right. But I really don't care.

More than the yelling, the screaming, the angry rants and posts, this has made me [b:a9a98d7b66] feel[/b:a9a98d7b66] better.

So come and say something if you want, and if not, well I will miss your voice.

Warlock

[murph the smurf]

WebWarlock - don't worry about the naysayers. The people who don't want to participate don't have to. The important thing is that people are able to do what is right for them and what they [b:71298e286a] need[/b:71298e286a] to do.

I commend you for your strong convictions and I for one will be right beside you.

The Kitten is all about finding a place where you can converse with people who feel the same way you do. That's why we have so many diverse threads. This one is no less valid than any of the others.

Thanks for doing this WebWarlock, it has made me feel better too.

[Dave V]

WebWarlock, do what you have to do.