Alyson Hannigan
Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s kindly witch with her dark side.
When it comes to curing the blues, women tend to opt for the shopping spree. At least that’s what Alyson Hannigan had in mind a few days after reading in an entertainment magazine that Buffy the Vampire Slayer – and hence, Alyson’s Wiccan-lesbian-hotpot character Willow-was being put to rest.
Alyson remained in good enough spirits, however, to invite FHM to join her on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, CA, before answering the obligatory 50 questions. Following stops at Tower Records (where she bought every one of our suggestions to the tune of a dozen), the Puma store, Guess and a candy shop, the 29-year-old Washington, DC, native seems to have put the sad news completely behind her. When we pop into the local Hooters for a break, she even jokes about getting her next job there. “I know I’m small-breasted, “ she says, “but they’re still nice!”
1. How did the first conversation with SMG go after you found out she was putting the fork in Buffy?
It wasn’t that big of a surprise, but finding out from a magazine article – that sucked. I’m really upset that that’s the way the cast and crew found out they would be unemployed.
2. Did Sarah apologize?
No. She hasn’t said anything.
3. If you had to choose, which of the Buffy babes would you most like to get down and dirty with?
Eliza Dushku. They’re all hot, but she’s really fun and outrageous.
4. The end of season five featured a lesbian love scene between you and Amber Benson. Come clean: Was that your first same-sex experience?
In college I probably kissed a couple of girls or something.
5. Probably? That means you did.
Well, it wasn’t a life-altering experience. It was more of a party thing and it wasn’t that memorable. It must have been the chick.
6. Do you have trouble with “magical” fans who can’t seem to comprehend that it’s just a TV show?
Little kids call me Willow, which is fine. They’re kids, so you can’t blame them. With the American Pie fans, there’s the typical smart aleck: “hee, hee, hee. Band camp!”
7. Do you guys have an end-of-Buffy slumber party planned?
That’s a good idea. I’m sure we’ll have a wrap party, but I’m thinking about throwing my own soiree. Wrap parties end up being 500 people, and you only know who 10 percent of them anyway.
8. What is the sexiest piece of clothing you own?
I have this sexy see-through robe with a built-in boa.
9. When was the last time you watched a dirty movie?
I got satellite TV and wanted all the movie channels, so I called up DirecTV. They can see what you’re watching, and the service guy was this sweet, polite Southerner. I clicked to a channel and it was a hardcore penetration scene. He was mortified. It was hilarious.
10. Have you ever had sex on the Buffy set?
No. Some of the other crew members have, but I’m not saying who.
11. What is the definition of handfasting?
Handfasting? I have no idea. It sounds like something you do with a man’s unit.
Close. It’s a Wiccan wedding ceremony.
Oops.
12. Whose ass would you really like to kick?
(pointing to an elderly passerby on the street) That guy’s!
13. Being that we’re here at Hooters, what’s your best suggestion for the best way to hide camel-toe?
Hooter’s girls wear those God-awful tights, which seem to do the job. Wearing the shorts without the tights would totally reveal camel-toe. But b/c the tights are so tight, it smushes any sort of camel-toe and keeps it Barbie-like.
14. What celebrity was the biggest disappointment to meet?
I’m a huge Tom Jones fan, and he was such a prick. He was waiting for his wife to get out of the store. Thinking he would be honored that someone my age would even knew who the hell he was, I went up to him. He was like, “yeah, uh-huh, whatever,” I thought “you dick. Well I’ll never throw my panties at you asshole!” Going back to whose ass I want to kick: Tom Jones.
15. When is it appropriate to call a guy a bitch?
Always.
16. When you were filming American Wedding, the third installment of the American Pie trilogy, did Sean William Scott try to grab a handful or pull any Stiffler like slimeball antics?
Oh my God, Seann is so sweet. He is the nicest guy in the world and so different from Stiffler. But we all grab each other, of course. Seann hits Jason Biggs in the balls a lot. The guys are always trying to outsmack each other in the balls.
17. Clever, You’ve always bee associated with a sort of book smart sexuality. Was is liberating to get naughty for the FHM cover shoot?
It was. It’s a good time to say, “Goodbye Willow, “ and hello to whatever else is coming up. On the shoot, I got in to a different character, like, “Hi! I’m a little sexpot who walks around in lingerie all day.”
18. Any surprises happen on the shoot?
I got pebbles stuck on my ass- that was surprising. I was wearing a thong and sitting on this dungeon bench that was quite dirty. I got up, and there were all these little baby rocks on my ass.
19. Did a teamster have to come up and pick the pebbles out?
No, I handled it myself.
20. What are your best moves on the dance floor?
My best moves on the dance floor are when I leave the dance floor. I’m not a great dancer, I tend to be a little spastic.
21. What’s your favorite part of your body and why?
I like my eyes a lot. I have really good vision and I like the color. They change colors a lot. It’s ever surprising.
22. What body part does everybody else like?
A lot of people like my belly and my hair.
23. What’s the lamest acting role you’ve ever been offered?
After American Pie, I was offered every dork role in all the teen movies. It was like, “First of all this is a crappy movie, and second of all ,this is a crappy part.” I was in a great movie and I had a great part, so why would I go back?
24. You have 15 seconds to clear up any rumors you’ve heard about yourself.
I’m not dead. That was a rumor I heard years ago, but its wrong.
25. A night at a strip club: fun, sexy turn-on or grounds for a breakup?
Fun, sexy turn-on!
26. When was the last time you made a guy cry?
On the set of American Wedding. I wanted to be one of the guys, and there was this huge spatula on the set. Jason was juggling lemons and I snuck up and whacked him- I really got one of his balls. He welled up, but he was happy for me and admitted, “That was a great one!”
27. Can you tell us what a 7-10 split is?
Sex on the 710 freeway?
28. Good answer, but no. It’s when after you first roll in bowling, the last pins on both sides remain standing. What’s your policy on car sex?
Yes, please!
29. Guys with expensive, flashy cars: big dicks or none at all?
30 percent have big dicks and 70 percent are making up for inadequacies.
30. Who is your reserve celebrity hook up – the guy your man would have to let you sleep with if you had the chance?
Jude Law.
31. Who would you let him have?
Halle Berry. It’s hard to compete with Halle Berry.
32. Have you ever seen a dead body?
No, but when we were filming American Wedding, two cadavers for a spinal cord seminar or something were in a trailer next to makeup. Jason Biggs went in and took Polaroids with the cadavers.
33. Please take this opportunity to trash anyone who has ever dissed you.
When I was 4 years old, my ballet teacher, Mrs. T., was such a bitch to me. That’s why I never took ballet again. She can just fuck off!
34. If you could hold any world record, what would it be?
I would want the record for speaking the most languages.
How many do you speak now?
One.
35. Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 as a lover.
10.
36. What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told?
That I’m a 10. Nah, I’m just kidding – that’s not a lie.
37. What was the last thing you got away with stealing?
I stole a T-shirt many years ago. It was the kind that changes color with your body temperature. That night, I got pulled over for speeding and thought “Oh my God, it’s karma.” I started praying, “If I get away with this, I promise I’ll never steal again.” And I got out of the ticket. So the next day I went back to the store, snuck into the dressing room and left the T-shirt.
38. If FHM rummaged through your drawers, what would we be surprised to find?
Lots of candy. Right now I’m obsessed with Nerds and Nerds Ropes – those are Nerds on gummy rope. I have some in my car and in the kitchen pantry, and a box in my closet for when I need a sugar fix.
39. What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever tried?
Acting.
40. What’s the closest you’ve ever come to dying?
I swallowed my retainer when I was a kid. I would flip it around in my mouth, and one time it went down my throat and got lodged. I fell to the floor and they called the paramedics. I think one of my friends finally got it out.
41. Share a beauty secret with FHM.
Be happy.
42. Dorito chip, landing strip, or Brazilian?
Brazilian.
43. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
My big toe. You know, you’re bored and want to see what you can do with your body parts.
44. Excellent! But rat yourself as a driver.
I’m a pretty good driver. I got a ticket for reckless driving once. This guy ahead of me was being a total idiot, so I did the gutter jump-that’s when you pass on the right where the parked cars would be.
45. have you ever saved anyone’s life?
I have! When I was a kid. I was swimming at a lake with a friend who was just learning. I would toss the life preserver, and we would swim to it and come back. Then a boat came by and the waves made it go too far. She panicked and went under, taking me down. But I got my head up, grabbed the ladder on the dock, reached down and got her.
46. Can “it” ever go on too long?
If you’re not with the right person.
47. Your singing in the all musical episode of Buffy was critically panned. Do you have a rebuttal?
I totally agree! I begged the producer not to make me sing. I sang only two lines except for the chorus stuff. I am by no means a singer.
48. What is the right amount of sex?
When your muscles never recover, so that you always have a persistent aching muscle of some sort. When the next day you’re like, “Why is that muscle hurting? Oh yeah, that’s why.”
49. If you could have sex with any historical figure, who would it be?
Napoleon, to see what the complex was all about.
50. What the best way to say goodbye?
With a hug.
Mozilla : One Browser to Rule Them All.
Interesting interview, some of the questions seem designed to try and get her to get her to diss some dirt, but she steers clear of it admirably by giving neutral or funny replies instead, though Tom Jones might not agree. 
, it takes A LOT of work to make Aly look bad. 
. *Sigh* She's quite amusing and honest. It's great to see. Damn I love her. 
) but I thought that incorporated a "landing strip."