I'm going to give this my best shot. I remember some parts/things better than others (second act was especially a blur) -- so there are definately some big gaps. There was also a lot of jumping back and forth (which isn't helping my memory)....and it will probably seem very disjointed in my retelling, but I promise that it worked on film and all made perfect sense!
First of all, to answer Jana....I found Ted very likable. Although it's implied that he's dated a lot of girls, you don't get the sense he's a womanizer, and definately not a chauvinist. Seems like a nice, decent, fairly-charming guy who just hasn't met anyone he wanted to get really serious about.
Barney is the obnoxious, arrogant, confirmed bachelor. Thinks he's a player -- gets shaves at a barber shop while talking on his cell phone, has an obsession with suits (he's *always* in a three-piece suit), and has this theory that Lebanese girls are the new Amer-Asians. He is the Politically-Incorrect-Character -- 180 degrees from nice guys Ted and Marshall. You get the feeling that he tests Lily's patience on a regular basis, and they've butted heads many times over the years. In real life, you'd hate Barney, but he's so over-the-top (and little *odd*) -- and Neil Patrick Harris is SO FUNNY -- you can't not-laugh at him.
Marshall was a virgin when he met & began dating Lily as freshmen. She's the only girl he's ever dated, and he's taken some flak for that -- mostly from Barney, but Ted, too -- as well as generally playing it safe in life. He's very sweet & sincere, but also awkward/clumsy, a little insecure/neurotic. I thought Jason Segel and Aly had very good chemistry! It's not fireworks kind of chemistry (that's not where the characters are), but I thought Marshall & Lily were very cute, and funny together. I bought that they were a long-time couple.
THE EPISODE:
We're given the explanation of Ted, Marshall & Lily's history/friendship in the cold opening, when middle-aged Ted starts telling his kids this story (and they also sorta recap their history in voiceover during the opening credits). The live action begins with Marshall & Ted in their apartment right after Marshall has told Ted he's going to propose to Lily. Ted says that's great, he's happy for them, etc. Marshall has planned to cook a romantic dinner, shows Ted the ring, and asks if he thinks Lily will like it. Ted assures Marshall that she will, and jokes that she's going to be so happy, period, she'd probably jump him right there in the kitchen. There's a long pause, and then he adds: "Don't have sex on our kitchen floor."
Ted meets up for drinks with Barney and complains that he's not even close to meeting "the one" and falling in love, while Lily & Marshall are about to settle down. He thought he'd have this all together by this age (27). Barney thinks Marshall is insane for proposing, and Ted shouldn't be worrying about this. He suggests that maybe they need to play "Have you met Ted?" to get his mind off it (which Ted does NOT want to do) --Barney asks random girls standing at the bar, "Have you met Ted?", then quickly walks away, leaving the girl looking expectantly at Ted to say something. We see this in flashback, and then Barney does it to him in real-time. We also get a quick flashback in there about how Ted & Barney met in college. Barney just came up to Ted one night in the bar when they were both drunk, put his arm around his shoulders, and told him he should shave and start wearing suits. (Ted has a goatee in the flashback). And then announced he would be "looking out" for Ted from then on.
Meanwhile, back at the apartment -- Lily arrives after work. Marshall asks how her day was from the kitchen. She says fine (as she begins to take off her jacket) "But finger-painting got a little out of control, and a five-year-old got to second base." (There's a little purple hand-print on one breast). She's surprised -- and looks a little concerned -- that Marshall is cooking, and asks what's up. He says he's making a romantic dinner for her and has a surprise.
Flips back to the bar, where once again Ted is bending Barney's ear about his situation. He wishes he could find "her", the one -- he would turn around and she'd just *be there*. He turns around....and standing across the bar, is this stunning brunette. (As I mentioned before, I think the actresses name is Kara-Something, but for the life of me, I cannot remember the character's name! So, I'm just going to call her "Jane"). She glances around, sees Ted staring at her, and smiles back. It goes into a freeze-frame voiceover with Ted, "And there she was...." He goes off on overly romantic-jag about how beautiful and perfect she is, the kind of girl you could...it *scratches* back (record-scratch) to real-time and Barney saying, "Now that's the kind of girl you know would-- " insert lewd, but funny remark. I don't remember what he said, but it got a big laugh -- it was such a contrast to what Ted was thinking.
She comes over to the bar to order a drink. I think Barney pulls a Have You Met Ted? -- they start talking, and have *instant* chemistry. He comments that they're getting the evil eye from her friends (who are sitting across the bar at booth). "Jane" explains that they're meeting for drinks because one of the friends just got dumped/cheated on, so they don't really want to see her over here talking to some guy. He offers to let her throw a drink in his face afterward -- to save-face with her friends -- if she'll stay a few moments longer and talk. She's amused that he would offer to do this and is clearly attracted to him, so she stays....
It flips back to the apartment. Lily is now standing at the stove, stirring the burning dinner, while Marshall stands back looking very sheepish and apologetic. She's somewhere between exasperated/annoyed about having had to take over cooking "her" romantic dinner. It decends into a small argument, and at some point there's a split screen, showing the two couples at that moment. Lily & Marshall are aruging about burnt dinner; Ted & "Jane" are all smiles, flirty looks and easy conversation. Goes back to Marshall & Lily. Marshall sees this is turning into a complete disaster, so he pulls out the ring and drops to one knee while she's got her back to him. When she turns around to say something else, he asks her to marry him. Shocked pause -- then she breaks into a HUGE smile, squeals "YES!" and tackles him in a hug, and they fall out of frame onto the floor.....
Cuts back to the bar -- Ted asks "Jane" if she'll go out to dinner with him Saturday night. She's says she's going to Florida for a week to film a story (she's a t.v. reporter), but maybe when she gets back. Ted explains that he's having this seize-the-day thing, and doesn't want to wait that long to see her again -- could they have dinner tomorrow night before she leaves? She's very taken with him, too, and says okay. Her friends are still giving them the stink-eye, so she slides her business card across the bar to him, and says, "So......", looking down at the martini glass in front of her. He's says go for it, and she throws the drink in his face...then smiles, says she'll see him tomorrow night, and goes back to her friends. Barney rushes over, slaps him on the back, and laughs "Way to go!" Ted smiles at Barney, holds up her card, and says he has a date with her tomorrow night.
Back to the ktichen -- Marshall & Lily slowly sit up into frame -- woozy, breathless, and disheveled. Marshall comments, "Ted said not to do that." Lily, trying to catch her breath and get her top buttoned: "Did you know there's a pop-tart under your refrigerator?" Then it kinda hits them, yay, they're getting married -- they kiss, Marshall leans back, and proudly produces a bottle of champagne from the fridge, and tries to hand it to Lily. Lily says "Ooooh! Great!" she'll get the glasses, and starts to stand up. Marshall shoves the bottle more deliberately in front of her with a nervous smile, and says "Here you open it, I'll get the glasses". She looks at the bottle and then at him, and says, "Oh Marshall, Noooo. Don't tell me you're afraid of it. You are NOT afraid of a champagne bottle." He covers, "No! Of course not. I just thought maybe you wanted to do it. I'm not afraid..." He gingerly starts undoing the wire and pushing on the cork. From off-camera we hear Lily saying something to the effect, "good, 'cause I know you're afraid of things, but opening a champagne bottle..." He pops the cork with a pleased smile -- and then a grimace, at the loud "OWWW!! from off-camera.
It cuts to Marshall & Lily getting into a cab. She's holding an ice pack to her eye, looking rather annoyed, and tells the cab driver to take them to the hospital. The cabbie looks at the two of them, and asks, "He didn't hit you, did he?" Marshall is horrified, but before he can say anything, Lily goes off on an animated jag (with the hand gestures
):
"Pfft. HIM?? Hit me? I can't even get him to spank me in bed, without constantly stopping to aplologize -- {mimicking Marshall & making soothing/caressing gestures with her free hand} 'Oh, honey, I'm sorry.' and 'Was that too hard?' and 'Maybe I should stop' -- and, it's like, Come-on!! Just SPANK ME, you pansy!!!"
The cabbie and Marshall are silent, staring at her in shock/disbelief (obviously the audience was ROLLING). She realizes what she's said, sits back quickly, looking out the window, anywhere but at them, and says,"Okay, let's go..." I don't know what the punchilne was to the scene. Partially because everyone was so laughing hard, I couldn't hear it.
The second act takes place the next day/night of Ted & "Jane's" date. Lily has a scratched cornea or something and spends most of the rest of the episode wearing an black eye-patch -- which elicits some "aye, matey" and "someone get her a bottle of rum" comments from Barney when they get into it later on Ted takes Jane to a restaurant in Brooklyn (where she lives), and again, they have great chemistry, the date is going fabulously. There's a blue french horn on the wall of the place with a frame around it, which they both think is very odd (it's smurf-blue) but they like it.
The conversation comes around to relationships, and he mentions his friend Lily's "olive-theory" of relationships. Jane asks what the olive-theory is. Ted explains that his friend Marshall *hates* olives, but Lily *loves* olives, and although they disagree on this, Lily says it makes them the perfectly-balanced couple. When they are served something with olives, Lily get all Marshall's olives, which makes her happy, and he doesn't have to stare at them on his plate, which makes him happy, since he hates them. Jane obviously thinks this cute, because she smiles and says, "I don't really care for olives, either -- but I have this whole jar of them in my refrigerator from a party. Maybe you could take them off my hands for me? If you like olives...." Ted does like olives! We hear him thinking something along the lines of , "Holy cow, is she inviting me to her place?", it's going so much better than he could have imagined, he's really crazy about this girl, etc.
After dinner, he walks her back to her apartment (shot on the exterior NYC set where they filmed Seinfeld's exteriors). It's still early, and they stand & talk for a bit on her steps. He clearly wants to kiss her -- and you're pretty sure she wants him to -- but doesn't. Then, a news van quickly pulls up. Someone leans out and yells to Jane that there's a breaking story, a jumper on the Brooklyn bridge. Everyone else is tied up, so they need her. She apologizes to Ted and says she had a great time, he should call her next week when she gets back to town, and jumps into the news van and takes off.
Meanwhile, Lily, Marshall & Barney have met up at their hang-out for a drink. Ted shows up. Lily is suprised to see him, asks how it went, wondering why he's back so early. He explains that she had to cover a news story, but it went great! She's the the perfect girl, the one he always dreamed of, they clicked so well (the olive-theory is mentioned), and she could be the one, etc. One of them (Barney, I think) asks if there was a goodnight kiss. He says no, and this becomes the subject of much debate. He says the signals weren't there. They ask him some questions, and conclude the signals *were* there, and he blew it. (somewhere in there Lily has the line, very disappointed: "Oh Ted! You wussed out like a little bitch, didn't you?"; Barney claims part of the problem -- of course -- was that Ted wasn't wearing a suit) Ted protests that no, it's all good, she said to call him when she gets back into town in a week. Barney scoffs, "A week? That's like a year in hot-babe time! You're done."
Somewhere in here, Jane's live news report about the jumper comes on the bar's t.v. sets, and Ted tells them to shut-up -- that's her! Lily chimes in, "Ooohh, she IS hot! Way to go Ted." So...they've got him all wound-up about this missing the kiss-signal, and he starts wondering what if that turns out to be his only chance, and he didn't take it? (Goes off on a funny mental jag about all the things that could happen while she's in Florida) Lily points out the night isn't quite over yet, and Ted decides, yes, he MUST do this. He must kiss her before the night is over.
They ALL pile into a cab for the ride to Brooklyn (for moral support) -- after Ted stops home to put on a suit (LOL) -- AND stops at the restaurant, where he runs in, rips the ugly blue french horn off the wall, and runs-out (coincidentally, it's the *same* cab driver Marshall & Lily had the night before on their trip to the hospital, who has now become involved in all their business). They drop Ted off & wait several minutes to make sure things are progressing well before leaving.
So, Ted shows up on at Jane's door with the blue french horn and says he thought he'd get those olives...if she still wanted to get rid of them. She hangs the horn on her wall, steps back and declares it's the tackiest thing she's ever owned, and she loves it. He explains that he just *had* to see her before the night was through, because he felt like the date was unfinished. She puts on some music and they being slow dancing....
We cut back to the kids from the very beginning. They're getting squeamish, and don't want to hear anything that isn't strictly PG. "Okay, that's enough...." and they start to get up. Dad tells them to sit down, he's not done, that's now how the night ended....
We go back to Jane's. They're slow dancing, and finally kiss (a few times)....and Ted without even thinking, blurts out, "I love you." Record scratching sound. She pulls back in shock, "You WHAT?" He's starts freaking out, "Oh my god, I'm sorry! Why did I say that?!" She freaking out, "You CAN'T say that! We just met!"
Meanwhile back in the cab, Lily (who has ripped off the eye-patch in frustration by this point) sees something outside that she wants (food or a drink vendor) and tells the cabbie to stop. She says she'll just be a minute and jumps out. Barney starts ragging on Marshall -- they're doing all this running around tonight, "because of your girlfriend's dumb 'olive-theory'". Marshall tells him to shut up -- and it's not dumb -- and stares out the window.
They're quiet for a second, and then a light bulb goes on over Barney's head: "Oh my god....You are so full of CRAP!." Marshall asks "What?" Barney turns to him and says, smugly, "Two weeks ago, at ______ when we were watching the Yankees game. Lily wasn't there. They had olives on the bar, and you ate a TON of them!!" Marshall protests, nervously, "Nuh-uh...No, I didn't!" Barney exclaims (pointing), "Yes you did! You had a whole bowl! YOU LIKE OLIVES!!!"
Marshall glances around and then snaps back, "Okay! You're right, I like olives!!" He explains that when he & Lily went out to dinner on their first date, their salads came with olives. Lily said she really loved olives and asked if she could have his, if he didn't want them. He was so crazy about her, and wanted her to like him SO BADLY, he said sure, take them all, he hates olives. And she DID like him, and they started dating, and it became this THING....and he could never un-do it, and has had to hide the fact that he *realy likes* olives all these years. Barney laughs gleefully, "This is great! Your whole wonderful relationship is based on a huge LIE! What a joke!"
Marshall gets mad/defensive and again tells him to shut up, it's not a joke. He gives a very sweet and impassioned speech about how although he lied about the olive-thing, everything that happened afterward was worth it. Lily is greatest thing that ever happened to him. They love each other and belong together, and they're *going* to get married and grow old together, etc, and he doesn't care what Barney thinks. (It really was very "awww") Unbeknownst to Marshall, Lily has walked up and leaned into the open window behind him, and heard the second part of this. She kinda melts into this soft, adoring smile. Marshall turns back around, surprised to see her there. He's still all wound up and immediately blurts out: "Lily, I like olives!" She nods and smiles, "We'll work it out," and leans in the window and kisses him.
We go back to Jane's -- they're at the front door/stoop. He apologizes again and hopes he didn't totally ruin things. He explains that he's just at this place where he's ready for the real thing, and he thinks she's so great and feels like there's something there. She says understands -- you get the feeling that she really does "get" him -- and she'll call him when she gets back from Florida, and they say good night.
We cut back to the kids, who are now a little more on the edge of their seat. One of them says, "Okay...so THAT'S how you met mom...." The father replies, "No. That's how I met your your Aunt Jane." The kids go ballistic, "What?!?" (as did the audience) Dad says "I told you this was a long story...."
Excellent! The whole thing was a 22 minute mis-lead. LOL And they really do suck you into it because Radnor and this Kara-Something had such good chemistry. I couldn't tell for certain if she's going to be regular/permanent cast member or not -- I think so, she was at the screening.
There was also another sequence in here --- but I can't remember how it fit, maybe it was the tag? Ted meets up with the gang again at the bar at the end of the night, where they're sitting in a booth with a pitcher of beer. They ask him how it went, did you kiss her? He says yes, and then he told her he was in love with her. They ALL are aghast -- "No!" "You did WHAT?!" "Why?!" ...and then the cab driver (who was obscurred from view behind Barney the original angle) suddenly leans forward into frame with a mug of beer in his hand, and says, "Are you out of your mind?!"
So that's it, hope it made sense!
~*~*~*~*~*~
If you aren't completely appalled, then you haven't been paying attention.
Edited by: AquarianSky 
at: 4/20/05 10:36 pm
). She & Jason Segel seem to have good chemistry as the long-time couple/college sweethearts. Lily is a kindergarten teacher; down-to-earth, confident. Marshall is sweet and sincere, but also awkward and slightly neurotic. Josh Radnor, whom I'd never seen before, is great, very likable. Neil Patrick Harris is absolutely HILARIOUS as their other college-pal, Barney -- perpetually-single, obnoxious, and full of unsolicited (often bad) advice for Ted. He steals practically every scene he's in. The cast is just really solid*(including Radnor's love-interest, a stunning brunette whose name I didn't catch; Kara-Something). These are all people who can truly act, not just deliver punch-lines.
I hope we will all get to see it for ourselves sooner rather than later. 
