College Confidential (Prequel to HC/FC) [AU] (Complete)

[leos_pride]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR THE EARLY UPDATE!!!!!

I went from:
and wanted to Mia multiple times

And now everything is:


So thank you very much!

~Leo

[Finey_McFine]

Oh my JMT, an early update...you read my mind! I was going to give you grief about the end of the last chapter, maybe throw a passed out homeless guy on your doorstep and withold your cooter blowout, but I decided to spare you my wrath. Plus, I figured you'd get a ton of grief from everyone else, lol.

What a pleasant surprise to see this update today. It was definitely a bright spot at the end of a truly horrific week. So glad to see that cooler heads prevailed and they finally got things sorted.

Let me backtrack for a minute though...first, Willow needs to grow up a bit. I understand her anger, insecurities, etc. but for someone so smart, she sure was a dumb ass. The whole, shoot first/ask questions later routine will only get her so far before it completely backfires. Hopefully this was a lesson learned. I mean, Tara cheating? Pfft! If she bought that, then I have a bridge I could sell her! Becky was absolutely right to give her a little wake up call; she definitely needed it. I felt so freakin' bad for Tara, especially with her little panic attack. I just really wanted to smack Willow. Speaking of smacking, Mia...what a sleazy skanky BITCA! That was about as low as you can go. Did she really think her ploy would work? Moron. She got what she deserved and then some. I LOVE pissed off Tara!

So, I hope you will still be updating next Wednesday...it's my mid-week high point!

I heart you!

[Wills redemption]

Oh my, I really second Becky's Hallelujah wholeheartedly! I'm so glad I had no time to read during the week so there was no cliffhanger for me, I could just go on! Willow turning against Tara in that almost insane fury and Tara desperately and futilely trying to convince Willow she's innocent broke my heart. The worst were the moments when Willow grabbed her collar and Tara feared she would physically assault her and when Tara stood in front of the closed door thinking she was back "home" and expecting a beating from her father if she wouldn't make dinner on time. That last one really felt like post traumatic stress syndrome, and that Willow's attack caused this felt terrible. But I really don't want to point my finger at Willow...sure in our position, knowing the truth, it's easy to think: how could Willow believe Mia, why didn't she think about her lost diary before? But Willow had just suffered an emotional breakdown herself, all her nagging doubts and insecurities seemingly confirmed...the way Mia rubbed the sexual intimaties into Willow's emotional wounds in the most cruel and humiliating way was really evil! And maybe concentrating on her anger was some form of self preservation from her subconsciousness...

Plus we shouldn't forget that Willow has suffered her own abuse as a child, not physically but emotionally. As far as I understand it she only got some kind of "positive attention" from her mother if she excelled at something. In drama class she "failed" her audition and then Tara who was the best "turned" to a girl who, as Willow later learns, is a great actor herself. Granted, we know Tara didn't think Willow "failed", she even told Willow so, and that Tara didn't think of turning away from Willow, just turning towards a new friend, but Willow's insecurities which were deeply engrained since her early childhood interpreted that differently.

I really think Willow should talk with Tara about her own childhood "sufferings", and shouldn't believe that compared to what Tara had to suffer, they are unimportant. Tara went through hell after her mothers death, but the ten years before she experienced her mothers love every day. Willow never knew hunger and was never slapped and probably never really yelled at as a kid, but she apparantly never experienced true motherly love. And I guess when this happens to a kid it will put the blame on itself, feeling that it is a "bad", unloveable kid.

But hey, I'm just a lawyer, not a psychiatric, so what do I know of that stuff? Please excuse my rambling.

Anyway, I know that the coming years with Tara will help Willow overcome her childhood trauma as much as they help Tara, so everything is good with our girls. And I just realized that it is pretty late and I really have to go to bed right now!

I really hope I can comment on another update next weekend...

[Laragh]

BuffyFan4ever –

YAY!!! All is right in the world again.

It was bumpy there for a second!

Go Becky for knocking some sense into Willow.

She's good like that!

Go Tara for kicking Mia's ass (figuratively unfortunately ) Hopefully Mia won't show up to the theater class anymore since her only reason for taking it in the first place is now gone.

Well, unless she's attendance-graded...

Can't wait to see the Halloween costumes.

Hehe. Wait and see!

Thanks for commenting

zampsa19752001 -

Yay for Becky kicking some sense into Willow and Willow & Tara talking and figuring out bitch M's plan to break them up... Extra big yay for Tara kicking Bitch M's ass (unfurtunately figuratively)... Can't wait for their Halloween dress-up celebrations...

Haha, well, Tara was never going to hit her, so I think she gave her a pretty good ass-kicking considering! Glad you enjoyed it

Thanks for your comment!

bluepaintbox –

T H A N K Y O U ! ! ![ for the early update

Glad I was able to!

the kick in the butt willow got was much needed

It certainly was

grateful tara & mias exchange didnt turn into a "if I can't have you, no one can" type of situation.
every thing else was wonderful

Uh huh, don't want any fatal attraction stuff going on, but we haven't quite seen the last of Mia...

Thanks for commenting

leos_pride -

THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR THE EARLY UPDATE!!!!!

I went from:
and wanted to Mia multiple times

And now everything is:


So thank you very much!

~Leo

Well I didn't want to leave people in that kind of state!

Thanks for commenting

Finey_McFine -

Oh my JMT, an early update...you read my mind! I was going to give you grief about the end of the last chapter, maybe throw a passed out homeless guy on your doorstep and withold your cooter blowout, but I decided to spare you my wrath. Plus, I figured you'd get a ton of grief from everyone else, lol.

I did. I should know better to mess with kittens at this stage.

What a pleasant surprise to see this update today. It was definitely a bright spot at the end of a truly horrific week. So glad to see that cooler heads prevailed and they finally got things sorted.

Well, to be fair, we all know they're gonna go on to get married and have kids...

Let me backtrack for a minute though...first, Willow needs to grow up a bit. I understand her anger, insecurities, etc. but for someone so smart, she sure was a dumb ass. The whole, shoot first/ask questions later routine will only get her so far before it completely backfires. Hopefully this was a lesson learned. I mean, Tara cheating? Pfft! If she bought that, then I have a bridge I could sell her! Becky was absolutely right to give her a little wake up call; she definitely needed it.

I hope it is too! We know she continues to be a a hot-head and jealous, but I think this should make sure future outbursts are less about doubting Tara and just about admitting her own insecurities.

I felt so freakin' bad for Tara, especially with her little panic attack. I just really wanted to smack Willow.

She wanted to slap herself, I think.

Speaking of smacking, Mia...what a sleazy skanky BITCA! That was about as low as you can go. Did she really think her ploy would work? Moron. She got what she deserved and then some. I LOVE pissed off Tara!

She's a total narcissist. To her, Tara would jump at the chance to be with her, but was too kind and loyal a person to break up with Willow. She's definitely a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (and a diva).

So, I hope you will still be updating next Wednesday...it's my mid-week high point!

I'm sorry, I had hoped I'd finish a whole chapter, but was only able to get a mini-one done.

I heart you!

I heart you more!

Thanks for your feedback

Wills redemption -

Oh my, I really second Becky's Hallelujah wholeheartedly! I'm so glad I had no time to read during the week so there was no cliffhanger for me, I could just go on!

I should learn not to do cliffhangers, it's rarely a good thing for me!

Willow turning against Tara in that almost insane fury and Tara desperately and futilely trying to convince Willow she's innocent broke my heart. The worst were the moments when Willow grabbed her collar and Tara feared she would physically assault her and when Tara stood in front of the closed door thinking she was back "home" and expecting a beating from her father if she wouldn't make dinner on time. That last one really felt like post traumatic stress syndrome, and that Willow's attack caused this felt terrible

Tara definitely has some remnants of PTSD (she had another moment like that earlier when Willow was drunk and she smelled the alcohol on her breath). She did see a therapist when she first got to college which I think stopped her from becoming non-functioning because of it, but unfortunately there'll always be moments where the memories overwhelm her (as she says herself somewhere near the start of Hacker), however, the associated terror will lessen (as we know).

But I really don't want to point my finger at Willow...sure in our position, knowing the truth, it's easy to think: how could Willow believe Mia, why didn't she think about her lost diary before? But Willow had just suffered an emotional breakdown herself, all her nagging doubts and insecurities seemingly confirmed...the way Mia rubbed the sexual intimaties into Willow's emotional wounds in the most cruel and humiliating way was really evil! And maybe concentrating on her anger was some form of self preservation from her subconsciousness...

Oh definitely. Willow was just sucker punched with all of this and really, even the most calm and rational person would have blown a gasket.

Plus we shouldn't forget that Willow has suffered her own abuse as a child, not physically but emotionally. As far as I understand it she only got some kind of "positive attention" from her mother if she excelled at something. In drama class she "failed" her audition and then Tara who was the best "turned" to a girl who, as Willow later learns, is a great actor herself. Granted, we know Tara didn't think Willow "failed", she even told Willow so, and that Tara didn't think of turning away from Willow, just turning towards a new friend, but Willow's insecurities which were deeply engrained since her early childhood interpreted that differently.

I've always said (or rather said through Tara, because she's that kind of person) that Willow's hardships are in no way diminished by Tara's. That they can band together, move past and grow from them together.

I really think Willow should talk with Tara about her own childhood "sufferings", and shouldn't believe that compared to what Tara had to suffer, they are unimportant. Tara went through hell after her mothers death, but the ten years before she experienced her mothers love every day. Willow never knew hunger and was never slapped and probably never really yelled at as a kid, but she apparantly never experienced true motherly love. And I guess when this happens to a kid it will put the blame on itself, feeling that it is a "bad", unloveable kid.

You couldn't be more right.

But hey, I'm just a lawyer, not a psychiatric, so what do I know of that stuff? Please excuse my rambling.

Your rambling is spot on. Them sharing those nitty gritty insecurities is exactly what makes them so strong as a couple. It'll happen, it's happening already.

Anyway, I know that the coming years with Tara will help Willow overcome her childhood trauma as much as they help Tara, so everything is good with our girls. And I just realized that it is pretty late and I really have to go to bed right now!

Retro-active 'sleep well' wish!

Thanks for commenting

---

Update Directly Below

[Laragh]

********

TITLE: College Confidential

WRITER: Laragh

CHAPTER RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.

SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to Hacker Confidential and Family Confidential - the college years!

SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.

FEEDBACK: Yes please

NOTE: I had less time to piece together the whole next chapter, which has some delicate points, so I humbly offer you this interlude instead.

Chapter 41 - An Interlude

********

---

Later That Evening

---

Tara wasn’t sure what time it was when she woke, but the sun had set and the room only had the glow of Willow’s laptop beside her.


She blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust, but quickly noticed how eerily-still Willow was; knees up and staring intently at the screen. Tara sat up, but Willow made no effort to move or acknowledge her.


Tara looked at the screen and saw just a maroon background at first, but it didn’t take her long to notice a particular name and some other details on a grid along with class names there too.


“What’s that?” she asked softly.


Willow was still unmoving, but was twitching slightly.


“Grades hub.”


Tara nodded; that was what she suspected.


“What did you change?”


Willow shook her head but her eyes stayed on the screen.


“Nothing. I promised I wouldn’t.”


Tara sat up fully and put a hand on Willow’s arm.


“How come you…whatever it’s called when you…break into websites.”


Willow suddenly slammed her computer closed.


“Because I wanted to feel like I was doing something!” she replied in a miserable tone.


Tara gave Willow’s shoulder a squeeze.


“Willow…”


Willow dropped her head to her knees.


“I didn’t and I won’t, but I can’t say I don’t want to. I just won’t break my promise.”


Tara was glad Willow wasn’t going to go down that route, but felt slightly troubled by the reasoning.


“Honey, I don’t want you to feel like I’m holding our relationship over you if you don’t do exactly as I say.”


Willow’s head lifted.


“Why can’t I just mess her around a little? She deserves it.”


Tara touched Willow’s hair affectionately.


“Let’s leave out whether it’s right or wrong or she deserves it or doesn’t; you’ll get caught out and you’ll get in serious trouble. I’m only concerned about you.”


Willow scowled then sighed; she was sure she knew her way around a computer, but she was surer that Tara had her best interests at heart, misguided as she thought they were.


“Okay, fine.”


“Don’t be mad,” Tara said, leaving a kiss on Willow’s cheek.


Willow gently nuzzled against Tara’s lips.


“I’m not mad,” she replied, feeling a little calmer, “I’m not. There’s been enough anger today. And hurt.”


She glanced to Tara, and took her hand, drawing circles in her girlfriend’s palm to distract herself from her real source of anger; herself.


“I really scared you a couple of times, didn’t I? I mean…you know, of the threaten-y kind.”


Tara played with Willow’s foot under the blanket since her hand was occupied.


“It’s not your fault I have a few bad memories.”


“No, but it is my fault if I act in a way that reminds you,” Willow replied, swallowing a lump in her throat.


Tara leaned over and kissed Willow’s cheek again, repeatedly pressing her lips against her girlfriend’s soft skin.


“Well, then it’s fair that it’s my fault when I don’t listen and make you feel like you’re worthy enough to have a voice,” she said, finding Willow’s eyes, “Those are your bad memories, aren’t they?”


Willow looked away, but Tara kept her gaze.


“You don’t talk about it much.”


“It’s nothing like what you went through,” Willow was quick to establish.


“It’s not a competition,” Tara replied, moving her hand up to touch Willow’s cheek.


Willow let herself take the comfort but didn’t linger.


“Yeah, it hurt growing up, but it’s over.”


“Even when it’s over, sometimes it still comes up,” Tara replied, putting her hand around Willow’s waist and lying them both down right by each other, “I get that more than anyone.”


Neither said a word for a few minutes, until Willow’s voice cracked through the silence.


“Mom…Mom. Ha. She wasn’t ‘Mom’, she was ‘mother’. A role, nothing more. Dad was ‘Dad’ at least when ‘mother’ wasn’t around. Then he had to be ‘father’. There were some nice times with him, but it’s hard to remember the good among all the…’bad’ is probably too strong a word, but…maybe apathy. They didn’t care about Willow, they cared about ‘daughter’.”


“I care about Willow,” Tara replied softly, linking their fingers, “My Willow, who had a traumatic day and at the end of it is only worried about me.”


Willow sighed softly.


“It's...not. You’re nothing like my parents…actually, maybe you get it. It’s not that I’m expecting you to act like my parents, but all I know is that they did. So it was either them, or me. And I can’t explain why they acted like they did, but give me enough time and I’ll come with a thousand reasons why I caused it.”


Tara rubbed her thumb over Willow’s skin.


“You don’t have to live by a rule where you’re trying to convince me you’re worthy. I love you ‘cause you’re you; I love you because you’re passionate and fiery even though it comes with a temper; I love how much you love, even though it can cloud your clarity sometimes; I love that even after…after how horrible an experience it must have been to be told those things in such a crude manner…that even if it took a little probing, that you came back to talk,” she said, meeting Willow’s eyes with a smile, “Hey, I knew what I getting involved with when I started dating a redhead.”


Willow finally cracked a smile and lifted their joined hands up to kiss the back of Tara’s. She squeezed their palms together and leaned over to gently press their lips together.


“‘Promises mean something to me’. You told me that on our first date. I won’t make a promise lightly and I won’t ever break one I make to you. That’s something I don’t even have to think about. I promised I won’t use my hacker skills on Mia, I’d actually just like to forget all about her if that’s at all possible, but I promised and I’m committed to that promise, just like I’m committed to you and hey do you want to get a pet?”


Tara stared at Willow silently for a few seconds.


“Do I want to get a pet?”


Willow seemed just as surprised as Tara.


“Yep. Those were the words that came out of my mouth.”


“Like a dog?” Tara asked, eyes narrowing in thought.


Willow wasn’t entirely sure where her question had even come from, but considered the response.


“Well, I don’t think we could sneak a dog into the dorms. There’d be barking and whatnot, a cat probably too. We’d have to train it and it could ruin the floor or scratch up all the furniture and we’d be responsible.”


“So… a fish?” Tara asked, wondering if she was following the train of thought correctly.


“Yeah, like a fish!” Willow replied eager, but then held her free hand up in a ‘stop’ motion, “Tara I have exactly zero idea why I brought this up. I was just thinking about really wanting you to know I’m committed to you after everything that happened and kablamo, just came out. We can forget about it.”


Tara was smiling.


“No, I like it. Let’s get a fish.”


“Really? Awesome!” Willow replied, enthused by her own out-of-the-blue idea, “I bet there’s a pet store nearby, I can look it up in the morning. We could go before class.”


Tara let out a soft exhale.


“…drama class.”


Willow immediately shook her head, smile still lighting up her face.


“No, shush, we’re thinking about happy things, like our fish.”


The thought was niggling at the back of Tara’s mind still, but the look on Willow’s face made up for everything.


“What kind of fish should we get?”


“I don’t know, what do you think?” Willow asked excitedly, “Maybe I should look it up now…”

---

Willow marched up to the counter at the pet store and threw down a $50 bill.


“I want one of your finest fish, please!”


The man behind the counter looked amused, but like he was trying to conceal it.


“Do you know what type you’re looking for?”


“Uh, no,” Willow admitted sheepishly, while Tara stood at the large tank at the other side of the store, “I researched but there were a lot of options.”


“Do you have a tank or any fish already?” the clerk asked.


“Nope,” Willow replied, “First time fish owners here.”


“Do you plan on more?” he asked and Willow shook her head, “How much space are you looking at?”


Willow made a spherical shape with her hands.


“Um, well, I was thinking, you know, a bowl.”


“Limited space?” the clerk asked and Willow nodded.


“Yes. Dorm room small.”


The clerk brought Willow over to the tank, quite close to where Tara was already standing.


“These are Siamese Fighting fish. They’re pretty good if you only have a small space.”


Willow put her palms flat against the glass.


“Whoa, check out those colours!”


Tara sidled up next to Willow.


“They’re very pretty.”


“They like heated water, and don’t need much maintenance,” the clerk explained to them, “They live for up to four years, but don’t get on very well with other fish.”


A vibrant fish swam up near Willow’s hands.


“Hey look, it likes me!”


“It’s blue and green, kinda like us,” Tara pointed out.


Willow’s eyes lit up like a child on Christmas.


“We’ll take it!” she announced, before turning to Tara, “I mean, um, will we take it?”


Tara nodded, so Willow turned giddily to the clerk.


“What stuff do we need?”


He took them around the store to get bowl, suggested some live plants to have in with it, a small heater, the food pellets and a water conditioner to keep it healthy. He then got them their fish in a half-filled plastic bag, which Tara held and watched their new addition swim around.


Willow carried the accessories back to their dorm, and followed the instructions to a T when getting it set up.


“Careful, careful, careful,” she said as Tara gently placed the bag in their new fish bowl.


Tara waited until the fish was swimming around before removing the baggie again. Willow clapped excitedly and bent down on her knees to watch it swim.


“So not mega on the adorable scale, but who needs to see a kitten yawn? Besides, this is relaxing and no sharp claws,” she said, quite taken with the fish’s striking colours, “We need to give her a name. What’s a good fish name? Mrs. Bubbles? Princess Atlantis?”


“Ms. Fishy Fantastico?” Tara suggested, sitting on the desk chair to watch too.


Willow grinned.


“I like it. Hello Ms. Fishy Fantasico.”


They watched their fishy swim around its new home, until Tara noticed Willow’s eyes were glassy.


“Hey, what’s wrong?”


Willow shook her head, rolling her eyes at herself.


“It’s silly,” she said, but a smile broke through, “I feel like a family.”


As nice as their fish was, Tara knew the gesture meant a lot more than just it having a new home for it to swim in. It was a symbol of how their relationship went through the bad and came out shining as brightly as Ms. Fishy Fantastico on the other side.


She took Willow’s arm and gently pulled her up. Willow thought she was being pulled up for a hug, but was instead tugged onto Tara’s lap and embraced that way. Tara held Willow by the waist, arms circling tight around her.


“We are.”

---

Note: Miss Kitty lovers, please don’t hate me. If I introduced her here, some tragedy would have to befall her to explain why she’s gone by the start of Hacker, so I went down the less ominous route!

[BuffyFan4ever]

Dibs

I love Willow's hacking ability. 'If I'm able to do it, why can't I?'

“Why can’t I just mess her around a little? She deserves it.”

She can find out Mia's dorm room and 'haunt' it. I imagine that access to the lighting grid is much harder to track and it's not something where tampering is obvious. I found a loophole to Tara's reasoning. (Maybe it's a good thing I don't have 'super powers'.)

I'm glad Willow is getting more comfortable talking about her past.

“‘Promises mean something to me’. You told me that on our first date. I won’t make a promise lightly and I won’t ever break one I make to you. That’s something I don’t even have to think about. I promised I won’t use my hacker skills on Mia, I’d actually just like to forget all about her if that’s at all possible, but I promised and I’m committed to that promise, just like I’m committed to you and hey do you want to get a pet?”

Another Willow super power: The ability to connect random subjects in a single breath.

Willow marched up to the counter at the pet store and threw down a $50 bill.

“I want one of your finest fish, please!”

The man behind the counter looked amused, but like he was trying to conceal it.

“Do you know what type you’re looking for?”

“Uh, no,” Willow admitted sheepishly,

I can picture her proud grin turn into a confused frown.

They should have gotten a jellyfish and called it 'Squishy.'

Can't wait for more.

[zampsa19752001]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I really liked their talk... Big yay for adding Ms. Fishy Fantastico to their family....

[Laragh]

BuffyFan4ever –

I love Willow's hacking ability. 'If I'm able to do it, why can't I?'

The ethics of it swim by her.

She can find out Mia's dorm room and 'haunt' it. I imagine that access to the lighting grid is much harder to track and it's not something where tampering is obvious. I found a loophole to Tara's reasoning. (Maybe it's a good thing I don't have 'super powers'.)

Ha! I might not ever write it, but you can consider that head-canon anyway

I'm glad Willow is getting more comfortable talking about her past.

She's slowly really learning that Tara will still love her.

Another Willow super power: The ability to connect random subjects in a single breath.

It really is a super power, it's hard for it all to come out like that.

I can picture her proud grin turn into a confused frown.

Pretty much exactly.

They should have gotten a jellyfish and called it 'Squishy.'

Maybe next time...

Thanks for commenting!

zampsa19752001 -

I really liked their talk... Big yay for adding Ms. Fishy Fantastico to their family....

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for your comment

---

Update Directly Below

[Laragh]

********

TITLE: College Confidential

WRITER: Laragh

CHAPTER RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.

SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to Hacker Confidential and Family Confidential - the college years!

SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.

FEEDBACK: Yes please

Chapter 42

********

Willow watched Tara tap a pencil nervously against the table.


The same action she’d been doing since they had first sat down, her eyes darting every so often to the door to check if Mia had come in yet. Willow put her hand over Tara’s and stroked her thumb gently.


“Just keep your head down, baby,” she encouraged, “Don’t even look at her.”


Tara’s face was ashen.


“I’ll have to be in the play with her. I can’t back out twice.”


Willow’s eyes flashed with fury.


“Well she shouldn’t be in this god damn class to begin with. We should tell the professor, you know!” she replied tetchily, but saw it didn’t help Tara much, “Just think about Ms. Fishy and relax. We'll worry about the other stuff later.”


The pencil stilled and Tara let it rest, then leaned back in her chair.


“Okay. You’re right.”


“Yeah, better get used to it,” Willow replied with a smile, “Save my moments of complete insanity.”


“We agreed on quirky,” Tara replied, matching her smile, but it faltered when a shadow suddenly loomed over them.


Mia stood there, face harder than it had ever been, hands on her hips and chin lifted high.


“I thought I’d give you a chance to apologise.”


Willow had planned to take her own advice and ignore Mia, but couldn’t help scoffing at that.


“Apologise? You’re the one that needs to apologise, not that we’re interested in hearing it!”


Mia’s arms crossed over her chest.


“You don’t want to mess with me. Apologise in front of everyone right now and I might consider walking away as the bigger person.”


Willow stood up, not wanting to Mia to think she was being intimidating.


“You're a pathetic excuse for a person. Bite me.”


“Willow, please sit down,” Tara said, gently tugging on Willow’s shirt.


Willow remained standing and looked to Mia challengingly, who smirked.


“You think that do you? Well I happen to think...or know...a few things that I think everyone would find it just fascinating to hear. Things I had a chance to...read.”


Willow fists balled tighter, but she wasn't about to step down and let Mia humiliate her again.


“Oh shut up, Mia. Nobody cares what you have to say.”


The room had gone completely silent now, everyone's eyes peeled to the scene playing out. Tara tugged on Willow's shirt again, but her girlfriend was rooted to the spot stubbornly.


Mia cocked her head and laughed, keeping her gaze on Willow. She wouldn't look at Tara; that would make her feel the hurt of being rejected and not the anger she could lash on Willow.


Not that Tara would escape her wrath.


“Oh no, really,” Mia replied to Willow, grinning in a way that could easily resemble a psychopath, “I mean it was all so interesting.”


She brought her hands up to her face then and rubbed under her eyes as if she'd been crying.


“Like how poor icle Tawa cwies when she comes sometimes 'cause she just can't handle all the emotion,” she said mockingly, then sneered, “Or at least that's what she tells you. You're probably just a lot worse than you even realise.”


Tara's eyes shut tight and she sunk down in her chair, bright red. Willow was red too, but from pure anger.


“Stop it.”


“Oh, but I've only started,” Mia replied with that almost -frightening, condescending smile, “Because when Tara's not crying, she's screaming. Quite the screamer, really. Just can’t keep her mouth closed. Or her legs.”


She said the last part with a snarl and Tara was near tears, though Willow was too mad to see, a vein pulsing in her forehead.


“I mean it Mia, be quiet.”


“Nope,” Mia replied, sitting back on a desk and swinging her legs like she was having a casual conversation, “I’m only starting. So much to share. Like how poor Tara’s Daddy beat her black and blue and now she likes to be spanked–”


Willow grabbed Mia’s shirt then and yanked her up, not seeing Tara jump from her seat and fleeing from the room.


“I said shut the hell up! Shut up! You have no right, none!”


The professor walked through the door just as a blur flew by her, though her eyes were beady and recognised it.


“Tara, class is starting,” she called after her, but it was too late; the blur had disappeared around a corner.


The professor tutted and shook her head, but her attention was pulled away as she took another step into the classroom, just in time to see Mia push Willow down to the floor and hear them screaming at each other.


She rushed up and stood between them.


“Separate at once,” she commanded, keeping them at arms-length apart as Willow scrambled to stand up.


Willow snarled at Mia but didn’t dare question that a teacher, until she noticed the now-empty seat.


“Tara?” she asked, looking around as if expecting her to appear.


One of the guys sitting behind them caught her eye, she thought his name was Joel, who had been about to offer Tara a tissue when she'd left.


“She ran out, she was pretty upset.”


“And I will assume she had a medical emergency to which she's gotten attention for,” the professor spoke calmly, deciding enough class time had been wasted, “Now you will both sit.”


Willow shook her head furiously.


“I have to find Tara.”


“Miss Rosenberg, I would sit on the other side of the room without a sound and come see me after class,” the professor replied, fixing her with a firm glare, “And that is not a suggestion.”


Willow hesitated, eyes darting to the door, but the professor clapped soundly once.


“Now, Miss Rosenberg. You too, Miss Cook. Not a peep from either of you.”


Willow resisted the urge to stamp her foot, and grabbed her book bag from the floor. She sulked off to the other side of the room. She waited a few minutes for things to settle and the professor to be distracted, then sneakily took her phone out.


Baby are you okay? She’s making me stay, I’ll come find you asap. Please let me know you’re okay.


She kept her phone in hand and stared at the screen, waiting for it to light up, but it didn’t.


The class seemed to stretch on forever until they were finally dismissed. Willow tried to make a run for it, but the professor was one step ahead, stopping her and Mia.


“In my office. Both of you. Now.”


Willow tried not to sigh and make things worse for herself. She kept her eyes down as they walked to the professor’s office, not taking a single look in Mia's direction for fear she wouldn't be able to stop herself from lunging.


“You sit there,” Riggin said to Willow, pointing at a chair outside as they got to the office, then looked to Mia, “Amelia, I’ll speak with you first.”


The two went inside and Willow brought out her phone again, calling Tara this time. It went to voicemail.


“Tara?” she whispered, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself, “If you listen to this, I’m coming as soon as I can. Please be okay, I love you.”


She hung up and waited anxiously for a reply. None came.


After several long minutes, the door swung open and Mia marched out, livid. She stopped once to glare at Willow.


“If I ever see either of you two…sluts…again…!” she said threateningly, then stomped off, her whole body swinging with the intensity of her rage.


The professor walked calmly out a moment later.


“Willow, I’ll see you now.”


Willow grabbed her bag and followed her into the office. She took the seat indicated and nervously tapped her fingers together while the professor walked around the desk to her seat.


“Do you want to tell me what happened?”


“What did she say?” Willow asked.


“I want to know what you have to say,” Riggin replied evenly.


Willow took in a breath.


“Okay, well, it all started like back when semester started, Mia was always hanging around us, that’s me and Tara, we’re um, dating, if you didn’t know. Anyway, things were weird but I didn’t say anything until yesterday when I couldn’t find my journal and I thought I lost it but she’d, she’d really taken it and tried to use the information to make me leave Tara and we got into a huge fight but then we resolved it and Tara confronted her and took the journal back and then she came marching into class this morning and started revealing private things about Tara and I got mad and told her to stop and I grabbed her, which, okay, shouldn’t have done, but she pushed me and kicked me, she really did–”


“I saw that,” Riggin interrupted with a short nod.


“Right,” Willow nodded, “Um, well you kinda walked in then, when Tara left. So. Yeah.”


The professor had gotten all the information she needed and more from a ranting and raving Mia, so had mostly considered the situation already.


“A physical altercation is a very serious incident,” she said calmly, “However, given some information I learned, I don’t think we need to escalate this. You’re on a warning. Keep your head down, Miss Rosenberg.”


Willow let out a slow breath of relief.


“I’ll excuse Tara from class this once given what I heard, but just once,” the professor continued, “It will not become a habit.”


“I don’t know if she’ll come back,” Willow replied honestly.


“It wouldn’t be advisable for her to drop the class now,” Riggin replied, arms folded atop the desk, “It might encourage her to know that Miss Cook won’t be returning.”


“Oh,” Willow replied, surprised, “Really?”


“Yes, well, she’s at an academic level above this class,” Riggin replied, not giving too much away, though with a little intuition, it wasn't hard to tell she was humiliated that she'd been deceived, “She was wrongly placed here and had already completed it. She will not return.”


Willow rolled her eyes.


“Yeah right, it was all to get close to Tara. At least tell me she's in trouble?”


Riggin stood up.


“Your personal lives need to stay out of the classroom and I cannot discuss another student with you. I have informed Amelia that any other altercation or action on either of your parts' should be seen in the harshest of lights.”


Willow stood too, inferring she was correct.


“Okay. Uh, I’m sorry,” she replied, hiding her smile, though it fell completely a moment later, “Um, can I go find Tara now?”


The professor nodded once.


“You are dismissed. I don’t want to have to see you here again.”


“Right. Won’t. Promise,” Willow said back, already out the door.


Her feet hit the floor running, bag jostling on her back as she skidded around corners and across paths until she was back at the dorms, hoping Tara was there.


She rushed into the room, which was empty and showed no signs of anyone being there.


“Damn it…” she swore under her breath, until she realised there was a sound coming from the side.


She walked over to the bathroom and poked her head in, seeing Tara sitting on the floor of the shower, knees up and head down, curled into a ball. Willow let out a sigh of relief and tossed her bag away, then walked in and knocked on the glass.


When she got no response, she reached in, but her hand snapped back immediately.


“Tara, the water’s freezing!”


Tara didn’t so much as flinch. Willow tried to pull at her a few times, before quickly stripping off and stepping in when the worry got too much. She took the brunt of the cold water on her back.


“Tara?” she asked, trying to lift her girlfriend’s head up and see her eyes, “Tara, baby, it’s me, please tell me you’re okay.”


Tara remained completely motionless for another few seconds before finally looked up, eyes red and puffy.


“Stop it, you’ll get cold.”


“Yeah, pot, kettle, black, missy!” Willow retorted, reaching up and turning the nozzle off, “Come on, out. Girlfriend-y foot is going down. Robe. You. In it.”


Tara let herself be ordered into a robe and out of the bathroom to rest on the bed.


“What’s with the iceberg shower?” Willow asked, drying herself off and getting some clothes back on.


Tara was still quite forlorn but was quiet about it.


“The heat cut out. I used to get in trouble for crying. He couldn’t hear me in the shower. I got used to them.”


Willow stopped as she felt her heart break. She left the pants she was putting on fall away and climbed onto the bed behind Tara and held her.


“Oh Tara,” she said, cradling Tara’s head and gently kissing her neck for comfort.


They rocked silently for a moment, but Willow felt the need to fill it.


“I talked to the professor. Mia’s out of class. No seeing her, no play with her, and she got warned to stay away from us.”


Tara nodded weakly in acknowledgement but Willow could tell it didn’t do much to ease the hurt.


“It’s college. There’ll be a new scandal next week. Nobody said anything in class. They were just worried about you, really. I know it doesn’t make it better.”


They lapsed into silence again, but Willow sensed not to break it this time. She comforted Tara with hugs and kisses.


“I hate…that she knows stuff,” Tara said eventually, sniffling, “A-And now everyone in class...”


“I know, baby, I know,” Willow gently soothed, “I do too. But we have to just forget about it. I mean, if you can. We can't let her keep hurting us...”


She rubbed circles on Tara’s back for another few moments.


“Which is why…”


She leaned back and pulled the drawer of her nightstand out. She took out her journal and presented it to Tara.


“Here. Read it.”


Tara looked at the offering, wide-eyed.


“Oh, Willow, no–”


“No, really,” Willow insisted, “And it’s not because of her, I was thinking about this last night. You’re the person I want to know me better than anyone. So you get to read it.”


She left it in Tara’s hands, who stared down at it, then offered it back.


“Maybe you should think about it.”


Willow shook her head.


“You can wait if you want. But that’s yours now. I’m not even writing in it anymore.”


Tara’s eyes creased.


“Willow, you love your journal.”


Willow nodded.


“Uh huh. I do. And I’ll keep writing it. On my computer. On an encrypted file. Heavily encrypted,” she replied, smiling easily, “Read it or don’t, it’s up to you. But my heart is open to you.”


Tara looked down at the journal, then held it up to her chest with a soft smile.


“Okay. Thank you,” she said sincerely, unsure yet whether she would open it, “If you’re really sure?”


“I really am,” Willow replied, a little nervous to reveal all her ramblings but knowing it was right, and even excited to have herself be laid out, knowing Tara would love her still.


Tara smiled bashfully at being so trusted and leaned over to press a kiss against Willow’s cheek.


“I'll treasure every word.”


Willow turned her head to meet her lips, but only got a smooch for a minute or two before Tara gently pulled away.


“You have Chem Lab.”


“Hey, look at you, memorising my schedule,” Willow replied with a big smile, and waved a hand dismissively, “I’ll miss it.”


Tara shot her a look.


“No you won’t.”


“I-I can stay. Really,” Willow replied, though her resolve was fading.


Tara shook her head.


“I’m just going to mope and feel sorry for myself until I can forget about it all,” she replied, cupping Willow’s hands and bringing them up to kiss between the knuckles, “Go, that class is attendance graded, isn’t it?”


Willow went back and forth in her mind for a few moments before jumping up.


“Okay,” she said, then looked around and found Tara’s cell on the desk, handing it to her, “Answer it if I call.”


Tara took it and noted the missed calls on the screen.


“Sorry.”


“And text if you need me. Promise?” Willow asked.


Tara nodded.


“I will.”


“Okay. Well, I’ll be back after class,” Willow replied, getting her bag back over her shoulders, “Love you, Tare-bear.”


“I love you too, Willow,” Tara replied, blowing a kiss across the room.


Willow smiled, caught it and left with a wave.


Tara lay back down on the bed and sighed. She glanced at the journal, lying beside her.


She was still highly embarrassed by what had happened, but Willow being so trusting with her went a long way to get rid of the hurt.


She picked it up.


She said I could…


She looked long and hard at the plain black-and-white cover before finally opening it, noticing the familiar neat scrawl on the first page.


~


Baby,

I'm not writing your name just in case...but I don't plan on letting other people read this. This is just for me, to get out my thoughts to you.

You’re lying sleeping beside me right now. I love your bed, you know that? It’s the comfiest. I always kinda thought I’d hate sharing a bed, all cramped and kicky and blanket tug-y. But it’s not, it’s warm and cuddly and all of the good. That’s just because of you, though. You just told me all about your ‘family’. Pfft, some family. But you showed me your mom’s journal, and I realised I wanted a 'you' one too. So here I am, writing to you. Hoping that one day you’ll call me ‘family’ too…


~


Tara paused, a small smile playing on her lips and continued to flick through.


~


Honey,

Well...rough day. I betrayed you. Fished around when you asked me not to. I'm so happy you forgave me, I don't know why you did, but you did. Gave me another chance. Never thought about it much before but I don't think many people have offered me those...or I haven't ever felt like I would be given one...



You,

You! Yes, you! You, bringing me to make out with the books! In front of them, and the librarian! Oh, you...you...



Love,

I get to call you that now! Love! Because I love, love, love you and you love, love, love me. You told me, I can’t believe you told me! ‘Cept I kinda can and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. I hope you don’t mind if I say it a lot, I’m kinda obsessed…



Beautiful,

Watching you sleep again. But it’s a lot different this time. A little because you’re naked but mostly ‘cause of what we just shared. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. I don’t even know what to say other than wow…



...so great living with you. I was never much of a sharer, but I don't want anything to be mine if it's possible for it to be ours...



...meant what I said, love the living-ness, but god, baby, can you just put the cap back on the toothpaste? I love you and everything but a girl has her limits...



...I will never eat shrimp again. Not risking it, not ever, nope. You're too precious. My heart was breaking thinking about you having your...I can't even write it...I'm weak...not strong like you...



...been taking sneaky photographs of you. You're just soooo pretty. They're not naked or anything, not that I wouldn't say no...



…ugh…ugh…UGH! WHY WAS HE NAKED!? Is this karma for writing I wanted naked pics of you? Because she is a cruel mistress if showing me Mr. Ding-A-Ling was my punishment!...



…-ucking terrified! You can’t even know, my heart stopped, I swear! I couldn’t grab you in time and then you just splashed so loud and I thought you were drowning! I’ll tell you something Tara, I can’t ever feel that again, I can’t, I don’t care what I have to do. You won’t be hurt. I swear it…


...keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! That's what I wanted to say to you when you were batting around like a fish but I didn't think you'd seen Finding Nemo...you should, you're funnier than Dory and cuter than Nemo and cooler than Crush, I really mean it! We can watch it together...



…so hot…and I feel kinda bad writing about you like this so much, but do you even realise how sexy you are? Glad this is of the write-y and not of the speak-y, but sometimes I get so wet looking at you I have to change my panties…



…and that’s when I saw them, our kids. Us playing with our kids, there on the beach. And I wanted them. I really did. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I want kids, I want our kids. A boy and a girl, maybe more. I never thought about being a mom before, I didn’t exactly have the best role model, but you’d be a great mom. And I think I could be too, with you…



…I still brush it off, how they treated me. Or didn’t treat me, I guess. It’s my Dad I miss the most, the time we had when I was really little. Before he decided I was old enough to be ignored. I guess when I started getting good grades, I stopped being a daughter and started being an achievement. But learning to ride my bike, even though I broke my arm, it’s one of my happiest memories because we were together…



…God, Becky can be such a bitch sometimes. But she was there for me when no one else was, and she never dismissed me as a nerd or a geek or anything else the others all called me. And she never means bad, but I promise, I’ll really try to get her to stop with the teasing, I know it makes you uncomfortable. Can’t make any promises, but I’ll do anything I can to make you happy. I love you…



…think you’ll be such a great social worker. You don’t talk about it much, but it’s so amazing that you can take everything you went through and channel it into wanting to help others get out of it. That kind of kindness and empathy is mind-boggling to me. I don’t think I could do it. Heck, I don’t even know what I want to do…



…yeah, well, I hope you’re right about her and she doesn’t end up being some kind of stalker. I know you have good reason, but it still kind of hurt that you didn’t trust me not to snoop. Even though you were right, I was going to. Complete hypocrite and nonsensical here, but there you go…



…church? No, that wouldn’t make any sense, why would we get married in a church. Temple maybe? I wouldn’t mind. A rabbi would be nice. Would you mind if we had a rabbi? Hey look at me, asking you what kind of wedding you'd like when I haven't even asked you to marry me. That's funny, huh? I didn't even think...just knew (hoped?) that it's a given. I certainly want it to be...



…never realised how selfish I was before I met you. I never had reason to think about much else, but now I do. I promise, even when I’m a dope, you’re the first thing on my mind…



…laugh. Love your laugh so much…



…when your hair just catches the moonlight or the sunlight, I swear you’re an angel, for real…



…she likes you, she does. And watching you now I really wonder if you like her too…



…I’m your girl. I’ll always be your girl. And when you kissed me just now, I felt like you gave me forever. Your kisses always feel like that. Does that even make sense? Can a kiss give that kind of promise? Because it sure feels like it did. And if it did, I’m holding you to it…



…forgetting about all that stupid stuff. No matter what we go through, I know we have each other. I believe that now more than ever. I love you, beautiful…



~


Tara was noticing a trend, a phrase repeated at least once per page.


~



…I love you…



…I love you…



…I love you…



...Yup, still writing. This is gonna be my last entry, at least in my ‘trusty’ notebook. After everything...well, after everything my confidence in computer passwords has increased. I don't want to dampen my last entry so I'll say this: That was one of the roughest things I've, we've, ever gone through, and yeah, it really, really sucked. But you know what? We got through it. We did. That means something. That counts...

...I love you,

Your Willow

~


By the time Tara was looking through the last pages, the ink still fresh from the night before, tear drops were staining the paper. Willow returned just in time to see one splash.


“No, no, it wasn’t supposed to make you cry!” she exclaimed, throwing her bag on the floor and rushing over, “Is it, is it the toothpaste thing? Because I was only griping, it doesn’t really bother me that you leave the cap off, it just, it gets all crusty, but it’s fine, it’s totally fine, it’s better that way in fact! Please don’t cry.”


Tara laughed and scooted over far enough to wrap her arms around Willow.


“Oh,” Willow said, relaxing under Tara’s touch, “Good tears?”


Tara sniffed.


“Yeah.”


They hugged for a minute or two before Tara pulled back and picked the journal up, marvelling at it again.


“They’re all letters to me.”


Willow shrugged bashfully.


“Well like I said. You’re the person I want to know me best. You’re the person I want to tell things do…out loud or on paper. That's how it's always been.”


Tara came across another profession of love on a page and decided something.


“Do you have plans for the evening?”


Willow shook her head.


“Why?”


“I want…I want to open up, like you did,” Tara replied shyly, “If you want to listen.”


Willow was quick to nod.


“Yeah, I'd love to.”


They lay face-to-face and spent some time in companionable silence for a while before Tara began to speak, reciting memories of the little and big moments from her life. Willow listened, smiling when Tara did and offering comfort when she felt it was needed.


“My first memory is when I was about three. My mom waking me up singing. It’s pretty hazy, but it’s there. We loved to sing together whatever we were doing; washing or baking or homework even. She made up a song to help me with my fractions…



…I didn’t really have any friends growing up. A few came over once in first or second grade but never wanted to come back after my Dad came home and shouted at my Mom for letting them. Never wanted to talk to me at all actually. I didn’t mind too much, while my Mom was around anyway…



…I always had a stutter, as long as I can remember. It was never too bad, like how it is now, until my mom died. It got worse after that, but it’s getting better again now. It was sort of a blessing actually. People got so sick of waiting for me to speak, they stopped asking. I always figured that was a good thing but looking back, maybe it wasn’t…



…They used to fight. My dad was always stern, but my mom never backed down. She wasn’t afraid of him. I think I survived so long after she died because I tried to be like her, but it was an act. I was scared. Really scared…



…I remember it pretty clearly. I walked out of school and almost ran back in because my Dad was waiting there instead of my Mom. But he spotted me and dragged me to the car. Threw me in the backseat and didn’t say a word the whole drive to the hospital. I had no idea where we were going. When we got there he shoved me in the door of the room where her body was and said ‘She’s dead. Say goodbye ‘cause you’ll never see her again’. Then he disappeared. A nurse found me and sat with me. I didn’t cry. I think I was too shocked. I just held her hand ‘til they took her away…



…He made me do the clearing out after the funeral. Didn’t want a single thing of hers left in the house. I know he had pain too, she was his wife, but he was just cruel. I think that was when he realised he had a little slave on his hands. ‘Little’ being operative, he knew I wouldn’t fight back. He knew he could control me. It wasn’t all bad though, I did get to keep what I could sneak out, that’s how I got her journal…



…I don’t know what to say about the…the abuse. As long as I kept the house clean and food on the table, I could get away with threats and menacing stares. He liked to ‘warn’ with slaps. It was when he got drunk that it got the worst, he’d lash out. Get me cowered into a ball, punch and kick me. That’s how I got the concussions, kicks to the head. The wrist break was when he pushed me down the stairs. My fingers when he stood on my hand…”



They had moved from face-to-face to side-to-side at some point during the time, something Willow was grateful for as she worked hard to keep her breathing steady and not let the tears pricking at her eyes release. There was silence in the room for another while as they gathered their thoughts.


“He brought women home,” Tara ventured eventually, eyes still fixed on the ceiling.


Willow waited for Tara to continue, but sensed after a moment she wanted to be prompted.


“Women?”


Tara hesitated.


“…working women.”


Willow eyebrow twitched with surprise.


“Oh.”


Tara’s eyes became glassy with emotion.


“He used to say if I ever left him, that’s all I’d be good for.”


Her breathing started to increase, chest rising higher than it had before.


More silence followed.


“I thought about it.”


Willow blinked twice and turned her head towards Tara. Tara remained still, though her cheeks were paling.


“I decided to run away when I was 16. I was going to go to Manhattan. It looked so busy and like there were so many people on TV, I didn’t think he could ever find me. I’d been saving a quarter every time I got groceries and picking up change whenever I saw it. Had about 10 dollars in pennies saved up over the years and over 50 with the rest. Just about enough for bus fare. I thought I’d leave, find a shelter and get a job. Hotel maid or café waitress or…something.”


Her voice was starting to break, but she kept talking.


“B-but I knew…I knew leaving like that…I knew that he could be right. No education or experience. I knew that if I went down that route, that there was a possibility that that was the avenue I’d have to go down to survive. A-and I accepted it. I was going to go. I was willing to sell my body if I had to.”


Willow was unmoving, in quiet shock and Tara blinked away some wetness in her eyes before pushing herself up and facing away.


“So there’s my deep, dark secret. I was going to whore myself out. Hate me if you want, I hate me too.”


Willow was quick to pull herself together and sat up. She scooted over to put a hand on Tara's back.


“Tara, no,” she said, voice full of love and concern, “I can’t even imagine how horrible it must have been for you to, to think it was better to be on the street. But I don’t think any less of you for it.”


Tara’s head was hanging down but Willow went searching for her eyes, slipping down to her knees in front of her girlfriend to find them.


“You wanted to get out and you considered your options,” she said, taking both of Tara’s hands and squeezing them, “Tara even if that was a path you had gone down, it wouldn’t affect how I feel about you, how I see you. I-I’ll be forever grateful you didn’t have to get involved in such a dangerous…profession…but…”


She lifted one hand to Tara’s cheek and brushed some hanging hair away, then gently cupped it.


“You are strong and you are brave and I just believe that even more after what you told me.”


Tara let her eyes be met, tinged with vulnerability.


“Do you mean that?”


Willow’s hand went to cover Tara’s heart over her shirt.


“With all my heart.”


Tara let one tear fall down her cheek, which Willow quickly wiped away.


“Tara, if, say, in five years' time, a girl came to you needing help because she’d found herself in that situation, would you think less of her because of it?”


Tara shook her head.


“N-no, I’d want to help her.”


“‘Course you would, and I’d feel the same,” Willow replied with a loving smile, “Tara? Can I ask why you didn’t…?”


Tara toyed with her sleeve.


“I got called into a meeting with my guidance counsellor around the same time. Said she was interested in my test scores and that I could get a scholarship if I worked hard enough,” she replied, wiping her sleeve softly under her nose, “I got a new avenue. So I opted for it instead.”


Willow’s head momentarily dropped with sheer relief that she’d been presented with that ‘avenue’, then she lifted it to kiss her girlfriend squarely on the forehead.


“So brave.”


Tara felt a whole new level of adoration coming from Willow and a closeness between them unlike anything she’d felt before or even knew was possible.


“I’ll tell you more. Moving out here and learning to live by myself and…” she started, then smiled softly, “And finding you. But can we take a break? I’m so tired.”


“‘Course we can,” Willow replied, gently rubbing Tara’s knuckles with her thumb, “And it’s not a break. Because I’ll never stop listening. I want to be the ear you bend for the rest of our lives.”

[BuffyFan4ever]

Dibs

Stupid Mia doesn't know when to give up. I would love to know how she tried to justify herself to the professor. Glad she's out of the class.

@ Tara's past.

'She’s dead. Say goodbye ‘cause you’ll never see her again’.

WHO BREAKS THE NEWS LIKE THAT!!! She could have gone to the authorities for abuse on that comment alone!

“I got called into a meeting with my guidance counselor around the same time. Said she was interested in my test scores and that I could get a scholarship if I worked hard enough,” she replied, wiping her sleeve softly under her nose, “I got a new avenue. So I opted for it instead.”

Good for Tara

Can't wait for more.

[zampsa19752001]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I'm glad that Bitch M is gone for good.... I'm really really glad that Willow gave her journal to Tara so that Tara would know what Willow thinks about her... Big yay for Willow being there to give Tara loving cuddles when Tara told Willow about her shitty childhood...

[bluepaintbox]

Laragh,
Thank you for the update!!!
I absolutely love your writing.
You convey their emotion, love for each other beautifully.
Can't wait for the next update.

[willowtaralover]

You are one sneaky kitten Laragh, I didn't even notice that you had been updating this awesome story. you're not related to Miss Kitty Fantastico are you buy any chance Fortunately I have a full bank holiday weekend to read and catch up with your story and hopefully I can provide you with some feedback.

[willowtaralover]

Ok, I just read chapter 35 so here's a little feedback on it.

Right from the off I don't like Mia. Apart from the fact that she reminds of a certain potential slayer from season 7 I don't like the fact that she tries to come in between Willow and Tara.

“No, I insist!” Willow cut her off, “Let’s go drop our books off real quick, it’s only a couple of T stops away and there’s a panel on at 4 I really, really, really want to go to. Ever heard of a TV show called Doctor Who?”

Tara shook her head and steam almost blew from Willow’s ears in shock. She started to gush about the entire show with detailed explanations of each doctor.

Willow's a Doctor Who fan as well??? I need to be friends with this girl. Anyone who can go into detailed descriptions of the show and all the different doctors to date has got to be worth knowing. Who's her favourite Doctor? Does she have a favourite story or stories??? As a fellow Whovian theses things are important to me.

Willow bounced in her seat and looked between the empty stage and Tara giddily.

I remember doing that very well when I saw the 'Star Trek-Into Darkness' trailer for the first time when watching 'The Hobbit', sadly no Tara to share my giddy excitement with :sad

Love Willow's excitement at getting what I assume is David Tennants autograph. I felt the same way when I had my picture taken with Amber and she hugged me afterwards. even to this day if I'm feeling sad I just remember that moment and I'm at that level of excitement again. I haven't completed FC yet so I hope some of this appears there, I can very easily picture Willow and Tara sitting down on a Saturday evening to watch Doctor Who with JJ.

I'd actually like to nominate myself as Willow's adopted brother for this fic as she doesn't meet Xander til later on. We can talk about the differences in the various versions of Trek, commiserate over Chris Eccleston not being in the Dr. Who 50th Anniversary special in November and destroy and mutilate Jar-Jar Binks toys for fun (she has to like Star Wars too right?)

I like Kim, she seems to be a nice normal person compared to that religious nut-job Chelsea.

I've just looked back over the dates and found out that somehow I missed all the chapters from the 20th March on. Bad WLT, bad, bad WLT ame I intend to get as up to date as I can and thank you for giving me a chapter with which I could indulge my own geek infested roots.

[Laragh]

BuffyFan4ever -

Stupid Mia doesn't know when to give up. I would love to know how she tried to justify herself to the professor. Glad she's out of the class.

Headcanon is that she said she was doing her biggest acting job yet and it was all an experiment (and was quickly shot down and kicked out of class)

@ Tara's past.

It's sad, but at least she got out.

WHO BREAKS THE NEWS LIKE THAT!!! She could have gone to the authorities for abuse on that comment alone!

Assholes.

Good for Tara

Thanks for commenting!

zampsa19752001 -

I'm glad that Bitch M is gone for good....

Me too!

I'm really really glad that Willow gave her journal to Tara so that Tara would know what Willow thinks about her... Big yay for Willow being there to give Tara loving cuddles when Tara told Willow about her shitty childhood...

A sad but nice moment for them to share

Thanks for your comment!

bluepaintbox -

Thank you for the update!!!
I absolutely love your writing.
You convey their emotion, love for each other beautifully.
Can't wait for the next update.

You're too kind, thank you

Thanks for commenting!

willowtaralover -

You are one sneaky kitten Laragh, I didn't even notice that you had been updating this awesome story.

I update every Wednesday!

you're not related to Miss Kitty Fantastico are you buy any chance

Not to my knowledge

Fortunately I have a full bank holiday weekend to read and catch up with your story and hopefully I can provide you with some feedback.

Woo hoo!

Right from the off I don't like Mia. ... I don't like the fact that she tries to come in between Willow and Tara.

You're not supposed to like her. She is the biggest of C U Next Tuesday's.

Willow's a Doctor Who fan as well???

But of course!

I need to be friends with this girl. Anyone who can go into detailed descriptions of the show and all the different doctors to date has got to be worth knowing. Who's her favourite Doctor? Does she have a favourite story or stories??? As a fellow Whovian theses things are important to me.

I think she has a fangirl crush on David Tennant, is a big Rose/Ten shipper and likes the stories with the Cybermen!

I remember doing that very well when I saw the 'Star Trek-Into Darkness' trailer for the first time when watching 'The Hobbit', sadly no Tara to share my giddy excitement with :sad

It brings the giddy child out in all of us.

Love Willow's excitement at getting what I assume is David Tennants autograph. I felt the same way when I had my picture taken with Amber and she hugged me afterwards. even to this day if I'm feeling sad I just remember that moment and I'm at that level of excitement again. I haven't completed FC yet so I hope some of this appears there, I can very easily picture Willow and Tara sitting down on a Saturday evening to watch Doctor Who with JJ.

There's some very minimal star trek references, but you can take it as head canon that Willow at least watches DW with him

I'd actually like to nominate myself as Willow's adopted brother for this fic as she doesn't meet Xander til later on. We can talk about the differences in the various versions of Trek, commiserate over Chris Eccleston not being in the Dr. Who 50th Anniversary special in November and destroy and mutilate Jar-Jar Binks toys for fun

I think she probably geeks out online, but if you can find a way to go back to 2005... (you'll need to find the Doctor!)

(she has to like Star Wars too right?)

Of course.

I like Kim, she seems to be a nice normal person compared to that religious nut-job Chelsea.

She is.

I've just looked back over the dates and found out that somehow I missed all the chapters from the 20th March on. Bad WLT, bad, bad WLT ame I intend to get as up to date as I can and thank you for giving me a chapter with which I could indulge my own geek infested roots.

You've got a few to catch up on then

Thanks for commenting

---

Update Directly Below

[Laragh]

********

TITLE: College Confidential

WRITER: Laragh

CHAPTER RATING: NC-17

DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.

SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to Hacker Confidential and Family Confidential - the college years!

SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.

FEEDBACK: Yes please

Chapter 43

********

Tara lay on her stomach on the bed, idly watching Willow playing with her laptop.


The room was dimly lit by one lamp and the glow of the moon from the dark night sky outside. They were both in their pyjamas but after only a few minutes of lying down, Willow had decided to bring out her laptop and Tara found herself unable to sleep either.


“Are you writing?” she asked, the screen angled away from her.


Willow shook her head.


“Playing a game.”


“Oh, sorry,” Tara replied, “Didn’t mean to disturb you.”


“Don’t worry, not a disturb-y kind of game,” Willow said, smiling over to her, “I’m not really playing it, just want to kill some time until I’m tired enough to sleep.”


Everything was quiet for another few moments until Tara shuffled just a bit closer.


“Do you want to kill some time…together?”


Willow’s head snapped over, wondering if she’d heard right.


“Sex?”


Tara’s cheeks flushed lightly.


“If you want.”


The laptop was on the floor in seconds.


“I do! I thought you didn’t, I thought, I thought maybe you were still hurt over the Mia stuff, that I didn’t trust you. You just, you know, haven’t tried anything.”


Tara lifted her hand to Willow’s pillow and played with the tag sticking out.


“I wanted to after we shared everything that night. But you just tucked me in…I thought it was about what I told you. I wanted to give you some time to see if you could still…see me the same way.”


Willow’s brow creased.


“Oh, Tara, no. I didn’t realise. I thought you wanted to be cuddled, feel safe. I meant it, to know what you grew up with, and…then I look at what you are…it makes me proud. It makes me love you more.”


Tara’s smiled shyly.


“Then love me.”


Willow smiled back easily and scooted down so they were face-to-face. She brushed the hair from Tara’s eye and kissed her softly.


Tara loved that first, tender kiss that they started with; the way Willow slowly opened her lips, promising her of all that was to come.


She rolled onto her back under the encouraging push of Willow’s body.


Willow’s hand went to Tara’s hip, catching that patch of skin where the tank she was wearing didn’t quite reach the shorts. Her fingers slipped under the fabric and caressed Tara’s belly as her tongue gently pried its way between her girlfriend’s lips.


She moaned softly against Tara’s lips, revelling in the feel of her skin after so many days; though it easily felt like weeks.


Tara could feel her muscles jumping under Willow’s delicate touch. She crossed her arms behind Willow’s neck and let them slide slowly down her back, slipping under her pyjama bottoms to her buttocks.


Willow moaned and squirmed, pressing her body close to Tara’s. Her hand reached up further to cup a full breast, causing Tara to arch back into her, breaking the kiss.


“Oh Willow…”


Tara bunched her hands gently in Willow’s pyjama top, then sat up, taking her girlfriend with her and resumed a passionate kiss. Her fingers found the first button on her girlfriend’s pyjama top and she started to undo them swiftly, breaking only when Willow lifted the tank over her head.


Willow looked down to Tara’s naked chest as an eager tongue played with hers. She helped shrug her own top off and moaned when their breasts pressed together, but it was quickly interrupted by a giggle escaping her lips as Tara pushed them back down the other way.


“We’re upside down.”


“I’m not complaining,” Tara whispered back, her lips finding Willow’s throat.


Willow felt her breath catch and quickly decided she wasn’t either. Her hand traced Tara’s spine from the base of her back, up to her neck, where she gently pulled her up and kissed her again.


She felt Tara suck on her bottom lip, and squirmed in delight when she got an occasional nibble. She dropped her hands slowly down her girlfriend’s back, and was about to tug her sleep shorts off when Tara jumped away from her.


“I’ll be right back,” she promised before scurrying off to the bathroom.


Willow waited impatiently for several seconds before lifting herself up and shimmying out of her pyjama bottoms. She heard the flush of the toilet and gripped the sheet excitedly until Tara came back out.


Tara was even quicker to return than she was to leave, dropping her sleep shorts along the way before jumping on top of Willow.


They both giggled and Tara placed a soft, chaste kiss on Willow’s lips.


It quickly deepened with soft moans escaping both of them as Tara let herself lie flush against Willow’s body. Willow bent her knee to feel Tara’s heat and rolled her hips while encouraging her girlfriend to do the same.


Tara followed the hands on her hips, softly grinding her body against Willow’s. Their kiss was turning sloppier as they both tried to take in air without breaking it.


Eventually Willow was the one to give into her burning lungs but Tara didn’t waste a second in relocating her lips down into her girlfriend’s neck again.


“Bite me, baby,” Willow whispered through a breath, squirming when Tara nibbled on her skin, “Harder.”


Her hand moved to the back of Tara’s head to encourage her.


“Harde–Ow!”


Tara moved off and looked to Willow’s neck for damage.


“I-I’m sorry, you said harder.”


“It’s okay, I did,” Willow replied, gently rubbing her neck, then lowering that hand to lightly tap Tara’s bottom, “Now we’re even.”


Tara blushed and moved back on top of Willow, kissing down to her girlfriend’s chest to let her tongue make up for her teeth's indiscretion.


Willow felt warmth pool between her legs, only increasing when Tara continued to head in that direction. She let Tara open her thighs and tried to control herself as she was nuzzled into, but barely lasted seconds until she was pushing herself into Tara’s face.


She moaned as Tara tenderly tongued her folds, teasing her clit with gentle flicks. Her hand was moving down to keep Tara in place but a head popped up before she connected. She groaned and thrust her hips up.


“Why’d you stop?”


“‘Cause I wanted to do this,” Tara replied, pressing her lips against Willow’s.


Willow slowly melted under the kiss, warmth spreading through her lower belly and sending a tingling back through her. She felt Tara’s hand slide down between her breasts and over her stomach before two fingers slipped inside her.


She broke the kiss to take in a sharp inhalation and lifted her hips to meet Tara’s strokes.


“Mmmm…”


She writhed around as Tara kissed her neck and chest before she finally rolled herself on top. She straddled Tara to take her more deeply and set a fast pace.


Tara couldn’t resist the allure of Willow’s neck, yet again, as she tilted her head back and sat up to resume kissing and nipping her there. Willow wrapped her legs around Tara’s waist, her hands roaming her girlfriend’s back and leaving soft scratches.


“Yes…Tara…more…please…I’m…so…close…”


Tara was lost in the feeling of Willow’s skin, but was alert enough to hear the words float through her ears. She laid them down ‘upside down’ again and lifted Willow’s leg over her hip, then added another finger in on her next thrust.


Willow’s head hung off the end of the bed and was banging lightly against the frame as Tara’s body towered over and grinded against her.


She rolled her hips into Tara’s hand as her abdomen tightened with pleasure. Her hands tightened in Tara’s back, nails digging into her girlfriend’s skin as her eyes glazed and breath caught.


“Ta…ra…” she whispered raspily as her body arched, pressing right into Tara’s and staying flush as she shook through a release.


She felt Tara’s hand slide up to her breast and then over her hammering heart before falling back down to her arm to repeat the circuit. Willow panted out a few laborious breaths, then had just enough neck strength to lift her head up.


“Holy crap.”


Tara’s hands moved under Willow’s neck to support her, cradling her head as she pressed their lips together for a smouldering kiss.


Willow felt all the air rush from her lungs and went limp. She let Tara possess and take from her, while being maneuvered back so her head was on the pillow.


She felt herself trembling as Tara broke the kiss with a lip nibble, then move up along her jaw to her ear. Her eyes rolled back and she took in a quick breath with a delirious sigh.


“I love Tak–”


She pursed her lips closed and hoped she’d been quiet enough not to pick up on, but Tara’s ear had been right by her mouth.


“What were you going to say?” Tara prompted, lifting her head so they were eye-to-eye and smiling softly.


Willow shook her head, cheeks red and brow still damp.


“Nothing.”


“Yes, you were,” Tara replied teasingly, pressing her hips down against Willow.


Willow moaned almost inaudibly.


“Just…what I call it. In my head. When you go all…” she took a break for a breath, then growled, followed almost immediately by a blush, “Um, Take-Charge Tara.”


Tara’s lips quirked up on one side.


“Take-Charge Tara?”


“Yeah,” Willow admitted sheepishly.


Tara hid her face in Willow’s neck, and Willow could feel the smirking against her skin. They were silent for several contemplative moments before Tara lifted her head, the smirk gone.


“Those words would never have been used to describe me a year ago,” she said, gently wiping some hair from Willow’s brow, “You make me into a different person. One I like better.”


Willow caught Tara’s wrist and kissed her palm.


“There isn’t a ‘you’ I don’t like,” she answered, linking their fingers together, “But I love that I get to see your confidence grow.”


Tara nudged her nose against Willow’s, then let her head rest on her girlfriend’s chest, cushioned comfortably on her breasts.


“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”


Willow inhaled deeply from the top of her girlfriend’s hair and squeezed their palms together while her other arm held Tara’s waist securely.


“Ditto, gorgeous.”


“I mean it,” Tara repeated, kissing Willow’s collarbone, “You always talk about how much better I made your life and how lucky you are and I don’t think you really realise you’re all those things to me too.”


She lifted her head to look at Willow properly.


“I don’t think you realise that I love you as much as you love me.”


Tara expected a smile and kiss and so was surprised when Willow just seemed to pale.


“Are you okay? That was supposed to make you happy.”


“It does,” Willow replied, with a gulp, “So happy. Too happy.”


“Too happy?” Tara asked softly.


Willow was taking in deeper breaths.


“Just…what…what did I do to deserve that? That much love. Because, that’s… that’s a lot. I’ve never done anything but get good grades.”


Tara lifted their joined hands and smiled.


“Well what did I do to deserve you?”


Willow’s face slowly changed from ashen to adoring.


“You’re kind and sweet and loving and loyal and–”


“Funny and caring and thoughtful and passionate and…” Tara cut her off, lips quirked on one side, “Which one of us are we talking about again?”


Willow kept smiling so Tara leaned down to give her a soft and sweet peck.


“I love you. There’s no ifs or whys or becauses. I’m just your Tara and you’re just my Willow.”


Willow bumped Tara’s nose and kissed her again.


“Left smart off the list.”


Tara felt their breath mingling together and couldn’t deny the shot of arousal it sent through her. She threw her leg over to straddle Willow.


“And sexy…”


Willow’s breath caught and she felt wetness pooling between her legs.


Tara-Charge Tara is on a roll tonight!


She took a hold of Tara’s hips and let her hands follow the curves.


“And…um…” she started to say something witty, but was distracted by her fingers digging into Tara’s soft skin, “Fire.”


“Fire?” Tara asked, neck craning back slightly as Willow touched and squeezed her.


Willow dropped her hand and slid her middle finger straight down through Tara’s lips.


“Me. On fire. Your body. So hot.”


Tara wasn’t sure if it was learning of her new nickname or just her own confidence that was growing in the bedroom, but she suddenly caught Willow’s wrist and made her girlfriend trace the wetness of her finger onto her own mouth.


“Maybe I have something that could cool you down…”


Willow thought she might physically burst at the rush of arousal and spent several moments completely sucking her own finger clean. She re-grabbed Tara’s hips and pulled them towards her, lips parted and hungry for more.


“Why don’t you show me?”


Tara waited for Willow to get her on her back, but was confused when Willow just tugged her hips again.


“Like this?” she asked, suddenly unsure.


“If you’d be comfortable…” Willow replied, clearly keen, “I’ve thought about it…a lot.”


Tara flushed but couldn’t deny the flutterings in her belly.


“Would I be too heavy?”


“Let’s find out?” Willow ventured, though was already pretty sure she’d be more than able to handle it.


Tara slowly creeped her thighs up Willow’s body. Willow’s excitement grew as she watched Tara get closer, and toes curled when she was close enough to catch her scent.


Her hands rubbed Tara’s hips encouragingly and rubbed her own thighs off each other to give herself some relief from her own aching clit.


Tara knew she was wet down to her thighs and would be squelching if they weren’t spread by Willow’s shoulders.


Willow’s lower half was bouncing off the bed with excitement and unable to contain herself, had her mouth between her girlfriend’s legs before Tara had even settled properly.


Tara scrambled to try and balance herself off something, ending up with palms flat on the wall and back arched so most of her weight was off Willow.


It was less than comfortable and mightily unsustainable if Willow’s tongue kept up its eager exploring.


She caught sight of how ridiculous she looked in the mirror and came to a complete halt, thoroughly embarrassed.


“Will, Willow…stop, stop.”


Willow’s hand dropped from Tara’s buttocks and she moved her head back as far she could.


“Sorry, Tara…sorry.”


Tara wanted to run into the bathroom to hide, but couldn’t bear the disappointment on Willow’s face.


“I just need to get comfortable.”


Willow’s eyes lit up.


“Oh. Okay. Sure, just tell me when.”


Willow enjoyed the show of ‘adjusting’ almost as much as the actual act but tried to be discreet; she could see the embarrassment already on her girlfriend’s face.


Tara moved around awkwardly for a few moments before just resting softly on Willow’s chest.


“Willow, I have to put my weight on you.”


“That’s fine,” Willow said, liking the angle Tara was at now even more, “You’re nowhere near as heavy as you think you are, you know that? Are you comfortable?”


Tara nodded, so Willow splayed her hands out around her girlfriend’s hips again and tilted her head between Tara's legs.


Tara was still slightly on edge, but Willow was doing a fine job of relaxing her. She soon was at ease and quite enjoying the depths to which Willow could explore her the way she was positioned.


Willow felt Tara start to let go and really enjoy herself, which only made her enjoy it more. She held Tara by her butt cheeks and devoured her girlfriend with her lips and tongue until she felt the thighs start to tremble.


She looked up and watched Tara do the hair-tug on herself to indicate she was close. Willow wasn’t going to let Mia ruin that erotic sight for her. She was pleased to find it still turned her on like crazy.


Quickly casting any thoughts of that nature from her mind, her tongue found its way to Tara’s clit, flicking the tip. She heard the loud, echoing moan hit off the walls and used her lips to add another sensation for her girlfriend.


That was all Tara needed and she came with a quick jolt that lingered through her body, finally leaving through her toes.


She slumped, but Willow was prepared, and sat up slightly to hold her by the arms. She brought them down to safely lie on the bed, though Tara seemed unaware they had even moved; eyes in a faraway place and smile stuck to her face.


Willow was happy to let her take her time, but was quite giddy over the whole experience.


“I like that one.”


Tara gave something that resembled a nod.


“Uh huh.”


Willow turned her head to her girlfriend.


“Can that go on the ‘do again’ list?”


“Uh huh,” Tara answered, on autopilot.


Willow noticed and grinned.


“Do you want to streak across campus?”


“Uh h-what?” Tara asked, blinking twice and looking to Willow in confusion.


“Nothing,” Willow replied lovingly, taking Tara’s hand and bringing her hand up to kiss her knuckles, “We should talk, you know? Like we spilled our souls the other night, but we were both worried about the other not wanting to make love. We should have just talked. Not even just for the sex, but there’s no point in us carrying out worries when we don’t have to. We should talk about the big stuff and the little stuff.”


That look came back to Tara’s eye.


“But the sex was so good…”


She slowly wiggled from her shoulders right down to her ankles, then blushed.


“I mean, yes, talk…anytime.”


Willow was grinning like a Cheshire cat over Tara’s reaction, feeling quite proud of herself. She was eager to know if there was anything else she could do to put that kind of smile on Tara’s face again.


“Is there anything you want to do?”


Tara lethargically moved onto her stomach and curled her body around Willow’s side.


“That thing you do to my spine? Where you massage me up and down?”


“Yeah?” Willow asked encouragingly, before registering the expectant look on Tara’s face, “Oh, now! Sure!”


She put the heel of her palm on the base of Tara’s spine and massaged up, alternating digging her fingers and palm in.


“That’s great, but, um, I meant, you know, um, bedroom-y wise. Like positions and stuff. Anything you think about?”


“Feeling me up in the stadium bathroom pretty much reached the limits of imagination,” Tara replied with a sloped smile, but it dropped off when she thought she saw Willow unhappy with that answer, “I’m sorry. It’s not like I don’t think about you…lots. Guess my mind is still a little reserved. But I think about the things we do every day.”


She blushed and hid her eyes.


“I know I’m a bit of a prude, but I feel like we do lots. And I’m always open to you suggesting stuff.”


“Hey, hey, you’re not a prude,” Willow replied, kissing Tara’s cheek to bring her eyes up, “You’re wonderful. You’re so sensual and erotic and all kinds of sexy. I love what we do and I only wanted to do other things if you did. I don’t even know what the things might be. I was just curious about your thoughts. Want me to do the tickle thing?”


Tara had come to learn when Willow was over-explaining to cover herself and over-explaining just to make sure she was heard, and decided it was the latter in this case. She smiled.


“Yes, please.”


Willow started to brush her fingertips on their way along Tara’s spine. Tara did another wiggle and cuddled right into Willow, then brought her hand up and started to rub her girlfriend’s tummy in gentle circles.


Willow moaned softly and stretched herself right down to her feet, loving the giving and receiving and affectionate touches. She would have been happy to spend the whole night like that.


“Now this is a quid pro quo I can get behind.”

---

Tara was sitting with her back against the wall, head buried in Willow’s chest, who was sitting in her lap. She was quite enjoying slipping and sliding her hands around and letting her mouth pebble her girlfriend’s skin, but noticed Willow wasn’t responding as keenly as she normally did.


She lifted her head, cheeks flushed.


“Hey, what’s wrong? You okay?”


Willow was casting a wary glance over her shoulder.


“The fish can see us.”


“What?” Tara asked, very aware of the feeling of Willow’s legs around her waist.


Willow gestured wildly.


“The fish, it can see us.”


“It’s a fish,” Tara reasoned, but Willow took it as confirmation of her fears.


“Yeah, it must be horrified!”


Tara closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath to calm herself.


“Don’t they have like 3 second memories?”


Willow’s eyes went wide.


“That’s even worse, she's being traumatised every 3 seconds!”


Tara very begrudgingly slipped out from beneath Willow and went over to pile some textbooks in front of the fish bowl.


“Now she can’t see us.”


She came back and resumed her position, but only got a two-second kiss out of Willow before her girlfriend was looking back again.


“Do you think she can hear us?”


Tara tried to remain cool.


“No.”


“Are you sure?” Willow asked, eyes creased.


“Yes,” Tara replied, more firmly this time.


Willow reluctantly turned her gaze away.


“Okay, if you’re sure.”


“I am,” Tara replied, hands moving either side of Willow’s neck, “Can we…?”


Willow let her focus be pulled back and her lips be kissed again, but Tara was the one to pull back this time.


“You’re thinking about the fish, aren’t you?”


“What if we really traumatise her?” Willow asked, nervous and upset, “I want to do right by her.”


Tara fell back onto the bed, hands covering her face.


“What are you going to do when we have kids?”


Willow shrugged.


“Babies can’t tell if you’re having sex.”


Tara’s hands fell from her face.


“Are you serious?” she asked, in a far more unreasoned state than she might be when caught at another time, “I’m sure we haven’t traumatised the fish. And she was exposed to a lot more earlier.”


Willow started to bite the skin around her thumb.


“Maybe I should check on her…”


She climbed off of Tara and went over to the bowl, bending over to peer in. Tara’s cheeks flushed again and took in an eyeful since she was denied a handful.


“Do her colours look a little dull?” Willow asked, putting a finger against the glass near where the fish was swimming in the shallow waters that it liked.


“Willow, we only have a candle, of course they look dull,” Tara replied, grabbing the water bottle on the nightstand to take a long sip, “Supposed to be mood lighting.”


The fish came over to Willow’s finger then, and followed it around as she moved. Happy she was still playing their game, and thus deemed ‘okay’, Willow turned her attention to the other neglected party.


“Feeling a little frustrated?”


“That I’m naked and you’re more worried about the fish?” Tara asked, thighs suspiciously pressed together, “Yeah, a little.”


Willow came back and straddled Tara again.


“I’m sorry…” she said with her best on-purpose pouty lips, “You’re right to pull me up…care about your needs.”


She let her hand slide from Tara’s collarbone, down her chest and stomach and off her body, then pressed her lips between her girlfriend’s breasts and moved up. Her lips trailed along Tara’s jaw and towards her ear, while her hand separated her girlfriend’s thighs.


“Can I make it up to you?” she whispered seductively, nibbling gently on Tara’s lobe.


Tara’s thighs fell apart and neck tilted to the side.


“M-make it up to me?”


“I have some good skills…” Willow said with what started as a sensual smile, but turned goofy as her voice turned into a drawl, “Nunchuck skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills... girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!”


Tara had no idea what had just happened, but went with it.


“Some want girlfriends,” she replied, hands on Willow’s upper arms and sliding down. “Some have girlfriends.”


Willow turned beetroot at her accidental geeking out - it was harder to contain than one might think.


“So, um, about those skills…” she tried again, though the air of sexy had gone.


“It doesn’t involve nunchucks or a bow and arrow, does it?” Tara asked with a crooked smile and mirth-filled eyes.


Willow blushed even more, but that smile always sent her into a tizzy of arousal.


“Well, it primarily involves my mouth and I can call in the hand cavalry if required.”


“Okay, that sounds much better,” Tara replied, puffing out a mock breath of relief, “I was worried there for a second.”


Willow had to laugh at herself.


“Forgive my dorkus maximus. I’ll explain it another time.”


Tara smiled back; she wasn’t sure she’d get it even if the reference was explained, but loved Willow’s goofy moments – at least when they didn’t involve irrational paranoia over fish.


“Good plan…you had another idea for right now. Right?”


Willow nodded keenly and resumed kissing Tara’s neck, a sure-fire way to get them both to the place they’d been in before. Sure enough, she had Tara writhing under her barely minutes later.


As she made her way down Tara’s body, she couldn’t help thinking to herself how great she had it.


Sometimes the geek does get the girl.

[BuffyFan4ever]

Dibs

“Don’t worry, not a disturb-y kind of game,”

Facebook app?

The laptop was on the floor in seconds.

Is it sad that I know I would have checked to make sure I would lose any progress (even on a non-disturb-y kind of game) before stopping, even for sex.

Mmmm Willow-neck

“I love Tak[e-Charge-Tara]"

So do I

“The fish can see us.”

Lucky fish. She is so not traumatized. If she is, it's in a good way.

“I have some good skills…” Willow said with what started as a sensual smile, but turned goofy as her voice turned into a drawl, “Nunchuck skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills... girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!”

I had to look up the quote since I've never seen Napoleon Dynamite (I've seen clips but it's never held my attention). However I do reference random movie and TV quotes and scenarios often. I'd probably go with a Xena reference: "I have many skills."

Sometimes the geek does get the girl.

This gives me hope. Lucky geek.

[zampsa19752001]

Yay for great update-y goodness... They really need to talk about everything and reconnect both mentally and physically... I like their Aussie Kisses (like French Kisses but downunder )... I guess Willow could get them a copy of Lesbian Kama Sutra to give them ideas...

[lilyred]

hey!! I'm new to this forum...dis story is soo grt..grt job wid dis fic
waiting for more updates...

[willowtaralover]

Still playing catch-up here Laragh

chapter 36

I like the little bit of foreshadowing here with the placing of the Tara's name before Willow's surname.

I feel bad for Willow, screwing up her audition piece but at least she ought to be able to get to work backstage which is what she really wanted.

I'm liking Mia less and less. Taking a class just to get to closer to a girl that she already knows is spoken for, that's the sign of a sad person. Having lunch and doing everything to not talk about

“Volunteer,” Mia repeated, trying to keep her voice steady, “I, um, volunteer at a shelter. Just thought, if you had some spare time…we could always use an extra pair of hands.”

Yeah sure you volunteer at a shelter Mia. Why do I get the feeling that Mia has tied a noose here and is gonna end up putting her neck through it.

If Mr. Maclay was so controlling of Tara when she was at home how was she able to go to volunteer before she went to college? Wasn't he afraid that she would run away?

Mia may be interested in Tara but I bet she can't make Tara scream in (or out of) bed like
Willow can.

Chuckle, loved that Grace cottoned on to what Willow and Tara were doing but didn't make a fuss over it.

Willow took pride in her tickling skills, but was just a mere woman and couldn’t help but let her focus be taken away when two full breasts were staring back at her.

tara breasts, is there any finer sight.

Willow’s eyes instantly fell to Tara’s butt, which was very softly moving up and down as her breathing settled.

, first Tara breasts now Tara butt how much more Tara deliciousness can we expect? lots I hope.

And Mia's plans are screwed already by Willow's generous and helpful nature. Hopefully she'll soon realise that nothing can come between our heroes.

Chapter 37

I'm kinda divided here. First a big YAY to Tara on getting offered the lead role but at the same time I can understand that she wouldn't want such a prominent role as it would thrust her in the spotlight and Tara has always been a shy and retiring girl who would find such a role unnerving at best.

Mia’s eyes flashed with Machiavellianism but she didn’t get a chance to reply as the professor quietened them all down again and began to start lecturing on the subject of the day; neoclassical theatre.

Ooh, Machiavellianism; good word, really good word.

It's good that Professor Riggin respects Tara's decision to reject the lead role even though she can see that Tara has much potential.

Love Willow being in awe of Tara's superior sewing ability.

'Hottie Hotpants', surely that's a good name for either Willow or Tara

It appears that the shelter Mia was talking about really does exist. Whoda think it uh.

Sneaky Mia, sending Willow to do a job that's already been done. If I were Willow I'd have mentioned to the old man that Mia was the person who who had told me to do that particular job, even if I didn't know she was hot for Tara.

“Well not many theatre students are offered a leading role in an off-campus stage show,” Ernie said with a puffed-out chest like the proud mentor he was, “And I’m sure she’ll get another offer this year too.”

Ah ha, I knew that Mia would trip up somewhere. come on Willow and use that awesome megabrain of yours to work out what's going on.

“Oh, baby, I’ll massage your hands later,” Tara replied, taking one hand and giving her a quick one then and there.

What?????? She gave Willow a quickie in such a public place? And in front of Mia too????? That Tara, she certainly is a vixen isn't she

“Nothing. Just a bad…vibe, I guess."

I watch 'Warehouse 13' and I know all about bad vibes. They lead to really bad things.

Chapter 38

Love the description of the baseball game Laragh, 'The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. I think I can speak for a lot of people when I say uh? lol.

“For once, I prefer knowing less,” she replied, then smiled over at Tara, “You look super cute in that cap.”

But of course Tara looks cute in a baseball cap, Tara looks cute in practically anything for she is the goddess of cuteness personified.

The fact that Tara willingly shows Willow her boobs on request, in a filthy bathroom stall, after a baseball match, while waiting for Becky shows how awesome she is as a girlfriend.

Reading the whole incident in the bar Becky is the one who appears to be in the wrong, having a go at Willow because she unwillingly saw Lucas' junk and then telling Tara to shut up when she was just trying to be diplomatic. I sense some major grovelling in Becky's future to regain the friendship of the girls. It could have been much worse, Becky could have been dating the shitbag who got a hold of Tara's room key and spyed on Willow and Tara in bed together.

GOOD= Becky telling Willow that she does look hot when apologising for the night before as a form of recognition as to why Luke would be interested in her.

BAD= That Becky then plants the seeds of doubt in Willow's mind as to what may be happening between Mia and Tara.

It took time for Willow and Tara to get to the point where Willow was able to ask Tara out and she accepted because of her nervous shyness so is it really plausible that Mia could get Tara in to bed that fast? Come on Willow, use that big brain of yours and see what's really going on.

[Finey_McFine]

Hey JMT!

I had to slip in under the wire if for nothing else but this:

"I have some good skills…" Willow said with what started as a sensual smile, but turned goofy as her voice turned into a drawl, "Nunchuck skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills... girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!"

I nearly choked on the apple I was eating when I read this, lol. I don't think a day goes by that I don't quote something from this movie. Now I'm wondering what other skills Willow possesses...is she good with a Bowstaff? Maybe training to be a cage fighter or hunting Wolverines? Hmmmm.....

It's hard for me to pick a favorite 'Hacker,' but I love, love, love seeing their humble beginnings! Well, maybe not so humble and more with the super sexy.

Anyway, I'm glad to see Mia the skank is finally gone. Other than bringing the girls closer, she serves no purpose, so good riddance.

Looking forward to more...always the bright spot on an otherwise bleary Wednesday.

-Shelb

[Laragh]

BuffyFan4ever -

Facebook app?

Facebook is still very new in this time!I was thinking more like Solataire.

Is it sad that I know I would have checked to make sure I would lose any progress (even on a non-disturb-y kind of game) before stopping, even for sex.

Mmmm Willow-neck

Tara agrees!

Lucky fish. She is so not traumatized. If she is, it's in a good way.

Haha! Probably.

I had to look up the quote since I've never seen Napoleon Dynamite (I've seen clips but it's never held my attention). However I do reference random movie and TV quotes and scenarios often. I'd probably go with a Xena reference: "I have many skills."

I went back and forth between the two, but it was easier to identify the more specific quote as a geeky one.

This gives me hope. Lucky geek.

Luckiest!

Thanks for commenting

zampas19752001 -

They really need to talk about everything and reconnect both mentally and physically...

They do!

I like their Aussie Kisses (like French Kisses but downunder )...

Haha!

I guess Willow could get them a copy of Lesbian Kama Sutra to give them ideas...

Anya does that in Hacker!

Thanks for your comment!

lilyred -

hey!! I'm new to this forum...dis story is soo grt..grt job wid dis fic

Thank you and welcome!

waiting for more updates...

They're a'comin'!

Thanks for your comment!

willowtaralover -

Still playing catch-up here Laragh

Hope you're enjoying it!

I like the little bit of foreshadowing here with the placing of the Tara's name before Willow's surname.

I think Tara would have been just as happy to take Willow's name outright if they hadn't decided to double-barrel.

I feel bad for Willow, screwing up her audition piece but at least she ought to be able to get to work backstage which is what she really wanted.

You can't be good at everything!

I'm liking Mia less and less. Taking a class just to get to closer to a girl that she already knows is spoken for, that's the sign of a sad person. Having lunch and doing everything to not talk about

Sad? Yes. But mostly egotistical.

Yeah sure you volunteer at a shelter Mia. Why do I get the feeling that Mia has tied a noose here and is gonna end up putting her neck through it.

She does actually volunteer, as you found out. But it's less altruism and more what looks good on a résumé.

If Mr. Maclay was so controlling of Tara when she was at home how was she able to go to volunteer before she went to college? Wasn't he afraid that she would run away?

She was in charge of running the household so would have had shopping time, plus any free periods she had in school.

Mia may be interested in Tara but I bet she can't make Tara scream in (or out of) bed like
Willow can.

She couldn't even try.

Chuckle, loved that Grace cottoned on to what Willow and Tara were doing but didn't make a fuss over it.

She's cool, that Grace.

tara breasts, is there any finer sight. ... , first Tara breasts now Tara butt how much more Tara deliciousness can we expect? lots I hope.

Lots.

And Mia's plans are screwed already by Willow's generous and helpful nature. Hopefully she'll soon realise that nothing can come between our heroes.

She'd want to realise quick before she wrecks herself.

I'm kinda divided here. First a big YAY to Tara on getting offered the lead role but at the same time I can understand that she wouldn't want such a prominent role as it would thrust her in the spotlight and Tara has always been a shy and retiring girl who would find such a role unnerving at best.

There's really not much more to it than what she says. The role requires her to kiss the male lead and she doesn't want to.

Ooh, Machiavellianism; good word, really good word.

One of my favourites.

It's good that Professor Riggin respects Tara's decision to reject the lead role even though she can see that Tara has much potential.

I actually think she'd force her into it if it wasn't just a beginner class.

Love Willow being in awe of Tara's superior sewing ability.

It's a good skill to have.

'Hottie Hotpants', surely that's a good name for either Willow or Tara

Pluralise it and it can be both!

It appears that the shelter Mia was talking about really does exist. Whoda think it uh.

Yup!

Sneaky Mia, sending Willow to do a job that's already been done. If I were Willow I'd have mentioned to the old man that Mia was the person who who had told me to do that particular job, even if I didn't know she was hot for Tara.

Willow assumed she'd just misheard (kinda...her spidey senses are tingling).

Ah ha, I knew that Mia would trip up somewhere. come on Willow and use that awesome megabrain of yours to work out what's going on.

Brains become a lot less functioning when emotions are involved.

What?????? She gave Willow a quickie in such a public place? And in front of Mia too????? That Tara, she certainly is a vixen isn't she

Ha! Not quite, just a little hand massage...

I watch 'Warehouse 13' and I know all about bad vibes. They lead to really bad things.

Especially if your name is Pete

But of course Tara looks cute in a baseball cap, Tara looks cute in practically anything for she is the goddess of cuteness personified.

Ain't that the truth.

The fact that Tara willingly shows Willow her boobs on request, in a filthy bathroom stall, after a baseball match, while waiting for Becky shows how awesome she is as a girlfriend.

Yup.

Reading the whole incident in the bar Becky is the one who appears to be in the wrong, having a go at Willow because she unwillingly saw Lucas' junk and then telling Tara to shut up when she was just trying to be diplomatic. I sense some major grovelling in Becky's future to regain the friendship of the girls. It could have been much worse, Becky could have been dating the shitbag who got a hold of Tara's room key and spyed on Willow and Tara in bed together.

I don't think even Becky's standards would drop that low!

GOOD= Becky telling Willow that she does look hot when apologising for the night before as a form of recognition as to why Luke would be interested in her.

She means well.

BAD= That Becky then plants the seeds of doubt in Willow's mind as to what may be happening between Mia and Tara.

It was unintentional, and she did correct herself quickly, but she definitely should have been more aware.

It took time for Willow and Tara to get to the point where Willow was able to ask Tara out and she accepted because of her nervous shyness so is it really plausible that Mia could get Tara in to bed that fast? Come on Willow, use that big brain of yours and see what's really going on.

Well of course it makes senses to you and me, but to Willow, that just means Mia is so much more irresistible than she is.

Thanks for your feedback!

Finey_McFine -

Hey JMT!

HI!

I had to slip in under the wire if for nothing else but this:

I nearly choked on the apple I was eating when I read this, lol. I don't think a day goes by that I don't quote something from this movie. Now I'm wondering what other skills Willow possesses...is she good with a Bowstaff? Maybe training to be a cage fighter or hunting Wolverines? Hmmmm.....

Probably all three

It's hard for me to pick a favorite 'Hacker,' but I love, love, love seeing their humble beginnings! Well, maybe not so humble and more with the super sexy.

I like writing this one! I started Hacker so far into their relationship as a change of pace from my other fics but I'm glad I went back to this

Anyway, I'm glad to see Mia the skank is finally gone. Other than bringing the girls closer, she serves no purpose, so good riddance.

To bad rubbish, she was a cunt.

Looking forward to more...always the bright spot on an otherwise bleary Wednesday.

Thanks

Thanks for commenting!

---

Update Directly Below

[Laragh]

********

TITLE: College Confidential

WRITER: Laragh

CHAPTER RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.

SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to Hacker Confidential and Family Confidential - the college years!

SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.

FEEDBACK: Yes please

NOTE: I’m sorry, the update is super short this week, I was slammed with some work I had to do. I promise a longer continuance next week!

Chapter 44

********

“Ready?”


Tara rearranged the jewellery around her neck and nodded.


“Great, let's go!” Willow replied cheerily, offering Tara her hand.


They headed out the door and Willow made sure the dorm door was locked, then continued to walk them towards the exit.


At the junction of the stairs, Becky was about to head up, two costume bags hanging over her arm, but immediately halted when she saw the tuft of Willow’s red hair.


She wouldn’t have recognised them on first glance.


“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she said, looking them up and down, “Willow, you dressed up? You said you hated it when I tried last year.”


“Um, no,” Willow replied, matter-of-fact, “I said I didn’t want to dress up in the skimpy nurse costume you produced.”


Tara looked up.


“A nurse?”


“A sexy nurse,” Becky clarified with a wink, recognising the aroused glint in Tara’s eye as similar to one she’d produced when she’d kept said costume to wear on other occasions.


Willow missed it, and Tara was quick to conceal and look away.


“So no nurse, but a hippie and a soldier make the cut?” Becky continued, eyeing the head-to-toe army fatigues, complete with peaked cap, Willow was wearing, as well as the off-the-shoulder puffy shirt and flowing skirt of Tara, with the rimmed sunglasses and peace-sign pendant hanging around her neck.


Willow gestured excitedly between them.


“War and Peace!”


Becky snorted.


“Okay, that’s funny,” she said, covering her mouth for a moment before waving her hand with a dramatic flourish, “Everything I know, I know because of love.”


Willow smiled and squeezed Tara’s hand.


“Sounds about right.”


Becky let them exchange goo-eyes at each other for a second, before interrupting with a whine.


“You guys really aren’t coming to the party?”


“Nope, we’re going to the ghosts and ghouls fair!” Willow announced, clearly much more enthused with their plans than the alternative, “All the fun of a fun fair with that extra grr argh for Halloween.”


“So basically they just hang some bat decorations around?” Becky asked dismissively.


“Pfft, whatever. Better than whatever shenanigans will go on here,” Willow retorted, “With the…loudness…and stuff.”


She trailed off lamely and Becky decided to forego any further hassle.


“Alright, alright. Luke is coming anyway,” she said, tapping the costume bags in indication. She made a move to continue up, but turned back at the last minute with a smile, “I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself.”


“We get it, you know your Tolstoy,” Willow replied with a good-natured roll of her eyes, “I’m taking my girlfriend out now, bye!”


Becky waved and her footsteps stamped up the stairs, while Willow started to lead them out again, though Tara was hanging back and fidgeting with her clothes.


“Do I look stupid?”


“No, you look awesome,” Willow replied keenly, “I look stupid, but I don’t even care.”


Tara was able to get a little more than a glance of Willow’s butt from lagging behind, and though the costume was meant to be baggy, ran a little small and hugged her nicely.


“I think it’s sexy.”


“You do?” Willow asked, delighted as Tara fell in line with her, “Well okay, then.”


A noticeable spring showed up in her step as they walked the few blocks to where a Halloween Carnival was taking place – she’d been sure when she’d made their plans that they would go somewhere in walking distance and wouldn’t have to face the inevitable loonies that would grace the public transit system on such a night.


“Tara, I don’t know if you’ve been out on Halloween before, but it gets pretty crazy. Let’s not split up okay?”


Tara nodded, clinging to Willow’s hand.


“What’s the carnival like?”


“Well, I haven’t been to this one before, but the website said they had street performers and game booths and rides and a band playing and everything, so I’m sure we’ll be entertained.”


The music alerted them to the carnival’s exact location before they’d even turned onto the right block. As they did, they noticed the stream of people flittering about. Willow was instantly sucked into the atmosphere.


“Wow, look at everything! Witches Hat Ring Toss! Pumpkin Toss, Apple bobbing! A GHOST TRAIN! Can we go, can we go?”


Tara barely had a chance to nod before Willow was pulling her off in the direction, waiting impatiently in line until they got a car at the front.


“What exactly happens on a ghost–” Tara started to ask, unaccustomed to rides as she was, but cut herself off with a scream as something jumped out in front of her.


“That!” Willow replied, voice already high from the rush.


Tara’s heart was pounding but was better prepared for the next ghoulish thing to pop out at her, though almost leapt out of her skin when an out-stretched witch’s hand tickled the back of her neck.


By the time they came back around, her hands were practically glued to the safety bar and her eyes were frozen and fixed ahead. Willow was grinning from ear-to-ear, exhilarated with some light beads of sweat perspiring from her forehead.


She didn’t noticed her girlfriend’s lack of movement until the attendant tried to lift the bar but couldn’t.


“Tara?” she asked, putting her hand over her girlfriend’s.


Tara blinked a couple of times, then snatched her hands away from the bar, looking between Willow and the attendant, embarrassed.


“Sorry.”


They stood and moved out of the car, but Willow noticed Tara was swaying.


“Whoa, whoa, baby. C’mere, sit down,” she said, gently but quickly guiding her over to some nearby seats at a concession stand, “Are you okay?”


Tara blushed.


“I’ve never been on a ride before. Just…getting used to the bumps.”


“Oh. Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Willow replied, gently rubbing the small of her back, “I should’ve warned you.”


Tara shook her head, still flushed but from the embarrassment now instead of terror.


“It’s okay, I overreacted.”


Willow moved her hand up to cup the back of Tara’s head affectionately and kissed her right above the ear.


“Want a caramel apple?”


“Okay,” Tara agreed, hands over her belly where they were settling from the flip-flops.


Willow went and got a caramel apple for them both, then retook her seat to nibble on it.


“Okay, so let’s skip the rides for a while. We can play some games and listen to the band, maybe try again later.”


Tara smiled bashfully and leaned over to press a lingering kiss against Willow’s cheek.


“Thanks, captain.”


Willow smiled giddily and took a huge bite from her apple. Tara ate hers more demurely, then went to trash both of their sticks when a woman in a long dress at a henna booth caught her eye and called her over.


“Hey, flower-child,” she said in an accent that Tara suspected was fake for effect, “Want a picture to live up to the name?”


Tara was about to politely decline, but found herself instead drawn over to look at the designs. Willow was by her a few seconds later.


“Are you getting a tattoo?”


Tara glanced to the side at her.


“I don’t know. What do you think?”


Willow smiled.


“Go for it.”


Tara pointed to a particular design on display.


“I like this. I love daisies.”


“I think right here,” the woman suggested, tracing a circle on Tara’s exposed shoulder.


Tara agreed and sat on the little stool by the artist and gathered her hair back so it wouldn’t get in the way. She watched Willow watch the process in fascination.


“I’ve used henna in art class before…not on me though.”


“It’s really pretty,” Willow replied, as the artist finished up, “Look.”


Tara glanced down and smiled shyly.


“It is pretty.”


Tara paid the woman and kept her hair away for it to dry, and they started a circle around the carnival. Willow tried her luck at each and every game booth, while Tara offered supportive cheers and claps, with a victory kiss each time she succeeded.


They ended up back where they started, where a band was playing and people were sitting on the grass, listening. They joined the crowd, Tara sitting between Willow’s legs, leaning back against her.


Willow lifted Tara’s hand to her and kissed the back of her palm.


“Happy Halloween, flower-child.”


“Happy Halloween, captain,” Tara replied, gently rubbing Willow’s shin through her pants leg.


Willow quickly found herself less focused on the music and very much on Tara’s movements. She held out and remained composed for as absolutely long as she could until she was worried she was becoming too turned on to be respectable in a public place.


“Hey, it’s getting kinda late. You know, the crazies and everything.”


Tara pushed herself away and did a soft stretch forward, enough to give Willow a glimpse of the soft patch of skin between her top and skirt. She let out a soft breath and quickly scrambled up so she could squeeze her legs together.


Tara stood too and wiped some debris away from her knees, then slipped her hand into Willow’s. Willow smiled and gave it a squeeze as they headed out the way they came in, passing the Ferris Wheel on the way.


“Hey look, the cars are shaped like pumpkins,” she said, noticing for the first time as they got up close and laughed when she saw the name, “The Cinderella Wheel.”


Tara looked up at the looming structure, impressed. She’d seen many before, but had never been quite so close.


“Do you want to ride before we go?”


“Okay,” Willow agreed, very eager to replace her lonely memories of riding a similar wheel with nobody to share it with in high school during an ill-fated trip to a fair in an attempt to fit in.


They joined the line that was moving quickly, but Tara’s gaze was still turned upwards.


“That’s high.”


“We don’t have to,” Willow replied quickly, not wanting a repeat performance of the train.


“Oh, I’m not scared,” Tara replied easily, “Unless something jumps out at me in the sky.”


They reached the front and got into one of the pumpkin cars. Willow watched Tara peer out as they slowly got higher until they were moving at a steady pace.


“I rode one of these alone once…” Willow said, hand on Tara’s thigh, “Not so much with the fun.”


Tara sat back.


“How come you were alone?”


“Um, equal parts Cordelia, fuzzy sweaters and my inability to appeal to any kind of normal teenage status quo,” Willow replied in a joking tone, though was quite serious.


Tara offered a comforting smile.


“I think we had carnivals but I never really had the opportunity. I’m glad I got to come to one with you.”


Willow smiled back, marvelling as ever how easily Tara could eradicate the hurt and replace it with love.


“Me too.”


They enjoyed the ride in silence, not needing to fill the quiet with anything but their breathing. The music and sounds of the crowd below them drowned out so they were in their own world, no bigger than the dimensions of the pumpkin they were sitting in.


They both had to be pulled to attention by the attendant when the ride was over this time, but there was no stumbling when they finally got out.


“This was like the bestest, greatest Halloween ever,” Willow commented, declining the re-entry stamp for them as they left through the gates, “And thanks for dressing up and just going along with all my crazy stuff.”


“I’d do anything to see you smile,” Tara replied shyly, “And I enjoyed it. I feel silly, but it’s nice to be silly. And it’s even nicer when it’s with you.”


Willow felt her heart skip a beat and contented herself with just smiling at Tara, not sure words would come if she tried.


“So, um, still up for the scary movies?” she asked after a long while, when they were almost back on campus, the first moment she trusted her voice.


“Yes. I mean, I think so,” Tara replied, somewhat unsurely, “I’ve liked the movies you showed me so far.”


“Oh we haven’t even dented into the Rosenberg collection,” Willow replied, smiling, “You’ll be a regular aficionado by the time I’m done with you.”


Tara gently swung their hands.


“What if I don’t want you to be done with me?”


Willow smiled slowly.


“Reporting for duty, ma’am. My lifelong tour of Tara.”


Tara turned so she was facing Willow and walking backwards.


“Well, as a hippie, I have to tell you I greatly oppose the war,” she said, her lips quirking up on one side as she pulled Willow close, “But I’m definitely for supporting the troops.”


Willow could only smile as Tara pressed their lips together sweetly. They fell back in step so Tara wouldn’t fall but it wasn’t long until they were hearing the loud thump of music overriding the quite-high-already noise from the street.


“Is that noise coming from our building?” Tara asked uncertainly.


“Curfew was a half hour ago,” Willow replied, looking down at her watch, “I thought we’d just be coming back to a big mess.”


They rounded a shrub and it quickly became obvious the noise was indeed blaring from their building along with a considerable amount of people who were smoking outside.


“Oh boy,” Willow commented, loud enough for Tara to hear, “Let’s just push through and put the TV on real loud or something, okay?”

---

To Be Continued...

---

[BuffyFan4ever]

Dibs

Yay for Halloween.

Love Willow and Tara's costume idea.

I probably wouldn't enjoy the rides that much either. I hate roller coasters and I hate being startled. It's even worse when I know I'm going to be startled but I don't know when or how.

Tara + tattoo = SEXY!!!

“Well, as a hippie, I have to tell you I greatly oppose the war,” she said, her lips quirking up on one side as she pulled Willow close, “But I’m definitely for supporting the troops.”

Can't wait to see how . Let's skip the scary movie and go right to the 'supporting'

Can't wait for more.

[zampsa19752001]

Yay for great update-y goodness... I like their outfits... I loved their time in the fair...

[lilyred]

Such a great update...love their time in rides...wish i could be in one now...
waiting for more updates..

[willowtaralover]

I'm almost caught up with the story, almost but not quite

Chap 39

She read for a little while but found herself distracted, so took out her journal instead and started to write.

Just as she picked up the pen, she heard Tara’s laugh float over and glanced up to see Mia squeezing her girlfriend’s arm.

Her heart sank as her pen hit the paper.

Are you really mine? Because I’m really yours.

Poor Willow, I can understand her fears but Tara has shown her repeatedly that she's Willow's girl and is interested in no one else. I'm guessing that somewhere in her past Willow had a bad time with a girl she really liked but who treated her like crap which is why she's so full of doubt now.

Willow was so busy bouncing giddily on her feet she didn’t notice the quiet thud of something falling behind her.

Uh oh, I'm guessing that this is the book Willow's just been writing in and a certain wannabe girlfriend is going to find it and cause more trouble than she already is.

Ya gotta adore a girl like Tara, filching food and setting up an intimate little picnic set-up in hers and Willow's room, no wonder that Willow doesn't want to disrupt things and 'rock the boat' as it were.

“I’ve been bringing it to class to kill time,” Willow replied, sinking down to sit on the bed, near tears, “I must’ve dropped it.”

Ok, I know that the book is important to Willow, especially with the message she wrote about herself and Tara, and I can understand that but surely being practically in tears over it
is a little over dramatic. That would be the kind of reaction that I would expect if Willow accidentally came upon Tara in bed with a man.

Mia must be really confident that she can win over Tara with the derogatory way that she's talking to Willow, hopefully though we'll soon see Darth Rosenberg kicking ass old school style.

“Face it, Willow, I’m the one she wants. She just doesn’t know how to let your pathetic little self, down,”

Hit her Willow, don't take that crap from that sad pathetic little bint.

Reading Mia's verbal attack on Willow was horrible, it was one of the most heart-breaking things I've ever read. Then you upset us even more with the fight between Willow and Tara Don't ever put us through that again Laragh, I only ever want to read about sweet Willow/Tara loving and no interference from outside parties. It's really upsetting.

Chapter 40

“Nice to know how many people you put ahead of me when it comes to our relationship.”

“At least I only put them ahead, not under me!” Willow shot back.

Sweet Frilly Heck!!!!!!!!!!! did Willow really just say that? Is she short a few marbles or what??? At least Becky's there to put her straight.

So far Willow's had a fight with Becky over accidentally seeing Luke's...personal area, now she's having one with Tara over her (non-existent) cheating. Is she going to have one with Mia next and has she always been this violent? I know she gets really pissed with Anya in the future stories but was Willow like this beforehand. Though with Sheila as her mother it would explain it.

The scene outside Willow and Tara's room is pretty unsettling with Tara's pnic attack as she flashbacks to how she had to behave when living with her father, who essentially treated her like a slave.

A big YAY to Grace for coming along and helping Willow when she did.

At last Willow finally accepts and believes that Tara is innocent of all that she's been accused of. Now maybe the girls can get on with the task of giving Mia a mutual butt whuppin'. Possibly even inviting Becky along to watch.

Their make-up hadn’t been a lie, a ploy, had it? It couldn't be. Everything Tara had said had been so honest, so real. She trusted her. She had to.

WTF!!!!!!!! We know that Willow's insecure in herself but is she brain dead too? She's been with Tara for so long now and they've just had their first major fight which they have recovered from and got back together. Now Willow's risking everything all over again by tailing and spying on Tara. Instead she should have insisted on going along with her, even if in the guise of making sure she got her journal back.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Tara asked loudly and, for her, quite aggressively when the door had only been open half a second.

YAY; kick ass Tara is here. She'll be able to put Mia in her place and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is a one woman...woman.

“This is my girlfriend’s,” Tara said, keeping a firm hold on it, “Have I said that enough for you? Girlfriend? Who’s not you? Do you get it yet?”

Oh yeah, you go Tara. Show that skanky ho who's in charge.

Gotta love Becky's joy at seeing her two best friends back together. Well hallelujah indeed

“Wow, no trick-or-treater fun there,” Willow replied. “My nanny let me dress up one year but my mom wasn’t happy when she found out. Said encouraging too much imagination could lead to living in a fantasy world or blah blah blah who gives a rat’s ass what she thinks.

I would have thought that Sheila would have paid heed to Einstein's saying that 'Imagination is more important than knowledge.' Still it didn't work, Willow's an awesome geek loving Star Trek, Doctor Who and going to conventions.

Loved the sweet ending when they're laying next to each other on the bed, happily together again after almost breaking up due to Mia's selfishness. Big YAY's all round.

[Wills redemption]

Awww, again a very sweet chapter! Loved the costumes and Tara getting her henna tattoo. Yay for them sharing another "first time together"-experience that helps them overcome bad memories (mainly on Willow's side here).
Many heart-warming moments, my favourite probably this one:

"What if I don’t want you to be done with me?”


Willow smiled slowly.


“Reporting for duty, ma’am. My lifelong tour of Tara.”


Tara turned so she was facing Willow and walking backwards.


“Well, as a hippie, I have to tell you I greatly oppose the war,” she said, her lips quirking up on one side as she pulled Willow close, “But I’m definitely for supporting the troops.”

I am a little confused about the timeline though...they celebrated their 9-months-anniversary a few days ago, but since they did get together after Valentine's day shouldn't it be the end of November now? Or did they celebrate "9 months after first meeting"-anniversary?

Anyway, I'm curious what else Halloween will have in store for them and how Becky and Lucas have dressed...

[Laragh]

BuffyFan4ever -

Yay for Halloween.

It was your request!

Love Willow and Tara's costume idea.

Yay!

I probably wouldn't enjoy the rides that much either. I hate roller coasters and I hate being startled. It's even worse when I know I'm going to be startled but I don't know when or how.

I'm not a rides-lover either.

Tara + tattoo = SEXY!!!

Hmm, you might like something that hap--spoiler

Can't wait to see how . Let's skip the scary movie and go right to the 'supporting'

Sorry to disappoint but I'm sure you can imagine!

Thanks for commenting

zampsa19752001 -

I like their outfits... I loved their time in the fair...

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for your comment!

lilyred -

.love their time in rides...wish i could be in one now...

Haha! Maybe a fair will come to where you live!

waiting for more updates..

Every Wednesday! (or at least I try)

Thanks for your feedback

willowtaralover -

I'm almost caught up with the story, almost but not quite

You're getting there!

Poor Willow, I can understand her fears but Tara has shown her repeatedly that she's Willow's girl and is interested in no one else. I'm guessing that somewhere in her past Willow had a bad time with a girl she really liked but who treated her like crap which is why she's so full of doubt now.

Not even slightly. She was never interested in anyone before Tara. Absentee parents, no friends and relentless bullies until college, however, are all big contributing factors.

Uh oh, I'm guessing that this is the book Willow's just been writing in and a certain wannabe girlfriend is going to find it and cause more trouble than she already is.

Yup

Ya gotta adore a girl like Tara, filching food and setting up an intimate little picnic set-up in hers and Willow's room, no wonder that Willow doesn't want to disrupt things and 'rock the boat' as it were.

Tara just does everything from a place of love which is so awesome.

Ok, I know that the book is important to Willow, especially with the message she wrote about herself and Tara, and I can understand that but surely being practically in tears over it
is a little over dramatic. That would be the kind of reaction that I would expect if Willow accidentally came upon Tara in bed with a man.

It's all her most intimate thoughts, I think it's pretty upsetting to lose it.

Mia must be really confident that she can win over Tara with the derogatory way that she's talking to Willow, hopefully though we'll soon see Darth Rosenberg kicking ass old school style.

She brings cocky to a whole new level.

Hit her Willow, don't take that crap from that sad pathetic little bint.

Tara wouldn't have appreciated that.

Reading Mia's verbal attack on Willow was horrible, it was one of the most heart-breaking things I've ever read. Then you upset us even more with the fight between Willow and Tara Don't ever put us through that again Laragh, I only ever want to read about sweet Willow/Tara loving and no interference from outside parties. It's really upsetting.

I don't plan to again!

Sweet Frilly Heck!!!!!!!!!!! did Willow really just say that? Is she short a few marbles or what??? At least Becky's there to put her straight.

Yup, she did. You say some stupid stuff when you're upset.

So far Willow's had a fight with Becky over accidentally seeing Luke's...personal area, now she's having one with Tara over her (non-existent) cheating. Is she going to have one with Mia next and has she always been this violent? I know she gets really pissed with Anya in the future stories but was Willow like this beforehand. Though with Sheila as her mother it would explain it.

Willow consistently has a temper, she learns how to control it better as the years go on.

The scene outside Willow and Tara's room is pretty unsettling with Tara's pnic attack as she flashbacks to how she had to behave when living with her father, who essentially treated her like a slave.

It is, hopefully they can avoid it again.

A big YAY to Grace for coming along and helping Willow when she did.

She's a great RA!

At last Willow finally accepts and believes that Tara is innocent of all that she's been accused of. Now maybe the girls can get on with the task of giving Mia a mutual butt whuppin'. Possibly even inviting Becky along to watch.

Maybe...

WTF!!!!!!!! We know that Willow's insecure in herself but is she brain dead too? She's been with Tara for so long now and they've just had their first major fight which they have recovered from and got back together. Now Willow's risking everything all over again by tailing and spying on Tara. Instead she should have insisted on going along with her, even if in the guise of making sure she got her journal back.

It's understandable, and more importantly, Tara understood.

YAY; kick ass Tara is here. She'll be able to put Mia in her place and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is a one woman...woman. ... Oh yeah, you go Tara. Show that skanky ho who's in charge.

We love Take Charge Tara!

Gotta love Becky's joy at seeing her two best friends back together. Well hallelujah indeed

Yup!

I would have thought that Sheila would have paid heed to Einstein's saying that 'Imagination is more important than knowledge.' Still it didn't work, Willow's an awesome geek loving Star Trek, Doctor Who and going to conventions.

You can't stop who you're meant to be.

Loved the sweet ending when they're laying next to each other on the bed, happily together again after almost breaking up due to Mia's selfishness. Big YAY's all round.

Yay, yay, yay!

Thanks for commenting

Wills redemption -

Awww, again a very sweet chapter! Loved the costumes and Tara getting her henna tattoo. Yay for them sharing another "first time together"-experience that helps them overcome bad memories (mainly on Willow's side here).
Many heart-warming moments, my favourite probably this one:

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I love just writing them being sweet together.

I am a little confused about the timeline though...they celebrated their 9-months-anniversary a few days ago, but since they did get together after Valentine's day shouldn't it be the end of November now? Or did they celebrate "9 months after first meeting"-anniversary?

Doh! My brain must have been less than functioning that day! I've gone back and fixed to to eight, thanks for letting me know

Anyway, I'm curious what else Halloween will have in store for them and how Becky and Lucas have dressed...

Read on and you shall see...

Thanks for the feedback!

---

Update Directly Below

[Laragh]

********

TITLE: College Confidential

WRITER: Laragh

CHAPTER RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.

SUMMARY: The first part of the prequel to Hacker Confidential and Family Confidential - the college years!

SPOILERS: Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.

FEEDBACK: Yes please

Chapter 45

********

Previously:

“Is that noise coming from our building?” Tara asked uncertainly.


“Curfew was a half hour ago,” Willow replied, looking down at her watch, “I thought we’d just be coming back to a big mess.”


They rounded a shrub and it quickly became obvious the noise was indeed blaring from their building along with a considerable amount of people who were smoking outside.


“Oh boy,” Willow commented, loud enough for Tara to hear, “Let’s just push through and put the TV on real loud or something, okay?”

---

Tara nodded, not sure she'd be heard over the crowd. Willow kept her hand tight as she opened the main doors and tried to push through the sexy bunnies and wannabe-Native-Americans.


Almost every room on their floor was opened and people in various costumes were flittering in and out. Willow could see a lot of the beds were already ‘occupied’ despite being in full view of everybody. She was beginning to consider taking Tara to a late-night movie theatre instead, when they were approached by a bronzed beauty in full Egyptian garb, complete with headpiece and perfectly styled hair.


Willow had to admit, Becky did know how to dress up.


“Whoa,” Tara commented upon seeing, her eyes widening in a way Willow didn’t like.


Becky was grinning wildly and threw her arms around them both.


“Willow! Tara! You came back!”


Willow had encountered drunk-Becky enough times to know when she was inebriated and when she was just giddy; the latter being the case this time, though she was sure her friend had had a punch or two.


She was still annoyed by Tara’s reaction.


“We thought it would be over.”


“You two are so party-illiterate,” Becky replied with a playful roll of her eyes, “We got hours until we get shut down!”


Tara was at their door now and had the key in.


“Let’s just go in and–”


She was interrupted as a man in a baboon costume but with the head off bounded over and pushed the door open before bombarding in.


“New room! New room! New room!”


“Uh, no, not a new–” Willow started to protest, then marched over to him when he picked up an ornament on the dresser, “Hey! Get away from that!”


Some more people pushed past Tara to experience the ‘new room’. She stood still, puzzled for a moment, until Becky was gesturing someone over. She clung to her boyfriend’s arm when he got there, that same grin plastered onto her face though her eyes had changed from amused to aroused.


“And my Mark Anthony,” she said, tapping Lucas’s chest, right above the gladiator belt, “Show her your sword!”


Tara’s eyes went wide but she was very relieved when Lucas pulled out a plastic sword from a sheath on the belt.


“Your costumes are very cool,” she replied, her eyes drawn again to Becky’s head, “I love your headdress, it almost took my breath away when I saw it. The beadwork is so intricate; I wish I could do something like that. I’ve made Willow some bracelets and necklaces, a watch once, but never something so detailed.”


Becky twirled one of the strings of hanging beads over her face, happy that all her efforts into costume-ing were being complimented.


“Thanks, I had it custom made, my head was too small for most of them,” she replied, then pointed her thumb at Lucas, “This one was easy, show a man a sword and he’ll do whatever you want.”


True to form, Lucas was playing with the sword, batting it against the light saber of a Luke Skywalker that had appeared. Becky rolled her eyes but was smiling and turned back to Tara.


“Hey, I was thinking about next year’s costume–”


“Already?” Tara interrupted, an eyebrow quirked up.


“Halloween is a serious business,” Becky replied, her tone indicating she meant just that, “Anyway, I was thinking about Alice in Wonderland. That’d be cool, right? But with one of those head-band hats, the little ones on top? And with some ruffles and a bow to match a neckpiece maybe. I dunno, it’s still in the works, but that’s what I’m thinking.”


Tara nodded along; the idea of planning something so far in advance baffled her, but at least she knew of the character Becky was talking about.


“That sounds nice.”


Becky nodded keenly.


“So you think you could do it?”


“Me?” Tara asked, confused.


“Yeah, Willow says you’re great with this stuff and you said you’d made some jewellery and stuff before. Will you help?”


Tara smiled, slowly and shyly.


“Sure I will.”


Becky threw her arms around Tara.


“Thank you!”


Willow appeared at that moment, shoving a Superman out the door.


“I said don’t touch my stuff!” she snapped at him, then eyed the other two cagily, “Hey…”


“Hi!” Becky replied, embracing Willow quickly too before pumping her hands in the air when a new tune started playing, “Oh, I love this song…babe, let's dance!”


She started to dance around in the middle of the crowd with Lucas and Tara smiled, admiring her ability to be so unselfconscious, whether sober, drunk, or in her current state of tipsy. Willow saw the look and frowned, but Tara looked away almost as soon as first glance.


“This is kinda fun,” Tara commented shyly, “I’ve never been to a party before.”


Willow frowned more.


“You want to stay?”


Tara shrugged.


“I like the music.”


There was an awkward lull and Tara wasn’t sure why, but Willow was unable to bite her tongue and spoke up again quickly.


“So…Becky’s costume is nice, huh?”


Tara smiled and nodded.


“Uh huh.”


“She went as Pocahontas last year…the slutty version,” Willow replied, her nose turned up slightly, “Probably would have liked that too.”


Tara blinked slowly, twice.


“Excuse me?”


Willow couldn’t meet her eye and just looked ahead at the crowd.


“Just sayin’…”


“‘Just sayin’…what exactly?” Tara asked, though her tone indicated she already knew.


Willow’s jaw was clenched a moment before she was able to attempt a shrug of nonchalance.


“That you were very appreciative.”


“Really? After everything?” Tara asked, pushing herself off the wall, eyes hurt and betrayed, “I was admiring the headpiece.”


She walked away into their room but was too shy to ask the people sitting - thankfully, just sitting - on the bed to leave, so wandered over to lean by the window.


Willow hung back against the wall, ego bruised though she was too stubborn to admit she was wrong yet. She was beyond mad that her room had been unwillingly taken over and was a half-second away from snapping when Becky came back over, took both her hands and tried to pull her away from the wall, jovially.


“Willow, come on, I love hanging out with you, but don’t make me chaperone you! Mingle! I don’t want to see you hiding against the wall.”


Willow snatched her hands back.


“I’m not in the mood.”


Becky straightened up, eyebrows moving a centimetre up on her face.


“What happened to you, grumpy? You’re a solider, not one of the seven dwarfs.”


Willow glanced from side to side, resolve slowly crumbling, until her hands finally fell by her sides.


“I upset Tara.”


Becky scoffed.


“In the two minutes I was gone? Wow, that must be a record. What happened?”


Willow slumped against the wall again.


“My green-eyed, red-haired jealousy monster.”


“Who?” Becky asked, looking around for the potential interest, before barking a laugh when she saw the way Willow was looking at her, “Me?!”


“Well she couldn’t stop staring at you!” Willow replied, exaggerating her words and a motion towards Becky.


Becky twirled the same string of beads.


“She likes the headpiece.”


Willow’s heart sank. Tara really had been telling the truth.


Of course she was.


“Oh, just…after Mia…” she said as she glanced over at Tara, who was now talking to Fred Flintstone, “After Mia, I should be trusting her more than ever.”


Becky joined Willow against the wall.


“Let me tell you something,” she said, her tone indicating she wasn’t kidding around, a rare occurrence for her, “You know I love Halloween, right? It’s a big thing for me?”


Willow tried not to throw her hands up as if to say ‘duh’.


“Yeah, just a little.”


Becky was quiet a moment in thought.


“Well, every year since I was 13, I’ve planned a costume that can be used on its own, or as part of a couple, depending on my romantic situation. Even when I was with Tim and thought I could marry that asshole, I always thought, ‘gotta make sure I can use it if something happens, can't ruin my Halloween!'”


Willow waited for some conclusion to the story, but Becky was silent.


“Yeah, so?”


Becky dropped her head, then lifted it again, smiling.


“So, I just asked Tara if she wouldn’t mind helping me out with my next costume. Because I didn’t doubt for a second that she’s still going to be around next year.”


It was Willow’s turn to be silent, taking that all in.


“You guys, you’ve got this energy,” Becky continued, her hands gesturing around in a ball, trying to manifest said energy, “I don’t even know how to describe it. But if I found something like that, I don’t think I would ever have a wandering eye.”


Willow looked sceptical at that.


“I know! Me! So you know it’s serious,” Becky said, smiling her usual jokey smile though her eyes still shone with genuine warmth, “You just have to get it through that head she only has goo-goo eyes for you.”


Willow’s cheeks lightly tinged and she found herself looking at Tara again; barely noticing the man standing beside her and just the soft smile and angelic features of her girlfriend.


She tore her gaze away to smile at her friend.


“Thanks, Becky.”


Becky bumped her shoulder against Willow's.


"I swear I'm your love guru sometimes."

---

Tara saw a man in an orange and black-polka-dot dress with a blue cravat approach. He was holding two red cups in his hands and offered one to her. She wasn’t in much mood for company, but decided it was better than feeling sorry for herself. If she had to be in a party, she may as well enjoy herself.


“Hey,” the guy said, his smile carrying a disturbing quality hidden beneath charm, “Or should I say yabba-dabba-doo.”


“Hi,” Tara greeted shyly, declining the cup.


Tara’s shirt was modest, but had enough allure to draw you in. The man took advantage of the view.


“Saw you all on your own here. I’m Nathan. Or I guess you could call me Fred.”


“Oh, I’m Tara,” Tara replied, hands behind herself now as she looked around uncomfortably.


Nathan somehow misconstrued that as an invitation to come closer.


“Here by yourself?”


Tara could still see the back of Willow’s head, but shrugged in annoyance.


“I guess, kinda.”


“Well I’ll keep you company,” Nathan replied, that smile coming out again, “Sure you don't want a drink, Tara?”


He offered one of the cups again but Lucas ran over before Tara had a chance to accept or decline, dramatically poking Nathan in the chest with his sword.


“Don’t drink that!”


Nathan huffed out a breath and straightened up to Lucas.


“What’s the problem, dude?”


Lucas seemed to realise he looked ridiculous with the sword out and quickly shoved it back in the sheath but stayed shoulder to shoulder with Nathan.


“The problem is, I saw you slipping something in there.”


Nathan pushed one of Lucas’s shoulders.


“Hey bro, this is none of your business. There ain’t nothing wrong with this drink.”


“Then drink some yourself,” Lucas challenged.


Nathan floundered for a moment before pushing Lucas again and walking off.


“Whatever, man.”


Lucas was about to follow him but was distracted as Willow came over to them.


“What’s going on here?” she asked, looking all around in concern.


“That guy just tried to roofie Tara,” Lucas said, pointing at the back of the head that was quickly disappearing through the crowd outside the room.


Willow’s eyes flew to Tara, then to where Lucas was pointing before she finally ran off to the source of the music and yanked the plug from the stereo system. The whole dorm collapsed into silence.


“Party is OVER!” she yelled, eyes wild with fury, “I will call the campus police, I don’t care if I get in trouble too! I will have every one of us written up!”


There were shouts and grumbles all around and Becky came skidding up.


“Willow, what the hell?”


Willow was just barely breathing, sucking in a laboured breath every few seconds.


“Some guy tried to roofie Tara.”


Becky’s eyes went wide and she quickly spun around to face the disgruntled party go-ers.


“Party’s over! And everyone watch your drinks!” she announced and everyone seemed to accept her words, though not happily.


The place started to clear quickly.


“Where is he?” Becky asked, eyes scouring for someone ‘suspicious’.


“Scampered off,” Willow replied, wishing she’d had a chance to sock him one, then immediately finding herself grateful she hadn’t, knowing it would have scared Tara.


“Is Tara okay?” Becky asked.


Willow was already running back down the hallway to their room.


“I gotta go check!”


She slid into the room and went over to take Tara’s hands.


“Tara, baby, you okay?”


Tara gave a little nod.


“Little shook up,” she replied honestly, then offered a small but real smile to Lucas who was walking over to Becky by the door, “Glad Lucas was here.”


“Yeah, thank you. Really,” Willow said over to him, then gently cupped one of Tara’s pale cheeks, “Tara, you sure you’re okay?”


Tara nodded again, but her eyes were downcast. Willow knew it wasn’t because of the roofie-attempt.


“Tara, I’m sorry.”


Tara shrugged one shoulder.


“It’s okay.”


“It’s not. I look at boobs and you let me away with it, but I jump at you for admiring a headpiece. It’s not fair, especially after everything that just happened. You have to understand, it’s not that I thought you were cheating, I will never make that mistake again. But I’m jealous,” Willow replied, her hand gently falling from Tara’s face, “Because you’re beautiful and smart and kind and everything that’s good in the world and I selfishly want all your attention to myself.”


Tara lifted her head and shook it.


“That’s not selfish.”


Willow toyed with her hands awkwardly.


“Even if you are looking at other women, I mean, it’s just looking–”


“But I’m not,” Tara interrupted softly.


Willow’s shoulders visibly relaxed.


“Okay. I’ll try not to get jealous if I totally misread a situation and think you are,” she said, then had to tack on, “But I can’t make any promises if I can see someone else blatantly checking you out. I know, I know, I’m weak. I’m insecure. It's a personal flaw, it’s not a doubt on you.”


Tara was quiet for a moment, before replying in a quiet voice.


“I get a little jealous sometimes too.”


“You do?” Willow asked, surprised – Tara had never expressed it or made her feel like it was the case.


Tara nodded; she understood that first pang of angry annoyance when someone looked at Willow the way only she wanted to.


“Yeah, I do. With Danny and Lucas and when guys, or girls, pass you and look back. The…boobs thing. I get jealous. I wanted to glue their eyes shut, and throw towels over the girls’ chests.”


Willow was shocked.


“You never said a word, gave a dirty look, anything. A-a little on the boobs thing, but…” Willow suddenly stopped and considered their different approaches from Tara’s point of view, “Wow. I’m looking at other girls’ chests. What’s wrong with me? How much of a hypocrite am I? I’d be crushed if you were thinking about another girl sexually. I just was, that just happened and I... I-I mean you’re entitled to your thoughts, but if I knew you were…Wow. I'm a jerk.”


Tara frowned for a moment.


“You told me it wasn’t sexual. That you weren't fantasizing about them.”


“And that’s the truth,” Willow replied honestly, “But why should you believe me? I don’t even understand it myself!”


Tara squeezed Willow’s upper arm gently.


“I believe you. I worked it out, actually. You look at boobs the way I might look at a nice pair of nails.”


Willow was struck dumb for a moment, clarity falling over her face.


“That’s actually a really good way of putting it. No one ever gets it, like, oh, she’s looking at boobs so she must be thinking of them sexually. But no one would ever say oh you’re looking at someone’s hand, so you must be thinking of that sexually, even though, we, you know, use them pretty predominantly,” she said, making sure to keep her voice down, though was speaking quite speedily, “How’d you figure that out? I couldn’t even explain it properly, just waffled and thought you let me away with it to avoid a fight.”


Tara shrugged one shoulder softly.


“You say boobs.”


Willow blinked.


“You lost me.”


“You say ‘boobs’. When you’re referencing other girls. You always say boobs. Sometimes you call mine boobs too, when we’re playing around, but most of the time…mostly you say breasts,” Tara replied shyly, voice even quieter than Willow’s, “Like, ‘I love your breasts’ or something. And you say it like I’m the only person in the world who owns them. Not any old pair of boobs, but breasts, real breasts. Like the others are just things, but I’m a woman, your woman. So that’s how I figured the difference.”


Willow had to bring her hands up to cover her face a moment to compose herself.


“We’re having a conversation practically in public about boobs and you’re gonna make me cry,” she said, exhaling softly and holding Tara’s hand tight, “No one ever understood me. It’s so stupid, but it’s not just this, it’s everything. You just get everything.”


Tara leaned over and kissed her softly.


“I love you, Willow. I always just want to be the best person I can be for you.”


Willow was about to hug her, but had a question first.


“Tara, does it hurt you when I look? Honest answer.”


“Until I understood…yes,” Tara answered honestly as requested, But not now. You can look at ‘boobs’ if I can look at hands.”


Willow laughed and forwent a shake for the owed hug.


“Deal.”


Tara accepted the hug, then pulled back to meet Willow’s eye.


“And the other kinds of jealousy… if you can trust me and I can trust you that it’s one-sided on the other side…I think we can work it out.”


Willow leaned forward and rested their foreheads together.


“Forgiving infrequent, irrational moments of lunacy? Because I know I’m going to have some in our lifetime of years.”


Tara smiled her special Willow-smile.


“I don’t think two women could be in a relationship if we didn’t.”


Willow smiled too, and would have laughed if the movement wouldn’t have separated them.


“Really, really sure you’re okay?” she asked once last time.


The shake had gone from Tara’s hand, but was still concerned about the whole situation.


“What if he goes onto another party and hurts some poor girl?”


“We can call campus police, give them a description?” Willow suggested and Tara nodded quickly.


Willow picked up the phone but didn’t get a chance to dial before Becky called over.


“We’re gonna head out to find a new party or something. Wanna come?”


“Um, well we have to make a call, then we were gonna watch some scary movies,” Willow replied, then looked to Tara, “If you still want to?”


Tara nodded, as did Lucas, who appeared very much in favour of their plans.


“Yes, that is how you spend Halloween! Dark room, big screen, Aliens bursting out of your stomach–”


“Pfft, try a girl climbing out of your TV,” Willow interrupted.


Lucas laughed.


“A girl after my own heart.”


“Well why don’t we just leave you two to your Halloween love-fest…” Becky suggested, trying to be jokey but the underlining tone of bitterness still coming through.


“Babe…” Lucas said, holding up his hands defensively.


“She already turned him down,” Tara pointed out, then blushed and looked away.


Becky cackled.


“Nice,” she said, walking over to high five Tara.


“You guys can stay and watch movies with us if you want,” Willow continued, holding the receiver against her shoulder, “I got popcorn and one of those plastic pumpkins full of candy and everything.”


“Got any beer?” Lucas asked, kicking a stray red cup by the door away.


“I have Dr. Pepper and Sprite,” Willow answered, matter-of-fact.


Lucas shrugged.


“I’m in.”


Everyone looked to Becky, who seemed on the fence.


“Skittles?” she asked and got a nod from Willow, “Alright, alright. I can be convinced to take a night off.”


Willow waved them in.


“Make yourself comfortable, we want to call in a description of that guy.”


“Good idea,” Becky replied and closed the door, leaving the mess on the other side.


Willow made the call and they passed the phone between all of them to get an accurate description, and were promised someone would scour the area, which eased Tara’s mind.


“Lucas, come help me pick movies,” Willow said as the other two got the snacks and drinks out.


Becky put the popcorn in the microwave and sat on the floor with her back against the bedframe. She took the bulky headpiece off and stretched her legs out, but was watching Lucas and Willow carefully.


Tara was piling cans into her hand from the mini-fridge, and Becky beckoned her close when she came back over.


“I know she’s not looking at him, but do you think he’s looking at her?”


Tara looked over her shoulder where Lucas and Willow were pawing through her DVD collection.


“I don’t think so.”


“I wouldn’t normally be so…” Becky replied, biting the corner of her lip, “Just when there’s already history.”


“I really don’t think–” Tara was quick to reassure but Lucas spoke, or yelled over her.


“Dude, are you kidding me? Rocky Horror?”


All the worry immediately went from Becky’s face. That ‘dude’ spoke volumes to her.


“Never mind,” she said with a wave of her hand, “That’s my man.”


Tara wasn’t sure what had happened, but was happy as long as Becky was. Lucas and Willow came back after a few minutes and sat beside their respective girlfriends’.


“Okay, we agreed to start with the alien babies, move onto The Wicker Man–” Willow started.


“The original 1973 version, not the sucky remake with Nicolas Cage,” Lucas interrupted.


“Right!” Willow agreed, nodding along, “Then slip in some Night of the Demon for good measure and finish with–”


“Seven days,” Lucas added in, speaking in unison with Willow in a creepy children’s voice, after which they both started laughing.


“Boys,” Becky said with a playful roll of her eyes.


“Hey,” Willow protested, pouting, “I’m not a boy.”


“I can vouch for that,” Tara added and once again found herself blushing.


Willow blushed too and Lucas smirked while Becky laughed again.


“Tara, you are on a roll tonight.”


They all settled with a drink, a handful of candy each and a bowl of popcorn between each couple.


“Are they really scary?” Tara asked when the opening credits started, voice nervous.


“I’ll hold you, don’t worry,” Willow reassured quickly, scooting close to her and taking her hand.


Not one to be shown up, Lucas tried to stretch his arm over Becky’s shoulders.


“Yeah, babe I got–”


“Yeah, because you’re so intimidating in that dress,” Becky cut him off with a snort.


“It’s a tunic!” Lucas replied, huffing his chest out.


“Shush, it’s starting,” Willow interrupted, hand already deep in popcorn.


Tara only lasted minutes before her head was buried into Willow’s neck, shielding her eyes from the screen. She stayed like that for most of the night, finally falling asleep during Night of the Demon.


Lucas was the next to drift off near the beginning of The Ring, head tilted back onto the bed and arm still around Becky. Neither Willow nor Becky noticed their slumbering significant others and followed them into sleep before the movie was over.


Tara woke with a start at the sound of a shrill scream and almost leapt out of her skin from the fright. After a moment of gathering herself, she realised she was still on the floor and the scream had come from the television.


She was quick to turn it off and flip the lights on, though was surprised when no one else woke up.


Becky and Lucas were slumped over each other on against the bed and Willow was sprawled on the floor now that Tara wasn’t there for her to rest on. The floor was littered with empty cans and candy packets, so Tara did a quick and quiet clean-up until the floor was as clean as it was when they had left for the fair earlier.


Once that was done, she regarded the others again and decided to just let them sleep. She got the spare blanket from the closet and covered Lucas and Becky, then got herself under Willow and lifted her slowly into the bed.


Willow started to stir, but Tara calmed her with a kiss and covered her up again when she settled.


She went to brush her teeth and changed into some pyjamas, then gratefully crawled in beside Willow and nestled herself under her girlfriend’s chin.


She fell asleep for the second time that night, beside the only person she ever wanted to know the peace of slumber with.