Continuing Fic: Coming Back (Updated 01/18/08)

[kindagay]

Hey Car

Just thought I'd jump in & join all the other well wishers. I'm sending lots of positive, get well soon vibes to you & your computer.

Take care

Hugs
Jeanne

[terra21]

Ok Car, if I leave feedback will you update?

I like letters. I especially like love letters. Which these are, however the authors just don't know it yet, not really. I have a big ole box of love letters from high school to the recent past. It's kinda cool to pull them out every couple of years when you're cleaning out the closet and go through them, and remember the frame of mind you, and they, were in at that time. Yeah, and sad at times, but it kinda puts your life into perspective. Whoa, I'm being all philosophical, gtg.

Btw, are these handwritten or typed?

Cause ya know the handwritten letter is close to extinction.

[hermitfish]

Hi-ya Car...I'm just now catching up. I'm so glad I did.

What I enjoyed most from the last update, in particular, is the flow between the letters. It is wonderfully done and paints a lovely portrait through that expanse of time...much better than a conversation or summary would have.

Looking forward to more, but patiently waiting until you feel better. I hope that is very soon, hun.

~Cyd

[Kaia]

I'm really sorry to hear you're not feeling well.
I hope you get better soon.
Take care

K.

[GayNow]

Thanks for the well wishes, gang! My little infected elbow is getting better...slowly...but getting better.

And my computer is all better too! I had to reformat my hard drive...so I lost some programs I really liked. But, I'm back on broadband, my computer is acting like it's brand new and I can always get those programs again.

Working of feedback replies right now. Then I'm going to do the final edits and fixes on Chapter 7. Then I'm going to post. If the Gods and Goddesses are on my side, you should see an update tonight!

Love to all!

Car

[JustSkipIt]

Hey, you said you were working on replies. If I had known you were writing an update, I wouldn't have wasted your 10 minutes on Pearl Hunter.


Ok, yeah, I would have.

[watty]

If I had known you were writing an update, I wouldn't have wasted your 10 minutes on Pearl Hunter.

You can keep yourself to playing for ONLY 10 minutes? That day I was home, I spent the entire afternoon and evening playing. I think you'll find I'm a lot better now, heehee.

[GayNow]

Title: Coming Back
Author: GayNow (Carleen)
Email: cmspry2@gmail.com
Feedback: Pretty please? Just remember, I leave feedback for you! Okay, maybe not for every update....but I try! And...and...I leave novellas. Okay okay....I'll be happy with a smilie face.
Distribution: Archiving is fine…please let me know where so I can call all my friends and yell, “Look! I’m famous!”
Rating: This part…PG…future parts…PG-13…will there be kisses and smut?…hmmm....dunno....we’ll see. I’ll make sure I give fair warning.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The story, however, came out of my delusional little brain.
Summary: AU....no Hellmouth...no magic....no demons...no slayer....Willow and Tara made a solemn promise to each other 8 years ago.
Author’s Notes:

• This fic was inspired by my own fic challenge (Third Time's a Charm). But...well...it sort of took on a life of its own. So, I decided to give it its own thread. I'm nice that way.
• This is my first attempt at fic writing...or posting what I've written, anyway. And I have all of you wonderful kittens to thank for inspiring me. I'm not going to start listing off all of the individual authors, because that would just take too long. You know who you are...you've read my feedback...it's no secret who I worship.
• I have to give special, super-dee-duper thanks to the lovely WATSON for so many things -- for putting up with me...for painstakingly reading chapters and sections and paragraphs and sentences...for dealing with me obsessing over j-u-u-u-u-u-u-st the right word...for serving as co-writer in many many many instances (if it's a REALLY good sentence or phrase...it's probably hers)...for simply being a friend and encouraging me (Okay...encouraging? She was kicking me in the ass is what she was doing!)
• Thoughts in italics
• Thanks to Chris Cook for the super spectacular title graphic!

******************************

Chapter 7

Greetings, New Freshman!

You know, I've always wondered about that term -- "freshman". We aren't men, so wouldn't we be considered "freshwomen"? But, then, that excludes males -- "freshpersons"? Maybe you're called something different in Europe?

Anyway, whoo and hoo! It's college time, baby! I can't believe we're in college, Tare. It's only been a month, but I can already tell it's going to be a very interesting experience, not to mention, very different. Hello! I'm in Boston! That alone is enough to turn my world upside-down...again. (The first time was just over 4 years ago.)

I had to buy a winter coat! A lifetime in Southern California certainly did not prepare me for that. I know I have your sympathy since you went through the same thing. Plus, you're a sympathetic person.

I met my advisor during orientation week. His name is Dr. Harold Bishop, but everyone calls him Doc Harry. I don't know why, but I'm sure I'll find out. He's very cool! His office is adorned with pictures and posters of theme parks -- especially the Disney parks. And he has little Disney and Looney Toons toys all over his desk. I like him! He's really really smart, but he doesn't take himself seriously. He's going to be a lot of fun...and I'm going to learn LOADS from him.

Anyway, we designed my degree program. After this semester, I'll have enough credit to be considered a junior! I guess all of those extra classes paid off. (I have a satisfied smirk on my face right now, by the way.) So, I have officially declared my majors -- Architectural Design and Computer Science. The program is just for me. No one else will have the same degree. Well, that's not true. Anyone who majors in both AD and CS will have the same degree title, but they wont have the same focus, or expertise. I'm like you, Tare...I don't want to choose. So, I'll not only be using the computer programs to do design, I will also be designing and developing the programs for use by architects and designers. Cool, huh? Best of both world, and I can test the programs myself with my design projects. Doc Harry says my combination is rare, so I'll be able to pick and choose when it comes time to graduate and find a job.

My roommate and I are still trying to adjust to sharing a space with someone else. She doesn't have any brothers or sisters either, so it's a big step for both of us. Fortunately, she cares about school and studies often. I'd hate to have a party animal for a roomie...it's bad enough our neighbors are up at all hours. I just don't understand how people can pay so much money for tuition and then just blow off their classes. It makes no sense.

So you'll have to tell me all about England. At least you don't have to learn a new language to study there. Of course, we Americans have spent the last 200+ years bastardizing the English language, so maybe you will have to learn. It's a good thing you already like tea. Ya know, I'll see if I can come up with any more British stereotypes and include them in future letters. I think I'll try to include "sod off, you bloody git" in a conversation sometime...just for fun. (Please, imagine me rolling my eyes at myself.)

As always, Mom and Dad told me to say hello to you. They brought me to school last month. It took them each 2 weeks to arrange, but they were able to adjust their schedules so that their lectures and seminars were either in or near Boston at the beginning of the semester. And they stayed for 2 weeks! In many ways, it was like a family vacation -- we did a lot of sightseeing and shopping. I constantly had to remind Mom that I was living in a dorm and not a 4-bedroom/3-bath colonial. Dad, of course, just followed along, chuckling. His chuckles subsided when Mom stuck him with carrying all of her purchases.

I really think me being in college is affecting them more than any of us expected. I don't think my parents ever really realized that being so good at what they do would demand so much of their time. I know there are lots of people who think I was neglected. Once, when I was spending a weekend at Buffy's, Joyce asked if either Mom or Dad ever considered changing jobs to spend more time with me. Oh, she wasn't being judgmental; she was just curious. I'm sure my parents thought about it -- I saw how much it hurt them to miss out on the mundane things. But, I would never ask them to give up something like that. They love their work, Tare...so much. Asking them to do something else just so they could greet me at the door after school would be like asking them to stop being themselves. I'm proud of Mom and Dad. Each is top in their respective fields and they are so highly respected. How can I not be proud of them?

So, yeah, that was a really wordy way of saying that my parents wanted to have as much fun as possible with me while they were here. Since their stay covered my first week of classes, one or both of them would walk me to and from classes. Every time I came out of a class and saw my mom waiting, she'd be carrying at least 3 bags worth of M.I.T. memorabilia -- t-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, glasses, teddy bears, pencil holders, paperweights -- you name it, she bought it. She was on a first name basis with the staff at the campus store! It feels good to know how proud they are of me. They are going to try visiting again next month for a “Family Weekend” if they can work out their schedules. I wish you and Buffy could come too -- then my whole family would be here.

I almost forgot to tell you! I've decided to take one class per semester that is purely "just because" -- a class that you and I might take together if we were at the same school. Doc Harry was in complete agreement: "One class that is completely irrelevant to your major is a marvelous idea! Great way to maintain your sanity." Of course, finding out there’s a need to maintain my sanity made me shudder, but it will be easy to do cuz it will feel like you’re here with me in the “just because” class. Even mild insanity is worth it if I can have that feeling for one class.

Hey! We are physically closer to each other now! I moved east and you moved west. So we’re 4 or 5 time zones closer now? Is that right? I’ll have to look it up. I can’t believe I haven’t done that already.

Speaking of time, I need to go. I have an 8am class and it’s late, so I should go to bed. I can’t wait to hear from you and learn about your new school. And you have to tell me about all of your new friends – I need to give my stamp of approval, you know.

Bye, babe. I miss you.

Love,

Will

P.S. Buffy says, “Hi from Sunny San Diego!” She’s enjoying UCSD quite a bit. I think she just likes studying at the beach so she can check out guys at the same time. I have to admit, I’m jealous…of the studying at the beach, not the boy watching.

---

My dear Will,

Well, Christmas break is over and I’m back to school. I did well first term. I only got one B…in maths (oh, look at me with the British spelling). Oh well. It’s not like I’m going to need math once I’m out of school – and I’ve just left myself open to a Willow Rosenberg patented lecture on the 1001 ways I’ll need math in 10 years, haven’t I?

Mom and Daddy came to London for the holiday. Donnie had to stay at school because of his internship – he’s hoping it will turn into a permanent job this summer after he graduates. So, Mom and Daddy split their time between us – two weeks with me and a week with Donnie. Then Donnie is going to come see me for a weekend next month. It’s a good thing my scholarships pay for a single room at the hall – I can easily convert my studio space into a “guest room.” Saves everyone money not having to pay for a hotel. So, there’s plenty of room here for you if you ever have time to visit.

I have to agree with what you said in your last letter…doing Joint Honours is more difficult than it sounds. At least we can both easily combine our majors. Art History and Painting don’t exactly clash. It’s interesting to apply history to my painting. Sometimes I’ll hole up in my studio space and try to apply the various styles we study in the history classes to my own painting. I have so many 16 x 20 canvases covered with various versions of Big Ben. Most of them aren’t very good though. One or two are all right. I suspect I’ll get better as I go. I figure it will serve me well after graduation. I’d like to have a go at restoration and reproduction when school is over. The paychecks from that would allow me to work on my own stuff. And if my stuff doesn’t sell, at least I won’t be a stereotypical “starving artist.” Honestly, I’d be happy with gallery shows. You’ll come to them, right?

I’m glad Buffy’s dating again. It must have been so hard for her after what Josh did to her. I knew you’d help Buffy when you got home for break. You’re a good friend, Willow. Buffy is lucky to have you there for her. I’m sure she’s told you the same thing. Please say hello for me next time you talk to her.

You know, Will, I’m a little jealous of Buffy. She gets to have you near her. She can just pick up the phone to call you and not worry about giving up food money for a week. I’ve often thought about calling you for just two minutes, just to hear your voice. But I know I can’t. I know if I hear your voice, two minutes won’t be enough. I’ll never want to hang up the phone. We’re less than 3 ½ years until our date, Will. We’ve made it this long, right? Time will go by even faster since we’re so busy with college. It has to. I miss you so much. I thought it would get easier with time, but it doesn’t. I miss you more today than I ever have…and I’ll miss you even more tomorrow.

I miss us, Willow…you and me, sitting under our tree…without a care in the world. I think about that so much. I had a dream last week about the day Daddy helped us hang the swing. We had so much fun that day, didn’t we? In my dream, we fell asleep under our tree. Your head was on my lap and I was leaning against the tree, just like we used to be. Except we weren’t kids…it was now. I remember being so comfortable. You were on your side with your back to me and you had your arms wrapped around my leg, just above the knee. I had one hand on your shoulder and the other hand ran through your hair. We just fell asleep like that.

I woke up from the dream smiling and I felt so happy. When I realized it was just a dream, I started to get sad, missing you even more in that moment. I told mom about the dream when she called me that morning to tell me how her doctor’s appointment went (she’s doing well, by the way). She said to me, “Baby-girl, don’t let the good dreams bring you down. Grab on to that feeling you had when you woke up and don’t let it go. Cherish it. Carry it around in your pocket and, every now and then, take it out and look at it. Remember the good things, Tara.” So, I picked you up, put you in my pocket, and carried you with me all day, Willow. It was a good day.

I should go, Sweetie. I came to the library to study, but when I checked my pigeon-hole on the way and saw your letter, studying went right out of my mind. So here it is, 2 hours later, and I haven’t cracked a book. I know you’ll understand – the math exam is in 2 days. Two days and no more math!

Write when you can, Will. Oh! I finally had someone at the computer centre teach me about email and such. I have two addresses: "tara.maclay@slade.ac.uk" and "yourtarababe@yahoo.com." If you want to try the email thing, you can use either address. Though, I have a funny feeling I know which one you’ll use. I can’t guarantee how often I’ll get to check my mail, so don’t get upset if you don’t get a quick reply. And don’t be surprised if you still get regular, old-fashioned letters from me. You know me; I’m a traditionalist at heart.

Take care, Sweetie. Remember I miss you more and more every second of every day.

Always,

Tara

P.S. I’ve sent you a list of common British terms and their meanings…use them wisely.

---

Date: Sat, 08 Sept 2001 13:15:35 +0100
From: ”w rosenberg” willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Hey!

Hi, babe!

I have a few minutes before my study group, so I thought I would send you a quick note to say hi. So, "HI!"

It's so weird, Tare. I'm officially in my second year of college, but I'm considered a 2nd semester Junior. I'm used to people in my classes looking at me cross-eyed because I do well, but now they are looking at me funny because I'm in courses it took them 3 years to get into. I can't tell if it's jealousy or animosity. All I know is they don't seem very happy to see me in class with them. But, I'm not letting it bother me. The professors like me and I like them. I'm here for an education, not to be popular. Besides, since my new roommate and I are getting along so swimmingly, I'm not completely friendless. There are only two friends I care about keeping, anyway. Unfortunately, you're in England and Buffy's in California. But, not for too much longer...less than 3 years, Tara! Whoo and hoo!

So how are things across the pond? I love the drawings you sent me. I designed and made a collage frame for them. I have it hanging right over my desk. That way, whenever I'm studying and I just need a quick break, I look up and see those lovely images. It makes me feel like you're there with me. I'm sure you can guess that I look up from my books quite often.

Okay...I have to run. I've got 10 minutes to dash across campus. Write when you can. Please say hello to your family for me. I'm so glad your mom is well.

Love ya to bits,

Willow

---

Date: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 11:46
From: Tara Maclay yourtarababe@yahoo.com >
To: w rosenberg willowywill@gmail.com >
Subject: Are you okay?!

Will, please tell me you're okay. Where are your parents? Have you talked to them? I tried calling you, but all the lines were busy and I couldn't get through. God, please tell me you are okay, sweetie.

Love,
Tara

---

Date: Tue, 11 Sept 2001 12:34:53 +0100
From: “w rosenberg” willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Are you okay?!

I'm fine, baby. So are my parents – I talked to them this morning. They are in Georgia. My roommate wasn't as fortunate -- her brother was there. As soon as classes were canceled, I ran back to the dorm to be with her. She left about an hour ago to meet her parents and be with her family. We're having a hall meeting, so I have to go. I'll write again very soon, I promise.

Love you, Tare.

W

---

Date: Wednesday, November 15, 2001 18:28
From: Tara Maclay yourtarababe@yahoo.com >
To: w rosenberg willowywill@gmail.com >
Subject: Miss you

Willow,

I'm going to get the hard stuff out of the way...I'm glad you're not flying home for the holidays. I mean, I'm sorry you'll be alone for Thanksgiving (maybe we'll have time to talk on messenger), but I still don't feel comfortable with you flying yet. I know everyone has said it's safe. There's been so much terrorism and mass tragedy on this side of the world; people seem to take it more in stride. So there are fewer qualms about traveling.

I admit this bothered me at first. The patriot in me grew indignant at the seeming lack of concern. But then the human in me won out. People here did grieve for the victims, their families, and our country. They just did it in their own way. It's not that they're desensitized, they've just got a longer history of wars and attacks; they react to these acts of violence in a different way. It's not like they don't care, because a lot of them were very shocked and crying, but one phrase that crops up again and again is 'life must go on'. It's so surreal, Will.

I am glad your mom and dad will be in Boston for Hanukah/Christmas. The trip you all have planned to Maine sounds beautiful. Remember to write everything in your diary. And if you take pictures, put those in your diary, too. Knowing you, they'll be organized chronologically with a story accompanying each image (written in different colors, of course).

The computer centre is about to close, so I need to finish up. It's late, but I'm not tired. I wish the centre wasn't closing so early. I guess I'll go home and paint. My homework is finished and I just can't study anymore. So, I'll put in the CD you made for me and lose myself in my paints. That CD always makes me think of you...and thinking of you gives me inspiration. I'll bet you thought you only helped me with maths, huh?

They're kicking me out, Sweetie. Write soon.

Forever,

Tara

---

Date: Sun, 10 Feb 2002 22:11:05 +0100
From: "B Summers" xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Help?

Hey, Tara!

How are things in Merry Old England? Tired of long walks along the Thames yet? If you ever run into Prince William, give him my phone number, would ya? Oh hell, you can give it to Harry too. (teehee)

I've got a favor to ask, O Best Friend of My Best Friend. Remember that Art History 101 class I told you about? The one my advisor is making me take? Well, you were right -- I love it. (sigh) I hate it when I'm wrong.

Anyway, I was wondering if you would look at my midterm paper for me? I'd normally bug Will, but you're the expert in this area. I really want to do well in this class so the professor will give me permission to take her senior level course. I really need to impress her.

So, will ya? I have the first draft done, and it's not due for three weeks. So there's lots of time. All you have to do is say the word and I can attach it to an email in no time. (bats eye lashes) Please?

Thanks, Tara! Take care. Gotta run.

Buffy

---

Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2002 19:26:11 -0800
From: "Tara Maclay" yourtarababe@yahoo.com >
To: xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com
Subject: You’re such a worrywart

Hi, Buffy.

Here's your paper. It's really quite good. Nice work.

I've typed in some comments and suggestions for you -- I made the font green so you could see it more easily. I also added some sources at the end of the paper. If your library has them, they'll give you a couple of ideas that'll fit in your paper nicely. Don't get me wrong; the paper is really good as it is. Some of the arguments you made are fascinating! I was motivated to look some stuff up in my own texts and to discuss them with my advisor. She agrees with me -- she thinks you'd be a great Art Historian. (*wink*)

Anyway, let me know if you have any questions or need anything else. I'm always happy to help a friend.

And I do consider you a friend, by the way. So, no, you don't need to send me a box of cookies and brownies. Just remember me when you're a famous advertiser and I'm still a lowly starving artist who needs some help getting noticed. We'll call it even.

Take care, Buffy.

Tara

---

Date: Fri, 2 Aug 2002 01:23:11 +0100
From: “w rosenberg” willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Guess What?!

They let me in, Tara! Approved the degree program I designed and everything. Doc Harry told me today. Apparently the selection committee was impressed by the design I submitted. Yay!

So, at the end of this semester, I graduate with my undergraduate degree and in January, I’ll be a graduate student. I’ll complete the master’s degree in one year. By the time of our date, I should be a full-fledged member of the work force. That means…dinner is on me! LOL

Okay, I have to go call the folks to let them know. You’re the first person I’ve told – I ran back to my room and sat down to type this as soon as Doc Harry gave me the news. I think Mom and Dad should be next. Then Buffy.

Love and miss you, Tare. Say hi to the family for me. Write soon.

W

---

Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 10:46
From: "B Summers" xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com >
To: willowywill@gmail.com
Subject: Yes!

We did it, Will! The campaign worked! Everyone got behind it.

Now it’s time for you to work your magic. Go get ‘em!

Luv,
Buff

P.S. We’re having a victory celebration. I’ll have a drink for you.

---

Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 18:52:53 -0800
From: “w rosenberg” willowywill@gmail.com >
To: xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Yes!

You’re the best, Buffy!

My “magic” is going FedEx Overnight as I type. Let’s hope I can pull the rabbit out of the hat.

I love you, Buff. You ROCK!

W

---

Date: Tue, 31 Dec 2002 13:25
From: Tara Maclay
To: w rosenberg willowywill@gmail.com >
Subject: Happy New Year

My sweet Willow.

Tonight marks the last day of 2002. After tonight, we will only have to wait through one more tick of the annual calendar until the year of our date is here. So close, Will. So close. I can hardly wait.

Mom, Dad and Donnie all say hello. It’s nice to be spending the holidays together. This is the first time all four of us have been in the same place at the same time for Christmas since we were in high school. We’re all going to a reception at the Officer’s club this evening, but we are coming back home early. All of us decided we wanted to ring in the New Year having our own, private gathering. So, we’ve pulled out the games, some movies, lots of snacks, and a couple bottles of wine. It’s family night. Wish you were here to spend the time with us.

I’m looking forward to starting my job when I get back to London. I know it’s only part time, so I won’t be making much money. But it’s the Tate, Will! I’ll be able to put my studies to use. I’m very excited. The curator seemed very nice and said if I do well, he will see about expanding my duties. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Well, Donnie just came by to walk me home, so I need to go. We have to get ready for the reception.

HEY PIXIE! KEEPING OUT OF TROUBLE? IF SO, WHY?! GO RAISE A FEW EYEBROWS, KID! LOL -- DONNIE

LOL Yep! That’s my brother!

Happy New Year, Sweetie. I can’t wait to hear from you again.

All my love,

Tare

---

Date: Mon, 13 Jan 2003 21:54:02 -0800
From: "w rosenberg" willowywill@gmail.com >
To: xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com
Subject: Whoo Hoo!

I got it, Buffy!!

---

Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2003 16:46
From: "B Summers" xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com >
To: willowywill@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Whoo Hoo!

Oh HELL Yeah!!

---

Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 14:22:35 +001
From: "w rosenberg" willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Surprise for you

Tara, are you screwing around with my mind? Is this some sort of practical joke? It’s too late for April Fools, you know! My little heart can’t take it.

---

Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 20:06
From: "Tara Maclay" yourtarababe@yahoo.com >
To: willowywill@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Surprise

Oh, Will. I wouldn’t do that to you.

I’m completely serious.

Is it okay?

Love,

T

---

Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2003 08:24:53 -0800
From: "w rosenberg" willowywill@gmail.com >
To: xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com
Subject: OH MY GOD!

BUFFY! OMG, BUFFY!

TARA IS COMING TO SEE ME THIS SUMMER!

I’m hyperventilating, Buffy.

Tara…here…with me…for TWO WEEKS!

She used the money from her job at the Tate Gallery. She’s flying in when neither of us have classes.

Buffy, what am I going to wear?! Help me!

I need to go lay down – I’m dizzy. I’ll call you soon.

Love,

W

---

Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2003 15:13
From: "B Summers" xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com >
To: willowywill@gmail.com
Subject: Re: OH MY GOD!

Willow, that ROCKS!! I’m so happy for you two! I even did a little happy dance after I read your email.

You have…what…3 or 4 months before she’s here? There’s plenty of time. Just take a deep, calming breath. We’ll figure out what you’ll wear.

Yay, Will!

Love you!

Buff

P.S. If you don’t confess-n-kiss when she’s here, I’m gonna kick your ass!

---

Date: Tue, Jun 10, 2003 23:14:23 +001
From: "w rosenberg" willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: I’m sorry

I’m so sorry, baby! Please forgive me. I don’t know why I said all those things, Tare. I was just so upset. But that’s no excuse for the things I said.

Please, Tara – forgive me.

Love,

Will

---

Date: Sun, Jun 22, 2003 22:16:54 +001
From: "w rosenberg" willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Please talk to me

Tara, please. It’s been almost 2 weeks. I’ve sent so many emails and two letters…and I’ve yet to hear from you.

God, I’m sorry, Tare! You must hate me for what I did – you can’t possibly hate me more than I hate myself.

I was selfish and unfeeling. I know that. Honestly. I shouldn’t have said ANYTHING. I should have waited until I calmed down before going off the deep end like that.

Please, baby. Please talk to me.

With all my heart,

Will

---

Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2003 16:11:35 +0100
From: "B Summers" xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: Hi, Friend

Hey, Tara. Willow told me what happened. She's so sorry. She's really beating herself up over everything, Tara. I don't want to get in the middle of things...or take sides...I won't do that, it's between you and Willow.

Look, I’m Will’s friend, and I know it’s none of my business, but you’re so important to her. Will didn't ask me to write to you; I decided to do this on my own…because I consider you a friend, too. I hate to see you two hurting like this.

I know it may not seem like much, considering I’m on another continent and we never met in person, but if you need anything, all you have to do is let me know.

Buffy

---

Date: Sat, 28 Jun 2003 09:02:16 -0800
From: "Tara Maclay" yourtarababe@yahoo.com >
To: xcupidsxfoolx@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Hi, Friend

Thanks, Buffy. I'm glad Willow has you to be there for her. You can tell her that I'm fine. But, right now, I need to work some things out. I don't hate her, but I just need to keep a distance right now.

This has really shaken me to the core, Buffy. And I don’t really know why. I have to figure this out. Willow said some things I never EVER expected her to say…EVER. The hurt is pretty deep. Again, I don’t know why. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. In the big universal sense, it’s a small thing. And that is why I need time to figure stuff out.

Thank you, again, Buffy. The only thing I would ask of you is that you keep me up to date on how Willow is doing…and that you take care of her for me.

Tara

---

Date: Mon, 30 Jun 2003 21:13:35 +001
From: "w rosenberg" willowywill@gmail.com >
To: yourtarababe@yahoo.com
Subject: I understand

I'm sorry, Tara. I know I've said it so many times. And it has probably gotten to the point where it doesn't mean anything to you anymore. But I *am* sorry. Buffy let me know what you said. I understand and will respect your wishes. When you're ready, you'll talk to me again. I won’t stop writing in my diary and I’ll always let you know where I am.

I love you, Tare.

Yours Always,

Willow

---

[FineyMcFine]

DIBS!!!

ETA: OMG. My partner and I just read this together, and we are both VERY INTRIGUED. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really like the presentation of the letters and e-mails and the back and forth of their conversation over the years. I didn't at first get the e-mail from Tara to Willow saying "Are you okay? Please say you're okay. I tried calling...etc." But then I looked at the date on her e-mail, and it made sense. It was very sobering, made me remember that day, and how scared my mom was for me (I was on a plane flying into DC, ugh, I can't even think about it). So I can't imagine having been on another continent across the Atlantic Ocean.

So the burning question is, what was their fight about? What did Willow say that was so awful and shook Tara so much? Aieee! I can't wait to find out, Carleen, I just can't. Please post an update tomorrow, on Friday, August 19, 2005. Thank you.

What a beautiful way to end the update, with the postcard from Tara. Makes me all fluttery.

ETAM (That's Edited To Add More): since it's my favorite pastime right now, I'm going to speculate about what their fight could have been about and why Willow got angry and Tara is shaken:

1. Willow's been doing drugs or drinking heavily, and Tara took her to task for it, and Willow lashed out. (Not very likely - no evidence for this; none of Willow's letters or e-mails have said 'Dude, T-dawg, I got so wasted last night, it rocked.")

2. Tara went out on a date with a girl and smooched her (or a boy and smooched him) and Willow freaked out and accused Tara of leading her on for all these years and being a tease. (Again, no evidence supporting this either.)

3. Tara had to cancel her 2-week trip to come see Willow, perhaps for a reason Willow didn't think was very good, and Willow freaked out and said some unkind things to Tara. (This seems a little more likely.)

4. Willow confessed in advance that she loved Tara and wanted to get her freak on with Tara (I can't believe I just typed 'get her freak on') and Tara reacted with much fear and internalized homophobia, and they had a fight. (Not too likely, in my opinion.)

Soooooooooo. I guess I think that #3 is the most likely, but I'm still not 100% satisfied with it. I'll have to wait for the Auteur to reveal the reason. I'm sure it will be brilliant.

[hermitfish]

Wow, Car...I think the updates are getting better as we go. There were so many emotions ranging through the correspondence yet they all fit beautifully. The excitement of new schooling, the happiness of good fortune, and the desperation of Willow as she tried to apologize over their 'rift'. Just to name a few. I also like the integration of Buffy into the mix and how she began to learn more about Tara (and likewise) from a direct channel.

Also, as an aside, the part about sanity classes...so very true. I know I have an undergrad minor in film studies for that very reason.

Very curious to see what's next.

~Cyd

[Still Waters T]

Hey Car
Like it's been mentioned already: very intruiging fic! It felt like a rollercoaster of emotions in this last update. And what the heck happened when Tara visited?! That last bit really tickled my curiosity...dammit.

From a student's perspective, who has just come back to the uni after the summer holidays, and is in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of the start of university: Very good! You really managed to let the reader feel the newness and excitement of it all.

I'm impressed with this fic. There's the awsome writing you do. There's a quality to it. You get the reader hooked on every word. And it reminds me of how it is when I've gone somewhere, having to leave friends, and just that process and the aftermath of keeping in touch with them. And I'm sure I'm not the only one being reminded of this - so it brings the fic closer to the reader I guess. Donno if this all made sense, but these are my thoughts on this.

Liv

[LesbianJedi87]

holy shit holy shit holy shit......
WOW! AMAZING UPDATE!! EMAILS!! And the postcard thingy! wow wow wow wow....WHAT DID WILLOW DO????
I have no more words except for WOOOOW!

[The Rose24]

Hey! You can't do that! I want to know what the fight is about because I am a little worried.

As always, I love these letters. I wonder if they even realize how in love they are. You can feel it oozing from every word.

Your head was on my lap and I was leaning against the tree, just like we used to be. Except we weren’t kids…it was now. I remember being so comfortable. You were on your side with your back to me and you had your arms wrapped around my leg, just above the knee. I had one hand on your shoulder and the other hand ran through your hair. We just fell asleep like that.

This is a little more than a friendly situation.

[Naeryn]

WHAT THE FRILLY HECK WAS THAT?!

*takes a deep breath*

...No, really! What was that? They're fighting? Why are they fighting? They shouldn't be fighting! Imma go to Boston, and then to England, and bitchslap 'em both until they get the hell over it!

Well, no, I won't, because they're fictional characters, but you get the picture! *flails*

*takes another deep breath*

Okay. That was good... but you can't DO that! That's just... that's just mean! I liked the note from Donny though, "Staying out of trouble? If so, why?", and throwing emails from Buffy in there too. Can't believe it took Tara that long to figure out email, finding that very amusing.
Updaaaaaaate! *starts whoring around the thread*

[GayNow]

watson

[blockquote]I’m glad everything in this chapter worked for you. Of course, if it didn’t, the chapter wouldn’t have been posted. As you are well aware, O’beta-mine, I wanted to be sure of a few things: 1) That Willow’s and Tara’s letters contrasted each other enough; 2) that the letters provided adequate information about their time apart without being tedious; 3) that their letters matched their personalities; and 4) that each showed more maturity through the years.

I also wanted to give a closer look at Tara’s family. As I’ve said in the past, I’ve always thought Tara deserved a good, loving family. So, since it is my story and I make the decisions, she gets a good family.

Their continued influence on each other was also a focus in this chapter. Willow still helps Tara with her math, and Tara still makes sure Willow isn’t overdoing her studies. Tara has, in my mind, always been the more levelheaded of the two. She knows why Willow takes summer classes. So, she takes it upon herself to persuade the spunky redhead to take at least one fun course. Tara knows she can’t convince Willow to refrain from summer classes altogether. She does what she can.

Thanks, watty…you’re my anchor on this story. You help me keep it real.[/blockquote]

TheRose24

[blockquote]They do write sweet letters, don’t they? I’m glad they let me borrow them. Thanks![/blockquote]

onyxsundrops
[blockquote]
Thanks, Evy! I’m so glad you like the pace of the story. There are many who would disagree with you. I appreciate your kind words.[/blockquote]

LesbianJedi87

[blockquote]Rose, you do an ego good! I’m glad my little update brightened your day (and I won’t see Stealth). I hope the following chapter continues to bring you enjoyment.[/blockquote]

HalfCamel
[blockquote]

describing a tree for 1,500 words

Oh my hell! Is that even possible?

The letters did have a bit of sadness in them. But I also hope they had a little…well…hope. They’ve been diligent about keeping in contact. I think I just wanted to show their tenacity. Finding and keeping a best friend takes a lot of work…just as romantic relationships do. I’m hoping to hit some parallels.

Thanks so much for reading, Jackie![/blockquote]

sam

[blockquote]Thanks so much![/blockquote]

Artemis

[blockquote]I made you sniffle and cry again, Chris? Hmmm…I wonder if you’ll need a box of tissues for the next chapter. * shrug * Dunno.

I’m glad you’re enjoying Tara’s family. They are quite fun to write—especially since they come from Tara’s pov. She sees them looking through the eyes of love. Where’s Melissa Manchester when you need her? (And kudos to those who understand that reference – you’re at least as old as I am.)

Yes, I tend to roll around laughing when I picture Mr. Rankin doing either the Funky Chicken or the Running Man.

Thanks, again, Chris. You’re a gem![/blockquote]

Miss Kitty’s Ball O Yarn
[blockquote]

right about now I'm in the "Can't we just skip it? Cant they just be kissing under the tree now?" frame of mind

Ya know, Emms, I’m in that frame of mind, too. But, as you can understand, I have to get some other stuff taken care of first.

Thanks for reading along and for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.[/blockquote]

cebrau

[blockquote]No worries…no such thing as late feedback. I hope your work life is getting better.

Thanks so much for keeping up with my little distraction. I appreciate the kind words[/blockquote].

Leafsdude

[blockquote]Thanks, Fencey! I’m glad you like the letters – especially since more are coming up. I’m an only child, so the Tara/Donnie relationship is what I imagine a brother/sister dynamic might be like. Glad it works for you.

No comments on the condition and/or future of Tara’s mother. [/blockquote]

Auburn

[blockquote]Yay for Gemma feedback! And yay for rainy days!

Woman! It's been about five installments and they haven't met yet?... it's a good job I like stories to take their time or there may be punishment.

Ooohhh…can you elaborate on this punishment? I might have to delay chapter 8 a bit.

Glad you’re enjoying the story, Gemma. You want them to get to the meeting, huh? Well, so do I…it just won’t be in the following update. But it’s coming soon…promise[/blockquote].

SakuraEtsuko

[blockquote]WOOT for Floating Rose! Wait…you’re a Flaming O now! Double WOOT!

Very happy you’re enjoying the story, Karen. I hope the next chapters keep your interest. Thank you![/blockquote]

JustSkipIt

[blockquote]As always, Debra, I greatly appreciate your remarks – so insightful.

I’m really glad the letters work for you. I really tried to focus on utilizing the letters in an effective way. I guess they form the narrative structure of the chapter, without actually providing exposition-y narrative. Does that make sense? I think I confused myself.

You may have jumped on Willow’s parents a bit too quickly, Deb. Read on to Chapter 7 for more. (Also, remember back to Buffy’s remarks RE: The Parents Rosenberg – she said nice stuff.)

Thanks so much, Debra. I hope the next few chapters keep your interest in my little fantasy world. And that just sounds naughty![/blockquote]

Vmarie

[blockquote]Thanks so much, Stalker! I’m glad the letters seem real. My job here is done! Meeting is coming up…but not in this chapter. [/blockquote]

ringwaldoeuvre

[blockquote]As I’ve said before, it’s always okay to be late to the party, just make sure you have fun once you get there.

Yay for Mary enjoying my little diversion! (I should be working on the dissertation, but this is more fun.)

PLEASE don’t channel Sars on me! Chapter 8… promise! We just have to get through chapter 7 first.

Thanks for your comments, Mary. I appreciate them. Oh, and I really miss The Prisoner. [/blockquote]

kindagay

[blockquote]

you told us enough to intrigue us & capture our attention. Very well done

Well, I’ve been learning from the best here on the Kitten board.

Thank you so much, Jeanne. How nice of you to stay with my story – especially since I know you have 2 of your own going. I hope the upcoming chapters keep your interest.[/blockquote]

AntigoneUnbound

[blockquote]Thank you so much, Mary. Those are truly inspirational words coming from a wonderful author.

I have an ear for dialogue? Wow. Thanks! I guess it comes from my background in theatre and performance – I have a knack for mimicry, I suppose.

I also enjoy how you allude to certain things w/o bludgeoning us over the head with them. (And once you've been bludgeoned by your computer, nothing is ever, ever the same.)

I’ve found that I’m not a linear writer. I can’t just start at the beginning, have a happy middle, and then tie it all up in a neat little bow at the end. I have to skip around time, leave holes, fill in those holes later. Maybe it’s the Native American in me…I dunno. And I will try to refrain from any bludgeoning in the future.

And what happened a year ago? Seems like something shifted. And the e-mail didn't work out?

Read on, friend....read on.

Again, thank you so much, Mary. I'm very pleased to have you participate in my thread.[/blockquote]

SallyMcFine
[blockquote]

I call 18th dibs!

'm looking VERY forward to them meeting under the tree and finding out what caused the year-long communications moratorium, but I'm also really enjoying the exposition and the filling in of the blanks of the previous seven years.

Well, you'll learn a little bit in this chapter...but probably not the main reason until later in the story.

and doubly glad that there was no romantic smoochiness on either of their parts with their dates. Especially on Willow's part - since it was never very likely with Tara's date. Ha. Um. (Ew.)

again

I wonder if Willow is aware of her feelings? Is Tara? I get the feeling that neither of them is QUITE there yet, although Tara seems closer to knowing and understanding than Willow does.

Interesting questions and assumptions. More shall be revealed in future updates.

Thanks, Sally! I always enjoy your feedback.[/blockquote]

Naeryn

[blockquote]Thanks so much, Megan. I'm glad you're still keeping up with the story and enjoying it. (I'm keeping up with and enjoying Adrienne too...I promise I'm going to leave feedback.)

Now when the hell are they going to meet under the tree and kiss each other passionately? Oooh, can it start to rain?

The meeting under the tree is coming up soon. Rain? Hmmm....maybe somewhere in the fic we can have a little rain.

Thanks, again, Megan![/blockquote]

Irene73
[blockquote]

I’m so sorry about fb being a little tardy. My computer is still at the Computer Hospital. So until then, I’ll do my best to fb as soon as I possibly can. Miss You guys.

See above replies RE: "coming late to the party." No worries, Fajita. And I feel your pain RE: computer issues...I just had to reformat my hard drive...so I lost so very much. But, I have a computer that thinks it's brand new...so not a total loss. LOL And, believe me, we miss you too, sweetie.

Irene, as always, you've left beautifully insightful feedback. There is so much there that I can't possibly respond to it in exacting detail...cuz...well...I don't want these replies to be longer than an update. But I will say this: Thank you so much for all of your wonderful words. It's clear that you read each update closely and consider everything carefully. And I SO appreciate that. You look at everything with a bent toward thinking critically. What a wonderful thing!

Thank you, Fajita. I hope you like the upcoming chapters (oh, and Chapter 7 has already been posted).[/blockquote]

vix84
[blockquote]

And how sweet is their longing to be big old lesbos and go to the prom together?

Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked the format...I was a little worried about it at first, but it seems to work. I appreciate that your keeping up with my little story. And I'm keeping up with Creation...I promise. Feedback will be coming in the fairly near future.[/blockquote]

YMKA
[blockquote]Wow! Feedback from Marina! *faints*

Thanks, Marina. I appreciate the kind words. And no worries, they'll both be under the tree in chapter 8...not chapter 694 like Sheba. [/blockquote]

meretricious
[blockquote]

seemed very movie like to me, could easily see the girls reading letters in voice over while moving yet restrained music plays and we see images of the years and seasons passing.

Ooohhh...like a cheesy 80s montage? Cool!

also like willow wishing tara could make a trip "home' to her.

You always catch the little details, Mary. I wanted to make sure that Willow and Tara both considered each other "home" in some way. Thanks for being so astute!

i love the little beats you hit there, esp. him fumbling around tara's room before asking her to prom.

Again, you with the noticing of details.

willow's mini ramble about time zones sounds kinda familiar, somehow. maybe someone should tell her to download qlock lovely stuff car, now get your connection fixed asap so we can have more please

I considered having her mention qlock...but I didn't have the chance to research it...so I don't know if it was around back then. But maybe it will show up in future chapters. And the connection is fixed and chapter seven is up there somewhere.

Thanks, again, Mary. You're a peach! (Though, let me say this...I have NO idea if Mary is fuzzy. Just want to set the record straight...I know how kittens can be.)[/blockquote]

singgirl
[blockquote]
Thank you so much for finding your way to my happy little thread. I so appreciate actually having readers for this thing! I'm glad you're caught up and enjoying. I hope the upcoming chapters continue to entertain.[/blockquote]

Kaia
[blockquote]Thanks so much. The next chapter is up there. ^ ^ ^ Give it a look. [/blockquote]

beanie
[blockquote]

I was on a retreat thing in Maine where there are trees and rivers and land but no computers. I was completely sans computer, so I couldn't read your update.

No worries! God, that sounds like a great trip! And read what I've said earlier about "late" feedback. no such thing, really.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story. There is and update...up there. ^ ^ ^ Give it a look. If you liked the letters in chapter 6, you might like chapter 7 too. Thanks so much![/blockquote]

tarawhipped
[blockquote]Cam, my dear friend, I think you've finally cracked. Either that or you've been hanging out with me and watty FAR too much.

Thanks so much for your insightful and VERY humorous feedback, Cambo (ya know...like Rambo?...yeah, anyway). I'm glad that you like the format/structure of the story. I'm not always a very linear person (duh!) so this skipping around in time thing feels good to me. Yes, it delays what kittens want to read about the most, but I've learned from reading some of the best writers on the board...I want kittens to BEG!

The affection between W/T is so vivid, and just leaves me wanting to know more r.e. where do they stand now? Have they professed their undying love, and if so....DAMMIT, WHY HAVEN'T THEY TALKED FOR A YEAR???

Some very good questions, Cameron of the Gay. Very good, indeed. You'll just have to wait and see.

Thanks, again, Cam...I'm glad you're sticking with my frustrating little story. I hope it continues to interest you.[/blockquote]

Naeryn (again)
[blockquote]

*runs in holding a giant flag that says "DIBS" on it and goes to stick it in the ground at the foot of the update*

...hang on... no... update? o.O...

Aaawww, I'm sorry, Megan. Scroll up a bit and you can catch Chapter 7. [/blockquote]

watson (again)
[blockquote]

please join in sending hugs and kisses and all your love to my best friend.

[/blockquote]
grimlock72
[blockquote]Thanks so much for stopping in, Grimmy! I'm glad you're finding the story interesting. I have always hoped that people would at least think about connections with their own experiences...even if they didn't really like the fic. But, I've been pleasantly surprised.

Your observations are very dead on. I appreciate the way you've broken down the bits and pieces of their friendship/relationship/whatever-you-wanna-call-it. The years and distance separating them will certainly bring about differences, but I'm hoping I've given them enough of a foundation that those differences will not be overwhelming...we'll just have to see. As for the "nearly one year of silence"...well, you're just gonna have to keep reading.

Thanks again![/blockquote]

terra21
[blockquote]

Ok Car, if I leave feedback will you update?

Look at that? Ask and within 24-ish hours you shall receive.

I'm so glad you like the letters, T. I was hoping they would go over well with readers.

Btw, are these handwritten or typed?

Cause ya know the handwritten letter is close to extinction.

The actual letters are handwritten. Chapter 7 has some emails, which, obviously, are typed. I agree that the handwritten letter is rare and elusive. But there's such a wonderful kindred spirit about them (and now I'm channeling Anne Shirley). There's a sense of romance and connection that just doesn't happen with email. That's my opinion, anyway.

Thanks so much, terra. I greatly appreciate your comments.
[/blockquote]
hermitfish
[blockquote]

What I enjoyed most from the last update, in particular, is the flow between the letters. It is wonderfully done and paints a lovely portrait through that expanse of time...much better than a conversation or summary would have.

Thanks, Cyd. I was hoping for that effect.

Looking forward to more, but patiently waiting until you feel better. I hope that is very soon, hun.

Thanks! As you can see, there's already an update (you've already replied to THAT chapter ). And I am feeling better. I have full use of my arm and elbow...my elbow just hurts like hell every now and then...but I think that means the medicine is working.

Again, thank you, Cyd. So glad you're enjoying.[/blockquote]

Irene, Emms, Grace, Jeanne, Kaia

[blockquote]Thank you for the well wishes, ladies. I do appreciate it. Doing better...still a ways to go, but better.[/blockquote]

Debra and watty

[blockquote]Hey now! Who said you could hijack my thread? Just kidding, hijack away...as long as you're having fun and no one loses and eye.[/blockquote]

[Naeryn]

Naeryn (again)

*runs in holding a giant flag that says "DIBS" on it and goes to stick it in the ground at the foot of the update*

...hang on... no... update? o.O...

Aaawww, I'm sorry, Megan. Scroll up a bit and you can catch Chapter 7.

Hehe... I'm two steps ahead of you, Car, my lovely

[wimpy0729]

Okay Car, I'm finally here. Did ya miss me?

I still have to catch up on the whole thing, just wanted to say I'm tickled pink to see you finally writing. I told you ya could!! I love what I've read so far.

Great job woman!

Wimpy

[YMKA]

Oh Car....

That was great....I loved especially the postcard at the end...

That what a true friend (and hopefully more) is.

Totally love how you write the letters (and emails), skipping yet giving us the info. I just wonder what had happened....I mean....what Willow had said.

Hope everything is okay with you now! and Thanks!

Can't wait to read more!

M.

[sam]

Hii..glad you're back . Hope you're ok. Wonderful update..but what happened??!!!! Love sam xx

[Willow~Rosenberg]

Oh, nice long update. It's really amazing how you can convey such an amount of time passing and yet it doesn't feel rushed. I also paused on the "Are you okay?!" email, as I had skipped over the date at tfirst. As someone else said, it was a reality check. I had a friend who moved to the UK and it reminded me of a letter I received from her after 9/11.

What did Willow do/say? I look forward to finding out. Oh, also loved the last postcard. Very nifty.

[meretricious]

car, so thru the first few letters i was thinking please, don't let this feeling end, as they seem to be coming closer to putting their feelings in the text, and not just the subtext. really loved tara's dream of them all snuggly under the tree, and how tara's mom helping her keep the dream a positive thing when it would be so easy to give in to the sadness that comes with the missing. also nice to establish buffy and tara, so that buffy writing tara AF (after fight) seems natural. got a little nervous when i saw tara was going to visit, cause we already know she didn't, was very worried about tara's mom. i think it would take a lot to keep her from making that visit, but family crisis would certainly qualify. then buffy's "kiss and confess" ps. got my hopes up, not for long though.
and now, i do believe, that even in a storm we'll find some light. cause the fight, definitely the storm. guessing tara had to cancel the trip and willow reacted badly and without thinking. but then you did bring the light, tara's postcard, sounds like the stress of being separated probably got to both of them and that frustration boiled over into hurting each other. i think tara made the point that the closer the meeting gets, the harder the waiting is, and i think that's absolutely how anticipation works, especially on this scale.
of course, i think you can tell in my fb what you've done to my 70's damaged mind. now i see them running toward each other in slo mo, arms outstretched to meet in a perfect hug under the tree as the music swells and they spin in a joyous circle just as mm hits the line "how it feels to touch you". you know i had to order that song from itunes so i could listen to it 3 times and purge it from my mind, right? the only thing scarier than that, is that lynn-holly johnson has an official website ~mary

(edited cause i used the word "especially" four times, good gravy )

[Kaia]

OMG!!!

I really don't knowif my poor little heart can stand this amount of suspense...seriously, hehe.

The first letters were so warm and gave me this false sense of comfort, 'cause they were going to meet, y'know...but then...

All I wanted to do was click on Tara's email addie link and send her a loooong email with 452356 reasons why she shouldn't be angry at Willow and why she should pay her a surprise visit ('cause unlike mine, Willow's heart is very strong and she could take that surprise...I would die).

Anyway...*shrugs*...I guess we'll have to keep waiting.
Thanks for a wonderful update. I'm really glad you're feeling better.

Kaia.

[terra21]

***Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep***

I'd like to interrupt this thread for a very important message...

Thanks, again, Mary. You're a peach! (Though, let me say this...I have NO idea if Mary is fuzzy. Just want to set the record straight...I know how kittens can be.)

That is the raunciest thing I have seen on Pens in days! LMAO!

***Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep***

Now, back your previously scheduled thread.


(P.S. I'll be back later to give real feedback, prolly right before the next update )

[singgirl]

What? Huh? I actually scrolled back to make sure I hadn't missed something. But, no, twas you being a big meanie and leaving the kittens wondering. Patience is a virtue, I know, but I'm not that nifty of a person, so go ahead, you can tell me. What happened?

[grimlock72]

I frowned when reading the adress on that postcard, Willow isn't in LA at the end of that chapter is she? MIT is in Boston and Willow still needs to graduate right? (even though she's doing so at break-neck speed :-)

MIT must be something like Nirvana for Willow, so much stuff to learn and knowledge to pick up I'm glad to see Willow has a friend to share a room with at MIT, wouldn't want her to be loonely. Come to think of it, is Tara lonely in London when her familly isn't around?

I like how Tara has a fully functional and loving familly. Even though Willow's parents do spend time with her I still can't see them as good parents. I'm old-fashioned that way but I think at least one parent should be around more when raising kids... and baaaack on topic we go...

We need lots more info on the entire two weeks Tara spend with Willow. All we know is Willow very happilly announced it in april and then in june it appearantly had all gone to hell. Surely she mailed Buffy a couple of times for help with clothing ??

If Tara didn't come over Willow again would have mailed Buffy, we need a much better mail-intercepting system . If she DID come over, when did they fight, on the last day or something?

Trobule is, you can't easily fix such problems/fights via email. In my experience face-to-face works much better to solve such situations. Using email only risks being misread and such.

The final postcard does give some hope (despite the adress which is weird or I missed something). They only promised to meet up though, that can be done and over with in about 1 minute and Tara can do go back to England. Oh, did I just give someone an idea ?? Better not

It's fairly obvious they need to talk (as in person-to-person face-to-face talk) about some issues. Now can we pleeeeeeeease know what those issues are already ??

P.S. For some reason I figured Tara would paint pictures of Willow for her study instead of Big Ben. She could try to guess how older Willow would look and bring some for comparision later.

P.P.S. Update on Tara's mother medical status would be nice to, I'm not to sure about it.

Grimmy

[Emms]

Wow Carleen...great update. There was definitly a lot of correspondance in this last update. What I really love about this story, is your ability to make the situations so real. You do such a wonderful job of writing and your creativity really shines through.

I really thought, Tara telling Willow about the dream she'd had was really sweet. But the most romantic part was when Tara was talking about how she had thought about calling Willow just to hear her voice for 2 minutes, but she decided she couldn't do that, because if she allowed herself to call even once, she wouldn't be able to hang up.....that is so true.

I loved loved loved the update sweetie. And I'm glad to know that you are feeling well enough to start writing again..

xoxo
Emms

[eirnlove]

omg! what pissed Tara off so much?!!

btw, we've a goof there there were no @gmail in 2001

[kindagay]

Hey Car

Oh, more letters, & some emails too, very impressive
Oh, so much stuff to make me all intrigued and curious. You're kind of evil, giving us teeny tiny teasy snippets of occurring events but not even hinting at the full picture - yep evil, but, evil's.... good

So, the two things which I am most inttrigued about are:

******************************

We did it, Will! The campaign worked! Everyone got behind it.

Now it’s time for you to work your magic. Go get ‘em!

Luv,
Buff

P.S. We’re having a victory celebration. I’ll have a drink for you.

******************************

You’re the best, Buffy!

My “magic” is going FedEx Overnight as I type. Let’s hope I can pull the rabbit out of the hat.

I love you, Buff. You ROCK!

W

(I ommitted dates & addresses to make the quote shorter)
What was the campaign? What 'magic' did Willow work? Why are you such a tease?

& of course, I'm mega-curious about why Tara was pissed off? What did Willow do / say? Oh, you made my tummy all rumbley, I don't like when our girls fight

Okay, aside from the events that you alluded to but didn't explain, something else made me curious. When I read the first email to Tara from Buffy, I couldn't help wonder, why Buffy was using Tara's 'yourtarababe' email address? That address was, obviously, set up with Willow in mind, & it felt like it should have been a kinda, private, just for Willow & Tara address, so, for Buffy to send an email there just seemed, a little, wrong, to me anyway.

Anyway, moving on from my curiosity, I must agree with my good friend Emms, Tara writing about how calling Willow for 2 minutes wouldn't be enough was just the sweetest, most romantic thing in the world & definitely very true.

& also, from the same letter...

So, I picked you up, put you in my pocket, and carried you with me all day, Willow. It was a good day.

Now don't get me wrong, the whole dream & what Tara's mom told her was extremely sweet, but that line, that was just about the most adorable thing I have ever read

Oh, Buffy does know how Willow feels about Tara...

P.S. If you don’t confess-n-kiss when she’s here, I’m gonna kick your ass!

Which of course, means that Willow is aware of her own feelings for Tara, which is good. However, because of the timing of the argument, I'm guessing that Tara isn't aware of Willow's feelings for her - unless that's what caused the argument, but I'm thinking it's probably not.

I feel like I'm forgetting something, but I can't for the life of me remember what it is, so I guess I'll just stop babbling now.

Thank you for another wonderful update Car, I'm glad you're feeling okay now & I'm glad your comp is behaving itself too

Hugs
Jeanne

[JustSkipIt]

Car,
Thanks for a totally great update. I have to say (and hopefully without sounding condescending) that I’m more and more impressed with not only your writing but your planning of this story. The letters are brilliant in a way that moves the girls forward now from high school to college. I love the way you included letters, e-mails, and even the correspondence with Buffy. I find it strange that we have no mention from Tara of anyone except her family. I would hope that she has found some friends in 4 (3) years at university (how was that for English?).

It seems to me that in this set of letters they have both moved to a more complete understanding of their level (and type) of love for each other. The letters are filled with more references to their physical longing for each other and terms of endearment and love. Buffy’s threat to Willow about “confess and kiss” (I don’t have access to the KB where I’m writing this so that’s a paraphrase) makes it obvious to me that at least Willow gets it 100%. I had to look at the date on the 9/11 note to get it but once I did, that was a stroke of genius. Of course, for our generation, it is like knowing where you were when JFK was shot was for our parents.

One aspect of the letters I really like is your take on Willow’s take on her family. The way she depicts her family she has love and pride for them and for what and who they are. I love the idea of her parents walking her to class and her mother waiting outside with MIT paraphernalia for her. Tara’s family also seems very close with the whole New Year’s party thing and her references to Donnie.

The fight. Of course, the biggie. What in the hell could it be? I made my guesses last night and I know that you just won’t confirm because they are all correct. It seems to me that it has to be something really terrible because Tara says that she is shaken to the CORE. So it can’t be “why did you cancel the trip?” or something stupid. I certainly don’t think that it’s Willow coming out to Tara because how could Tara be mad about that? It’s beyond me.

As a writer, there are two aspects I find particularly intriguing and impressive. The first is the stack of letters Tara is bringing. At the time of that scene, I very clearly believed they were her greatest possession: Willow’s letters. I even provided some writing feedback regarding the transition from Tara driving to the text of the first letter. While I still would prefer some transition, something else occurred to me last night. Perhaps they are not Tara’s letters from Willow? Perhaps they are Tara’s letters to Willow, the letters that she has continued to write over the last year but never mailed. Perhaps they not only explain the source and emotional progress of Tara’s hurt and anger but also the everyday sharing of their life events that has been so important to both of them for this time. If so, (and I certainly don’t rate my chances of being correct above 40%), I find it a very romantic gesture.

Now, what I’m very very impressed by is your planning the story: the fight. Here’s the thing. From a writer’s perspective I don’t think it matters what the fight is about. It’s a fantastic plot device. It creates tension and suspense. More importantly, it gives the girls something to do once they meet. Without the fight, we would have a bunch of updates of them moving toward their date with letters and flashbacks and all that gooey lovey stuff. But when they got to the date, what would there be for them to do? Hug, kiss, shag and live happily ever after. No balance of timing for the story. It would be over when they have the date with the exception of the naughty bits.

But now…

You’ve planned it so that there will be tension and relief and anger and sadness when they meet. They can’t just hug and kiss and shag because they have to work out the issue behind the fight. They have to finally sort it out, to both have their say and their sorries. It also means that they have missed out on the updates from each other’s lives for the last year. So they have a chance to catch up, to get to know this woman they’ve loved for so long. It gives much greater balance because it won’t all be over when they meet. They still have so many things to resolve.

Ok, now that your elbow and computer are on the mend, I expect frequent and long updates. I’d say every 3-4 days would be fine with me but more often would be nice too.

[Tarababy77]

AMAZING!!! Truely, simply, and definitely, amazing... I have found that having the ability to speed read, SUCKS!!! I didn't want to read your updates as fast as I did, but I so enjoyed them. Two months to go and I can't wait to see what happens. You so had me with what Willow did and how come Tara needed to space she needed. It must have been heartfelt for things to happen like they did. Anyhoo, I'm hooked and waiting for you to bless us with another update. Great work! Take care and smiles. =)