Dimension Dementia (Updated 3/14/07)

[Barlimo]

I love it, I just love it! You're story is amazing and beautifully written
Every thought is so...so...them! Like you're inside their heads (I wish I had half your talent!)
Kinda makes my heart hurt - poor Willow, poor Tara, poor me waitin for an update!
Willow seeing the picture was just You captured her emotions perfectly-your fic is just one big emotional rollercoaster I never wanna get off! And Tara's crying was just
Can't wait for more
Please update soon
xx

[simplyblue]

Knock Yourself Out is right: this story is mesmerizing. And this, to my mind, may be the best update to date. You bring us so far emotionally within a very simple plot arc (and I'd never thought I'd use the words "simple plot arc" in reference to this story!) Willow gets up. Looks at some pictures. Takes a shower and decides what to wear. Has breakfast with Buffy and Tara. Hardly anything is "going on" here, but the emotional turmoil both Willow and Tara are enduring is so very gripping and affecting. The way you've written this reminds me a little of Sassette's vignettes and EasierSaid's Neverland: complex emotions grounding simple moments. Bravo.

And on another note: this Anya rocks!

--Blue

[JustSkipIt]

I can never remember the stages of grief stuff but I wonder if thinking it’s a dream or that maybe you’re in a coma is part of it. Hmmm… denial?? I guess it could be part of Willow’s progression.

She sorted through the stack of shirts Tara had given her, finally choosing the most muted of the selection, which wasn't saying much - all of the shirts seemed to be brightly colored or to have some sort of strange design on them. The shirt she chose was multicolored and a little tighter and busier than she would usually wear, but it was the least wild of everything in the pile.

LOL! Poor AU Willow forced to wear Willow’s atrocious clothes. Hopefully not that muppet shirt or jacket or whatever it was in the middle of S6. Arggghhh!



I really love Willow’s observation of the world around her and the people in it. It’s as if she is waking up compared to the beginning of this fic. And here is Angel, who we discussed back at the beginning. Tee hee. The care she is taking in looking at the photo of her and Tara is quite beautiful. Amazingly sensitive.

She had just gotten to the quiz - "How Kinky Are You?" - when she heard the shower upstairs. Apparently someone else was awake.

I’m guessing that her score was going to be pretty low…



Again, I really like the fact that Willow is starting to notice things about Tara and to attempt to be kind to her. Not that I like it in a “she’s into herâ€

[watty]

My overwhelming reaction after reading this (as usual stellar) update is I'm sensing that there's a small voice in Willow's mind that's suggesting that it may not be a bad thing if she stayed in this dimension. She's very sensitive to her surroundings, like her senses jump at everything -- and she's seeing things that Other!Willow, who I'm beginning to picture as the self-centered overconfident (dare I say arrogant?) Willow of S5/6, would not have noticed. I wonder if Tara notices that New!Willow notices, and if she does, will she be guilty for comparing the two.

I have some thoughts about what may happen next. Giles' acknowledgement that he doesn't know which dimension Other!Willow has gone to is worrying, if only that it makes getting the various Willows back to where they belong so much harder. I mean, several Willows may be displaced, right? It'll take a lot of organization and musical chairs to get things back to normal, yes? Um, I won't speculate any further today, I'm not trying to be a smartass just thinking out loud.
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[grimlock72]

Anya showing tact... now I've seen everything

I liked Willow thinking about being in a coma a sort of known solution. At least that would be a 'normal' situation, much better than vampires and other strange things.

How did anyone manage to take a picture of (Dr.) Angel anyway, I thought vampire didn't reflect onto film? Or is that the soul weirdness thingie acting up ?

The scoobies and Willow are still in "we'll get Willow switched back quickly and all this will be fixed" mode. I wonder what will happen when this situation lasts somewhat longer. Willow will want to know what the other Willow is like, she'll be surprised at the number of differences I think. They sound rather different (clothes;-). Hearing about otherWillow and Oz might sound familiar and hopefull though...

grimmy

[ruggerchica]

I am incredibly enjoying this story. I especially enjoy the story line (which I find to be really clever), with its unique and well thought up plot, and am very impressed by your writing style; I am “there” in the story every step of the way. This story caught my attention so much, back when you started posting it in June, that I recently felt the need to get back to reading it, and I’m so very glad I did. Excelled work, more please!

[FineyMcFine]

db

Hi db! Yeah, it was a pretty big moment for Willow to see proof positive that her counterpart is not only this abstract thing called "lesbian" but that there is a relationship with a real person with love and affection and everything like that. I'm guessing she hasn't known a lot of gay people in her life since she's sort of isolated herself more or less so this is a whole new understanding for her.

And yeah, this Willow notices a lot - maybe even more than canon Willow sometimes, since she's more inside of herself and not so much a part of the group, if you know what I mean. But they're also very similar in how they not only notice things but also analyze them. And yes, I think it's imperative that we see Tara through Willow's eyes - and it's important that Willow notices her too. You're perceptive to say that Willow needs to see Tara's sadness - that's in the plans for a future chapter (not so much Chapter 9, which is coming right up, but another one).

Hee hee - trust Anya to try to display sensitivity even if she doesn't actually FEEL it. Heh. Thanks so much for your continued interest and for reading!

[hr]

Knock yourself out

Kyo - thank you, that is so nice to hear! "mesmerising" in relation to my story is such a nice compliment. Yeah, I always find that being aware of one's breathing usually means it is increasing in rate, consequently so is the heart rate. What does that mean? And yeah, Anya had to crow to provide an emotional antidote to all the gloominess from before, I thought. Thank you so much!

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highlandlass25

Thanks! Yep, updates soon - every two weeks for as long as I can keep that up! Yeah, my heart breaks for Tara too. Hopefully good things will start to happen.

[hr]

bluebird

Yeah, I think that denial is a key thing we'd all probably do in such a situation. And you'd think if you were in a dream world it would be fun. Who hasn't wished for a situation to try things out with no consequences, like the Holodeck or something like that? And Tara wearing Willow's shirt - ay yi yi.

I think Willow's definitely on to something with the more alike than different. Heh. Thank you!

[hr]

Lonewolf22

Hey Lonewolf - thanks! Yeah, this Willow is VERY much about restraint - although I imagine she's pretty curious about her counterpart. Me, I'd be peppering everyone with questions left and right. More is coming up soon, thanks for reading!

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spells42

Anne, don't worry about when you leave feedback - I totally understand about RL. I've been absent from the KB and even friends lately due to RL so I totally get it.

Yeah, it was important to me to tell this story from almost exclusively Willow's perspective. There had to be scenes without her, but I wanted to only be in her head and not anyone else's. So the gang that we all know so well is pretty much being revealed through Willow's lens.

Yeah, Anya definitely wants validation from others. We'll see some more of that soon - even though she's one of the cast in this story and not a main character as such, I can't resist having Anya around. Thanks for reading!

[hr]

viximon

Really really missing! Yeppers. We will find out where she went eventually at the end. There's a lot to happen, you're right, especially as it relates to Willow herself and any thoughts she has about Tara. Hope that's not too abstract. Thanks!

[hr]

Grayson

Hi Grayson! I'm glad you liked the picture part of the chapter. I spend a lot of time snuggling on the couch with Mrs. McFine so when I was thinking of what to show in the picture, that came to mind.

Yeah, part of what's neat about writing this story is the chance to highlight similarities and differences. I'm pretty sure Spike will show up at some point soon.

I know I love a woman who washes dishes and knows when I've been crying.

Does this dreamboat woman have a name? She sounds ideal!

Thank you so much for your kind words about Anya - she is one of my favorite characters to write. Thanks Grayson!

[hr]

SithLordWiccan

Thanks Sith! Yeah, I think that Willow's wishful thinking that this is part of a coma is something that all normal people would probably go through in the same situation. Of course, we have to ask ourselves - is she in a coma, or not? After all, vampires aren't real...are they? And yes, I definitely plan to reveal everything.

Yeah, I think that most often in TV and books and movies when someone is keeping a secret it usually ends up badly. I think that part of Giles' decision to keep alarming possibilities from this Willow is - he doesn't want to panic her unnecessarily since he doesn't know for sure. And showing his extreme concern not just about a switch but the extent of the switch might be really alarming for her, especially since he's the authority figure here.

Thanks for reading!

[hr]

taralicious

Blayne,

That pesky old human mind is nothing if not tenacious. I totally hear you about the same bloody grinding job thing. I guess it's my fault for taking a job in a mill. (Ha! *rimshot*)

Yeah, I think Willow is desperate to make sense of the situation as her panic recedes. And she's for sure a little taken aback by her counterpart's sense of, er, style. The photo device was something I thought would help to sum it all up nicely in terms of differences.

Who can say if Willow will choose the path of no timber? I guess it depends on whether she decides to go into the logging industry. *second rimshot* Anyway, thanks as always for your extensive and insightful feed back Blayne.

[hr]

DaddyCatALSO

Yeah, if Oz had been in that photo I'll bet Willow would have had MANY MORE QUESTIONS INDEED. But they'll get to that, too. Just wasn't quite ready for that convo yet.

And yeah, I agree with Anya and Giles too - no sense in TOTALLY freaking out AU Willow, right? After all, she might panic and run away and then their only link to the other universe would be gone. If the unthinkable has happened, well, then, as you say, there will be infinite time to deal with that later.

[hr]

Barlimo

Barlimo, you're so nice with your feedback! Thank you so so much. I hope it's not too much of an emotional rollercoaster, but I suppose it's unavoidable. I appreciate your kind words and thank you very much for reading. And the updates will be every two weeks for as long as I can keep up that pace.

[hr]

simplyblue

Blue, thanks! I'm so gratified by the use of the word mesmerizing - it's a big compliment. And for you to say this story or update reminds you of Sassette's vignettes and EasierSaid's Neverland, well, that's a very high compliment indeed - those two writers are among the very best.

I do want there to be progress in each update - don't want there to be "filler" - so thanks for saying there was much emotional progress in a simple plot arc (which I agree with - it's all normal stuff and about 3 hours). And heh - I do love Anya. What great material she provides us all with. Thanks Blue!

[hr]

JustSkipIt

Debra, you're as usual astute. When I was thinking "What would Willow be thinking or feeling right now" in writing this chapter I thought "Surely she will have some flight of fantasy moments wishing it's not real and everything, that's what would happen to me anyway" and so I wrote that in, and you're smart enough to interpret that as one of the stages of grief. Without looking it up I think it's denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance, or something like that? But yeah - I think it's something Willow was likely to go through.

Hopefully not that muppet shirt or jacket or whatever it was in the middle of S6. Arggghhh!

Yes, no Elmo pelt - I think that Tara probably wouldn't have given AU Willow such a dramatic outfit, and that AU Willow wouldn't wear it even if she had.

It's as if she is waking up compared to the beginning of this fic.

You're such a good reader! Her life before was a little drab and lacking in detail, and I tried to make the beginning chapters reflect that.

Again, I really like the fact that Willow is starting to notice things about Tara and to attempt to be kind to her.

From my interpretation of canon at this point, AU Willow is more considerate and thoughtful than canon Willow was at this point - not in a malicious way, but in an overworked, overstressed way - and taking people for granted too.

they might not be all that freaked about you dying and coming back from the dead but that's just me.

My thoughts about that are twofold - I think coming back from the dead is more dramatic than dimensional travel in a lot of ways because it gets into resurrection and high-powered magic and, well, death, which is a big deal for this Willow. But I think the main reason Buffy is evasive is at this point in canon she realized she had been to heaven but hadn't told anyone - they were all assuming she had been in a hell dimension, and she didn't disabuse them of that notion until OMWF.

I don't know about you but it always seemed like he was pretty darned happy when he didn't have a soul.

Heh - happy, manic, evil - all different sides of a similar, multi-sided coin.

Thanks Deb - your analysis is always a dream to read.

[hr]

watty

watty, you're so perceptive about everything but especially the small voice in the back of Willow's head. I think that she's less panicked for sure and that the experience is jolting her out of her safe existence. This is a girl who needs to take some risks and hasn't taken very many risks lately.

Yeah, Giles' acknowledgement of uncertainty is worrying. I think he's saying not that their Willow is definitely somewhere random, but just that it's a possibility. You know those analytical types, they like to consider a problem from every angle in the interests of being thorough.

Very very good question about will Tara notice differences between her Willow and this one. I've been trying to portray the Scoobys' attitudes about canon Willow as their thinking she's a little take-for-granted and a little cocky or reckless with the magic because I think the canon had her behaving this way in their attempt to make what happened in S6 with the breakup and mind-erasing and stuff more believable. That was a really awkward sentence but you know what I mean. I love me some Willow and I don't think she ever had malicious intentions but according to canon she lost her way somewhere along the line. Anyway...thanks wattypants!

[hr]

grimlock72

Anya showing tact... now I've seen everything

Ha ha! Does it count if she was trying to show tact as an experiment in human behavior, rather than altruistic motivations?

I'm glad you liked Willow thinking about being in a coma - I thought it was a natural thought for someone in her situation to have. Escapist thinking or something like that.

I originally thought that vampires didn't show up on film, but my beta reminded me that it's apparently just that they don't show up in mirrors, because in S7 when Andrew was filming Spike showed up on his camera and they had a little back and forth about how vampires can show up on film. But if anyone proves me wrong, then, uh, yeah - the soul, that's it!

Yeah, what will everyone's reactions be if the situation lasts longer? That's the key question everyone might eventually ask themselves. I think that this Willow is both different from her canon counterpart but maybe more similar than she thinks...

Thanks grimmy!

[hr]

ruggerchica
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. This is my first multi-part story that is set in the canon world and I'm having a good time writing it. Thank you so much for letting me know you're still reading and enjoying it - it means the world to me.

[FineyMcFine]

[center][/center]
Title: Dimension Dementia
Part: 9
Author: SallyMcFine
Feedback: I love feedback. Bring it on!
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All disclaimers apply
Thanks: To my beta, Mrs. McFine, for her editing and storyline skills that are out of this world.
Setting: AU/canon crossover
Summary: What happens when a shy, introverted girl is torn away from her world and deposited into a dimension full of vampires, demons, and...a girlfriend?
[hr]

Part 9 - Boredom

For a world inhabited by vampires and demons, Willow was surprised how uneventful her time in this alternate version of Sunnydale had been. She hadn't seen any undead, nor any major magical spells, and she was actually kind of...bored. Most of her time in the last day and a half, when she wasn't asleep or in Giles' apartment, had been spent in near-silence with the others doing research.

Well, they were doing research, anyway. Giles tried to give Willow different books to look over with vague instructions to look for information about dimensional travel. She suspected that he was just trying to keep her busy and out of the way while the others read the important books. Giles had spent about thirty minutes with her one-on-one during the morning, asking her about her head injury, but she was only able to tell him the basics of what had happened. He seemed intrigued about her vision problems, and muttered something about attenuation while he jotted down notes. Soon enough, though, they were finished and it was back to the books.

Willow stifled a yawn as she tried to focus on the book in front of her. The back room of the Magic Box where they were encamped didn't have many windows, and the dim glow cast by the yellowed light bulbs was more soothing than stimulating. Not to mention that the subject matter was so far beyond the realm of her experience that she was having trouble staying on task - and she usually loved to read. Every now and then she would sneak a glance at Tara, finding herself more and more fascinated by the blonde - but also feeling strangely guilty.

Tara's demeanor today was much changed from yesterday. She was still quiet, but seemed much more withdrawn. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, though the puffiness had decreased somewhat. At one point during the day's research session, she had excused herself and had remained absent for several minutes. She was composed when she returned, but it was painfully obvious to Willow that she was leaving the room to cry. And she couldn't help feeling responsible, even though she knew rationally that what had happened was not her fault.

Another yawn took her by surprise, and she scrubbed at her eyes. She noticed Xander close his book and stand up and stretch, then walk over to where she was sitting.

"Feel like joining me on a coffee run?" he asked, flashing her a grin. "I think everyone here could use some caffeine."

"Sure," she said, trying not to sound too eager. She felt eager, though - as eager to leave the quiet room as she was to spend time with Xander.

"Okay, people, place your orders for the Harris Espresso Pump Delivery Service," Xander said. He jotted down the orders for Giles' tea, Dawn's latte, Buffy's cappucino, and Tara's decaf mocha.

"Let's go out through the front," he said. Willow followed him through the door and out into the store proper, where Anya sat behind the counter. The store was open for business, and Anya had explained to Willow that she always 'personed' the cash register when she could.

The ex-demon was reading one of Giles' many dusty books about demons, dimensions, and the relationships between the two. She looked up as Xander and Willow emerged.

"We're going on a coffee run," Xander said. "Want anything?"

"A cranberry-orange muffin." She caught his eyes and gave him a warm look.

Xander broke eye contact and nodded, then opened the front door, allowing Willow to pass through first. A tiny bell at the top jingled as the door swung closed.

"How long have you and Anya been a couple?" Willow asked Xander as they crossed the road.

"Since right before the end of high school," Xander replied. "I guess that makes it about...two and a half years."

Willow nodded. "Are you pretty serious?"

Xander let out a little half-laugh. "I guess so."

Willow stole a sidelong glance at Xander. He sounded ambivalent, as if admitting he and Anya were serious was something that embarrassed him. She didn't press, but said "Well, she seems nice."

"I'm not sure if anyone has ever had that reaction to An before."

"Because she's so blunt?" she asked as they stopped at an intersection, waiting for the "walk" signal.

He nodded. "A lot of people find her kind of honesty hard to deal with. But it's not her fault, I think she's still adjusting to being human after being immortal for so long. A lot of the things we do for politeness' sake she get impatient with." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Willow shrugged. "It's kind of refreshing. Everyone has been really nice to me, but I get the sense there's a lot you all aren't telling me. Anya's straightforward, at least."

Xander grinned. "Well, that's one thing she definitely is."

The walk signal blinked on, and they crossed.

"It's just up here on the right," Xander said. "Do you have an Espresso Pump in your Sunnydale?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah, but I haven't been there much. I'm not much one for the coffee," she said.

"Our Willow lives on the stuff," Xander said as they entered.

Talking to Xander felt natural, just as it always had. She appreciated how comfortably he treated the subject of the missing Willow. Though Buffy had made her feel welcome, the tears and undercurrent of tension had been a constant backdrop at the Summers house. But Xander talked about the other Willow like he was confident they would get her back, and seemed to harbor none of the unspoken fear that the others did - that she was gone for good.

She looked around as Xander placed their orders - everyone else’s coffee or tea and a hot chocolate for her. It was definitely like the coffee shop in her world, from her recollections of the few times she had visited the place. As she glanced at the people who sat at the tables scattered around the room, a college-aged boy with dark hair caught her eye. He looked familiar, but she couldn't place him. She continued to study him, trying to remember how she knew him, but it seemed he was leaving. It kept nagging at her as she watched him gathering up his things until Xander interrupted her reverie.

"How does it measure up?" Xander asked as they waited for their drinks.

"It's almost identical to my Sunnydale," she said, turning back to him. "I mean, other than the people, this place seems almost exactly like my world. It's weird."

"Why is that weird?"

Willow thought how she should phrase it. "Well, with all the talk earlier about vampires and demons, I kind of thought there would be more, I don't know, chaos. But everything seems pretty normal."

He laughed. "Things are pretty normal during the daytime, I guess," he said. "If you don't look below the surface. But at night is when all the beasties really come out to play. Last night on patrol with Buffy she dusted five vamps. I got one of them," he said with a touch of pride.

"I guess it's just - you all seem to spend a lot of time reading books during the day," she said neutrally, trying not to sound like she was saying 'I'm bored out of my skull.'

"Yeah, that's thanks to Willow, sort of," he said, leaning against the counter. "In high school Giles was Buffy's Watcher, and he was the one who mostly did all the research. And usually it was just Slayer and Watcher, no one else in the mix. But Buff - well, she's pretty stubborn, and didn't want to give up having friends. So Willow decided that we could help with research - and since Sunnydale is on a hellmouth, there was always weird stuff to try to figure out."

"Harris!" the barista behind the counter called. Xander picked up a cardboard tray of drinks, and Willow took the bag containing Anya's muffin.

"Anyway," he continued, leaning against the door to open it, "There was all kinds of other stuff Willow could help out with too that Giles didn't have a handle on - blueprints, private records, anything you can access with a computer. So he got used to it after a while." They walked down the street slowly, Xander balancing the drinks.

"She's good with computers, then? I saw a laptop in her room."

"Yeah," he said. "A real bona fide hacker. Not you?"

She shook her head. "Just basic word processing and e-mail."

"I never could understand the fascination, myself," he said. "But yeah, anyway - weird things happen here, but there's just as much boring down time and research as with anything, I guess. Anya and I watch CSI sometimes and I don't think police work is always so action-packed. They just skip over the boring parts."

Willow nodded. It made sense - if it was all demons, all the time there would be precious little time for the semblance of normal life that appeared to be going on in Sunnydale. Not to mention the population would be greatly reduced.

"I have a question," Xander said a little awkwardly. "Were you friends with Jesse, in your world?"

Willow nodded. "Yes, for a bit," she said. "In junior high. We kind of...drifted apart after Xander died," she said. It was a little easier to say, to her surprise, than it had been before. "But he's a student at UC Sunnydale now. I see him around campus sometimes."

He nodded, and didn't say anything else.

"How come?" she asked, curious. "Is he one of the gang here?"

He shook his head. "He got bitten during our sophomore year in high school."

"Oh," Willow said. Xander's face clearly showed the pain he was feeling.

"He was trying to kill me and Willow one night, and...I had to stake him."

Willow inhaled with surprise. "Oh." She put her hand briefly on his back. "I'm so sorry."

She felt shaken. The Jesse she had known was a bit of a smart aleck, always seeming to bubble with energy and mischief when he joined her and Xander in their games. He had always been more Xander's friend than hers, and it had been easy to drift away from him during the terrible summer after Xander's death. But knowing that Jesse was irrevocably dead shook her, and she shivered. She surmised that it probably haunted Xander even now. Killing your best friend wasn't something that was easy to get over

It suddenly made everything she had been told about Sunnydale - the vampires, demons, the death, - that much more real. And sinister.

They walked for a bit in silence, and as the Magic Box came into view, Willow decided to ask another question - after they had covered such a grave topic, her question seemed somehow less intrusive now.

"Xander," she began. He glanced at her with a friendly look. "Can I ask...you sounded sort of hesitant when you told me about you and Anya before. How come?"

He exhaled. "Uh..."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she rushed to add.

"No, it's not that," he said. "It's..." He took a deep breath and seemed to steel himself. "We're engaged, actually. I proposed a few months ago. It was a pretty intense time - we thought the world was going to end. And everything seemed so much clearer then than it does now. I just knew that Anya was the one for me. I mean, she really loves me for who I am." He made an expression of disbelief.

"But now - I don't know. We haven't even told anyone about it yet, and she's so insecure," he said. "When she asked for a muffin just now - she wants our wedding cake to be cranberry-orange. I think she was trying to, I don't know, make sure I haven't forgotten."

She looked at him, sensing that he wasn't finished talking.

"It's just that...are we too young? Is it the right decision?" He stopped on the sidewalk a block away from the Magic Box. "Honestly," he said, "I think I'm a little scared. But I don't really feel like I can talk to Anya about it - I think she'd freak out."

"Do you talk to anyone about it?" Willow asked.

He shook his head. "We're usually dealing with some crisis, or recovering from some crisis, or everyone's wrapped up in their own drama. Not that I'm complaining," he said. "Will and I, we're older now and have different lives than we used to. And Buffy hasn't felt much like talking to anyone lately," he said with a rueful laugh.

"Your parents?"

"They're probably the last people I'd go to for advice about marriage," he said. "They hate each other. They're an example of what not to do."

She nodded. "My Xander used to talk about moving out of the house when he turned eighteen," she said. "He wanted to have a cool apartment and a job and a job and a 'hot girlfriend,'" she said. "But mainly he just wanted to get out of the house. It sounds like it was rough here for you, too."

He nodded, and a nostalgic look came over him. "I remember. I used to talk about that with my Willow too." He laughed a little. "It took a little longer than I wanted, but I eventually moved out. And now I do have a cool apartment. And a great girlfriend. I don't know why I keep feeling scared. Like maybe it's all going to be taken away."

Willow looked at him. If her Xander had lived, would he be like this Xander - fulfilling his dreams, but too plagued by self-doubt to realize it? Probably, she thought sadly. It was hard to escape your upbringing. Change was hard.

"Well, we'd better get back," Xander said, starting to walk again. "Thanks for the talk."

"You too."

They re-entered the Magic Box, and Willow carried the drinks into the back room while Xander stopped to talk to Anya.

"Heard from D'Hoffryn?" Xander asked, handing Anya the muffin.

She shook her head and sighed, stretching behind the counter. "Even during the best of times he hates running errands and answering questions, and I'm not exactly his favorite person right now. I'll be lucky to get any response from him at all."

He leaned across the counter and kissed her. "You're a good person for trying."

She looked surprised but pleased. "Thank you, Xander."

He smiled at her, tore off a piece of the muffin, and fed it to her. She blinked in surprise.

"Better hit the books," he said. She watched him as he walked toward the back room, two spots of color evident in her cheeks.

Willow looked up as Xander re-entered the room, and she took a sip of her hot chocolate. He was smiling to himself, and looked over at her as he took his seat. She smiled back at him, and then settled back into her chair with a sigh, resigning herself to finishing out the boring afternoon in the dim, silent room.

[db]

dibs!

Sally Pants!

Again with the loving it!

So, lets start with bored Willow (nice referance btw, I much prefer *this* version of bored!). Willow and Xander's little excursion and talk was so heartwarming and good to read. I *love* that you gave her a chance for 1:1 time with Xander!! Xander was able to open up and talk to AD Willow, how sweet was that? I also loved that AD Willow was open to liking Anya in a way that our Willow is not. I wonder how much that has to do with past sexual tension and protectiveness? I mean, AD Willow couldn't have seen his dating history? Anyway, I like Anya's bluntness, and was glad that AD Willow likes it too -- and I was *especially* delighted that the talk seemed to really help Xander. It was sweet. Thanks.

...and the Jesse discussion. I think the truth about this reality is starting to become more, I guess your word "sinister" captures it.

So. AD Willow is observing Tara -- more specifically, that she has been crying. It seems like her feelings about that are a little torn - guilty for watching and feeling like she is to blame in some way for her sadness, but also there seems to be a curiousness there. I mean, who wouldn't be fascinated with Tara? So, no surpise that there is at least a little innate curiosity there... I just am surprised that AD Willow hasn't, I dunno, tried to help? Been preoccupied with it? I guess I just have questions? She seems to care or at least be interested in Tara and her sorrow... I only see that growing.

Plus, it seems like some sort of crisis is building. I don't know what it is, but I am all tense and on edge... My little mind is asking what are you building up to Sally Pants? Whatever can it be?

Looking forward to reading more!

db

[Thianne]

why is db always dibsing?!? shucks! ok, going to read the update!

ETA: ok Sally, i absolutely loved this update - but i loved it even bfore reading it for its update-y nature

more specifically, i loved the talk between Willow and Xander. cause in the show they did kinda drift apart...and it's nice to see them closer in a story...even if Willow's not really Willow, but we're hoping that they can't get back the other one....or maybe that she can go and find her Tara in her own dimension? the easy solution would be to destroy the vamp-less dimension...with Buffy and their Willow, so this Willow and the others wound't have any concerns.

or maybe allow a threesome between the two Willows and Tara.....but Giles isn't that stupid to allow 2 identical people to co-exist in the same dimension.

so....i don't know

anyway! i felt for Tara when she had to go out of the room to cry....she and Buffy are the ones who took it worst, i think. except Buffy shows her.....restlessness, and nervousness, while Tara just becomes more introspective and sad....just how we would expect from them, right? i love how you captured their nature.

the thing about the wedding....well, i hope you're gonna fix that. that's one of the crappy events in the hellish season that i hated most. i actually cried when they showed Anya's crying and disheveled face, before- na wait, after? the talk with D'Hoffryn. it was...heartwrenching. and frankly, nor she or Xander deserved that much badness. but...yeah, don't get me started about the season

anyway, i hope you fix it...maybe, with the new Willow's new point of view, Xander will be able to make the big step....and really marry Anya. with a cranberry-orange (is it any good? *scrunches nose*) cake and all of that.

Last thing: now, from how you're writing it, it looks like you will hook them (Willow and Tara) up, and then finish the story shortly after that. now.....please, don't. continue a little bit, or, i don't know. i just can't survive a huge teasing story if all we get in the end is a first kiss, or the knowledge that they'll be together forever. this is nice, and all....but not enough

now that i've expressed my concerns, it's time for me to go to bed again....cause it's VERY late

thanks for another wonderful update!

[Foomatic]

Hey Sally,

I love how creatively you're meshing Willow A and Willow B's worlds, and throwing in a bit of canon as well. Brilliant. The conversation between Willow and Xander, in it's simplicity, really enhances your story as a way for Willow to slowly connect with the Scoobies of this dimension. Who better to start with than Xander? She seemed to feel a little bit more at home? while talking to him, than she has in the previous updates.

OOhhh, and mystery man in cafe? I have my guesses . . .

Once again, wonderful update, looking forward to more!

[Lonewolf22]

SallyMcFine: Great update, I really loved the way that Xander and the other Willow are able to just talk about anything, very cool and very comforting to see. I had completely forgotten that Xander was the one who had to kill Jesse, I felt really bad for Xander for having to relive that again. I also really loved how Xander was able to talk to the other Willow about being scared to marry Anya and I really liked how Xander is able to see himself as a better guy, very cool. I can't wait to read more.

Lonewolf22

[SithLordWiccan]

Sally, while I've loved this fic right from the start, I've got to say that this chapter has been my favorite, thus far. I think that it was nice to be able to pull back from the greater picture and focus on Willow and Xander for a bit, given the friendship that they had in canon and the fact that in her universe, Xander was dead.

Also loved the explanation into why Xander is afraid of getting married to Anya. While I loved Season 6 (well, except for...well, you know.), I didn't think that they went into enough detail and explanations about certain things, and that was always got a bad vibe from me, especially since, at least to me, nothing really changed.

And I feel for Tara, too. The way you've described what she's going through makes it impossible for me to feel anything but sympathetic towards her. Hopefully things will turn out for the best, because sad Tara = unhappy me.

Good work, Sally.

[Grayson]

Like everyone else, I loved Willow's conversation with Xander. There was a realistic level of restraint - while they look familiar to each other, they're still pretty much strangers - but I think they also got to take advantage of the situation a bit. Xander hasn't been able to open up to canon Willow, but alterna-Willow is very interested in listening to him. And Willow is enjoying getting to see the person her Xander might have become (for better or worse), had he lived.

I also like that alterna-Willow is able to have an open mind about Anya - not having the history with her that canon Willow has, this Willow just appreciates Anya's honesty and sees how much she cares about Xander.

You're really getting deep into these characters' characters, if you know what I mean, and I look forward to similarly revealing conversations between Willow and Tara and Buffy. And heck, since you said he'll be appearing, maybe even with Spike.

Just Skip It said what I meant to say but forgot until I read her feedback - I like how calm Xander is about this whole situation. It's partly his laid-back nature, but I wonder if it's also a confidence in his friends that they'll solve this problem like they've solved all the ones prior to it. Poor Tara, understandably, isn't able to be so relaxed about things.

[viximon]

That was a sweet chapter. I mean, Willow and Xander interaction was splendid. And we got more answers now. Poor Tara is still having hard days. It's cool to see how diferent that Willow is but somehow so similar to the other one. And is good for Xander to speak his doubts with someone at last, hope it helps him.

Fantastic chapter, missing action but great nevertheless. Keep it up.

[JustSkipIt]

I don’t feel like I know what to say about this update. I’m not saying that I don’t like it: I just feel so strongly that I don’t know where it’s all going. It’s an interesting feeling to realize that I like to know what’s going to happen and this is making me very uneasy. Anyway, given that that’s your intention (not to make me uneasy but to control the flow of information), I’d say you can take it at its best.

Every now and then she would sneak a glance at Tara, finding herself more and more fascinated by the blonde - but also feeling strangely guilty.

Very interesting. I’ll again note Willow’s increasing empathy in noticing Tara’s eyes and her leaving the room to cry as well as her conversation with Xander.

A lot of the things we do for politeness' sake she get impatient with." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Willow shrugged. "It's kind of refreshing. Everyone has been really nice to me, but I get the sense there's a lot you all aren't telling me. Anya's straightforward, at least."

Man do I get that. I had a meeting the other day where I probably pissed off some other developers but we were just going in circle after circle after circle. We just needed to decide what to do and leave the room. Arggghhh.

As she glanced at the people who sat at the tables scattered around the room, a college-aged boy with dark hair caught her eye. He looked familiar, but she couldn't place him. She continued to study him, trying to remember how she knew him, but it seemed he was leaving. It kept nagging at her as she watched him gathering up his things until Xander interrupted her reverie.

Intriguing. I can only think of a few dark-haired guys from cannon so I’m curious about this.

Very sad interaction about Jesse. I wonder, assuming that this Willow will have to return to her world, if she will then grieve Xander again or have a sort of completion about it.

she wants our wedding cake to be cranberry-orange.

People have cranberry-orange wedding cakes?

Ok, I love the conversation between Willow and Xander and I’m particularly impressed with his ability to sort of interact with her as a long-lost friend but not be so weepy about the other Willow. He’s very matter-of-fact. Well done.

[sadie]

Yay update!! a great one, too I feel so bad for Tara still. Looking forward to the next installment. I love this story, very well done

[watty]

I enjoyed the interlude-y feel of this chapter. No big revelation for Willow's already overwhelmed mind to grapple with, just some relatively normal interactions with her new ... friends? family? People-she-interacts-with? Very neat twist you've put in, of Willow being bored with research (perish forbid!) and the observation about how calm Sunnydale seems to be, for a hellmouth. Very realistic train of thoughts for someone who isn't familiar with the landscape and whose entire universe has none of those demons, vampires and slayers.

Again with the sensitivity of this Willow, to notice the moments when Tara loses the control she has over herself and disappears to compose herself. I say again that the Willow of this reality may not have been as observant. How much longer will it take for Other!Willow to start wanting to comfort Tara? Does the truth universally acknowledged that a Tara in pain is in need of a Willow also apply to this dimension?

Anyway, like the warmth of the convo between Willow and Xander. Probably a little more chummy than I would have thought, with Xander all too aware this is another Willow; and Willow having to come to terms that she's talking to her long dead best friend. But these two have always clicked, so I'm not surprised they're able to confide in the other. Very believable description of the Xander / Anya situation too.
[br]

[taralicious]

Sally,
bored now, indeed.
This may be a world of vampires, demons, and creatures of the night, but that sense of ennui still pervades like a shroud over the rag-tag bunch of Slayerettes, Scoobies, whatever their appellation in this dimension.

She suspected that he was just trying to keep her busy and out of the way while the others read the important books.

Loved this sentence as Willow comes to the same realization that the others are merely humoring her as Rose Tyler's boyfriend Micky does in the "Doctor Who" story "School Reunion."
The Doctor gives Rose and Sarah Jane Smith, current and ex-companions, important work to do and tells Micky to stay outside in the car and do surveillance.
Mickey says "Stay in the car...That's like being told to sit in the back of the class with the safety scissors and the glitter."

Every now and then she would sneak a glance at Tara, finding herself more and more fascinated by the blonde - but also feeling strangely guilty.

In light of the paragraph that follows this sentence, this must weigh the heaviest upon Willow's mind in terms of how her presence there affects the home team, as it were.
She is inexplicably drawn to Tara, sneaking sly and cursory glances at the blonde, but feels a nagging guilt for even entertaining such thoughts about Tara since Tara's soul is in turmoil over the loss of her Willow and this is reflected in the deteriorating condition of her physical state.
Surely to offer oneself as comfort to Tara and to ask Tara to tell her, the otherdimensional Willow, how this world's Willow likes to please her would be a lack of respect that would result in the gang feeding this interloper Willow to the Vermicious Khnids.
Some constants do remain across dimensions, however, as she is able to be an outlet for Xander and all of his pent-up angst about settling his life upon the domestic path at such a young age.
A clever reversal of fortune from a question of Xander's brings the unnatural state of this world into solidity; instead of Xander being dead in her dimension and alive in this one, the Jesse from this dimension was bitten by a vampire and Xander staked him whereas Jesse is alive and walking around UCSunnydale, in Earth-Prime, the world with no supernatural affiliations, blissfully unaware of any supernatural duplicates of himself.
A wry twist upon which version can be considered the "real me".

[PancakesinBellies]

My poor fanfic addicted/addled brain is just moping around, waiting for two weeks to be over. Le sigh. Oh well, at least it's always worth it! I like that AU Willow is able to (re)connect with Xander, but I really hope that, for Tara's sake, that something gives soon. And that she gets her Willow back. And that AU Willow goes and finds AU Tara for lots of kisses and gay love. Yep. Mhmmm. (Well something good (i.e. smutty) has to come from all the angst!)

Keep up the good work!

[FineyMcFine]

db

dbPants! Again with the thanks! Hee hee, I didn't consciously intend for Willow's boredom to be an echo of her vampire self being bored, but I realized it while I was writing the chapter and thought it was a neat nod to Dopplegangland. And it was really important to me that Willow have some one-on-one time with Xander right off the bat. Besides Buffy, he's the only familiar person in this gang of Scoobies. I also would wager to guess a couple of things - with Xander dead, Willow didn't have much of a chance to fixate, crush-wise, on him, and at this point in her life her interests may have turned to other...things, so she might have skipped the whole possessiveness thing.

I wanted their talk to help Xander without being too cheesy or unbelieveable. I'm not sure if his transformation was complete here, maybe he was just momentarily encouraged. Time will tell.

I think you're right on the money - Willow is fascinated with Tara. She was sort of put off by Tara at first with the overly familiar thing, but now she seems to be getting more and more interested. I think that she hasn't tried to help because she probably knows that it's not her place or whatever. Maybe she thinks that comfort from a lookalike would be harder than no comfort at all. Or, maybe she's just shy and doesn't know quite how to offer comfort to someone she is...fascinated with.

Yes, a crisis! One is building bit by bit. In chapter terms, this was chapter 9, but in the DD timeline, it's only the second day that Willow's there - Saturday afternoon. So some sort of crisis will happen, so to speak. We'll find out more soon!

[hr]

Thianne

I dunno why db is always dibsing - mebbe she's online when I post! I'm really glad you loved the update, Vale. I agree that Willow and Xander drifted apart on the show, and that was something that I thought was both normal (as you get older and couple up it sort of happens naturally) but also because they didn't make it a priority to spend time together. And when both of them were going through stuff and could have used a friend, it wasn't quite as natural for one of them to reach out to the other.

the easy solution would be to destroy the vamp-less dimension...with Buffy and their Willow, so this Willow and the others wound't have any concerns.

Well, I guess that would one solution, although I think that everyone would probably be concerned about it.

or maybe allow a threesome between the two Willows and Tara.....

Uhhhhhhhhhhh...

I definitely think that Buffy and Tara have taken it worst, and Tara most of all. As I recall from canon Buffy was having mixed feelings about Willow at this time since Willow was the one who resurrected her. So I imagine she's struggling to reconcile her concern with her resentment, and then also feeling guilty that she's feeling any resentment at all when Willow is missing.

I agree, the wedding thing was crappy. I don't know if a cranberry-orange cake would be good, but it sounded like an unusual type of thing that Anya might like. I doubt they'll actually end up with a cranberry-orange cake, any baker worth their weight in sugar would probably help to steer them straight.

[qupte]Last thing: now, from how you're writing it, it looks like you will hook them (Willow and Tara) up, and then finish the story shortly after that. now.....please, don't. continue a little bit, or, i don't know. i just can't survive a huge teasing story if all we get in the end is a first kiss, or the knowledge that they'll be together forever. this is nice, and all....but not enough [/quote]

Verrrry interesting. At this time, more I shall not say.

[hr]

Foomatic

Hey Foo - thanks for appreciating the meshing! That's one of the things that's fun about this story is that we get to see a world that is familiar to us as watchers of the show through the eyes of an outsider, and we get to appreciate the jokes all over again. It's fun. And totally, I think she felt much more at home with Xander than she had felt before in the big group or in the house full of crying women and a sullen teenager. I think this Willow is the type of person who feels more comfortable one-on-one instead of in a big group anyway.

OOhhh, and mystery man in cafe? I have my guesses . . .

Hee hee! I wonder who you guess it is.

Thanks for reading!

[hr]

Lonewolf22

Lonewolf22, thanks a lot. Yeah, Xander and Willow go way back even though they've never met. I thought it was poignant that Xander had a dead friend too, just like Willow had a dead friend. I appreciate that you like the lens that Willow was able to provide for Xander to view his life - thanks so much!

[hr]

SithLordWiccan

Sith, thank you! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I thought it was important that Xander and Willow get to have a connection. I always wondered exactly why in canon Xander was afraid to go through with his wedding. That ep, Hells Bells, makes me really sad and I've never been able to watch it all the way through - I just can't stand it when Anya's that sad. I guess being afraid that he'll end up like his parents is one explanation, but I thought it was Joss Whedon being a drama queen. Although when your show is a drama, I guess it calls for drama.

Yeah, poor Tara. I think that things will turn out for the best, whatever the best may be.

Thank you for reading!

[hr]

Grayson

Like everyone else, I loved Willow's conversation with Xander. There was a realistic level of restraint

Ooh, Grayson, you naughty thing! Oh, wait - you didn't mean that kind of restraint.

Yeah, I think that Xander wasn't able to open up to canon Willow for a few reasons. They've kind of let their friendship coast for a bit, plus they're very wrapped up in their own drama. At this point I think Willow was all stressed out by the stress of having to lead the group while Buffy was dead, then consumed with the guilt of resurrecting her (or whatever).

Yeah, I think that this Willow is beyond THAT kind of history with Xander - she's older now, but her friendship with him ended around grade 8, so her crush hadn't really appeared yet. I just can't resist having people like Anya.

Yeah, I think that Xander usually feels pretty confident that Buffy and everyone else will come up with solutions to problems. That's how I've always viewed him. He usually just tries to make it through an episode without dying. And you're right, he is pretty laid-back in general. I don't think it's a guy thing necessarily, but more of a Xander thing.

Thanks very much, Grayson!

[hr]

viximon

Thanks viximon! Yeah, I think we need to get more answers in every chapter. You're right that this one is missing action and a few other chapters upcoming might, but there will also be action here and there because that's important too. I'm glad that Xander could talk to someone, I agree. Thanks!

[hr]

JustSkipIt

Hey DebRA - it's interesting for me to hear that you don't know where the update is going. When I plotted it out it was pretty clear to me what had to happen and what I wanted to happen, but I realize that in writing the story and posting the chapters that someone who wasn't privy to my outline could reasonably assume that one of two things would happen: Willow would stay, or she would go back to her world. In rereading some of the chapters I don't think I've given people many clues. So I'm sorry that it's making you feel uneasy but at the same time I'm glad that it's sort of intriguing.

Yeah, Willow is growing more and more attuned to Tara and her moods. Wonder what that means.

Who is the mysterious dark-haired man? We'll find out more soon. And I don't think that people really have cranberry-orange wedding cakes, but I think that Anya is sort of quirky and it seemed like the sort of quirky thing she might state as a desire. I dunno. I don't think that they actually had that type of cake at her actual aborted wedding, so I'll chalk it up to one of those things that amuses me.

Very glad you liked the Xander-Willow interaction. He seems pretty easygoing in canon and not so much prone to freaking out about the long-term stuff, just the short term stuff sometimes, so I thought that he'd pretty easily rally himself to talk with Willow about his relationship and stuff. Thanks Debra!

[hr]

sadie

Thank you so much sadie! The next installment is coming up soon - next Tuesday. Thank you for reading!

[hr]

watty

Yo wattster, Vegas baby! woot! Yeah, one of my fears is that so far this story has been mostly interlude and not too much action, but that seems to be par for the course. About 2/3 of the story is this Willow's inner journey, while about 1/3 is other stuff. So we can expect some more action, but also some more interludes. I think the next chapter will be sort of interlude-ish as well. Well, maybe. Heh.

Willow bored with research, you know it's not the Willow from this dimension! And the observation about Sunnydale being calm and boring was sort of Mary Sue, because I was rereading some chapters and thought to myself "I thought this was the Hellmouth, why aren't there more vamps already?" But then I thought that while the show showed us what happens at night with Buffy fighting vampires and stuff, we've been following Willow around and she goes to sleep at night. And then I also thought she's only been there for a day and a half - so not much has had a chance to happen. But I think about shows like CSI and Law and Order and you'd get the impression that doing police work is action all the time and that research is really quick, when in reality every breakthrough is preceded by mindless tedium in the lab and painstaking work.

I think you're right, the Willow of this reality at this point in time was not quite as observant as this Willow. How long will it take before Other!Willow wants to comfort Tara? Well...read on, when the update gets updated. Sort of.

Smooches!

[hr]

taralicious

Blayne, yeah - bored now. Heh. And thanks for picking up on how Giles was sort of humoring Willow. I think she's a pretty sharp tack and knows when she's being given busywork.

Yeah, I think that Willow's feeling a strange combination of guilt for something that isn't her fault and guilt for, uh, being fascinated with Tara. I would indeed agree with your assessment that any offer from this Willow to comfort and please Tara would probably be met with some, uh, disdain not only from Tara but from her friends.

That's the other thing about canon, he and Anya were going to get married YOUNG. I mean, I didn't get married till I was 31 (and now I'm the big 3-2) and it seemed to me like exactly the right time. My sister got married younger than me, around 29, which also seemed like a fine time. But I have friends who got married at 24, 25, 26 and it always seemed like that was a really young age.

Yeah, I sort of thought that up till now Willow had only been told of major vampires and stuff but hadn't really had the reality driven home, and someone she actually knew when she was younger being dead now sort of seemed like a good way to make it clear that this world is real and it's dangerous and sinister. More on that to come soon. Thanks for reading!

[hr]

highlandlass25

Awww, no addled brains! I seriously don't mean to be coy with posting an update every two weeks, it's just a comfortable time period for me to know that I can get the next chapter ready in plenty of time. But I hope that it's worth it and you're kind to say so.

Well...there might be smut at some point. More, I shall not say. Thank you so much for reading!

[Thianne]

I don't know if a cranberry-orange cake would be good, but it sounded like an unusual type of thing that Anya might like. I doubt they'll actually end up with a cranberry-orange cake, any baker worth their weight in sugar would probably help to steer them straight.

Sally, you're a nut!

[FineyMcFine]

[center][/center]
Title: Dimension Dementia
Part: 10
Author: SallyMcFine
Feedback: I love feedback. Bring it on!
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All disclaimers apply
Thanks: To my beta, Mrs. McFine, for her editing and storyline skills that are out of this world.
Setting: AU/canon crossover
Summary: What happens when a shy, introverted girl is torn away from her world and deposited into a dimension full of vampires, demons, and...a girlfriend?
[hr]

Part 10 - Cheating

"He's a werewolf?" Willow's tone was incredulous.

She sat in the large leather chair in the Summers' living room facing Tara and Buffy, who sat on the couch. After Giles had called it a day at the Magic Box, they had come home for a quick dinner. Dawn picked at her food and announced that she was going to Janice's, which was met by a muttered 'fine' from Buffy. After the meal was over, the three of them had moved into the living room and had started talking about Willow's Danny and the other Willow's Oz - and it seemed they were analogues of each other.

"It happened in high school - his werewolf cousin bit him."

"And I suppose he's not evil either?"

Buffy covered a smile. "No, not evil. That's not to say that he wasn't dangerous, though. We'd lock him in the library cage in high school when it was a full moon."

Willow shook her head in disbelief. "Does he still live around here?"

"No," Buffy replied. "He had a hard time coming to terms with Willow and Tara's relationship when he came back, and he thought it was best that he didn't hang around."

"Where did he go?"

The slayer's expression became more serious. "I'm not sure exactly. Tibet, maybe. He learned some ways to keep the wolf from coming out over there, I guess, so he went back to regain the control he'd lost. I never got the full story."

"You said when he came back. Why did he leave the first time?"

Buffy cleared her throat and glanced at Tara. "Well, there was an incident."

"A wolf incident?" Willow asked.

"Sort of." Buffy seemed reluctant to elaborate, but finally continued. "It happened one night when he was wolfy. Willow went over there, and she found him with...another wolf."

Seeing Willow's confused expression, Tara broke in to clarify. "There was a girl that Oz met who was in a band, and it turned out she was a werewolf too. And, well...he escaped from his cage one night, and he ended up with her. And one thing led to another...a couple of times, actually. Then Willow found out."

Willow's face showed surprise, but also a sad sort of knowledge. "Was her name Veruca?"

Buffy did a double take, as did Tara. "Yes. How?..."

"The same thing happened to me. Well, without the wolf part - at least as far as I know," Willow said half-jokingly. She sighed. "Danny and I, it was great at first," she said. "He was so interesting, and so - I don't know, cool, I guess? He was in a jazz band, and he played the saxophone. For the first few weeks, I couldn't believe he was actually interested in me. Does that sound weird?"

"Not at all," Tara said. Buffy nodded her agreement.

"So it was fine, and fun, but then, I don't know, it was hard hanging out all the time with his band friends, and going to their band parties. All they ever talked about was music, which was fine up to a point, but I didn't really speak musicianese. It got kind of boring after a while - and so I stopped wanting to go with him to parties. We fought about it, but I was pretty firm - or stubborn, I guess. He said he felt like I wasn't being supportive of something that was a huge part of his life." She shrugged.

Buffy and Tara gave her sympathetic looks and she continued.

"But I thought I was being supportive - I went to all of his concerts. And he didn't make much of an effort to fit in with my friends. Well, with Buffy, anyway. It's not like I have a huge social circle besides her," she amended with a self-deprecating laugh.

"They didn't click?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Not really," Willow said. "She thought he tried too hard to be avant-garde, but it was just the way he was. And he thought she wasn't very nice to him, which she probably wasn't. I think she felt a little threatened. Not, uh, in a gay way," she rushed to add, flushing beet red and pointedly not looking at Tara. "Just in a best friend possessive sort of way."

Tara nodded, covering an amused smile with a cough. "I understand."

"Anyway," Willow continued, "I guess I skipped one party too many, and there was a late night and a lot of alcohol, and Veruca was there...he told me about it the next day, when he broke up with me."

"You mean he confessed and then broke up with you right after that?" Buffy asked, scandalized. "No begging for forgiveness or groveling?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I was pretty mad. Hurt. Both, I guess. He said that he had felt for a while that it wouldn't work out between us. I just wish he would have told me before, instead of cheating on me."

As Willow spoke, she crossed her arms and frowned, the pain of the memory still affecting her. What she didn't tell Buffy and Tara was that she had silently agreed with Danny - it wasn't going to work out between them. They were too different, or wanted different things - she hadn't known what it was, but something about the relationship wasn't right. But the betrayal had hurt her deeply, and though her grief at the loss of the intimacy had been relatively short-lived, the pain of his dishonesty had lingered.

"I can understand that," Tara said.

"Danny and Veruca are still together, actually. So did Oz end up with Veruca here?" Willow asked.

Buffy bit her lip. "Not exactly." She paused while she worked out how to phrase it. "Willow was pretty upset when she found them together, so she went to go do a spell on them, something about breaking their hearts. But Veruca followed her and tried to kill her, and then Oz showed up, and he killed Veruca."

"He killed her?" Willow exclaimed.

"Yep. I mean, they were both in wolf form when it happened, so it's not like he made a human decision to kill her - it was all animal protection instinct at that point. But it was still shocking for him, and for Will too. That's why he decided to go away - to try to learn how to control the wolf. I think he felt a lot of guilt, too, both about the cheating and the killing."

"Wow. That's too bad," Willow said, although she felt a tiny, uncharitable spark of glee that she quickly tried to squash down.

Buffy grinned at her. "But you're smirking a bit."

Willow quirked a smile. "Am I? I don't mean to. Really, I don't. It's not that Veruca was a bad person, other than that she was a man-stealing whore." Tara snorted with laughter at this.

"I was actually thinking, though, that every story you guys have ends with 'So then we killed him' or 'After the third decapitation it finally stayed dead.'"

Buffy laughed. "You're right, actually. I guess it's pretty gruesome. It just seems like life to me."

Willow cleared her throat. She wanted to ask a question, so badly that even the thought of asking it was causing her heart to pound, and she wanted to sound casual. This seemed like the perfect time to ask it nonchalantly.

"So how did you and Willow end up together, then?" She directed her question to Tara, trying hard to keep her voice neutral. "Did you meet each other after Oz left town?"

Tara's eyes, so recently reflecting amusement from Willow's previous comment about Veruca, softened a bit at the question. "Yes, we met at the campus Wicca group," she replied. "We got to be friends, and then, after a while, um...more than friends."

"What did Willow call it when the Council came? Lesbian gay-type lovers?" Buffy asked. "Ha! I still wish I could have seen their faces."

Despite her best efforts, Willow could feel a blush creeping into her cheeks. Also, she noticed that the aura of sadness that seemed to hang around Tara had returned at the mention of her missing girlfriend.

"Cool," she said quickly. "Excuse me for a moment, I need to use the restroom."

Buffy watched Willow leave the room, and then turned to look at Tara. "I guess that answers that," she said wryly.

Tara nodded. "Subtlety was never Willow's strong suit. I guess that's true for this one too."

Buffy sighed. "I hope this doesn't complicate anything. She seems a lot more high-strung than ours, which I didn't know was possible." She gazed out the window, and noticed the rapidly approaching twilight. "Speaking of which, I had better get my high-strung crossbow and hightail it to the cemetery."

"Are you going to stop at Giles'?"

Buffy nodded. "He said he was expecting to hear back from the coven and the Council tonight. Don't worry, Tare - I'll get the update for you," she said, rummaging in the closet. She emerged with a couple of stakes which she put in her back pocket and the aforementioned crossbow.

"Thanks, Buffy," Tara said, crossing her arms. She seemed to want to say more, but Willow came back into the room.

"I'm off to put my nose to the gravestone," Buffy said to both of them. "Don't wait up. But if Dawn isn't home from Janice's in ten minutes, would you mind calling her?"

"Don't worry," Tara said. "I won't let her walk home alone in the dark."

"Thanks, Tara," Buffy said. "Willow, I'll see you tomorrow."

The redhead waved as Buffy left the house. She sat down in the recliner, feeling a little shy now that she was alone with Tara. It seemed like she didn't need to worry though - Tara appeared to have retreated into herself and didn't seem inclined to continue the conversation. She picked up the remote control with a "Mind if we watch some TV?"

Willow nodded, settling into her chair while Tara covered herself with an afghan on the couch. Truth be told, she was glad for a break from the conversation. She was surprised it had been so easy to talk to the two about herself - usually her Buffy was the only person she even felt like confiding in. But where this conversation had ended up...well, some mindless TV seemed like just the thing.

[dixiedarlin83]

DIBS!!

Sounds like Willow is definitely getting interested in Tara. I hope she gets to go back to her world and find her own Tara.
Love it!

[mole]

Buffy watched Willow leave the room, and then turned to look at Tara. "I guess that answers that," she said wryly.

Tara nodded. "Subtlety was never Willow's strong suit. I guess that's true for this one too."

Oh boy, talk about potential for complications. Seems AltWillow is realizing what our Willow knew all along, how can she not fall in love with Tara?

My heart goes out to Tara, it must be incredibly hard to see the vision of your love but not be albe to act on it.

Great update, as always, Sally. Looking forward to more.

Michelle

[Thianne]

SALLY! you updated! oh, good! that was just what i needed, a nice update waiting for me.....ok, so i loved it. duh. i'm starting to repeat myself.

i liked the conversation, and the parallelism of the lives of the two willows, cause it showed the similarities, but also the differences.

and of course, this:

It's not that Veruca was a bad person, other than that she was a man-stealing whore." Tara snorted with laughter at this.

was hilarious

and about willow's interest about her alternate's relationship with tara....well, that's intriguing. this new willow seems very....aware of tara, meaning that she seems to be curious about her and pays a lot of attention to what she does. i'm really wondering where are you going with this. i was actually thinking about the movie "The family man", with Nicholas Cage - where he goes back to his dimention, and then finds Tea Leoni and tries to correct his mistake. will the new willow go back to her world - if they can send her back - and find the other tara? that would be pretty cool, i guess- everyone would be happy.

so, no threesome, uh? damn i already had visuals

i also noticed that tara seems to close off whenever she's alone with willow.....which is bad. i mean, i can understand her. she can't be "free" to do what she wants, cause this is not her willow. but still.....she seems....afraid? afraid to get close to this willow?

as always, you leave me hanging....well done, Sally.

can't wait for the next update

[Grayson]

I love seeing the canon world through this Willow's eyes. The "after the third decapitation it finally stayed dead" line cracked me up. Just another day in the life of the Scoobys.

Nice parallels between the worlds - it's interesting to explore what these characters would be like if they weren't on a Hellmouth.

I like the gradual way Willow is coming to understand her feelings about Tara (and potentially the entire fairer sex) and the way Buffy and Tara are picking up on it. Poor alterna-Willow and her lack of subtlety. And poor Tara, who not only has to deal with missing her Willow but also with the complication of a very nice, very fragile lookalike who seems to be developing a crush on her.

As always, a great update.

[bluebird]

Awww poor Will... all with the blushing, and heart thumping.

There has got to be her very own Tara shaped love interest in her own dimension that she can seek out if only she can get back.

Where are those ruby slippers when you need them huh??

Though if there are no hellmouth, monsters or magic Tara wont be in sunnydale I'm thinking.... what Will needs to do is get all the inside scoop from this Tara she can so when (not if, but when!!) she returns she can take a road trip- which could lead to hugs and kisses

I liked this update loads 'cause you gave us some cute interaction between these girls, shame it ended when Buffy left.

And once again my heart went out to Tara, she really is just shutting off to Willow when they are alone, which wasn't what I would have expected, but I guess it stops her from breaking down all the time.

Hope you (or the muse/vocies in your head ) know how to make everything all work out in the distant, far from now, end.

I am very much enjoying the ride!!!!

(ETA a smack for the misuse of letters and words in the english language )

[sadie]

Me too, very much enjoying the ride. Still wondering if they'll have a one-on-one talk... evening on couch with TV seems perfect for that hehe. We'll see Great update... Thanks a lot

[db]

Sally Pants!

I missed the dibs... my mojo must've take a stroll.

Again with the sweet update -- although I am not convinced that Buffy and Tara's conference about that settling things is about AU Willow crushing on Tara -- I think they wondered if AU Willow had any gay-type lesbian luvahs. I think she settled that question -- but the wanting to ask Tara about how she and Willow met, and the blushing and the heart pounding? I think that might indicate a AU Willow hypothesis re: being more alike than different - if you know what I mean. **wiggles eyebrows**

Willow and Tara are alone together.

You mustn't abandon this opportunity. I beg of you!

I want them to know eachother and to like eachother. I don't know if this Willow can, but I think that she might be able to give Tara some perspective on how out of control her Willow got with magic... plus AU Willow is real sweet and I think she's ripe to start crushing on Tara.

*grin*

db