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The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 4/11/10)

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 5/15/05)

Postby pipsberg » Sun May 22, 2005 6:05 pm

Cam,

Great update. :peace I'm going to quote one of the funniest lines I have seen in a long, long time:

‘does she want to eat me or does she want to eat me?'


Awesome!! So anyway, I have been somewhat awol lately but caught up on some reading today. I love the update, it's very amusing and cute. I am definitely tickled by the "you two got to screw so we get to screw" idea. I'm also intruiged by Tara's plan. I am sure it will involve some kind of sexy distraction.

Thanks buddy!!
-pipsberg

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 5/15/05)

Postby Safuega » Mon May 23, 2005 6:33 pm

I suspected that non-slayer Tara packed a wallop beneath that shy demeanor and now she is about to prove it. She is obviously shy not stupid, and I'm really curious to see how she gets them out of the 'clutches' of Slayer Tara and Vampire Willow.

Great update. I'm looking forward to more. Thanks for sharing.

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 5/15/05)

Postby Arielle » Sun Jun 05, 2005 12:11 pm

So...what's her plan? Whatever happens, I hope none of the Willows or Taras dies or gets her feelings hurt. Can we have an update soon please?
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feedback replies

Postby tarawhipped » Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:35 pm

Chapter 5 replies, then right to Chapter 6. Thanks for reading! :)

GayNow: Yo, Beta Bud! I said it before, but your input really made this update work, so thank you. Glad you liked Anya...one of the things I always loved about her was how she could be so perceptive about some things, yet completely miss the boat on others. Tara's incredibly well strategized plan will be revealed in the next update. Thanks again for all your help, and don't call me girly!!! Grrrrr.[br]
UnicornLover: Hi, Shawna. I'm Cam, not Cass, so I hope I didn't get someone's feedback! Either way, thanks for the very enthusiastic comments. Sorry for the delay in updating, but I'm not really that funny, so I have to wait for inspiration to strike, or this would totally suck (and not in the naughty fun way). :-D [br]
Naeryn: Thanks, Megan! I had no idea the orange-tossing would be such a hit. I originally had her throwing an apple, which I see now would have been much less humorous. Glad you liked ST's quick change from snogging to professional...she's got talent alright. ;-) [br]
Killer In Me: Thanks for writing, it's always nice to see new names in feedback! And I cannot withstand the power of the puppy dog eyes...update next.[br]
YMKA: Awww, Marina, your feedback cracks me up! I'm definitely writing ST with Faith in mind...her attitude at least...glad you got the picture. Thanks![br]
stillrunning: Thank you so much, I love hearing that people are getting lots of chuckles out of this. And who knew flinging fruit at vampire noggins was so gosh darn funny??? More on the way...[br]
watson: First off, dude...despite what she may think, Carleen is NOT the boss of you! Stand up to her, already! I'll just wait over there...*runs away* I was both amused and humbled by your praise, but must respectfully point out that you are fully as crazy as I am. I'm glad you like that the story has many diverse elements, and don't think it's painfully disjointed. I keep falling into seriousness on this fic, then realizing it and going overboard to silly it up. Nice to hear you're enjoying it anyway. And just get over the cliffhanger thing...it's not gonna stop. :p [br]
WT214: I'm glad you're enjoying it, and Tara's plan will be revealed next...[br]
cooper: cooper, your comments made me :-D . Dopeygayland has been my favorite short to write, which is why it's evolved into an ongoing silly saga (and hopefully y'all will tell me when I've gone on too long). Tara's plan in the next update...[br]
potential_angel: lmao, Mel...of course it wasn't the icky vampire sort of eating...though there may be some of that later (NOT of RGW or PST). Glad you liked it, and more silliness and sweetness next.[br]
hermitfish: Holy crap, Cyd...just the fact that you left me COMPREHENSIBLE fb after 29 hours of driving gives you bonus points in my book. Thanks r.e. the clarity and humor...I love to entertain such appreciative Kittens. :) [br]
caz: I like your remarks about RGW having a lot in common with VW, and agree with you. I also think ST and PST have more in common than even they think, especially when it comes to being protective of their respective Willows. Thanks, Caz![br]
CaptMurdock: Ahoy, Cap'n! Thanks so much for your comments, even if the phrase "Put your cold shower on danger money, baby" had me a bit confused. Um...that means you liked it, right? Funny that you mention a quick trade...PST might consent to it, just maybe not how you think. ;-) [br]
the hero factor: Oh, I'm so glad you liked the images of VW morphing (that one made me giggle as I wrote it) and RGW's "hell no" face...I knew people would be able to see that. Thanks![br]
meretricious: LMAO, Mary...I know what you mean...if I think too much about what I'm writing, it just sounds ridiculous. I think maybe the image of Harmony in Restless may have influenced the VW morphing...that was such a funny, non-threatening image for a vampire, and I thought it fit well for VW. I'm a sap at heart, so it always comes back to the warm fuzzies. I also tend to use the trust theme a lot, so that particular bit of dialogue usually turns up...I just love it.
frozen peas in a DORM frig? all ours ever had was wine coolers yogurt and string cheese
Mary...you're my idol (tho you're dating yourself with the wine cooler reveal, sweetie) ;-)[br]
JustSkipIt: Thanks so much, Debra. As I told watson, it's nice to know people are enjoying the shifts from silly to cute to etc... without thinking it's a big honking mess. I'm using a beta for the first time, which helps immensely.[br]
ringwaldoeuvre: Thank you Mary, it's always really cool to hear nice things from other writers, especially ones whose writing I admire, and you are definitely one of them. :) [br]
WickedReds: "Sexually deviant visuals," G? You?!?!?! :lol Always good to see you here, dude, late or not. Good luck with RL, and stick your head in chat once in a while when you can, ok?[br]
behindhereyes: Awww, Kim! :blush If anyone else calls me brilliant I'm going to have to buy all new hats. Thank you for your always sweet words, and I hope this next update finds you well.[br]
Wimpy0729: Pam! So good to see your name here, buddy. No comment on the chaps, smartass. Glad you had a chance to read and respond...but I think your warped mind comes up with just as much silliness as mine does. LNF, for crying out loud??? Thanks Wimpy![br]
onlyhalfevil:
it's pure entertainment of the happy fuzzy kind
That is exactly what I want this to be, and I thank you! So nice to hear that the visuals are making an impression...writing physical humor is harder than I realized, and it's great to get positive remarks. [br]
terra21: Hi terra! I know what you mean about the "spaz being spazzy" line. I think I wrote that about me as much as Tara. Thanks so much, dude![br]
TemperedCynic: Thanks, Mike. I love having both sets of W/T to play with, cause it allows me to be sappy sweet AND smutty. Interesting theory about RGW...that would be dramatic, but I'm not sure I could bring on the angst.[br]
pipsberg: Thanks so much, Pips...always nice to know I made you laugh. Hey, here's a funny joke: the Cubs took 3 out of 4 from San Diego this weekend! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Love ya, pal![br]
Safuega: Thank you, and you're right...Tara is shy, not stupid. Unfortunately she maybe isn't the top strategist when it comes to evading vamps. Read more to find out![br]
Arielle: Update is coming up next, and I promise no Willows or Tara will die. There might be some hurt feelings, but nothing some snuggles won't fix. Thank you![br][br]
"I hate fairies! They're like little slutty bug monsters!" -- Angela
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The Chronicles of Dopeygayland

Postby tarawhipped » Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:40 pm

Title: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland
Author: tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: If you know what’s good for you, you will.
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Sincere thanks to my beta, Carleen, who gleefully points out my flaws and makes me happy about it. You’re the best!
Notes: Thoughts in italics[br][br][br]
Dopeygayland Spanks Back, Part 6: Presto Chango![br][br]
“I’ll do it,” Tara stated.[br]
Willow hopped off the bed with a delighted squeal and rushed toward Tara. The blonde held out her hands to stop the vampire, who simply walked into Tara’s palms, which were conveniently raised at boob level. The shy student blushed to her roots and quickly withdrew her hands, after only one entirely reflexive and in no way planned squeeze.[br]
“I ha-have one condition first,” she stammered.[br]
The vampire looked decidedly unhappy with this turn of events, but the Slayer simply lay back on the bed, reclining on her side and resting her check on one fist, while gesturing with the other for her twin to continue.[br]
“I w-want you to ch-change,” Tara directed to the vampire, whose eyes lit up with glee.[br]
“Oooh…kinky!” she exclaimed, morphing into vamp-face and again approaching the horrified girl.[br]
“Not l-like that!” the blonde hastily interjected. “Your clothes! Not that the leather isn’t, um, nice and all…I’m just not into the biker look.”[br]
“You want me to take it off?” the vampire purred, reaching for the laces of her corset.[br]
“N-no! I…I want you to change into some of this W-Willow’s clothes. Otherwise, no deal.”[br]
The undead Willow’s leer melted off of her face as she turned to look at her twin, currently decked out in maroon pants, orange sneakers, and a long sleeve t-shirt that seemed to have been run through the wash with a birthday cake. The vampire shuddered and paled noticeably—no small feat for a walking corpse. She made her best mopey puppy dog expression to Tara, but the blonde didn’t bat an eye. With an exasperated sigh, she turned to her doppelganger.[br]
“Fine…give me your clothes.”[br]
“What? No!” Willow refused, crossing her arms over her chest and backing up a step.[br]
“I w-was thinking that Willow and I could just r-run over to her room real quick and pick something out,” the blonde offered, grabbing the redhead’s arm. “We’ll be right back…you two wait here.”[br]
Before they reached the door, the Slayer had leapt off the bed and placed herself squarely between them and the exit.[br]
“Not so fast, girls. How about you two stay here with me and Kitten can go pick something out herself.”[br]
“I don’t know,” Tara hedged.[br]
“OH! But she can’t enter my room uninvited,” Willow proclaimed victoriously.[br]
“Sure she can…she’s you,” the Slayer explained. “How do you think I was able to invite her into this Tara’s room?”[br]
Willow and Tara exchanged uneasy glances, but the Slayer’s demeanor left no room for argument. Willow grudgingly turned over her keys and gave her twin directions to her dorm.[br]
“So was that the extent of your brilliant plan? ‘Run away!’” the Slayer snickered, closing the door and sauntering back over to the bed.[br]
“How did you—?” Tara asked, confused.[br]
“Slayer hearing,” her twin replied, pointing at said appendage.[br]
“I think it was a perfectly good plan,” Willow interjected. “Or would have been if you hadn’t screwed it up for us.”[br]
The Slayer made a ‘harrumph’ noise and arched an eyebrow at the redhead.[br]
“It was a lame plan, lover…you’re only saying that cause you want to get in her pants.”[br]
“That is not…I don’t…and hey! That’s none of your business! And stop calling me ‘lover’!”[br]
“Oh, so you don’t want to fuck her?”[br]
“I…I…,” the embarrassed redhead faltered, looking over at the blushing blonde who seemed to be more curious than horrified. “I wasn’t really thinking beyond talking to her yet.”[br]
Both Taras smiled.[br]
“So…get to know each other first…then the hot monkey sex. I see…sort of the opposite of how we did it, huh?”[br]
“Oh my God! Were you this obnoxious before?” Willow exclaimed.[br]
“Though, we never did get around to really talking,” the Slayer continued, completely nonplussed by the other girls’ reactions, “unless you count moaning and screaming each other’s names as conversation.” She seemed lost in thought for a moment, then turned to face her doppelganger. “On second thought, that was a really good plan. You should take off. I’ll stay here and…protect…Willow.”[br]
Tara’s brow knitted in confusion, but the moment she saw her twin lock eyes on the redhead and clasp one freckled hand, she understood.[br]
“If you think I’m going to leave my room so that you can screw around in my bed, you’re insane!”[br]
“You’re welcome to stay and watch. I’m more of a ‘hands-on’ girl myself, but whatever floats your boat.” The Slayer shrugged and started to pull Willow toward the bed.[br]
“I don’t want to watch! I want you to not have sex in my bed!” Tara protested, grabbing the redhead’s other hand to halt their progress.[br]
“Hmmm…well, the desk is a little small, but I suppose it’ll do,” she remarked casually, dragging Willow toward the piece of furniture in question.[br]
“Not on the desk either…or the floor!” the blonde quickly added, scowling as her doppelganger shut her mouth and frowned. “Not in my room at all!”[br]
“Don’t be selfish. You obviously aren’t interested, so—”[br]
“I never said that,” Tara argued, taking the redhead’s hand in both of hers and attempting to pull her loose from her twin’s grasp.[br]
“Then you are hot for her,” the Slayer stated helpfully, yanking Willow toward her.[br]
“I—Goddess, you’re such a horndog!”[br]
“It’s simple, you either want to get naked with her or not.”[br]
HEY!” Willow shouted, jerking both of her arms free from the momentarily startled Taras. “No more tug-of-Willow!”[br]
“Sorry,” the shy blonde mumbled contritely, looking down at the floor. Willow quickly turned to the girl.[br]
“No, Tara…I’m not mad at you,” she emphasized, shooting an angry look at the Slayer. “I just…this really isn’t how I hoped our first meeting would go.”[br]
“H-how did you hope it w-would?”[br]
“Oh, you know, the usual…introductions, me saying something adorably clever, you laughing and smiling that cute little half smile—that’s the one—and then me asking you if you’d like to go out with me sometime.”[br]
“I would,” the blushing blonde answered.[br]
“Really?” Willow squeaked, grinning ear to ear as Tara bit her bottom lip and nodded. “We could go to the Espresso Pump! Or the Bronze! Or maybe you’d rather go to a fancy restaurant? Are there any fancy restaurants in Sunnydale? I’ve lived here my whole life, I should know these things!”[br]
“Willow, calm down…the Espresso Pump is fine.”[br]
“I hate to break up the Hallmark Moment girls, but my Willow’s going to be back any minute now.” Willow and Tara looked at each other, the Slayer, and the door in succession.[br]
“I c-c-can’t—,” Tara stuttered, looking miserably at Willow, who enveloped the trembling girl in a tight hug.[br]
“It’s okay. I won’t let her touch you.” The redhead released her grip and stepped back, smiling as Tara continued to clasp one of hands.[br]
“No offense Willow, but you aren’t going to be able to stop her,” the Slayer stated. Before the hacker could protest, the blonde raised her hand and continued. “Which is where I come in.”[br]
“You’re g-going to s-s-stake her?” Tara asked in surprise, crinkling her brow at why the thought bothered her.[br]
“Of course not!” her twin laughed. “I brought her here to teach her a lesson, not dust her! She seems to have forgotten who the Mistress is here. Even the scales, my ass.”[br]
“So you w-were never going to let h-her—”[br]
“Never,” the Slayer replied forcefully, a sincere smile gracing her face. “You belong with this Willow.”[br]
The redhead in question stared speechlessly, mouth agape, at the Slayer.[br]
“I would have explained all this before if I hadn’t been flung down an alley by some people,” she teased. “General Custer here’s brilliant strategy gave me a better idea, though. I’m going to need some of your clothes, Tara.”[br][br][br]
TBC[br][br]
Last edited by tarawhipped on Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby hermitfish » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:42 pm

Yay update! I have to admire the amount of composure current world W&T have considering Slayer Tara suggests sex between the two of them about every other minute and they just met a brief time period ago. But you can’t fault her for putting the idea in their heads or sorta redirecting Willow into asking 'Not so Shy' Tara out. Now, the new plan Slayer Tara is suggesting sounds like a riot…and since you’re writing I don’t have to doubt something enjoyable will occur. Great update.

~Cyd
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby Naeryn » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:47 pm

:lmao :lmao :lmao

Kickass, Cam! poor shy flustered Tara... I didn't see Slayer Tara's move at the end coming.

VampWillow's in a for a bit of a surprise... :applause

More! Moremoremoremoremore! I need some RGW and PST smoochies!
Don't you sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides - Garth Brooks, "the River"
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby TemperedCynic » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:04 pm

I figured ST was pushing their buttons, but I've rarely seen a fic with ShyTara and ShyWillow forced to admit their feelings so soon in their proto-relationship. To admit that they're hot for the other was uncomfortable and cute all at the same time. And what's up with ST and her control issues? Buffy much? Anyway, I'm gonna be VERY interested to see how ST messes with her VW's hormones and mind. Great update, Cam.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (1935 - )
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby cooper » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:16 pm

So…get to know each other first…then the hot monkey sex. I see…sort of the opposite of how we did it, huh?”


Hee Hee. This story just gets better and better.

“No more tug-of-Willow!”

And this line was simply brilliant!

I can't wait for more

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby Anastacia_Beaverhousen80 » Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:31 am

I am soooooooo enjoying this story! The idea of them all, well u know, is very yummy but I cant wait to see what's gonna happen next ;)
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby watty » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:48 am

Carleen is NOT the boss of you!

Oh well, you see *stares shamefully at the floor* she is. Cos she takes good care of me, even hires babysitters while she's away :lol.

respectfully point out that you are fully as crazy as I am.

Let me ask my fellow Insano Triplets if there's enough room for you -- I think we can make room, whaddaya say, Triplets? Are we now Quads?

Onto the update. What fun :bounce ! Hilarious! Actually PST had a decent plan going, except for Slayer hearing, she might have pulled it off successfully. Still, the idea of VW in
maroon pants, orange sneakers, and a long sleeve t-shirt that seemed to have been run through the wash with a birthday cake.

is so outrageous, no wonder she shuddered and paled.

PST is becoming quite assertive, what with demanding that ST not have sex with her Willow in any way. She should thank ST though, since without further goading questioning, the obvious attraction between PST and RGW will not be so forced out to the open :). So let's say hurray for SlayerTara, matchmaker supreme!

So next part, where ST is pretending to be PST doing the dirty with VW, while the real PST get it on with RGW. Each with their own, right. That will be *very very very* interesting. You make sure you don't make us wait too long, otherwise I'll hog all of my Mistress' time so she doesn't have time for you, so there *sticks tongue out* :P. [Oh wait, if Car is too tied up with me, she doesn't have time to beta, hence no Dopey. oookkay, priorities, priorities :fit2 . I give up.]

Thanks for the fun, Bud.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby potential_angel » Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:12 pm

Wow Cam, you continue to amaze me, i so definitely didnt see slayer tara being nice in the end, but wooo!!! shy tara and rgw on a date, Yay!!! woo hoo but wheres the smut, i need my dosage of smut. I would welcome the nice lesbian eating right about now, hehe but the storys really good so continue with the great writing.

mel
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby meretricious » Mon Jun 06, 2005 7:16 pm

cam, i'm your idol? cool-but really i wanna be like you when i grow up. ( and not like, american idol, right? cause me, singing? badness)
anyway, another awesome update.really like that all of slayer tara's agressiveness was just slayery matchmaking, really. and pst's plan? kinda lame for sure but points for effort. and in a fic chock full of quotable lines, "tug-of-willow" is just the most classic line i've seen in forever. so so perfect. wonder if once st pulls her prince and the pauper act here if the other 2 will be sent offstage, spend some time planning that date without all the embarassing enuendo flying around while st teaches her uppity vamp a lesson. can't wait for more cam.
and carleen wheedeled her way into a beta gig just for the early fic reading didn't she? smart car. ~mary
you toyed with my heart like it was a toy heart ~ lisa simpson
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby kisstheviolets » Mon Jun 06, 2005 8:00 pm

“I brought her here to teach her a lesson, not dust her! She seems to have forgotten who the Mistress is here. Even the scales, my ass.”


way to go, slayer tara - show your vw who's boss! i can't WAIT for the slayer tayer in shy tara's clothing scene. woohoo. of course, i may just have to imagine the whole thing.

i'm with mary, the "tug o' willow" was hilarious. but what kind of woman would complain about being fought over by TWO tara's?? crazy, crazy willow. oh, and i LOVED the way the asking tara out just sort of happened - and the subsequent spazzing over where said date would occur. too funny.

brandy
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby watersong84 » Mon Jun 06, 2005 9:33 pm

Wow... That was pretty great. It's funny how this sort of dire situation is actually helping the Willow and Tara of this reality to get together A LOT faster than they probably would have... I guess some things work out for the best.

General Custer here’s brilliant strategy gave me a better idea, though. I’m going to need some of your clothes, Tara.


AAHHH! HAHA! I quite like slayer Tara. This should be interesting...

-Alyssa
"I'm gonna do my best swan dive into shark-infested waters/ I'm gonna pull out my tampon and start splashing around/ 'Cause I don't care if they eat me alive/ I've got better things to do than survive/ I've got a memory of your warm skin in my hands/ And I've got a vision of blue sky and dry land" - Ani Difranco
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby VixenyTarasHot » Mon Jun 06, 2005 10:10 pm

This story is so freaking kickass! I adore the dialogue and the idea of sexy slayer Tara.. and Willow and her hookin up.. too hot dude!

It's effin hilarious and a good distraction from.. well.. everything!

Can't wait to read more :D
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby JustSkipIt » Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:10 am

:rofl How great. Slayer Tara had a plan all along. This fic is so great, Cam, and getting even better. How about some nice NC-17 action in the next update? Gee, I don't know if W/T can watch W/T from the closet according to Kitten rules. Probably borderline but that's ok, we can watch. Well done.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby pipsberg » Tue Jun 07, 2005 6:41 am

Cam,

Dude, your Slayer Tara is kind of sick in the head... I like that. Great update, again! I am really enjoying your regular posts (no, I DON'T feel guilty) of all your stories. It's much appreciated. Keep 'em coming.
-pipsberg

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby sam7777 » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:26 pm

I like the way Slayer Tara and Tara are going to switch. Vamp Willow is just hilarious in a sexy and disturbing way. I'm glad she's back from the dust bin. Tara's had a shocking introduction to Willow but the encounter may provide useful ideas for later. ;-) This is really a sexy comedy of errors.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby wimpy0729 » Tue Jun 07, 2005 8:36 pm

Holy shit Cam!

I was so glad you updated, but next time warn me and I'll put on my Depends. I was laughing so hard I almost suffered a bout of urinary incontinence. In other words, I almost peed my pants.

I really love how Slayer Tara's mind works. Yes, she must show her kitten who wears the pants in the relationship, or the latest in Mistress wear as it were. Ooh, naughty visuals...okay I'm back.

Hehe, poor Willow being fought over by two Taras. I think I had a dream like that once, but that's a story for another time.

I can't wait to see what is about to transpire, so I will stay tuned to see what your wicked mind has in store. :-D

More soon please!

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby sarejester » Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:01 am

LOVE IT!!
absoloutly positivly rutting love it,

I LOVE sexy slayer Tara,
My god! the posibilities,

so i sit, and i drool,
patiently waiting to see what you have in store,

go. you.
I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know..
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I'm Cam, and I'm a slacker

Postby tarawhipped » Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:04 pm

Sorry to anyone who thought this might be an update. I really did have every intention of finishing this before I left for vacation, but that just ain't gonna happen. I would like to go ahead and reply to feedback, so that when I get back (hopefully with the last two chapters of this and a bunch of updates for other stuff) I can get right to posting. See y'all on the 18th!

hermitfish: Thank you Cyd! Yeah, RGW & PST are coping awfully well, aren't they? Maybe they're in shock. I was afraid I might have made ST a little too Anya-esque here, but figured it was pretty clear from the first series that she's a 'see what you want and go get it' kind of girl, and she really wanted RGW to get her Tara. I hope ST's new plan lives up to expectations, and sorry you're going to have to wait a while to see it, but I can't wait to get home from vacay and see all those Relinquished Symmetry updates! :-D [br]
Naeryn:
Vamp Willow's in for a bit of a surprise...
Oh, you have NO idea! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA :devil Sorry I'm wussing out on getting it done before I take off, but hopefully it'll be better for the wait. Thanks, Megan![br]
TemperedCynic: Ah, but they didn't really admit that they found the other hot, Mike! They both simply refused to concede that they did not NOT find the other hot! Uhhhh....anyhoo....lmao r.e. ST and her control issues.
I'm gonna be VERY interested to see how ST messes with her VW's hormones and mind
:-D I've got it all planned out, just not written, but I think it'll please. Thank you![br]
cooper: Thanks, cooper, it's always cool to see what lines people pick out as funny, cause I'm not always sure what'll work when I write them. The responses to orange to the head gag last time surprised the hell out of me, and this time it was the "tug-of-Willow," which I thought was a funny IMAGE, but not necessarily a good LINE, so I got a kick out of you (and Mary) singling it out.[br]
Anastacia_Beaverhousen80: Thanks so much...I'm glad you like it, and hopefully you can wait a week or so for the next part, since I'll be computerless til then. *gulp*[br]
watson:
Let me ask my fellow Insano Triplets if there's enough room for you
Are we talking about a club or an asylum here? ;-) You are right about PST...she isn't taking crap from anyone, especially herself! I'm glad ST's matchmaking was a hit...I thought it tied in nicely with her remarks at the end of the first series, and gave her a reason to want to travel through dimensions besides just putting VW in her place. Sorry I'm not gonna get the next bit out til I get back, especially after you were SO lovely to update The Amazing Kitten Race, but finishing this one is my top priority while on vacation. Well, right after getting lots of sleep....and sightseeing....and hanging out people-watching....and riding on trolley cars. But it's right after those. :-D [br]
potential_angel: LOL...of course ST is nice! She IS still Tara! I can confirm with 100% certainty that smut will be appearing in the next update...but the next update will not be appearing until the 18th. Thanks Mel![br]
meretricious: Thanks Mary...I tried to come up with the lamest plan possible from a Scooby standpoint, but for someone who hasn't been fighting evil since sophomore year of H.S., "run away" sounds pretty reasonable. Glad you liked the "tug-of-Willow" line...as I told cooper, I wasn't sure about it, but liked the image so much I had to use it, and love that it turned out to be a hit! And hey! No picking on my beta! :lol [br]
kisstheviolets: Feel free to imagine the ST impersonating PST with VW scene, Brandy, cause it won't be up for a bit. Hopefully it'll be worth the wait. Glad you liked how Willow ended up asking Tara out...that was a last minute addition I didn't plan to use, but am glad I did. Thanks![br]
watersong84: Yes, ST and her matchmaking definitely moved things along. At the rate RGW was going before the Dopeygayland Duo turned up, she'd have ended up with a restraining order instead of tara's number. But as you said "I guess some things work out for the best." Thanks, Alyssa![br]
VixenyTarasHot: Thanks, Ashleigh! I really started this whole thing cause I liked the idea of Tara as a sexy, badass Slayer (having read several serious ST fics elsewhere). It's a good distraction for me as well, and hopefully I'll be able to finish it next week on vacation.[br]
JustSkipIt: Hi Debra! Now you understand why I couldn't say more about ST seeming evil...she simply had a naughty plan of her own. There will most definitely be some NC-17 action in the next one (and that's an interesting suggestion...hmmm), which I'll be posting as soon as I get back from vacation. Thank you![br]
pipsberg:
Dude, your Slayer Tara is kinda sick in the head...I like that.
Dude....you likes the crazy chicks, huh? Very interesting. Thanks for the support, buddy, and we'll see if this whole air travel = updates works for me as well as it did for you. :peace [br]
sam7777: Thank you so much...I love the description "a sexy comedy of errors." Yes, I couldn't let ST's VW really be dusted...not as soon as I realized a sequel was in order anyway! The next update will have the ST as PST and VW in RGW's bad outfit scene, which will hopefully be chock full o' chuckles.[br]
wimpy0729: LMAO Pam...oh, I'm glad you liked it! I think the next one will be even more pleasing to a smut bunny such as yourself, but you'll have to wait til I get back from vacay. Just amuse yourself with naughty visuals in the meantime.[br]
sarejester: Thank you! Please accept this official "I went to Dopeygayland and all I got was this Drool Bucket" drool bucket. I appreciate the patient waiting, cause I got lazy and didn't finish this, and now I'm about to leave for 9 days, so the next part won't be up til the 18th. See you then![br][br][br]
Last edited by tarawhipped on Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby sarejester » Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:53 pm

Please accept this official "I went to Dopeygayland and all I got was this Drool Bucket" drool bucket

I fully acsept your drool bucket,
I now proclaim myself president of the Dopeygayland drool bucket society (if one such society has allready been instigated, let me know, and ill join)

go on....
join the dark side.....(we have cookies)

now to watch the clock, 11:51....
11:52...
it wont take THAT long to reach the 18th will it?

( i now have selma blair stuck in my head doing her secret society dance ':dance' of cruel intentions.....i could think of worse things... mmmm selma)[blockquote][/blockquote][/quote]
Last edited by sarejester on Thu Jun 09, 2005 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby ringwaldoeuvre » Thu Jun 09, 2005 9:02 pm

Very clever. You keep things light, yet leave the reader wanting more with an undercurrent of humor and sexual tension. I look foward to seeing how Vamp Willow will deal with being pink and fuzzy. Well done, Cam.

~Mary
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby willowtree114 » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:06 am

OMG..i love this storie, i just wish the 18th would hurry up and get here so i can find out what ST dose to VW,.
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby stillrunning » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:25 am

Oy this just keeps getting better and better. I'm going to have to diagram out who's who with who and all that...because I'm confusing myself a lot...but still. AWESOME JOB!!
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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby GayNow » Mon Jun 13, 2005 8:11 pm

Yeah yeah yeah...so I'm late to the party...BUT...I got to read it before it was posted...so, in a way, I was early. :lol

Another great update, Cam. I love how you make writing comedy seem so effortless -- I'm all jealous!

ST certainly has some fun plans for VW up her sleeve. And, YAY for ST getting RGW and PST (who may not be quite as PS as we thought) to acknowledge their attraction for each other -- even if it is through the green eyed monster of jealousy (not to be confused, of course, with the green eyed red, cuz that's something completely different). And, YAY too for RGW and NQPST for having their cute "wanna go on a date" moment. AAAWWWWWW!!!

So, now we are all going to patiently (*cough*) wait for you to come back from vacation with ALL KINDS of update-y goodness for us. :D

YAY, CAM!!

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Re: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland (UPDATED 6/5/05)

Postby terra21 » Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:49 pm

Oh Cam, you write humor with such ease. I wish it were second nature for me, but it's not. I'm over it. So the follies continue in Dopeygayland, I love it. It's great to read something and just not care it there are deep underlying meanings. Is that what they call fluff? Gotta go look that up.

I loves me some passive/possessive Tara:
“If you think I’m going to leave my room so that you can screw around in my bed, you’re insane!”


And I love me some protective Willow as well:
“It’s okay. I won’t let her touch you.”


Now is it time to say..."bring on the SMUT."
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feedback replies

Postby tarawhipped » Sun Jun 19, 2005 5:33 pm

A few more feedback responses, then an update. Thanks for reading!

sarejester: I think it's safe to assume that there is no other drool bucket society...probably anywhere. :p Thanks for the enthusiam, and can I get one of those cookies?[br]
ringwaldoeuvre: Thank you, Mary. VW will not exactly be pink and fuzzy, but if the other vampires saw her, they would no doubt point and laugh. I think this next one is the longest chapter yet, but there is a nasty cliffhanger, in keeping with my wanting you all to want more. Cheers![br]
willowtree114: Thank you so much, and I apologize for taking an extra day to get this posted...my brain was fried from travelling.[br]
stillrunning: lol...when you finish your diagram, could you send a copy to me? I keep confusing myself! Thanks for the comments, and more up in a jiffy.[br]
GayNow:
you make writing comedy seem so effortless
Thank you, Carleen...that means a lot, cause I swear I can't even tell a joke properly. Your help has been a big boost to my ego and confidence in continuing this story, since I had "SEQUELS ALWAYS SUCK!!!" churning through my head for much of the start of this (not that it's even true in fanfic...look at JustSkipIt's Paths Diverged/Divulged.

Having said all that nice stuff...dude, you're confusing the hell out of me! NQPST??? *bangs head into wall* Thanks for patiently waiting, and for your help, as always. :) [br]
terra21: Thanks, terra, but it's actually grueling hard work to be as damn funny as I am. :lol Seriously, as I told Car, I can't even tell jokes...either I forget how they go, or I crack myself up halfway through and start cry/laughing and get looked at like I'm mentally challenged. I'm glad you're enjoying the fluff, and no, there are NO deep underlying meanings in here...total frivolity is my goal.
Now is it time to say..."bring on the SMUT."
Your wish is my command![br][br]
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The Chronicles of Dopeygayland

Postby tarawhipped » Sun Jun 19, 2005 5:42 pm

Title: The Chronicles of Dopeygayland
Author: tarawhipped (Cameron)
Email: tarawhipped@hotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy
Feedback: If you know what’s good for you, you will. :glasses
Distribution: Sure, just tell me where so I can visit!
Thanks to my beta, Carleen, for making me feel even more smart and funny than I already thought I was. :p
Notes: Thoughts in italics[br][br][br]
Dopeygayland Spanks Back, Part 7: Educational AND Fun![br][br]
Buffy breathed a sigh of relief upon entering her dorm room and realizing Willow was there.[br]
“Willow, thank god you’re…naked,” the blonde stared open-mouthed at the redhead striding out of the closet with an assortment of colorful shirts and not the slightest hint of embarrassment.[br]
“Gee, Buff, didn’t know you liked me that way.”[br]
“What? NO! Not that there’s anything…we’ve got a problem, Will,” she stated at last, turning away from the uncharacteristic display of Willow-skin and launching straight into action mode. When the redhead did not respond, Buffy chanced a quick glance and was relieved to see her roommate clad in one of her typically cutesy t-shirts. There was still a disturbing lack of pants, however, which Willow seemed in no rush to amend as she casually perused her options. Buffy averted her gaze again, her eyes coming to rest on a pile of leather lying across her roommate’s bed.[br]
“What’s with the costume, Will?”[br]
The redhead continued to rummage through the closet until she found an appropriately clashing pair of lime green jeans to offset the bright purple shirt with a yellow comet across the chest. She pulled them on and turned to face the blonde.[br]
“Tara’s idea,” she explained, stuffing her leather pants into a plastic grocery bag and slinging it over her shoulder.[br]
“Uh-huh,” Buffy answered distractedly. When did Willow stop wearing underwear? The Slayer shook her perfectly coiffed head. “So you talked to her? What’s she like? Did you tell her anything yet? Are you going out?”[br]
“Can’t talk…gotta go,” the redhead answered, heading for the door.[br]
“Will, wait!”[br]
“Bored now…wanna do Tara.”[br]
“Wanna what, huh?”[br]
The redhead let out an exasperated sigh. “I just came by for clothes…Tara wanted me to change before she’d fuck me.”[br]
“You just met and you’re already playing naughty dress-up?”[br]
Willow reached for the doorknob, but Buffy grabbed her friend’s arm.[br]
“Get off me!” the redhead snarled, morphing into vamp face. Buffy recoiled in shock, allowing Willow to disappear down the hallway as despair wracked the Slayer’s small frame.[br]
“Willow’s a vampire,” she choked at last, her hazel eyes narrowing dangerously as she realized what must have happened. I knew that ‘shy girl’ act was a trick! She must have seduced poor Willow and turned her. Oh, I am so going to put a stake in her![br][br][br][br]
“Here you go,” Tara handed her twin one of her skirts and peasant blouses. The Slayer held the skirt an arm’s length and eyed it suspiciously. [br]
“Isn’t this…flowery. Say, you wouldn’t happen to have any granola, would you?”[br]
“Oh, um, sure…in the container on top of the fridge. Help yourself.”[br]
The Slayer smirked and winked at Willow, who rolled her eyes in response.[br]
“We should go so you can…strip right in front of us,” the redhead’s eyes widened for an instant and she hastily turned around, grinning apologetically at Tara, who raised a disapproving eyebrow and crossed her arms. The two moved toward the door, but the sound of approaching footsteps stopping just on the other side of the barrier froze them in place. The half dressed Slayer grabbed each by an arm and began shoving them into the closet.[br]
“Hey!” Willow hissed. “We’re not gonna stay here and listen to you two!”[br]
“You have a better idea?” the Slayer challenged.[br]
“Um…I do live on the first floor,” Tara whispered, pointing at the window.[br]
“Kiiiiitten,” a soft voice sang from the other side of the door.[br]
“J-j-just a m-m-m-minute,” the Slayer called out, shrugging her shoulders at Tara’s glare.[br]
Willow eased the window open and climbed out, then assisted Tara in her descent.[br]
“Give us at least an hour,” the Slayer uttered quickly before sliding the window shut.[br]
“So,” Willow stated, swinging her arms by her sides. “Coffee?”[br][br][br][br]
Tara threw on her shirt and took a deep breath before reaching for the doorknob. No laughing…no laughing…no laughing, she chanted to herself as she opened the door…and bit down on her lip painfully to keep from laughing.[br]
“Hey, baby,” the vampire purred, slinking over the threshold and kicking the door shut behind her. Her nostrils flared and her eyes darkened at the almost imperceptible trickle of blood on Tara’s lower lip. “Oh, you bit your lip!”[br]
Tara fought against the urge to give up her masquerade as the redhead softly cradled her face with cool hands and flicked her tongue over the small, already healing cut, leisurely sucking on the pouty lip. Oh god…need to stop this…supposed to be shy and virginal…I can fake that, Tara thought, as her hands ignored her musings and moved of their own accord to Willow’s derriere and pulled the vampire closer. The redhead cooed her appreciation and playfully nipped at the Slayer’s bottom lip.[br]
“No biting!” the blonde reprimanded forcefully, momentarily forgetting her role in her surprise at Willow’s presumption. She hastily stepped back and crossed her arms tightly, bowing her head and letting her hair curtain her face—a move she’d seen her counterpart use at least a dozen times already that afternoon.[br]
“Not even a little bit?” the redhead cajoled innocently, batting her big green eyes. “My Tara always lets me bite her, she says it makes her come harder.”[br]
You lying little bloodsucker! Tara swallowed her guffaw, but not the incredulous stare, which apparently looked enough like simple distress that the horny vampire didn’t sense anything amiss. You are definitely getting punished for that one![br]
“M-m-m-maybe a l-l-little’d be ok-k-kay,” Tara stammered, looking up through her lashes and smiling coquettishly.[br]
Willow recovered from her own shock at Tara’s acceptance with surprising speed, and she roughly embraced the blonde, nuzzling her neck while her hands roamed freely. The Slayer gulped, feeling her heat rise to match her lover’s, and she allowed the grope-fest to continue unchecked for several minutes before whispering in Willow’s ear:[br]
“Not that I don’t trust you, but will you let me tie you up before you bite me?”[br]
The vampire nodded mutely and Tara chuckled to herself, feeling the shudder that ran through the lithe body pressed tightly against her. So easy,she thought, gesturing for Willow to take a seat in the desk chair and retrieving from her bag four brand new leather cuffs bought especially for the trip. The redhead graciously drew her arms back to allow the blonde to cuff her wrists tightly against the vertical slats of the chair, and watched curiously as Tara knelt and secured the vampire’s ankles to the chair legs. The blonde locked their gazes and ran her hands up Willow’s shins and over her knees to her thighs, pushing herself up to stand in front of her captive.[br]
“Comfy?”[br]
The redhead nodded emphatically and grinned ear-to-ear. Tara pursed her lips and shook her head slowly, placed one bare foot on the chair seat between Willow’s legs and leaned a toned forearm on her bent knee. The vampire’s grin faltered a fraction, and she blinked.[br]
“I asked you a question, Kitten,” the Slayer stated evenly, pleased to see recognition dawning on Willow’s face. “Are. You. Comfortable?”[br]
The Slayer slid her foot forward on the wooden seat until her toes curled against her lover’s center, raising her eyebrows appreciatively at the copious moisture seeping through the redhead’s pants. The blonde watched as Willow’s eyes closed and her head fell back, but waited until the vampire’s hips took a tentative rock before pushing herself away from the chair, ignoring the slight groan as she retrieved another item from her bag.[br]
“Taaarrra!” Willow whined pitifully, pulling weakly at her restraints before giving up with a heaving slouch, her eyes watering and her lower lip quivering, knowing she’d been had.[br]
“Perhaps I’ve been a bad Mistress,” Tara began, walking casually around her prisoner and laying a book on the desk, out of Willow’s line of sight, but within reach. “Letting you eat Cordelia, having you top me…I thought given the uniqueness of our situation, an unorthodox relationship would benefit us both, but you continue to test me, always wanting more. What am I going to do with such an insubordinate pet?”[br]
“But Mistress—”[br]
“And now you’re speaking without permission,” Tara tsked. “I think we need to address that first.”[br]
The Slayer stopped pacing and reached under her skirt, raising the hem on the sides to mid thigh as she hooked her thumbs over the waistband of her underwear and slowly pulled them down, one side of her mouth quirking into a grin as she watched Willow’s eyes follow her striptease. Well, tease anyway…for now, she mused, stepping out of the panties and stuffing them in Willow’s gawking mouth. She hiked her skirt back up and straddled her lover’s lap, savoring the needy whimper when she reached for her book and her breasts smushed against her captive’s stuffed mouth. She sat back comfortably and opened the thick tome.[br]
“Embracing the Sub Within,” she read aloud. “Chapter One: Keeping Your Damn Mouth Shut.”[br][br][br][br]
Across campus, Willow and Tara meandered in the general direction of the Espresso Pump.[br]
“Do you like cats?”[br]
“I’m more of a dog person myself, but I’m not like ‘death to all cats!’ Why?”[br]
“Just trying to make normal conversation,” Tara shrugged.[br]
“Pfft—normal…what is normal, anyway?” Willow nervously waved her hands.[br]
“Well, I’m pretty sure that finding out that the cute redhead you’ve been noticing actually slept with another you in an alternate dimension where she’s a superhero and her girlfriend’s a vampire qualifies as the complete opposite of normal.”[br]
“You think I’m cute?” Willow asked with a happy grin, stopping to look at Tara, who dropped her head and nodded shyly. “And you’ve seen me around?”[br]
Again the blonde nodded, not trusting her voice as her heart pounded wildly in her ears.[br]
“I’ve been looking for you for months,” Willow spoke, slightly awed. Her brow furrowed when Tara shook her head sadly.[br]
“N-not me. You were looking for her. I’m n-not her, Willow.”[br]
“Hey,” Willow soothed, lifting Tara’s chin to gaze reverently into watery blue pools. “I don’t want you to be her. Slayers are all aggressive danger girls, and yeah, it’s kind of a turn on, but they’d make lousy girlfriends. It’d be like ‘hi honey, you wanna go to a movie? Oh, you have to save the world? Ok, I’ll just be here singing, lalala.’ Or not me, cause you know, singing,” Willow shuddered, “but…I like you, Tara, and I know we just met, but I’d like to get to know this you better. Okay?”[br]
“Oh yes,” Tara breathed.[br]
Willow smiled brightly. I’m in heaven![br][br][br][br]
Willow was in hell. What had begun as slight shifting had turned to rhythmic rubbing until Tara was now vigorously thrusting against the vampire’s lap, never ceasing in her reading. Her ego sorely bruised, the redhead hadn’t any intention of paying attention to her Mistress’ lessons, but she found that only by listening to the Slayer’s voice could she quell the frustration of seeing and smelling her lover’s growing arousal.[br]
“Chapter Four,” the blonde continued, transferring the book to one hand to allow the other to stroke her dripping pussy. “Your Mistress Comes First—Figuratively and Literally.”[br][br][br][br]
“Since Sunnydale doesn’t offer an occult studies degree, I’m still leaning towards computer science. How about you?”[br]
“I always thought I’d be a veterinarian, but now I’m thinking about massage therapy.”[br]
“Really?” Willow squeaked. “Well, if you need to practice on anyone, I’d be happy to offer my services…for strictly educational purposes, of course.”[br]
“Oh, of course,” Tara replied seriously. Both girls burst out in a fit of giddy giggles, leaning into one another as they walked side by side, their arms occasionally brushing. Willow took one such opportunity to lace their hands together, and they sighed in unison.[br]
“Not that educational can’t also be fun,” Willow added with a saucy smile.[br][br][br][br]
Tara tossed the book aside midway through Chapter Five: Clits Melt in Your Mouth, Especially if Your Hands are Tied, and grabbed the chair back with both hands, grinding herself against Willow’s lap and rocking the chair back and forth with increasing vigor until it tilted precariously, teetered for a moment, then slammed onto the floor in a thunderous crack of wood. The force propelled Tara forward and she landed squarely on her pet’s face. The vampire didn’t move a muscle until Tara breathlessly called out her name, then eagerly set to work fulfilling her Mistress’ demand to “suck! Oh…Kitten!…Fuck yes!” or something to that effect. Willow ached to feel Tara’s skin under her hands, freed since the splintering of the chair in the fall, but forced herself to keep them flat on the floor, allowing only her busy lips and questing tongue to move freely. Tara came with a shuddering scream, breathing erratically as she climbed off of Willow and righted the chair with the vampire still bound at the ankles. Smiling at her lover’s submissively bowed head and demurely folded hands, Tara again slid sideways onto one of her lover’s thighs and took a cuffed hand in her own, raising the cool digits to her mouth to kiss each fingertip.[br]
“Such a good Kitten,” she quietly praised, returning the vampire’s hand to her side and letting her own fingers trail down Willow’s torso to her pants. She popped open the button and dragged down the zipper, slipping her hand inside and entering the redhead’s fully primed pussy with two fingers. She thrust slowly, savoring every moan and spasm and drawing out Willow’s rapidly approaching orgasm as much as possible. With her free hand, Tara weaved her fingers into the vampire’s hair and drew her head to her own bared neck.[br]
“Drink,” she commanded, trusting Willow’s instincts to kick in as she brushed a thumb over an engorged clit, feeling sharp teeth puncture her flesh and the vampire’s body convulsing in spasms before snapping taut. Willow’s fangs withdrew and she cried out, tears of overwhelming pleasure streaming down her decidedly rosy cheeks. Tara waited until the redhead had stopped shaking to withdrew her hands, raising them to cup her lover’s cheeks and brush away the moisture. She kissed the vampire sweetly and Willow opened her eyes wide.[br]
“Thank you Mistress,” she whispered.[br][br][br][br]
“Family?”[br]
“P-pass. Yours?”[br]
“Pass. Friends?”[br]
“Um…not many. You?”[br]
“Mostly Xander and…Buffy?” Willow stopped as she saw her best friend running rapidly toward her, stake in hand, poised to strike.[br][br][br]
TBC[br][br]
***Author's note: the interaction between the canon world's W/T in which Tara tells Willow that she can't be Slayer Tara was heavily influenced by a recent rereading of JustSkipIt's Paths Diverged/Divulged. I seem to be cribbing from Debra a lot these days, but hey, she's Elvis!
"I hate fairies! They're like little slutty bug monsters!" -- Angela
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tarawhipped
9. Gay Now
 
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