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Well I know it has been a while since I have posted on here, so I thought I would post this ngsty little two shot.
Please please please don't kill me...
DISCLAIER - I do not own BtVS, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and anyone else who can claim ownership. Pointless to sue me, I don't have money. You would get nothing.
Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.
How many times, as a child, had I repeated that little rhyme? I mean, it doesn’t really mean anything at all does it? Because I know words can hurt. I know full well that words can hurt. There are five words that have killed me repeatedly, but to tell you them, would be to start at the end, and doing that would not help you understand, so I will start at the beginning.
She caught my attention from the first moment I saw her, it was just something, I wasn’t sure what, but something about her intrigued me. It couldn’t have been the way she carried herself, because she carried herself like so many others, and she didn’t even look at me, so it couldn’t have been her eyes either. So to this day I do not know what it was that initially drew me to her, but there was something, so I listened to it. I followed her to the canteen, keeping my distance, but watching her. She seemed sad, almost melancholy in her existence. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know what had put such a look of pain on this girls face.
I became so lost within my own thoughts of her, that I didn’t notice until it was too late, that I had bumped into her, spilling my cheap soda over her. I blushed and apologised immediately, but she waved it away with a sad smile, explaining that her life at the moment just seemed to be ruled by Murphy’s law. I gave her a shy smile, and offered to take her out for coffee to apologise. I don’t know why I asked and I don’t know why she said what she said, but she agreed.
Coffee led to dinner pretty quickly, and after dinner, we shared our first kiss. She stuttered as she backed away, before smiling at me. She confided in me that that had been the first time she had kissed a girl. I told her that it was the first time I had kissed a girl as well, so she didn’t have to worry, and she shot me another smile, making something inside me flutter.
She started to spend every spare moment with me not long after that. She stayed in my room and I in hers, just curling up together to sleep, both of us enjoying the closeness.
It was a month before we did anything truly physical, and it was worth the wait. She was slow and tender and loving, all the things I had hoped for from getting to know her, and I hoped beyond hope that I had been able to replicate at least some of the feelings she had made me feel.
It was a week after that that I finally gathered my courage and told her I loved her. She told me she felt the same and I had a huge grin plastered on my face for the rest of the day, possibly the rest of the week.
We were happy for a long while after that, she proved to me time and time again that she loved me, and as we moved in together, sharing a dorm room, and we came out to the rest of the world. We dealt with everything together, the homophobia, the work, stresses of everyday life, illnesses, deadlines, lack of employment. Everything.
Then it happened. I don’t know what started it, but she began to pull away from me. The ‘I Love Yous’ became less and less, and she no longer tried on the physical side of things either. And then came the words. Those five fatal words that have torn me to pieces.
“I’m sorry Tara. It’s over.”
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words said by Willow can tear me apart.
TO BE COTINUED...
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Gummibears, Gummibears. Eat us! Eat us! Eat us!
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