Things that make you go hmmm? The general humor thread.

[kisstheviolets]

words cannot describe the hilarity that is this video:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74

[umgaynow]

Finally, scientists have found the true cause of homosexuality...

Think about this...Dick Cheney has a gay daughter...Newt Gingrich has a gay sister and Phyllis Schlafley has a gay son...isn't it obvious? Homosexuality is caused by right-wing conservatism!!

We must spread the word!!

All the homophobic christian fundamentalist hard-line republicans will be horrified and become liberals and then...WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!

[Willowtree252]

ok this video cracks me up I hope you too this is nuts


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEL9CARmb0g

[betsy O'shea]

Ok---a riddle.

What do older women have between their breasts that younger women don't?


Answer: Their belly buttons.

[dlline]

My girlfriend just sent me this, and it totally cracked me up.

The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.

[JustSkipIt]

Hysterical!

[Yours]

This vid made me laugh my ass off! THe best bit is when the cat jumps a mile!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XzCcRzEa83U&feature=related

[Zooeys_Bridge]

Even though it's like two years old...http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5605084956510728537&q=SNL+Natalie+Portman+rap&total=114&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

[dlline]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational (2008) once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word.

Intaxication – Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation – Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.) – The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.) – The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti – Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm – The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte – To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis – Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis – A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon – It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.) – The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido – All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect – The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.) – The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.) – Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.) – The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the #1 pick: Ignoranus – A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

[Paint the Sky]

And the #1 pick: Ignoranus – A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Methinks I'll be using that one quite alot.

Exceptionally clever, and definations that made me laugh out loud.

[gabbles]

I needed a joke today. Badly. So my friend told me this one:

Three old ladies are sitting at a bench. A big tall man walks up with a trench coat on, opens it, revealing himself to the ladies.

Two of the had a stroke, but the third one couldn't reach.






Kind of lame, but I needed the smile

[Yours]

This video brings me untold joy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSK1D3bZhRs

[Kessari]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWd4lqIhz6I

Probably the funniest thing I've ever seen! I watch it every single day and it just doesn't get old...


BANANA!!!

[Ariel]

Hi, introduction to a guilty pleasure: YouTube's Funny Boating Accidents

I know I'd feel differently if I was actually there but as someone who watched The Love Boat the combination of lyrics and shots just slays me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXP5K2omQBE

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother

[Adsum]

The Vicar of Dibley:

End jokes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AyrPh_zStI

Three Nuns in Heaven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV30XeEjf58

The Handsome Stranger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcRj1K7o53E

[Ariel]

Hey! Kudos on the Vicar of Dibley - LOVED that show!

An old joke, but some backstory first. I do historical theatre, so I am often to be found in 110 degree heat wearing a leather bodice, two skirts, a shift underneath and a hat on my head plus a belt with a variety of exciting objects hanging off it. In my 1800's show change that to bloomers, corsets, petticoats, and hoops! So I am often incredibly uncomfortable and we crazy actors often ask ourselves why we put up with this crazy bullshit. Here is the joke that explains it:

An onlooker is standing on the curb watching the circus parade of elephants go by. He sees the man with a broom, following the elephants, sweeping up the enormous quantities of elephant poop. The poor sweeper is cursing a blue streak, "Goddam fucking, stinking elephants! Breaking my back cleaning up this goddam shit!"

The bystander listens to the tirade and asks, "Well, why don't you quit?"

And the poop sweeper looks incredulously at him and says, "And give up Show Business?"

So when anyone asks me why I do the various lunacies I indulge in I answer, "And give up show business?" Then I snort and laugh and they back away slowly and leave me alone.

Thank you for listening, it's great to share and the KB is cheaper than therapy and a lot more interesting!

Ariel
How I Met Your Mother