A Plea, of Sorts

[esther_greenwood]

Does clinical depression ever go away? I have been struggling with this in one form or another for what feels like forever. It's like I am trapped in my own life, afraid to do anything and afraid to be alone. Every day is a struggle, and I feel like I am doomed to lose. Sorry for the moan, I just wondered if anyone else has been/is in a similar situation. Is it true what they say? Does it really get better?

[BeMyDeputy]

It does get better. It usually takes time and work, but it really does get better.

And I have been there: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder over ten years ago (and I'd been showing symptoms years before I was diagnosed). It runs in my family, and I've watched a lot of people I love deal with depression. It's scary, and it can feel like it will never end. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

For me, and most people I know, it took getting professional help to get out of the sort of long-term depression you're talking about. I was in therapy for about a year, and still need medication. But it was worth it: my psychiatrist says that I'm asymptomatic with medication, and I'm living a mostly normal adult life. I'm still bipolar, but it doesn't interrupt my daily life anymore. And I have friends and family in similar situations.

To address your first question, does clinical depression ever go away, it's complicated. The depression itself will lift. But, depending on the type of depression you have, you may always have the illness clinical depression. But that doesn't mean you'll always feel depressed.

I'm always happy to talk about my experiences, so feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Cheers,
Kate

[Laragh]

I'm also bipolar; been diagnosed 8 years and symptomatic since I was a young child.

Slightly different to Kate in that I'm not asymptomatic with medication - every day could be a good or a bad day, relating to mood, anxiety etc and it's a balancing act. But, and it's a big but, you adjust and you manage and even if you spend every day balancing the symptoms of your illness, you cope and you learn to know yourself. You can be happy while still managing it. I am in such an infinitely better place than I was 8 years ago.

I also know many people who have come out the other side of clinical depression. It's definitely possible, with the right tools and want. The hardest thing is wanting to get better enough to put the effort in - it can seem like an impossible thought when even imagining getting out of bed fills you with dread. There's no magical answer to this other than to take baby steps, and to take it day by day. Therapy can be physically and emotionally exhausting and you have to hang in there, even if at times you're just dangling by a finger.

The answer to your question is that it can and does get better. But not on it's own. And not with no support. It's okay to lean on people. It's okay to have a bad day - it's not your fault. One bad day, or two bad days or twenty bad days doesn't mean a good day and a good life aren't on the horizon. It is a fight - but it can be won.

I hope you have or can get the support you need. Best of luck with all of it.

If you're feeling in crisis, please contact someone http://www.befrienders.org/

[drlloyd11]

I've been fortunate that Pharmaceutical's are very effective on me. I started taking them in August of 96, and by October they kicked in.
I will *never* forget how I felt that month. It was pure and uncut joy. More than that, it was freedom. To not have this specter hovering over me was
glorious. My one regret then was when this happened was realizing how many years were wasted before in fear.
I tell you this because I want you know sometimes it all comes together, and it's like life starts over
Good luck

[drlloyd11]

I've been fortunate that Pharmaceutical's are very effective on me. I started taking them in August of 96, and by October they kicked in.
I will *never* forget how I felt that month. It was pure and uncut joy. More than that, it was freedom. To not have this specter hovering over me was
glorious. My one regret then was when this happened was realizing how many years were wasted before in fear.
I tell you this because I want you know sometimes it all comes together, and it's like life starts over
Good luck

[Ariel]

Hi Esther, first off - it takes courage to put your stuff out there. I occasionally suffer from anxiety and sometimes get dressed to go to work and can't go. I am grateful that this happens seldom enough that I can still be successful and keep my job. But it's sad and scary. Other people have varying success with different programs; people on the KB are generous about sharing their life experiences. For me, just breaking it down one step at a time often helps. In the meantime, know you are not alone and that there are plenty of folks you can reach out to.