The Questions and (un)-Answers game

[woahnellie]

because they ate too many hot dogs.

why has the day been sooo long?

[littlewicca]

Becasuse is sunday and sundays are always longer.. (i wish)

why do i have to work?

[Boschi]

Check out your manual, page 14:

"Failure to work unit may cause nose to fall off."

Now you wouldn't want that, would you?


Q: Do poplar trees feel popular?

[CrazyTaraWitch]

no, poplar trees are very unopular due to their misspelling.

why are leaves green?

[woahnellie]

beacuse the jolly green giant made them that way. he was the only one tall enough to reach them so he painted them his favorite color.

Why do leaves change color in the fall?

[JujuDeRoussie]

to be painted by artists

why do they fall?

[woahnellie]

to keep the ground warm in the winter.

why is winter cold?

[CrazyTaraWitch]

cause mother nature is a fickle creature.

why is texas so hot?

[littlewicca]

becasue is winter in there

why am I so shy?

[notl33t]

Beautiful people are always shy because they know that everybody wants a piece of them.

Why are Q-tips called Q-tips?

[Boschi]

It's actually a shortening of queue. At the beginning of all things when tasks were assigned to various objects, the job of cleaning ear canals was considered one of the most honorable, most marvelous, most glorious of all tasks. This may have had something to do with the electric mixer blades (who are very clever) pulling a bit of a Tom Sawyer and raving for weeks before the assignments about the wonders of ear wax.

"Oh!" sighed the mixer blades forlornly, "How I hope I'll be assigned ear wax removal. I can't imagine a better job. Ear wax is just the most wonderful stuff and ears are so cozy and welcoming."

So all the other objects, who thought quite a lot of the mixer blades, began talking among themselves. It was the spatula and toenail clippers who eventually pointed out to the others that despite the mixers talents and the regard they were held in by all, there were certain physical limitations to consider in objects which clean ears, namely that they be able to fit into them.

Now the wiley (yet easily influenced) "swab on a stick" had in fact already figured this out, and was waiting calmly at the front of the line when all the other objects stampeded the ear cleaning line after realizing that the mixers were not a shu-in.

From then on the swab was known as the queue tip, or Q-tip for short.

As for the mixer blades, without competition from the other, ear wax crazed objects, they were matched to precisely the task they had hoped for all along - bathing and dancing in mashed potatoes.

I don't think I need to point out that Q-tips and mixer blades have not been on the best of terms since then.

Q: Why is "phallic" so often used as a descriptive term, while terms referencing the female genitalia are not?

[gorn]

A: There was a big backhoe digging a trench alongside my yard the other day; one might say this trench was distinctly anti-phallic. Vaginallic, if you will. Same could be said of a cave or a tunnel, though the last cave I was in was full of bats, and the last tunnel I saw was full of traffic (make of that what you will).

Q: What is the capital of Assyria?


btw, gotta love Boschi's post, "bathing and dancing in mashed potatoes!" I think that deserves some Boschi Bucks (tm), but I've only got 10. Anyone else out there got some, wanna chip in 5?

[woahnellie]

Uranus

why do we get hungry?

[umgaynow]

A: Do you realize how many people are employed by the snack food industry??

Q: Since tomorrow is July 4th and there's all that fireworks nonsense going on...what's so bloody grand about a Grand Finale?

[gorn]

A: It's Grand!

Q: Is D minor really the saddest of all keys?


(about those Boschi-Bucks above ... upon reading the fine print, I discovered they are non-transferable)

[ellbogen]

No, I've always felt that B-flat was very sad...

Has anyone ever seen a live armadillo, as opposed to road-kill ones?

[CrazyTaraWitch]

yes, i've seen one in a zoo, but it seemed sad

why were zoos invented?

[Sapphire eyes]

Zoo's were invented to let the animals escape the more hornier animals and yo stop the bitchyness taht occours in the wild between the creatures and also to give humans something to do and to portray nature as an artform but when really the animals are all mocking us and plotting to get out
Why do older men smell of mint?

[Boschi]

Mint thrives in shady conditions, with a rich collection of deteriorated organic material. Sounds like old men to me.

Q: Who was that masked man?!

[Sapphire eyes]

That masked man was my brother because he is still in shane of the time that when he was 13 he dyed his hair and wanted to go blonde but it went ginger instead. We all thought it would look ok but he hid away for days and now is dealing with the aftermath and has confidence issues hence the mask. lol

Why was there a fallen tree outsite our gate for over a week?

[Boschi]

A: Trees have slow metabolism. They need a bit to recover from a good bender.

Q: Which candidate for the U.S. presidency is most qualified to fill W's shoes?

[gorn]

A: OK, stick with me on this 'cause it might get a bit bumpy. Clinton's middle name was Jefferson, right? And the "W" in W. stands for Walker, I think. Jefferson makes me think of "The Jeffersons," naturally, and Walker makes me think of Jimmie "Dyn-O-Mite" Walker from "Good Times." Based on this analysis, clearly our next president ought to be someone with a middle name like Sanford or Cosby. Whether or not we actually have such a qualified candidate is not my problem - the Election Board ought to look into this.

Q: Why exactly is it Pluto isn't a planet anymore? I missed all that.

[LittleBit]

A. US scientists have known for ages that Pluto wasn't a planet but they had to wait until the right political environment before releasing such information. This was due to the fact they did not want a political and an educational fallout due to the fact that they would have to re-educate everyone on the mnemonic device: "My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas". Unfortunately they are still working on correcting this problem!

Q. Why is the first litter of a female dog usually smaller than subsequent litters?

[gorn]

I am hoping to get a grant from NASA to test my "My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nachos" Hypothesis. $200 million should just about cover my expenses.

A: This is a stupid question. Everybody knows only kitties have litter, not dogs. I've got 2 cats, so I'm always going to the store to buy more litter. I have never seen "dog litter" for sale.

Q: If you make a TV dinner, but you're not actually watching TV (either while you're making it or while you're eating it) ... is it still correct to refer to it as a "TV dinner?"

[dlline]

Well, you have to be exceedingly careful in the preparation of what used to be called a TV dinner. With the advent of cable television, certain things need to be avoided, especially if you have the old-style dinners in the foil pans. These can interfere with satellite reception if you don't have cable, but you can use the satellite dish as a serving vessel. It's great for large servings of pasta and meatballs, as long as you remember to block the hole intended for the wires. Makes a huge mess otherwise.

Q. Originally asked by George Carlin, but I really need to know the answer. If God is all powerful, can he make a rock so big that he himself can't lift it?

[JustSkipIt]

God is so powerful that he could even make a rock so small that he could not lift it.

Q. - Do Truck Balls have any purpose other than to look disgusting and make people point and laugh?

[woahnellie]

well the truck balls seem to swagger from here to there. and they really are gross. and i dont really see the point of balls swinging

where did the music really go, during the day the music died?

[umgaynow]

A: French Lick, Alabama...which is less fun than it sounds like and therefore wasn't really worth the trip...after that The Music learned to read the whole listing and not just the titles...or perhaps just try Intercourse,PA next time instead...

Q: Why do we say someone eats like a bird meaning they don't eat much...when in fact, judging by the bird feeders at my front window, birds eat almost non-stop?

[JujuDeRoussie]

Actually these persons eat birds... that's where it comes from.

Q: why the cofe's odor is so sweet when its taste is so bitter?

[Sapphire eyes]

A: Because of the way that birds peck at therir food and if we pick at our food then we are thus not eating much. Of course no human can never eat lkike a bird because hello? No beaks.
Also it depends on the breed of bird I mean a finch for example won't eat much because of it's smaller tummy whereaas an eagle! Now man that is a serious binge eater.

Q: Why are all the short men I have met complete idiots?