The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[Auriam]

I just had a really bad day !
Exams will come soon and people in my class are helpless
They make me cry toaday

[kisstheviolets]

my cat truman has a wound on his paw that won't heal. i don't know how he got it and it's relatively small, but he can't walk on it. my mom and i have been cleaning it and treating it as best we can, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. i really think he needs to see a vet but i haven't had any temp jobs of late and have zero funds. i'm just going to call around to some vets and see what can be worked out. i feel like a terrible pet-mom.

[DameSansMerci]

KTV, sweetie,
why not call the SPCA and see if they treat animals for free? most SPCAs have a veterinarian on-staff, and they probably would treat little Truman either for free or a discounted rate...I would imagine they would applaud you getting him treatment at risk of being embarassed rather than take him away from you, if you're worried about that. I'm not particularly fond of the SPCA, as they are a kill organization and also tend not to have the best veterinary staff, but for something like a wounded paw, i'm sure their vet would be competent enough...i hope your little friend feels better soon *hugs* don't worry...you're a great pet-mom!

[Saena]

My crappy feeling has an almost-happy ending. I'm thankful for that. As a tour guide at my college, I was supposed to host a prospective student overnight. But some complications arose, and apparently things weren't going so well, so she's with someone else now. The thing is, there isn't much that could have been done to make the situation any better. The problem was that I had dress rehearsal tonight for our big choir performance on Sunday, and I didn't know about it until earlier this week (long after I signed up to host the student). I didn't want to cancel, because it was so close to the visit that it would be a huge inconvenience to find her a new host. But since I was pretty much performing tonight, I'm afraid I wasn't as accessible or available as I should have been. I was planning to let her get some schoolwork done during choir, and then the two of us could do something fun (watch a movie or something) afterwards. But she left right after choir, so I never got the chance to really bond.

The sort-of happy part is that I don't think it was entirely her doing. During choir she called her parents to check in, and expressed that choir wasn't her thing and she didn't have much to do. Her parents then called the student director of admissions (their on-campus contact) and told her that their daughter sounded unhappy, at which point the director decided to switch her to someone else. But while the prospective is certainly happier now with someone she relates to more, I don't think the switch was entirely what she had intended. There's a good possibility that she was just saying she was bored (again, not much to do while I'm busy singing) and her parents interpreted that as her not having a good time at all. The thought of this puts my heart at ease, but I do still feel a little embarrassed and guilty that my first hosting opportunity went this way. Better luck next time.

Saena

[umgaynow]

Man this freakin' sucks...today is my birthday and I am sitting here so pissed off I'm crying...

I had an appointment this morning to apply for my SSDI...after a year of killing myself filling out forms and writing comments and gathering materials I was told I would need by a professional disability counselor and making myself sicker by the work and the worry...I got there and they didn't need or take any of it...including the forms...which are the same ones they have you fill out if you apply on their web site...a whole year of my life wasted...they didn't ask me jack shit about my condition...no wonder everyone gets denied the first time out...how the hell can you make a determination without information...and my friend who just got her disability, saw me doing all this even helped me with some of it and never told me I wouldn't need all that crap...then I call her today and she says, I've been telling you just do go down there from day one...asshole!

PLUS...yes, it's my birthday...my friend and I had long standing plans to go out for dinner and clubbing to celebrate...now, we both have health issues and feel like crap when it rains...since the weather is crappy I called her up and said it's OK with me if we go out tomorrow or the next night or whenever the weather is cooperating and she is feeling better...she tells me that she has made other plans with other friends to come over to her place and watch season 3 of The L Word and have cake and stuff for my birthday...without even bothering to ask me if this is something I have any interest doing...then she has the nerve to get pissed off and tell me I'm a baby and being unreasonable because I don't want to do it...I am feeling crappy and in a bad mood and have no interest in watching season 3 even if I didn't...oh yeah, just what I want to do for my birthday, watch my favorite character get sick and die...

I wanted to go out...we almost never go clubbing and this is a special occasion and I was really looking forward to it and her attitude is "Tough luck, these are the plans we (her and these other chicks I don't really know) made for your birthday"...not to mention I have met these other chicks once and all she and I ever do is hang out at her place and watch movie...which is cool, but this is supposed to be a special thing...so, am I wrong to be pissed off or am I being a bitch? Cuz I don't think so...and now I am not only doing nothing for my birthday, I'm royally pissed off and fighting with my friend too...if this is any indication, being 42 is really gonna suck!

PLEASE TELL ME...WHICH ONE OF US IS BEING THE ASSHOLE HERE?

Happy fucking birthday!

Sandi

[love_2003]

well i had my 22nd birthday on the 5th and that went well. the next day though i started taking an inventory on my life. i had planned to graduate this school year but will probably not graduate for another 2 1/2 years at the rate i am going. it just seems that the life i had planned for myself is not the life that i am lving. the thing that hurts the most though is that i put myself in this situation. i have no-one to blame but myself for being this far behind.
as for this semester, finals are next week. i am worried that my grades will not be high enough and i am going to be kicked out. i survived getting kicked out of one school but i seriously don't think i can survive getting kicked out of this school. i love being here. the thing is if i do get kicked out then i have to attend another school for a semester (not including summer) and bring my GPA up until i can come back to where i am at now. if this happens then i will be letting down a lot of people who have had a lot of hopes for me. i don't know if i can survive putting all my loved ones throught this again. i have so many questions if this happens and no answers.

[river]

i am still sick. like a 2 weeks now . and i feel so tired of working and i dont know why. i dont have to work hard at the moment but its stressing me out so much. and i dont have any idea where it comes from.
i hope it will get better soon :(

[ambercissism]

One of my closest friend's (adoptive) Mom had an aneurism. All through out the time they've confined her to the hospital, till she was comatosed, my friend kept me updated. Just the other night when I was at work, I received an SMS from her again, and it said like this: "She's gone. Just moments ago."

[Devi Crystalseeker]

Oh, gosh... :( *hugs*

[diamondforever]

This is more of a complaint than anything, I guess. Today, I had a gig and we were working with this soundcrew that was being completely uncooperative. During soundcheck, we managed to wrangle out the settings we wanted, but when the time came to actually play, they threw all of those settings out the window and turned down the bass and our three electric guitars so that all anybody could hear were drums, keys, and the two lead vocals.

It was extremely annoying because we don't get the chance to use such a nice sound system too often, and they screwed things up for us and were completely arrogant about everything. Grrrrrr. :(

[Bound2Her]

My girlfriend wanted to know more about my experiances in highschool, good and bad...and I thought it would be perfect to pull out my journal I had kept that entire 4 year's so she could sit and read everything, to give more account on what I went through and such. Well, after an hour of searching in my garage for the box containing said journal, I can't find it.

Just a lil dissapointed type crappy feeling.

[Saena]

I'm currently running on three hours of sleep- I could not get to sleep last night for the life of me. This also happened to be the night before my first exam, which was at 9 this morning. I managed to add two more hours to that total just now, when I returned from the exam. But the proportion of sleep I got relative to the three major assignments I have to complete by midnight tonight is not equal.

Saena

[umgaynow]

It's 5 am and I'm still wide awake...this makes 3 days in a row...wheeeeeeee!

[Thianne]

i had to be honest with her, but that doesn't mean i don't care about her, cause i do, very much. and i know she's hurting so much, and it makes me hurt too, and i just feel miserable but at the same time there's a part of me that i'm not sure i'm ready to give even if i want to run to her and beg her to forgive me. *sigh*

damn...

[Boschi]

The "background" music is blaring. I can't bloody think in here. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

There. I feel very slightly better. Gr

[Thianne]

i hurt her again, made her think there could be a chance, but stabbed her again. i was confused, but that's no excuse. her words hurt more than anything. she's right....i'm a superficial little girl, shallow and insensitive. i don't think i want to risk hurting anyone else, or being hurt by anyone else.

i hurt people, and people hurt me. everything hurts. i just want to crawl in my bed and sleep till august.

please, someone make me stop being so stupid, and hurtful. i beg you, make me stop.....

[Saena]

My latest is also more of a complaint as well. I've been frantically putting together a movie date with my sister, my roommate, and a good friend from college (something we've been wanting to do all month). It was all set for tomorrow at 12:30, but now my friend says she can't come. I really want to see my roommate and hang out (especially so we can discuss our joint study abroad plans), but it'll feel incomplete without the fourth member of the group, and I feel like her absence would be very significant. So I'm thinking the three of us will get together and see a movie anyway. It just gets me down that four people can't seem to coordinate their schedules just to see a movie one afternoon.

And she was the one who proposed this date for the movie, come to think of it. How's that for irony?

Saena

[mandyanyone]

Hey everyone...

I'm not having a very good day today. *sigh* Too much to divulge.

Mandy

[mangled_monkey]

I hate my family sometimes, I really do. For a long time now, there has been an ongoing situation where my sister refuses to have anything to do with my mother's side of the family. This has always upset my mother, but then that sister really never got along with my mom anyway, so nothing new.
The whole thing started because my grandmother had my sister living with her about 6 years ago and doing housework and such for $100 a week spending money, since she was living there for free and all food and everything was provided for her. My grandfather had Alzheimers at the time, and died in 2001, a few months before September. After his death, my grandmother quickly sold the house out from under my sister without informing her sooner than ONE WEEK before she was to move out, got rid of the cats that my sister had been taking care of and bonded with quite closely, and slandered her quite thoroughly. There was everything from she was neglecting the housework to she was prostituting herself out to all the men in Frederick and doing so in my grandmother's bed. Now, I didn't hear about THAT part until a couple of days ago.
Tonight I found out that my grandmother moved to Florida 5 years ago because she discovered, after my grandfather's death, that he had another wife, while he was married to her, for 11 years. I already knew that he was unfaithful to her, but I didn't know the extent of what she didn't know about. She moved to Florida to escape his memory so she wouldn't have to think about it. I can understand that, but she doesn't need to accuse my sister of being a prostitute. And an FYI for anyone that's reading this, my sister was a virgin until 2 years ago, and hadn't slept in the same bed with a man until 3 years ago. The incident that started this rumor was the fact that she had two men (her boyfriend and his best friend) stay over one night so they could leave for the Rennaisance Festival early the next morning.
My sister simply does not wish to associate with the people in our family that still use high school shit to get back at people just because they don't like them. My sister is rather... unique, compared to the rest of the family so she doesn't really fit in with my mom's relatives. I think it's perfectly alright not to fit in, since they're rather two-faced anyway. But I digress.
The cause of my crappy feelings is that earlier tonight, my mother found out about her father's other wife. This caused mummy dearest to talk to me on the hour long ride home from my aunt's house, during which I had absolutely no escape route or headphones to drown out the words. Basically, she said it's my responsibility to make sure my OLDER SISTER begins talking to my grandmother again because my grandmother is 80 years old and getting rather close to death. Now, how in the hell am I supposed to get my stubborner-than-ME older sister to do something that she has absolutely NO reason to do? My sister is the kind of person to whom loyalty is FAR more important than blood, so she does not understand why someone should get special treatment just because they have similar DNA to you. I personally agree on that count, simply because I know that I will be disowned once I come out to my father, and I have accepted that as a matter of course. It'll be his choice to lose me anyway.
Basically, all the family shit is hitting the fan and I'm caught in the middle, AGAIN between my mother and my sister. The annoying thing is, my sister NEVER brings me into it, my mother does. My mother is acting like a child and saying "I can't do it, you have more control over her, you do it!!!" Yeah. I have SO much control over my sister. *sarcasm* I absolutely HATE that she seems to think I have some sort of magical ability to convince her of things simply because I hang around her alot and know her better than pretty much anyone, including her own best friend, because I'm more reliable and trustworthy than anyone else that she socializes with.

Apparently because I am unwilling to break my sister's trust AND royally piss her off and alienate myself in the process, I'm a horrible daughter. Maybe my mom should just take out dad's guns and shoot me with them?

Ugh.

Wow that was a long rant... I need a good and some . This thread is a godsend.

[Alicepire]

Well I just broke up with my girlfriend... to say it didn't go well would be abusing the understatement...
We've been sorta seeing each other since graduation in early November. We had very little in common, she's completely into fitness and sports and isn't so big on writing, stories, comics, TV or movies and loves to have a drink and experiment with drugs. I'm nuts about movies and like nothing more than sitting in my basement and being on the internet while watching DVDs, I'm not so into fitness, I don't really like sports and I don't even like taking pain killers when I have a miagrane, let alone alcohol or anything other than caffine. It was never going to work. Plus she never really talked and every time I tried to start up a conversation it ended up going no where. But I figured that was cos we were both shy and that it would pick up after a little while. Our first date was filled with her talking about sex, which made me feel rather uncomfortable seeing as it was only the second time I'd met her. But still I wanted to give it a chance, she's the only girl who has ever shown any interest in me so I thought it might get better. instead it started to get creepily more intense and just wasn't getting better. Also I discovered that I couldn't get into uni and thus I have to try to make my job work seeing as it's all I've got, so i need to concentrate on that.
Tonight she randomly called me to ask me where she stood. I told her that cos of work and the difference in our interests that it just wasn't working, and I thought we should be friends. She didn't take that very well and then started to talk about death, saying that she was thinking about killing herself. So I tried to talk her out of it, but I don't think I did very well, so I gave her the number of this free phone councelling service that always does things well and told her to call them and i tried to find out if she planned on doing anything in the immediate future. She said that she probably wouldn't, but I'm not sure. And I don't know what to do. I don't know anyone I can call and get them to check in on her, short of calling the councelling service and asking them to call her, but I don't know if that would be the right move. And I don't know if I should call her tomorrow to make sure she's OK, cos what if she gets the wrong idea and thinks that the relationship has hope. Cos it doesn't and that might make thing worse later... But I need to know that she's OK. I never mer her Mum cos they're a strict catholic family and she wouldn't really appreciate discovering that her daughter is bi, so I can't talk to her. The only person I know who knows her hasn't spoken to her in 2 months and has sword herself to be my mortal enemy. I wouldn't mind talking to her, but last time I tried it resulted in rumors being spread, some of my stuff being stolen and some other badness, so I don't think she would listen to what I had to say. So what do I do?

[mangled_monkey]

Alicepire- It sounds like she's trying to bait you to stay in a relationship. Thats one of the most horrible things a girl can do, and you did the right thing by giving her the number to the councelling service. You could call to check up on her and make it very clear that you are worried about her in a purely human way, and not interested in getting back together? I know suicide threats have to be taken seriously, but it seems many girls like to use them when they're just upset with something that has happened and want something to hold over the person that hurt them's head.
If you want to talk about it, feel free to PM me or IM me on whatever service, I have them all listed in my profile. *hugs* I hope things get better.



On topic- Ironically enough, my mother threatened suicide earlier. We had to take my father's gun away from her, and she doesn't know the combination to the safe to get at any of his other ones. We'll be watching her closely for a few days, but it's not like this is the first time something like this has happened... erg.

[Bound2Her]

After spending a wooonderful night with my girlfriend, Ive woken up with a cold or something. My ear's and throat hurt...also my nose is stuffed up. Psh.

[WillowRulez]

Never posted on a forum besides DCP but I just needed to write this down and get this of my chest.
I was just sitting in the living room with my mom and there was a comedian on who is well-known here and she is gay. And we talked about her a little bit and I said to my mom: I thought she did have kids. And my mom snorted and said: How? I just answered she could have adopted, whatever. And my mom totatally surprised me by saying that those kind of people shouldnt be able to adopt. She thinks gay couples are fickle or something. Sometimes I think I could tell her about me but then she says something like this. Guess you never really know anyone.

[Alicepire]

Thanks Mangled_Monkey for the advice, I'm really sorry to hear about your mum.

Today I was out with my parents celebrating new years eve and bumped into my ex, who looked alive and, aside from being very very shocked to see me, well. My Mum knew that I was sorta seeing her and in the car on the way to the city today I had told herv that we had broken up last night and what had happened. Dad had travelled in a separate car this morning and although he knew I liked girls, didn't know I had been seeing anyone. Cos I only see him on weekends it just sorta seemed slipped my mind to tell him, we don't tend to tell Dad much cos he's not all that interested. Like he's a great Dad and all, but he doesn't really get people.
Anyway, after we bumped into her and the awkwardness ensued before we had to quickly go (cos i'm running late for a party) Dad asked what was going on... He didn't take it very well and went really quiet and decided to just go home instead of coming back to the flat with mum and me. He was supposed to be wtahcing the fireworks with Mum tonight in the city. Not good.

Now I had better go and get ready to go to the party *crosses fingers that she meets many a sane woman tonight*

[Foomatic]

Someone please take me out to a field and shoot me.

[kisstheviolets]

my former housemate is a wretched, wretched little twat. i got back to my apartment yesterday and found it in total filth and disrepair. my friends and i spent all day yesterday moving 90% of my place to storage (in snow, no less!) but now i've got to go back today and pack up the kitchen and get all of the cleaning done. the housemate was supposed to come over yesterday to start cleaning but never showed and wouldn't answer my phone calls. i just don't get it. we got along really well when we lived together and the place was always fairly clean and tidy. she was a cool, normal sort of girl and i trusted her with looking after the apartment and the subletter who moved in when i left to california. but apparently she went all girls gone wild after i left, and together her and the subletter drank all my booze, scratched up my furniture, forgot how to use a broom and mop, broke the tea kettle my mom got me for xmas, and let a crust build on the stove (among other gross things). wtf?

[db]

I wrote a long bit of prose about the crappiness of 2006. I edited it because I got shy.

Summary: 2006 was ass, poopy-shit crappy:

My mother became a vindictive drug addled homophobe whom I can no longer speak to -- even though she has breast cancer, and it sucks, mightly. I had to put my dog down and it turns out I can't have kids. Plus, the infertility issue turned out to be for the best because I am splitting up with my wife/gf (and all the associated crappiness a divorce entails).

2006 brass tacks involved a lot of choosing to walk away and too many difficult choices in general... and I am glad it is over.

My hopes for 2007: Less walking away, more wallking toward. More affirmation of love and trust and the goodness of people and, even though I cannot be the person to give it, I hope for some healing for my mom.

blah blah blah

the end.

[Shinnen]

My Grandfather died on the 30th of Dec and got cremated on the 1st of Jan. It's a sad way to usher in the new year.

[Bound2Her]

blah. I was sick for about 4 days and had my girlfriend there to be all encouraging, helpfull, and suggestive when it came to how to get better faster. It worked! But now she's all sick, throwing up and such...and there's not a damn thing I can do to help her out. I cant really be there for her. This is annoying and it make's me feel a bit helpless. Grumble grumble.

[Boschi]

2007 has been a little rocky so far - my dad died Tuesday morning. My mom, who has always been a level headed, sharp lady was very, very shaken up by it. So Tuesday... well, it was a long day. And I'm glad it's over now. My mom is still grieving deeply today, but she is better.
This continues to be a sudden and surreal education in handling the mundane details of death: funeral homes, wills, death certificates and such.

I would encourage everyone to take up a hard topic with those you love, and ask plainly for information about their wishes in the event of illness or death. Decisions rush up on you and having information in one place, in a location you are aware of, can mean a great deal.

We think we can always ask, but the truth is there will come a time when you can't anymore. So take courage and ask now.

- Boschi