The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[Morrigan]

I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss, Gorn. Having to take a pet on that final journey is one of the hardest things to do.

Be gentle with yourself for a while, you and your wife both.

[Nue]

I´m really sorry for your loss, Gorn...

[DameSansMerci]

Thanks, Nue *hugs*

[woahnellie]

so sorry for your loss gorn! i don't post much often anymore but I'm still around almost everday!

[Nue]

on medical leave until march 31st

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My yummy German waffles are almost gone :(

[Willowtree252]

I had a dream I was fighting a Huge snake in my nightmare last night trouble is I know who it represented MY BOSS.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I'm really scared of coming out to my grandmother :(

[Nue]

I'm really scared of coming out to my grandmother :(

ha, I know this feeling... my grandma is the most fantastic woman I ever met (like all our grandmas XD) , and I love her a lot... but I know she won´t understand... but she 'knows' about me... they always know...

[ashcrash71590]

having the worst morning of my whole life....

Ash

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I found out a couple hours ago that my little sister was checked into a mental hospital yesterday because she's been cutting herself again. I'm worried and scared and sad for her, and I feel bad that I haven't been around, haven't been there for her, didn't even know anything was wrong. I know I probably couldn't have helped but... I feel bad that I'm not a part of her life anymore. I don't think it's my fault she's been hurting myself, but I do blame myself for not really knowing her now. I love her so much, but we hardly see each other and almost never talk, and even if I couldn't make her life better I should at least be a part of it. As well as making me scared and sad for her, it just makes me realized how much has changed between us in the last few years, and I miss my littler sister. I miss watching dumb tv with her, giving her money for soda and gummy bears, making up our own silly words, playing Life, eating lots of ice cream and watching Buffy with her when I was upset, having her hold me when I needed it, going for walks so we could talk without the parents around... I miss having her in my life, seeing her every week and knowing what's going on in her world. We haven't had that in a long time, but I never realized just how far apart we've grown until today.

[Nue]

mother just find out that I´m voiceless... yeah, I lost my voice 5 months ago...

[ScottishAsh]

Had to go to a meeting, my bus didnt show up, had to get a taxi, got to the meeting, and then found that i had no money for the bus home. Had to walk for almost 3 hours non stop till i got back to my home town. And i have work in a couple hours. Yeah pretty crappy monday.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I'm really mad at my sister's dad right now... Apparently a big part of why she's been cutting herself is because he won't let her live half-time with her mom and my dad. It was her choice to move in with him when she was 14, but now she's 16 and he said no to her splitting her time between houses. It's seriously messed up. They've been fighting about it for a couple weeks now, and even when they found out she was cutting herself he *still* wouldn't let her live with him only half time; it took a trip to the ER because she cut herself so bad she needed stitches and a mandatory 3-day stay at the mental hospital to get her dad to even consider it. Just really pisses me off...

[abarda]

Nobody in my family understands my points of view in almost everything. They probably think that I'm crazy.

[JustSkipIt]

$900 bucks for new tires. Nuff said.

[ashcrash71590]

i hate when people make you feel like shit, when they are the one doing wrong, not you

Ash

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My class starts tomorrow. I don't wanna go.
It's only once a week and chances are there won't be much homework, but honestly I don't feel very motivated, and I have no reason to think I will enjoy it. The whole point of these training classes, which I'll now be taking the last of, is to get a credential that only matters here, and hopefully I won't be living here more than another year or so. I could, theoretically, get a better job once I'm done in the summer, but I'm not sure if I want to; having more money and a more respectable position would be great, but it would restrict my ability to take time off way more than I'd care for. I want to be able to visit my girlfriend in the summer and in the fall, maybe again in the following spring if we're still apart, and I won't be able to do that if I have a "real" job. At this point the biggest motivation is knowing that I can only keep the job I have now for a semester once I'm not in school, which means if I take this class I can *hopefully* stay where I am until the end of the year. At the same time, it's hard to choose staying where I am when I know I could get a job with benefits and much better pay...
All in all, I just wish my class wasn't starting. I'd rather just work and go through my regular daily life, trying to make the time pass as quickly and effortlessly as possible.

[ashcrash71590]

freaking being outta work sucks
i really hope i find a job soon

Ash

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Every insecurity I had when I started my first class a year ago, which got a lot better but never went away completely, came back today 10-fold. I'm honestly not sure I can do this. It was a mistake when I started taking the classes, I didn't fit then and I don't fit now. This semester, what matters is professionalism and family relationships, and I don't have either. I'm really scared I can't do this.

[Kessari]

Today once again showed how much I do not fit in...

[Nue]

she´s sick... and I´m not there!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I feel myself slipping into depression again

[Taralover]

My itchy skin will allways need scratching, it seems.

[Hidden_Thoughts]

..

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I was really wanting to find my first posts from about 6 years ago, but I'm fairly certain I used a different screenname when I first joined the old board, and I have no idea what it was. Frustrating.

[abarda]

I thought my days of being bullied were in the past, but it seems that I was wrong. Today when I opened my formspring inbox and there was someone saying offensive stuff about me, telling me that I was stupid. The message didn't hurt me, but I got sad with the fact that there's someone who wants to see me hurt. Why would someone waste his or her time trying to do it?

[Nue]

I thought my days of being bullied were in the past, but it seems that I was wrong. Today when I opened my formspring inbox and there was someone saying offensive stuff about me, telling me that I was stupid. The message didn't hurt me, but I got sad with the fact that there's someone who wants to see me hurt. Why would someone waste his or her time trying to do it?

people are stupid, simple like that...

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My old dog is fading. She's almost 13, old for a purebred golden retriever, and she's had some problems for a couple years now, but nothing major. Lately there's just no life left in her, all the energy and spirit she once had so much of is gone. Tonight I got her to eat for the first time in a couple days, but I'm honestly not sure it was the right thing to do. She's tired all the time, she seems like...she's tired of being alive. She's my old dog, I wanna take care of her and keep her with us as long as possible, but at the same time I worry it's not the right choice for her. Maybe her not wanting to eat means she's just ready to let go...
My crappy feeling is not knowing what to do.

[JujuDeRoussie]

I'm really emotional lately. It's starting to make me depressed.I get angry easily, I get my hopes up easily, and then disappointment is stronger.
I try to make good things happen for me. I really try, I sometimes end up being happy for a few moments. Glad of what I did for myself.
But I just feel lonely, upset, hopeful, disappointed, and confused. I don't know why, or where it comes from. I just know it's about everything. Everyone.

Thursday'll be better. It has to.