The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[gorn]

I feel Crappy because I missed posting in the "It's Just Thursday, MKF!" thread yesterday ... and it was a damn good Thursday, too, because I didn't have to work today!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I lasted just under a week at my awesome new job before getting fired. I got distracted and made a mistake. My bosses said they were very sorry to let me go cause they think I do great work and they know everybody makes mistakes, but the center's been in trouble and they couldn't afford to overlook this mistake. They had to view me as a liability and let me go.
That was just over a week ago, and I've mostly been hiding from the world ever since. I'm doing okay emotionally by now, but it's really making me question my future and my career goals... Getting fired sucks :(

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I applied for a nanny job and seemed really close to getting it, but I got an email today saying that the woman couldn't only get ahold of one of my references. That one reference was for the director of a camp where I volunteered three years ago, and I knew the director didn't know me but I thought he'd have a copy of the evaluation I was given and be able to look me up, but when the women called him all he told her was that he didn't remember me. I have no idea why she couldn't reach anyone else, I'm certain I gave her the right info, and I can't think why at least my boss when I worked in Kentucky wouldn't talk to her... She gave me a good reference for a job just a couple weeks ago and I was sure she would again.
I dunno what happened, but it's very discouraging. This job would barely pay me enough to live on, but it would be a job, and I'd be taking care of a really cute little girl. I really don't want this to somehow keep me from getting it... Plus now I'm feeling paranoid about why my references won't at least verify my working at their centers.

[little.hesperides]

I will most likely lose my job within the next couple of weeks. It's either stick with my current duties exclusively and be terminated, or accept other duties (which have given me a panic attack in the past) and stay employed. They already cut my hours back by nearly half at the beginning of the month, and currently my freelance business isn't bringing in enough to fully support me. So. The question is: hold my ground and lose my job, or adjust to keep the job and incur daily bouts of medical-grade anxiety?

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My computer has randomly decided it no longer works with my mobile internet, and we can't get the router to work with the new home internet, so we can still only have one computer online at a time. Grrrrrrrrr.

[KiWy]

I really, really don't like getting angry. And I really hate the way things went. But that's how it has to be, because i've been blind and now I have to see, acknowledge and fight back.

[Laragh]

I have a Willow/Tara...well, it's a shrine. I have the dolls and signed pictures and all kinds of random bits and pieces.

And then there was a huge gust of wind from nowhere and now it is no more. Well it is, but in parts strewn all over the floor. I know there's a lot worse things that could happen to people, but it was like my favourite thing and I spent well over a grand on it overall.

It's making for one very unhappy kitten :(

[JustSkipIt]

What a weekend. Ipretty much sliced off the end of my right thumb. Ow. And I got a ticket for not moving to the right lane while going the speed limit so people could get party me to speed. And my wife is in her usual terrible mood.

[little.hesperides]

I'm single. <-------This is the weirdest thing to say right now. My relationship of 5 years ended today. Tomorrow I begin apartment hunting (if I even want to stay in this city) and packing. Anyone have extra kleenex?

My life is in complete chaos right now.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I'm sending you some hugs little.heperides. That must be awful.

My crappy feelings seem small in comparison, but I'm a bit pissed right now. My mom called and was so completely patronizing about my new job it made me want to scream. I know being a nanny, especially for just under minimum wage, isn't exactly prestiguous work, but she makes me feel like she thinks it's nothing when she sounds so damn cheerful I can tell it's a lie. Then she said something like, "Well at least it's a job, for now," completely switching gears and basically admitting that she thinks it's a crap job. I'm not asking anyone to be proud of me or this job, but I want a little damn respect. I love working with kids, and even if being a nanny isn't quite what I've done before, this kind of work means a lot to me. I think teaching kids is important, and my mom thinks it's just a way to get a crappy paycheck.

[little.hesperides]

Thanks for the hugs! Much appreciated. The break-up was mutual and was a long time coming, but that doesn't lessen the magnitude of the suck-age.

Sorry your mother is being so condescending about your job. Working with kids is a wonderful and admirable profession. In any capacity. I've learned, usually the hard way, that parents are not perfect and are not the people we always think they are or want them to be. That's what friends are for. Just keep at it.

[JustSkipIt]

Another pretty crappy day at work. I want to have a positive attitude and stick it out and enjoy my job. But my boss is ... today she was downright rude to me. She has never used the system or looked at the documentation so it's not-intuitive or user-friendly. It went through JAD (when users give input and approve the screens, reports, functions, etc.) and user testing but when I mentioned that she says well she's been in meetings and users don't ask for things because they don't think that programmers will do it. The thing is that she's the IT Manager! Shouldn't she be a little on the side of the programmer? Seriously, she was rude. I didn't cry and I stayed reasonable saying that if she has suggestions, I'm happy to incorporate them... I'll probably never get a concrete list from her. Just complaints.

I know...

Breathe. Pray. Be thankful for my job.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Tonight I *finally* made up my mind what classes to take for the summer, but found that one of the classes was full (even though it had multiple spaces when I checked two days ago), so I had to pick a different, significantly less convenient section, but I figured out how to rearrange my other classes and make it work. I put in all the necessary info and clicked the 'register' button, but then I got a message saying I needed a "granted petition" to register for the class that I'd had to pick a different section for. I can't find anything online to make sense of it, cause it's a class that normal has an entrance test but I took the entrance test 3 years ago so it shouldn't be an issue. I don't know what the deal is or how to fix it. I guess I'll have to call tomorrow, but I have things I need to do tomorrow during my downtime at work and I guess I'll get to spend my time on the phone trying to find someone to talk to instead. And of course by the time I get it sorted out this section may well be full like the last one.

[little.hesperides]

Unemployed, now single, and apartment hunting. Life has incredibly bad timing.
Worst. Week. Ever.

[Rachel]

I hate pms! I've been crying for absolutely no reason for the past two days. Why?? I have no idea, but EVERY thought, song, thing that any one says to me that could be remotely nice has made me bawl like a baby. I hate it and am really wanting to skip the whole 'being a girl' for this week.

[Nue]

Survivor´s Guilt sucks ¬¬

[Gaga01]

Survivor's guilt? Are you okay, Nue? (I mean, no you're not or you wouldn't be posting here, but I hope you are okay...)

I've been feeling crappy for a while now, and if I could blame school or PMS or whatever before, it's not the case now. I'm still only working weekend shifts at my job and I don't know when I'll get to work more, I am so freaking sick of being tired and alone and don't have anyone to talk to. I'm stressed out all the time and, logically, I have no good reason why, except for the being alone, the not working enough, the not knowing what I'll do once I'm done with school next fall. I am sick and tired of people making joke about when I'll bring a guy home, just like I am sick of feeling like an outsider all the freaking time. I feel like I'm becoming a hermit again because I keep shutting everyone out and since they don't seem to care that I spend all my free time alone, it makes me feel like I am a goddamn chair in the corner of the room, I'm there but they couldn't care less if it was gone. I feel like I'm trapped and nothing will ever be enough to get me out and that'll be a f*cking loser forever. So tired of all that f*cking shit.

[JustSkipIt]

Asher is sick. Has a sore throat and fever and is lying on the couch passed out.

DOES NOT LIKE

[angieb86]

Long distance relationships suck.

And apparently, so does my girlfriend...acoording to the whole of Rutherford County.

Score one for Team ME. Another hot, skanky girlfriend. FML.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I think I'm getting depressed again, for the first time in a couple years. I don't know why I'm feeling this way or how to make it stop. I just feel so directionless and unmotivated... Like I don't even care about my career anymore. I'm used to losing motivation for my classes and things, even to losing sight of my goals cause I get so bogged down in the day-to-day crap of hating homework, but I'm not used to not *caring* about my goals. I don't know why it's happening. I don't know why pretty much all I want to do is watch Doctor Who, or why even though I have fun when I'm with people it feels like a huge expenditure of energy to reach out. I don't like depression. I really wanted to believe I might be past that part of my life...

[JustSkipIt]

My throat hurts and my wife cam be such a bitch to me. She shot me the finger. Fucking seriously. The finger.

[Finey_McFine]

There's nothing worse than coming home form the Vet with an empty kennel. We had to put one of our cats down this week...he had malignant tumors on his kidneys. Ugh, it was devastating for our daughter because he was basically her's plus we've had him for 9 years. He just showed up one day (he was around 2 at the time) and we started feeding him, so he stayed. Jordan named him Stars since he showed up around July 4th and we already had another stray (a Tabby) named Stripes. He was a true tomcat! He walked the fence line...loudly, fought with every other cat in the neighborhood and left us many offerings on the front steps! RIP Starzy...we'll miss you.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I am such a horrible procrastinator and am really kicking myself right now. I've been working on a paper for nearly a month with getting almost nothing accomplished, and this week despite knowing it was supposed to be due Thursday I kept putting off finishing it. Last night my teacher kindly gave me an extension to turn it in tonight, and like a stupid, lazy, idiot I put it off yet again and despite getting home at 4:30 today I didn't start working on the paper until after 8. Now it's 2am, I've been up since 6:55 (cause I let myself sleep in a bit this morning) and averaging under 6 hours hours of sleep the last 3 nights (when I normally average 7+ and still generally feel tired), and I still have tons left to write. I shouldn't even be on here right now, but I really needed to take a minute to breathe and try to refocus. If I really stick with it the next couple hours, don't get distracted or go off in a tangent or fall asleep, I should be able to finish and email it by 4am. Which means going to bed only a couple hours before I normally get up, totally demolishing what little I have left of a sleep schedule after the past few days. And all I really wanna due right now is crawl into bed and sleep for 12 or 15 hours.
I hate papers soooooo much, and I especially hate writing them in the middle of the night. I really need to be more responsible in the future :(

[Gaga01]

I think my hedgehog is dying. I'm sure of it, actually. She's lost weight, and she was cold and boneless when I picked her up earlier. Warmed her up and she started moving around again for which I was grateful for, but she's so weak and she collapsed on her blanket after taken only a few short steps. Just checked her out now and she hasn't moved and doesn't react when I try to rouse her...Why do they all have to die now? Since last november, both my octodons, a budgie and now her? COME ON!!! :'(

[Finey_McFine]

I think my hedgehog is dying. I'm sure of it, actually. Why do they all have to die now? Since last november, both my octodons, a budgie and now her? COME ON!!! :'(

So sorry to hear about your pets. This hasn't been a good last few weeks for us either...first a hamster and then a cat just a few days ago.

[Gaga01]

So sorry to hear about your pets. This hasn't been a good last few weeks for us either...first a hamster and then a cat just a few days ago.

So sorry to hear about that...my hedgehog died during the night. My little Tara is gone!

[Finey_McFine]

Gaga01...so sorry about your little Tara. I'm with you, I hate losing pets.


**On to my crappy feelings...It royally sucks when a friend has something big happen in their life, they don't bother to tell you and you have to find out via Facebook. So, I'm pretty much thinking that we're done. At least I am. Good riddance.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

A couple years ago I very briefly had an extremely awesome roommate that I loved lived with, and a few weeks ago she called me up out of the blue wanting to rent a house together. The timing seemed perfect so we started looking, but then I got fired so we put the plans on hold, agreeing to start looking again in July or August, assuming I had a job again. I started a new job a couple weeks ago and I thought things were going to work out great, cause the pay is liveable when I'm working fulltime but I'll only be parttime over the summer; I thought the timing would work great, cause we'd be trying to move about the time I when back to 40 hours a week and therefore a much better paycheck. So night before last I get a text from her saying to call, but it's late so I put it off. Yesterday my phone's dying all day so again I don't call, but I start guessing at what she texted about, and figure that she found a potential third roommate cause we'd talked about trying to find someone else to room with. I start getting a little excited at the prospect of moving, and start thinking maybe it'll turn out to be sooner rather than later (which I shouldn't but could afford), if she's contacting me so much before when we agreed to start searching again. So today I finally called her. Turns out she has a new boyfriend (very very new, like she had a different one when I last talked to her a month ago) and they're moving to New York in July. I'm all for following your heart (though I'm more cautious as an observer) and I'm happy for her, but it really really sucks for me.
I really wanted to live with her again cause we had so much fun together, but also I really need a roommate and there is literally no one else.

[Rachel]

I've been really annoyed the past two days. I don't know why but I'm really glad I'm off after today or I think I would go all murder circus on someone.

[Foomatic]

I feel like I've failed my daughter, and she's only one.