The Crappy Feelings Thread (HOTLINES in first post)

[AstronSoul]

Ok so this is the worst week ever. First I am failing my classes, and now my girl of a few years decided that because some dumb fuck says I called her a liar, she is walking away from our relationship. Well screw her, I don't need the damn abuse!!! Good riddance to Gothic white trash!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

My brother's about to move across the country (again), and he is making absolutely no effort to spend time with our mom, especially with me around as well which is what she really wants, before he leaves. She says she doesn't care, but I can tell it's killing her that he's made a point to have my stepmom create a family gathering for our paternal family and won't do anything to try to see her. I know he doesn't have a lot of time, but he could at least *try* instead of just blowing her off. I hate to see him hurting her like this.

[brave-little-toaster]

Dear roomies,
If you've got a problem with me, say it to my face, not to Facebook. 'Kay, thanks, bye.

[Finey_McFine]

My house is a money pit. We should have stayed in Seattle instead of moving back down south 12 years ago. Too many insect issues...honey bees in the walls, carpenter bees boring holes in the facia board, termites and now rats, raccoons and opossums living under the deck treating the pool like their own personal watering hole. Gives new meaning the the saying, "Cement pond." Damn drought! There goes our wedding money. It's just down right depressing.

[AstronSoul]

So today is very crappy, I get to see my cousin off as he is deployed. I am proud he is serving his country, but at the same time don't want him to go!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I should preface this post by stating that I am an obsessive Doctor Who fan-- to the point of it being a bit unhealthy--, this is my first season to be completely caught up and having to wait for new episodes, and last week's episode was the first one after a mid-season break of nearly 3 months.
I have to miss tomorrow's new episode of Doctor Who to go to my sister's wedding, which I really don't want to go to anyway. I'm not sure at this point if I don't want to go to the wedding and missing Doctor Who is the yucky icing on the disgusting cake, or if I don't want to miss Doctor Who and having to miss it for the wedding is the gross icing on the icky cake, but either way I just want to have a lazy day then go to a watch party in the evening for the new episode. Instead I'll be in a fancy dress that is completely not me and ugly shoes I can barely walk in, wearing makeup (against my desires) for the first time in a decade, standing around for hours while my sister and the other bridesmaids get dolled up, and then sitting around at the reception for hours with no one to talk to. I don't wanna go and even though I know it's pathetic I REALLY don't wanna miss Doctor Who!

[Finey_McFine]

Sometimes I think that the universe holds a grudge against us. This has been a truly shitty financial week. The money pit cost us around $1400 for some necessary maintenance and one of our dogs had to make a visit to the emergency vet today. Her belly was seriously distended and she could hardly walk. So off we went, because all problems with pets HAVE to occur on a weekend, when the cost is double...$450 and 3 hours later, they couldn't find anything wrong except that she appeared to be constipated.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Sometimes the past still hurts. I wouldn't take it back for the world, but sometimes it still makes me really sad. I'm not broken anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm exactly okay either. The last few days I've been remembering more than I have in months, not the good kind of remembering where a beautiful moment pops into my mind once in a while and I smile at the memory, but rather the bad kind of remembering where a dozen things in an afternoon will randomly connect to the past and throw me for a loop. I hadn't had the surprise hurt in quite a while, and had hoped I was finally passed it. Guess not...

[Kessari]

I don't know how to deal with this. I'm not even sure I want to. Life keeps changing for the worse and I hate it. You take one step forward and life just kicks you in the backside and you have to take three steps back. This year sucks big time and I can't wait for it to be over.
I want it to be 2012, when I can finally get the hell out of this place and leave all the shit behind. I can't stand being here anymore and God knows, if I could just pack my bags and leave, I wouldn't look back. I wouldn't shed a single tear. I wouldn't miss it.
Yeah sure, I know, leaving won't solve any problems, but it won't be like running away. It will be like running toward something I always wanted and needed. This place makes me miserable and if I don't leave soon it's going to break me completely. Yesterday proved that.
I want to be happy again, I deserve it, but I know it's not going to happen here.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Even when I know changes will be for the better, I always hate them. I don't want to be someone who hates change, but I always have been and I don't know how to shift my way of thinking.

[willowtarabuffyfaith]

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at college and i don't evem know what i want to do as a career as the 2 years at college! I want to go in to Psychology but i don't know what area, i'm thinking criminal or something but i don't know!

[Laragh]

I feel like I'm never going to have a period of time where my moods could actually be described as 'stable'.

[willowtarabuffyfaith]

I might have to move from my childhood home, i've lived there since i was born (16 nearly 17years). I'll have to walk past my home everyday on the way to college because my mum and sister have already found a property (my sister posted a link about it on facebook) they are considering and i don't think i can handle it. I found out about it tonight after overhearing my dad talking to my mum on the phone so my sister posted a link on facebook without even thinking that i might not even know about it. I've just started college and that's a little overwhelming as well. I don't handle changes very well and starting college is enough of a change for me to handle at the moment, i know i won't be able to handle moving. The house i live now is my home...i can't move, i won't be able to deal with it.

Not only that, i've just met my dad's new girlfriend today (who i like very much) and that feels overwhelming because he's got someone else in his life (i'm happy for him i really am) but i don't want to be left behind.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I'm not taking care of myself, I KNOW I'm not taking care of myself and that things could get very bad soon, but I still can't *make* myself take care of myself. I don't sleep anymore-- for weeks now it's been 4-6 hours a night. I'm up late enough now I won't even get 4 tonight. And most of the time I don't even care. I'm worried. I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed by things right now, and I keep putting shit off until it gets harder and harder to deal with, and I'm feeling so averse to all the adulthood bullshit that I seem to be subconciously saying screw you to responsibility-- not the responisbility of my job, cause I would never shirk that, or the responsibility of paying things or helping my mum get her house ready to sell, but the responsibility of being good to myself, and of being proactive in my life. I'm worried about who I am, and who I might be becoming if I continue like this. I don't want to not care about my health or my sanity...

[BeMyDeputy]

I feel like a heartless bitch.

[LikeAnAmazon]

My life is empty. Every day is the same; I wake up, I go to school, I come home, I watch tv or surf the internet, and I go back to sleep. And I just can't bring myself to give a damn anymore. Life rushes straight past me, and I just keep standing still. There's no meaning to my life, so I surround myself with fiction to fill the hole. What am I missing and why?

[Laragh]

I recently lost one of my uncles to lung cancer and I just found out another has a malignant tumor behind his eye. He's getting his eye removed this week and we'll know more about how far progressed and what his prognosis is then, but I really don't know what I'll do if it's more bad news. He's the closest thing to a father I ever had.

[gorn]

I missed Thursday, didn't I?

[Finey_McFine]

I feel shitty. It's still hot and sweaty out, albeit 20? cooler than it was 2 months ago, but I can tell it's fall because my allergies are kicking my ass. My throat is scratchy, I'm congested and my entire face hurts because of my sinuses. I'm taking my meds, but they don't seem to be touching it. I'm sure by this time next week, I'll be at the Dr getting something for a sinus infection...BLAH!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I feel shitty. It's still hot and sweaty out, albeit 20? cooler than it was 2 months ago, but I can tell it's fall because my allergies are kicking my ass. My throat is scratchy, I'm congested and my entire face hurts because of my sinuses. I'm taking my meds, but they don't seem to be touching it. I'm sure by this time next week, I'll be at the Dr getting something for a sinus infection...BLAH!

I get a LOT of sinus infections, so I can feel your pain. The last time I went to the doctor for one, the PA suggested I start using a neti pot when I feel under the weather. Much as I hate it, it's actually seemed to help, so if you can stand to spend 15 minutes pouring saline solution through your nose I'd recommend it.


My crappy: I've been in regret mode way too much lately. I always wish I had more of the things and people I loved. Lately I wish I could've been less hesitant and fought a little harder for what I really wanted. I think the end results would've been the same, but I wish I could look back and know without a doubt that I gave *everything* I had to give, that I never left a single promise that was in my heart unspoken. I don't wanna think that way, I hate regrets and try not to have them, but lately I can't stop wishing. I just want to live my life instead of thinking about what could have been, but right now that's proving very difficult.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

A few months ago I decided to do a half-marathon, and I've been training for it and looking forward to it ever since. I've had ups and downs, but I've been excited, and a bit nervous. Tomorrow's the day, and I just found out that I totally fucked up. Back when I decided to do it I got a coupon for it, half off, and for some idiotic reason I thought that buying the coupon registered me for the race. Turns out I was supposed to fill out a registration form by July 31st. So I don't get to go. 3+ months of training and excitement and nerves, plus the registration fee, and I don't get to run. I literally cried when I realized. I was so fucking proud of myself that I was doing this, and now I'm not, and I honestly can't believe how upset I am over it. This race was going to be the first to be truly proud of myself for in 6 months. It was going to be an accomplishment to look back on for the rest of my life, that I set myself this seemingly impossible goal and actually achieved it, and now I don't get the chance because I missed the fucking fine print on an email 3 months ago.

[JujuDeRoussie]

We had to move because our place was starting to be too expensive to rend, especially to care for (the heating system is too old and therefor too expensive). For a while we have to pay the rent there and here, but it's ok. Now my crappy feelings are about my cats. That place is too small to have them locked in. We have a sort of teresse/backyard (common to the building) but with a direct access to a road that a lot of cars take from a parking. Often in a hurry, and therefor it isn"t uncommon to find run-over animals. So I am considering finding a family for my cats, hopefully nearby so I can visit them. And in 2/3 years I'd get them back when we move in a house. But it makes me so sad. I already miss them and can barely look at them without feeling guilty. I keep crying. I believe it is what is best for them, and yet it kills me. Tazia was my mother's cat, and Nougat... Nougat was born right in front of me. I'm the first human to have touched him... He is my baby.
I feel like an irresponsible person, or like a monster. I just wish I could keep them but it wouldn't be fair. And we had to move. :(

[Finey_McFine]

My assistant of the last 4 years and bff is leaving. Next week is her last week. She got offered an admin assistant job with a big engineering firm for lot's more than I could pay her with tons of benefits. My life will be turned upside down at work. She does so much for me and I'm REALLY going to miss her!!! Plus she is my daily comic relief. In the last 20 years, she is hands down the BEST employee I've EVER had. We kind of have this symbiotic relationship at work and I NEVER have to ask her to do things, she just anticipates them and does them. We're the only two in here that seldom, if ever, make mistakes. This means lot's more work for me and less free time. Ugh!!! FML.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

I think I am well on my way to head-over-heels for this girl. She's not quite 18, lives in California, and isn't sure if she likes girls --and oh yeah, we've never had a proper conversation. This is definitely very not good.

[Finey_McFine]

I found out today that a friend's daughter has stage II Hodgkin's Lymphoma, she's only 16 yrs old.

[BeneathMyWillowTree]

I found out today that a friend's daughter has stage II Hodgkin's Lymphoma, she's only 16 yrs old.

I am so sorry to hear that. So uncool! Sending all kinds of positive vibes to your friend's daughter. And of course her family and you.

[Finey_McFine]

I found out today that a friend's daughter has stage II Hodgkin's Lymphoma, she's only 16 yrs old.

I am so sorry to hear that. So uncool! Sending all kinds of positive vibes to your friend's daughter. And of course her family and you.

Thanks so much!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Just found out a good friend is having a Halloween party and didn't invite me. Even though Halloween is my birthday. Nice to know some things never change...

[little.hesperides]

really? a flat tire and lost hubcap? because that is EXACTLY what i need when i'm technically unemployed and only earned $15 in tips on the way home from my one-night waitressing gig.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

The situation is *completely* my own fault so I really have no right to complain, but I have two lab write-ups due tomorrow evening that I've barely started, and I'm already sleepy and I have work tomorrow until about an hour before class. And I can't even get motivated to work on them, even though I know they're a major grade and the teacher doesn't accept late work. Tomorrow's my birthday and I won't have any time to celebrate so I've wanted to use this weekend as my psuedo-birthday, and I really don't wanna end it doing extremely boring hw...