Letters to the Universe

[Floyd]

Dear Asda,

Why do you always beckon me to drive into your car park and walk into your insides when I'm hungry? Why not when I'm full? You make me buy the most random, useless crap that I will probably never eat. Or I will eat and I'll be fat.

Yours Sincerely,
Me, getting poorer by the minute.

[writerfreak]

Dear New Friends, You will never know how much both your words and that poem meant to me. Thank you so much, both of you. writerfreak

[Boschi]

Dear bitch I know only by reputation and via self righteous emails,

You may want to stop your authoritative denounciation of my professionalism long enough to note that the error was yours. Over and over and over again.

I get it. Really. I too enjoy feeling like I am the only person in the world with a clue. You should see my signature on this totally cool website I visit.

The thing is, it tends to undercut you a wee bit when it turns out that the reason things are going poorly for you is because you failed to understand and responsibly manage your own affairs. Then you failed to realize this and instead blamed others, which really does put the cherry on the whipped cream of a big ol' sundae of incompetence.

Please try to do better next time.

Sincerely,

The competent one

P.S. Now would be a good time to thank me for going out of my way to fix your fuck-up.

[love_2003]

Dear future self,

I hope one day you look back on this time in your life and realize how you already had everything you needed out of life. Everything was right in front of you, you just had to grab it. You were loved and cherished like you wouldn't believe. Those hard times that you went through were called 'life-experience' and they were worth it. That love you were waiting for was waiting for you to make the first move. And that dream job you wanted has always been waiting for you. You were made for it and now you will own it.

Leave the past in the past, nothing you can do about it now. Cry when you need to. Yell when you need to. Scream when you need to. Don't hold it in because you are hurting no-one but yourself. You are amazing and you deserve happiness. Laugh as much as you can. The world has given you so many beautiful things and yet there is still more to come. Enjoy!


Love ya

[writerfreak]

Dear all the great staff that worked on me at the Swedish: Thank you so much for all you did to help me. I know I wasn't an easy patient at times and can't have been easy to work on. Believe it or not I don't want to forget my time with you all. You are wonderful doctors and nurses. Thank you for saving my life. writerfreak

[sweet satin lover]

I dont really know who this is to by name as such but iot is to whoever created me, not in the literal parents sense ( I love my mum dearly though) but more in the "whoever put me on the planet" way. I am of Wiccan faith so I shall say goddess for the moment.

Around this time this afternoon of last year I was in a car crash, I dont know why this had to happen to me and although it caused a rift between me and my brother Tim and caused and still causes me much pain I would like to thank you in a way because it has taught me some very valuable things and I hope the incident will make me a stronger person. It has made me want to live life even more and it has inspired me to write more often and chase after that dream of becoming a full time Author and hopefully make it a reality. I love my brother very much and the negativity that was there seems to be going so I thank you for giving me the strength to forgive and move forward. 2007 although a bad year in many respects was a good year too, another little person my little nephew Lucas was born, he enruches the life of my sister and her husband and indeed the whole family. I love him very much and hope that the universe keeps him safe and allows him to grow up into a happy and bright individual I got my kitten Lilly who has helped me regain my confidence and help me to relax after nightmares or when the pain sets in, and I also would like to thank you for allowing new friends to come into my life, I love them and appreciate all that they do for me.

Generally I feel more coonected and alive than I ever have done before, I dyed my hair as a symbolic shedding of skin and I love it, I love my mother and my sisters for putting up with me when I was so down in the dumps and fro encouraging me to go swimming and helping me when it all got too much. I am so glad that my brother was not hurt or worse and I am so glad that I was fgiven a second chance, its almost as if you knew I have something to give to people around me be it family, friends or strangers and I am so grateful for this new chance, I can feel the positive energy all around me so much that sometimes I just want to cry I am so happy that I ama alive and getting better it has been a long road, but like when I was born I had brain damage and I nearly died, I got through it and again I have got through this. If my real dad could see me now he would be kicking himself...all I ask id that you please continue to keep me and my loved ones safe and happy, that is all I want, material things do not matter. I have ben given another cnance and I cant wait to see waht the universe has planned for me and those I care about!
Blessed be! xxx

[writerfreak]

Dear Stupid Psycho Bitch,
What the fuck is your problem? I did nothing but help you and treat you wonderfully. You were like a mother to me and you knew it. I did nothing to deserve this treatment and you know it. Threatening all this bullshit that I haven't done and saying I'm going to go to jail for it? Whatever. I'm not the crazy one here, you're acting like a child. Grow up. I haven't done shit to you. By the way, thanks so much for dropping me off in the freezing snow a week after I had major surgery. That's wonderful for the recovery process. I hope I never see you again.

writerfreak

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Dear Self,
Stop being stupid. Relax. Focus on the present, not the future. Enjoy your life as it is. Get through school. Take things one day at a time. Live.
Remember that the only gateway to tomorrow is today.

[writerfreak]

Dear Universe,
You still keep messing with me. Throwing me so many unseen variables that I don't know how to fit them into my world. I'm trying my damndest to take it all in stride but its almost impossible. You just keep throwing thing after thing at me. I don't know why you feel you have to fuck with my life but I've asked multiple times to take me off of your people to screw with list. I hope you actually do this time.

writerfreak

[Leaf]

Dear Shitty Tipper,

Hi, it's me. The massage therapist who busted her ass (not to mention her hands) working out the mountain of tension in your back for 75 minutes yesterday. Remember? The one you said was the best massage you've had in years and how shocked you were that you had full range of motion back in your neck. Ringing any bells? Yes? Good.

Ok then, let's have a little chat about tipping, shall we? And the first thing I want to say is that I get it, I do. I hear where you are coming from. I actually hate the practice of tipping too. And I hate tipping particularly in this field. I think it muddies the therapeutic relationship (after all, do you tip your chiropracter? your acupuncturist? your PT? see what I mean?) In my private practice I have a stringent no-tipping policy and I like it that way. But we are not in my private practice. We are in a moderately high-end spa in Manhattan. And while I may believe that employees in all fields should be just paid an appropriate wage by their employers and that should be the end of it, I am not king of the world just yet, and that notion remains wishful thinking. The practice of tipping (for freaking everything) is so deeply entrenched in this city that it would take a hell of a lot more than your little protest to uproot it. You live here, for pete's sake, you know the rules! You cannot singlehandedly change this system by refusing to comply with it. So when you leave an embarrassingly small tip for a massage that you loved, you are not screwing "the system," you are screwing ME. "The system" doesn't give a shit what you do, but it sure as hell has an impact on me. Tips make up 40% of my income. Did you hear that? 40%. It is not just some extra spending money. It is all of my groceries and a large portion of my rent. Oh, yeah, and did I mention that I am the sole breadwinner in my little family these days because I am putting my wife through school? Yeah. So thanks a bunch. If you want to change the system then start a damn petition. Don't take your discontent out on me.

All the best,
TMTWBHA(ntmhh)WOTMOTIYBF75MY

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Dear friend,
I am reminded that you are the one who understands...always the one who understands, the only one who gets what I went through and am still dealing with. The way you just...get it, get me, I think we could fit. But we'll never get the chance to even try, and I hate that. Why is the one person I could maybe be with on the other side of the world?
I hate that we'll never meet, you'll never get to see if you could like me, and I'll never get to see how wonderful you are in person.
But I still care, I'm still here if you need me, I hope I can try to understand like you understand me.

[Candleshoe]

Dear friend,
I am reminded that you are the one who understands...always the one who understands, the only one who gets what I went through and am still dealing with. The way you just...get it, get me, I think we could fit. But we'll never get the chance to even try, and I hate that. Why is the one person I could maybe be with on the other side of the world?
I hate that we'll never meet, you'll never get to see if you could like me, and I'll never get to see how wonderful you are in person.
But I still care, I'm still here if you need me, I hope I can try to understand like you understand me.

I'm marrying the one woman in the world who gets me, despite the fact that she currently lives on the other side of the world. Don't give up on it, CrazyWitchTara, just because of the miles...

Topic:

Dear Universe, if you are going to make me dream about weddings, please don't make me marry her . Thank you. Shoey

[Willowtree252]

Dear friend,
I am reminded that you are the one who understands...always the one who understands, the only one who gets what I went through and am still dealing with. The way you just...get it, get me, I think we could fit. But we'll never get the chance to even try, and I hate that. Why is the one person I could maybe be with on the other side of the world?
I hate that we'll never meet, you'll never get to see if you could like me, and I'll never get to see how wonderful you are in person.
But I still care, I'm still here if you need me, I hope I can try to understand like you understand me.

I'm marrying the one woman in the world who gets me, despite the fact that she currently lives on the other side of the world. Don't give up on it, CrazyWitchTara, just because of the miles...

Topic:

Dear Universe, if you are going to make me dream about weddings, please don't make me marry her . Thank you. Shoey

I am with you on this one in less then a month I will marry Sandi and she lives 1900 miles from me I keep telling eveyone one that love knows no miles if its true. so dont give up if you in love go get her!!!

[thiswomanswork]

Dear Universe,

I get it. I do.

I'm strong, like an amazon. I can weather the trial. I can have faith that love conquers all things. I can live and learn and grow.

But when I get through it all, if you fuck it up for me anyway... you and me, we're gonna have words. You got that? I'll be a lot of things for you, but I will not be your whipping post.

Very sincerely,
Lady Serafina

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Dear life,
I am tired of this. So tired of being alone. I'm not strong, and I can't keep going like this, can't keep living with the pain of an empty life every moment of every day. I need someone to share my life with, someone I can love who will love me back, someone who will make a life with me.
I won't make it on my own.
So stop screwing with me, stop making me fall for people I can never be with. Make me strong enough to talk to real-life people so that maybe, someday, I can find someone. Let me get over them both, let me move on, let me find someone new.
Sincerely,
Jas

p.s.: you suck.

[hondos]

Dear Hell Phone People,
Fuck You. You simply suck.I like the camera but outside of this you have zero redeeming qualities.I wouldn't give you to W.(Well maybe W)....Send me a fuctioning battery or I will run over your multipule times.Please.

[love_2003]

Dear Universe,

I know winter is right around the corner but it shouldn't be showing up yet. Lets keep the 60 degree weather away at least until the end of the month.


Sincerely,
the girl who hasn't bought a winter coat yet

[LesbianJedi87]

Dear Arizona Traffic Signals,

You suck and give me panic attacks. Why should I stick my car in the middle of an intersection when traffic is flowing in that direction? Why can't I just sit and wait for it to be red with a left green arrow? Why are there weird turning lanes in the middle of the road for U Turns and WHY must I be so close to the traffic in the direction? I don't want to die.

This is why California is better then YOU. K thnx.

[Willowtree252]

ok Universe (Ike) get it over with and move on stop this shit you are so not going to fuck with me or my happniss I am going to marry, I am going to have my own home and I will have it with her. so Ike move on you big bully bastard .............. and try not to harm anyone while your at it

[Kessari]

Dear crazy two-faced bitch from work,

first of all I want you to know, that I won't let you frame me anymore. I'm sick of this. I know you for like six weeks now and there is nothing good I can say about you at all. How can you be so shallow and two-faced? We are supposed to work TOGETHER, not against each other! I keep on trying, but you just push me away, make fun of me, insult me and run me down. What did I do to deserve this?
I never judged you, when you judged me, without even knowing the truth! You accuse me of things I'd never do, never dream about and this hurts me. I know this shit you doing to me should not be able to get through to me and I should absolutely ignore it, but I just can't anymore. It is something you said on Tuesday, that made me so damn furious, that I would just have loved to kick your ass for. How in gods name can you say something like, that you ENVY someone with a disease, because they have two more days off? HOW?
I tried to make you understand, that I would just give away all my days off, work more than anyone else, if that would make me well again. You did not understand. You didn't even try and I don't think you WANTED to understand me. Just stop judging me, because you would NOT be able to survive one freaking day in my shoes...You just don't know me at all!

Kat

PS.: You should listen to this song. Maybe then you'd understand!

[writerfreak]

Dear Universe,
Why in hell would you put that Crazy Bitch on this earth? All she ever does is cause trouble wherever she goes and destroys lives. Thank the Goddess she didn't succeed in destroying mine. I want you to know one thing, you destroy her or I will. She has no purpose in my town, in my life, or in this world other than to hurt the people in it. And if she goes after my wife, or friends ever again it will be handled. Okay? Good.

Also, please let my friend find happiness. Crazy Bitch ruined everything that she was and broke her. She needs something to give her hope right now. So get right on that.

writerfreak

[Willowtree252]

Dear FEMA don't quit your day job you suck 5 days in no help an SOS to the aliens on Mars would work better.

[Lifty]

Dear best-friend,

I spent the whole of today deciding whether I'd tell you or not, and I didn't. But please stop trying to set me up with guys, because I like girls! Girls! Got it? And in two weeks time when we meet up with these 'potential summer boys' as you call them, I am not going to pretend I'm interested at all, because I'm not. It just frustrates me that I haven't told you I'm a lesbian, and I'm too scared to tell you. I've decided that I'm going to tell you, on our last day of school, and if you turn away from me because of it then you're not the friend I thought you were. It's as simple as that. I've just gotten over you, this year, after four years of being hopelessly in love with you, so to lose the friendship we have would kill me, I know it, but I'm ready to believe that you will accept me for who I am, so I'm going to take that risk.

Love you (as a friend).

Harri.

[bear]

Dear Universe
Why did you make me fall in love with her? my best mate of all ppl?
And why someone who is infatuated with one guy & trying to decide if she loves a second bloke that she's living with?
Why do's she flirt with me, kiss me and tell she wants to sleep with me, then pull this "sorry but I need to sort out my feelings for him first" crap?
She told me that if she did not love him then we'll sleep together
Then she tells me that our "agreement" still stand's but I'm not her soulmate
And why has the bitch ignored me for the last week?

Why did you give me an illness that stop's me getting my dream job?
I know things would have been better for me if I had made it into the RAMC as a Medic
I can see it now saving live's, good mates, staff sergeant at 30, maybe even make the unit's rugby team
Perhaps instead of two cousins having a reunion in Irag there would have been three of us

but no! I get a crap job, a twat for a boss, workmate's that would stab you in the back as soon as look at you
Then when I am three months away from being cleared to join up, my illness comes back with another one in tow
Ooh I nearly forgot my new alcohol allergy, so no more beer now as well

[Willowtree252]

Dear Fate thank you for bringing me an angel on earth she is everything and more that I wished for ........... far more the I deserve I will spend the rest of my life worshiping the ground she walks on Sappy Dia out!!

[LesbianJedi87]

Dear Americans,

You're fucking stupid. You don't listen. When this country continues to go to shit I'm blaming all of you. Have some common sense and quit being retarded for fucks sake. More people need to have some , get over themselves and make more of an effort to change things rather then talk a big game.

Blah.

[thiswomanswork]

Dear Universe,

Remember what I said in my last letter?

I'm starting to worry that you're trying to screw me over anyway. Don't. Do Not. I mean it. Trust me, you do NOT want to mess with me on this. You have pulled some really bad shit on me in the past, but when it comes to this matter, I am NOT taking any more abuse from you.

You just hold up your end of things, I'll hold up mine.

You'd better be listening.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

Dear old-friend,
Thank you. It's nice to know you care, even a little. Know that I'm still here.

[Kessari]

Dear Universe,

DON'T MESS WITH ME. This is my last warning and you pretty much start to piss me off big time. Why do you have to screw up my life so much the last few weeks. I was getting better for the first time in like 4 years and now you just let it come crashing down on me. This is not funny anymore. I say it one last time DO NOT MESS WITH ME. This is my life and you will not rule it!

[thiswomanswork]

Dear Merlin

I'll miss you, old friend. Your body is in a good place. I love you.